how large of a gathering would you host in your home?

[caedmyn]

My mom, sister, and I are planning a birthday party for my dad.  The plan is to host it in my house, which is big (3300 sq ft), but the list of people who say they'll be coming is growing and I'm wondering at what point it becomes more practical to host it somewhere else, like at our church.  There's about 30 people coming so far (plus the 8 in my family), and potentially 10 or 12 more.  Somewhere between 12 & 15 will be kids/teens, not counting my 6.  We have a big family room but no furniture in it, and our main level is super loud due to tile floors.

Also, if anyone has tips on managing a gathering like this I'm all ears.  I am a strong introvert and lots of noise and chaos bothers me so I'm not entirely looking forward to this.

[PeachyDoodle]

We host up to 40 twice a year (Easter and Thanksgiving). That's a little different since it centers on a large potluck meal, so not quite the same as a party. But it goes just fine. We set up extra tables in our living room if need be, in addition to the dining room and kitchen tables. We usually have to move everyone to the garage for the blessing and then route back into the kitchen for serving food, though, lol.

It's much easier if the weather is decent and we can make use of our large deck and yard, especially for the kids. If you can designate a separate "hang-out" space for kids/teens, that might help.

[Ravin]

In a house that size, with a decent living area,  I'd be comfortable inviting 50 people. More, if the weather was likely to suit outdoor entertainment and you have a patio/yard to use as part of the party space.

[DawnM]

30 minutes ago, caedmyn said:

My mom, sister, and I are planning a birthday party for my dad.  The plan is to host it in my house, which is big (3300 sq ft), but the list of people who say they'll be coming is growing and I'm wondering at what point it becomes more practical to host it somewhere else, like at our church.  There's about 30 people coming so far (plus the 8 in my family), and potentially 10 or 12 more.  Somewhere between 12 & 15 will be kids/teens, not counting my 6.  We have a big family room but no furniture in it, and our main level is super loud due to tile floors.

Also, if anyone has tips on managing a gathering like this I'm all ears.  I am a strong introvert and lots of noise and chaos bothers me so I'm not entirely looking forward to this.

 

Why don't you have furniture in your family room?

Could you put several long folding tables and folding chairs in there for people to sit around?

Barring getting area rugs, I am not sure about the noise.

[regentrude]

In a large house like that, 50 people. I frequently host parties with 20-30 where everybody is just in kitchen+living room only. My larger parties have 40-50. I prepare a buffet. If you have enough seating, you can do real food that requires fork&knife; if it's standing only, just prep a spread of finger foods or one-utensil foods guests can eat up while standing & mingling.

What helps keep the chaos limited is to clearly label spaces where guests can put their dirty dishes (I have a tub in the sink with a big sign), their empty beverage containers (recycling box), etc. I do not walk around and clean up dishes during the party because that is unwelcoming; I deal with it when everybody has left.

I would prep the family room with some toys for the kids+teens to take themselves off to play and hang out. they will be happier away from the adults anyway.

Edited February 12, 2019 by regentrude

[sassenach]

We live in 1400 sqft and can host 40 if it’s not raining. We had 25 for the Super Bowl, which was tight because it was raining, but it was good fun. 

In my world, 50 in 3200sf should be fine. That is, as long as it’s not a sit down dinner. We could probably only do 15-20 sit down, and we’d have to move furniture. 

[regentrude]

2 minutes ago, Seasider too said:

OP, I think most people would be surprised how many guests they can entertain if they’re brave enough and willing to think through the logistics. 

This.

IME, the people with the best largest parties are not the people with the biggest houses.

[caedmyn]

17 minutes ago, DawnM said:

 

Why don't you have furniture in your family room?

Could you put several long folding tables and folding chairs in there for people to sit around?

Barring getting area rugs, I am not sure about the noise.

No furniture in the family room because I wanted it open for the kids to run around, and because if there were furniture they'd constantly be moving it around and climbing over the backs, which tends to ruin couches over time.

I could put folding tables down there but we could prob fit 2 folding tables in our eat in space, plus 10 or 12 folding chairs in the living room, so there would be a decent amount of seating.  We're only serving pizza and cake, on paper plates, and I'm going to try to enforce all kids eat upstairs only.  I'll probably put on a kids' movie in the family room because it will get too wild otherwise.  There's room for kids to play at the other end of the family room if they don't want to watch the movie.  I could maybe put a folding table down there if the teens want to play board games on it.

[KidsHappen]

My house is about the same size and it starts to feel pretty full when just the immediate family is all here which is currently about 15 people and two babies. I have had about 30 teenagers here for a birthday party but it was indoor/outdoor. For that many people I would be looking for another place. My dd just hosted a birthday party at a large air bnb. That was great because that opened up bedrooms for social spaces for smaller groups to quietly chat or children to play, it had two large living areas, a huge dining room plus the house was all clean and ready to go.

