Is this a sign of dementia? (edited for clarity)

[Janeway]

I have this relative. I think she is maybe about 50 yrs old, so I would think too young for dementia. I have not seen her in years. But, I saw her on FB recently. She has always been a moody person. Now she has been unemployed for over two years despite being in a high demand field. I thought that was odd because I always thought she was such a go-getter. But I have not spoken to her in maybe three years. Not a hostile thing, just sort of, seems as if time goes by quickly and the older relatives have all died and I just never seem to see anyone anymore. 

 

The question, I am getting there. This is a person who has always dressed in very sedate colors, such as blacks, browns, grays. I have never in my life seen her in pastels or even blues. Now, on FB, a cousin posted pictures from an elderly relatives birthday party. There was this relatives, in a bright, purplish, darker pastels basically plaid button up shirt. I was shocked. I had to look a few times.

 

That seems to me to be a serious change in personality. She was always a very judgemental, yuppy-ish person, wearing trendy clothes and a closet just for shoes. Another closet for purses. Everything has always been black and white and maybe gray. 

 

Edited to add: I added this down lower, but wanted to put it up here so anyone reading would see this...

 

It is not the wearing pastels that I am referencing. It is the drastic change in dress. Through the years, recent ones, when an older relative has had a change in personality or something, loss of interesting in things, formerly agreeable person becomes difficult, etc, it has eventually meant something that involves a cognitive decline. One relative, when I saw this, was having TIAs. Another, who was always friendly but a little cranky, started really ragging on her husband. Soon after, it came out that she had something going on, was moved to a nursing home, and then died. Now another elderly relative, who a few years ago started to be extra cranky and loose with things she said, I thought she was angry with me and she said she wished she never married her husband. Her husband has been dead for 15 years. She was always an agreeable and pleasant person. She is moving to a nursing home and has trouble understanding things now.

 

I live on the other side of the country from these relatives so now, I only get what little I get from the distance. And when I do visit, I tend to see the changes more than others, just because they have been around these people every day and seen the itty bitty incremental changes, where I might come back after a few years and it is a huge change to me.

 

My relatives are just aging. I was realizing that this Christmas, I have so few relatives to even send cards to. I guess this is what getting older is like. I have one relative who has an app on her phone that sends her obituary notices so she can keep up with her friends dying. Did you even know there is an app for that? Yep, there is. A little sad this year. 

Edited November 16, 2016 by Janeway

[maize]

No way to tell based on the information provided.

 

Could be an indication of something.

 

Could be just a person who decided to try a brighter wardrobe.

 

I wouldn't try to diagnose anything from a photo.

Edited November 16, 2016 by maize

[regentrude]

Why would it be dementia for a middle age woman to change her taste in clothes? :confused:

Plenty of people do. Reevaluating life priorities, changing direction, embracing a different path. Quite normal at that age.

 

And different situations call for different clothes. I am quite sure my professional colleagues would be surprised seeing the hippie dresses when I am with my artist friends.

Edited November 16, 2016 by regentrude

[Jean in Newcastle]

She could be wearing clothes that someone gave her or donated to her. 

 

She could have decided to update her wardrobe.  Many people when they hit their fifties, start to "wash out" in their coloring and brighter clothing can help. 

 

Why in the world would you suddenly jump to dementia? 

[marbel]

I'm with the others.  Why do you assume dementia because the person is wearing different clothing than you are used to seeing them in?  

 

Are there other concerns?  Being unemployed is also not necessarily a marker for dementia. 

 

It sound as if you are pretty out of touch with this person. If you are concerned, why not make contact with her in a more personal way than facebook?

Edited November 16, 2016 by marbel

[hornblower]

Nope. 

[VaKim]

Ha! Then I probably am suffering from it too, lol. I have always, all my life, only worn solid colors, and mostly black. My mom and aunts always complained about it. Well, for whatever reason, the last couple years (I am 50), I gravitate toward bright prints, often really wacky ones. I don't even like solids anymore. I also like weird styles that I'd have never been caught dead in when I was younger. 

 

Like others have said, it sounds perfectly normal to me.

[Code Lyoko]

Nope.

[Annie G]

I always wore solids, mostly black.  But in my early 50s I started to like the color purple. I also quit my job and started simplifying my life.  Maybe she just grew tired of her career and when she no longer needed professional clothes she changed her style. 

