Do your kids do "scripted" play...

[5hskids]

Just wanting other peoples view on this. My husband thinks its weird but I guess its normal to me lol.

When my 4 children play they do this scripted thing like....and you said this....and I did that...and then you laughed really loud...or and then you ran away...

It drives my husband crazy that they can't just play the role they choose like if you're the dr. Just be the dr. Or the cook or whatever they choose. We were talking about when we played pretend as kids we didn't play like they do for ex. If they are playing superheroes they would say something like..."And then I saved you from a falling building and you said oh thanks for saving me. Instead of just acting it out they narrate everything they're doing and as far as I can remember thats how they've always played...anyone else do this as a kid or does your kid (s) play like this?

[J-rap]

Haha, that's funny!  :)  I don't remember my kids playing that way, but they certainly had other quirky ways of playing!  Like whenever they played with their little plastic 2-inch high people (probably every day, for years), they would define all of the powers their particular people had before they started playing with them, and it always ended with "and every other power."  This went on every. single. day.  They would spend so much time discussing the powers their people had, and in the end they of course had every other power anyway.  Why waste time doing all of that?  Just jump in and play!  haha  Of course they're all grown up now and think it's sooo funny whenever they happen to think of it.

[reign]

Yes!!!! I hate it so so so much. My girls play this way with our neighbor. I really dislike when they tell the other person what to say.

 

"I was walking down the corridor and Snape jumps out and you say "watch out! He's behind you" and then I'll say blah blah blah"

 

They will jump on our trampoline for an hour making up the game and never actually play. It wouldn't be so horrible if there wasn't also whining and fighting about storylines. This is less of a problem if the neighbor isn't around.

[Tawlas]

My kids do this so much!  I find it's mostly when my oldest is playing with one of the two youngest, but not always.  The two little ones do it sometimes as well when they play puppies.  I'm always, like, really?  You need to tell her to bark and whine?  Can't she just do it?  

 

It's weird but I remember doing it vaguely as a child myself so . . . 

[Targhee]

Yes! Mostly my youngest two girls. Their friends do too. I think my sister and I used to as well. Totally normal.

[5hskids]

I wish I could "like" y'alls post.😂😂😂

I'm always telling my DH to leave them alone they may grow up to be a writer/author. He's always like why do they tell each other what to do 😲. I think it's comical listening to their detailed ideas. It's just way different than how we played. We always just picked who we wanted to be and went with it. Haha

[mamakelly]

Yes!! My 9 year old plays like this, it drives me bonkers!!

[Renai]

Yeah, it's natural for some kids. I work in prek and often come across kids that play this way. Sometimes, it becomes a precursor to more impromptu play. My oldest dd didn't play so much this way when younger, but my younger dd will (age 6), even with me!

[Ausmumof3]

Just wanting other peoples view on this. My husband thinks its weird but I guess its normal to me lol.

When my 4 children play they do this scripted thing like....and you said this....and I did that...and then you laughed really loud...or and then you ran away...

It drives my husband crazy that they can't just play the role they choose like if you're the dr. Just be the dr. Or the cook or whatever they choose. We were talking about when we played pretend as kids we didn't play like they do for ex. If they are playing superheroes they would say something like..."And then I saved you from a falling building and you said oh thanks for saving me. Instead of just acting it out they narrate everything they're doing and as far as I can remember thats how they've always played...anyone else do this as a kid or does your kid (s) play like this?

My kids do it all the time. It's kinda funny and crazy at the same time.

[CadenceSophia]

Yup my kids do this all the time. My oldest got it from his best friend around age 4 and now it is just how they all do it. I think it is great for negotiation skills among other things. I never did it when I was a kid though.. Never really had anyone to pay with at those ages.

[Monica_in_Switzerland]

This is exactly how my kids play.  It's also how I played as a kid.  I'm guessing it's:

 

- a sign of a lot of exposure to books

- a sign that they want to direct as well as act in the "play".  

 

I see absolutely nothing wrong with this and assumed it was normal!  None of the kids seem to be overly-pushy with directing.  They will argue it out when they disagree about which direction the play story should go, rather than one unilaterally taking control.  I like to hear their problem-solving!

