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Going Minimalist is hard, but I need to!


Janeway
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Our house is stuffed to the gills with stuff. I have been working over a year, but closer to two years, to reduce. But I still feel like I have way too much stuff. This is just hard!!!

 

And suggestions? And Konmari is not the solution at this point. Konmari had some great ideas that I have used, but it has run its course for me.

 

I would love some encouragement, helpful hints, etc.

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What kinds of things are you having trouble with getting out of the house?  Are you bringing in as much as you are moving out?  Is it just the stage of life and you really can't get rid of things?  Do you have a good method of storing things you do decide to keep?  More info will help; it also might help you figure out why you are stuck.  I cannot imagine trying to get rid of things for that long!  I would be frustrated, too.

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Go.go go. I am right now trying to clean out my mother's house after her being there for 40 years.

 

Instead of asking do I use this, ask Can I live without it.

 

Set out all you have of one type item and pick your most favorites and get rid of the rest. Ask yourself what would happen of you didn't have item X.....could you easily use something else? Borrow it? Buy it if you truly needed it?

 

Another great thing is to have a very non sentimental minimalist friend come help. Have a keep pile, a regime pile, a trash bag, and a donate box and just go through stuff as fast as you can

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what is the source of "the stuff"?  

 

I've lived in the same house for more than 30 years - granted I have stuff to haul off (to the dump or goodwill), but it's far less than my or dh's siblings.  (NONE of whom have been in their houses as long as me.)

 

some questions - which may or may not be completely relevant.

do you engage in retail therapy, in which you must buy? 

do you feel like you "need" the 'stuff'?

do you base your self-image in your "stuff"?  (it's harder to get rid of stuff if you're emotionally invested in it.)

  • do you want to dust it?
  • do you want to store it?  (obviously not.)
  • do your kids really need it?
  • do you really need it?

and finally- would you rather have that money for other things?

 

I realized I held onto stuff when I was a teen, because my grandmother basically was a "don't throw stuff away' person.  (she lived through the 30s.)  after that, I started tossing.  (and glaring at dh when he'd bring stuff home.)

 

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I am going to hang out on a limb here and guess that the issue at hand is that the true minimum needs for your 5 children ranging from toddler to age 15 are significant and would leave most average homes livable, but quite full. A seven person household will have a lot more stuff that a single person. Your home is probably full of necessary clothing, a reasonable about of toys for each age range, necessary baby supplies, sports equipment, musical instruments, educational materials, beds and clothing storage for each person, linens for 7, large pots, pans, storage containers appropriate for 7, dishes for 7, enough luggage for 7, enough furniture to meet the seating needs for 7, entertainment equipment for the family, and other items that are used and appreciated by the family.

 

Also, don't feel like you should be minimalist. It isn't a morally superior choice; just one way you can choose to live your life. 

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I love the book "It's all too Much".  It helped me a lot with decluttering. 

The main thing I like to do instead of saying "I'm going to get rid of X amount of stuff" I say "I'm going to keep X amount of whatever item".  So for instance coats and jackets.  Everyone can have one heavy coat, one light jacket, one hoodie and one dressy coat.  I picked the best of each and got rid of the rest.  Setting limits helps me not feel overwhelmed with how much I need to throw out.  

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I am going to hang out on a limb here and guess that the issue at hand is that the true minimum needs for your 5 children ranging from toddler to age 15 are significant and would leave most average homes livable, but quite full. A seven person household will have a lot more stuff that a single person. Your home is probably full of necessary clothing, a reasonable about of toys for each age range, necessary baby supplies, sports equipment, musical instruments, educational materials, beds and clothing storage for each person, linens for 7, large pots, pans, storage containers appropriate for 7, dishes for 7, enough luggage for 7, enough furniture to meet the seating needs for 7, entertainment equipment for the family, and other items that are used and appreciated by the family.

 

Also, don't feel like you should be minimalist. It isn't a morally superior choice; just one way you can choose to live your life.

^ this!