 

MIL has dementia and we've done a ton of reading on it...never saw 'likes pastel colors' as a warning sign of dementia. 

[Cinder]

This reminds me of when I first met dh; he wore only blue (denim or navy), gray and brown. (We met in college. He's never been one to clothes shop so just wore whatever his mom bought him.) I suggested he try some other colors and got him a shirt with blue and purple. Purple! Dh actually looks good in purple but no way his mom would have bought him anything with ... color. Of course his mom knew right away that I'd gotten it for him.

 

So, maybe your relative has met someone who thinks she'd look good in other colors and she agreed to try it?

[Spryte]

Ha! Then I probably am suffering from it too, lol. I have always, all my life, only worn solid colors, and mostly black. My mom and aunts always complained about it. Well, for whatever reason, the last couple years (I am 50), I gravitate toward bright prints, often really wacky ones. I don't even like solids anymore. I also like weird styles that I'd have never been caught dead in when I was younger.

 

Like others have said, it sounds perfectly normal to me.

I thought the same thing! I'm not far from 50, really, and just radically changed my hair. Oops! Is someone going to think I have denentia?

 

O0, I wouldn't worry too much. There are so many explanations. At her age, it's possible that she could be developing early onset Alzheimer's, But I think it's unlikely, and you couldn't diagnose based on a photo. The signs are not generally related to clothing choices.

 

It sounds like it wouldn't be surprising if she's depressed, though.

[Janeway]

It is not the wearing pastels that I am referencing. It is the drastic change in dress. Through the years, recent ones, when an older relative has had a change in personality or something, loss of interesting in things, formerly agreeable person becomes difficult, etc, it has eventually meant something that involves a cognitive decline. One relative, when I saw this, was having TIAs. Another, who was always friendly but a little cranky, started really ragging on her husband. Soon after, it came out that she had something going on, was moved to a nursing home, and then died. Now another elderly relative, who a few years ago started to be extra cranky and loose with things she said, I thought she was angry with me and she said she wished she never married her husband. Her husband has been dead for 15 years. She was always an agreeable and pleasant person. She is moving to a nursing home and has trouble understanding things now.

 

I live on the other side of the country from these relatives so now, I only get what little I get from the distance. And when I do visit, I tend to see the changes more than others, just because they have been around these people every day and seen the itty bitty incremental changes, where I might come back after a few years and it is a huge change to me.

 

My relatives are just aging. I was realizing that this Christmas, I have so few relatives to even send cards to. I guess this is what getting older is like. I have one relative who has an app on her phone that sends her obituary notices so she can keep up with her friends dying. Did you even know there is an app for that? Yep, there is. A little sad this year. 

[Jean in Newcastle]

50 is not elderly.

 

 

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[SparklyUnicorn]

I would suspect depression before dementia.  Because really what are we saying here?  She forgot that she doesn't wear these types of clothes?  When I was depressed I went and did a few radical things to my appearance.  I bleached my hair and I did buy clothes that were not typical for what I usually wear.  I felt like I wanted to do something in a direction of changing how I felt.  That didn't work, but it was enough to get me to a doctor to get some medication.

But I think it is too much of a stretch to tell this is going on from some Facebook pictures. 

[OneStepAtATime]

It is not the wearing pastels that I am referencing. It is the drastic change in dress. Through the years, recent ones, when an older relative has had a change in personality or something, loss of interesting in things, formerly agreeable person becomes difficult, etc, it has eventually meant something that involves a cognitive decline. One relative, when I saw this, was having TIAs. Another, who was always friendly but a little cranky, started really ragging on her husband. Soon after, it came out that she had something going on, was moved to a nursing home, and then died. Now another elderly relative, who a few years ago started to be extra cranky and loose with things she said, I thought she was angry with me and she said she wished she never married her husband. Her husband has been dead for 15 years. She was always an agreeable and pleasant person. She is moving to a nursing home and has trouble understanding things now.

 

I live on the other side of the country from these relatives so now, I only get what little I get from the distance. And when I do visit, I tend to see the changes more than others, just because they have been around these people every day and seen the itty bitty incremental changes, where I might come back after a few years and it is a huge change to me.