[SKL]

We have had 30 to 50 people at different times.  What we do is set up all the common 1st floor rooms so different groups can congregate in different areas.  Also set up one or two areas outside if the weather permits.  If practical we will also get the basement ready so people can go down and play pool or whatever if they want to.  It never really feels crowded since folks are spread out.

[HS Mom in NC]

I think having a floor plan that's more open is a bigger factor than square footage for hosting larger groups.  Mild weather helps too because the outdoors can absorb overflow.

[Lady Florida.]

I've had 25 (including us) in my 1800 sq. ft. house. It was crowded but it was all family so no one minded.

ETA It was a holiday meal so we had the added challenge of seating everyone. 

Edited February 12, 2019 by Lady Florida.

[KungFuPanda]

I’ve hosted 30 in a home less than 2000 sq feet. You just need to fill that empty room with tables and chairs. People just want to visit. They don’t care if the chairs match.

I was able to have that many people for a sit down dinner that went for hours in a 20ish x 18ish room. If your church has a social hall and kitchen that might make seating easier, but then you have to haul everything there. Either way you’ll make great memories. 🙂     

ETA: I don’t have an open plan. My house has distinct rooms. This is fine for large parties because people cluster in smaller groups at those. If everyone will fit for a toast/blowing out candles and you can create a good buffet flow, you don’t even need all the tables in one room. 

Edited February 12, 2019 by KungFuPanda

[MercyA]

From one introvert to another, have it at the church. SOOOOO much less stressful. I always have my parties at outside locations. Serve plenty of food and provide some games and all will be well. 😊No mess in your house, no stress about who is doing what where, easier set-up, easier clean-up.

[rebcoola]

We regularly host 50ish people for our community group.  That is mostly kids and gets loud but is fine otherwise we have 3 living areas and open the garage when its to yuck for outside play.  If it was all adults we could do 75+ I think.

[Ellie]

If the weather was nice, I could do 30 people, because there would be lots of back and forth between the house and the patio and yard and stuff. If it was winter and the weather was probably not going to be conducive to outdoor activities, then I'd be looking for an actual venue.

[PeterPan]

13 hours ago, caedmyn said:

My mom, sister, and I are planning a birthday party for my dad.  The plan is to host it in my house, which is big (3300 sq ft), but the list of people who say they'll be coming is growing and I'm wondering at what point it becomes more practical to host it somewhere else, like at our church.  There's about 30 people coming so far (plus the 8 in my family), and potentially 10 or 12 more.  Somewhere between 12 & 15 will be kids/teens, not counting my 6.  We have a big family room but no furniture in it, and our main level is super loud due to tile floors.

Also, if anyone has tips on managing a gathering like this I'm all ears.  I am a strong introvert and lots of noise and chaos bothers me so I'm not entirely looking forward to this.

I have hosted parties of 100+ people at my house, inside no problem, because we have large open spaces (great room, full basement). Well I say no problem, but with that many people keeping the house cool (body heat), etc. is an issue. If this is a winter/spring party, you're talking inside or raining, yes? In your case, I would utterly refuse to host the event and tell them to put it at the church. You're clearly not comfortable hosting this. When I host 30+ people I ALWAYS cater it or bring in food (bbq that comes with warming trays, etc.) and I ALWAYS have people helping. And my house is completely set up and company ready. You've just moved, aren't ready, don't need the stress, and are being imposed on. Tell them to have it at the church, which they can set up ahead of time and make adorable with streamers. Probably the people from the church will help clean up, attendance will be higher, parking will be adequate. 

Adding: Think about logistics. For 30+ people, you're going to need folding tables, chairs, more baths? Why would you do this at your house if the church is accessible and has all the stuff there and will let you do it there for free? We own folding tables and chairs, and for our bigger parties we rent extra. Like I said, in your case I would just do it at the church. Parties like this are a lot of work. Put your energy into making it special rather than just into surviving.

Edited February 12, 2019 by PeterPan

[PeterPan]

nt

Edited February 12, 2019 by PeterPan

[Arcadia]

Mine is a condo so we could host more than ten close friends and/or relatives who just sit anywhere (including the carpeted floor) to eat and chat. The clubhouse could house 50 people if we want to book it. 

My friend’s house is small with a big backyard. She can host lots of people in her big backyard as long as it’s not raining season here. Easily more than 50 and there is ample roadside parking for visitors near her home. 

Another friend’s house is small with a small backyard. She can host twenty guest comfortably with the kids (guest) congregating in her daughters’ rooms.

