Do you force your children to read?

[tdbates78]

This is kind of a spin off of a question being asked in the general education forum. Someone asked about regrets on early childhood homeschooling, and one response was about reading and how it took a few years to undue the damage she had done by making her son read at an early age.

 

So my 7.5 year old twins were pulled out of public school in January. They were at that school for pre-k, kindy and the first half of first grade. They were sent home reader bags with 7-8 readers each week and were required to read nightly and the parents had to sign a sheet and list the amount of time the kids read.

 

My girls do not like to read. :( They are good readers, I would say above grade level. They grasp new phonics rules easily. But they do not like to read. They moan and groan and then will pick out the shortest books to read. So I changed it up and implemented a "20 minutes" of read time instead and put on a timer. And if I'm not sitting with them, really paying attention, they will skip paragraphs or pages all together in an effort to be finished quicker. Our bookshelves are filled with age-appropriate, level appropriate books on topics they enjoy, many of which they themselves picked out. We also go to the library every 2 weeks and they pick out an assortment of books. 

 

I've always loved to read so I can't relate. I'm worried that forcing them to read is hindering their enjoyment in reading. But at the same time they obviously have to read as part of their education.

 

Any thoughts? 

[Guest]

Yes Starting at 6.

 

I have kids that only enjoy doing things they can do well. So I have to "make" them do basically everything at first. YMMV

 

And when one of my kids was 7, he kept choosing books like "bat and cat" wayyy below his level. I praised him to high heaven every time like he had just recited Othello in its entirety. He started getting bored but wouldn't admit it. So I'd let him pick those books then also hand him something slightly harder and have him read for five more minutes. Then ten. Then 15. ETC.

[marbel]

I didn't really force.  But I strongly encouraged.  Stuff like:

 

- Sit with them when they are reading, doing my own reading.

 

- "You read a page, I'll read a page."

 

- Read the first few pages or chapter of a book that was within their grasp, and then tell them to finish it.

 

- We didn't do this, but someone we knew did a sticker chart with a prize at the end.  My kids were never motivated by that sort of thing. 

 

- Public library summer reading program.  Or Pizza Hut Book-it (?), or Barnes and Noble reading program if they still do it.

 

- Buy highly desired books for the kids to read.  I know it can be hard to spend the $$, but sometimes owning the book makes it more important to read it.

 

- Create good places to read as much as possible.  Let them find reading nooks.  In the summer, the hammock was a favorite place.  Or we'd make a tent by putting a sheet over the play structure.  

 

- I allowed food and drink while reading.  I know that is controversial.  

 

Some kids are never readers though.  My younger is an erratic reader; there are times I think she'll never pick up a book again.  Then she'll go on a binge. Sometimes the binge is total fluff, but it's better than nothing. 

 

ETA: Oh, and I never stopped reading aloud to them. We read almost all the way through high school.  So many people would say "why do you keep reading when they can read it on their own?"  There is so much value to having a read aloud going.  It's not an either/or thing.  Do both.  Save the hard books for read aloud time.

 

 

Edited June 13, 2017 by marbel

[sweetpea3829]

Yes, I do.  For summer, they have a list of books to choose from (but I also entertain suggestions from the kids on books they might like to read).  Reading is integrated within our school curriculum, so it's not an option during the school year.  

 

But in addition, mine can earn tablet time in two ways...they can pay for it, or they can earn it by reading.  I have one for whom this isn't enticing enough.  But for the boys?  They're all in.  

[2_girls_mommy]

We have always read aloud too. My one for whom reading is more difficult wants to read because she loves good books because we have read them together aloud for so long. I read aloud in the day longer than she reads to herself in a day at age almost 13, still. I still read to my high schooler. We listen to audio books. And yes, when they were little they had to read aloud to me whether they wanted to or not. For one, it was rarely an issue. But she had days it was tougher when she was learning or if the book was slightly challenging. For the other, it was all challenging. So I used easy books that made her feel successful for as long as she needed them. And we still do the take turns reading aloud to each other thing in middle school and high school. I will say, my voice is getting tired. Take over for a minute if I feel I need to be a bit tricky about it that day. :) 

[Julie Smith]

I do. 

 

I still force Youngest to read, and he is much older than your kids. For him, reading is a school subject. 

 

The more I force him to read, the more he enjoys doing so. Or at least he acknowledges that the books are good and that he enjoys it. 

[ExcitedMama]

Have you found any books that they really love? Do they enjoy listening to you read aloud? I think the key is finding what they love. Last year DS did Barnes and Nobles summer reading thing and got to choose a book, so he chose my Big Fat Zombie Goldfish. As you might tell from the title not a book I probably would have picked but he LOVED it. He kept having to stop and tell me about it and it was pretty funny. He immediately read through the whole series. Then I went on Amazon to see what was similar and found Timmy Failure and then another series that he loved. I think you need to find whatever gets them excited to read. Maybe find some titles and buddy read them together and try to get them excited to want to finish the story and see what happens next. I wouldn't be afraid to start with some fun fluff to catch their interest.

[nixpix5]

I do and did.

 

With my two grown sons who are in their 20s, neither liked to read but could read well. I made them and at first they pushed back. The fruits of my patience finally paid off around 10 years old for both of them. They found some books they liked and took off. Even to this day they still love to read. I also continued to read out loud as a family their entire lives. Even when you would think they were too old. They both describe that as being very memorable. I will do the same for these three at home.

[Tanaqui]

I require them to bring books with them wherever we go. This isn't quite the same, but it ends up having a similar effect.

[Petrichor]

We approach it in a way similar to what Marbel described.

 

I have told him, "go downstairs and read for a while" Our bookshelves are down there. We have tons of choices, from picture books to chapter books and even textbooks. I honestly don't even care too much if he doesn't actually "read" every time he does "reading time." When I force activities on this child, he almost immediately hates the activity.

 

We have a few early reader books, but he finds most of these boring and has always refused reading them.