 

My relatives are just aging. I was realizing that this Christmas, I have so few relatives to even send cards to. I guess this is what getting older is like. I have one relative who has an app on her phone that sends her obituary notices so she can keep up with her friends dying. Did you even know there is an app for that? Yep, there is. A little sad this year. 

1.  50 is not elderly.  Not even close to elderly.  Does dementia show up in middle aged people?  Yes, but it is not that common and tends to be VERY progressive VERY quickly.  Changes would be noticeable very quickly.

 

2.  People DO frequently change their habits and clothing choices, etc. as they move through life.  This is very common.  Different stage in life means frequently there is a different mind set, different goals and desires, etc.  Clothing choices are a common change.  I certainly did.  My dad did, especially after he retired.  Perfectly normal.  

 

3.  While I understand that because of family history you are seeing that this might mean a similar pattern, you are basing this on one photograph of someone you do not see often and who is only in their 50s.  I think people living closer to them and seeing them more often would have a much better chance of determining if there is truly some form of dementia going on but I would absolutely not be leaping to dementia based on one photograph and a few conversations.

Edited November 16, 2016 by OneStepAtATime

[Janeway]

1.  50 is not elderly.  Not even close to elderly.  Does dementia show up in middle aged people?  Yes, but it is not that common and tends to be VERY progressive VERY quickly.  Changes would be noticeable very quickly.

 

2.  People DO frequently change their habits and clothing choices, etc. as they move through life.  This is very common.  Different stage in life means frequently there is a different mind set, different goals and desires, etc.  Clothing choices are a common change.  I certainly did.  My dad did, especially after he retired.  Perfectly normal.  

 

3.  While I understand that because of family history you are seeing that this might mean a similar pattern, you are basing this on one photograph of someone you do not see often and who is only in their 50s.  I think people living closer to them and seeing them more often would have a much better chance of determining if there is truly some form of dementia going on but I would absolutely not be leaping to dementia based on one photograph and a few conversations.

The other relatives I was referencing were in their 80's and 90's. I know 50 would be awfully early to see it. 

[Janeway]

50 is not elderly.

 

 

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I did not mean 50 was elderly. The other relatives that I referenced as elderly were in their 80's and 90's.

[lllll]

nm

Edited December 6, 2016 by cathey

[Chelle in MO]

50 is not elderly.

 

 

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It only feels that way sometimes!  

[regentrude]

Even with your clarification, I do not see any concern. I find it way more likely, that the lady did some soul searching over the past few years and decided to give her life new focus and new direction. Such a reorientation is often accompanied by a change in dress, music taste, leisure pursuits. In fact, it does not even require a dramatic change. Just embracing her creativity can lead her to recognize that she wants to change her outward expression.

 

Some guys start driving a sports car in middle age instead of a boring sedan. Because they now can. I see changing clothes style in a similar line - just less expensive :)

[Callie]

50 is not elderly.

 

 

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Right.  I'm 49 and just bought new hot pink running shoes.  Hopefully I'm not declining mentally:)

[Janeway]

I wouldn't assume anything.  Maybe she decided to change her life and grew weary of the regimented style, threw caution to the wind, and went out and bought purples and plaids.  Or maybe she wanted a change in clothing to go along with other changes in her life.  There's just no way of knowing without talking to her or seeing her behavior first hand.

 

Can't you just ask her outright what's going on in her life and why she quit her job?  That might be more revealing.

 

I see what you're saying about the changes, but I still don't think it's quite enough information to go on.

 

I just feel awkward asking from so far away.

 

Just feeling a little sad. Seems as if almost the entire older older generation has died in the last 5 years. The only two left, one is in a nursing home and the other is in the process of being moved to a nursing home.  

[Carol in Cal.]

And then there is the whole LuLaRoe phenomenon--clothes that are so quirky looking and so stinking comfortable that they are weirdly irresistible.

[lllll]

nm

 

 

Edited December 6, 2016 by cathey

[Bambam]

I worked as an engineer for many years. I had an 'outfit' if you will. Dress pants, button down shirt - either plain or striped. Always. That is what I wore most all of the time, because why buy other clothes?

Once I stopped working to stay home with my children, when I needed new clothes, I bought Hawaiian print shirts. Big difference. I did because I was tired of the other.

So, maybe she just got tired of that look and wanted something bright and cheery? As I get older, I like more colorful clothes too. I'm bummed that they don't have the color color-blocked coats for adults like they do for toddlers. Because I want something that super cheerful too! 

