Rant about HSLDA (JAWM)

[creekland]

even when we've traveled - say, when we're at my mom's for a week, no looks.

 

I've never had looks of any sort either - not from the grocery store, post office, Wally World, parks or anywhere.  When we've traveled we've often had many folks, esp park rangers, take my guys under their wings and show them special things.  They always made positive comments about how interested my guys were, and sometimes with how much they already knew.

 

If anyone thought negatively, they kept it - and their looks - to themselves.  I've never needed a card.  If I had, it'd have been like a diploma and I'd have made one myself.  The diplomas (high school grad) worked just fine.

[SparklyUnicorn]

You don't take your child(ren) into a store at 10 am and not get looks? Really? I get them ALL the time. To the point I have just got in the habit of telling check out ladies (and men) that I homeschool. They didn't care when my son was at that age where he may or may not be in school but now he is big. I get them ALL THE TIME. 

 

I am not one to notice either, unless it is everyone!

 

Nobody has ever given me a look.  Once in awhile someone will say...oh no school today and we say we homeschool and they say oh cool.  And that's the end of that.

 

On any given day a school might be off anyway.  So how would they know?

[Wheres Toto]

Oh and you know what?  The reason why the homeschool regs in NY are so borked up is BECAUSE of HSLDA.  They helped to draft them!! 

 

From what I've read, they almost managed to totally bork up those in NJ too.   

 

 

One thing that made me very, very happy was when I converted to entirely secular curriculum. Once I stopped purchasing anything from religious companies, the constant selling of my name to other groups ended. I began getting pretty much everything on Amazon - often marketplace sellers so I could get used books -  ebay, and ABE, and apparently they do not sell their customer lists to others. I did have to spend a year "unsubscribing" to emails as they came in or putting them on the block list so they would go directly to junk mail, but the angst ended.

 

It has been pleasant to be out of the loop on all of their sky is falling and legalistic stuff that kept coming in email or snail mail. 

 

This must be why I don't really hear about them very much.   No email or snail mail.

 

I was extremely surprised to find that our state-wide Facebook group and almost all of the established co-ops promote joining HSLDA.  A couple of them require joining to participate (I think the group that runs our convention does?).   New Jersey is super duper easy to homeschool.   The law is very clear and easy to read.  It's rare to hear about anyone having problems, and those that do pop up usually have a back-story that makes it clear homeschooling is not the issue.   There are a LOT of homeschoolers here and as populated as we are, I would expect a lot more problems if the state was that concerned with homeschoolers.   I think most districts have too many problems to bother with the homeschoolers.

 

 

 

What do you need that for?

Why is it important to you to have a piece of paper that says that you homeschool?

And what makes you believe a piece of paper from HSLDA is giving you more official standing than one you make yourself and print on your home computer?

 

I've had need for an id a few times - mostly for store discounts.  A lot of places want to see homeschool paperwork, which is not required in NJ.   But you can print out a free id card, or order a laminated one, from the Homeschool Buyers Co-op.  I've never had a problem just bringing that in.  They aren't any more or less "official" than the HSLDA one.

[itsheresomewhere]

You don't take your child(ren) into a store at 10 am and not get looks? Really? I get them ALL the time. To the point I have just got in the habit of telling check out ladies (and men) that I homeschool. They didn't care when my son was at that age where he may or may not be in school but now he is big. I get them ALL THE TIME.

 

I am not one to notice either, unless it is everyone!

Only the every great once in a while no school today comment. Other than that, no.

[Wheres Toto]

There are a lot of things that paying attention would make a big difference. I choose to pay attention to other causes. We all pick what is the MOST important to us. 

No but people seem to look at you differently if you have a card that says that you homeschool vs just saying it. I live in a land of private live-in boarding schools so I do get looks every now and then. No I don't whip it out every time I get a look but it gives me the confidence to give them the disapproving look back. Not to mention it makes it easier to get teacher discounts. ;)

 

I understand the teacher discounts, but I don't get the part about disapproving looks.   I'm also in NJ and very very rarely get any kind of disapproving reaction to homeschooling.  I don't understand why having a card saying you homeschool is better or less likely to get disapproval than just saying you homeschool? 

[Wheres Toto]

You don't take your child(ren) into a store at 10 am and not get looks? Really? I get them ALL the time. To the point I have just got in the habit of telling check out ladies (and men) that I homeschool. They didn't care when my son was at that age where he may or may not be in school but now he is big. I get them ALL THE TIME. 

 

I am not one to notice either, unless it is everyone!

 

Okay, I"m sorry I really don't mean it to seem like I"m picking on you.  I probably should have finished reading the thread and just multi-quoted.  I'm not sure what part of the state you are in, and I"m mostly familiar with the middle-north part and the far southern part, but - I have probably 10 different school districts within 10 miles.  Plus multiple private schools - boarding, Catholic, $$$ private, other religious.   And all of them will have different schedules for days off.  Plus people take their kids out for appointments (orthodontists in particular NEVER have afterschool appointments).  Given all that, it's rare that anyone says anything about my kids being out during the day.  Maybe they are giving us funny looks and I'm just oblivious?

