Do you ever get so disgusted by homeschoolers that public school starts to look good?

[Ruthie]

I have been homeschooling for 8 years. Since the beginning of their education. At first, no one was supportive. Now, all of my sibs will homeschool their kids. My parents now praise my decision to hs. I have converted several young moms. All this just to say, I am a hard core homeschooler. I believe in it and preach it.

 

BUT... since my kids have gotten older, I am so sick of homeschoolers. The good ones are few and far between. So many of them are petty, weak and incompetent. So many of them don't have good kids. I have homeschooled in 4 states. It was great when they were young, but it's as if the kids get older, all the good ones leave.

 

I am greiving cause honestly, public schoolers are looking really good to me now. At least when they jerks, it's not in the name of God.

 

Any advice for me?:(

[kalanamak]

 

Any advice for me?:(

 

Hang out here, and otherwise just row your own boat. Be "too busy" to go meet these people. If they are family, change the subject, or go help out in the kitchen. I've spent many an evening in the kitchen!

[CLHCO]

I'm sorry, I have no advice other than to wonder how you could have an experience so opposite to mine. The homeschoolers I know, especially those in the upper grades, are fantastic people. I know one or two exceptions, and that's even more my own critical judgment than necessarily their problem.

 

I admit, not much would make public school look good to me. I know some great kids in it, (and quite a few not-so-great), I'm just personally opposed to the system.

[Anne Rittenhouse]

I can tell you what happened to us. The families that we enjoyed got busy with activities that weren't for us. The times that we could get together became less and less. The number of planned activities from variouse organized groups became less age appropriate. The amount of time needed for study time increased. We all drifted appart. Social contact became very important for my preteen. He also needed very much to see that the requirements of homeschool study put down by his parents were not overbearing, his study requirements flew in the face of the few "unschooled" friends that he still had regular contact with on park days. The arguments about study requirements and the lack of regular appropriate social contacts, and the constant issue of religious affliation were too much for us. (We, at most, admitted to being no-practicing Catholics) We left the homeschool movement, he's now enrolled in a private european school and loving every minute.

If we return to the states before my son is finished with highschool, we will not be returning to the homeschool movement. We will beg, borrow, or go naked and get him into a private, non-religous school.

[abbeyej]

I'm sorry you're having such a tough time. I've been very lucky that even when there's someone or other out there to frustrate me, there are many, many more positive examples of home schoolers, friendships, parenting, etc. for me to look to...

[Daisy]

You sound like maybe you are a little hard on the folks around you and maybe yourself. You can make decisions on how best to homeschool your own children but you can't make decisions for other folks. I think it's a lot easier to just accept people the way they are. After 4 states and 8 years, is it possible you are a little burned out and your expectations of others, a little too high? I'm saying this gently. :grouphug:

 

I've met slacker homeschoolers and slacker public schoolers. I've met all types but I wouldn't lump any of them into a single group. I think most homeschoolers, if nothing else, feel passionately about how they are raising their children even if it doesn't look like the way you would do it.

[Starr]

It's most painful to watch the worst in human nature show up in the home school kids at church!!!

[Daisy]

Ha, I thought the worst in human nature showed up in the preacher's kid (of which I was one). :001_smile:

[tibbyl]

Remember that homeschoolers are just like everyone else, warts and all. Thus, the proportion of "jerks" among homeschoolers should be same as in general population. As for being jerk in name of a god, people probably would behave in same manner with or without religion, but they'd just justify it differently.

 

My family and I actually spent most of our homeschooling years isolated from other homeschoolers. My children's social interactions were with traditionally schooled children from activites, from our neighborhood, or through my adult friends.

 

It was only after we moved to a new area that I decided we should try to connect to the homeschooling community at large. Without delving into painful details, we had some of similar experiences that I'm guessing you had.

 

I changed my strategies for meeting other homeschoolers in an effort to locate those with whom we'd be more compatible. Although it took a few years, it paid off with some wonderful family friendships. PM me if you want details.