 

It is easier for him to recognize words now, and he reads most words at a pace that is still a bit slow for regular speech, but not slow enough that he has to take breaks between words. With this, he is starting to choose to read more of the words in the books. 

 

I frequently say to him, in response to his questions, "Well, read the words around it, and maybe it will tell you." More often than not, he is reading something expository, and is looking with interest at a small drawing, wondering what they used x for or what x is or how x is made. 

 

I read around him. "Sorry, can't right now, I'm reading. How about you read too?" Or "go ask dad, I'm reading my book."

 

I read to him. Now that he can read a bit better, there are some things I refuse to read to him regularly (like magic tree house) because, if he wanted to badly enough, he could read it himself, and also, I want to use our read aloud time for better writing than those books. When reading things that are close to his reading level, I occasionally ask him to take turns reading paragraphs or pages with me. I do need to be careful that I don't ask too much of him at these times though, because, as I've mentioned above, he has the tendency to withdraw completely if pushed too far.

 

We read picture books for bedtime reading occasionally. Many of the picture books we have have some sort of value beyond just being entertainment for little kids. Many of them include beautiful artwork, or a moral or historical lesson, or something to ponder. We take a lot of talking breaks when reading. "Why did she do that?" "How would that have made you feel?" "Wow, that's kinda cool!" "Ooooh scary!" "What should he have done? What would you have done?"

 

We are signed up for book-it this fall, but previous attempts at reward schemes have not worked in any other aspect of this child's life, so I'm not getting my hopes up, lol.

 

I will occasionally force him (in a strongly encouraging way) to read a sign we see when out, or a portion of a piece of mail, or some other important or interesting piece of paper.

 

I like to tell myself that he is slowing learning to like reading. I tell him encouraging things about all of the different stories and excitement that is to be had in books. When I read on my own, I sometimes laugh at something that happened or smile, or make other sounds, and if he's around, he wants to know what I just read about. Sometimes I'll pause and give him a brief summary. Many times he seems amazed that I am having that much fun/something that exciting is in a book.

 

[tdbates78]

We (DH and I) read aloud to them daily. One doesn't mind sometimes and the other flat on doesn't like it. I left her play with wiki stix or a stuffed toy to keep her hands busy but she still completely zones out. I still make her siyt there with the hopes that she is getting at least a little something out of it. She does have HF ASD. Neither one has ever liked story time :( We used to frequent B&N, the library etc for story times. No interest.

Edited June 13, 2017 by tdbates78

[wendyroo]

Yes, reading and narrating what they read are required daily subjects for my older boys.  

 

My 6 year old reads to me for ~15 minutes out of one of his assigned books and then orally narrates anything that interested him.  

 

My 8 year old practices reading aloud to me (~5 minutes) and then reads to himself from one of his assigned books (2 chapters or ~15 minutes) and writes 2 sentences of narration.

 

Wendy

[ExcitedMama]

I am bookworm too so I understand where you're coming from. What if you tried movies as a backward enticement to the book? I always make DS read or listen to a book before he sees the movie but if you are having trouble finding something to hold their interest would seeing it help? If they saw the first Harry Potter movie would they be interested in hearing you read it or the second one aloud? Or the Tinkerbell movies? Aren't there a bunch of fairy books for girls? Have you tried audio books? I also made DS listen to the whole book before I got him the audio book. I thought Peter Pan was just ok when I read it for the first time aloud to DS but we put in the audio book later for a road trip and it was compelling because of the voices done on the CD. He still loves that cd. He can't get enough of hearing Harry Potter aloud. I just got him an Amazon Dot and Audible so he can listen to it whenever he wants. What about nonfiction? Do either of them prefer hearing about real people for history? Or science? Animals? What about an American Girl doll? Would either of them want to read the books that went with the doll?

 

Is there anything they want that you could use bribery for? Reading = screen time? Reading so many books earns them...? Since they aren't excited by read alouds yet I would try really hard to find something they want to listen to. Until they are begging for more chapters it might be harder to find the right book to hook them to read on their own.

[SparklyUnicorn]

I created a lot of incentives and was very lenient with book choice.  At one point one of my kids mostly only read comic books.  I tried to cultivate reading as enjoyment rather than make it feel like a chore.  I think it helped. 

 

The only stuff I basically "made" them read was whatever needed to be read for our school work.  I did a lot of stuff as a read aloud. 

 

 

[nixpix5]

We (DH and I) read aloud to them daily. One doesn't mind sometimes and the other flat on doesn't like it. I left her play with wiki stix or a stuffed toy to keep her hands busy but she still completely zones out. I still make her siyt there with the hopes that she is getting at least a little something out of it. She does have HF ASD. Neither one has ever liked story time :( We used to frequent B&N, the library etc for story times. No interest.

I can relate. One of my twins has HF ASD as well. He likes to somersault in circles around the living room while I read or he draws. I started him out with small increments and worked up. I actually would have times I pulled him out separately and snuggled him and read to him. This helped increase his tolerance. He now really enjoys it but doesn't always remember the things his twin does. I know it is tough. You are doing the right thing mama even if it seems futile ;)

[Wheres Toto]

Yes.  

 

They are required to read for an hour a day.  Sometimes it's an assigned book for literature or history, and sometimes I just let them pick whatever the want.  I won't push specific books too often and I will let them try something different if they hate it.  With a series, I may ask them to read the first book and they don't have to go any further if they don't want to. 

 

With ds, I used to read him one chapter of a book at bedtime and if he wanted to read more before the next night, he'd have to read it himself.  That's what really started him reading on his own, with Magic Treehouse books (they are AWFUL to read aloud but ds loved them).

 

They're turning 10 and 12 in the next couple months, and this has worked well so far.  They won't choose to read at other times very often (exceptions were Harry Potter, Percy Jackson, Benedict Society, and Gregor) but they will extend their hour sometimes.  I allow them to read at night in bed if they want to stay up.

[Guest]

 

I created a lot of incentives and was very lenient with book choice.  At one point one of my kids mostly only read comic books.  I tried to cultivate reading as enjoyment rather than make it feel like a chore.  I think it helped. 

