Is always arriving early a sign of anxiety?

[MEmama]

10 hours ago, GracieJane said:

I think there is another level to this being-earlyness that bears considering:  it contains the quality of “fresh snow” experience. I like the first doctor’s appointment of the day, getting to the library when it opens, going to the empty Target with no cashier lines. Is that weird? I don’t know. The funny thing is that I’ve known some parents over many years (from school activities our children share) and they are always early, too, to every event, every year. So there is something very static in it; maybe not anxiety but temperament?

Definitely not weird. I think it’s just a personality type, if anything.

I prefer to go out first thing in the morning, too. It’s an efficient use of time and in covid times, it’s smart to keep away from excess people. In general I do not like to be around many people so it makes sense for me to go to the grocery when it’s quiet. We don’t have traffic to manage and most anywhere in town takes 10 minutes or less to get to so trip planning is easy. I’m an organized person, and being rushed or late makes me twitchy. I do notice that DS—whom I suspect has ADD— has trouble completing the small tasks required to get out the door in a timely manner; he is always struggling to make it somewhere on time.

My friend who is chronically late is disorganized and simply doesn’t manage her time well. She always arrives late and then spends 5 minutes arranging stuff in her car—texting, making a call, looking through her overstuffed calendar—while I wait. She doesn’t intend to be late, she just isn’t organized enough to be on time (and hates to be early). 

[Clemsondana]

I think it's person-dependent. I am usually somewhat early because I don't like having to drive quickly so I usually plan to arrive 5-10 minutes early and carry a book and if there's a slow-down I'm on time.  But, if things happen such that I"m a few minutes late, I offer apologies and it's not a crisis unless it's something where it truly matters, like a flight.  I have a relative who is very anxious around time - like, if I ask them to pick up my teen at ball practice at 6 they will allot twice as much time as it takes to get there and then also plan to arrive at 5:45, so that they actually get there at 5:20.  That feels anxious to me - like, allot some extra time for traffic, or plan to arrive early, but don't do both, and if you are a few minutes late teen is perfectly fine waiting.  I have also seen them get anxious about time when coming to watch the kids at sporting events - things like a baseball double header that will last for hours with people coming and going all day...it makes sense to be that way if you are an athlete or coach playing in the game, but for fans, it seems more like anxiety than a concern for puncutality.  

[marbel]

When I started reading this thread it didn't occur to me to think about social events, like a dinner party, until I saw someone else mention it. 

I would never ever show up early to someone's house. I arrive on time or within 5 minutes of the stated start time. I have been the host of things many times and it drove me crazy when people would arrive early (unless it was someone I'd asked to arrive early to help, of course). 

When I was in my 20s it was considered rude to arrive at someone's house earlier than 30 minutes after the stated time. I don't know if it was the crowd I ran with, the age group/type of events, or a regional thing. But I remember realizing that if I arrived on time the host was flustered and I was the only guest. I started asking people when they really wanted the event to start and adjusted my arrival time from on-time to fashionably late. It always seemed odd to me to tell people to come at, say, 7 when you really didn't want them till 7:30. 

[Janeway]

I do not believe it is a symptom of anxiety. I used to always be late for everything. Then I finally realized it was rude and have made a real effort to fix it. But, if being late for everything is not a sign of anxiety or such, then neither is being early. 

[KungFuPanda]

16 hours ago, MissLemon said:

I feel like there are a lot of people who aren't getting their needs met and don't know how to ask for what they need.  They settle in to niche groups where they vent about their self-diagnosis or virtual oppression because it's the only path they see to being validated. 

This one came across my path today. On what planet is it a pathology to tell a roundabout story? Or to go off-topic when your brain starts making connections? It’s like the person who wrote this never had a conversation with a child . . . or anyone. Isn’t this tendency WHY meetings need to have agendas?