 

Ultimately though, my always-homeschooled younger children took the plunge to public high school and have not regretted it even though our (kids and myself) original intent was for them to complete high school at home. One of their primary reasons was to have a larger, more diverse group of peers. Still, most of their lasting social contacts were made through outside activities, not public school.

 

It does get much harder in high school years to find homeschooled teens with similar socialization needs, especially if one lives in a non-transient area where teens are likely to already have long established circle of friends.

[myfunnybunch]

Many people are petty, weak and incompetent. (And judgemental or unkind or greedy or dishonest or.....the list goes on.) You'll find petty, weak and incompetent parents (and teachers) in the public school system as well as those with high standards, creative spirits and strong minds. I'm not sure choice of one method of education over another has much to do with it in the end. People are people.

 

We often see what we expect to see. My advice, kindly given, is that you don't have to become bff's with everyone you meet, but you're more likely to connect with like-minded families if you're looking for positives.

 

Hang in there, and "row your own boat" as a previous poster said. One of the beauties of homeschooling is that we are not limited or defined by what others, homeschoolers or non, are doing and saying.

 

Cat

[SquirrellyMama]

It's most painful to watch the worst in human nature show up in the home school kids at church!!!

 

The worst in human nature shows up in all of us.

[Ria]

My experience, after 15 years of homeschooling, is that the number of homeschoolers around here who are committed to a quality education are few and far between, especially as the kids get older. I've taught in three different co-ops, and I'm not impressed. I think the kids have the potential to do well, but generally the parents didn't care about education - they just wanted their kids sheltered from the evils of the world. I'm sure that's not the case in many places, but it is common here. I've known way too many students who are years behind in math, science, and English. It's just sad.

 

We did put our boys in public school last year, and I'm glad we did. They are finally among other kids who care about their educations, and whose parents care about their educations. They are around kids who desire and expect to go on to college (almost unheard of in local homeschooling circles). Our public schools are excellent (some of the best in our state) so I know we are very lucky.

 

When I started homeschooling years ago I didn't know as many homeschoolers, but those I knew really cared about giving their kids an excellent education. I just don't see that anymore....those homeschoolers are very few and far between. It saddens me. I love these boards because so many of the moms here do care. I just wish I knew you guys in real life!

 

Ria

[Trivium Academy]

Be the change you want to see in the world.

 

Trite and possibly corny but really I think deciding to be different is both very inspiring and difficult at the same time. It's a lesson that your older kids can appreciate, hopefully. I have younger kids and I'm very protective our of time and who we spend time with. I guess I think I will loosen up a bit as they get older and choose their own friends.

 

I don't expect other hslers to homeschool they way we do. I don't expect them to validate my choices and decisions regarding my children, I respect their right to make their own decisions just as I want them to respect my right to do the same. Talking to another hsler shouldn't be a battle about how has the best method or who has the most behaved kids.

 

When I need help with a topic, I come here where I can get honest, unfiltered opinions from other hslers that share at least some of the same values I have and I can evaluate and consider their suggestions in my own way.

[Michele B]

Remember, the Church is a hospital for sick souls. I know I would not want anyone to look at me and and expect perfection or good all the time! I am sorry you are frustrated. Maybe it is a case of the "grass looking greener." PS has major problems: parents who don't care, kids who don't care. I think it is possible to find problems in any system. Take a deep breathe, find a different group, or maybe ask a local District Attorney to tell you what is going on in the bathrooms in middle school. My husband was an ADA, and he brought home horror stories!

[Jenny in Atl]

I have been homeschooling for 8 years. Since the beginning of their education. At first, no one was supportive. Now, all of my sibs will homeschool their kids. My parents now praise my decision to hs. I have converted several young moms. All this just to say, I am a hard core homeschooler. I believe in it and preach it.

 

BUT... since my kids have gotten older, I am so sick of homeschoolers. The good ones are few and far between. So many of them are petty, weak and incompetent. So many of them don't have good kids. I have homeschooled in 4 states. It was great when they were young, but it's as if the kids get older, all the good ones leave.

