Situation critical here. JAWM. (Little update in OP)

[Pawz4me]

18 minutes ago, KidsHappen said:

Part of that amount was during the time he was employed and had a high deductible plan. At least now with the Cobra even though our premiums are high it covers a lot more. We have looked at the plans on the exchanges and the all cost more and cover less. Not sure why but we have checked a few times and found the same results. It might have to do with the kind of coverage I need.

DH quit work on SSDI due to stage IV cancer. On SSDI you're not eligible for Medicare for 24 months. Given that we already had an idea of what his yearly medical costs were going to be (the oral treatment he was on at the time was about $70k a month, IIRC) his COBRA coverage was the only thing that made sense for us. Our annual cost (premiums, deductibles, OOP max) was much less than any private or ACA plan available. I'm guessing COBRA often makes sense for people with expensive medical issues given that employer provided plans often offer much better coverage.

[thatfirstsip]

I must be looking at the wrong things; I buy health insurance straight from the marketplace, without an employer, and without any subsidies (as I make too much to qualify). My understanding is that a healthcare plan on the marketplace can't legally have an OOP max for a family higher than about $17-20k. If your private insurance is requiring that you pay $75k/year out of pocket for anything, it's worse insurance than you could buy straight from the marketplace. Like a lot worse. I don't even understand insurance where you end up paying $150k OOP over two years; what then is the point of insurance? It's pretty wild.

[kbutton]

7 minutes ago, thatfirstsip said:

I don't even understand insurance where you end up paying $150k OOP over two years; what then is the point of insurance? It's pretty wild.

Some things are not covered by insurance or are not covered at a reasonable level--hearing aids to prosthetics. 

Some specialists are out of network. 

Just some possible ways that come to mine.

[Mrs Tiggywinkle Again]

5 minutes ago, kbutton said:

Some things are not covered by insurance or are not covered at a reasonable level--hearing aids to prosthetics. 

Some specialists are out of network. 

Just some possible ways that come to mine.

We spend over $2000 a year on orthotics for my youngest as our insurance doesn’t cover orthotics.  Even with my company paying 75% of the premium it’s still $200 a week plus a $14,000 deductible(but they pay a large percentage of that as well).  I’m on meds that are $1100 a month when I can get them and insurance fights me every month on paying for them, even though they’re for diabetes. Two of my specialists aren’t in network but the closest specialists in network are four hours away.

it can add up really quickly.

Edited December 29, 2022 by Mrs Tiggywinkle Again

[Tap]

4 hours ago, KidsHappen said:

He has and one of the two jobs that he came very close to getting and was really excited about was a TN state job. He was in wage negotiations with them before Thanksgiving and he was left with the impression that they would be calling him with an offer after Thanksgiving and then they said they decided to go is a different direction. But he is still looking at gov jobs.

Make sure to look at USAJobs for federal jobs too!

[Pawz4me]

2 hours ago, thatfirstsip said:

I must be looking at the wrong things; I buy health insurance straight from the marketplace, without an employer, and without any subsidies (as I make too much to qualify). My understanding is that a healthcare plan on the marketplace can't legally have an OOP max for a family higher than about $17-20k. If your private insurance is requiring that you pay $75k/year out of pocket for anything, it's worse insurance than you could buy straight from the marketplace. Like a lot worse. I don't even understand insurance where you end up paying $150k OOP over two years; what then is the point of insurance? It's pretty wild.

People with serious health issues often have significant medical related expenses outside of what is covered by insurance. Everything from OTC products that are needed to help manage side effects of treatment medication or pain to assistive devices to durable medical equipment that's not covered, costs of travel/transportation for medical appointments, etc. Many, many things.

ETA a few other things I thought of: Possibly needing to modify your home to accommodate a walker or wheelchair--widening doorways, needing to have a tub converted into a low/no entry shower, adding a ramp or a stair lift, etc. Or needing a bigger vehicle for transporting a wheelchair, or a vehicle that's more easily accessible for someone with limited mobility. 