 

edited to add the darn photo

Edited December 17, 2021 by KungFuPanda

[GracieJane]

15 hours ago, KungFuPanda said:

I think I’m hitting fatigue for the concept that every little thing you do is a symptom. If the party makes me tired and I need me-time I’m introverted. If I’m early I have anxiety. If I’m late I have ADD.  Only ______ people understand ______. And the second blank is filled with really common stuff. I feel a little bombarded lately with normal behaviors being called symptoms. Today’s was something like “that neuro divergent urge to get overwhelmed at the thought of having to feed yourself three times a day for the rest of your life.” Do people exist who never feel weary thinking about how many meals you have to produce in a lifetime? If those people exist, are they the ones doing most of the work?

I understand what you mean. FWIW, early-beingness seems more temperament-related to me than anxiety. 😉 

Economics says we get the behavior we reward, so I think there are some recent incentives to broadcasting infirmities, especially for women. 

[HS Mom in NC]

3 hours ago, Carrie12345 said:

And then I wait 45 minutes past my appointment time to see a doctor after arriving 15 minutes early, as required, for paperwork, and I’m like NOPE. Clocks please. Let’s all do what we say when we say we’ll do it, thank you! 😆 

That's a policy problem with your doctor.  In the PHX area it's common for there to be a sign at specialists' (and other practitioners' )offices on the reception desk that says, "If you arrive more than 10 minutes late for your appointment it will be cancelled and rescheduled for another day." They were at the neurologist, immunologist, and dermatologist, and at least another couple of specialist's offices that I frequented.  If you call and let them know from the traffic jam or your house when the sitter showed up late or whatever, they'll usually let you it in the waiting room and they try to work you in by the end of the day, but they sure as h3ll aren't going to make everyone else suffer because you were stuck in traffic due to no fault of your own.  It's not a misery loves company subculture.

That's why people resent late comers so much.  It's fine if it only affects the person being late, who cares?  But it can really stick it to people who are punctual and have to endure the consequences of choices or circumstances of others.

[Carrie12345]

3 minutes ago, HS Mom in NC said:

That's a policy problem with your doctor.  In the PHX area it's common for there to be a sign at specialists' (and other practitioners' )offices on the reception desk that says, "If you arrive more than 10 minutes late for your appointment it will be cancelled and rescheduled for another day." They were at the neurologist, immunologist, and dermatologist, and at least another couple of specialist's offices that I frequented.  If you call and let them know from the traffic jam or your house when the sitter showed up late or whatever, they'll usually let you it in the waiting room and they try to work you in by the end of the day, but they sure as h3ll aren't going to make everyone else suffer because you were stuck in traffic due to no fault of your own.  It's not a misery loves company subculture.

That's why people resent late comers so much.  It's fine if it only affects the person being late, who cares?  But it can really stick it to people who are punctual and have to endure the consequences of choices or circumstances of others.

I’ve never in my adult life had a doctor who has met me at my appointment time, even if granting time for the initial nurse interaction. Anywhere.

[theelfqueen]

Possibly a manifestation but not a symptom... I can see where someone with anxiety could feel the need to be early for things. But it's not indicative of having anxiety if you just have these habits. 

I have asthma, therefore I avoid being around smoking. But avoiding smoking is not a symptom of asthma. 

Edited December 17, 2021 by theelfqueen

[HS Mom in NC]

I usually arrive early to the area of a social event, but I wouldn't dream of going to the actual social event like a dinner party before the official start time. I've done a lot of hosting and know how intense it can be leading up to the start time. When my was on the guest list he would always called me about 30-40 min.  before the start time and ask if there was anything he could pick up from the store or if I needed him there early to help with anything before people arrived.  I usually didn't, but every now and then I did and it was a huge help. Obviously, he hosted a lot of things to, so he understood.

[HS Mom in NC]

3 hours ago, Carrie12345 said:

I’ve never in my adult life had a doctor who has met me at my appointment time, even if granting time for the initial nurse interaction. Anywhere.

Wow.  That's crazy. Maybe it's a regional/subcultural thing? 

There's the other sign I frequently saw that read, "If you haven't been seen 15 minutes after you appointment time, please notify the front desk." That's not at every office, but I would say I've been seen within 15 minutes of my appointments at least 60% of the time and within 30 minutes 80% of the time. 

My neurovascular surgeon here in NC  runs about an hour behind. I saw my regular doctor yesterday within 15 in. of my appointment.

