Honestly, how do you handle this?

[Night Elf]

What happens if you pull into a parking space and hit a car, enough to leave a small dent? I was talking to ds who is a new driver and told him I really wasn't sure. I'm sure a lot of people just ignore it but then someone happens to notice a dent in their car and they get ticked off. However, if you leave your name and number on the windshield, you're open to phone abuse, aren't you? I don't know about other places but I don't live in an area with drivers who care about others. I'm constantly getting tailed, or someone will cut in front of me causing me to hit my brakes hard. It's annoying. Poor ds is having to learn to drive defensively. So far so good. So what do I tell him to do if he hits a car? FWIW, we did practice him parking between cars and he did perfectly each time so I don't think they'll be a problem. DH told him to avoid spaces that look small, like if each car is sitting on their line. It takes backing and filling to get into such a space and then you can't open your door! We told him it's better to walk a little farther to avoid any possible accidents.

[SquirrellyMama]

I would say to leave your email at the very least. You can always change that to help avoid abuse.

Around here I'd leave my name and number.

Kelly

[EmseB]

Take a picture of the damage, leave your name and email or phone number.

[Karen A]

I would take photos, and leave my name and number. I fortunately haven't ever had anyone harassing me on any issues, so that didn't cross my mind. (And RE the other thread, I also don't  ever think of needles being disposed of in garbage cans, and in the past regularly pushed down paper towels...!)

[marbel]

I hit a car in a parking lot once and left a little scratch on the door.  I took photos of it and left a note with my name and phone number.  I never heard from the person.

I think leaving an email address is a good way to do it.  But I wouldn't leave without leaving any sort of contact information.

[marbel]

5 minutes ago, Karen A said:

I would take photos, and leave my name and number. I fortunately haven't ever had anyone harassing me on any issues, so that didn't cross my mind. (And RE the other thread, I also don't  ever think of needles being disposed of in garbage cans, and in the past regularly pushed down paper towels...!)

What thread did this come up in?  🙂

[KungFuPanda]

Photograph the damage and leave contact information.  It can be email.  It can even be a phone number.  If someone gets abusive you can block them.

[AbcdeDooDah]

It is a hit and run if you leave and you're taking a chance that there are no cameras. The penalty would be higher than just taking care of the damage. Either wait for the other party, or leave contact information in a secure place.

[Night Elf]

I like the email address idea. I'll tell him that. I have a few dings in the car door I gave to him from people probably parking close and opening their doors too quickly. Not enough to bother me. I've never hit a parked car. I was just trying to think of scenarios he might find himself in. The other night he drove past the restaurant he was going to and ended up in a place he didn't recognize. He called DH who left to find him. Then they went to the restaurant together. It was dark and raining and that was a bad combination for a new driver. We were surprised he even wanted to try! Tonight we went to Subway and he pulled in between the lines evenly so I might be worrying over nothing.

[Um_2_4]

I have a separate email I use for signing up for store mailing lists, etc. I still check it regularly, so I would use that one. Bonus, it does not reveal my name, etc. And my 1st name is so common, they would never find me LOL! I would be concerned with harassment here. My friend was harassed by a person who hit her (yes there were witnesses, and police sided with my friend, but didn't stop the harassment, till lawyer stepped in).

[unsinkable]

13 hours ago, Night Elf said:

What happens if you pull into a parking space and hit a car, enough to leave a small dent? I was talking to ds who is a new driver and told him I really wasn't sure. I'm sure a lot of people just ignore it but then someone happens to notice a dent in their car and they get ticked off. However, if you leave your name and number on the windshield, you're open to phone abuse, aren't you? I don't know about other places but I don't live in an area with drivers who care about others. I'm constantly getting tailed, or someone will cut in front of me causing me to hit my brakes hard. It's annoying. Poor ds is having to learn to drive defensively. So far so good. So what do I tell him to do if he hits a car? FWIW, we did practice him parking between cars and he did perfectly each time so I don't think they'll be a problem. DH told him to avoid spaces that look small, like if each car is sitting on their line. It takes backing and filling to get into such a space and then you can't open your door! We told him it's better to walk a little farther to avoid any possible accidents.