[LMD]

Yes, mine do this all.the.time.

Especially my boys, and especially with lego/figure toys. Followed by all.the.sound.effects.

 

Followed by my brain bleeding...

 

I never really thought about it being weird tbh.

[Soror]

Yes, totally, ironically (or not) to me is that it is mostly my 4yo that is the one that I hear doing the most directing. Surprising to me her older sisters generally seem to go along with her. Not that they don't do some of that themselves but she seems the most vocal with directed the exact wording of the play, the others are more likely to direct what they are doing/playing but not so much specifics.

Edited April 5, 2017 by soror

[SanDiegoMom]

My kids and their friends do it, and their older sister did too. I didn't know there was any other way to play!

[FawnsFunnyFarm]

Mine do this, their friends of it, and I remember doing it as a kid too. I think it's natural.

[Hobbes]

I clearly remember do I doing this as a kid and my girls do it all the time. "And then you said that you wanted to come to my house"... "No, then I said that we should go to the farm!" I figure it comes from reading a lot of books/audiobooks.

 

ETA - I remember doing this in my head as a young teen. At the time I wanted to be a writer and I would mentally narrate things I was doing to "get a feel for" how I might write scenes. I was a real hoot as a teen... 😂

Edited April 5, 2017 by indigoellen@gmail.com

[Guest]

Never. They'll suggest, like, "Hey wouldn't it be so funny of your guy tried to eat my guy and then said 'this milk has fermented!'" Brother: "No, that's not funny." :laugh:

[Lecka]

I see kids do it, but other kids feel free to ignore their suggestions or adapt them. So if it is really bossy that is different from a kid saying "I will do this instead" (or just doing it) and the kid who sounds bossy being fine.

 

I think it is great for how they can negotiate and get along.

 

Now if you see it with a lot of actual bossiness that is just not the same.

[mountains27]

Yep!

"Pretend she said..." Pretend you said..." Pretend my guy was really sad..."Pretend we both fell down..." "Pretend this guy was really mean to your guy..."

 

It goes on and on! then is eventually followed by "No! my guy didn't sat that!" "Just pretend he did" "NO!" "Well then I'm not playing with you ever again!"

 

Then Me:  "do you guys even hear yourselves right now and how ridiculous this argument is??!!"

 

My oldest (the girl) can get a little bossy about who says what and not letting her little brother have much say in the script so I do have to intervene sometimes and let her know she needs to let her brother make up some of the story too then they work out a compromise and all is right again. All in all they play well together  which is nice

[JudoMom]

Mine used to do this, and they also did the deal where they planned what they were going to play until they ran out of time to play it.

My favorite was when I overheard one say to the other "OK, pretend you're my brother."  Way to stretch the ol' imagination.... :D

[Monica_in_Switzerland]

I clearly remember do I doing this as a kid and my girls do it all the time. "And then you said that you wanted to come to my house"... "No, then I said that we should go to the farm!" I figure it comes from reading a lot of books/audiobooks.

 

ETA - I remember doing this in my head as a young teen. At the time I wanted to be a writer and I would mentally narrate things I was doing to "get a feel for" how I might write scenes. I was a real hoot as a teen... 😂

 

Are we the same person???  I still sometimes narrate my life in my head.  LOL.  

 

 

 

Yep!

"Pretend she said..." Pretend you said..." Pretend my guy was really sad..."Pretend we both fell down..." "Pretend this guy was really mean to your guy..."

 

It goes on and on! then is eventually followed by "No! my guy didn't sat that!" "Just pretend he did" "NO!" "Well then I'm not playing with you ever again!"

 

Then Me:  "do you guys even hear yourselves right now and how ridiculous this argument is??!!"