Edited December 17, 2021 by HS Mom in NC

[Jean in Newcastle]

4 hours ago, Carrie12345 said:

I’ve heard comedians from multiple backgrounds talk about the cultural differences of time, and it’s almost appealing to me. The idea of less rush-rush and more relaxed enjoyment sounds nice.

And then I wait 45 minutes past my appointment time to see a doctor after arriving 15 minutes early, as required, for paperwork, and I’m like NOPE. Clocks please. Let’s all do what we say when we say we’ll do it, thank you! 😆 

My Filipino family all ask if a gathering is on “American time “ or “Filipino time”. (Yes, they are all Americans- it’s just how they put it). For doctor appointments etc they are on “American time “. For Thanksgiving, “Filipino time “. We know to expect to eat an hour or two late. 

[marbel]

RE: doctors running late. I agree this is often a problem with overscheduling or latecomers, but it can also be due to an emergency or to a routine exam that unexpectedly became more complicated. I generally allow extra time for waiting in medical offices and will offer to reschedule if I've waited a long time and my issue isn't urgent. Since I've had the benefit of a doctor/NP taking more than my allotted 15 minutes to deal with something unexpected, I've been more understanding of running-late doctors. 

[Jean in Newcastle]

13 minutes ago, marbel said:

RE: doctors running late. I agree this is often a problem with overscheduling or latecomers, but it can also be due to an emergency or to a routine exam that unexpectedly became more complicated. I generally allow extra time for waiting in medical offices and will offer to reschedule if I've waited a long time and my issue isn't urgent. Since I've had the benefit of a doctor/NP taking more than my allotted 15 minutes to deal with something unexpected, I've been more understanding of running-late doctors. 

I am always surprised when people on this board (not you) talk about doctors being up to an hour late.  Here a doctor might be up to ten minutes late but no more than that.  The one time when my doctor ran into a serious emergency, his nurse immediately came in to tell me that he was dealing with a medical emergency and would be late.  I was given the option to wait for him or to reschedule.  I chose to wait because I actually drive in from across the lake, but I could see someone who was taking time off of work and needing to get back, rescheduling instead. 

I know though that doctors here have used efficiency experts to help them streamline the process.  In fact, my PCP uses a medical scribe during the appointments so that he can give the patients his undivided attention and doesn't have to spend time charting.  He's not hurrying me out the door but he's also staying on schedule for everyone's benefit. 

Edited December 17, 2021 by Jean in Newcastle
grammar matters

[TechWife]

2 hours ago, HS Mom in NC said:

That's a policy problem with your doctor.  In the PHX area it's common for there to be a sign at specialists' (and other practitioners' )offices on the reception desk that says, "If you arrive more than 10 minutes late for your appointment it will be cancelled and rescheduled for another day." They were at the neurologist, immunologist, and dermatologist, and at least another couple of specialist's offices that I frequented.  If you call and let them know from the traffic jam or your house when the sitter showed up late or whatever, they'll usually let you it in the waiting room and they try to work you in by the end of the day, but they sure as h3ll aren't going to make everyone else suffer because you were stuck in traffic due to no fault of your own.  It's not a misery loves company subculture.

That's why people resent late comers so much.  It's fine if it only affects the person being late, who cares?  But it can really stick it to people who are punctual and have to endure the consequences of choices or circumstances of others.

These policy signs are common around here, too. It doesn't make a difference. If we are late, they cancel the appointment. However, they have no problem keeping patients that are on time in the waiting room for 45 minutes to 1 hour past the scheduled appointment time. That's after arriving 15 minutes early to fill out paper work that I already completed online. The patient runs late for any reason, too bad. The doctor runs late for any reason - well, they are very important and have other things to do. These are practices that have on-call rotations with the on-call doc doing the sick visits and hospital rounds. I have no problem running over with scheduled patients - I've been that patient that needed the extra time. But, when it's  a habit and all of the docs do it, it's office culture. They need to address it by changing their scheduling practices. Yes, this can be done. I've seen practices do it.

