Popular Post FaithManor Posted April 24, 2017 Popular Post Share Posted April 24, 2017 Uncle and my cousin, his daughter, did this super human thing - they should get capes and trophies - and kept the dramatic elements in line. It was amazing. I did three things that leave me at peace with it. I provided gorgeous music for the funeral, provided lunch for the whole family, and I decorated the church in a woodland, trout fishing theme. Everyone loved it and found it so peaceful and serene. Despite our huge issues, I tried to bring out the best elements about my father, and the things he was passionate about. I do not know how mom did it. Truly. 325 people and I think she greeted every single one. She is exhausted, but sis has her snuggled in a recliner sound asleep. Unfortunately for mom it doesn't end. She got a phone call this morning that her sister who has terminal colon cancer is likely to pass away in the next 48 hrs. We convinced her that nothing would come of her taking off tonight, and then in exhaustion falling asleep at the wheel, so she agreed to wait until tomorrow to go. My sister and brother in law are going to drive her there, and she is agreeing to it which is kind of shocking. I ran on pure adrenaline today. Now I can feel my body crashing so I am in my own recliner pooping out with my family to watch a movie and eat leftovers. My nephew G and his wife offered to let mom come and live with them which was incredibly sweet. I do not think mom would make a permanent move, and it is too soon for her to consider making plans. However, she did indicate that "snowbirding" there -Lawton OK - was something she would enjoy. We are all being very encouraging of this idea. Schizophrenic aunt turned up and was okay so that was also a relief! The only real downside is that my parent's apparently crazy pastor spent 25 minutes of the funeral preaching hell, fire, and brimstone, and even managed to somehow work in some comments about rape and murder!!! Three fishing buddies who were supposed to get to make remarks during the funeral, were not allowed to speak because the nutter would not surrender the pulpit. We are all VERY offended. I requested that the sound man who was recording the funeral, cut out the entire sermon when he makes copies. Good grief! So bizarrely inappropriate to do to a grieving family on top of which one of my cousins who was raped years ago had listen to that! One other kind of bizarre thing. A man showed up, father of a guy I briefly dated in high school, and sought my husband out to tell him what his son was doing in life! Just weird. Dh handled it well, but honestly it was kind of uncomfortable, and had forgotten that I had ever even gone out with that boy. It was something's four dates and done. This man acted like I had practically been a member of the family. I wonder, given his age, if there was some dementia or something so maybe he thought I was someone else. But I made it. Dh was a rock, my boys were awesome, uncle and cousin win the relatives of the year award. I honestly expected so much worse. Thank you to everyone here who has helped me through this. Your kind words, and thoughtful, sage advice will stay with me forever. 54 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Catwoman Posted April 24, 2017 Share Posted April 24, 2017 Thank you for the update, Faith. Now go get some rest! :grouphug: 4 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
maize Posted April 24, 2017 Share Posted April 24, 2017 (edited) Ugh to the sermon, but hurray for everything else going as smoothly as could be hoped! I hope you are able to relax and rest tonight. Edited April 24, 2017 by maize 1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Twigs Posted April 24, 2017 Share Posted April 24, 2017 Thanks for the update. Hope you get some rest. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
idnib Posted April 24, 2017 Share Posted April 24, 2017 Take a well-deserved rest! And I'm sorry to hear about your mom's sister. When she does pass, may it be peacefully. :grouphug: Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
lmrich Posted April 24, 2017 Share Posted April 24, 2017 I hope you can get some peace and rest. Many hugs! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Jane in NC Posted April 24, 2017 Share Posted April 24, 2017 May you find some well deserved rest and peace in the days ahead. Hugs, Jane Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
catz Posted April 24, 2017 Share Posted April 24, 2017 :grouphug: I buried my father 2 years ago this month. I was so glad when the funeral was over! I'm glad the drama was low and hoping for peace and rest for you. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest Posted April 24, 2017 Share Posted April 24, 2017 Bummer on the pastor, sheeeeesh. It sounds like everything else went about as well as it could have, but your poor mom :(. I hope she gets some rest before having to deal with her sister. That's just awful the way those events stacked up for her. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
LifeLovePassion Posted April 24, 2017 Share Posted April 24, 2017 I'm sorry for your loss. Glad things went well for you though. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
PrincessMommy Posted April 24, 2017 Share Posted April 24, 2017 I'm glad it turned out mostly good. Sorry about the pastor. That is bizarre. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
