Mom out and about with sons question...

[3 ladybugs]

I am driving a minivan, Honda Odyssey. The children will be in the second row and the third row will be down with boxes and likely our bags. 4 year old is still rear facing (Advocate CT). 8 year old is still in a 5pt harness (Britax Frontier 85 SICT). I guess the safest thing for me to do is to set up the boxes like a little room in the back and use the potlette. I do have scented bags for it. LOL Though even then, someone will be able to see my children when I am using it. But on the other hand, I would only need to use it when we are between rest stops. So hopefully that will not come to pass. :)

 

Thank you for all the help everyone!

[Guest]

That's interesting. I've been all over the U.S. and have never encountered a restaurant bathroom that requires a key code or key. I've only ever seen that at an occasional gas station.

Ditto. Traveling across the US I've seen a few gas stations and maybe Dollar General stores that require a key. Only place ever requiring a code was a Starbucks.

[SparklyUnicorn]

People leave their windows down or cracked all the time for their pets at rest areas, that's really super common.  No one would bat an eye at a vehicle with the windows down/cracked.  Or even the car running with the air on, that's super common at rest areas too.  Especially since often there are people out at picnic tables, or taking their pet over to the pet relief area, that sort of thing really makes much more sense at a rest area than it might at like Walmart or the mall.  Vehicle owners really are right near by in a way they aren't in other situations.

 

And people are told all the time this isn't safe.

 

I had someone give me the stink eye once because she saw my son in the backseat at the library.  She pressed her face onto the window and looked at him.  She didn't realize I was in the car with him.  My older son had just gone in to return books. 

[BlsdMama]

Hello Hive! 

 

You are all so helpful to me whenever I have a question. So here is today's question. 

 

Soon I am going to be going on a 16 hour car trip alone with my 2 boys. They are ages JUST 4 (he turns 4 days prior to our trip) and almost 9 years old (2 months shy). I am fine with driving alone with them. I know I can do it. We are stopping half wayish to recharge then going the rest of the way. We make this trip at least once a year, this year we will do it twice. HOWEVER every time we go, we have DH/Daddy with us. This trip he can't come. :(

 

Here is my question: What is the correct thing to do when I need to use the restroom? We will likely be stopping at rest areas before we get to the hotel/grandma's house. I am trying to limit eating out. Most rest areas I have seen don't have family restrooms (we are primarily going down I-95 if someone is more knowledgeable then me). So for my 8 year old, I assume he goes to the men's room and I wait for him. When my 4 year old needs to go, I can have him go in a potlette in the car if need be. For me, it gets tricky. I feel like I can't win no matter what I do. If I leave my 8 year old outside the women's room then it looks like he can be kidnapped or was abandoned. If I take him with me, people say he is too old to be in the woman's room. If I have him wait in the car, even with the windows down I fear police will be called. How do I win? Or do I use the Potlette like my 4 year old in the car? LOL

 

I can't be the only one that deals with this. When I go out and about close to home I just make sure to go before we leave and come back before I have to go again. Seriously I plan my trips around my bladder. 

 

 

Be super sassy and put on your no-nonsense face and tell people, "You *seriously* want me to send a 9 year old into a men's bathroom at a rest area ALONE?" I would *not* be apologetic.  I'd look at them like they were *so* crazy that they would apologize.

 

Truly.

 

Anyone who says a thing needs to deal with life and apologize.  Everyone gets it in this day and age and if they don't then they have issues.  

[ChocolateReignRemix]

I don't let Ds go in a public men's bathroom alone. We look for family bathrooms when available and if not-- he goes with me into the women's. In the inconvenient times there is a one person bathroom (many gas stations) I let the kids go one at a time while I stand at the door and they all come in and turn their backs while I go....

 

Because ...child trafficking is real...and gas stations are a big target...

No, abductions of young children in the U.S. for human trafficking is not a real issue. It just isn't, and it gets old seeing a real issue (human trafficking of teens/women) being misused.

[bettyandbob]

Some I 95 rest stops have family rest rooms. That would be first choice.

 

If family room not available then take both boys in ladies with you. You can all go in the handicap stall. Teach both boys to face the wall while you are using the potty. Really every can do that while each other person is using the toilet, including your little guy. I have an intellectually disabled 15 year old. He usually has his own stall, but some places have only single bathrooms. Then we both in at the same time. I face the wall until he is done, then he faces the wall until I am done.