 

I am greiving cause honestly, public schoolers are looking really good to me now. At least when they jerks, it's not in the name of God.

 

Any advice for me?:(

 

This is why I no longer limit our "social" time and activities to just other homeschoolers. One must cast their net wide to find kindred souls.

[Chris in VA]

I'll vouch for that.

[G5052]

We are in a co-op now where we have a good number of like-minded folks, but I've been around enough to know that there are all kinds of homeschoolers. We've really cut back on everything else though. It just wasn't worth it to me to try to go on disorganized field trips and have my kids sit through co-op classes where they were the only ones that were prepared. It does seem hard to find homeschoolers of kids middle school and up who are expecting a lot of their children though. That wasn't an issue when my kids were younger, but it is for us now.

 

Frankly otherwise I'd just pull back from other homeschoolers and do my own thing. Public school in our area isn't that great for middle school and high school. The parents who expect more and can afford it send their older children to parochial and private schools here.

Edited December 2, 2008 by GVA

[Danestress]

I'm not saying that they are better than people who send their children to public school - I have great neighbors with nice kids, and none of them homeschool. But I am blessed by having a circle of homeschool acquaintances who are really lovely people, seem to be really devoted parents, and who have children that are, by and large, a pleasure to be around.

 

I imagine this is a matter of luck - just where you happen to live and who you happen to meet.

[Murphy101]

in general at times that I'm glad to bunker down in my home to homeschool, regardless of what education method those other parents choose.

 

Public school never looks good to me. Ever.

[iquilt]

I can understand the disgust as well as the wonderful company; we have both in our area. As classical homeschoolers we travel great distances to meet with other like-minded homeschoolers because we feel that is what is best for our family. There are a lot of homeschoolers who are nice enough but who don't share our ideals, and that is the beauty of homeschooling in my view. We take music classes at 2 different schools, one for homeschoolers and one for after public/private schoolers and we like both experiences. Only homeschooling for 2 years though, I hope to maintain a positive outlook for awhile :)

[Pamela H in Texas]

BUT... since my kids have gotten older, I am so sick of homeschoolers. The good ones are few and far between. So many of them are petty, weak and incompetent. So many of them don't have good kids. I have homeschooled in 4 states. It was great when they were young, but it's as if the kids get older, all the good ones leave.

 

This is my experience also. I only knew conscientious homeschoolers when my kids were little. I've only met one or two since the kids have been older. And the preteens and teens behave so BRATTY though our congregation DOES have some great young people. Seems they are the exception rather than the rule.

 

My advice though? It doesn't have anything to do with your homeschool so just keep trucking. Also, it is ALWAYS more pleasant for you and everyone else to look for the positive in a person, family, situation than to notice the shortfalls. If you TRY to look for them, you'll find them and the problems won't be SOOOOOOOOOO bothersome (but it probably will still be bothersome to some degree....then you're back at worrying about your own person and family).

[Ruthie]

Thanks, everyone, for the encouragment.

I am still feeling down. I am normally a very non-confrontational person. Growing up, I was bullied (racism) like you wouldn't believe. I tend to ignore until provoked beyond endurance, then I attack with my weapon of choice which is my mouth. As an adult, I am working on this cause it obviously doesn't work, but at this point, I want to verbally rip apart some people. Some people think about hurting bullies physically, I dream about what I would say to them to humiliate and destroy them :glare:.

 

I am going to have to find other people to hang out with, but the choices don't exist. I just feel sad for my kids. But I won't let others pick on or mistreat my kids just because they don't know how to their job as adults.

 

I wish I could write more, but I am always so afraid someone I know is reading these things! How do you guys get over that?!

 

Thanks again.

Ruthie

[dymphna57]

I have had good and bad experiences with other homeschoolers. I love it when I meet families with greater educational fervor than we manage. I get discouraged by others negative approach to history and science.:confused: I guess it is natural to expect that you will have more in common with homeschoolers than public schoolers but I agree that it doesn't seem to work out that way.