 

The only stuff I basically "made" them read was whatever needed to be read for our school work.  I did a lot of stuff as a read aloud. 

 

 

This is similar to what I do. My 9 year old was a dutiful student of phonics, then he was required to read me a single Aesop fable every day for school, and now he has a big ol' box of comics and two very indulgent older siblings who also went through the big ol' box of comics stage.

 

It's easier this time around, but I sympathize with how hard it can be to understand the normies. I can't remember not knowing how to read and one of my main motivations for wanting to homeschool before my kids were conceived was to protect them from my own experiences with "that horrible place called 'school' where they don't let you read!"

 

It's always been more important to me that my kids loved books than that they scored well on tests.

 

I spent more on those fool Babysitter's Club books for dd than I did on my car!

 

It turned out to be the best investment I ever made. She is a Journalist and a grad student in Philosophy. I remember wanting to haul that big messy box of comics out to the garbage can, though. You're doing fine, the normals are just that way. :)

[rocassie]

In general no, but all three of my kids love stories.  My oldest used to be very intimidated by the size of a book so I did pick some thick books (which I knew she would love one she started - Harry Potter being one) as required reading for school.  It only took her one chapter to get hooked and then she didn't want to put it down.

 

I did have a period when all three struggled with moving to more advanced reading, and I didn't push it.  DH or I still read to them as well as the kids will check out audiobooks.  Our bookshelves are all full of lots of books which they have free access to as well as DH and I read quite a bit as well.

 

At bedtime, they have about 30 minutes of free reading time with book lights otherwise it lights out and sleeping time.  The motivation to "stay up later" helped get us over the struggling readers.  

 

I'm not sure if this helps or not, but my kids have very little screen time and not a whole lot of outside, organized activities.  I most often find them reading when they want some respite from playing outside or interacting with their siblings or friends.

[stutterfish]

I created a lot of incentives and was very lenient with book choice.  At one point one of my kids mostly only read comic books.  I tried to cultivate reading as enjoyment rather than make it feel like a chore.  I think it helped. 

 

The only stuff I basically "made" them read was whatever needed to be read for our school work.  I did a lot of stuff as a read aloud. 

 

This.

 

I also don't get hung up on whether they are reading literature or non-fiction. I had a boy who exclusively read non-fiction. Even as a young child, many of his 'bedtime stories' were from non-fiction books.

 

I don't believe anyone of any age should be forced to read. Encouraged - yes. Forced or coerced - no.

[MerryAtHope]

My kids read to me until they were ready to read chapter books on their own. We just had 10-20 minutes where we sat down together and worked through a book or a passage. We did buddy reading when they were close but not quite independent yet, where they would read a paragraph or two, and then I would read a page or two, to help us move through a story.

 

I didn't force them to read outside of that time when they were young, but I did encourage looking at picture books for a short time each day (totally their choice whether to read or just enjoy the pictures), and read aloud to them (one of the best ways to develop a motivation for reading is to read high-interest books to your children.) Also, when they were about 8, I let them stay up an extra 30 minutes reading books in bed--and since that sounded like a "privilege" to them instead of a requirement, they were happy to look at books to get to stay up late.

 

Once they were reading independently, then I scheduled 30 minutes per day for their reading time as part of their school.

 

If they don't enjoy reading yet, they may need more instruction (they aren't ready either with regard to decoding or comprehension or both to read on their own) or easier material (it's not fun to read something at your instructional level--it's work! Think about what it's like to read technical manuals where words are unfamiliar or you have to sound them out etc...). Just because a student is technically capable of reading something, doesn't mean it's enjoyable yet, if that makes sense. But sometimes it can also just be a case of a child not wanting to sit still for reading (or sometimes if there's a lot of technology in the home, that can affect desire to read). So, if they're doing well with reading (sounds like it), just keep reading to them & providing high quality books they might be interested in. Maybe try mixing up the time of day when you have a reading time to see if that makes a difference.

 

I always loved to read (from at least 6 or 7), but my kids didn't enjoy it until they were a bit older--more like the 9-10 age range. 

 

Hang in there!

Edited June 13, 2017 by MerryAtHope

[Lori D.]

Identical to MerryAtHope --

 

- buddy reading as part of our school schedule (about 10 minutes in 1st grade, 15 minutes in 2nd grade, 20 min. in 3rd-4th grade, 25-30 minutes in 5th-6th grade, and about 40 minutes in 7th-8th grade)

- TONS of read alouds

- given an extra 30 minutes at night in bed for read free reading choices

- in the early elementary grades, free reading choices were often things like Where's Waldo and illustration-based works

 

While that's great that required reading for 1 hour a day worked for the above poster, it would have absolutely killed any enjoyment of books here. By not pushing too hard, doing a short amount of daily aloud reading together, keeping free reading FREE (their choice whether to read or not, and what to read), and doing loads of high-interest read alouds, we were able to keep reading as a pleasurable experience until DSs finally (along about age 10) started to find a few topics they were interested in reading about.

 

One other thought: having works that are BELOW their reading level available for free reading helps build confidence and fluency and helps reading not be so laborious to new readers (6-8yo) -- so, early stepped readers or similar works with very short text (1 sentence to just a few sentences) per page. Or works that are very heavy on illustrations -- picture books, graphic novels, comic books, seek and find books, etc. And if you're going to have a required solo reading time, then I'd keep it very short in the elementary grades -- similar to the times I listed above.

 

 

Alas, not everyone is a natural book-devourer -- I AM, so it's a mystery to me why it's not a natural activity for my DSs, ;) but it's just not. Quite honestly, while DSs always loved being read aloud to, neither was a natural reader, and neither found books to be high on their list of something they might pick to do as a pleasure activity. It took until about age 10 for each of them to finally find the type of books they liked to read (one liked mysteries and non-fiction, the other liked the Warriors cat series and then some other popcorn fluff fantasy series). Neither is a huge reader as young adults, but when they find something they like, they'll dig into it with interest.