Are you saying that you wouldn't leave your phone number on a parked car that you damaged bc that person would then call you and harass you? Is that what you mean by phone abuse?

If you hit a car and damage it, you are responsible for that damage. So you have to acknowledge it and give the owner a way to contact you. My opinion is that if you leave your number and make it right with the owner of the car you damaged, the odds are very, very low that the person would continue to call you and subject you to "phone abuse."

If you'd rather leave an email, do that. But morally (IMO) you should not just leave and legally (in some places) you could get in trouble.

[unsinkable]

12 hours ago, HeighHo said:

There are rules that vary by state.  Here, one must leave a note with contact info.  Its also wise to take photos and get contact info from witnesses as well as notify one's insurance agent. There are fines if the police have to come find you.  Be aware that many parking lots have cameras. 

If a person is damaging your car in front of you, its best to walk away, and nonobviously take a photo of their car license plate and them while waiting for the police. I had this happen to me; never did get the story why the person was so stressed. I suspect she had just been fired.

when you take him over to meet your insurance agent, this is a good topic to discuss, as is the location of the cell phone while driving.

 

Yeah, this isn't a thing. Many insurance agents & providers do not even have an open office any more. But even if they do (have an office) it is not necessary for Beth to take her son there for him to meet the agent.

I do have an agent with an office and my kids have met her but it was just happenstance, not a formal introduction. And I don't think it her responsibility to talk to/teach my kids about where to leave their cell phones in the car.

[AngieC]

If you’re talking about hitting a car while it’s moving, take pictures and leave contact information. Door dings are a little more subjective. I’ve had dozens of door dings in my life and no one has ever left a note. My husband, on the other hand, has none, but he parks on the far end of every parking lot to avoid them.

[Night Elf]

1 hour ago, AngieC said:

If you’re talking about hitting a car while it’s moving, take pictures and leave contact information. Door dings are a little more subjective. I’ve had dozens of door dings in my life and no one has ever left a note. My husband, on the other hand, has none, but he parks on the far end of every parking lot to avoid them.

Yes, I meant door dings. If it was a serious dent, I told him he had to definitely either wait for the person to return to their car or put his name and number under the windshield then immediately call our insurance company. Maybe we can send pictures to them. I honestly don't know. I'm worried about him giving out his cell phone number though. That's why I like the email address idea. Although if the person becomes a problem, ds can block his number but that won't stop the person from calling from other phones. I told ds it's best to let the insurance company handle it though. Don't work directly with the person. I don't like the idea of just paying out of pocket for someone's car. 

[unsinkable]

3 minutes ago, Night Elf said:

Yes, I meant door dings. If it was a serious dent, I told him he had to definitely either wait for the person to return to their car or put his name and number under the windshield then immediately call our insurance company. Maybe we can send pictures to them. I honestly don't know. I'm worried about him giving out his cell phone number though. That's why I like the email address idea. Although if the person becomes a problem, ds can block his number but that won't stop the person from calling from other phones. I told ds it's best to let the insurance company handle it though. Don't work directly with the person. I don't like the idea of just paying out of pocket for someone's car. 

Your first sentence in your original post said, "What happens if you pull into a parking space and hit a car, enough to leave a small dent? I was talking to ds who is a new driver and told him I really wasn't sure. "

 That, to me, is not talking about door dings.

 

[AmandaVT]

Something similar happened to me on Halloween. I backed out of a parking spot and the truck next to me hadn't pulled in all the way, so I tapped his bumper before I realized that I had to use a different angle to back out. 

I took pictures. There was no damage to his car and a small scratch on my bumper. I took pictures anyway. Then I waited for 20 min in my car (this was at the grocery store, so I figured they'd be coming out soon, but no). After that, I wrote a note with my phone number and left it on his windshield. I also called our local non-emergency police number to let them know what happened. I did that just in case the guy decided to back his car into something and try to blame me for the damage. Someone did this to my mom a few years back. 

Within an hour, the guy called me and left me a message, thanking me for my note and agreeing that his truck had no damage. Then I called back our police station to let them know that everything was all set. They were happy I called back to close the loop. 