Edited December 29, 2022 by Pawz4me

[Shelydon]

1 hour ago, thatfirstsip said:

I must be looking at the wrong things; I buy health insurance straight from the marketplace, without an employer, and without any subsidies (as I make too much to qualify). My understanding is that a healthcare plan on the marketplace can't legally have an OOP max for a family higher than about $17-20k. If your private insurance is requiring that you pay $75k/year out of pocket for anything, it's worse insurance than you could buy straight from the marketplace. Like a lot worse. I don't even understand insurance where you end up paying $150k OOP over two years; what then is the point of insurance? It's pretty wild.

It's because so much is not covered by insurance. Especially durable medical items like wheelchairs etc. 

[sheryl]

I haven't read all of the replies and don't know what line of work your husband is in but could he consider a recruiter or computer work, remote work?  Flex jobs has awesome jobs available: ft, pt, on-site, remote, hybrid, executive, entry level and the list goes on.   He may want to check that out.  I'm sorry y'all are going through this.  

[QueenCat]

7 hours ago, KidsHappen said:

He says he is qualified but his certification has lapsed at the moment.

Do you have to take the test over again if the certification has lapsed? I'll try to remember to ask hubby. He has his PMP. It's helped him immensely in getting his most recent job and promotions. He's also done one renewal. I know it's good for three years. He's in IT, now in management. It's required to keep his PMP up to date. 

[mommyoffive]

I am so sorry you are in this situation.  I hope that all the ideas and leads that are coming your way lead to open doors soon.

[KidsHappen]

New info in OP.

[Ottakee]

I saw about applying for disability.   Apply tomorrow and THEN gather all the information.  You don’t need it all in order to apply and get the clock ticking.

[Scarlett]

I really admire the willingness the two of you have shown to ask for advice and follow suggestions.  Not all things offered will work but you are both really trying to find solutions.  
 

A HELOC is a line of credit which usually has low fees to process, but it will still eat up your equity if you use it to live  on.  Plus I don’t think you will qualify since you are both currently unemployed.  

[sheryl]

36 minutes ago, KidsHappen said:

New info in OP.

Yay, progress in the right direction.  Well, it sounds like a lot of work but don't give up.  Keep persevering and champion each other on!  Sounds like you're doing that already! Baby steps....

[Carol in Cal.]

8 minutes ago, Scarlett said:

I really admire the willingness the two of you have shown to ask for advice and follow suggestions.  Not all things offered will work but you are both really trying to find solutions.  
 

A HELOC is a line of credit which usually has low fees to process, but it will still eat up your equity if you use it to live  on.  Plus I don’t think you will qualify since you are both currently unemployed.  

Interest rates right now are pretty high, too.

[popmom]

I’m so glad to see your update. Hoping that some of those small successes and progress will strengthen and encourage you both.

[TexasProud]

Glad to see the update. Hang in there! Still praying here.

[KidsHappen]

I know some of you had asked about our medical costs and I didn't answer those questions at the time because I don't handle the medical bills and didn't really know the answers but tonight we were going through some of the bills to submit my SSI claim and I found a bill from a single provider for a single ER visit from last March that was $27,000 that was not covered by insurance. There were a few bills like this.

Our previous insurance was not very good. It was a high deductible plan with high premiums and from my understanding was the cheapest plan available from his employer at that time. They did cover a lot of things but they also denied a lot of things which I guess made them not eligible to be included in our out of pocket maximum amount? Some of these bills were resubmitted more than once and then appealed and then eventually covered (come as recently as the last 30 days) but others not which made us responsible for them.

Our current plan is much better. It covers almost everything with low deductibles but that is why the premiums are so high. Once again from my understanding, the Cobra monthly charge is based on what both you and the company together were paying for the coverage (of course I am sure they were getting a discount we are not getting) so it was an excellent benefit while he was employed but it is really costing us now. 

Anyhow, these are some of the things that fed into such high medical bills. I am sure that there are more that I am not aware of but I thought I would post the ones that I found.