 

 

I'll also add that you might want to keep one eye on your students to make sure that there isn't some sort of vision issue (need glasses, convergence issue, stealth dyslexia) that makes reading difficult or even painful, which would need to be addressed.

 

BEST of luck! Warmest regards, Lori D.

 

Edited June 13, 2017 by Lori D.

[JudoMom]

I do not require mine to read outside of school time.  Once they were fluent, I assigned literature to be read during school.  Most years, I have them read quite a bit for school.

However, they could stay up as late as they wanted if they were in bed reading books.  

My middle three are all readers, though it's typically just my ds13 who will read throughout the day instead of at bedtime (and he's known to carry his current book and a spare, just in case he finishes the first).  Just in the last couple of months, my eldest has become a reader.  My youngest had all four of his older brothers giving him the what-for last week when he was making derogatory comments about books :lol:.  I have no doubt he'll come around, because he does enjoy mythology, poetry, and a few other random books.

[Junie]

I don't require my children to read.  I have one who does not really like to read, but I see her with a book often enough to make me happy.  She likes to draw and write her own stories.

 

The Pizza Hut incentive program was good for her.  Pizza Hut lets you set your own goals.  I required the three who were eligible for the program to read as many books as their age.  (Dd6 had to read 6 books each month, etc.)  

[Finlandia]

Yes. My rising 2nd grader has "reading practice" with me and also required free reading time. Reading practice she reads slightly more challenging material that I select. Free reading is for a set amount of time and she can read whatever she chooses. currently I'm not requiring the free reading because she's working on several summer reading programs.

 

I think at the age of your twins it's important to still make them practice reading even if it's not enjoyable, at least for a few minutes each day. They are simply too young in their education to be done with learning to read well. They're also too young to have decided definitively that they don't like reading. They might not like it now simply because there are a lot of fun things that a 7 year old could be doing! 🙂

 

If you were paying for music lessons, would you make them practice? It's ok to make them practice reading.

[tdbates78]

Thanks everyone! I diligently read through each response.

 

I think I'm going to try to offer them the easier books (that I put away) because they are below their level. I would rather them read those than not want to read at all. I'm also going to take away the timer, at least for the summer. I may try having them read before bed, after our read-aloud time. Surely they would rather read than go to sleep!

 

I'm also going to try nonfiction for reading aloud. They do get a little enjoyment moutnof some of the Magic Treehouse books on natural disasters (Twister on Tuesday, the volcano one) so I'm going to try expanding on those.

[Ellie]

No. Never.

 

I read aloud to my children from good books, one chapter a day, right after lunch. I did not make them read to me, or try to artificially engage them. I just read to them, for enjoyment. We went to the library weekly; dc could check out as many books as they wanted or none at all, and all books were returned weekly, whether they had been read or not. I didn't suggest books to them, or comment on their choices (WRT reading level or anything). And we had our own books lying around the house which they were welcome to read...or not.

 

And that's it.

[SparklyUnicorn]

Thanks everyone! I diligently read through each response.

 

I think I'm going to try to offer them the easier books (that I put away) because they are below their level. I would rather them read those than not want to read at all. I'm also going to take away the timer, at least for the summer. I may try having them read before bed, after our read-aloud time. Surely they would rather read than go to sleep!

 

I'm also going to try nonfiction for reading aloud. They do get a little enjoyment moutnof some of the Magic Treehouse books on natural disasters (Twister on Tuesday, the volcano one) so I'm going to try expanding on those.

 

I credit Captain Underpants with turning my kids onto reading.  Lot of people poo on that idea, but it's true.  They branched out from there.  My older kid is 15 and you know what his go to options are for reading 99% of the time?  Classics.  Stuff I myself never read because frankly years ago they were difficult for me to read.  Those are his favorites.  He isn't still reading Captain Underpants.

 

Although for nostalgia sake we may go see the movie.  :laugh:

[madteaparty]

Yes, reading and narrating what they read are required daily subjects for my older boys.

 

My 6 year old reads to me for ~15 minutes out of one of his assigned books and then orally narrates anything that interested him.

 

My 8 year old practices reading aloud to me (~5 minutes) and then reads to himself from one of his assigned books (2 chapters or ~15 minutes) and writes 2 sentences of narration.

 

Wendy

Sorry to barge in, but what do you assign a 6 year old? My just turned 6 yr Old doesn't read indipendently really so I sit with her and ask her to read easy sentences or words. She dislikes this. On the other hand, she loves "reading" those Diary of wimpy kid books 🙄

[wendyroo]

Sorry to barge in, but what do you assign a 6 year old? My just turned 6 yr Old doesn't read indipendently really so I sit with her and ask her to read easy sentences or words. She dislikes this. On the other hand, she loves "reading" those Diary of wimpy kid books 🙄

 

My current 6 year old is reading at a high 2nd grade level, so for him I assign Frog and Toad, Nate the Great, Sam the Minuteman, Henry and Mudge, etc.  He has a large tub of reading books to choose from that includes all sorts of genres at approximately his reading level: poetry, Let's Read and Find Out nonfiction books, cheap leveled readers that I've picked up in the Target dollar bins, We Both Read books, the upper level Bob Books, etc.

 

Before he was an independent reader, I filled his tub with the easiest books I could find that still had a story (even if that meant I had to help with the harder words).  We like the All About Reading readers, Bob Books, We Both Read books, this series of Scholastic phonics boxed sets, Dear Dragon books, etc.  Plus, I always encouraged him to get any easy readers that interested him out of the library.  At first I would read 95% of the words and just point to a couple on each page that were within his grasp.  Before long, though, he was reading more and more of the book and I was just helping with occasional words.

 

Wendy 

[SKL]

Yes, because I remember being a kid and discovering that I enjoyed some books that I was forced to read.  :)  Also because my reluctant reader absolutely needs the practice in order to keep up academically.

 

I did back off this past year.  I used to insist on a significant amount of reading almost every day, but now I allow almost complete freedom in terms of quantity and content.  I use incentives to encourage reading, and I use audiobooks and read-alouds to ensure she's not missing out on good literature.