Earlier this year I had someone tell me to arrive thirty minutes before the scheduled appointment time to do paperwork. I just told her I wouldn't be doing that because I need to make good use of my time. She then admitted all of the paperwork was online & that I'd already completed it as part of the appointment request. I arrived ten minutes early, they handed me a clip board full of paper, which handed right back to them telling them I'd already done the paperwork. Not a problem with the front office staff at all. My MRI was started at the scheduled time.

 

[TechWife]

2 hours ago, HS Mom in NC said:

Wow.  That's crazy. Maybe it's a regional/subcultural thing? 

There's the other sign I frequently saw that read, "If you haven't been seen 15 minutes after you appointment time, please notify the front desk." That's not at every office, but I would say I've been seen within 15 minutes of my appointments at least 60% of the time and within 30 minutes 80% of the time. 

My cerebrovascular surgeon here in NC  runs about an hour behind. I saw my regular doctor yesterday within 15 in. of my appointment.

That is a lot of wait time - that means only 40% of your appointments run on time. That's a heck of a lot of wasted time.

FWIW, I started thinking about this years ago when I realized the hourly rates that tech companies were getting for consulting services. Time in waiting rooms can result in a loss of hundreds of dollars per hour for a company. Someone who has a lot of MD appointments for any reason (think routine pregnancy) is losing a lot of money for themselves if they are independent, or for their companies if they are not. It's not unprofessional to expect promptness when you're playing with someone's livelihood.

Edited December 17, 2021 by TechWife

[TechWife]

2 hours ago, HS Mom in NC said:

My cerebrovascular surgeon here in NC  runs about an hour behind. I saw my regular doctor yesterday within 15 in. of my appointment.

That's a crazy amount of time. Do they cancel your appointment if you show up late?

 

[Catwoman]

3 hours ago, HS Mom in NC said:

That's a policy problem with your doctor.  In the PHX area it's common for there to be a sign at specialists' (and other practitioners' )offices on the reception desk that says, "If you arrive more than 10 minutes late for your appointment it will be cancelled and rescheduled for another day." They were at the neurologist, immunologist, and dermatologist, and at least another couple of specialist's offices that I frequented.  If you call and let them know from the traffic jam or your house when the sitter showed up late or whatever, they'll usually let you it in the waiting room and they try to work you in by the end of the day, but they sure as h3ll aren't going to make everyone else suffer because you were stuck in traffic due to no fault of your own.  It's not a misery loves company subculture.

That's why people resent late comers so much.  It's fine if it only affects the person being late, who cares?  But it can really stick it to people who are punctual and have to endure the consequences of choices or circumstances of others.

Where I live, many doctors’ offices have the 10-minute policy, but they certainly don’t adhere to it themselves. I can’t be more than 10 minutes late… but they can make me wait for as long as they’d like, no matter how punctual I am. 

[Corraleno]

For those who say they always see their doctor within 15 minutes of the appointment time, do you mean you are actually sitting in an exam room, with your doctor in the room and speaking to you? I'm usually sitting in an exam room within 15-20 minutes of my appointment time, but I'm talking to an assistant who is asking me all the same questions I already answered online, taking my BP, etc. And then she leaves, saying "the doctor will be with your shortly" — and then I wait another 20-30 minutes for the actual doctor to show up.

[HS Mom in NC]

8 minutes ago, TechWife said:

That's a crazy amount of time. Do they cancel your appointment if you show up late?

 

No, they don't seem to do that here in this area, and not at that office. I arrived a week early once.  I wrote down the right day and time, but the wrong date.  (My appointments are 6 months apart.) They offered to fit me in at the end of the day if I could stay, even though it was my mistake.  I thanked them for the offer but refused.  My mistake, my problem, not theirs. 

[HS Mom in NC]

56 minutes ago, marbel said:

RE: doctors running late. I agree this is often a problem with overscheduling or latecomers, but it can also be due to an emergency or to a routine exam that unexpectedly became more complicated. I generally allow extra time for waiting in medical offices and will offer to reschedule if I've waited a long time and my issue isn't urgent. Since I've had the benefit of a doctor/NP taking more than my allotted 15 minutes to deal with something unexpected, I've been more understanding of running-late doctors. 