[itsheresomewhere]

Okay, I"m sorry I really don't mean it to seem like I"m picking on you. I probably should have finished reading the thread and just multi-quoted. I'm not sure what part of the state you are in, and I"m mostly familiar with the middle-north part and the far southern part, but - I have probably 10 different school districts within 10 miles. Plus multiple private schools - boarding, Catholic, $$$ private, other religious. And all of them will have different schedules for days off. Plus people take their kids out for appointments (orthodontists in particular NEVER have afterschool appointments). Given all that, it's rare that anyone says anything about my kids being out during the day. Maybe they are giving us funny looks and I'm just oblivious?

If you are, then I must be too.

[Matryoshka]

To save 10% at Michaels ;)

 

Here Michaels doesn't seem to have its own Teacher card, so I use the one I have from JoAnns - they accept it, and give me 15%. :D

 

The magic document in my state is the approval letter from the district (there are some benefits being in one of the few approval states...)  If you want a laminated card for whatever reason, you can also print one out from the website of one of the state homeschooling associations - no membership fee or statement of faith needed.  I've never bothered, ;)

 

This reminds me... have to get my ed plan done for next year!  Technically I don't need to send one, since she's 16, but I like my letter for all my discounts!  And the CC wants me to have one.

[FaithManor]

 It's rare to hear about anyone having problems, and those that do pop up usually have a back-story that makes it clear homeschooling is not the issue.   

Definitely the backstory. I know homeschoolers that went nuts because HSLDA told them the sky was falling over the Nauglers. Oops...and then you find out the dad is perv and his adult son has nothing to do with him, the kids are eating moldy pancake batter and dead turtles because there isn't any food, the house is less than a shack, they are defecating everywhere, stealing water from the neighbor, and threatening police.

 

NOT a homeschool issue.

 

And that is the way it is so often. Child abuse, medical neglect, custody issues.  The backstory is always so important.

[3 ladybugs]

Okay maybe I am not looking at the right thing, but from what I have read about homeschooling laws in NJ there is only case study and not actual laws in NJ that says that homeschool is legal. Things like a lawsuit was brought up against the Smith's (not actual people) and the judge said yes they can homeschool. There isn't a law that says "All residences of New Jersey are allowed to homeschool their child in a way they see fit." So yes NJ is a VERY easy state to homeschool in, but I don't pretend to think that it can't be taken away VERY easily. 

 

Yes I get strange looks often. Obviously not at this time of year but in the winter, yes. Maybe it is because we are only out to do actual things generally speaking. I need to go to the doctor, we are out of food in the house, we are preparing for a trip, whatever. We don't do field trips that often and the park isn't a usual destination for us. Maybe if I went to more softer areas I wouldn't see it as much as I do.

 

I am not one for confrontation. In fact I go out of my way not to confront ANYONE. Having a card from a 3rd party gives me the confidence to speak up if I have to. Has anyone here had a social worker imply that you were not following the law? Trust me that was one of the scariest things I have went through. I knew I was in the right. I knew she didn't know all about the homeschooling laws in this state (she even said as much)  and she could CLEARLY see my son was educated (he finished AAR before her visit, not implying that is all he needed but for example) but having that piece of paper was a relief to me. I know that she isn't the only one that could potentially be misinformed. I get it. I opened my house up to the state when I said I want to be a foster parent but, I see it HSLDA as sort of like an insurance policy. I NEVER want to use my flood insurance, however I am glad that I have it should I need it. And yes I know that some people here will say "but they don't do that!" Okay, tell me another agency that does and I will look at them. If you don't know of any, then they are the best we have. Because from where I am at, I would rather have the hope of something then the assurance of nothing.

[ChocolateReignRemix]

Okay maybe I am not looking at the right thing, but from what I have read about homeschooling laws in NJ there is only case study and not actual laws in NJ that says that homeschool is legal. Things like a lawsuit was brought up against the Smith's (not actual people) and the judge said yes they can homeschool. There isn't a law that says "All residences of New Jersey are allowed to homeschool their child in a way they see fit." So yes NJ is a VERY easy state to homeschool in, but I don't pretend to think that it can't be taken away VERY easily.

 

Actually it looks pretty clear to me.

 

http://www.state.nj.us/education/genfo/faq/faq_homeschool.htm

 

 

The following New Jersey statutes apply to compulsory education:

• N.J.S.A. 18A:38-25 requires that “every parent, guardian or other person having custody and control of a child between six and 16 to ensure that such child regularly attends the public schools of the district or a day school in which there is given instruction equivalent to that provided in the public schools for children of similar grades and attainments or to receive equivalent instruction elsewhere than at school.â€

Note:  The provision, “to receive equivalent instruction elsewhere than at school†in N.J.S.A. 18A:38-25, permits a parent/guardian to educate the child at home.