[Ottakee]

I would call the hospital/doctors office, etc of any places you have medical bills.  Often if you talk to them they can reduce the bill and/or give you a reasonable payment plan for your budget.

a $27,000 ER visit NOT covered at all by insurance seems very off.  Most have out of pocket limits much less than that one bill and/or they cover some/most of the items billed for but might reject one test, etc.

[Kanin]

1 hour ago, Ottakee said:

I would call the hospital/doctors office, etc of any places you have medical bills.  Often if you talk to them they can reduce the bill and/or give you a reasonable payment plan for your budget.

a $27,000 ER visit NOT covered at all by insurance seems very off.  Most have out of pocket limits much less than that one bill and/or they cover some/most of the items billed for but might reject one test, etc.

Yes, this! A couple years back I got a large medical bill and freaked out. I called the hospital in tears and the lady on the phone told me that they have a program for lower income people. My bill was reduced by a big %, just for making a call. 

[Jaybee]

41 minutes ago, Kanin said:

Yes, this! A couple years back I got a large medical bill and freaked out. I called the hospital in tears and the lady on the phone told me that they have a program for lower income people. My bill was reduced by a big %, just for making a call. 

Agree. Ds' family had many medical costs last year. With some diplomacy and making phone calls, he was able to get several bills radically reduced or even eliminated. 

[Ottakee]

38 minutes ago, Jaybee said:

Agree. Ds' family had many medical costs last year. With some diplomacy and making phone calls, he was able to get several bills radically reduced or even eliminated. 

Yes and hospitals are often very willing to work with you on a very affordable payment…..even $10-20/month

[BlsdMama]

5 hours ago, KidsHappen said:

I know some of you had asked about our medical costs and I didn't answer those questions at the time because I don't handle the medical bills and didn't really know the answers but tonight we were going through some of the bills to submit my SSI claim and I found a bill from a single provider for a single ER visit from last March that was $27,000 that was not covered by insurance. There were a few bills like this.

Anyhow, these are some of the things that fed into such high medical bills. I am sure that there are more that I am not aware of but I thought I would post the ones that I found.

Any that you've not yet paid? Contact them and explain the scenario. Many hospital connected groups have patient assistance.

Also, if he decides to start applying out of state, plmk. Many of us have husbands who work for big corporations that are always looking for IT/Systems.

Edited January 5, 2023 by BlsdMama

[pinball]

Re: disability claims

Start looking for a disability lawyer.

Up to 2/3rds of applications are initially denied but you can appeal. Get a lawyer for the appeal.

The lawyer will take a percentage of your back settlement if you get approved, otherwise, she gets nothing. It takes years from first application thru appeal so I think the lawyer’s fee is capped at about $5000 (not 100% sure of the amount).
 

IMO, don’t go to a big firm. Try to find a small practice where you actually speak with the lawyer who will represent you.

[ktgrok]

On 1/5/2023 at 10:00 AM, BlsdMama said:

Any that you've not yet paid? Contact them and explain the scenario. Many hospital connected groups have patient assistance.

Also, if he decides to start applying out of state, plmk. Many of us have husbands who work for big corporations that are always looking for IT/Systems.

This. Also, many out of state companies hire people for remote work. We are in Florida and my husband started a new job in January that is for an IT company based in South Dakota. 

Also, if you want to PM me more info I can pass it on to him - he has tons of contacts in IT from around the country and might be able to help - can at least pass your resume around. Also, if your husband wants to take some classes to put updated stuff on his resume and look "eager" or whatever, the company my husband works for has "pay what you can" IT classes that are VERY well regarded, taught by top instructors. As in, these people teach SANS courses, etc, but do this as well and the company just sucks if up if someone can't pay, because eventually they WIll be able to pay for a course. (company is AMAZING). 

Most of their classes are not "pay what you can" but they always have a handful that are. https://www.antisyphontraining.com/pay-what-you-can/

[ktgrok]

Oh, and if any of your medications are part of the high bills it is worth it to check online for manufacturer coupons/discount cards. My ADHD meds, for example, are $90 with insurance, but $40 with insurance plus discount card from the website. 

Most higher cost drugs have a program - the trick is you have to know these exist and go to their website and find them. If you can't find anything, email/contact the drug company. 