[EmseB]

If you say so. I've never been to one that didn't, except those that have actual keys.

I've only been to one bathroom that had a key code in my almost 40 years of life and it was in a whole foods in an area with a large homeless population.

 

Keys are more common for gas station (not full sevice truck stops) bathrooms but even those seem to be falling out of favor. Fast food places generally don't have any kind of restricted access. I have taken multiple xcountry roadtrips in the last 10 years, so I'm not talking about just my area of the country.

 

To the OP, I have no problem leaving my 8 and 9yo outside of the ladies while I go in with my 4 and 2yo. Or, I send the 4yo in with the older boys to the mens if I'm not using the restroom myself.

[Kalmia]

I've always used Dunkin' Donuts (out east anyway) bathrooms as they are single stall and I can stand right outside or go in if necessary. Every town of any size has one in the east. Don't know what the equivalent would be in other areas of the country.

[bettyandbob]

If you want your older to go in men's room (my oldest refused the ladies room starting at age 7)

have him go while you stand outside the men's room, then have him stand outside the ladies or put him in the car.

 

How I handle bthis would depend on his size because I don't want to deal with people who judge this decision.

Edited June 30, 2017 by Diana P.

[mommyoffive]

No way would I let an 8-year-old and 4-year-old go in a rest stop bathroom alone, or wait outside alone. Take them in with you. I doubt anyone will blink an eye. I know I certainly wouldn't have any problem with two little boys being in the women's room with their mom.

 

YES

 

They go in with you.  I wouldn't care at all if another mom was doing this.  

[Liz CA]

For the bathroom issue, I'd do this: Both kids in the lady's room with you, waiting while you use restroom. Just have them stand as far from the door as possible. Should anyone really have something to say about this, set them straight as Blsd Mama suggested.

 

When my ds insisted on going to the men's room, I would throw the door open and glance inside. If door could be propped open, we did that. If he went in and door swung shut and I figured he'd been there long enough, I would open the door but not go in and just call his name. If had not answered I would have gone in.

For some people this may sound bordering on paranoid but at our local mall a girl was almost (attempt foiled by an alert shopper) abducted through the girl's bathroom and with little kids I am vigilant. I would rather some irate guy is screaming at me for looking in the bathroom than wishing I had when my son was missing.

 

If you can suggest older one goes into lady's room with you, this would definitely preferable IMHO.

 

[SparklyUnicorn]

But, that's a library, not a rest area. 

 

In any event, really, I personally would do whatever works for me and not worry about what other people think.  I don't care if people give me stink eye or ask my kid where mommy is and she says "in the restroom."   Not like I am every going to see them again anyway. 

 

I don't understand the reasoning.  It's summer and the car gets hot quickly.  The OP is too afraid to wait outside of a rest room for her kid.  I can't imagine her feeling better about leaving him alone in a hot car.

[EmseB]

Be super sassy and put on your no-nonsense face and tell people, "You *seriously* want me to send a 9 year old into a men's bathroom at a rest area ALONE?" I would *not* be apologetic. I'd look at them like they were *so* crazy that they would apologize.

 

Truly.

 

Anyone who says a thing needs to deal with life and apologize. Everyone gets it in this day and age and if they don't then they have issues.

...and I would think they were crazy for not letting their 9yo go to the bathroom on their own and forcing them into to ladies room.

 

Then again, I probably wouldn't say anything about it, but would not especially appreciate a pre-teen boy in the ladies.

 

I guess I have issues.

 

But, if I were the OP I would just do what I felt had to do and deal with a stink eye or comment and shrug it off.

[happypamama]

I would not leave them in the car.

 

I would bring them both in the ladies' room with me, or at a smaller place like a fast food restaurant, I would have no problem with at least the 8yo waiting outside the restroom door. The 4yo too if I could trust that he wouldn't run off. My current 8yo and almost 4yo -- I could probably have them both wait outside the restroom, but more likely, I'd send them into the men's room or take them in the ladies' room and have them go while I was going. If the 8yo didn't need to go, I'd have him wait outside while I took the 4yo.