• N.J.S.A. 18A:38-31 states that “a parent or guardian or other person having charge and control of a child between the ages of 6 and 16 years, who shall fail to comply with any of the provisions of the article (N.J.S.A. 18A:38-25) relating to his/her duties, shall be deemed to be a disorderly person and shall be subject to a fine of not more than $25.00 for the first offense and not more than $100.00 for each subsequent offense, in the discretion of the court.â€

-------------

 

The court cases also set a legal precedent that reinforces that interpretation.

 

In theory, homeschooling rights in any state can simply be removed via legislation.

[kitten18]

You don't take your child(ren) into a store at 10 am and not get looks? Really? I get them ALL the time. To the point I have just got in the habit of telling check out ladies (and men) that I homeschool. They didn't care when my son was at that age where he may or may not be in school but now he is big. I get them ALL THE TIME.

 

I am not one to notice either, unless it is everyone!

My kids are 11 and 13, we never get funny looks when we're out during the day.

[mamaraby]

But... but... I have to go to Michaels to buy a laminator. And I want 10% off ;)

 

(Actually I have an nice printed ID from our Enrinchment Group and my sub ID from the school district)

Homeschool Buyer's Co-op has one that you can either print out yourself or have them print, in color, on a square piece of plastic for super cheap (meaning under $10 the last time I got one) for both teachers and students. Voila! Card problem solved, no HSLDA membership necessary.

[PinkyandtheBrains.]

Quoted post deleted by moderator.

The vast majority of this board is Christian. I'm guess, but I would say the majority of Christian's on this board are of the evangelical variety.

[Aura]

Quoted post deleted by moderator.

 

I had to go back and re-scan the thread because this comment seemed so out of place. I did not see any comments that equated evangelical Christians to being hateful and stupid. I don't read all the threads that come across The Chat Board, so maybe I missed something.... :confused1:

 

I do agree that there are often threads started where it seems that someone gets "piled on" for various reasons. I just don't see that in this thread. (except for maybe this particular comment, which has garnered quite a few responses)

[snowbeltmom]

My kids and I used to get comments when we were out during the day.  Most of the people were just curious about why the schools weren't open.  Other people were quite rude when they found out that we homeschooled, yet weren't doing school.  These were eye-rolling encounters for us and nothing that ruined our outings. 

 

There were a couple of women, however, that were at the same facility that my kids would frequent regularly during "school hours."  Every single time, these women would ask my kids why they weren't in school.  This did get to be annoying as they did know that my kids homeschooled.  Once my kids starting answering with "We don't go to school", that seemed to shut them down. 

[Aura]

HSLDA is highly promoted in this area. We're not members now, but we were when we first started, and honestly, their scare tactics sure had me worried about CPS and public schools! I wizened up, eventually.

 

We're looking at putting a two in public school this year. In anticipation of that, we went and visited it. They were extremely nice and helpful and showed a positive attitude toward homeschooling, even so much as assuming that our kids would be advanced for their grades. 

 

Homeschooling is common around here. I still get looks, but I think it's more from the sheer number of kids I bring along than being out during school hours. I get lots of positive feedback about homeschooling.

[elegantlion]

I remember when we first joined the homeschooling group. They handed us an HSLDA application like it was just part of the package. I remember thinking that if you're following the law - which is well spelled out- then why do you need pre-paid legal help? Never joined, never needed it. 

 

We also never got looks when ds was out during the day. Granted, I have one and it was easy to consider that perhaps they were out for a doctor's appointment. The few times we did get asked, I would just answer that we were done with school for the day and move along. 

 

For anyone who needs an official ID, you can print them for free from Bighugelabs badge maker. I used to print them every year with an updated photo and either laminated them or put them in a badge holder. He carried it in his wallet. 

 

 

[Guest]

You don't take your child(ren) into a store at 10 am and not get looks? Really? I get them ALL the time. To the point I have just got in the habit of telling check out ladies (and men) that I homeschool. They didn't care when my son was at that age where he may or may not be in school but now he is big. I get them ALL THE TIME.

 

I am not one to notice either, unless it is everyone!

That is SO weird. I don't get "looks" or weirdness at all. I have had the ocassional cashier ask if school is out or something, but I have only had them stare at me like I'm an alien once or twice in all the long years I have hsed.

 

I can't imagine having ocassion to pull out a little card and say, "See? I homeschool!" That strikes me as so very odd.

[regentrude]

I can't imagine having ocassion to pull out a little card and say, "See? I homeschool!" That strikes me as so very odd.

 

right - that's when they would start staring

[cjzimmer1]

You don't take your child(ren) into a store at 10 am and not get looks? Really? I get them ALL the time. To the point I have just got in the habit of telling check out ladies (and men) that I homeschool. They didn't care when my son was at that age where he may or may not be in school but now he is big. I get them ALL THE TIME. 

 

I am not one to notice either, unless it is everyone!

