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Prayers and support for rough night and day and I need to vent


Teaching3bears
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My special needs teen sons had a rough night.  My oldest could not sleep last night and he laughed all night which woke up his brother.  His brother slept this morning but when he woke up his face was puffy and he is limping badly.  We went through this last summer.  He limped for a few weeks and then got over it but this seems worse and what if he broke his leg?  Nothing seems swollen but this normally hyperactive boy is really going slow and and avoiding using it though he was laughing for an hour when he first woke up.  My oldest has been laughing all morning really loudly which probably woke him up.  All the loud laughing is really getting to me.  I did not sleep last night and I am feeling very sad about the bad night and my son limping.  It's just hard to hear so much laughing.  I tried reading to them and they were laughing and then my oldest started to fall asleep so I brought him upstairs but he got hyper once he got there even though I was reading again and then he took off all his clothes three times till I gave up and brought him down.  My life is very difficult and doesn't make sense.  I sometimes wonder if there is some spiritual reason our lives are so bad and my children are suffering so much.  I feel like eating lots and lots of candy.  Homeschooling was going well and we were reading so much until last night.  I am thinking of getting my sons tested for drugs.  The weird laughing makes me feel like they have drugs in their system.  My oldest has been laughing like this since he was two and stopped talking.  I am not talking about real drugs because they are with me all the time just like babies because their special needs are so severe but I feel like it's almost like their bodies produce drugs.  I wonder if I could get them tested for drugs, both illegal and over the counter?  

I understand this post will not make much sense.  It is full of run-on sentences and I live a really really weird and surreal life and the post makes me come across as crazy but I am not and just needed to vent.

 

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7 minutes ago, Medicmom2.0 said:

It’s not drugs.  Don’t bother drug testing; you know they aren’t accessing drugs and people’s bodies don’t create drugs.  Especially if it’s been going on since he was 2.

It sounds like a seizure.  There is a type of seizure that presents as uncontrollable laughing, often high pitched and unusual.  I am sure your SN children have seen neurology and this is something I would bring up to a neurologist.  

I also have two special needs sons.  Life is...very difficult many days.  I hope you can find some answers.

It just looks like he's on drugs.  I did discuss it.  The neurologist did not think the laughing was seizures.

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When was the last time you got a solid six hours of sleep? When was the last time you were out with a friend for a couple of hours to relax? When was your last date with your dh?

Your post does not come across to me as crazy and surreal.  Your posts makes me think you are very tired, very lonely, and looking for some hope that things are rooted in some physical problem that is going to get better. 

I'm sorry things are so rough right now.  I hope you get some good sleep soon.

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Just sending gentle hugs as I have no advice.  That sounds extremely challenging.  Is it possible that the laughter is related to pain if his leg is hurting?  It could Invoke a different than expected response.  Is it possible for you to have some respite care occasionally and get some quiet time for yourself.

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2 hours ago, Teaching3bears said:

My special needs teen sons had a rough night.  My oldest could not sleep last night and he laughed all night which woke up his brother.  His brother slept this morning but when he woke up his face was puffy and he is limping badly.  

Fibromyalgia? https://www.verywellhealth.com/morning-symptoms-of-fibromyalgia-716013

Also, maybe they are experiencing some form of this: https://www.verywellhealth.com/allodynia-definition-and-types-fibromyalgia-715929

My mom gets allodynia in her feet--she's been through just about every kind of socks known to mankind. Some start out okay, but then as they get washed, the fabric changes, and they irritate her.

I am sorry that your life doesn't make sense right now. It did make me think of this song (there is more to it at the link), and I am praying that you will feel held:

Quote

Well, sometimes my life just don't make sense at all
When the mountains look so big,
And my faith just seems so small 

So hold me Jesus,
Cause I'm shaking like a leaf 
You have been King of my glory 
Won't You be my Prince of Peace...

https://www.lyrics.com/lyric/965658/Rich+Mullins/Hold+Me+Jesus

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1 hour ago, Ausmumof3 said:

Just sending gentle hugs as I have no advice.  That sounds extremely challenging.  Is it possible that the laughter is related to pain if his leg is hurting?  It could Invoke a different than expected response.  Is it possible for you to have some respite care occasionally and get some quiet time for yourself.

Both boys were laughing.  The older boy was laughing the most and kept us up all night.  He was not the one with the hurt leg.  He fell asleep at around 2:00 this afternoon and now it is 6pm.  I don't know when he will wake up.

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4 hours ago, prairiewindmomma said:

When was the last time you got a solid six hours of sleep? When was the last time you were out with a friend for a couple of hours to relax? When was your last date with your dh?

Your post does not come across to me as crazy and surreal.  Your posts makes me think you are very tired, very lonely, and looking for some hope that things are rooted in some physical problem that is going to get better. 

I'm sorry things are so rough right now.  I hope you get some good sleep soon.

 

You wrote exactly what I was going to write.

Teachingbear, you need some respite. Everyone does. Even those with NT children need a break. It sounds like you are doing this 24/7 without any breaks and not even a break at night because of frequent interruptions. Do you work with a social worker, an agency, someone who can point you in the direction of obtaining respite care?

Of course you feel like you are coming across as crazy but those of us who have read many of your posts know that you seem to deal with this all by yourself and nobody could do this alone or with a dh. You are certainly not crazy but you need some rest. Both of you must be totally drained.

Edited by Liz CA
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Have they tried a mood stabilizing seizure med at all for your son?  The laughing and hyper sounds similar to mania.  Mine takes Risperdal (anti psychotic), Lamictal (seizure and mood med) and Lithium ( mood stabilizer).  It has helped so much.

I agree that you need some respite but I also know how hard that can be to come by.

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20 hours ago, Ottakee said:

Have they tried a mood stabilizing seizure med at all for your son?  The laughing and hyper sounds similar to mania.  Mine takes Risperdal (anti psychotic), Lamictal (seizure and mood med) and Lithium ( mood stabilizer).  It has helped so much.

I agree that you need some respite but I also know how hard that can be to come by.

Yes, these were my other thoughts...

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I'm glad he's feeling better today.

Investigating the laughter more, with videos and a new neurologist, might be worthwhile.

I wish I could offer help in person. You're carrying such a heavy load. Would school enrollment be an option, perhaps? It would at least get you a few hours daily to care for yourself. Your health is important. So many people depend on you.

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Hugs, Teaching3Bears. I hope you can find some help for your boys and for you. I'm sorry about the colds, illness doesn't help anything.

When I mentioned your health I was thinking in a more wholistic sense, though: more that so much stress has to be hard to deal with, and sometimes I find I need to put on my own oxygen mask first, kwim? And while I do have a dd on the spectrum, I'm not dealing with anything remotely like you are. So, you might need some stress relief too.

On 2/6/2019 at 3:46 PM, prairiewindmomma said:

When was the last time you got a solid six hours of sleep? When was the last time you were out with a friend for a couple of hours to relax? When was your last date with your dh?

Your post does not come across to me as crazy and surreal.  Your posts makes me think you are very tired, very lonely, and looking for some hope that things are rooted in some physical problem that is going to get better. 

I'm sorry things are so rough right now.  I hope you get some good sleep soon.

What prairiewindmomma said, in other words.

More hugs and best wishes.

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