[J-rap]

That's interesting. I've been all over the U.S. and have never encountered a restaurant bathroom that requires a key code or key. I've only ever seen that at an occasional gas station.

 

I've seen this many times if it's a restaurant or office that shares a bathroom with other businesses in the building.

[Χά�ων]

Locked restrooms seem to be hit or miss. I find them in more tourist areas or places with high foot traffic or with small stores.

 

I would take him on with me at a rest stop or use a gas station.

[zoobie]

I am driving a minivan, Honda Odyssey. The children will be in the second row and the third row will be down with boxes and likely our bags. 4 year old is still rear facing (Advocate CT). 8 year old is still in a 5pt harness (Britax Frontier 85 SICT). I guess the safest thing for me to do is to set up the boxes like a little room in the back and use the potlette. I do have scented bags for it. LOL Though even then, someone will be able to see my children when I am using it. But on the other hand, I would only need to use it when we are between rest stops. So hopefully that will not come to pass. :)

 

Thank you for all the help everyone!

I would drag my large DS in the women's room before I'd go potty in my car. I think you're probably worrying unnecessarily about how difficult this will be. Coffee shops, gas stations with "one hole" toilets are pretty easy to find. Restaurants and stores generally have nicer facilities. What do you do now when you're out? :

[winterbaby]

I would avoid public rest areas in general and go to truck stops where my kid would be in a nice indoor environment with people around while waiting for me to come out of the bathroom. Places on the interstate don't bother you for a purchase to use the bathroom the way places in town do. I wouldn't all go at the same time, I would wait for him outside and then vice versa because the greater potential danger is in the men's bathroom so you should be seen waiting for him. I'm also not sure how much, if any, camera surveillance the public rest areas have if God forbid it came to that, compared to a nice big truck stop, which is sure to have plenty. Rest areas are sketchy. I only go there as a last resort. Although running into bad guys is unlikely in any case, deliberately seeking out rest areas with children seems unwise.

[Tanaqui]

Then again, I probably wouldn't say anything about it, but would not especially appreciate a pre-teen boy in the ladies.

 

I was a very tall child. If I see very tall opposite-sex children in the bathroom, I generally assume they're younger than I think, or possibly have some disability that makes it a bad idea to leave them totally unsupervised. (Not that I really care. It's a bathroom. It's not that exciting. In and out!)

 

Of course, they could be victims of mom and dad's completely unwarranted paranoia (honestly, the dangerous part of your 16 hour trip is the part where you're driving, not the part where you're standing around a bathroom. Do you know the odds of dying in a car crash?) but that's not my problem.

[Tanaqui]

I wonder if people would advise to bring an 8yr old girl into the mens rest room?

 

There's always somebody who thinks that the men's room is full of lewd perverts all the time, who are just itching for a chance to get violent all over a child. But people do bring their girls into the men's room sometimes, I've seen it happen.

 

[MistyMountain]

My ds who is almost 9 now goes in the men's room by himself and that started sometime this year. He can also wait outside the restroom if I need to go in but he does not which I do not worry about at all. I was a little more worried with a boy in the men's room then vise versa but it something he will have to do soon anyway and the risk is extremely minuscule. He can handle the task perfectly fine. He also has to go in the locker room at the pool by himself now. There are no family locker rooms. A 4 year old boy I would definitely bring in the women's room with me and no one would care.

Edited June 30, 2017 by MistyMountain

[lauraw4321]

If you say so. I've never been to one that didn't, except those that have actual keys.

 

Where do you live?  I have NEVER seen this. Only place is in a few gas stations.

[winterbaby]

Sketchy things do happen in men's rooms - do you know what "cruising" is? I wouldn't want my husband to bring my daughter into one, if only because of the open urinals, but we're talking about a child going in alone and people get concerned about that for a reason, whatever the stats may be. And actually who really knows what the stats are on flashers etc., which aren't always reported. People have different ideas about what she should do but it doesn't fly with me to put her down for at least wanting to think it through.

[Tanaqui]

I live in NYC. It's everywhere, not just in the city but also in the less built up parts of Staten Island and all.

 

If I want to pop in to a bathroom, I find a bookstore or (in a pinch) a home depot, or sometimes a small, family-run business. (My kids were astonished when I asked an accountant once if they could use their bathroom, but it worked. They were definitely past the "if you don't, I promise you, there will be pee on your floor" age). Or I hold it until I can get to the ferry.