 

I've been at his homeschooling thing for 14 years now and no I don't remember every giving me looks about having kids out during the day.  A handful of times, I've had someone ask if there is no school today and we say we homeschool and every single time I have gotten a positive response.  The closest thing to a negative response I've ever received is the "socialization" question but when I talk about all the different activities my kids do thee all quickly comment about they didn't realize there was so many things available to homeschoolers and they think it's really neat that I'm able to do so much with my kids.

 

I'm sure there are pockets where homeschooling is frowned on but where I live it's definitely not only accepted but applauded.

[Calm37]

 

 

I am not one for confrontation. In fact I go out of my way not to confront ANYONE. 

 

 

I did have problems in my small town when I was out during school hours. The thing that really bothered me is that people would approach my kids and ask THEM why they weren't in school. I mean, I was standing right there, but they would question the kids. I had to teach them not to answer back, but just look to me. So rude! 

[Mimm]

I did have problems in my small town when I was out during school hours. The thing that really bothered me is that people would approach my kids and ask THEM why they weren't in school. I mean, I was standing right there, but they would question the kids. I had to teach them not to answer back, but just look to me. So rude! 

 

Huh. I don't have a problem with people asking my kids questions. Provided the questions aren't inherently rude. "Why aren't you in school" could be a rude question, or just a curious one, depending on tone, but my kids are just as capable of answering that at a young age as I am.

[Guest]

Huh. I don't have a problem with people asking my kids questions. Provided the questions aren't inherently rude. "Why aren't you in school" could be a rude question, or just a curious one, depending on tone, but my kids are just as capable of answering that at a young age as I am.

Yeah, I would kind of prefer my kids answer because then, if the asker had some negative notions about hsing, it might plant a seed of doubt in those notions when they see a confident, pleasant and articulate child answer them directly.

[Mergath]

I did have problems in my small town when I was out during school hours. The thing that really bothered me is that people would approach my kids and ask THEM why they weren't in school. I mean, I was standing right there, but they would question the kids. I had to teach them not to answer back, but just look to me. So rude!

Why on earth would that bother you? One of the perks of homeschooling is that our kids get the opportunity to talk to a wide variety of people. I love when people talk to my dd directly instead of talking over her head like she's some kind of pet.

[dirty ethel rackham]

There are a lot of things that paying attention would make a big difference. I choose to pay attention to other causes. We all pick what is the MOST important to us.

No but people seem to look at you differently if you have a card that says that you homeschool vs just saying it. I live in a land of private live-in boarding schools so I do get looks every now and then. No I don't whip it out every time I get a look but it gives me the confidence to give them the disapproving look back. Not to mention it makes it easier to get teacher discounts. ;)

Homeschool buyers' co-op. Free membership. Free printable homeschool id. Or you can pay them $8 for a nice plastic official looking one. Way cheaper than HSLDA membership. And you can get discounts on curriculum materials. I used mine for years at staples, officemax, Joann fabrics, Barnes and Noble, etc. https://www.homeschoolbuyersco-op.org/homeschool-id/

 

Sent from my SM-G900T using Tapatalk

[creekland]

I did have problems in my small town when I was out during school hours. The thing that really bothered me is that people would approach my kids and ask THEM why they weren't in school. I mean, I was standing right there, but they would question the kids. I had to teach them not to answer back, but just look to me. So rude! 

 

Add me to those who think this would put a more negative connotation into folk's minds than if the kids would answer themselves.  It seems it would cause folks to think the kids weren't socialized well since most ps kids can answer adults just fine even from a young age.

 

Many adults talked with my kids (park rangers, store/restaurant workers, folks we happened to be passing, etc).  They always answered for themselves.  Perhaps that's why we never got the strange or disapproving looks?

[dirty ethel rackham]

 

 

I remember when we first joined the homeschooling group. They handed us an HSLDA application like it was just part of the package. I remember thinking that if you're following the law - which is well spelled out- then why do you need pre-paid legal help? Never joined, never needed it.

 

.

The things is ... they are not prepaid legal help. There is no guarantee that they will come to your aid. They do not have attorneys licensed to practice in every state. They don't in IL. They have caused more problems than they have helped here because people are fearmongered into thinking "the sky is falling! We need to be rescued by HSLDA." They come in like gangbusters, pushing aside the vwry competent local advocates, acting like they are the mouthpiece for all homeschoolers, then take an untenable position and tick off a bunch of legislators. After they make their mess, local organizations have to redouble their grassroots efforts to kill whatever new rules/legislation that had been proposed. In my 19 years of homeschooling, I have seen it happen many times.

 

Most issues that have directly affected homeschoolers here were usually the result of a school official not understanding the law. Most often, a letter from the parent explaining the situation and a copy of the law makes these problems go away. If not, a letter from a local attorney would work just fine.