[ktgrok]

Oh, and if any of your medications are part of the high bills it is worth it to check online for manufacturer coupons/discount cards. My ADHD meds, for example, are $90 with insurance, but $40 with insurance plus discount card from the website. 

Most higher cost drugs have a program - the trick is you have to know these exist and go to their website and find them. If you can't find anything, email/contact the drug company. 

[LucyStoner]

It can be extra hard to get hired in IT when you are approaching retirement age.  I know so many who were out of work for years when they were laid off around 55ish.  For some, a layoff at 55-62 basically means early, involuntary retirement.  

Age discrimination is real and basically impossible to prove in hiring.

I encourage a few things:

-Cast the net far and wide. Sometimes IT positions in government, medical orgs and non-profits have less age discrimination in the hiring practices than tech companies and consulting firms do.  Many pay less but have more robust retirement plans.  

-Refresh certs, drop anything from resume that ages you past 45 or thereabouts.   Leave the degree, strip the dates.  Only list your last 20 years of experience or so.  No one needs to know that you graduated from college in the 1980s or that you were working FT in 1990.  

-For interviews, cover gray hair, dress 10 years younger than you are in zoom interviews and use the most flattering picture you have on LinkedIn.  Make sure your haircut isn’t aging you. 

-Make decisions that work for long term under/unemployment - take in renters, cohabitate with family members, do random gig work that will bring in grocery money, consider getting a job that comes with health benefits even if it’s totally outta of your field and you’d quit on a dime if hired back in IT- Costco, Starbucks etc.

It’s comforting to think that it will only be a couple more months and *hopefully that’s the case* but in case it’s not, be making the decisions you would have wished you’d made if you knew this would be a long term thing.  

Edited February 20, 2023 by LucyStoner

[sheryl]

On 12/28/2022 at 6:39 AM, KidsHappen said:

As I mentioned in another thread, my hubby has been downsized twice in the last two years basically due to Covid. The first time was about 9 month after covid started and was from a job he had been a consultant at for 15 years. There were less jobs coming in and they basically "retired" all the older employees. There was some notice, a small severance package and continuing health benefits for a short amount of time. It was enough to help us through until my hubby found another job. But the new company did  the same thing in a short amount of time only this time without any notice, severance or health benefits.

Now my hubby is older but we are not quite retirement age yet. We are not eligible for SS or medicaid. We have spent most of our life helping others so we haven't really put away tons of money towards retirement yet. But we had some and we have been living on that, not at a smaller retirement living rate but at a still paying the mortgage rate. Plus we are paying $3000 a month for Cobra coverage and have paid about $150,000 towards my healthcare. We have drained all of our liquid assets and are literally down to our last month of reserves. We can pay the mortgage for January and I think that the utilities are already paid and we might have a little left or food but that is and there is not a job in sight.

We have good credit and no debt other than the house so we have looked at pulling some equity out of the house or even selling the house if we have to but both of those would leave us in a much worse situation for the future. Of course it would make more sense to sell the house than lose it so we will do that if we have to. Hopefully we won't. Between his unemployment and VA money we make enough each month to cover the mortgage but nothing else. Any other temporary job he could get around here until he could find something else in his field would be in restaurant or retail and wouldn't pay more than unemployment.

The big problem is keeping health care coverage on me. So my hubby who has never asked for help from anyone in his life has started a GoFundMe page to try and raise at least enough to cover the Cobra charges and then we can worry about paying medical bills later. This both breaks my heart and fills me with an this positive feeling that I can't really describe that I touched someone's life enough that they care enough to help. When he first told me I thought that there was no way anyone would contribute any money to it and yet in just one day we have over $1600 already. We have received contributions from people that we have helped in the past and one that really surprised me, one of my dd's old boyfriends. Hopefully we will scrape together enough for this month's Cobra and we won't need it next month.

As far as food I probably have enough in the pantry to make it a month and then after that my dd owns a restaurant so I don't think she  will let us starve. The only thing I haven't figured out is the utility bills. I don't think they will turn them off if we go one month without paying them but if he doesn't find a job soon then I don't know. Maybe one month pay the mortgage and then one month pay the utility bills? Never been here before so don't really know what to do.