 

I'm really astonished that you're all surprised!

[Tanaqui]

Sketchy things do happen in men's rooms - do you know what "cruising" is?

 

Consensual behavior between adults and occasionally older minors. It might be sketchy, but it's not particularly dangerous except to the participants.

 

And actually who really knows what the stats are on flashers etc., which aren't always reported.

 

Not likely to scar your child for life. I mean, realistically, what's the difference between seeing somebody's penis because he's a flasher and seeing it because he's standing at a urinal? (For that matter, the sign on the door isn't going to stop people, male or female, from standing inside waiting to flash unsuspecting children... at least, not unless the men's room and the women's room have different keycodes, or there's a dedicated guard.)

 

it doesn't fly with me to put her down for at least wanting to think it through.

 

And I don't appreciate the implication in some of these comments that those of us who look at the numbers are just being cavalier about our children's safety.

 

I'm sure we all make the choices that make the most sense to us, and very few of us will say anything about a well-behaved child, no matter what we might think inside our heads. (And on that, I agree with what's been said upthread. If anybody looks at you funny, or says something, I'd tell them where they could go and what they could do with themselves when they got there, them and the horse they rode in on. You'll never see them again, so who cares? Let them mind their own children while you mind yours. If they were minding their own children, they wouldn't have the time to worry about yours anyway, so you already know you're the better parent.)

Edited June 30, 2017 by Tanaqui

[maize]

I have never encountered a key code restroom.

 

I've only seen keys at the occasional--usually rather small, old, and dingy--gas station.

 

Fascinating.

[Farrar]

I have never seen a restaurant that requires any sort of code or key to use their restroom.  Anywhere.  I have seen gas stations that have keys, and I have seen one or two other businesses that don't have a restroom for customers at all, but never ever a fast food restaurant that doesn't have restrooms that are unlocked for everyone to use.  I am curious where this is so common?

 

There are none in the city around us that are not keycoded. I can't think of any - and that includes local places and places like Panera. The Target bathrooms aren't and neither are the really nice sit down places, but all the fast food and fast casual restrooms have codes. I think you'll find this is the norm inside most major cities.

 

It's very different in the exurburbs, of course. But, like... I am a bit of a Panera nut so I've probably been to the majority of Paneras in a certain radius around my house. The ones that are just a few miles outside the city, those still do the codes. But you get to the ones that are totally inaccessible unless you drove there? Those, you just open the door.

 

But I'm surprised that people aren't familiar with the exterior gas station bathroom with a key set up. I've seen that for years all over the country. It's not everywhere, but it's common. When the restroom is inside the gas station, you generally just open it, but the ones where the bathroom is entered from outside - usually around the corner from the door. Of course, those don't matter for gender - they're pretty much always single stall. So the OP's issue is moot in those cases.

 

As to why people lock them? For the gas stations, I assume it's trucker related - as in, some truckers make a mess. In the city, it's definitely to deter homeless people.

[kitten18]

I live in NYC. It's everywhere, not just in the city but also in the less built up parts of Staten Island and all.

 

If I want to pop in to a bathroom, I find a bookstore or (in a pinch) a home depot, or sometimes a small, family-run business. (My kids were astonished when I asked an accountant once if they could use their bathroom, but it worked. They were definitely past the "if you don't, I promise you, there will be pee on your floor" age). Or I hold it until I can get to the ferry.

 

I'm really astonished that you're all surprised!

I've never encountered it outside of a big city and even in L.A. I've only seen it a couple times.

[BarbecueMom]

I've only seen the key code entrance on what's probably a manager's office, store closet, or police substation in restaurants or gas stations. I would NOT recommend going to the bathroom in those rooms.

[SparklyUnicorn]

I live in NYC. It's everywhere, not just in the city but also in the less built up parts of Staten Island and all.

 

If I want to pop in to a bathroom, I find a bookstore or (in a pinch) a home depot, or sometimes a small, family-run business. (My kids were astonished when I asked an accountant once if they could use their bathroom, but it worked. They were definitely past the "if you don't, I promise you, there will be pee on your floor" age). Or I hold it until I can get to the ferry.

 

I'm really astonished that you're all surprised!

 

I'm in NY (not NYC).  It's fairly common here too. 

