Low key kinda want to strangle my kid's environmental science teacher

[Terabith]

My youngest kid has a lifelong severe anxiety disorder.  She's well medicated and doing fine, but she doesn't do movies.  And by "doesn't do movies," I'm saying she's seen fewer than 20 full length films in her entire life.  She finds Disney movies too stressful to take.  We have finally figured out that what is too stressful is : 1) interpersonal conflict or narrative tension, and 2) scary background music.

Her environmental science teacher loves using disaster movies from the 90s or early 00s as "filler" when there's a sub or down time or even when they're doing worksheets.  Disaster movies are chock full of narrative tension, interpersonal conflict, and scary background music.  

Going to alternative location in the school doesn't work because in this school, the library is used for small group testing, and there just isn't an alternative location to go.  

This is the third time this year we've had to pick her up from school because she's had a panic attack due to a stupid movie.  One was Deep Impact.  Another was some environmental film where global warming killed the jet stream and it plunged the planet into a planet wide ice age overnight, dropping the global temperatures like 50-100 degrees.  Today's movie was Dante's Peak, and featured a Grandma who refused to leave her house that was next to a volcano because her husband had built it for her, volcano expert parents speaking at a conference who left their 8 and 15 year old kids home alone in town near volcano who decided to go rescue Grandma, a lake that turned to acid and ate a boat while they were crossing it, and a dog.  Grandma jumped into the boiling acid to pull the boat to a dock rather than stepping onto the perfectly sound dock to do the same.  

And they were watching this while being asked to do a worksheet that utilized a website that was wonky and frustrating.  

I get that my kid is an outlier in terms of movies and anxiety, but I can't imagine that others in the class didn't find it distracting.  

They had watched "Phantom of the Opera" in another class today, which she also found stressful but mostly ridiculous.  

[TheReader]

oh, gosh; that would be awful for one of mine. 

Will she be in the same class next semester?  I wonder if the teacher would allow her to bring noise cancelling headphones on movie days, to at least block out the distracting sound...?  or if the school secretary, counselor, *someone* could allow use of their office for times like these? Nurse's office? Surely there's something....? 

I'd want to low key (or even high key) strangle the teacher, too....

[HomeAgain]

Oh, gosh, ds12 would go nuts in that situation.  That's too much going on for him to complete anything effectively.

[Terabith]

2 minutes ago, TheReader said:

oh, gosh; that would be awful for one of mine. 

Will she be in the same class next semester?  I wonder if the teacher would allow her to bring noise cancelling headphones on movie days, to at least block out the distracting sound...?  or if the school secretary, counselor, *someone* could allow use of their office for times like these? Nurse's office? Surely there's something....? 

I'd want to low key (or even high key) strangle the teacher, too....

Yeah, same class next semester.  And she likes the class when they're not watching movies.  I might ask about the headphones.  It's only low key want to strangle, because I think the teacher was kind about the whole situation, and did warn them.  Even if she'd been given the option to leave early, she might have been reluctant to do so because she wanted help with the worksheet and the stupid website they had to cull information from.  

But yeah, we need to do some problem solving.  

[Lecka]

They can’t find *anywhere* for her at school?  Is there a waiting area in the office?  Are there office aides or library aides?  Is there an elective teacher who lets kids sit in their classroom?

 

My high school son has a plan for next semester involving an elective teacher that lets kids sit in the back of the classroom.

 

And a huge complaint…. There are no study halls here, in our previous district study halls were a real positive for him.  
 

Edit:  my son would be fine with that kind of movie but since Covid struggles to understand why he should be at school and in class for things that are not positive uses of time.  I’m sure we can all see his side but it’s a problem, he could stand being more of a “get-along go-along” person.  Hopefully next semester will be better, he is making some changes that are options at his school.  

Edited December 20, 2022 by Lecka

[Terabith]

Just now, Lecka said:

They can’t find *anywhere* for her at school?  Is there a waiting area in the office?  Are there office aides or library aides?  Is there an elective teacher who lets kids sit in their classroom?

 

My high school son has a plan for next semester involving an elective teacher that lets kids sit in the back of the classroom.

 

And a huge complaint…. There are no study halls here, in our previous district study halls were a real positive for him.  

Yeah, we have no study halls here.  