 

We did have an issue several years back in another part of the state where a couple of school officials seriously overstepped their bounds, sending truant officers accompanied police with guns to check up on legally homeschooling families. I do know that HSLDA tried to get them to stop bugging HSLDA members but they didn't care what happened to people who weren't members. They backed tracked and said they were working on behalf of all homeschoolers. When the school officials backed down, HSLDA took credit for saving the day. But, there was a lot of behind the scenes work done by local advocates groups that likely had just as much influence. That, along with other issues they have caused in our easy-peasy minimal regarding state, gave me a very unfavorable view of HSLDA.

 

If I were ever to have needed legal assistance, I would have gone to an attorney who can practice in my state. A couple of our state groups had a list of attorneys who were well-versed in these laws.

 

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[Lecka]

I don't homeschool, but sometimes I am out with my kids during school hours.

 

Maybe we had an appointment and we do some errands on the way back.

 

I have gotten prescriptions filled for them at places like Wal-Mart.

 

I used to feel strange doing it, but I haven't gotten any looks.

 

The district we used to live in also preferred for students to stay home an extra day after a fever.

 

So if I kept a child home with a fever, and the same day they were fine, the school preferred I keep them the following day.

 

So on those second days they are out and about with me.

 

No looks.

 

I think I live in friendly places, and also places where there are a lot of homeschoolers and also a lot of people who drive in from surrounding areas to shop if they also have a doctor's appointment in town.

 

I have randomly talked to a lot of people who had some kind of appointment and brought all their kids and made a shopping/errand day out of it. It seems like a common thing to do. (Edit: we used to live near a playground near a Target, the only Target within an hour drive, and I would talk to people who were eating lunch there with coolers, or just randomly talk to people.)

Edited August 1, 2017 by Lecka

[....]

About the comments/funny looks...it depends on where you live.  My sisters homeschooled high school and the school superintendent told my mom not to let my sisters be seen outside during school hours or people could call the police.   :glare:  

 

When we first started homeschooling our kids, we lived in an area where people would automatically ask why the kids weren't in school.  If you said you homeschooled, there was an automatic judgmental comment of some kind thrown back at you.  It was to the point where it was a long-standing joke in our family.  After we moved, we drove back to visit, pulled into a drive-thru to order food and the first thing the lady said was, "What, no school today??"   :laugh:  My kids thought that was hilarious.

   

[Spryte]

We have never gotten strange looks, or if we did - I don't notice.  

 

Once in a while a cashier will make small talk, ask, "No school today?" or something like that, but even that is rare.  Mostly, I've only ever had positive responses.  Some were neutral.  Nothing negative.

 

I have a 13 year old who has never been to a B & M school, and a 6 year old.  And we are often out and about during school hours doing things with a family of 5 kids ranging 7 - 12.  No looks.  

 

If I felt the need to whip out a homeschool id, I'd use my homeschool buyer's id card that I use to get teacher discounts.  The link to print that is up thread somewhere.  It's free.  I sure would not join HSLDA for that.

 

Honestly, HSLDA seems like a protection racket.

 

The only time I've ever needed to write a letter to the school district, and felt confused (I was new to HSing), I called our state homeschooling group, and they talked me through it on the phone.  They would have drafted a letter for me, if I really felt lost.  Also free.  They advocate for all homeschoolers, not just the christian ones.  

Edited August 1, 2017 by Spryte

[Wheres Toto]

Okay maybe I am not looking at the right thing, but from what I have read about homeschooling laws in NJ there is only case study and not actual laws in NJ that says that homeschool is legal. Things like a lawsuit was brought up against the Smith's (not actual people) and the judge said yes they can homeschool. There isn't a law that says "All residences of New Jersey are allowed to homeschool their child in a way they see fit." So yes NJ is a VERY easy state to homeschool in, but I don't pretend to think that it can't be taken away VERY easily. 

 

Yes I get strange looks often. Obviously not at this time of year but in the winter, yes. Maybe it is because we are only out to do actual things generally speaking. I need to go to the doctor, we are out of food in the house, we are preparing for a trip, whatever. We don't do field trips that often and the park isn't a usual destination for us. Maybe if I went to more softer areas I wouldn't see it as much as I do.

 

I am not one for confrontation. In fact I go out of my way not to confront ANYONE. Having a card from a 3rd party gives me the confidence to speak up if I have to. Has anyone here had a social worker imply that you were not following the law? Trust me that was one of the scariest things I have went through. I knew I was in the right. I knew she didn't know all about the homeschooling laws in this state (she even said as much)  and she could CLEARLY see my son was educated (he finished AAR before her visit, not implying that is all he needed but for example) but having that piece of paper was a relief to me. I know that she isn't the only one that could potentially be misinformed. I get it. I opened my house up to the state when I said I want to be a foster parent but, I see it HSLDA as sort of like an insurance policy. I NEVER want to use my flood insurance, however I am glad that I have it should I need it. And yes I know that some people here will say "but they don't do that!" Okay, tell me another agency that does and I will look at them. If you don't know of any, then they are the best we have. Because from where I am at, I would rather have the hope of something then the assurance of nothing.