My introvert friends (including guys) “hide” in the kitchen and let their spouses do the entertaining.

[4everHis]

1,700 sq feet. We regularly host 25-30 with no outside stuff(winter/Michigan) no open floor plan, no usable basement. It's just what it is and this group likes to get together. If it were people I didn't know well? 10-15.

[Farrar]

I have hosted that many people and my house is not that big. It was clearly too crowded, but hey... as long as everyone is cool with that then I'm cool too.

[gardenmom5]

size of home - matters.  season - matters.  what you're doing - matters.

 

I have hosted sit down thanksgiving dinners for 30... not pleasant.  My limit of comfort is about 24.

for something more casual - even a buffet where you find a place to sit, with a plate on your lap- fine.  summer where we can go outside - great.

[katilac]

Girl, you're fine! I've had 60 people a few times in a considerably smaller house (maybe 1800 sq ft?) and 30-40 is nothing. I don't care for outside venues. The time is so limited, it's a pain to decorate, it's a pain to bring food, if they do the food it's not as good, they are expensive (well, your church might not be). The time limit is a big one for me, our family parties are usually quite long. 

What kind of food? What other spaces? Depending on the type of food and the other available spaces, I'd consider leaving that living room wide open! Maybe just some chairs. You have quite a few kids attending, and ime there are always a lot of adults standing and talking. 

• Use the patio/yard as well if at all possible. To encourage people, definitely have some chairs set up. We also put the drinks station outside, it saves space inside and the inevitable messy accident is outside. 
• Don't attempt a "dinner" that has everyone eating at the same time, people will naturally eat at varying times so you need fewer tables. 
• Have at least some foods that are easily eaten standing up (some people actually prefer this, they are talking and/or don't want to take a break and sit). In addition to the usual finder foods, stuff like jambalaya is pretty easy to manage standing and on the go. Have all of the food already cut into smaller portions as needed. This makes it easier to manage plus people like to try everything.  So strips rather than whole pieces of fried chicken, sausage pre-sliced, etc. Oh, I just saw that you're only having pizza and cake, but I'll leave this here anyway. I do recommend some snack foods as well if you're not planning on that, like chips, mixed nuts, brownies, cookies. People will expect that at a party and you will be astonished at how much pizza people can eat if it's the only thing available. 
• Around here, almost everyone owns those canvas folding camp chairs and it's no big deal to ask guests to bring chairs. You might ask some of the guests you're closer to if they have chairs they are willing to bring. 
• Area rugs will help with the noise, does your mom or sister have any they could lend? 
• Have some party games at the ready, like Pictionary or Reverse Charades. 

Have fun!

[katilac]

Seconding regentrude on clearly marking where to put dirty dishes, recyclables, and so on. We also make sure there are plenty of trash cans around, not just in one room. 

I like to set a timer on my phone so that I remember to walk around and take out full trash bags, make sure there are enough drinks and ice, and so on. 

[BusyMom5]

Some people just don't like hosting.  That's okay,  you can find an alternative place.  I think your house is plenty big for a 50 plus crowd.   Things I'd do:  designated kid space for goid and for visiting time.  I would have a kids table in the kitchen, and put the movie ir toys on in a room that adults will not be in- a bedroom, basement, bonus room, ect.  For the adults I would stage sn area for the cake ans set up tables and chairs.   If weather permits, you could have either kuds or adult seating outside, too.  

[gstharr]

With a slightly smaller house , I've hosted a hundred or so during the course of an evening. I rent 3-4 large round tables and 50 chairs. Using the backyard, and inside space.  All meals buffet or family style, drinks in ice chests.  Have not tried with a sit down meal.  Once, an unexpected storm forced everything inside. Just sat up the rentals inside . 

[caedmyn]

The party is Saturday so it will definitely be an indoor event.  DH doesn't want to change venues last minute so I'm stuck with it at our house.  We originally planned for 15ish guests, and I could handle that, but the guest list grew and DH invited another family also and it started seeming not-so-workable.  Also I have a bit of social anxiety at times which probably isn't helping.

Maybe I will just do one extra table, and kids can sit at the tables and adults can stand/sit in the LR.  I won't do extra cleaning other than vacuuming, picking up, and cleaning bathrooms, and the kids can do a lot of that.  I'll postpone my weekly mopping until after the party.  If I get too overwhelmed during the party I'll hide in my bedroom for a while.

[PeterPan]

You'll get through it! Bring in some extra help if you can (SILs, whomever) and make a plan and work the plan. Remember, you can shut doors you don't want people in and they'll probably respect them. Your plan to take quiet breaks sounds good. Also consider some brief mindfulness where you close your eyes and do a body scan and just say how each part is feeling. It will help calm you down and make you feel more focused. You've got this!