Movies are honestly a major complaint I have about this school.  When they finish the yearly standardized testing, pretty much every class goes to all movies all day.  When my oldest kid attended, before their school induced nervous breakdown (not movie related), I picked them up at lunch almost every day in May because they literally did nothing other than watch movies.  

[happi duck]

Ugh!

Disaster movies outside of a film class don't belong in the classroom.

Movies while working makes no sense 

Imo, full length movies as filler shouldn't be a thing.

[Hilltopmom]

Does she  have a 504 plan fr anxiety? Get “no movies” added to it. Heck, she could sit in the hall and read a book instead.

[Terabith]

Just now, Hilltopmom said:

Does she  have a 504 plan fr anxiety? Get “no movies” added to it. Heck, she could sit in the hall and read a book instead.

She has an IEP for a learning disability.  

But she's also 17.5 and self conscious about being singled out.  It's a balancing act.  

[Lecka]

This just seems like such an easily solved problem with such a negative consequence for your daughter when it’s not solved — I hope you guys can figure it out!!!!!!!!

[Elizabeth86]

Ugh. I’m so sorry. I’ve always hated Disney movies. I remember thinking as a small child why on earth people show kids these movies and I still feel the same.  My kids don’t care, but they still get me too.

[Lecka]

Oh!  That makes sense and does complicate things!!!!!!!

 

Sigh.  
 

I still hope you guys figure something out or your daughter figures out something that works for her and that she’s willing to do!  Not like that’s a tall order or anything… but I do hope so!

[Terabith]

Just now, Lecka said:

Oh!  That makes sense and does complicate things!!!!!!!

 

Sigh.  
 

I still hope you guys figure something out or your daughter figures out something that works for her and that she’s willing to do!  Not like that’s a tall order or anything… but I do hope so!

Yeah, she's usually good about self advocating, but she also wants to be with her friends.  And not stand out, and to be able to get assistance.  

A tall order.  

I'm just annoyed about this situation, because I can't imagine she's the only kid who has trouble working or coping with doing work WHILE watching a movie, and this seems to be a pretty common thing in this school's culture.  

[elegantlion]

Ugh, I found Dante's Peak traumatizing even as an adult, and I don't generally mind disaster movies. BTW, the dog makes it. He shows up later. 

[Terabith]

Just now, elegantlion said:

Ugh, I found Dante's Peak traumatizing even as an adult, and I don't generally mind disaster movies. BTW, the dog makes it. He shows up later. 

Yeah, my husband picked her up while I was at physical therapy, and as soon as I got home, I went in and hugged her, and we figured out what the movie was and read the synopsis on wikipedia, because I figured knowing what happened would help, and it did.

The dog makes it but Grandma doesn't.  On balance a win.  

[Halftime Hope]

Was this sprung on you all without warning?  If you are able to, noise-canceling headphones would go a long way, especially if you get the kind that will play music, not just hearing protectors. 

From what I'm seeing these days, teens seem to be very tolerant about other kids' differences, as long as it's billed as a struggle for the kid involved and the kid is liked or has decent friends.

Just a thought.

 

[Tanaqui]

I don't see how the teacher was "kind about the situation" if they continue to air these movies. Like, would it kill them to pick something a little less fraught, if they're so determined to air *something*?

[Terabith]

35 minutes ago, Tanaqui said:

I don't see how the teacher was "kind about the situation" if they continue to air these movies. Like, would it kill them to pick something a little less fraught, if they're so determined to air *something*?

Well, she was kind about this particular panic attack.  

Honestly, by my kid's request, I haven't made any complaints about the movies, because she doesn't necessarily want to leave (friends, assistance with work, etc).  She THOUGHT this movie would be okay, because it started out as a rom com.  It just changed suddenly halfway through, and that really messed with her head.  

1 hour ago, Halftime Hope said:

Was this sprung on you all without warning?  If you are able to, noise-canceling headphones would go a long way, especially if you get the kind that will play music, not just hearing protectors. 

From what I'm seeing these days, teens seem to be very tolerant about other kids' differences, as long as it's billed as a struggle for the kid involved and the kid is liked or has decent friends.

Just a thought.

 

There's no warning about movies, but at certain times of semesters, there is one in at least one class a day.  There's no real practical way for her to completely avoid movies.  She does have ear buds, but the school considers noise canceling headphones a safety hazard.  Which is stupid, but it is what it is.  