[Night Elf]

1 hour ago, unsinkable said:

Your first sentence in your original post said, "What happens if you pull into a parking space and hit a car, enough to leave a small dent? I was talking to ds who is a new driver and told him I really wasn't sure. "

 That, to me, is not talking about door dings.

 

I see that as a small dent. It's an area that is pushed in. That's a dent, isn't it?

[marbel]

Beth, do you know a lot of people who have been harassed when they've left their phone # after a parking lot incident?   I don't think you should spend a lot of time worrying about it. Most people have received and/or created door dings/dents at some time in their lives.  I'd be very surprised to see someone enraged about it to the point they are harassing someone who left their contact information.  

[unsinkable]

19 minutes ago, Night Elf said:

I see that as a small dent. It's an area that is pushed in. That's a dent, isn't it?

 

I'm really confused. Door dings, IME, usually happen when the cars are both parked and someone opens door and hits the car next him hard enough to make a noticable impact. It can be in the clearcoat, the paint, or in some cases, into the door itself. 

a door ding CAN be a dent, but it doesn't necessarily HAVE to be a dent.

But with that being said...this: "What happens if you pull into a parking space and hit a car, enough to leave a small dent? I was talking to ds who is a new driver and told him I really wasn't sure. "

 Does not sound like a door ding to me. It sounds like the damage was caused when one car was moving and the other, stationary. Also this sentence: "

So what do I tell him to do if he hits a car?"

Also does not sound like a door ding. It sounds like a car hitting another car while at least one car is moving.

Edited January 6, 2019 by unsinkable

[Guest]

My dd did this at a Starbucks. Because it was Starbucks (generally short-term), she waited to see if the car owner would come out, so she could discuss the problem in person. The car owner did come out and dd exchanged information with the other driver.

She was otherwise going to leave a note, though. 

[Guest]

1 hour ago, Night Elf said:

Yes, I meant door dings. If it was a serious dent, I told him he had to definitely either wait for the person to return to their car or put his name and number under the windshield then immediately call our insurance company. Maybe we can send pictures to them. I honestly don't know. I'm worried about him giving out his cell phone number though. That's why I like the email address idea. Although if the person becomes a problem, ds can block his number but that won't stop the person from calling from other phones. I told ds it's best to let the insurance company handle it though. Don't work directly with the person. I don't like the idea of just paying out of pocket for someone's car. 

Paying out of pocket for someone’s car is usually preferable, though, because your son causing the damage will affect your insurance rates. 

[unsinkable]

I just hope it is clear...hitting something while driving a car is not something from which you should just drive away, for all the reasons listed already in this thread.

And it should be drilled into new drivers' heads.

The kids in I Know What You Did Last Summer made the wrong choice. LOL

[goldberry]

I've never had anyone leave me a note about a door ding.  And I have plenty of them.  I've had my door touch another person's car, but never enough to leave a mark.  If I left a mark, I would probably wait or leave my info.

DH has a giant Expedition (which I despise) and I have made him move it because it ends up too close to other cars to get out of properly.   I taught DD when she was younger and when she learned to drive that you never just open your door without paying attention if you are going to hit someone else's door.

Obviously anything that your car hits other than your door touching another door is a car accident and you need to leave info.

[goldberry]

I had a friend whose door was caught by the wind and definitely left a mark on another car's door.  She took a picture and left her info. 

[Night Elf]

2 hours ago, unsinkable said:

 

I'm really confused. Door dings, IME, usually happen when the cars are both parked and someone opens door and hits the car next him hard enough to make a noticable impact. It can be in the clearcoat, the paint, or in some cases, into the door itself. 

a door ding CAN be a dent, but it doesn't necessarily HAVE to be a dent.

But with that being said...this: "What happens if you pull into a parking space and hit a car, enough to leave a small dent? I was talking to ds who is a new driver and told him I really wasn't sure. "

 Does not sound like a door ding to me. It sounds like the damage was caused when one car was moving and the other, stationary. Also this sentence: "

So what do I tell him to do if he hits a car?"