 

NJ Department of Education Homeschool Law:  http://www.state.nj.us/education/genfo/faq/faq_homeschool.htm

 

We don't do much in the way of group field trips.  We're usually out at the store, the bank, the gas station, the library.  No looks or questions.

 

You had a social worker give you a hard time, you showed them a card saying you homeschool, and suddenly they were fine with it?   Sounds like just saying "I'm homeschooling legally under the state law" and she would have been fine with that.

[idnib]

I went to the HSLDA web site and one year is $120. Why not keep the money and hire a local attorney to write a letter if you have a problem you cannot solve?

[Spryte]

Okay maybe I am not looking at the right thing, but from what I have read about homeschooling laws in NJ there is only case study and not actual laws in NJ that says that homeschool is legal. Things like a lawsuit was brought up against the Smith's (not actual people) and the judge said yes they can homeschool. There isn't a law that says "All residences of New Jersey are allowed to homeschool their child in a way they see fit." So yes NJ is a VERY easy state to homeschool in, but I don't pretend to think that it can't be taken away VERY easily. 

 

Yes I get strange looks often. Obviously not at this time of year but in the winter, yes. Maybe it is because we are only out to do actual things generally speaking. I need to go to the doctor, we are out of food in the house, we are preparing for a trip, whatever. We don't do field trips that often and the park isn't a usual destination for us. Maybe if I went to more softer areas I wouldn't see it as much as I do.

 

I am not one for confrontation. In fact I go out of my way not to confront ANYONE. Having a card from a 3rd party gives me the confidence to speak up if I have to. Has anyone here had a social worker imply that you were not following the law? Trust me that was one of the scariest things I have went through. I knew I was in the right. I knew she didn't know all about the homeschooling laws in this state (she even said as much)  and she could CLEARLY see my son was educated (he finished AAR before her visit, not implying that is all he needed but for example) but having that piece of paper was a relief to me. I know that she isn't the only one that could potentially be misinformed. I get it. I opened my house up to the state when I said I want to be a foster parent but, I see it HSLDA as sort of like an insurance policy. I NEVER want to use my flood insurance, however I am glad that I have it should I need it. And yes I know that some people here will say "but they don't do that!" Okay, tell me another agency that does and I will look at them. If you don't know of any, then they are the best we have. Because from where I am at, I would rather have the hope of something then the assurance of nothing.

 

I am also a foster parent.  I am very surprised that you, as a foster parent, had a SW act confrontational about HSing.  We've never had a SW be anything but positive about our family choices, though we, of course, cannot homeschool our foster kids.  We know several other families who both homeschool and foster, I don't think they've had issues either.  What on earth did she say?  Or want?  Was she just asking for documentation as part of your home study?

[LucyStoner]

I've had considerable interactions with CPS here when they were following up about my niece and nephew and also visiting my home for kinship foster placement should the need arise to do it formally.  Not the tiniest peep about our sons being home during the day.  

 

Honestly, while I am sure people get looks and comments, I'm also sure that some people perceive looks where there was nothing to it and read into comments in a nasty way.   

 

Frankly, assuming positive intent is a very helpful skill to have as a homeschooling parent and to model to children.  

[LucyStoner]

Usually, if someone comments that the kids are out of school, it's curiosity and not anything untoward. People are, in general, not always the best at small talk and will seize on something different or unexpected.  If the checker at the market asks the kids if they have the day off from school, I do not choose, as I hear some homeschooling parents do, to react like they are attacking us.  Most daytime checkers work an 8-hour shift here, and they aren't seeing a lot of kids after 9 or before 3.  Remarking on something unusual doesn't mean there is a problem.  Also, since the area we are navigating literally has 10 different school districts with slightly different schedules, I don't read anything into comments about being on break.  Because it's not like anyone knows off the top of their heads when each district has Spring break or the day between semesters or is closed for parent teacher conferences or has early dismissal.  

Edited August 1, 2017 by LucyStoner

[laundrycrisis]

I wish they would fade out and leave the homeschool organizations in each state to work through their own legislative and legal issues. When there is a legislative issue, they come storming in uninvited, pushing local groups aside and demanding to take over as being the authority that represents all homeschool families. And they insert themselves as the standard. Years ago I attempted to get educator discounts at a couple stores. Both wanted to see my letter from the school district or my HSLDA card. WTH !!! Our state does not require permission from any district to homeschool, or any registration so nobody here will have a letter. As for the membership card, the store managers got an informational rant about what kind of organization HSLDA is, and how stupid it is to assume that all homeschool families want to support that.

[Bluegoat]

I remember when we first joined the homeschooling group. They handed us an HSLDA application like it was just part of the package. I remember thinking that if you're following the law - which is well spelled out- then why do you need pre-paid legal help? Never joined, never needed it. 

 

We also never got looks when ds was out during the day. Granted, I have one and it was easy to consider that perhaps they were out for a doctor's appointment. The few times we did get asked, I would just answer that we were done with school for the day and move along. 

 

For anyone who needs an official ID, you can print them for free from Bighugelabs badge maker. I used to print them every year with an updated photo and either laminated them or put them in a badge holder. He carried it in his wallet. 