We've been purging things for over a year. But lots of people in this house & lots of stuff we do need to keep awhile longer ( toys & strollers , I'm looking at you). The teens have minimal stuff now, mostly electronics. It's the littles that there are extra clothes for, toys to use now, great older kid toys we saved for them as they get older...

Books I've let go of. Just keeping picture books for their preschool & elem ages, all the newberry es & others I passed onto other people.

We're actually looking for a couch & love seat because we need more seating for all of us, even though it will make it more crowded in the living room. But we've gotten rid of lots & lots of little stuff at least.

Good luck

Edited by Hilltopmom
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I am going to hang out on a limb here and guess that the issue at hand is that the true minimum needs for your 5 children ranging from toddler to age 15 are significant and would leave most average homes livable, but quite full. A seven person household will have a lot more stuff that a single person. Your home is probably full of necessary clothing, a reasonable about of toys for each age range, necessary baby supplies, sports equipment, musical instruments, educational materials, beds and clothing storage for each person, linens for 7, large pots, pans, storage containers appropriate for 7, dishes for 7, enough luggage for 7, enough furniture to meet the seating needs for 7, entertainment equipment for the family, and other items that are used and appreciated by the family.

 

Also, don't feel like you should be minimalist. It isn't a morally superior choice; just one way you can choose to live your life. 

 

This is us.

 

Our house is stuffed full and I hate it.  So I am in the same boat.  

 

I get rid of stuff weekly and it just doesn't seem to make much a difference.   I am lurking here. 

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I'm not great at this, but a couple of things that I have found helpful are:

1.  21 Fling Boogie--This is a flylady idea.  You take a garbage bag and carry it through the house and find 21 things to give away, throw them in there, and bring them to the thrift store immediately.  Then you find 21 things to throw away and put them in the garbage immediately.  Repeat every day.  

2.  Ditto FL--set a timer for 15 minutes and declutter for that amount of time, then stop.  (helps avoid the overwhelm)

3.  My own insight--Do I want this more than I want this space to be free of it?

4.  Can't remember where I saw this, but--You can date collections, but you don't have to marry them.  That is, you can declare them finished, and stop adding to them.

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If it was all up to me - my house would have two rules:

 

1.  If something is not used for a year - it has to go

2.  If something comes in - something goes out

 

But I live with 4 "garbage collectors", so it's not in my future to have a clutter-free house (since I would like to still live with them).

 

Good luck to you!!! 

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This is my first time peeking into a minimalist thread since moving 6 weeks ago. I am living in a furnished house--we only brought what I could stuff into my minivan with 4 kids. And realizing that I'm not as much of a minimalist as I thought. Or maybe I just value totally different things than my landlord. DH is frustrated because I keep wanting to buy more books and shelves and kitchen stuff. I'm frustrated because there is all this furniture I don't need (I'm looking at you China cabinet), but no shelving. And no decent mixing bowls or sharp knives.  :glare:

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This is my first time peeking into a minimalist thread since moving 6 weeks ago. I am living in a furnished house--we only brought what I could stuff into my minivan with 4 kids. And realizing that I'm not as much of a minimalist as I thought. Or maybe I just value totally different things than my landlord. DH is frustrated because I keep wanting to buy more books and shelves and kitchen stuff. I'm frustrated because there is all this furniture I don't need (I'm looking at you China cabinet), but no shelving. And no decent mixing bowls or sharp knives. :glare:

The bottom of my kitchen cabinet has solid doors...

And behind those solid doors are books ...

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What kinds of things are you having trouble with getting out of the house?  Are you bringing in as much as you are moving out?  Is it just the stage of life and you really can't get rid of things?  Do you have a good method of storing things you do decide to keep?  More info will help; it also might help you figure out why you are stuck.  I cannot imagine trying to get rid of things for that long!  I would be frustrated, too.

I pretty much have rid of things from the catagories. It is the things that do not fit in to catagories. I have at least 5 large rubbermaid containers full of odds and ends. These are odds and ends that I have even gone through recently. I have had progress though. It started with several containers of odds and ends, and then has actually gone down, even though as we have cleaned through areas, we have found more odds and ends. I actually pulled out two of those containers over the last couple weeks and reduced them down to one.  So it is getting better, but is still there. I do need to rid of some of my daughter's things though. She has way way too much.