 

My oldest (the girl) can get a little bossy about who says what and not letting her little brother have much say in the script so I do have to intervene sometimes and let her know she needs to let her brother make up some of the story too then they work out a compromise and all is right again. All in all they play well together  which is nice

 

 

My kids' phrase is "Let's say..." as in, "Let's say it was raining outside".  "Yeah, and let's say it started to flood and we had to make a raft.", "Ok, and then let's say the raft broke and your bunny started to drown and my dolphin saved it!"  "No, let's say the dog started to drown and the bunny and the dolphin saved it and then we had to fix its leg."

[silver]

My kids have a friend that does that. But their friend is totally bossy about it. He'll play with his lego figures and narrate what is happening. But then he'll do the same thing with other kids. He'll tell them exactly what they're supposed to say and how they're supposed to react to actions, etc. Sometimes my kids go along with it, and sometimes they avoid him because they don't want to be bossed around and treated like live action toys. 

[Farrar]

Mine are 12 and now they use those skills for gaming, like D&D.

[KrissiK]

One of mine does. I think it's a personality thing. She is much different than her siblings. She is more introverted, more imaginative, more bookish.

[Dramorellis]

All of my kids do this exactly. Usually it's in the context of using their stuffed animals or Lego. "Then he says this and jumps on him", they act it out and then dictate/narrate what should happen next. They fight over which way the character should go next. When they play with friends they all seem to fall into it as well but they can also switch back and forth to just doing the actual thing or saying the "line" instead of narrating it first. I never have thought about it as a problem. Unless someone is getting hurt or using language that is inappropriate I see no issue. I'm not going to micro manage how children play. 

[ReadingMama1214]

Mine do it sometimes. Usually when my  5 year old is trying to control how her 3 year old brother plays. So she does it in a more controlling way of saying "now you be the troll and yell and chase me and say....." He is starting to do it back some as well.

 

But when she is playing alone with dolls or with her friends, they don't do it as much.

 

Both of my kids don't live in this world. They are constantly playing something imaginary and turning their hands and random objects into characters in their plots. It is crazy to watch. 

[Hobbes]

Are we the same person???  I still sometimes narrate my life in my head.  LOL.  

It's possible... it's at least quite nice to know I'm not the only one!!!

Edited April 5, 2017 by indigoellen@gmail.com

[fralala]

Not exactly the way you described, but negotiating the play or the rules of the play is at least 50% of what my kids seem to do. (Back story, what's going to happen, etc...)

 

I don't remember doing it as a child, but I bet I did...because this is what highly intelligent young people do, right? :laugh:

[Crimson Wife]

My kids have a friend that does that. But their friend is totally bossy about it. He'll play with his lego figures and narrate what is happening. But then he'll do the same thing with other kids. He'll tell them exactly what they're supposed to say and how they're supposed to react to actions, etc. Sometimes my kids go along with it, and sometimes they avoid him because they don't want to be bossed around and treated like live action toys. 

 

This sounds like a "red flag" for High Functioning Autism. It's not the scripting per se that is the problem but the inflexibility causing social difficulties.

 

My daughter with HFA is working with her applied behavioral analysis therapists on learning to be more flexible in her play with peers. She very much WANTS to interact with other kids but struggles with understanding that what SHE wants is not universally shared.

[tampamommy]

Mine (ds and dd) did it ALL the time when they were young. Constantly. Even when they were outside running around and playing.

 

I chalked it up to: tons of literature exposure and little tv/media; active imaginations; a love of story-telling (and exposure to lots of creative story telling). In the early teens this activity transitioned to enjoyment of creative writing on their free time that continued for the rest of high school. (and now beyond!) Spending time like this together also helped to foster the close bond they still have at 20 and 18 yo.

 

I actually loved hearing their tales.

 

But gently, for those of you who find it hard to deal with....be patient and please don't correct it. Let them engage positively. These times will be gone before you know it.

 

:)

 

 

[silver]

This sounds like a "red flag" for High Functioning Autism. It's not the scripting per se that is the problem but the inflexibility causing social difficulties.

 

My daughter with HFA is working with her applied behavioral analysis therapists on learning to be more flexible in her play with peers. She very much WANTS to interact with other kids but struggles with understanding that what SHE wants is not universally shared.

 

 

I don't want to derail too much here, but if something like this is the case, what sort of things should I encourage from my children (other than patience with their friend) to help them help him?