[katilac]

4 minutes ago, Terabith said:

 She does have ear buds, but the school considers noise canceling headphones a safety hazard.  Which is stupid, but it is what it is.  

They do have noise-cancelling ear buds. I have no idea how they rate versus headphones, but they would be better than regular ear buds. 

[Kalmia]

It's environmental studies, for goodness sake, there are thousands upon thousands of nature documentaries this teacher could play and the kids could actually be learning something about the subject during movie time. 

[Terabith]

Just now, Kalmia said:

It's environmental studies, for goodness sake, there are thousands upon thousands of nature documentaries this teacher could play and the kids could actually be learning something about the subject during movie time. 

Right???

When my oldest was at this school and having anxiety issues related to NOISE (movies playing plus kids talking over them for the last six weeks of the school year), I asked why kids were required to attend school when there was absolutely no education going on and I was told, and I quote, "We aren't allowed to teach anything after the state tests, because it's an educational equity issue."  

SIX WEEKS of nothing but movies.

Which makes absolutely zero sense, but I got that line from everyone from the classroom teachers to the guidance counselor to the assistant principal.  

Educationally, it is a damn waste.

[Rosie_0801]

My daughter tends to treat school like a buffet. She wagged the fun school trip to a theme park to come to my house.

Six weeks of movies? I don't even think dd's conformist father would care if she wagged.

[TravelingChris]

3 hours ago, Terabith said:

My youngest kid has a lifelong severe anxiety disorder.  She's well medicated and doing fine, but she doesn't do movies.  And by "doesn't do movies," I'm saying she's seen fewer than 20 full length films in her entire life.  She finds Disney movies too stressful to take.  We have finally figured out that what is too stressful is : 1) interpersonal conflict or narrative tension, and 2) scary background music.

Her environmental science teacher loves using disaster movies from the 90s or early 00s as "filler" when there's a sub or down time or even when they're doing worksheets.  Disaster movies are chock full of narrative tension, interpersonal conflict, and scary background music.  

Going to alternative location in the school doesn't work because in this school, the library is used for small group testing, and there just isn't an alternative location to go.  

This is the third time this year we've had to pick her up from school because she's had a panic attack due to a stupid movie.  One was Deep Impact.  Another was some environmental film where global warming killed the jet stream and it plunged the planet into a planet wide ice age overnight, dropping the global temperatures like 50-100 degrees.  Today's movie was Dante's Peak, and featured a Grandma who refused to leave her house that was next to a volcano because her husband had built it for her, volcano expert parents speaking at a conference who left their 8 and 15 year old kids home alone in town near volcano who decided to go rescue Grandma, a lake that turned to acid and ate a boat while they were crossing it, and a dog.  Grandma jumped into the boiling acid to pull the boat to a dock rather than stepping onto the perfectly sound dock to do the same.  

And they were watching this while being asked to do a worksheet that utilized a website that was wonky and frustrating.  

I get that my kid is an outlier in terms of movies and anxiety, but I can't imagine that others in the class didn't find it distracting.  

They had watched "Phantom of the Opera" in another class today, which she also found stressful but mostly ridiculous.  

There is almost no way that I could work in classroom with a  movie going on.  I am ADHD,

[TravelingChris]

25 minutes ago, Terabith said:

Right???

When my oldest was at this school and having anxiety issues related to NOISE (movies playing plus kids talking over them for the last six weeks of the school year), I asked why kids were required to attend school when there was absolutely no education going on and I was told, and I quote, "We aren't allowed to teach anything after the state tests, because it's an educational equity issue."  

SIX WEEKS of nothing but movies.

Which makes absolutely zero sense, but I got that line from everyone from the classroom teachers to the guidance counselor to the assistant principal.  

Educationally, it is a damn waste.

This is insane.  Put onh NAt Geo or Discovery and have them learn things.  (As an aside, when I used to volunteer tutor at at  Title 1 school, one day, that had me basically sub for a teacher for a class period.  I decided to read a book about animals to the 4th graders and discuss as we go.  There was one little boy who was just so far head of the rest of the class- because he watched educational shows on tv.)