One kind of funny thing that happened out of all of this. I own at least a 1000 books and my hubby asked on Christmas day if he could sell them. I said no. Sell all the furniture first and I will sit on lawn chairs and read my books. So we go to my dds and for Christmas I get 5 books, a book holder, a book light, and an embosser that says "This book belongs to the library of KidsHappen". I told my hubby if that wasn't the universe speaking to him I don't know what was. I did say I would do through my books I see if I could part with any though. 

Anyway, if anyone has ideas that I might not have thought of those would be appreciated and I would welcome helpful advice gently delivered but I am heading into a depression so I really can't handle any criticism right now. Of course warm wishes and prayers are always welcome. Thanks for reading and thinking of me. 

Update 1/4: I just wanted to let everyone know that my hubby read this whole thread and took notes on all of the suggestions and we are working on a few different things right now. He is starting to get some more beginning interviews and we are considering that he may need to take a job for less pay than he previously made. We are working on the disability application but it is arduous because they want all of your diagnoses and medical records and that is a lot but we are working on collecting all of that info. He has applied for help from a few programs. He has talked to the mortgage company about delaying or skipping payments, don't know the status of that yet. He has also gotten some other suggestions from other resources that may be of help once he gets a job again. Specifically someone suggested a HELOC. Does anyone know anything about these and if they are a good idea? Anyway, I will keep you guys updated as things progress and once again thanks to all for all o the help, suggestions and support. 

I read some but not all of the replies.  Read your update.  So, I don't know what state you're in but have you considered seeking those companies that "may" have excellent healthcare for even part time employees?  I thought there were companies out there 10 or so years ago like that but don't know about now.

How about "renting" a bedroom to a tenant?  It's not ideal but you could make it work and help towards keeping your house.  If you have a walk out basement that would even be a better dedicated place for a tenant.  A room would work fine though.  Professor, single person, college student, etc.  From a legal standpoint (I'm not a lawyer) you'd have to have something in writing (probably basic resources online) for a contract.  You do not need to pay legal fees for a contract such as this.  Just a basic one and have it notarized, etc.  

[Wheres Toto]

Depending on where you live, you should also check with your state on if they have any mortgage/home savers type programs.  We did one a few years back when dh was unemployed.  The state paid our mortgage for a year, I think they would have done an additional year if we needed it but dh got a job.    It is a "loan" that is forgiven at a certain percentage each year after the loan date.  If we keep our house and don't make any major changes (we aren't allowed to refinance or build on without paying off the remainder of the program loan), the loan is completely forgiven in 5 years.   

[ktgrok]

30 minutes ago, Wheres Toto said:

Depending on where you live, you should also check with your state on if they have any mortgage/home savers type programs.  We did one a few years back when dh was unemployed.  The state paid our mortgage for a year, I think they would have done an additional year if we needed it but dh got a job.    It is a "loan" that is forgiven at a certain percentage each year after the loan date.  If we keep our house and don't make any major changes (we aren't allowed to refinance or build on without paying off the remainder of the program loan), the loan is completely forgiven in 5 years.   

Oh, great idea! I just looked, I think OP is in TN and they DO have a program! https://thda.org/help-for-homeowners/haf

Looks like they will provide up to 6 months of mortgage payments, direct to lender, no repayment needed. 

Edited February 20, 2023 by ktgrok

[Grace Hopper]

Re HELOC - these can be good if you are careful. Many come with fluctuating/variable interest rates. You should compare it to simply refinancing your home; see if you can get a good guaranteed interest rate that way. 

[Grace Hopper]

1 hour ago, sheryl said:

I read some but not all of the replies.  Read your update.  So, I don't know what state you're in but have you considered seeking those companies that "may" have excellent healthcare for even part time employees?  I thought there were companies out there 10 or so years ago like that but don't know about now.