 

25 minutes ago, TechWife said:

These policy signs are common around here, too. It doesn't make a difference. If we are late, they cancel the appointment. However, they have no problem keeping patients that are on time in the waiting room for 45 minutes to 1 hour past the scheduled appointment time. That's after arriving 15 minutes early to fill out paper work that I already completed online. The patient runs late for any reason, too bad. The doctor runs late for any reason - well, they are very important and have other things to do. These are practices that have on-call rotations with the on-call doc doing the sick visits and hospital rounds. I have no problem running over with scheduled patients - I've been that patient that needed the extra time. But, when it's  a habit and all of the docs do it, it's office culture. They need to address it by changing their scheduling practices. Yes, this can be done. I've seen practices do it.

Earlier this year I had someone tell me to arrive thirty minutes before the scheduled appointment time to do paperwork. I just told her I wouldn't be doing that because I need to make good use of my time. She then admitted all of the paperwork was online & that I'd already completed it as part of the appointment request. I arrived ten minutes early, they handed me a clip board full of paper, which handed right back to them telling them I'd already done the paperwork. Not a problem with the front office staff at all. My MRI was started at the scheduled time.

 

 

20 minutes ago, TechWife said:

That is a lot of wait time - that means only 40% of your appointments run on time. That's a heck of a lot of wasted time.

FWIW, I started thinking about this years ago when I realized the hourly rates that tech companies were getting for consulting services. Time in waiting rooms can result in a loss of hundreds of dollars per hour for a company. Someone who has a lot of MD appointments for any reason (think routine pregnancy) is losing a lot of money for themselves if they are independent, or for their companies if they are not. It's not unprofessional to expect promptness when you're playing with someone's livelihood.

 

16 minutes ago, TechWife said:

That's a crazy amount of time. Do they cancel your appointment if you show up late?

 

 

6 minutes ago, Corraleno said:

For those who say they always see their doctor within 15 minutes of the appointment time, do you mean you are actually sitting in an exam room, with your doctor in the room and speaking to you? I'm usually sitting in an exam room within 15-20 minutes of my appointment time, but I'm talking to an assistant who is asking me all the same questions I already answered online, taking my BP, etc. And then she leaves, saying "the doctor will be with your shortly" — and then I wait another 20-30 minutes for the actual doctor to show up.

Yes, usually I see the doctor at a time strict office within 5-10 minutes of going into an exam room. Those doctors tend to be very efficient in asking questions and explaining things.

I think patients are better or worse depending on how conscientious they are with doctor's time during the exam.  I teach my kids to have questions at the ready and to think about communicating very clearly when answering questions. Be as precise as possible in descriptions of symptoms, time frames, a list of meds and dosages you're on by thinking about it and writing it down for quick reference BEFORE you leave the house for your appointment. Doctors and nurses need to be trained in efficient communication too.

We have to respect the doctor's time and the time of the patients who are scheduled after us as much as we expect the doctor and the patients scheduled before us to respect our time. Ever been a room next to hearing impaired Chatty Cathy/Charles yammering on full volume with irrelevant, meandering talk?  I have more than once. So we need to do a good job training our children to function appropriately in different environments.  Some personalities will read the efficient, very structured "just the facts ma'am" exam as somehow impersonal or rude, but chitter chatter is simply not appropriate from anyone in that situation unless the doctor has no other patients.

And when there are times a time strict office is running late, I try to remember that there are some things no one can control that will inevitably show up from time to time. Sometimes a patient's answers to questions leads to more and more questions in complicated, difficult to diagnose cases.  Some people need more explanation for their situations, which can take more time.  Sometimes patients hear answers from the doctor that lead to questions they couldn't possibly have prepared in advance.  So we have to avoid the all or nothing thinking that takes the form of: Not everything is predictable, so all parties involved are off the hook for being time conscious and everyone has to suck it up and expect it to be a huge time suck. 

[DreamerGirl]

7 hours ago, Carrie12345 said:

I’ve heard comedians from multiple backgrounds talk about the cultural differences of time, and it’s almost appealing to me. The idea of less rush-rush and more relaxed enjoyment sounds nice.