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If it is stuff that you need, PLUS decor stuff, maybe if you get rid of the decor stuff you don't need and isn't sentimental, you can use the rest of the stuff for your decor.

 

For example, if you have a cute thing on your bookshelf, why not replace it with a basket that contains puzzles?  You can take the puzzles out of their boxes and put them in baggies so you can fit more in there.  Then you get to keep your puzzles, and have a decorative item at the same time.  We have a bunch of coats and jackets of various weights, and we really do need them all.  I took a section of my entry way and just turned it into a huge coat rack.  It looks nice, but it is very functional as well.   A long time ago, I stopped trying to have a "nice" living room, and a kids' play area.  The toys are all over no matter what.  Instead, I have lots of "stations" all over my house.  Sometimes the things get jumbled, but we just sort it all back out now and then. I have baskets and jars and boxes here and there with the kids' toys and stuff in them.  Clean up is easy, because we just toss stuff in the nearest thing, and, like I said, sort it later when it bugs us.  

 

Maybe changing the problem in your mind from "too much stuff" to "need better organization and efficiency" will get your further?

I have actually pretty much rid of decor. I have rid of so much decor that the other day, I looked to my Thomas Kincade painting and considered trying to sell that! That is how far I have done with this! I am keeping the painting...but..pretty much..I have very little decor left.

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The number of people in the household really does make a difference. That's my problem--not that any of us has too much stuff individually, but that we have eight individuals worth of stuff in the house.

 

I haven't found the answer.

Edited by maize
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The bottom of my kitchen cabinet has solid doors...

And behind those solid doors are books ...

Great idea!!

 

:D  I was just thinking about how my china hutch (not quite cabinet) stores: baby keepsake boxes, photo albums, sparklers, keepsakes and cards from extended family and good freinds, dog supplies, fish supplies, and random tools.  

 

Our matching sideboard (where people used to put hot breakfasts) is our TV stand and we have a DVD/VHS player and GameCube in its cupboard with games and movies.  The drawer holds computer games, a KindleFire, a Gameboy Advance, some cords, a phone book, and the cover to my glider seat cushion.   :lol:

 

It's hard.  We have 235 sq. ft. per capita here, not counting two large dogs and a fish.  No garage, secure shed, basement, or attic.  I have pared down my personal stuff to the least of anyone in the house.  Like you, we have very little decor limited to keepsake boxes or items given to us by people close to us.  

 

Hope you get things to where they don't drive you nuts.   :grouphug:  :grouphug:  :grouphug:

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We're a family of 7 and we have less stuff than families we know with just 1 or 2 kids.  We don't have a basement or shed, so nothing can hide in here!

 

I've posted about this a few times before....but about 6 years ago, we got rid of probably 70-80% of our stuff.  It was horrible how much stuff we had.    

 

The Kon Mari thing....eh...I read that book, too.  It was entertaining.  But, it sounded like she doesn't have kids.  YKWIM?  I don't have the energy to put away all of our soaps and shampoos after we shower.   :laugh:  I'm doing my best here!

 

I can't really give you advice on how to do it - other than to just start an all-out campaign.  I would cancel school for this (Lol).  Set up a staging area with bags for clothes to donate and boxes to put stuff in for Goodwill.  Go from room to room with a trash bag.  If you're not using it or not going to use it in the very near future and it's in good condition, donate it.

 

Another thing.  You have to declutter every once in a while after your big campaign.  In fact, our public schools are off today, so I'm canceling school for today and we're going to declutter again in here.  You have to "maintain" your work.   :tongue_smilie: I am big on donating things in good condition, so we will probably be making some donation trips this weekend.

 

Good luck!

 

Edited to add:  If you need some inspiration, visit some minimalist blogs!  There are minimalist blogs by people with kids, too.

Edited by Evanthe
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We're a family of 7 and we have less stuff than families we know with just 1 or 2 kids.  We don't have a basement or shed, so nothing can hide in here!