heartlikealion Posted April 24, 2017 Share Posted April 24, 2017 I think that's so special that you provided the music. :) Thanks for the update. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Spryte Posted April 24, 2017 Share Posted April 24, 2017 ((Hugs)) to you. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Liz CA Posted April 25, 2017 Share Posted April 25, 2017 You must be so relieved it's over - and went so well. Now rest and process. If your aunt passes, will you have to travel? Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Scarlett Posted April 25, 2017 Share Posted April 25, 2017 I glad it went as well as it did. You can rest now. :grouphug: :grouphug: Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Ottakee Posted April 25, 2017 Share Posted April 25, 2017 Glad it went well. Funerals are so tough....And even more so with unique family Dynamics. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
displace Posted April 25, 2017 Share Posted April 25, 2017 Hoping for peace for you. I'm glad it went as well as it did and you were able to avoid some issues. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
TravelingChris Posted April 25, 2017 Share Posted April 25, 2017 Wow what an inappropriate funeral sermon! Very happy that you were able to play the music and that everything except the sermon apparently went well. Good news that your mother is considering going to Ok for at least part of the year. I am sure that is a blessing for you. Rest, rest and more rest for you. 1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Melissa in Australia Posted April 25, 2017 Share Posted April 25, 2017 Hugs. My thoughts are with you Hugs Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
EMS83 Posted April 25, 2017 Share Posted April 25, 2017 :grouphug: :grouphug: :grouphug: Comfort in the quiet moments, for your mom, particularly. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
AnnE-girl Posted April 25, 2017 Share Posted April 25, 2017 Hopefully the crazy sermon will just be one of those family stories that everyone can shake their heads at someday. I hope you are able to get some rest and peace now that it is over. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
gardenmom5 Posted April 25, 2017 Share Posted April 25, 2017 hugs. it's draining. allow yourself to rest and recharge. 1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Anne in CA Posted April 25, 2017 Share Posted April 25, 2017 Even though you had some glitches (that sermon would have made me really mad) you sound like you are really on the right path. I'm so glad there was no other drama. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
creekland Posted April 25, 2017 Share Posted April 25, 2017 Faith, I hope you are getting some well deserved and much needed rest. Pastors like that give such a bad image of Christianity (sigh), but like a PP, hopefully someday y'all can laugh about his craziness. I'm glad the rest went well and send best wishes to your mom (and you) with the news about your aunt. :grouphug: 4 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
OneStepAtATime Posted April 25, 2017 Share Posted April 25, 2017 Glad it is over, glad it went well (except for the weird inappropriate pastor) and so glad you and your mom can rest for a tiny bit. And a huge round of applause for all the effort you put in. I'm in awe. (On a side note, I remember attending the funeral of an elderly neighbor a few years back. Her normal pastor was unavailable. The funeral home got someone else last minute that didn't know her. Young guy. He waxed on ad nauseum about how it was really inconvenient to have to come in and perform a service for someone he didn't know and how much he missed his dead relative and how important his family was to him but they didn't treat him very well, etc. Uh...o.k. :confused1: ) 1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
lauraw4321 Posted April 25, 2017 Share Posted April 25, 2017 I also had a weird funeral experience: a friend died young. She was an agnostic. The preacher did a fire and brimstone funeral. I was physically hurting for her widower. Fortunately (?) he was so overcome with grief that he seemed not to notice. I'm glad it's over. I hope you get a break from the stress. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
El... Posted April 25, 2017 Share Posted April 25, 2017 Your decorating sounds lovely and sweet. I hope you get some good rest! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
FaithManor Posted April 25, 2017 Author Share Posted April 25, 2017 Glad it is over, glad it went well (except for the weird inappropriate pastor) and so glad you and your mom can rest for a tiny bit. And a huge round of applause for all the effort you put in. I'm in awe. (On a side note, I remember attending the funeral of an elderly neighbor a few years back. Her normal pastor was unavailable. The funeral home got someone else last minute that didn't know her. Young guy. He waxed on ad nauseum about how it was really inconvenient to have to come in and perform a service for someone he didn't know and how much he missed his dead relative and how important his family was to him but they didn't treat him very well, etc. Uh...o.k. :confused1: ) Yowza! 1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Nan in Mass Posted April 25, 2017 Share Posted April 25, 2017 I hope you got some rest last night and that all the other details take care of themselves smoothly and peacefully. Hugs Nan Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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