 

With my early reader, she had lots of enthusiasm on her own, but I did occasionally push a little to get her over some confidence humps.

 

I don't regret requiring my kids to read to the extent I did.  I don't believe it made either of them less likely to enjoy reading.  I believe that for my reluctant reader, it made her more likely to find the types of books that she can enjoy, and to view reading as one of many free-time options.  Yes, I occasionally walk in on her reading a book just for fun.  It's a great thing to see.  :)

[Finlandia]

Thanks everyone! I diligently read through each response.

 

I think I'm going to try to offer them the easier books (that I put away) because they are below their level. I would rather them read those than not want to read at all. I'm also going to take away the timer, at least for the summer. I may try having them read before bed, after our read-aloud time. Surely they would rather read than go to sleep!

 

I'm also going to try nonfiction for reading aloud. They do get a little enjoyment moutnof some of the Magic Treehouse books on natural disasters (Twister on Tuesday, the volcano one) so I'm going to try expanding on those.

We really like the magic tree house nonfiction books (Fact Trackers/Research Guides). I think they are great for new readers. And letting kids read books that are "too easy" helps develop fluency, so good choice! The same thing goes for rereading the same books over and over again, that's a good thing too!

Edited June 14, 2017 by Finlandia

[ReadingMama1214]

Yes. DD is required to read aloud to me once a day. It's not something I have to force though. She'll also read aloud to her little brother throughout the day. But now that it's summer she has to read aloud before getting screen time.

[Lori D.]

Thanks everyone! I diligently read through each response.

 

I think I'm going to try to offer them the easier books (that I put away) because they are below their level. I would rather them read those than not want to read at all. I'm also going to take away the timer, at least for the summer. I may try having them read before bed, after our read-aloud time. Surely they would rather read than go to sleep!

 

I'm also going to try nonfiction for reading aloud. They do get a little enjoyment moutnof some of the Magic Treehouse books on natural disasters (Twister on Tuesday, the volcano one) so I'm going to try expanding on those.

 

I think that will help a lot! Who wants to always have to read books that are *work* to read, or require a lot of concentration. As adults, we all have our "popcorn" reads and lighter reading for enjoyment. ;)

 

And also branching out in genres and subjects for read-alouds -- can't hurt at all, and very likely might help your DC find more kinds of books they like!

 

You also might keep read-aloud time short -- but do several sessions scattered throughout the day. And also allow fidget toys, "chewie" fidgets, coloring pages, or sitting/laying/moving on a big yoga ball to help them focus. Some children absolutely need movement in order to concentrate on read-alouds and any kind of focused seat work. :)

 

Good luck! And wishing you all an enjoyable reading journey! :) Warmest regards, Lori D.

[BlueWren]

We do a lot of shared reading. We snuggle on the couch or bed and read aloud to each other. It started off with DS reading once sentence from each paragraph or page, then we'd alternate paragraphs, then pages.  One night when he was about 8 yo I was reading aloud a bedtime story to him and his little brother; I was tired and finished reading on a cliffhanger.  They begged me to read more, I said I was too tired but that DS could read more if he wanted to.  He did :) He read until both boys were satisfied with where the story was going (not on a cliffhanger lol).  Since then, he reads aloud to us as much as he wants.

 

He doesn't like reading by himself (and I don't force it); he enjoys the combination of a good story and sharing it with others.  

Edited June 14, 2017 by BlueWren

[LMD]

Yes, I force it until fluent. They have assigned reading for school.

Once they can read really well, I have a lot of high interest books around for general reading. They go through phases but generally love to read.

My 6 year old isn't quite fluent yet, so he whinges. But he adores being read to (one on one, he flipped out at story time), I am confident that he will also enjoy reading once it isn't so much work, Once he tips from 'learning to read' to 'reading to learn'...

 

Eta- and yes I still read aloud a lot.

Edited June 14, 2017 by LMD

[heartlikealion]

I think for each family you will have to decide what is best, but in your case I might (I know this sounds awful) be tempted to make an incentive. When you finish a book you get X or when you read so many books/pages etc. you get something. But they only compete with themselves, not each other. When I was a child I hated to read. We had a class contest for reading and I was very discouraged. I knew I couldn't catch up to the big readers so I was not motivated.

 

My mother worked in a library. She said she felt like one of my teachers ruined reading for me because I had to log pages and minutes. That definitely didn't help LOL.

 

When I got older I enjoyed the summer reading program. It's been years since I read a fiction book. I mostly read for information. Self help books and such.

 

Ds does like to read, but didn't always. He is 9. We didn't do the summer reading program every year. He is doing it this year. He had to choose a goal for himself and he can earn prizes along the way. I'm less concerned about how much he is reading and more concerned about how much he is retaining. He didn't pass the last quiz he took (bookadventure.com). Your children might be interested in the pizza hut Book It program. There's one for homeschoolers and it's a year long program. I posted a link on the chat board the other day.

[PeterPan]

We (DH and I) read aloud to them daily. One doesn't mind sometimes and the other flat on doesn't like it. I left her play with wiki stix or a stuffed toy to keep her hands busy but she still completely zones out. I still make her siyt there with the hopes that she is getting at least a little something out of it. She does have HF ASD. Neither one has ever liked story time :( We used to frequent B&N, the library etc for story times. No interest.

 

 

Thanks everyone! I diligently read through each response.

 

I think I'm going to try to offer them the easier books (that I put away) because they are below their level. I would rather them read those than not want to read at all. I'm also going to take away the timer, at least for the summer. I may try having them read before bed, after our read-aloud time. Surely they would rather read than go to sleep!

 

I'm also going to try nonfiction for reading aloud. They do get a little enjoyment moutnof some of the Magic Treehouse books on natural disasters (Twister on Tuesday, the volcano one) so I'm going to try expanding on those.