I am wary of making commitments with other homeschoolers as I just don't want to put the fam through anything we could do without. They seem to be surviving in a world of limited contact. I am not sure I would have survived continued contact on a limited level with some families.

So, I hear you. I am not sure if we would even have much time for the great families we do know . :grouphug:

[Ria]

I wish I could write more, but I am always so afraid someone I know is reading these things! How do you guys get over that?!

 

 

Well, if you don't use specific names of people or places, no one will really know who or where you are. There are a lot of Ruthie's in the world (I personally know two, and don't worry, they aren't you!). Lots of people on the boards use a name other than their given name (me included...Ria is a nickname).

 

Ria

[Laura K (NC)]

It's hard enough managing my own kids.

 

I know good homeschoolers and good public schoolers. I know irritating homeschoolers and downright frightening public schoolers. In the end, I'm responsible for only my own kids' success. While it's good to have compadres to share the journey with, I don't think it's essential.

 

And here, I have some great compadres. There's so much to be said for homeschooling. I get discouraged sometimes when great people put their kids in public school in high school, so that the pool of available activities dwindles for my own boys as they get older. Sometimes the dwindling of activities, especially sports, gets me discouraged and makes me consider public school for high school for a few of my kids. But the grass is ALWAYS greener on the other side. If I had my kids in public school, I'd be longing for the green, green grass of home, the freedom to teach my kids what I want them to learn (in other words, teaching them history and logic and rhetoric and literature -- hallmarks of a classical education). Homeschool is hard work that ultimately falls on ourselves. Dang, though. It is so worth it.

[Parrothead]

Thanks, everyone, for the encouragment.

I am still feeling down. I am normally a very non-confrontational person. Growing up, I was bullied (racism) like you wouldn't believe. I tend to ignore until provoked beyond endurance, then I attack with my weapon of choice which is my mouth. As an adult, I am working on this cause it obviously doesn't work, but at this point, I want to verbally rip apart some people. Some people think about hurting bullies physically, I dream about what I would say to them to humiliate and destroy them :glare:.

 

I am going to have to find other people to hang out with, but the choices don't exist. I just feel sad for my kids. But I won't let others pick on or mistreat my kids just because they don't know how to their job as adults.

 

I wish I could write more, but I am always so afraid someone I know is reading these things! How do you guys get over that?!

 

Thanks again.

Ruthie

:grouphug: Hang in there!

 

As for someone I know reading these boards, I say what I'd say IRL. I may not use real names though.

[A home for their hearts]

Many people are petty, weak and incompetent. (And judgemental or unkind or greedy or dishonest or.....the list goes on.) You'll find petty, weak and incompetent parents (and teachers) in the public school system as well as those with high standards, creative spirits and strong minds. I'm not sure choice of one method of education over another has much to do with it in the end. People are people.

 

We often see what we expect to see. My advice, kindly given, is that you don't have to become bff's with everyone you meet, but you're more likely to connect with like-minded families if you're looking for positives.

 

Hang in there, and "row your own boat" as a previous poster said. One of the beauties of homeschooling is that we are not limited or defined by what others, homeschoolers or non, are doing and saying.

 

Cat

 

:iagree: Well said! I find myself in the boat some might think of as a slacker but for my situation right now I'm doing the best I can. I struggle with not comparing myself to others whose dc are 8 yrs old and reading at a high school level. I'm always trying to tell myself you are doing the best you can and your dc will turn out just fine.

 

And I always think one should "Walk a mile in another man's moccasins before you criticize him"

:001_smile:

[Joanne]

I spend 6 hours a day in public schools, with public school kids, parents, teachers, administration, custodians and bus drivers. Before this job (which I've had before as a homeschooler), I had public school kids in my daycare after school, summers and vacations.

 

Add to that the fact that 2 of my 6 students are public school refugees (and one former as well).

 

I'm posting this so you know I am not a mom who is out of touch with public school realities.