Also does not sound like a door ding. It sounds like a car hitting another car while at least one car is moving.

You are right. He would be moving. But I'm thinking it would only be a small dent or ding because he literally inches into the spot. He doesn't swing into it like an experienced driver. If he inched into a spot and tapped a car, he'd know it right away and back up. I have no idea what size dent that might leave considering how slow he is going. I'm just assuming it would leave a small dent which is why I used that description. But I'm not discerning between a few centimeters and an inch or something like that. I just meant a place in the car that got pushed in, not just a paint scratch.

As for phone abuse, I do not know of anyone who has been harrassed by phone except me by spammers who got my number from something idiotic I did. I spent days blocking calls. Now I only get one every 3-4 days and I just block it. I do not give out my cell number to just anyone. I was even hesitant to give it to my doctor's office. Ds has 4 numbers in his phone: me, DH, and both siblings. He knows to contact me or DH first in case of trouble, oldest dd next. Younger dd couldn't provide him with any advice but I prefer they all know how to get in touch with each other in case of some type of emergency. So no one else has ds's cell phone number. He never gets spam calls. I just don't like the idea of him leaving his cell number on some random person's car. I guess that could be viewed as being paranoid but I really don't care how anyone else sees it. 🙂

[Night Elf]

2 hours ago, Quill said:

Paying out of pocket for someone’s car is usually preferable, though, because your son causing the damage will affect your insurance rates. 

I've personally known someone who did that and it turned out really badly. The person wanted more money than the damage was worth. He wouldn't show the assessment of the damage. He was just quoting how much he thought it was worth. I'd rather deal with insurance hikes than stupid people like that. 

[Catwoman]

15 minutes ago, Night Elf said:

You are right. He would be moving. But I'm thinking it would only be a small dent or ding because he literally inches into the spot. He doesn't swing into it like an experienced driver. If he inched into a spot and tapped a car, he'd know it right away and back up. I have no idea what size dent that might leave considering how slow he is going. I'm just assuming it would leave a small dent which is why I used that description. But I'm not discerning between a few centimeters and an inch or something like that. I just meant a place in the car that got pushed in, not just a paint scratch.

As for phone abuse, I do not know of anyone who has been harrassed by phone except me by spammers who got my number from something idiotic I did. I spent days blocking calls. Now I only get one every 3-4 days and I just block it. I do not give out my cell number to just anyone. I was even hesitant to give it to my doctor's office. Ds has 4 numbers in his phone: me, DH, and both siblings. He knows to contact me or DH first in case of trouble, oldest dd next. Younger dd couldn't provide him with any advice but I prefer they all know how to get in touch with each other in case of some type of emergency. So no one else has ds's cell phone number. He never gets spam calls. I just don't like the idea of him leaving his cell number on some random person's car. I guess that could be viewed as being paranoid but I really don't care how anyone else sees it. 🙂

 

It would probably be a dent rather than a ding, even if he inches slowly into the parking space because, let’s face it, cars are heavy, and a slight tap from a moving car is going to do a lot more damage than accidentally opening the door too hard and leaving a little ding in the door of the car next to you.

Honestly, I’m surprised that, as an experienced driver, you didn’t already know that if you accidentally damage someone else’s property, you’re responsible for the repair, so leaving a note with your contact information is non-negotiable.

Once you damage someone else’s property, it doesn’t really matter if you are uncomfortable giving out your contact information, because it’s not about you any more. It’s about making things right with the person whose car you hit. They are the priority, and any anxiety you might have about leaving your contact information has to take a backseat to that. And I would think it is very rare that anyone would get harassed by someone over something like this. I think you are overreacting.

When I opened this thread and read your OP, I assumed your ds had probably tapped someone’s car when he was trying to park his car, and he’d panicked and driven away without leaving a note, and you were worried that he might get in trouble for it. If that had been the case, I would have said to tell him that he made a mistake and that if it ever happens again, he should leave a note, but that we all did some dopey things as new drivers, so he should learn a lesson from it and then not worry about it any more, because there is no way to contact the other driver at this point, anyway. I definitely would be focused on building his confidence and not making it into a big deal, especially if he is still at all anxious about driving.