 

Hmm, my ds has ASD and dyslexia, and I guess I'll just be brave and disagree with seemingly every other poster in the entire thread. :D But, you know, it's just food for thought. :)

 

1. Given the labels, they possibly have some language delays. You can look at your testing and see. So one has the autism. Have they both been tested? Sometimes there are things just from being a twin, premie, etc. Language is a HUGE issue in our house. My ds has a 99th percentile vocabulary (seriously!), so you really, really don't expect him to have the SIGNIFICANT gaps in understanding and expression that he has. We just had more evals done, and they've now diagnosed him with an expressive/receptive language delay. What I've found with my ds is that his reading spontaneously takes off when we work on language and it pulls back when we pull back on language work. I think the language piece explains the observations you'll get from people about later bloom time. But remember, language is not something you have to sit around and wait for. You can go to Super Duper, buy materials, and actively work on it! Our SLP just sent me a 12 page study (that I haven't had a chance to read) on the connection between language comprehension and academics. You cannot expect their academics to be there if the language is not there to support it. In my ds' case, it's discrepancy that is an issue. He can't do gifted level work with 25th percentile language scores, even if the scores aren't low enough for the school to care.

 

2. Um, I have no two. Even Barton, of Barton Spelling and Reading (the big canon, what you buy for dyslexia) says it comes, that you shouldn't have to FORCE it. She was really cautioning me not to FORCE it with my ds, when I asked why he in theory could but wouldn't. She said work on the language, find where the glitch is.

 

3. Autism does have a funky effect on engagement. Frankly, it sounds like you might have some of that going on. It sounds like maybe MTH, though in general fine stuff, isn't really within reach for them. You might want to back up to picture books. The pictures can aid comprehension and engagement. MTH is all words, not enough pictures. I would back up to picture books. It's the advice our behaviorist gave us at the age your dc are. My ds has a high IQ with ASD, and for us 7.5 meant picture books. 

 

4. Nonfiction vs. fiction. Hmm, they're different comprehension and social thinking issues. I would do both, not one or the other. You really want to be pursuing both.

 

I would definitely back up on the read alouds and see if you can get more engagement. I would back up and refine that. When we started a year ago with picture books with ABA, he was a total bear. Now he's pretty good. He had listened to audiobooks for a long time, but something about a human reading was actually harder. I don't know. The audiobooks that are recorded are, for him, sort of a stim. He listens to them over and over and memorizes them. Then he scripts them (retelling segments from them verbatim, sometimes in funky voices). He does that less now. Scripting is a language learning stage. But still, it's a stim for him. I don't know why more traditional read alouds were so challenging. I'd encourage you to go with things with picture supports and engage with them. Make puppets of the characters, act them out, retell. Back up on the level and increase the support (pictures), so you can go into the social thinking, do retellings, etc. The more you do of that, the better. There's a book Nurturing Narratives that goes into this.

 

I just got this book to do with my ds. Although it looks simple, you might find it's actually quite challenging for your dds. Read, Think, Cut & Paste: Evan Moor: 9781557990280: Amazon.com: Books  Here's another sequencing book they could do profitably Sequencing: Cut and Paste Activities: Evan Moor: 0023472001245: Amazon.com: Books Even if it's simple and obvious, remember the point is the LANGUAGE, them being able to make a NARRATIVE about what is in the pictures. Let them take turns saying sentences to tell it, write the whole thing out on to big paper, illustrate... You can have fun! 

 

These are the pre skills that they need to do basic narrations. Or can they already do narrations? Narrations reflect comprehension, and their lack of engagement with the read alouds is reflecting the lack of comprehension. So I'm saying back up, use the tools. Reading reading (them, books) comes together when all the pieces are there. For my ds, I try to sneak in reading other ways. I'll use joke books, the Wii, road signs, labels on products, the small amounts on a math worksheet with word problems, etc. I'm sneaky that way! So I know his reading is COMING, and I know that when it's ready to come together it will.

 

You could ask ok, should we force it, is it just that they don't realize how much they'll like it, they're too busy, blah blah... When the dc has autism, I think it's good to back up and ask if all the preparatory/foundational skills are REALLY THERE before you get to the should I force it question. I let one of my ABA workers force reading (partner read, blah blah) because she really wanted to. All it did was make him start saying he hated reading. A kid who, at the end of 1st, was decoding at a 3rd grade level and overall reading at a 6th grade level (per testing) but choosing NOT to was then saying he HATED it. I just fired that worker. He's either ready to or he's not, and I'm not going to make him HATE it just because I'm not smart enough to recognize all the pieces and let it come together.

 

So I give my ds tons of audiobooks and I'm working on foundational stuff. And I do sneaky in tiny bits here and there, sure. But for books, for now, I'm waiting. And someone can say that's wrong, but I figure if the foundation (99th percentile vocabulary, TONS of audiobooks, solid decoding, working on language, RAN/RAS work, comprehension work, etc.) is really there, it will probably come together fine when it's ready. I'm guessing that's going to be a while, probably 5th or 6th, because that seems to be the way of things. 

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Edited June 14, 2017 by OhElizabeth

[Guest]

Sorry to barge in, but what do you assign a 6 year old? My just turned 6 yr Old doesn't read indipendently really so I sit with her and ask her to read easy sentences or words. She dislikes this. On the other hand, she loves "reading" those Diary of wimpy kid books 🙄

Sitting and reading together is exactly the thing to do.

 

When he was ready these were my kids first so reads

 

 

https://www.christianbook.com/science-readers-parent-level-a-nonfiction/liza-charlesworth/9780545650922/pd/650922?dv=%7Bdevice%7D&en=google&event=SHOP&kw=homeschool-0-20%7C650922&p=1179710&gclid=CjwKEAjwvYPKBRCYr5GLgNCJ_jsSJABqwfw7XnLMSefmK9klLm6XZLc4sEFyhSYnTdcDqhOy0_AH9BoCemPw_wcB

[Bluegoat]

Well, my middle daughter has assigned reading time for school.  She doesn't always pick up books to read on her own, so she needs the practice.  When she is reading more on her own I will often let her skip school reading time.