 

And while I get disgusted at the aspects of the homeschooling community, public school does not look better to me. It's likely I "get disgusted" at different issues in the homeschooling community than you might be referring to. My personal experience and reality is that I have not met or been tangently aware of an academic homeschooling failure. I didn't believe they existed in prevalence for a long time, until posters I respect greatly started sharing their anecdotals. I have yet to see it here, however.

 

Some truths about institutional educational settings:

 

1) A lot of behavior flies under the radar out of necessity. While they adopt "zero tolerance" policies, simple bullying and manipulation goes under responded to because of the adult to child ratio.

 

2) Old-school "kids will be kids" attitudes still prevail. This makes for continuing social complexities for kids who are less physically able, less attractive, less monied.

 

3) Brawn is still respected over brains. Sports ability is still revered to the nth degree.

 

4) The attitude (at least in the conservative suburb of Houston I live in) that assumes expert in child rearing is rampant. Even the bus drivers (my DH is one, so I am not just pulling this stuff out of a hat) notices that employees in the system believe they have greater wisdom over YOUR kids than you do.

 

5) A more politically liberal perspective is what is taught (even here in conservative Texas). This is especially so in terms of history, environment, social studies.

 

6) My YMCA kids' homework each day is boring, dry, and not what I would classify as rich educationally.

 

7) The amount of time public schooled kids have to hurry up to wait, in line, with still bodies and quiet mouths, is unatural and, well, scary.

 

Yesterday, I worked at the same school for my am shift as I did for my pm shift. The same kids that came to me at 6:30 am were there at 6:00 pm (or more). This is just one example of the kinds of at risk issues presented; lack of ability on the parents part to structure peer group.

 

Now I have to get my son from his outsourced math class. ;)

[Ellie]

Candygram: There are jerks in all walks of life. I'm on the board of a nonprofit children's group (not a homeschool group), most of the members of which are public school students. The artistic director has been searching for years for someone to be the executive director. She has been told by several of her prospects that they won't be involved in children's groups because of the parents; she has also been told that burnout is common among executive directors of children's groups for the same reason.

 

The grass is always greener; sometimes you just don't realize that it's green because of the sewage underneath.:glare:

[Ellie]

I wish I could write more, but I am always so afraid someone I know is reading these things! How do you guys get over that?

I am always careful about what I say on *any* discussion forum, for that very reason. But it's good practice, lol. We really should only say things publicly that don't come back to bite us, amen? I've had that experience IRL, and it isn't pretty.

[swellmomma]

Never. My kids spent time in ps and will never again if I can help it. I get disgusted over all with parents in general. I am in a bit of a different situation, because I delay early academics, but as the kids approach upper elementary get more hardcore into it. In my area the vast majority of hser's I meet are unschoolers, so to them I am too rigid, at the same time when life gets in the way of us doing the academics to the degree I want (such as a new baby or right now with doing flyers during the day until I get another nighttime paper route), it's nice to know they are not judging me for scaling back our academics to the basics. Even when we are accomplishing all the goals I make academically, we are still no where near the level of many parents on here, I work to my children's abilities which will not be the same as your child's abilities. As for behaviour of the kids, I have been on the otherside as the parent judged for her unruly kids. It is not because of a lack of parenting or discipline that they act the way they do, I have been judged when they were in ps, hsed, church, even as preschoolers with coffee at friends places. As a result of all the judgements myself and the kids have no social outlets left. Not all kids are unruly because the parents don't care to raise them properly, maybe see the whole dynamic of the situation before casting sweeping judgements. As an escape to avoid homeschooling families you don't mesh with public school is not the answer.

[PiCO]

I'm sorry, I have no advice other than to wonder how you could have an experience so opposite to mine. The homeschoolers I know, especially those in the upper grades, are fantastic people. I know one or two exceptions, and that's even more my own critical judgment than necessarily their problem.

 

 

I'm with you, Cheryl- maybe Ruthie should move to Colorado.

[laughing lioness]

My dh and I see more and more technological intelligence and less and less relational intelligence. I do believe that much of it stems from a post-modern pov: I'll hear what I want, redefine what I don't and in the end get mine.