[DawnM]

20 hours ago, Night Elf said:

What happens if you pull into a parking space and hit a car, enough to leave a small dent? I was talking to ds who is a new driver and told him I really wasn't sure. I'm sure a lot of people just ignore it but then someone happens to notice a dent in their car and they get ticked off. However, if you leave your name and number on the windshield, you're open to phone abuse, aren't you? I don't know about other places but I don't live in an area with drivers who care about others. I'm constantly getting tailed, or someone will cut in front of me causing me to hit my brakes hard. It's annoying. Poor ds is having to learn to drive defensively. So far so good. So what do I tell him to do if he hits a car? FWIW, we did practice him parking between cars and he did perfectly each time so I don't think they'll be a problem. DH told him to avoid spaces that look small, like if each car is sitting on their line. It takes backing and filling to get into such a space and then you can't open your door! We told him it's better to walk a little farther to avoid any possible accidents.

 

I just don't get why you post and ask opinions and then say you don't care what anyone else thinks.  I would be LIVID if someone dinged my car and didn't leave a note.  We take very good care of our cars and a ding can cost quite a bit to repair.  In fact, the kid at school who etched into my car is getting a $450 bill from me.  We had to chase down cameras and interview kids to find out who did it, but damnit, that is my CAR and he put $450 worth of damage on to it.

I am actually shocked that you think it is ok to just leave and not take responsibility.

I am not usually this direct, but this is really getting to me.

45 minutes ago, Night Elf said:

You are right. He would be moving. But I'm thinking it would only be a small dent or ding because he literally inches into the spot. He doesn't swing into it like an experienced driver. If he inched into a spot and tapped a car, he'd know it right away and back up. I have no idea what size dent that might leave considering how slow he is going. I'm just assuming it would leave a small dent which is why I used that description. But I'm not discerning between a few centimeters and an inch or something like that. I just meant a place in the car that got pushed in, not just a paint scratch.

As for phone abuse, I do not know of anyone who has been harrassed by phone except me by spammers who got my number from something idiotic I did. I spent days blocking calls. Now I only get one every 3-4 days and I just block it. I do not give out my cell number to just anyone. I was even hesitant to give it to my doctor's office. Ds has 4 numbers in his phone: me, DH, and both siblings. He knows to contact me or DH first in case of trouble, oldest dd next. Younger dd couldn't provide him with any advice but I prefer they all know how to get in touch with each other in case of some type of emergency. So no one else has ds's cell phone number. He never gets spam calls. I just don't like the idea of him leaving his cell number on some random person's car. I guess that could be viewed as being paranoid but I really don't care how anyone else sees it. 🙂

 

Then you need to put a JAWM in the title.

42 minutes ago, Night Elf said:

I've personally known someone who did that and it turned out really badly. The person wanted more money than the damage was worth. He wouldn't show the assessment of the damage. He was just quoting how much he thought it was worth. I'd rather deal with insurance hikes than stupid people like that. 

 

So what?  It is still your responsibility.  Whether one experience turned out badly or not is irrelevant.

[unsinkable]

I want to add something that I found out to do when paying outright for damage caused to another car rather than going through insurance.

I'll look for the exact phras ing if anyone wants it but basically once an amount is mutually agreed upon by both parties, and you make your payment, have the person sign a document that says like: 

"I, (name) accept this cash/check (name which one) in the amount of $XXXX.XX for damage incurred on January 6, 2019 on my 1958 Plymouth Fury as full and final payment."

[Catwoman]

1 minute ago, Plum Crazy said:

I took the kids to an Imagine Dragons concert in their home town, so they had a lot of family and friends in the audience. The lead singer told a story about his mom bumping into someone's car while pulling in and left her name and phone number. The owner recognized his mom's name and asked for tickets to the concert instead of worrying about the repair or insurance. So he gave him tickets and called him out in the audience. I would be embarrassed asking for something like that. It's taking advantage. Some people are just shameless like that though and try to eek out whatever they can out of any situation. 