[winterbaby]

Consensual behavior between adults and occasionally older minors. It might be sketchy, but it's not particularly dangerous except to the participants.

 

Being exposed to it isn't consensual for the person who comes upon it unawares. It isn't consensual for society in general to have what was publicly designated for one use to be seized by a small group for activities that should be private. I consider being exposed to it a danger unto itself, especially for a child, and someone who doesn't have enough boundaries to keep their consensual activities to themselves may not actually have enough boundaries to confine themselves to consensual activity, either.

 

Not likely to scar your child for life. I mean, realistically, what's the difference between seeing somebody's penis because he's a flasher and seeing it because he's standing at a urinal?

 

Seriously? You can't tell the difference between you accidentally see something while someone is relieving himself in the designated area (which men tell me doesn't really happen anyway), vs. someone comes waggling it at you in a suggestive manner? I've been flashed as a young girl - no it didn't "scar me for life" - yes it did trouble me at the time - yes people have a right not to have that happen to them or their children without being trivialized by a baseless, sarcastic "scarred for life" criterion for how bad sexual assault has to be before one is allowed to object to it.

 

And I don't appreciate the implication in some of these comments that those of us who look at the numbers are just being cavalier about our children's safety.

 

I don't see that implication anywhere. On the other hand I see you explicitly trivializing the desire to avoid unwanted sexual activity. That's troubling.

Edited June 30, 2017 by winterbaby

[Rachel]

I am curious how this would go if the genders were different. In my situation, it's my DD who is 8. What would people advise if it was my DH who had DD8 and DS4 with him? I wonder if people would advise to bring an 8yr old girl into the mens rest room?

When my husband has our daughter he does not take her in the men's room. He has been sending her in the women's restroom since way before I was ready for her to use the bathroom alone. He says the men's stalls are usually nasty and he thinks it's easier than inspecting the stall and then possibly having to clean the toilet enough so she can use it. I asked him about men using the urinals and he says people mind their own business and you don't see anything if you are not trying to see something.

[brehon]

I am driving a minivan, Honda Odyssey. The children will be in the second row and the third row will be down with boxes and likely our bags. 4 year old is still rear facing (Advocate CT). 8 year old is still in a 5pt harness (Britax Frontier 85 SICT). I guess the safest thing for me to do is to set up the boxes like a little room in the back and use the potlette. I do have scented bags for it. LOL Though even then, someone will be able to see my children when I am using it. But on the other hand, I would only need to use it when we are between rest stops. So hopefully that will not come to pass. :)

 

Thank you for all the help everyone!

I wouldn't do *that* at all. I'd stop at the big truck stops and use their restrooms, if I were that worried about rest stops. Neither of my older boys would use the women's restroom beginning about 7ish and I see no reason to force them to do so, except, perhaps, in certain situations where my radar was pinging.

 

I'd probably send the 8 yo old into the men's and take the 4 yo with me. We'd meet just outside the restrooms.

[Tanaqui]

I don't see that implication anywhere. On the other hand I see you explicitly trivializing the desire to avoid unwanted sexual activity. That's troubling.

 

Every single time somebody goes "I won't take chances with my child's safety", they're implicitly stating that the rest of us do.

 

I don't see that implication anywhere. On the other hand I see you explicitly trivializing the desire to avoid unwanted sexual activity. That's troubling.

 

People who want to do bad things aren't going to be stopped by a sign on the door. As you say, they obviously don't care about the mores of society, or they wouldn't be hanging about in bathrooms in the first place. If there are bad people hanging around specifically to be bad, they'll do it in either room - or outside. If there are people who just want some privacy and don't want to rent a motel room, they'll pick whichever room is closest or cleanest. They obviously don't care much either.

 

At any rate, the risk of being harmed by this sort of thing is much lower than the risk of being harmed in a car crash. Any argument that starts with "safety" but doesn't address the fact that driving is inherently less safe than what they're arguing against is... well, it's not a good one.