I committed to homeschooling despite it having been a lonely road for us. Joanne's post touches the tip or the iceberg regarding the unnatural and plastic environment that government schools create.

I am sorry you are struggling and I can relate.:grouphug: You are not alone!

[AnnetteB]

Nope. I really do enjoy educating the children at home. We don't belong to a homeschool group and don't have time for it. Just like any group of people we won't all agree on style, methods, priorities, scheduling, philosophy, etc. We left the Methodist church years ago because they frown on large families among other reasons. Our children were admired and appreciated, but there was always the suggestion that they should be salt in the public schools(and fewer of them). My reaction to pressure is to quietly withdraw. I am stubborn, though, and our commitment to the children keeps me on course.

[Jenny in Florida]

. . . I certainly have had my moments when I gaze longingly at the uniforms of some of the kids here in private schools.

 

I, personally, have found being an academically-oriented, secular, homeschooling parent of highly gifted kids to be a pretty lonely path. We basically don't fit in anywhere. And, yes, much as I loved some of our homeschooling friends, there were more days than I care to admit when I was embarassed to be counted in those groups.

 

What seems to work best for us is not to rely on homeschoolers for activities and social time. Instead, we began enrolling our kids in interest-based groups and classes that were not homeschool specific. We've found, on the whole, that these activities more reliably offer higher quality and more consistent experiences. So, my daughter joined the local anthropological society and sang with two choirs and took drama classes and did lots of community theatre. My son takes dance classes and sings with a choir and belongs to a model rocket club. It works to keep them busy and happy without relying on homeschoolers. It's the best bet for us.

 

Obviously, it's not like I dislike homeschoolers in general. However, it does seem to be true that, espcially as kids get older and there are fewer homeschoolers their age around, the percentage of folks with whom we might be compatible drops dramatically.

[Peela]

Mix more with "normal" people?

As my kids have now become teens, I have become more discriminating. I realised that we were spending a lot of time trying to "fit in" with far right wing fundamentalist Christians so that they could socialise- as time has gone on, I just dont feel to compromise that much any more. Scouts has become a good percentage of my kids' social life. Both kids attend Scouting activities most weekends, some weeknights, part of every holidays- I no longer feel the need to compromise and spend time with homeschoolers just because they are homeschoolers, if their values are SO different from mine. But there is a rich network in my city, so I have plenty of choice.

My kids have several homeschooling friends in Scouts too- and the local gymnastic class they attend.

I don't tend to feel homeschoolers have changed- our needs have changed and the kids have become good at managing their own social lives as they have got older.

[Karenciavo]

I guess we're blessed here in southern NJ too; many, many of the older homeschooled students are fantastic. Not knowing how you define petty, weak, and incompetent we may not see things the same way.

[Catherine]

My eldest left hs last year for good but honestly I'm not yet convinced it has been the right decision for him academically. His social contacts are all schooled kids, college-bound, and though I do understand that anti-intellectual, negative social school influences are out there, I see less of that here than I think is common.

 

OP, I would also encourage you to look into academic organizations like CTY. My ds met his closest friends there, "kindred spirits" he calls them. It's not perfect, and as others have pointed out, there are negative social influences everywhere, but for my ds it has been a wonderful outlet.

[Karenciavo]

We did put our boys in public school last year, and I'm glad we did. They are finally among other kids who care about their educations, and whose parents care about their educations. They are around kids who desire and expect to go on to college (almost unheard of in local homeschooling circles). Our public schools are excellent (some of the best in our state) so I know we are very lucky.

 

I don't mean to hijack the thread (perhaps I should make one of those S/O threads :D), but I must ask a question because I'm curious. My older two have many friends schooled in various ways. More than 1/2 of their friends are really bright, again public, private, home schooled. Their really bright public and private schooled students are nice and fun, but they are not the ones they discuss humanism vs nihilism with, or whether or not Jefferson "walked his talk" (2 conversations recently over heard in the car.) Those conversations happen with their home schooled friends. Their outside-the-home-schooled-friends *may* very well have something to add, but they don't because they much rather talk about entertainment (usually.) Even less specific topics such as, "I had this really cool proof in geometry the other day. What interesting things have you learned lately?" are met with rolled eyes (playful, not disrespectful), laughs (playful, teasing kind), and, "Please, I don't want to talk about that," attitudes. Again, I'm talking about kids who at the top of their class in a school system that is tops in the state (Moorestown, Haddonfield) in a state (NJ) that is at the top of the nation's rankings.