[Terabith]

2 minutes ago, TravelingChris said:

This is insane.  Put onh NAt Geo or Discovery and have them learn things.  (As an aside, when I used to volunteer tutor at at  Title 1 school, one day, that had me basically sub for a teacher for a class period.  I decided to read a book about animals to the 4th graders and discuss as we go.  There was one little boy who was just so far head of the rest of the class- because he watched educational shows on tv.)

Yeah, Cat has wound up with an impressively huge storehouse of knowledge, partially because she is finds movies and tv shows distressing, she watches a lot of educational stuff and listens to a lot of educational podcasts.  Her storehouse of knowledge is kinda random, but it's impressively deep and a lot wider than I expected.  I realized over the pandemic that she's in many ways the perfect unschooler.  Except for math.  And she would never have learned how to decode on her own.  But content stuff, she's great at, and she is really, really good at productively occupying herself.

[vonfirmath]

6 hours ago, Terabith said:

My youngest kid has a lifelong severe anxiety disorder.  She's well medicated and doing fine, but she doesn't do movies.  And by "doesn't do movies," I'm saying she's seen fewer than 20 full length films in her entire life.  She finds Disney movies too stressful to take.  We have finally figured out that what is too stressful is : 1) interpersonal conflict or narrative tension, and 2) scary background music.

Her environmental science teacher loves using disaster movies from the 90s or early 00s as "filler" when there's a sub or down time or even when they're doing worksheets.  Disaster movies are chock full of narrative tension, interpersonal conflict, and scary background music.  

Going to alternative location in the school doesn't work because in this school, the library is used for small group testing, and there just isn't an alternative location to go.  

This is the third time this year we've had to pick her up from school because she's had a panic attack due to a stupid movie.  One was Deep Impact.  Another was some environmental film where global warming killed the jet stream and it plunged the planet into a planet wide ice age overnight, dropping the global temperatures like 50-100 degrees.  Today's movie was Dante's Peak, and featured a Grandma who refused to leave her house that was next to a volcano because her husband had built it for her, volcano expert parents speaking at a conference who left their 8 and 15 year old kids home alone in town near volcano who decided to go rescue Grandma, a lake that turned to acid and ate a boat while they were crossing it, and a dog.  Grandma jumped into the boiling acid to pull the boat to a dock rather than stepping onto the perfectly sound dock to do the same.  

And they were watching this while being asked to do a worksheet that utilized a website that was wonky and frustrating.  

I get that my kid is an outlier in terms of movies and anxiety, but I can't imagine that others in the class didn't find it distracting.  

They had watched "Phantom of the Opera" in another class today, which she also found stressful but mostly ridiculous.  

My son hates going to movie theaters because of the narrative tension

 

I know he's opted out of movies in school when he could as well.

 

[vonfirmath]

(We left Frozen because he could not handle it -- went back and saw the rest.

But we went to Moana--and that time we did not finish. We ended up leaving)

 

We have not attempted many movies since. We saw Pilgrim's progress and a Sight and Sound movie. (which I think was fine because it's a bible story -- he knew ho0w it ended)

[kbutton]

 

23 hours ago, Terabith said:

She does have ear buds, but the school considers noise canceling headphones a safety hazard.  Which is stupid, but it is what it is.  

Any chance she can hyperfocus while reading? If so, I think I'd send her with an engrossing book. 

[Terabith]

1 hour ago, kbutton said:

 

Any chance she can hyperfocus while reading? If so, I think I'd send her with an engrossing book. 

Not really.  My kids don’t have practice with tuning out noise.  We’re all very much do one thing at a time people here.  I’m the only one who can remotely tune out background music or tv.  

[Bootsie]

If the films are not directly related to instruction, it is likely that the films are being used in violation of copyright law.  I know that this is a frequent occurence at some schools, but I find it very annoying.  First, there are many other educational activities that students could be involved in while they are at school.  Second, if we want students to learn about plagiarism, copyrights, and academic honesty, we should role model it.  