[prairiewindmomma]

I don't want to derail too much here, but if something like this is the case, what sort of things should I encourage from my children (other than patience with their friend) to help them help him?

 

One time I sat in on a playdate and participated in their play.  At the point in which conflict came up, I paused the play and talked about what each person wanted.

 

"Anna wants the train to go up and over the bridge.

Barry wants the train to go through the tunnel and crash into field.

 

Can the train go up over the bridge and through the tunnel at the same time? (Sometimes they will say yes--be prepared to demonstrate that it's not possible!)

 

What can we do when we want to do different things? (Brainstorm solutions with them and try them out.)

 

Let them play naturally again, and then wait for another good scenario to get set up.

 

"Anna is crying. She has tears coming down her face and she is hiding in the corner. Barry, why is Anna crying?" (Note that a completely bizarre answer may come out of Barry's mouth. If Barry does not know, ask Anna.)  That's right, Anna is crying because you are playing with her doll and she did not want to share her doll.  What should we do when someone does not want to share a toy? What else could we do instead?"

 

Think about it in terms of a lack of social skills.  What is Barry missing? 

1. The ability to recognize a conflict during playtime

2. The ability to recognize someone else's feelings

3. The ability to understand that someone can want something different than what he wants

4. The ability to be flexible and find a solution to the problem

 

This isn't a problem that's going to be solved in a play session (or in many play sessions)....but giving YOUR child scripts to use during play and helping them problem solve can sometimes help one-sided play sessions work.  

 

For some other good examples of how to model handling conflict with the preschooler set---Daniel Tiger's Neighborhood does a great job with this!

[LindaOz]

Yep, my 6 and 5 year olds do this with their imaginative play, and my big kids did it when they were young.

And guess what? My big kids don't do it anymore - they really do grow out of it. It's normal.

Edited April 6, 2017 by LindaOz

[5hskids]

😂😂😂😂 some of y'alls stories! I'm dying over here! I love listening to my kids they are so much more creative than I was as a child but I was also totally introverted (and still am) and shy and quiet and lived in books all the time.and my kids are polar opposites of me!! I love it and I'm thankful lots of other kids do it. My husband thought it was because the kids aren't around other kids in their general age group like at school and stuff. But they are around kids ages 1-11 3-5 times a week so I didn't actually think that was the reason. I always tell him to listen to them playing they are really great at taking turns and improvising and coming up with a good storyline (most of the time).I'm thinking my oldest dd started it because she loved playing by herself. (We thought she was autistic), but with 2 siblings 1 and 2 years younger than her she didn't always get to do that. I think she started this sort of play to have everything go exactly how she wanted lol.

[Tumbatoo]

Yes! My kids do this all the time. I have seen them do it with multiple friends. Drives me crazy!

[SorrelZG]

All of my children play this way with one another but not with other friends, that I've noticed at least. I don't recall whether I did as a child or not. 

[SJ.]

Mine have always done this, and still do at 12 and 11! I always joke that perhaps they will write and direct movies one day. ðŸ˜

[goldenecho]

Haha, that's funny!   :)  I don't remember my kids playing that way, but they certainly had other quirky ways of playing!  Like whenever they played with their little plastic 2-inch high people (probably every day, for years), they would define all of the powers their particular people had before they started playing with them, and it always ended with "and every other power."  This went on every. single. day.  They would spend so much time discussing the powers their people had, and in the end they of course had every other power anyway.  Why waste time doing all of that?  Just jump in and play!  haha  Of course they're all grown up now and think it's sooo funny whenever they happen to think of it.

 

LOL.  I remember as a kid playing dolls we would have to distribute all the clothes and doll furniture first...me and my friend would take turns picking out things.  By the time we were done, we barely got in any actual playing before she had to go.

[fdrinca]

My kids do it when playing dollhouse, Playmobil, Lego, or the like, never so much in regular bodily play. 

 

It never bothers me. It's like they are reading a book, really. It makes sense that they would need to add emotion, descriptive movement, and setting when using little Playmobil people to act out.