 

We all have rather small pools to gather evidence from, but I wonder at your statement. I would love for you or anyone else for that matter to comment. I guess my question is, outside of class, in the midst of friendship and life, do you see evidence of wanting to be educated as opposed to getting good grades to get into college. Just curious. :001_smile:

[homeschoolmomtutu]

I thought there was an alternate universe for a second...lol...interesting there are two same thread starters!

http://www.welltrainedmind.com/forums/showthread.php?t=70046

 

Just curious how this happens...is it a hiccup with this system? I have seen it before and wondered?:001_huh:

[Ria]

We all have rather small pools to gather evidence from, but I wonder at your statement. I would love for you or anyone else for that matter to comment. I guess my question is, outside of class, in the midst of friendship and life, do you see evidence of wanting to be educated as opposed to getting good grades to get into college. Just curious.

 

 

In homeschooling circles I saw one girl who really wanted to learn for learning's sake (she's now at Johns Hopkins majoring in Latin or classics or something like that); this is out of 15 years of homeschooling, and two different "academic" homeschool high school co-op/programs. The others, especially the group I worked with last year, couldn't write a decent paragraph, had zero study skills, and thought school was a joke (at the same time they'd talk about how kids in public school were so far behind them...it was just pathetic how mislead they were). These were typical kids for this area...homeschoolers seriously lacking in basic academic skills and knowledge and for whom school was just something you had to get through. I can't tell you how many girls I've heard say that they just want to get married and have kids as soon as they graduate from high school. Many have done just that. The kids who go to college and manage to remain in college are few.

 

I see more of a difference in my boys' public school friends. Granted, many of them are completely uninterested in education per se, but there are more of them who seem to care than in the homeschool circles. My 9th grader is in all honors classes, and he has a fair number of friends who, like him, enjoy learning and want to learn more. My older son, 11th grade, has friends with whom he discusses all sorts of things; it drives him crazy when kids his age are unaware of political, social, and global concerns, so he gravitates towards ones who can carry on (spirited!) discussions with him. The point is, he can find kids able to do this at the public school, and no one last year in the homeschoolling group even knew what he was talking about...and they didn't care.

 

The upperclass homeschoolers here make me sad, and somewhat angry. To me, these kids would be much better off in school. I don't see how their parents are doing them any favors by neglecting their educations. For pete's sake, by 10th grade a child should be able to write an essay...these kids could not write a paragraph. I gave them a biology test (Apologia Marine Bio) - dumbed down - and they all failed. All of them. I kid you not. I also taught English, and I was stunned at the level of work...think 5th or 6th grade and you'll get the idea. The parents were worse...when I tried to teach how to write a 5-paragraph essay I got nasty emails and phone calls complaining that I expected too much. Augh!

 

It sounds as though you are surrounded by much more academic-minded parents, and it's making a difference in their kids. In our area, homeschooling is more of a fundamentalist escape from the big bad world, not something one does because they value education. I never fit in.

 

Ria

[Karenciavo]

It sounds as though you are surrounded by much more academic-minded parents, and it's making a difference in their kids. In our area, homeschooling is more of a fundamentalist escape from the big bad world, not something one does because they value education. I never fit in.

 

Thank you Ria. I'm sending you a PM because I'd let to make a comment, but I don't want it misconstrued by anyone.

[PariSarah]

Too funny.

 

In our area, it's the public schools where the girls are all dropping out to have babies, few people go on to college, and the high schoolers can barely read and write.

 

And the homeschoolers are, in general, academically-minded and college-bound, though sometimes lacking in execution and self-discipline.