[Clemsondana]

I hate the amount of time wasted in many schools.  Here, testing is about a month before school lets out, and many schools don't do much academic after that.  One teacher friend says that she puts labs and hands-on activities then.  Apparently it's hard, since middle and high schoolers know that everything that they're supposed to cover has already been done prior to the end of course tests.  This is nowhere near the same as when I was in school and the last week was filled with fun activities but we did work up until then.  And, I agree, even some of the filler and fun stuff can be educational.  Our co-op teachers are supposed to have emergency plans for if they get sick and they have to stick a random person in your class to supervise.  I picked up a couple of DVDs of NOVA or PBS specials on biology topics.  For younger kids, a couple of Magic Schoolbus episodes would work.  When I was in school, if the band director was out we watched musicals.  The French teacher at co-op ends every semester with a day of watching a kid's show in French while they try to figure out what's going on.  The Latin teacher ends with a Latin feast and they play games or try to decipher famous Latin quotes.  This isn't hard. 

[ktgrok]

On 12/20/2022 at 5:11 PM, elegantlion said:

Ugh, I found Dante's Peak traumatizing even as an adult, and I don't generally mind disaster movies. BTW, the dog makes it. He shows up later. 

Same. I think it may be less embarrassing for her to say she finds the movies distracting while working (because um, hello? They are!) and wear headphones and turn her chair away to face the other direction, than to tell everyone she finds them scary/anxiety producing. 

[katilac]

On 12/20/2022 at 9:52 PM, vonfirmath said:

(We left Frozen because he could not handle it -- went back and saw the rest.

But we went to Moana--and that time we did not finish. We ended up leaving)

We banned Disney movies for years after Pocahontas about gave one of my kids a nervous breakdown. Not even in the theater! 

[Ting Tang]

Are people "higher up" than the teachers aware of the movie watching that is going on at this school?  Documentaries would be appropriate.  And books. 

[SanDiegoMom]

Disney movies were a struggle for my two youngest -- mainly my son.  He handles a lot of movies fine now (though both my kids need to know ahead what to expect) but I will never forget trying to watch Frozen in the movie theater and him, aged 7 or 8, running screaming out of the theater because Elsa and her sister were arguing.  Scary monsters he could handle, but interpersonal conflict was a no go. 

None of my kids can handle second hand embarrassment either.  

We have worked with them over the years to get them to watch more movies -- but we had to take it slow, set a day for watching them, give them reminders that it was going to happen, and the first few years tell them what the plot was and whether anyone would die in the end. 

My 16 year old took AP Environmental Science her sophomore year and it added to her struggle with anxiety for sure.  She piled "eco-depression" on top of her already existing anxiety about new school, social anxiety, and academic anxiety. It was a banner semester. 

[Terabith]

2 hours ago, Ting Tang said:

Are people "higher up" than the teachers aware of the movie watching that is going on at this school?  Documentaries would be appropriate.  And books. 

Oh yes.  Guidance counselors. Assistant principals.  It’s very well known.  I was told by administration that they weren’t allowed to teach anything, even incidentally, after state testing because of equity. 

[ktgrok]

Can I just say, good on you for recognizing this issue and honoring her feelings? I also struggled with this stuff, and I love tha tmy mom knew, and was careful about it with me. When I was a kid she took me to see Bambi because I begged to go - BUT - she found out ahead of time when Bambi's mother would die and took me to the bathroom during that part. I was at LEAST a teen if not an adult before I knew that Bambi's mother died, lol!

 

[NewIma]

4 hours ago, Terabith said:

Oh yes.  Guidance counselors. Assistant principals.  It’s very well known.  I was told by administration that they weren’t allowed to teach anything, even incidentally, after state testing because of equity. 

Do you have any further insight on what they mean by this? How is equity compromised  by learning after testing?

[Terabith]

11 hours ago, NewIma said:

Do you have any further insight on what they mean by this? How is equity compromised  by learning after testing?

I’m not really sure.  They seemed to imply that it wasn’t fair for some kids to learn more than what was covered in the standardized tests, since not every kid in the state would have the same opportunity.  

[vonfirmath]

11 minutes ago, Terabith said:

I’m not really sure.  They seemed to imply that it wasn’t fair for some kids to learn more than what was covered in the standardized tests, since not every kid in the state would have the same opportunity.  

Why not? Don't they test at teh same day all across the state?

I remember them saying this in 2020 because not everyone had Internet access. But by Auagust/September they had forged ahead with learning. It seems like if they are going to disallow teaching after the test, they should end the school year. Teaching and learning is why they are in the schools.

 

Edited December 23, 2022 by vonfirmath