The thing is if you are hosting, "evening" is a suggestion of time to arrive. No time is usually given so people come in from 6pm to 8pm and the party carries on and the early comers tend to stay longer and the late comers do not want the party to end. So we have had parties that ran into the wee hours. It works when you are young and of a certain demographic age wise. But not intergenerational with older parents and/or children. We ran into this in our friend group when we were younger. Once everyone had kids and had parents visiting, "American time" became the norm. Everyone showed up on time, well not on the dot but 6pm means even 6:30pm is considered punctual for those who considered 8pm arrival acceptable. Especially for kids birthday parties. We used to dread hosting because while we loved having people over, the idea of stretchable time was not conducive. Now everyone shows up at/ around the stated time, we actually have times given and everyone goes home on time. 

7 hours ago, Carrie12345 said:

And then I wait 45 minutes past my appointment time to see a doctor after arriving 15 minutes early, as required, for paperwork, and I’m like NOPE. Clocks please. Let’s all do what we say when we say we’ll do it, thank you! 😆 

This is my experience with doctors. In fact, much of the doctors we go to have received poor marks for punctuality in their reviews while scoring high in others.  We sit in exam rooms for even 30-40 minutes.

Edited December 17, 2021 by DreamerGirl
Clarity

[Shoeless]

6 hours ago, KungFuPanda said:

This one came across my path today. On what planet is it a pathology to tell a roundabout story? Or to go off-topic when your brain starts making connections? It’s like the person who wrote this never had a conversation with a child . . . or anyone. Isn’t this tendency WHY meetings need to have agendas?

 

edited to add the darn photo

Verbosity is a sign of neurodivergence, cool cool cool.  Guess I am neurodivergent now.

[Jean in Newcastle]

1 hour ago, Corraleno said:

For those who say they always see their doctor within 15 minutes of the appointment time, do you mean you are actually sitting in an exam room, with your doctor in the room and speaking to you? I'm usually sitting in an exam room within 15-20 minutes of my appointment time, but I'm talking to an assistant who is asking me all the same questions I already answered online, taking my BP, etc. And then she leaves, saying "the doctor will be with your shortly" — and then I wait another 20-30 minutes for the actual doctor to show up.

I am in the exam room at the appointed time 99% of the time.  The PA takes my vitals (which obviously are not on any paperwork) and asks me clarifying questions about anything on my paperwork.  It takes five minutes max.  Then I barely have time to undress and sit down again before the doctor is in to talk to me (if it requires undressing of any kind). 

[Corraleno]

8 minutes ago, Jean in Newcastle said:

I am in the exam room at the appointed time 99% of the time.  The PA takes my vitals (which obviously are not on any paperwork) and asks me clarifying questions about anything on my paperwork.  It takes five minutes max.  Then I barely have time to undress and sit down again before the doctor is in to talk to me (if it requires undressing of any kind). 

I'm envious! I never get seen that quickly even if I'm just there for a routine flu shot with the nurse. 

[Tanaqui]

Doctors tend to run late because they're pressured by insurance to schedule patients closely together. In and out, in and out! But of course, no matter how hard you plan for visits to run exactly according to the strict schedule, no matter how hard you hope and wish that they will, your patients will take longer than that. They will have more to talk about than you scheduled for. The transition time for them will take longer.

You can't blame the doctors for this. Blame the unreasonable scheduling demands. If they gave everybody 10 minutes more, and gave themselves an extra 5 minutes between patients, there would be no backlog.

(Of course, to do this we *also* would need to loosen the unreasonably low cap on residencies in the USA, to allow more doctors per capita to train.)

[Ellie]

21 hours ago, HS Mom in NC said:

Why would that be the case?  I'm early without any history of anxiety and I won't now decide to start feeling anxious because someone asked a question about arriving early and anxiety on the internet.

Well, ok then. Just imagine that I didn't say anything or participate in this conversation at all.

[Laura Corin]

3 hours ago, Corraleno said:

For those who say they always see their doctor within 15 minutes of the appointment time, do you mean you are actually sitting in an exam room, with your doctor in the room and speaking to you? I'm usually sitting in an exam room within 15-20 minutes of my appointment time, but I'm talking to an assistant who is asking me all the same questions I already answered online, taking my BP, etc. And then she leaves, saying "the doctor will be with your shortly" — and then I wait another 20-30 minutes for the actual doctor to show up.