 

i am really curious - what makes this "official" if you can just print it out yourself? Or what makes the HSLDA one offical for that matter?  I can't see why anyone would accept that sort of thing as proof of anything?

[Amy in NH]

i am really curious - what makes this "official" if you can just print it out yourself? Or what makes the HSLDA one offical for that matter? I can't see why anyone would accept that sort of thing as proof of anything?

It's not. It is just as official as the unaccredited diploma you type up and print at home. That's kinda the point... why pay $120 for a useless ID when you can print one yourself?

[historically accurate]

i am really curious - what makes this "official" if you can just print it out yourself? Or what makes the HSLDA one offical for that matter?  I can't see why anyone would accept that sort of thing as proof of anything?

 

There is no "official" homeschooling card, but people do accept one if you act confident. I used a homemade one that was printed with flowers and bees with a horribly cutesy name when my kids were little; it was never questioned. I always waited for someone to question how that was official, but no one ever did. I found once you have one discount card (B&N is the easiest to get here - just fill out the form), the other stores allow you to use the other store's discount card. So, for example, I use B&N's teacher card to get the discount at Michael's. 

[....]

Usually, if someone comments that the kids are out of school, it's curiosity and not anything untoward. 

 

Where we lived, it wasn't just a "why aren't they in school".  It was followed by some kind of judgmental comment.  The entire community there revolves around the public school, so they were like offended or something if you pulled your kid out.  My sister's friend just pulled her kids out of school there and it ended with the adults yelling at each other in the principal's office (at the school...in front of the kids).  

 

And it wasn't just homeschooling.  If you did anything different, everyone was just weird about it.  An example of what it was like living there...A group of older women knocked on my door one day and they said, "We heard a Buddhist family lives here."  (Ok, just so you know, our family is Asian). I almost fell onto the porch laughing.  Um, what? Did the neighborhood decide they needed to send an emergency committee to our house or something??  Stereotype much?  I told them that ironically, we're Lutheran and they left.

 

I do have a homeschooling neighbor here (where we currently live) who was harassed by the school district.  Ironically, it was CPS that kept helping her get the school district out of their business.  But, it was so upsetting that the dad wanted to move.  They came in their house and took pictures of where the kid slept, etc.  I don't want to post details about it, but it happens.  She took care of it without HSLDA, though. 

[elegantlion]

i am really curious - what makes this "official" if you can just print it out yourself? Or what makes the HSLDA one offical for that matter?  I can't see why anyone would accept that sort of thing as proof of anything?

 

Because it's a box checker for things like getting discounts. I used to live in a state that would send back a confirmation of your "letter of intent to homeschool" every year. It was on official state letterhead signed by someone in the department of education. I've had that official piece of paper overly scrutinized by more than one person, Barnes and Noble I think was the worst - even after I'd filled out their paperwork. I never had a problem when I pulled out what was essentially his student ID or my teacher ID. 

 

My college student ID really means nothing, it's not updated every year, mine was printed in 2013. I'm 50, so I don't even look like a typical college student and my photo is outdated too. I still get student discounts with it without question. 

 

Would it work in an official capacity? Doubtful, but it's like the difference between a diploma and a transcript. You don't display your college transcript, you display the pretty diploma confidant that there was an actual education earned to receive it. As mentioned above, it can also be about confidence. I printed the student and teacher ID because *I* was the school admin department too. I knew that there was an education happening behind that ID, the ID was just the pretty part that people liked to see. Would you apply to graduate school with your pretty diploma, no. Would I have shown CPS or a truancy officer his self-printed ID, no.

[creekland]

Where we lived, it wasn't just a "why aren't they in school".  It was followed by some kind of judgmental comment.  The entire community there revolves around the public school, so they were like offended or something if you pulled your kid out.  My sister's friend just pulled her kids out of school there and it ended with the adults yelling at each other in the principal's office (at the school...in front of the kids).  

 

And it wasn't just homeschooling.  If you did anything different, everyone was just weird about it.  An example of what it was like living there...A group of older women knocked on my door one day and they said, "We heard a Buddhist family lives here."  (Ok, just so you know, our family is Asian). I almost fell onto the porch laughing.  Um, what? Did the neighborhood decide they needed to send an emergency committee to our house or something??  Stereotype much?  I told them that ironically, we're Lutheran and they left.

 

I do have a homeschooling neighbor here (where we currently live) who was harassed by the school district.  Ironically, it was CPS that kept helping her get the school district out of their business.  But, it was so upsetting that the dad wanted to move.  They came in their house and took pictures of where the kid slept, etc.  I don't want to post details about it, but it happens.  She took care of it without HSLDA, though. 

 

I can't imagine whipping out a homeschooling card (from anywhere) changing anything though.  Folks who have a set mind just are that way, until maybe, someone impresses them enough to break the ice their thoughts are locked in with.

