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2021 Year in Review - Day 4


Granny_Weatherwax
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Does getting through the year with my sense of humour intact count as an achievement?  It has  been a trying year as far as family health goes - both Covid and other serious health-related issues and I am the carer, motivator and keep-it-all-together-er.

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1 minute ago, Granny_Weatherwax said:

Overcoming my mental obstacles and finally (after 4 years) finishing a professional certification and then going on to complete a second (related) certificate. Now, if I can take the next step and actually use those certifications, I'll be happy.

Well done and congratulations on achieving your certification!  

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Two accomplishments:

The first, becoming......comfortable on the violin. 😄 I will not say I am proficient or good or anything else.  But I am comfortable playing and reading music. 

Writing a children's book.  It started out as an assignment for a class but it became a way for me to chronicle the pandemic's effects on kids and leaving it for 20 years down the line for us to look back on what happened.  I'm not publishing it, but my kids have the file.

 

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Being alive at the end of it. 

(It wasn't, objectively speaking, as bad as the two preceding years, but it was a very flat year. I did many things but nothing I'd call an achievement.)

Probably the closest thing to an achievement was the poetry workshops I ran for school during lockdown. Some of the kids got really into poetry, and many of them enjoyed our weekly Zoom readings. 

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Graduating our son (homeschooled entire life), and having him go to college and thrive there. He has a lot of As and a couple of nearly As depending on final grades. 

I have a sort of small one, too. Packing our house and helping pack our daughter's apartment and my MIL's house and nothing getting broken in the moves. 

Edited by mom31257
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Graduating from my sonography program and getting a job in the field.  It meant so much more than just an accomplishment. 

My life was really at the bottom of the barrel - the future looked like a barren, lonely landscape. When my youngest told me that I had to stop joking about moving to college with her and "get my own life,"  I began to see how empty my life had become and how much any community I had was tied to my kids.   I had a lot of anticipatory grief of my youngest child going to college.  My long-time friendships did not survive K's illness.  Nor did my extended family ties nor the ties to my church community.  Hunky engineer man is a quiet person who doesn't need or crave as much connection as I do.   Having this goal, this purpose literally saved my life.  

 

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Biggest accomplishment of 2021 ...

[scan scan scan scan]

I have a number of not-big accomplishments to choose from.

How about ... getting my work inbox down from several thousand to under 50 emails?  While it doesn't sound very interesting, it is a great thing for my brain, since it means a lot less of the mental clutter that causes stress for me.

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This question has really thrown me  – I’ve done a lot in the last year, but have I really accomplished anything?  There’s no “big achievement” to note down.  Nothing really tangible or measurable.  As Regentrude says, “just doing the normal”.

But, at the same time, at times during the year, doing the normal took SO much energy – physically to recover from Covid and emotionally to stay positive and hopeful.  It is been particularly draining to carry the emotional burdens of my loved ones through some scary medical diagnoses and disappointing life experiences.

Should I be disappointed in myself for not achieving something big, or is it OK in this phase of life to do what it takes to keep strong relationships going and create a supportive family unit and be there for my extended family?  Should I be thinking of big goals for myself for next year, or is the goal of supporting those who need me 'enough'?

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I think I missed a day, are those threads still up @Granny_Weatherwaxor do you embed them with the new day? Never mind, I found it.

Running our business without help and not fully losing my mind.  I should say our minds as DH and I share a brain between us, Gorgon-style.  That and recognizing that my need to be outdoors for hours almost every day was an important step - the accomplishment was carving out time for it.

Edited by Eos
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I have increased my proficiency in painting with watercolor to a degree that I’m proud of, all while working FT and learning a tremendous amount about law. Not bad for 50yo.

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1 hour ago, Hannah said:

is the goal of supporting those who need me 'enough'?

Yes, yes it is.

Your post made me realize that through the year's disappointments and struggles I was there for my family, as I always have been. But 2020/2021 made that harder. 

My kids ended up doing most of their college at home - they had gone to CC for the first two years, and then had only one normal semester of college-away-from-home - Covid hit during their second semester away. They loved school and had looked forward to a lot of opportunities - travel for one, internships for the other. All gone because of Covid. 

Of course that story is not unique to them - I'm sure many folks here experienced the same or similar, and much much worse. 

During their semesters at home, their dad was unemployed (not due to Covid, from before that) and starting to despair of finding work again. Covid disruptions didn't help. I was (and still am) working an unsatisfying stressful job but I can work completely at home, no commute, just log in and work. 

Through the disruptions, I was the one calling on my people to pray, to buck up, to keep moving forward the best they could. I nodded in agreement when my husband pondered joining a volunteer group in the hopes of keeping skills up and making some connections. It took months, but it paid off and he became employed at a job he is loving. My kids are moving forward, though slowly. (They did not pick natural career-path majors.)

We ate decently, had clean clothes and a relatively clean comfortable house. Everyone had a shoulder to cry on and someone looking them in the eye and saying "yeah, you can do this." 

I didn't mean for this to get so long and I hope it doesn't sound self-aggrandizing. So many of you did all these same things and more! I'm just recognizing this as an accomplishment for the year. Because while much of it was same-old-thing, business as usual, the times were not.

Edited by marbel
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1 hour ago, Hannah said:

This question has really thrown me  – I’ve done a lot in the last year, but have I really accomplished anything?  There’s no “big achievement” to note down.  Nothing really tangible or measurable.  As Regentrude says, “just doing the normal”.

But, at the same time, at times during the year, doing the normal took SO much energy – physically to recover from Covid and emotionally to stay positive and hopeful.  It is been particularly draining to carry the emotional burdens of my loved ones through some scary medical diagnoses and disappointing life experiences.

Should I be disappointed in myself for not achieving something big, or is it OK in this phase of life to do what it takes to keep strong relationships going and create a supportive family unit and be there for my extended family?  Should I be thinking of big goals for myself for next year, or is the goal of supporting those who need me 'enough'?

These are really good questions.  I'm not certain you wanted a reply but...

Sometimes, I think surviving and maintaining the status quo is an accomplishment. Being able to say "I made it. I am still here. I am ready to take on another day." is the biggest accomplishment we can have. The days when everything seems to go backward are disappointing and energy consuming so we have to celebrate the days we regain ground. We may end up in the same place we started but we held on.

I also think the definition of "big goals" is going to vary. What may seem simple to you is monumental for someone else and vice versa.

 

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surviving this fall. SO has had some things happen in the last few years that have affected both of us. We knew this fall would be tough emotionally and financially. We're in a good position to get through it okay. 

Back when I was married to my late ex, he had some similar situations that he did not handle well at all. It's part of what led to the ruin of our marriage. SO is so different than my ex, so I knew he'd be okay, but that protect-me-from-trauma part of my brain kicked in a few times this fall. I had to consciously remind myself that these two men are not comparable.  

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Losing 25 lbs after switching to a whole food plant based diet in May.

Successfully walking the tightrope of a relationship with my legally-an-adult-but-sooo-not-ready-for-adulting DD, who was in a very controlling relationship that she did not see clearly. She's finally seen the light, has broken up with him, and is in the process of moving back home, which is the best Christmas present I could have hoped for. (At least in theory — she is not an easy person to live with, so it may feel less like a gift in a few months, lol. But at least she's out of that toxic relationship and she trusted me enough to really listen to what I had to say.)

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Graduating my last kid and sending her off to community college, finishing 25 years of homeschooling, keeping my business going a 2nd year (and yes, it came in handy again due to dh unemployment).

And getting dh through prostate cancer diagnosis, removal surgery, and recovery, as well as another (blessedly short) bout of unemployment.

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