Wow, really? The doctor comes and finds me in the waiting room and takes me to their room. It's rarely more than ten minutes later than the appointment time.

[Shoeless]

9 hours ago, marbel said:

When I started reading this thread it didn't occur to me to think about social events, like a dinner party, until I saw someone else mention it. 

I would never ever show up early to someone's house. I arrive on time or within 5 minutes of the stated start time. I have been the host of things many times and it drove me crazy when people would arrive early (unless it was someone I'd asked to arrive early to help, of course). 

When I was in my 20s it was considered rude to arrive at someone's house earlier than 30 minutes after the stated time. I don't know if it was the crowd I ran with, the age group/type of events, or a regional thing. But I remember realizing that if I arrived on time the host was flustered and I was the only guest. I started asking people when they really wanted the event to start and adjusted my arrival time from on-time to fashionably late. It always seemed odd to me to tell people to come at, say, 7 when you really didn't want them till 7:30. 

My stepfather is someone that arrives bizarrely early to everything. It's a power move on his part; he knows the restaurant opens at 6pm, but he also knows they will let him in if he bangs on the door at 5pm. Then he struts around and brags about how he's a preferred and special customer that gets to eat before the restaurant even opens.

Edited December 17, 2021 by MissLemon

[Corraleno]

57 minutes ago, Laura Corin said:

Wow, really? The doctor comes and finds me in the waiting room and takes me to their room. It's rarely more than ten minutes later than the appointment time.

You know, I hadn't really thought about that but its true that when I lived in the UK it was always the doctor or midwife who came to the waiting room to fetch the patient and take them directly to the exam room. And IIRC each doctor had their own exam room, which is totally different to my experience in the US. As an adult I've always lived in major metro areas and my doctors have always been part of large practices with a dozen or more doctors plus several NPs/PAs and a whole host of assistants. So the standard procedure is an assistant comes to get you, takes you to be weighed, takes you to one of the many exam rooms in that part of the building (none of which are specifically assigned to any one doctor), they take your temperature/pulse/BP, and then they sit at the computer and ask a bunch of questions (that in most cases the patient has already answered), and then you wait for the doctor to eventually get around to you, because there are patients sitting in all the other exam rooms also waiting to see the doctor(s). It's much more of an assembly line here than what I experienced in the UK.

[Pawz4me]

58 minutes ago, Corraleno said:

So the standard procedure is an assistant comes to get you, takes you to be weighed, takes you to one of the many exam rooms in that part of the building (none of which are specifically assigned to any one doctor)

All of the providers we've ever used have had their own assigned exam rooms. For example, our PA has two exam rooms, one where she's actively seeing a patient and another where her next patient is being checked in by the medical assistant. It works the same way at my rheumy, at DH's oncologist, and is how it worked when the boys saw a pediatrician. But all of our providers are part of the same hospital/health system. I suppose different groups do it different ways.

[Jean in Newcastle]

47 minutes ago, Pawz4me said:

All of the providers we've ever used have had their own assigned exam rooms. For example, our PA has two exam rooms, one where she's actively seeing a patient and another where her next patient is being checked in by the medical assistant. It works the same way at my rheumy, at DH's oncologist, and is how it worked when the boys saw a pediatrician. But all of our providers are part of the same hospital/health system. I suppose different groups do it different ways.

Yeah, ours have the same assigned rooms. 

[Corraleno]

The practice I go to divides the staff into different groups, with each group having 2-4 doctors, a PA or NP, a nurse, several medical assistants, and a couple of office people. The exam rooms within each group are just tiny generic rooms on either side of a long hallway and they seem to just put people into whichever room is available. At least every time I'm there I seem to end up in a different room even though I see the same doctor. And there's almost always more than one patient waiting per doctor, because I've heard assistants bringing in other patients to see my doctor when I'm still waiting, and there've been times when I was told things like "sorry Dr. So-&-so is running late, she's got two more patients and then she'll be with you" — and that's after I've been waiting for a while, so there were at least 3 patients ahead of me when I was brought back to an exam room. That's been my experience with large practices pretty much everywhere, but maybe it's not as common as I think!