 

Middle son had one professor who turned him down for a TA position after he found out he was homeschooled telling him he wouldn't be able to relate to teaching other students and was lucky he lived on a farm because otherwise he wouldn't know any science at all (this after he'd gotten the highest or second highest grade in that prof's class).  That was one prof.  Several others had no such problem and my guy got super high marks from other students as a TA in the courses where he had the position.  He also graduated Summa Cum Laude - with two science majors...  It's definitely a good thing he grew up on a farm so he could learn science.   :lol:

 

No card I might have whipped out would have changed that prof's opinion.  He and middle son ended up reasonably good friends after he had another class with him - also getting the highest grade.  If anything changed the prof's mind about homeschoolers, my guy's continued interactions with him and seeing his success had the best chance.

[Calm37]

Why on earth would that bother you? One of the perks of homeschooling is that our kids get the opportunity to talk to a wide variety of people. I love when people talk to my dd directly instead of talking over her head like she's some kind of pet.

 

You guys all crack me up. No, we didn't practice at home how to be articulate about homeschooling at age 7. They could hardly remember what grade they were in. Which was usually the next question and often included what's 3 x 7? 

 

Yes, I didn't like it, silly me.

[Calm37]

It's not. It is just as official as the unaccredited diploma you type up and print at home. That's kinda the point... why pay $120 for a useless ID when you can print one yourself?

 

Although I don't know what the current discounts are, I tracked my savings one year and it was over $800. They used to have an awesome hotel discount with Choice.

[DawnM]

I have never been aligned with them politically, and their tactics are unethical in my book, so we have not used them at all. As a matter of fact, the majority of the homeschoolers I know have not joined. Some because they again don't embrace the ideology, many others have cited the cost as taking away from their curriculum budget. Either way, they aren't popular around here at this time.

 

One thing that made me very, very happy was when I converted to entirely secular curriculum. Once I stopped purchasing anything from religious companies, the constant selling of my name to other groups ended. I began getting pretty much everything on Amazon - often marketplace sellers so I could get used books -  ebay, and ABE, and apparently they do not sell their customer lists to others. I did have to spend a year "unsubscribing" to emails as they came in or putting them on the block list so they would go directly to junk mail, but the angst ended.

 

It has been pleasant to be out of the loop on all of their sky is falling and legalistic stuff that kept coming in email or snail mail. 

 

 

I didn't get on any lists from Christian curriculum.  I have used a few throughout the years.

 

I got on the HSLDA email list because when I first started HSing, I inquired about joining.  I decided I didn't need it at all, and never joined, but it didn't have to do with curriculum.  I got emails from them before I even ordered my first curriculum order.

[RootAnn]

This is clearly marked a JAWM thread, so I will nod my head and pat you on the back. HSLDA and their fervent disciples can be maddening.

[DawnM]

Why on earth would that bother you? One of the perks of homeschooling is that our kids get the opportunity to talk to a wide variety of people. I love when people talk to my dd directly instead of talking over her head like she's some kind of pet.

 

 

Well, when you have a very shy child or a special needs child, it can be frustrating.   People think you must lock them in the basement at home and they never get out and that is why they aren't talking with confidence to a strange lady in the grocery store.

[Danestress]

I might need legal representation for a legal issue. I don't need an attorney to help me deal with people looking at me funny. I didn't need some worthless "credential" card to feel safe taking my children in public. Usually when someone looks at me funny, it turns out I have mismatched shoes on, mascara all around my eyes, or forgot to brush my hair.

 

I had the occasional annoying question from busybodies. I felt ok answering or not. I never worried about being reported to CPS. If I needed attorney, I would want to hire one I chose. I would hire attorney who has experience with CPS in my jurisdiction. I think HSLDA profits by generating fear.

Edited August 1, 2017 by Danestress

[Bluegoat]

Because it's a box checker for things like getting discounts. I used to live in a state that would send back a confirmation of your "letter of intent to homeschool" every year. It was on official state letterhead signed by someone in the department of education. I've had that official piece of paper overly scrutinized by more than one person, Barnes and Noble I think was the worst - even after I'd filled out their paperwork. I never had a problem when I pulled out what was essentially his student ID or my teacher ID. 

 

My college student ID really means nothing, it's not updated every year, mine was printed in 2013. I'm 50, so I don't even look like a typical college student and my photo is outdated too. I still get student discounts with it without question. 

 

Would it work in an official capacity? Doubtful, but it's like the difference between a diploma and a transcript. You don't display your college transcript, you display the pretty diploma confidant that there was an actual education earned to receive it. As mentioned above, it can also be about confidence. I printed the student and teacher ID because *I* was the school admin department too. I knew that there was an education happening behind that ID, the ID was just the pretty part that people liked to see. Would you apply to graduate school with your pretty diploma, no. Would I have shown CPS or a truancy officer his self-printed ID, no.

 

Sure - and actually I think looking at the homeschool letter makes some sense.

 

But if you just need to have an official looking ID, I'd just make one.  As was said above, no need to join some organization and pay just to get one.