 

I’ll bet the singer’s mom was happy to give the guy the tickets instead of having to pay out of pocket for the damage, though!  🙂

[teachermom2834]

I would absolutely leave a note with a number. It’s just the right thing to do. Beyond that though (and here is my paranoia showing) I would feel more at risk for harassment if I did not. I would worry that there were cameras or someone saw or that somehow the victim would know it was me. And then they would be really angry I damaged their car and drove off. So I would be much more worried about that than leaving my contact info. Most people understand that mistakes happen and appreciate the person taking responsibility. I’ve never heard of someone enraged by someone offering to take responsibility. 

 

[Annie G]

If you damage someone’s property the right thing to do is take responsibility for it.  

[Just Kate]

I’m honestly surprised by this thread. I mean, I obviously know that people damage cars all the time and just drive off. When I was newly married and lived in an apartment complex, someone hit my car and caused a big dent. I never did find out who did it (and I was too poor to fix it). But it just seems like common sense that if you damage someone’s property, you offer to repair the damage. And I would consider a little ding with a car door to be damage as well (anything that leaves a mark). 

I don’t think it is fair to allow paranoia that someone may share your ds’s phone number to outweigh doing the right thing - which is owning up to any damage that your ds may cause to another vehicle while driving. 

[Lang Syne Boardie]

If a person is too paranoid to share their own number to deal with their own business, or if their parent has counseled them to be paranoid and selfish, there are alternatives. 

Tell your son to leave his dad's phone number.

Or the insurance agent's number.

Or your lawyer's number.

Or a non-identifying email address.

Or a PO box address for snail mail. Your victim will hate you but they already don't like you. At least they'll have someplace to start.

Whatever. Just give them some contact information, and take responsibility for damaging others' property! Of course! It's entitled and wrong not to, but it's also against the law in some states. It can be a hit and run, even if there are no injuries and the car is parked.

In 2010, Allstate's stats were that over 60% of vehicle accidents involve parked cars. That's too many incidents for the perpetrators to just walk away for their own convenience and comfort.

[happi duck]

This thread went sideways.

I'm not seeing the same disregard for others that some of you are upset about. 

The op admitted to being paranoid about leaving a phone number and I believe that is the only jawm component.  Leaving an email nowadays or an insurance agents number seems doable.  The "victim" might actually prefer not calling back a random number because of caller ID.

Door dings are a part of life.  In tight lots the doors just have to touch.  Dents from opening your door wide and fast, imo, are preventable damage.

 

[Catwoman]

6 minutes ago, happi duck said:

This thread went sideways.

I'm not seeing the same disregard for others that some of you are upset about. 

The op admitted to being paranoid about leaving a phone number and I believe that is the only jawm component.  Leaving an email nowadays or an insurance agents number seems doable.  The "victim" might actually prefer not calling back a random number because of caller ID.

Door dings are a part of life.  In tight lots the doors just have to touch.  Dents from opening your door wide and fast, imo, are preventable damage.

 

 

Well, she wasn’t talking about a simple little door ding, like when you open your door and it taps the car next to you. She was talking about actually hitting another car with your car as you slowly pull into a parking space. Those are definitely two different things.

Also, it did seem to some of us as though she might be prioritizing her own anxiety over her responsibility to leave her contact information for the owner of the damaged car, so I think that may be why people are sensing a certain disregard for the other person, whom she was afraid might harass her if she left her number in a note. I guess there is a very remote possibility that something like that could happen, but it seems highly unlikely, and certainly isn’t a reason for a person to drive away from a car she hit without accepting responsibility for repairing the damage. Anxiety isn’t an excuse for not doing the right thing. It might make it more difficult, but you still have to leave that note with your contact information.

[Stacia]

On 1/5/2019 at 8:34 PM, AbcdeDooDah said:

It is a hit and run if you leave and you're taking a chance that there are no cameras. The penalty would be higher than just taking care of the damage. Either wait for the other party, or leave contact information in a secure place.