We've had mixed experiences with specialists. One orthopedist that DS saw was in a huge clinic and we were in a generic tiny room where the doctor spent about 3 minutes, but DS saw another ortho at a small private clinic, and that guy did have a specific exam room that was his because it was large and had a desk with medical books on it, specialized equipment, etc.  My dermatologist is in a private practice with one other doctor, and both doctors used all the rooms. I took an elderly relative to a huge ortho clinic and they actually had a whole row of "dressing rooms" with curtains that pulled across, just like a department store, and you put on a gown there, left your clothes in the changing room, and then walked down the hall to a row of a tiny exam rooms for treatment (in this case, cortisone shots).

In the UK, each doctor seemed to have his or her own office/exam room; the rooms were quite large, there was a desk with the doctor's personal books and equipment there, and it was obvious that the computer in each room "belonged" to the doctor who was using it, versus just being a terminal attached to the wall that everyone who used that room logged into.

Every time I'm kept waiting for ages I get mad and think I should find another (smaller) practice that won't waste my time so much, but this one is like 3 minutes from my house, they do lab draws and X-rays on site, and I've never had a single problem with them for billing or insurance, so I never follow through on that threat, lol.

[Dmmetler]

On 12/16/2021 at 4:13 PM, Arcadia said:

For me it is (1) cultural as in it is bad manners to be late unless you are the matriarch or patriarch, (2) high frequency of traffic jams dictate that we are usually early or risk being late to events. 
My husband tends to be late. However some SAT, ACT and AP test centers will not tolerate late comers and so test takers would have to miss the test if they are not there by the time stipulated.  So my kids would make sure my husband leave our home early to drive them to the test center with time to spare.

one of the most terrifying things for me was when L took the SAT in Nov 2020-the last possible date to get upgraded scores for a specific scholarship, and, due to COVID, they did not open the doors until maybe 15 minutes before the "if you are not here you will be locked out" time-and were screening kids one at a time to enter. It didn't seem possible that they would get them  all in in that time slot, but they did. Several latecomers did get locked out, though. 

[Clarita]

On 12/17/2021 at 3:23 AM, Carrie12345 said:

I’ve heard comedians from multiple backgrounds talk about the cultural differences of time, and it’s almost appealing to me. The idea of less rush-rush and more relaxed enjoyment sounds nice.

I love this. I feel like in my family when we plan a party or get together we slate the whole day for it. Yes I say lunch but we are happy if you stay for dinner. I think it's less stress all around; no one has to get all the food out, we aren't waiting for the person that ends up being super late. As the host, I like that I don't have to be a slave to the schedule; I can enjoy the company of my guests instead of looking at the clock and go "Oh it's present/dessert/dinner time!" As a guest I like being able to chip in to making the event happen, putting the food out, setting the activity out, etc. 

For a long time people showing up early to events I'm hosting would offend me unless they come in and help. I learned to deal with the fact that people do that. My in-laws thought have learned not to show up early and show up 1-5 min late if they don't want to help. My MIL will show up early to help though but we discuss that ahead of time.

[JennyD]

One of my dear friends always arrives early and she is one of the least anxious people I know.  She just likes to get where she's going early.  If she is ever late (which almost never happens) I know that something is seriously wrong.

As others have said, there's so much cultural stuff around time.  I was once in a car with a friend from a famously punctual culture; unfortunately, we got stuck in traffic and it became increasingly clear that we were going to be slightly late.  Hoo boy.  Now THAT was some anxiety.  As soon as the traffic broke she just zoomed off, tearing through the streets,  with me fruitlessly chirping, "It's okay!  Really, it doesn't matter if we're a little late!"

 

Edited December 19, 2021 by JennyD

[LucyStoner]

I’ve known people for whom it seems to be linked to anxiety.  My sibling starts to panic if he thinks he’s late and he considers arriving less than 5 minutes early to be the same thing as being late.  

I've also known people who are just organized and don’t run late and it doesn’t seem to be any thing like it is with my sibling.