Edited June 30, 2017 by Tanaqui

[Rachel]

I have never in my life seen anyplace that needs a key or code to use the bathroom except a very few small gas stations where the bathroom is on the other side of the building with an outside door....and those are disappearing. I have been to places all over the mid west, I have vacationed in places along the east coast, and driven up and down all sorts of highways all over the eastern half of the US. Really, in my lifetime I have been to probably half the states in the US. In all that, I can't recall ever needing some sort of code or key. It really is super surprising to me. lol

 

My local Walgreens has a key code. It's a brand new building and my bladder was about to explode when I discovered this. Fortunately they had a doorbell you ring and someone comes pretty quickly.

[tdbates78]

I'm in the party hat favors fast food restaurants or gas stations. Cleaner, safer and usually much more prevalent. I am driving with my girls from NC to IL alone for the first time next week and I'm avoiding the rest stops. I just don't find them as comfortable as a nice, clean gas station or fast food restaurant. Have the boys sit down or wait right by the door and then just hurry up and do your business.

[Farrar]

I wonder what constitutes "most major cities?"  I have been in what I would consider "major cities."  Indianapolis, Chicago, Orlando, DC, Vegas,  etc.  My only experience in NYC was in the airport so that probably doesn't count and I have never been otherwise.   It really is fascinating to me, because I find it to be SO unusual.  If I was driving down the freeway, and stopped at a McDs and they had some sort of lock on it, I would probably assume that there was something wrong with the toilet and walk out lol.

 

In Vegas everything is so geared toward the hospitality industry that I don't recall seeing them there. But I live in the inner city in DC. I'm sure there are exceptions, but they're extremely common here, especially off the tourist track. I've seen them in NYC, in Philly, even in Atlanta a few times - and Atl is just a really spread out, car-driven city. But I think anywhere with homelessness, they're going to be common, which is why I also see them in downtown Silver Spring, a very nearby suburb.

[Word Nerd]

But I'm surprised that people aren't familiar with the exterior gas station bathroom with a key set up. 

 

I don't think anyone has expressed surprise at that—hence all the "except at a gas station" comments.

[Farrar]

I don't think anyone has expressed surprise at that—hence all the "except at a gas station" comments.

 

Yeah, I posted as people were posting that exception. In the earlier comments several people said they had "never" seen it.

[winterbaby]

Every single time somebody goes "I won't take chances with my child's safety", they're implicitly stating that the rest of us do

But you've now said that it's not a big deal if people are exopsed to sexual activity or get flashed, so it would seem to be accurate that you're comfortable with chances others aren't comfortable with.

 

 

People who want to do bad things aren't going to be stopped by a sign on the door.

That seems like a line from an argument that's not the argument we're actually having (transgender issues perhaps?) OP's options are between the women's bathroom with her and the men's bathroom alone. While people aren't "stopped by a sign," people who want to do bad things to children are generally very much stopped by the presence of a supervising adult.

 

I myself suggested that the chances of anything happening if he goes into the men's room alone are small enough if she a. chooses the location carefully (busy business vs. isolated rest area) and b. allows herself to be seen waiting for him outside, rather than going off to the woman's bathroom at the same time. I am not saying her kid is guaranteed to be assaulted if she lets him out of her sight. I am objecting to sarcastic put downs ("the men's room is just crawling with perverts waiting to jump on your kid") of a mother's concern.

[Joker]

In the last three years I've visited LA, San Diego, San Francisco, Dallas, Atlanta, DC, Indy, Orlando and Chicago. I have never encountered a keyed or keypad bathroom in fast food places or restaurants. There were a handful of keyed bathrooms in gas stations but most did not. We will be in NYC this fall so I'm interested to see how often we encounter one. 

[maize]

8 was probably around when we transitioned from oldest ds coming into the women's room with me to him going into the men's room with me standing outside. I've been known to crack the door open and call in to check on him if he is not back quickly. 

 

If big brother is with me I will send a younger son in with him unless he is small enough to need help. Then he comes with me.

[lewber]

I think most state rest stops have family restrooms now. I'm glad you found a map.

 

My brother travels with his daughter a good bit and he always stops at a hotel - like a Holiday Inn Express or a Hilton Garden Inn or similar. They are always right off the interstate and nobody really bats an eye if you walk into the lobby and go to the bathroom. They usually have signs telling you where they are and I guess maybe they think you're a guest?  I would have never thought of that but he's had good luck with it.

 

I usually stop at a Sheetz or Loves. 