 

Outside of that, I encourage but don't insist.  I'd like them to have the opportunity to get to love books, which requires exposure, experince, appealing choices.  With dd9 we've had to do more practice and buddy reading to make it appealing to her.

 

However - one thing I've come to learn over the years is that some people aren't big readers for pleasure, and that is ok.  They may do other things that are just as valuble.  My dh reads recreationally a lot less than me, which is why he has time to do things like go fishing and build telescopes.  My daughter who isn't as big a reader takes after him in most ways, so perhaps she'll be more of a do-er in her spare time.

[tdbates78]

Hmm, my ds has ASD and dyslexia, and I guess I'll just be brave and disagree with seemingly every other poster in the entire thread. :D But, you know, it's just food for thought. :)

 

1. Given the labels, they possibly have some language delays. You can look at your testing and see. So one has the autism. Have they both been tested? Sometimes there are things just from being a twin, premie, etc. Language is a HUGE issue in our house. My ds has a 99th percentile vocabulary (seriously!), so you really, really don't expect him to have the SIGNIFICANT gaps in understanding and expression that he has. We just had more evals done, and they've now diagnosed him with an expressive/receptive language delay. What I've found with my ds is that his reading spontaneously takes off when we work on language and it pulls back when we pull back on language work. I think the language piece explains the observations you'll get from people about later bloom time. But remember, language is not something you have to sit around and wait for. You can go to Super Duper, buy materials, and actively work on it! Our SLP just sent me a 12 page study (that I haven't had a chance to read) on the connection between language comprehension and academics. You cannot expect their academics to be there if the language is not there to support it. In my ds' case, it's discrepancy that is an issue. He can't do gifted level work with 25th percentile language scores, even if the scores aren't low enough for the school to care.

 

2. Um, I have no two. Even Barton, of Barton Spelling and Reading (the big canon, what you buy for dyslexia) says it comes, that you shouldn't have to FORCE it. She was really cautioning me not to FORCE it with my ds, when I asked why he in theory could but wouldn't. She said work on the language, find where the glitch is.

 

3. Autism does have a funky effect on engagement. Frankly, it sounds like you might have some of that going on. It sounds like maybe MTH, though in general fine stuff, isn't really within reach for them. You might want to back up to picture books. The pictures can aid comprehension and engagement. MTH is all words, not enough pictures. I would back up to picture books. It's the advice our behaviorist gave us at the age your dc are. My ds has a high IQ with ASD, and for us 7.5 meant picture books.

 

4. Nonfiction vs. fiction. Hmm, they're different comprehension and social thinking issues. I would do both, not one or the other. You really want to be pursuing both.

 

I would definitely back up on the read alouds and see if you can get more engagement. I would back up and refine that. When we started a year ago with picture books with ABA, he was a total bear. Now he's pretty good. He had listened to audiobooks for a long time, but something about a human reading was actually harder. I don't know. The audiobooks that are recorded are, for him, sort of a stim. He listens to them over and over and memorizes them. Then he scripts them (retelling segments from them verbatim, sometimes in funky voices). He does that less now. Scripting is a language learning stage. But still, it's a stim for him. I don't know why more traditional read alouds were so challenging. I'd encourage you to go with things with picture supports and engage with them. Make puppets of the characters, act them out, retell. Back up on the level and increase the support (pictures), so you can go into the social thinking, do retellings, etc. The more you do of that, the better. There's a book Nurturing Narratives that goes into this.

 

I just got this book to do with my ds. Although it looks simple, you might find it's actually quite challenging for your dds. Read, Think, Cut & Paste: Evan Moor: 9781557990280: Amazon.com: Books Here's another sequencing book they could do profitably Sequencing: Cut and Paste Activities: Evan Moor: 0023472001245: Amazon.com: Books Even if it's simple and obvious, remember the point is the LANGUAGE, them being able to make a NARRATIVE about what is in the pictures. Let them take turns saying sentences to tell it, write the whole thing out on to big paper, illustrate... You can have fun!

 

These are the pre skills that they need to do basic narrations. Or can they already do narrations? Narrations reflect comprehension, and their lack of engagement with the read alouds is reflecting the lack of comprehension. So I'm saying back up, use the tools. Reading reading (them, books) comes together when all the pieces are there. For my ds, I try to sneak in reading other ways. I'll use joke books, the Wii, road signs, labels on products, the small amounts on a math worksheet with word problems, etc. I'm sneaky that way! So I know his reading is COMING, and I know that when it's ready to come together it will.

 

You could ask ok, should we force it, is it just that they don't realize how much they'll like it, they're too busy, blah blah... When the dc has autism, I think it's good to back up and ask if all the preparatory/foundational skills are REALLY THERE before you get to the should I force it question. I let one of my ABA workers force reading (partner read, blah blah) because she really wanted to. All it did was make him start saying he hated reading. A kid who, at the end of 1st, was decoding at a 3rd grade level and overall reading at a 6th grade level (per testing) but choosing NOT to was then saying he HATED it. I just fired that worker. He's either ready to or he's not, and I'm not going to make him HATE it just because I'm not smart enough to recognize all the pieces and let it come together.

 

So I give my ds tons of audiobooks and I'm working on foundational stuff. And I do sneaky in tiny bits here and there, sure. But for books, for now, I'm waiting. And someone can say that's wrong, but I figure if the foundation (99th percentile vocabulary, TONS of audiobooks, solid decoding, working on language, RAN/RAS work, comprehension work, etc.) is really there, it will probably come together fine when it's ready. I'm guessing that's going to be a while, probably 5th or 6th, because that seems to be the way of things.

Save

Save

Thank you for a of your suggestions! My ASD daughter is very brught and smart, but had a sugnificant soeech delay. Last full eval we had, a dew years back, she was 24 months behind average. She very mych struggles with comprehension, although I do belueve that is caused mostly by not paying attention.

 

The Maguc Treehouse I do as read alouds. No way could I get either one to read a book without colorful pictures at this point, even though I believe they could.