How about "renting" a bedroom to a tenant?  It's not ideal but you could make it work and help towards keeping your house.  If you have a walk out basement that would even be a better dedicated place for a tenant.  A room would work fine though.  Professor, single person, college student, etc.  From a legal standpoint (I'm not a lawyer) you'd have to have something in writing (probably basic resources online) for a contract.  You do not need to pay legal fees for a contract such as this.  Just a basic one and have it notarized, etc.  

Be sure you are aware of the tax implications of being landlords. 

[sassenach]

[quoted post removed for breach of board rules]

@KidsHappen can you legitimize this? Just want to make sure it's not an interloper trying to run a scam.

[KidsHappen]

11 minutes ago, sassenach said:

@KidsHappen can you legitimize this? Just want to make sure it's not an interloper trying to run a scam.

Yep, that’s my hubby. I didn’t know he posted that. I am at the doctors right now but I will post an update later.

[KidsHappen]

On 2/20/2023 at 12:35 PM, LucyStoner said:

It can be extra hard to get hired in IT when you are approaching retirement age.  I know so many who were out of work for years when they were laid off around 55ish.  For some, a layoff at 55-62 basically means early, involuntary retirement.  

Age discrimination is real and basically impossible to prove in hiring.

I encourage a few things:

-Cast the net far and wide. Sometimes IT positions in government, medical orgs and non-profits have less age discrimination in the hiring practices than tech companies and consulting firms do.  Many pay less but have more robust retirement plans.  

-Refresh certs, drop anything from resume that ages you past 45 or thereabouts.   Leave the degree, strip the dates.  Only list your last 20 years of experience or so.  No one needs to know that you graduated from college in the 1980s or that you were working FT in 1990.  

-For interviews, cover gray hair, dress 10 years younger than you are in zoom interviews and use the most flattering picture you have on LinkedIn.  Make sure your haircut isn’t aging you. 

-Make decisions that work for long term under/unemployment - take in renters, cohabitate with family members, do random gig work that will bring in grocery money, consider getting a job that comes with health benefits even if it’s totally outta of your field and you’d quit on a dime if hired back in IT- Costco, Starbucks etc.

It’s comforting to think that it will only be a couple more months and *hopefully that’s the case* but in case it’s not, be making the decisions you would have wished you’d made if you knew this would be a long term thing.  

My hubby is beginning to think that this is the problem. He has been unemployed for many months now and that has not ever happened since he started working at 16. He is getting plenty of first and second phone interviews but then he will get a computer interview or in person interview and things look good but then he never hears back. Some of the positions are still not filled because 2 or 3 weeks later a different recruiter will try to present him for the same job. So all of your suggestions here are deeply appreciated.

Edited February 24, 2023 by KidsHappen

[KidsHappen]

On 2/20/2023 at 1:37 PM, Wheres Toto said:

Depending on where you live, you should also check with your state on if they have any mortgage/home savers type programs.  We did one a few years back when dh was unemployed.  The state paid our mortgage for a year, I think they would have done an additional year if we needed it but dh got a job.    It is a "loan" that is forgiven at a certain percentage each year after the loan date.  If we keep our house and don't make any major changes (we aren't allowed to refinance or build on without paying off the remainder of the program loan), the loan is completely forgiven in 5 years.   

He has applied for something like this but we have been in the waiting for approval stage for quite awhile now. Our mortgage company has allowed us to skip 3 months worth o payments which I think that they will add on to the back end.

[KidsHappen]

On 2/20/2023 at 1:58 PM, ktgrok said:

Oh, great idea! I just looked, I think OP is in TN and they DO have a program! https://thda.org/help-for-homeowners/haf

Looks like they will provide up to 6 months of mortgage payments, direct to lender, no repayment needed. 

He will check this out just in case it is different than the one we have already applied for. Thanks for the link.

[KidsHappen]

On 2/20/2023 at 3:11 PM, sassenach said:

[quoted post removed for breach of board rules]

@KidsHappen can you legitimize this? Just want to make sure it's not an interloper trying to run a scam.

I just had time to quickly scan that post and verify that it was my hubby before it was deleted. I think he posted a link to the GoFundMe page and he didn't know he wasn't supposed to and I can't really remember what else he said.