 

 

[3 ladybugs]

Someone asked why I was traveling by car. I am traveling by car because I have furniture that I am bringing back up with me. I am bringing back my dresser from when I was a child. It will become my daughter(s) (unsure how many daughters I will have). I need a dresser for that room and this is free. A very good price! I am also acquiring several other odds and ends from my mother's house. Some glasses that are from my childhood, possibly all the photos from my mom as she doesn't want to worry about them in hurricanes. Several tools for work in a house but not a condo, and probably a couple of bicycles. So a van is going to be needed to transport all this back home. 

 

However after this trip, and the next one with DH, I can see us going down to visit grandma by train. The train goes less then 2 miles from our house and goes about 1/4 a mile from her new home. So it is fitting to take that. I can hardly wait!!

[vonfirmath]

I would take them in with me. Women's rooms have stalls. I wouldn't bat an eye at an 8 year old with mom. A teenage boy lurking alone in the women's room is very different to a pre-pubescent boy with mom, going quickly into a stall.

If there's another woman in there just say he's with me, we'll be very quick.

If they press, you say, I'm sorry, I know it's unusual, he has an issue that requires me to bring him with me (that issue is no one to take him to the mens!)

If they get upset, well, just be apologetic, quick and be on your way. It's not like you'll see them again!

 

I may be paranoid, but I would be very uncomfortable with sending my son in by himself.

 

I have a 9 year old son. When I take him out places alone that I'm not comfortable sending him in to the mens restroom alone, this is exactly what we do. I've never had anyone bat an eye.  I have also taught him proper etiquette in the ladies restroom -- particularly not to peek through doors and to stay out of the way (in the restroom) when he's done with business and wait for me and his sister to finish.

[Twolittleboys]

Well, I have travelled quite a bit with my sons at various ages and I would a) take the 4 year old with me to the Women's restroom, b) let the 9 year old use the men's restroom (either wait outside or use the time to go to the Lady's one, and c) let the older wait outside the women's restroom if you have to go. If your nine year old is very small or immature I would probably take him with me to the women's restroom (i.e. if he looks more like 6 and/or you are afraid he will wander off).

 

Anyway, I wouldn't worry about this AT ALL. The chance of something happening in the couple of minutes he has to wait outside is so small that I wouldn't even think about it. You are much more likely to have a car accident on the trip than a nine year old being kidnapped by a stranger while waiting in front of a restroom.

[SparklyUnicorn]

8 was probably around when we transitioned from oldest ds coming into the women's room with me to him going into the men's room with me standing outside. I've been known to crack the door open and call in to check on him if he is not back quickly. 

 

If big brother is with me I will send a younger son in with him unless he is small enough to need help. Then he comes with me.

 

I can't even remember exactly when we transitioned.  Of course I don't care if my kid is 27.  If he is uncomfortable I'll do what I can to make him feel more comfortable.  I'm exaggerating..but yeah if my 9 year old wasn't comfortable I would just bring him in. 

 

I was a little lucky sort of because he always looked a lot younger than he was.  At 9 he didn't look anywhere near 9.  So that helped probably. 

[SparklyUnicorn]

I wouldn't think twice about taking both of them in the women's room. I wouldn't make a big deal or blindfold eother of them. I have 3 boys and still don't like any of them going in the men's room alone.

When my ds10 insists, I stand right outside the door and call in a couple times while he's there.

 

I've done that.  Stand at the doorway of the men's room and yell in several times.  I'm sure I looked insane.  LOL 

[fairfarmhand]

I am going down on July 22 and coming back on the Aug 3. My mom is moving from the beach to the city and needs help... not to mention she is downsizing and I get a bunch of stuff. :D I have the iExit app. I wonder if it says if there are family restrooms? 

 

I guess I could blindfold my son and take him in the womans. Or would that be more weird?

 

My son is 9, almost 10. In stores and restaurants and such, I let him go to the mens room without me, while I lurk outside the door, probably glaring at every man who goes in there.

 

But rest stops would make me nervous. Just have him stand facing the wall so people don't think he's peeping, even if he's not.

[vonfirmath]

I've always used Dunkin' Donuts (out east anyway) bathrooms as they are single stall and I can stand right outside or go in if necessary. Every town of any size has one in the east. Don't know what the equivalent would be in other areas of the country.

 

Dairy Queen tend to be single stall bathrooms.