 

Audio books are hit-and-miss. They tend to tune most if those out too. They are very active kids. We dont do a ton of screen time, although I let them watch some in the afternoons so I can lay down, as I have health issues that cause fatigue.

 

We do incentives. During our school year we write doen each read book and after 20 books they get $. Now, in our summer break, reading is part of their daily chores and they get $ at the end of each week. I will look into Book It. I loved that as a kid myself....but my girls also dont like pizza :p

 

I kind of feel at a loss. I think that all of the required reading at PS, coupled with flat out not liking PS, caused a lot of detriment. They look at books as school and not something for any kind of enjoyment.

[tdbates78]

Also to add: My ASD daughter does get speech during the week. Her speech therapist is wonderful and they work on comprehesion, vocabulary etc.

 

FWIW they were born 2 months early and have both struggled throughout the years. Late crawlers and walkers, speech delays etc. They strike me as quite immature compared to other children their age.

Edited June 14, 2017 by tdbates78

[SanDiegoMom]

Yes- all of my kids had to read - to earn screen time or other priviliges. At one desperate point I even offered a dollar per book. But I also worked really hard to find out what their interests were, I allowed one to read below grade level due to fear of intense situations in literature (so encyclopedia brown vs anything fantasy with battles) and I researched like crazy to always find the best match-ups. They were much more reluctant when younger (7-9 years old) but now at 11 they read widely from kids fiction to adult non fiction. And I only ended spending like four bucks.

 

The nighttime reading was the best help, though - all three kids ALWAYS read before bed - either with me or alone. It is just a habit that now they can't do without.

[Lori D.]

Also to add: My ASD daughter does get speech during the week. Her speech therapist is wonderful and they work on comprehesion, vocabulary etc.

 

FWIW they were born 2 months early and have both struggled throughout the years. Late crawlers and walkers, speech delays etc. They strike me as quite immature compared to other children their age.

 

The beauty of homeschooling is that you can select materials to match their individual needs. :) So right now, your DDs may be working more at a beginning/middle of 1st grade level, rather than at the level of end of 1st grade/start of 2nd grade. That's okay! Far better to meet them where they are, take your time and go at a slower pace as needed, and lay a solid foundation in reading, writing and math.

 

Don't compare with other homeschooler's children, as that just brings stress.

 

If you do any "comparing", make it about tracking progress for each student -- "compare" how each DD is doing now, next to where each DD was developmentally and academically 6 months ago... 12 months ago... 18 months ago. Is progress being made? Yea! That's the goal! (And just to help allay any worries: by along about 5th grade, most delayed readers are at the same level as the early readers.)

 

You have a lot of extras on your plate with the speech therapy and possible other delays, so relax a bit and let your DDs have access to lots of below-reading level books for practice in building endurance and comprehension, and for developing a strong sense of success and that reading is *enjoyable*, and not always an effort or a chore. :)

 

So glad your DDs were born safely (even if early ;) ), and are doing good, hard work and are catching up. BEST of luck in your homeschooling adventures! Warmest regards, Lori D.

[tdbates78]

LoriD, you are so sweet and helpful! Thank you! Yes, I admit to comparing even when I know I shouldn't. And I'm (more than) a tad bit jealous of all of those with kids that love to read. Hopefully, with time and patience we too will get there. Homeschooling was accidental and a big change but they are thriving in so many ways. I wish I would have taken time to deschool, especially since they had such a difficult first half of 1st grade at PS, but we are a enjoying our summer break and the girls love being home with me for school.

[fralala]

Some things that worked here:

 

I took my then-6 year old to the library and sort of grimaced at some of the popular titles I saw there and said she could choose anything she wanted, but please whatever she did don't choose those books because they contained some bad language and kids doing bad things and I wanted her to read about nice children behaving well and speaking properly. At least that sparked her curiosity a little bit.

 

I began writing up menus before meals where she had to check the boxes of what she wanted. I included plenty of adjectives and more choices than I normally would (I could usually pretty freely offer a range of items like "steamed broccoli spears arranged on a bed of lettuce with a squeeze of lemon juice on top" without worrying that I'd actually have to prepare them; salt and pepper and other condiments got their own boxes).

 

I began writing up choices of activities we could do together and having her select one for each day of the week.

 

I began writing her little notes and putting them in different places.

 

I wrote (very short) books about her and her siblings-- the stories of when they were younger and also silly made-up things-- with photographs of them in it. They LOVE photo books. This takes considerable more effort, although all these things require a bit of motivation.

 

One day I had laryngitis and couldn't speak (okay, it was one of many days, because I seem to wear myself out and lose my voice more frequently than I'd like) and I had to write everything I wanted to say to her on an index card. She actually liked that game so much, especially because it felt kind of like a whisper no one else could hear. (Not sure how it'd work with twins; I might secretly plan with other adults in your life to do something along the lines of an index card game where, for instance, their dad is sitting reading and you write a big note to the kids saying, "Top secret! What do you want to make Dad for Father's Day?" or something like that.)

 

I think I came up with a few other things, too, but this is a long thread and you've gotten a lot of ideas and advice-- in any case, this is all to say that I have never forced a child to read, but I have been frustrated and fearful and laid awake at night worrying about how I could get a child to read while finding the activity enjoyable and managed to come up with a few things other than just offering books.

[CadenceSophia]

No, outside of what I considered reading lessons as part of school. It did take my oldest until he was almost 9 to really start moving though books and he completely skipped many levels and went right to Percy Jackson. At first I wasn't even sure he understood what he was reading and less than 6 months later he was reading up to 200pgs a day.

The idea of a large amount of forced reading sounds miserable to me. I'm surprised so many people require it so young, but maybe I am just lucky. I never worried that my kids wouldn't love to read if they were capable so we just kept working on that. (Elizabeth's Phonics lessons may have had a lot to do with it!)

[MyLife]

So many good comments in this thread. I personally would keep their reading time SHORT. Maybe start with 7 minutes and slowly work up. Even though quality books are ideal, let them read some twaddle. My son enjoys reading SpongeBob Books and Pokemon Books (yikes!). Keep reading aloud to them.