 

On 1/5/2019 at 8:35 PM, HeighHo said:

There are rules that vary by state.  Here, one must leave a note with contact info.  Its also wise to take photos and get contact info from witnesses as well as notify one's insurance agent. There are fines if the police have to come find you.  Be aware that many parking lots have cameras. 

If a person is damaging your car in front of you, its best to walk away, and nonobviously take a photo of their car license plate and them while waiting for the police. I had this happen to me; never did get the story why the person was so stressed. I suspect she had just been fired.

when you take him over to meet your insurance agent, this is a good topic to discuss, as is the location of the cell phone while driving.

Do all of these. If there is a location where the owner likely is (say, you're in a grocery store parking lot so it's pretty sure the owner is in the store), have your ds go take the other car's description & license plate number & ask the store to page the person.

You know I live in the same state as you. My (ex) sil does too.

She did the same scenario you're mentioning. She's a nervous driver, bumped a car when parking, leaving a small dent/ding. She got out looked at it, freaked out, didn't know what to do & ended up leaving & going back home. There had been someone in the parking lot who saw what happened & wrote down her license plate number as she drove away. That witness waited until the owner of the car came out & then gave the car owner the info. The car owner called the police. The police called sil at home & said she had to return to the scene. (She lives in the next county over so they couldn't show up at her house, they needed her to come back.) She refused because she was really too nervous to drive at that point; her dh wouldn't drive her as he had a beer right before then & didn't want to get in trouble in that manner. The police got very nasty on the phone to them & it was a big argument. They had to agree that she would turn herself in at the police station the next day. She was charged with a hit & run. She was booked into jail & had to wait for hours in a holding cell while her dh did all the paperwork/bail stuff to get her out. She later had a court date assigned where she was ordered to pay a fine.

It is a big deal. Don't just drive away. Cover yourself with photos, leaving your contact info, etc. Make a strong & good faith effort to get in touch with the owner, witnesses, the police (if needed), & the insurance company (if needed). It might be nerve-wracking to deal with a peeved person but I would think it would be way more nerve-wracking to end up in jail for leaving the scene.

[Lizzie in Ma]

Photograph the damage and leave name and number

[marbel]

16 hours ago, Night Elf said:

<snip>

As for phone abuse, I do not know of anyone who has been harrassed by phone except me by spammers who got my number from something idiotic I did. I spent days blocking calls. Now I only get one every 3-4 days and I just block it. I do not give out my cell number to just anyone. I was even hesitant to give it to my doctor's office. Ds has 4 numbers in his phone: me, DH, and both siblings. He knows to contact me or DH first in case of trouble, oldest dd next. Younger dd couldn't provide him with any advice but I prefer they all know how to get in touch with each other in case of some type of emergency. So no one else has ds's cell phone number. He never gets spam calls. I just don't like the idea of him leaving his cell number on some random person's car. I guess that could be viewed as being paranoid but I really don't care how anyone else sees it. 🙂

Beth, I know you have a lot of anxiety and so this seems sensible to you.  I hope you can see from this thread that your level of fear over this is not reasonable and I hope you won't pass it on to your son.  Over his life he's going to have to give his phone number out. And if he hits someone's car in a parking lot, the owner of the car is not just "some random person" but a person your son now has a connection with.  

You know that if your son hits a car and the owner is there, there will be all sorts of information exchanged. You should show him where to find that information so he's prepared ahead of time. 

[sassenach]

3 hours ago, marbel said:

Beth, I know you have a lot of anxiety and so this seems sensible to you.  I hope you can see from this thread that your level of fear over this is not reasonable and I hope you won't pass it on to your son.  Over his life he's going to have to give his phone number out. And if he hits someone's car in a parking lot, the owner of the car is not just "some random person" but a person your son now has a connection with.  

You know that if your son hits a car and the owner is there, there will be all sorts of information exchanged. You should show him where to find that information so he's prepared ahead of time. 

 

Or in a bigger accident, you're exchanging license info, with your home address, etc. There's no reason to be afraid of exchanging information in these scenarios.

[SKL]

I would leave a note with my phone #.

So far nobody has ever given me a hard time.  Also whenever that happens to me (as the recipient of a small dent), I am happy they bothered and I never follow up on it.