And light up shoes? I'd buy those too!

[Code Lyoko]

I just feel awkward asking from so far away.

 

Just feeling a little sad. Seems as if almost the entire older older generation has died in the last 5 years. The only two left, one is in a nursing home and the other is in the process of being moved to a nursing home.  

Yes, and asking can open up a whole can of worms.  

 

Sorry you are feeling sad.  It IS sad when older generations are passing away.  We have definitely lost a lot of our older generation of family members recently.  It can be very sad to deal with.

 

Just don't borrow stress and worry without solid basis for concern.   :grouphug:

[Guest]

50 is sort of a funny time, especially for women.  I have seen again and again the "coming out" of women at this age.  Done with being there and doing that for everyone else.  Realizing that it doesn't matter 2 cents what others think of you.  Desiring to live a true and integrated life.  Doing what they have wanted to do, wearing what they have wanted to wear, learning what they have wanted to learn...being who they are.  This is not ALWAYS good and it is not ALWAYS bad.  It's just what it is...

 

My mom told me that she was never happier than she was after 50...she had spent a life taking care of and pleasing others, but now she could find out who SHE was...and it turns out, she's a pretty decent and interesting person.  She didn't go berserk on this; she just felt ... free or whole as she is or something like that.  She didn't repudiate her past...she kept going to church, she kept all her friends--they just became *better* friends because the friendship was more real.

 

People talk like only men have a mid-life crisis, usually in their 40s.  But women do, too.  Usually in their early 50s, based on my observations.  They've been too busy before 50 to take time to have one.  LOL.  :0)

 

[katilac]

Warning
by Jenny Joseph

WHEN I AM AN OLD WOMAN I SHALL WEAR PURPLE
With a red hat which doesn't go, and doesn't suit me.
And I shall spend my pension on brandy and summer gloves
And satin sandals, and say we've no money for butter.
I shall sit down on the pavement when I'm tired
And gobble up samples in shops and press alarm bells
And run my stick along the public railings
And make up for the sobriety of my youth.
I shall go out in my slippers in the rain
And pick the flowers in other people's gardens
And learn to spit

You can wear terrible shirts and grow more fat
And eat three pounds of sausages at a go
Or only bread and pickle for a week
And hoard pens and pencils and beermats and things in boxes

But now we must have clothes that keep us dry
And pay our rent and not swear in the street
And set a good example for the children.
We must have friends to dinner and read the papers.

But maybe I ought to practice a little now?
So people who know me are not too shocked and surprised
When suddenly I am old, and start to wear purple.

 

Maybe she's practicing a bit now, so as to not shock people even further when she's truly old. I love the fact that the relative's shocking clothes were actually purple! 

[goldberry]

I would not think dementia.  I would think change of life or new love interest.

[Suzanne in ABQ]

I definitely don't see dementia there.  I would attribute it solely to her change of life from being a professional to not being a professional.  Why wear a gray suit unless you're going to work?  It may seem drastic to you because you only knew her in her "other life".  But, I'm guessing the change was gradual as she slowly replaced her old, business attire with more casual clothes.  This may be the real her, and it was stifled all those years that she only wore gray and black.  Don't be alarmed.  Instead, give her a call, and tell her how happy and relaxed and colorful she looked in the photograph.  That's the best way to gauge how her mind is working.  

 

[Plateau Mama]

Change of clothes wouldn't say dementia to me. If you said she was normally easy going and had gotten cranky or irritable Id think something was up, not necessarily dementia but maybe, or a stroke etc. I've known several individuals with dementia and that was always the telltale sign.

 

I'm 43 and last year I looked in my wardrobe and realized it was really boring so I now make an effor to buy more colorful things. My wardrobe totally changed but there's nothing wrong with me. ;-)

[Guest]

Change of clothes wouldn't say dementia to me. If you said she was normally easy going and had gotten cranky or irritable Id think something was up, not necessarily dementia but maybe, or a stroke etc. I've known several individuals with dementia and that was always the telltale sign.

 

I'm 43 and last year I looked in my wardrobe and realized it was really boring so I now make an effor to buy more colorful things. My wardrobe totally changed but there's nothing wrong with me. ;-)

 

Here is where change of clothes bothers you:  when the person can't remember to put the bra on the inside of the shirt...the panties on the inside of the skirt or britches.  Where both socks go on the same foot.   When someone can't remember how to tie his/her shoes or button a shirt.  When the order of pulling down the pants before using the toilet gets reversed.  THAT is dementia. Those are real instances from my experience, by the way.