 

Now, just a few miles down the road is a city (may whose basketball team perish in a blaze of mediocrity and self-doubt) where all the professors and MDs live. THERE, I could imagine exactly what you're saying. The public schools are pretty darn good, and I could totally imagine a little clan of insular, anti-intellectuals homeschooling to keep their kids away from those teachers wearing Obama pins on their lapels.

 

Not here, though!

[Ria]

Well, Sarah, I think I should move to Durham. Heck, my sister lives there....

 

LOL.

 

Ria

[PariSarah]

Well, Sarah, I think I should move to Durham. Heck, my sister lives there....

 

 

ParTAY!!!

 

:party::party::party:

 

(Oh, well. A girl can dream!):D:D

[OnTheBrink]

I have been homeschooling for 8 years. Since the beginning of their education. At first, no one was supportive. Now, all of my sibs will homeschool their kids. My parents now praise my decision to hs. I have converted several young moms. All this just to say, I am a hard core homeschooler. I believe in it and preach it.

 

BUT... since my kids have gotten older, I am so sick of homeschoolers. The good ones are few and far between. So many of them are petty, weak and incompetent. So many of them don't have good kids. I have homeschooled in 4 states. It was great when they were young, but it's as if the kids get older, all the good ones leave.

 

I am greiving cause honestly, public schoolers are looking really good to me now. At least when they jerks, it's not in the name of God.

 

Any advice for me?:(

 

So, you're saying because you've met homeschoolers who don't meet your standards (whatever those may be) you're considering putting your children in public school? That makes no sense to me. How does the behavior of other homeschoolers affect your decision to homeschool? I guess I'm not seeing the connection.

 

I couldn't care less what others do. My decision to homeschool is based on what's best for my dd, not whether others are "jerks in the name of God" (and what does that even have to do with homeschooling?) or not.

[Ria]

The next time I'm down there we'll have to get together! (And I promise I won't hug you...touchy-feely stuff creeps you out, right? See, I have a good memory!)

 

:001_smile:

 

Ria

[Melanie]

No, other homeschoolers have never made public school look good to me. However, other homeschoolers have made homeschool co-ops look like something to be avoided at all costs. We left our support group because it was nothing but an endless string of "park days" and we couldn't get anyone interested in more academic activities. (Plus the drama was beyond ridiculous.) We will not sign up for the local co-op because the academic standards are ridiculously low; I could not in good conscience give my children credit upon completion of any of the classes.

 

So we're on our own. Luckily we prefer it that way. ;)

[Highereducation]

I couldn't care less what others do. My decision to homeschool is based on what's best for my dd, not whether others are "jerks in the name of God" (and what does that even have to do with homeschooling?) or not.

 

Respectfully snipped.

 

I couldn't agree with you more. At the risk of sounding selfish, my concern as far as homeschooling goes starts and ends with my dd and her education. She is a very bright child, but left to her own devices in a large classroom, she would completely turn off unless she was constantly challenged. The ability to tailor a program in order to directly address her strengths and weaknesses is what sold me on homeschooling.

 

I also don't care for the bullying, pecking orders and general pettiness that go on in public school - and no, I don't feel that going through those experiences helps a child to become "a better person" or "toughens him or her up." As a Christian, I teach my dd to treat other people the way she would have herself treated. That wouldn't get her anywhere in public school, except made to be a doormat for the spoiled, mannerless brats that seem to populate the public schools in this area.

 

Never, never, never would I consider putting my dd in public school. Many of my own classmates have become public school teachers - people I have knowledge of being involved in drug use, excessive partying and questionable morals. Why on earth would I want people like that influencing my child? Absolutely not.

Edited December 3, 2008 by Highereducation

[Murphy101]

other homeschoolers have made homeschool co-ops look like something to be avoided at all costs.

 

amen to that.

I'd love to put my oldest in some sort of academic coop next year (9th grade) for one or two classes, but I seriously fear that it'll undermine everything I've taught him about the level and quality of work I expect of him. I so do not need that.