 

The best one-liner I remember is this one:  

Normal memory lapse:  Now where did I put those car keys?  

Abnormal memory lapse:  Now what are these things (the car keys) and what are they for?

 

That is a broad statement but the division in the paths is clear and has been helpful.  Dementia-afflicted eople won't ask what the car keys are for...they'll just throw them in the garbage or something else inappropriate.  A person will not admit that they can't remember how to work the stereo/CD player--they'll just claim they don't want to listen to music anymore (because they can't remember how to work the stereo ...)  

[Spryte]

Here is where change of clothes bothers you: when the person can't remember to put the bra on the inside of the shirt...the panties on the inside of the skirt or britches. Where both socks go on the same foot. When someone can't remember how to tie his/her shoes or button a shirt. When the order of pulling down the pants before using the toilet gets reversed. THAT is dementia. Those are real instances from my experience, by the way.

 

The best one-liner I remember is this one:

Normal memory lapse: Now where did I put those car keys?

Abnormal memory lapse: Now what are these things (the car keys) and what are they for?

 

That is a broad statement but the division in the paths is clear and has been helpful. Dementia-afflicted eople won't ask what the car keys are for...they'll just throw them in the garbage or something else inappropriate. A person will not admit that they can't remember how to work the stereo/CD player--they'll just claim they don't want to listen to music anymore (because they can't remember how to work the stereo ...)

((Hugs))

 

I have lots of real life experience, too. It's tough. We are living with it again, now.

 

Your car key example made me think of my grandmother. She loved to feed the birds. One autumn, she fed them her wedding ring set. It was never recovered. She just couldn't recall what it was, or was for, or that it meant something to her.

[Guest]

((Hugs))

 

I have lots of real life experience, too. It's tough. We are living with it again, now.

 

Your car key example made me think of my grandmother. She loved to feed the birds. One autumn, she fed them her wedding ring set. It was never recovered. She just couldn't recall what it was, or was for, or that it meant something to her.

Ugh.  

 

It's not pretty, is it?  

 

I guess I have seen a certain amount of this...but not as directly as in a parent, and that does make a difference.  I'm sorry that you have had to deal with so much of this.

[Spryte]

Ugh.

 

It's not pretty, is it?

 

I guess I have seen a certain amount of this...but not as directly as in a parent, and that does make a difference. I'm sorry that you have had to deal with so much of this.

It is hard. I grew up with it, really. Grandmother, and other relatives. I am grateful every day that my vibrant, wonderful mom has shown no signs of it. She's 76. My MIL isn't as lucky though, and it's painful. I wish there were more treatment options.

[Tiramisu]

When my grandmother's dementia started she lost interest in clothes, previously she was very clothes conscious. She would wear the same thing over and over and mismatched clothes.

 

She also stopped washing, putting on make up and doing her hair. For dementia, I'd keep on the look out for that because other people told me that, too.

 

She also started talking about risqué topics when she was prim and proper before. Once when she was hospitalized she called a nicely built, young medical assistant a young buck. 😳

[TechWife]

My 86 year old mother just bought herself a pair of tennis shoes - purple with pink accents. She loves them! 

[Reefgazer]

Menopause can bring on a lot of re-thinking about things, soul-searching, and a shift in priorities. Barring dangerous or destructive behavior, I would not think this was anything to worry about.

[Katy]

Generally with dementia people lose track of what they are wearing, or wear the same thing for many days on end without washing it, not change their style.

 

It's possible that this person had a lot of work clothing, and their in-demand field went more casual, so they did too.  It's also possible they decided to buy more casual clothes because they've been unemployed.

 

It's also possible she's been unemployed because she has some illness which hasn't been disclosed to relatives she hasn't seen in years.  Frequently when that happens, part of the process is a couple evaluations from occupational therapists, who not only evaluate your current state and abilities, they give advice like do something to make you laugh every day and make sure to get dressed every day - it can be in comfortable jersey outfits in bright colors, but do not wear sweats or yoga pants.

 

It's also possible she took some class like Dressing Your Truth and changed her style to reflect whatever she feels is her.