 

I've posted about this a few times before....but about 6 years ago, we got rid of probably 70-80% of our stuff.  It was horrible how much stuff we had.    

 

The Kon Mari thing....eh...I read that book, too.  It was entertaining.  But, it sounded like she doesn't have kids.  YKWIM?  I don't have the energy to put away all of our soaps and shampoos after we shower.   :laugh:  I'm doing my best here!

 

I can't really give you advice on how to do it - other than to just start an all-out campaign.  I would cancel school for this (Lol).  Set up a staging area with bags for clothes to donate and boxes to put stuff in for Goodwill.  Go from room to room with a trash bag.  If you're not using it or not going to use it in the very near future and it's in good condition, donate it.

 

Another thing.  You have to declutter every once in a while after your big campaign.  In fact, our public schools are off today, so I'm canceling school for today and we're going to declutter again in here.  You have to "maintain" your work.   :tongue_smilie: I am big on donating things in good condition, so we will probably be making some donation trips this weekend.

 

Good luck!

 

Edited to add:  If you need some inspiration, visit some minimalist blogs!  There are minimalist blogs by people with kids, too.

 

 

I agree.  As awesome as the big deep declutter is, the maintenance is where the real work comes in.  We do a deep clean usually once a year- just as we enter Christmas season.  The kids can be motivated to let go of things knowing new stuff will soon be coming in, surfaces are decluttered to make room for our Christmas stuff to really stand out, and I tend to go through all the drawers, clothes, papers, etc at this time.  But then we do a few more sweeps throughout the year.  Before we have houseguests, before birthdays, and at some point during the summer.  Clothes are purged seasonally.  My kids each have only two drawers each for their entire wardrobe, one pair of shoes each, and one appropriate jacket/coat for the season.  If we had dress-up occasions, they'd probably have a second pair of shoes.  

 

I'm slowly moving all my movies to digital, so slowly passing along DVDs to friends and family.  Same with CDs... we have no CDs left in the house.  

 

One of my "genius" inventions is a basket next to the front door with everything that belongs to someone else but that is in our home (borrowed books, forgotten items, etc.)  This makes the chances of items being returned much higher!  

 

Toys are kept semi-minimal.  I've seen less and I've seen lots more.  

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We're moving, after more than 12 years and essentially raising our kids in this house, very soon. I accidentally stumbled on this decluttering brilliance...

 

1. Pack up what's bothering you like you're moving in 3 months. Leave out only the true essentials (say you're working on linens...).

2.When you lack, cull. Get rid of old, ugly, unnecessary, etc. Immediately chuck or donate.

3. Box what you'd "move"and need later. Leave it for 3 months.

4. At the end of three months, go through the box. Do you still love it? Need it? Or have you been just fine without it? With those answers you can decide what to do with it.

 

I'm finding this genius. I think when we move in I'll be able to reduce the "oh my word I have to have this when we move"stuff by at least a third.

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I did a variation of FriedClams approach. In our case, I packed everything but what we would need to live in temporary housing for six months.  I realized that there were a number of things that I did not need, and were not loved.  The loved and needed things went into boxes for our relo.  The temp things went into temp housing with us.  When we unpacked post-relo, I discovered that I no longer loved or needed a number of things that I had packed.

 

Through the process, I literally got rid of (sold/donated/etc.) more than half of what we owned.  We downsized into a smaller house with a lot less storage, and I'm glad we went through the process.

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The bottom of my kitchen cabinet has solid doors...

And behind those solid doors are books ...

:lol:  That's awesome! There's a FryDaddy in my bottom cupboard. I have no use for this thing, and I can't toss my landlord's stuff. But maybe it's time to start moving their stuff to the utility closet. 

 

Last night I realized there's a small, unused bookshelf sitting in my bedroom, and I hauled it downstairs for school supplies.

Edited by TKDmom
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:lol:  That's awesome! There's a FryDaddy in my bottom cupboard. I have no use for this thing, and I can't toss my landlord's stuff. But maybe it's time to start moving their stuff to the utility closet. 

 

Last night I realized there's a small, unused bookshelf sitting in my bedroom, and I hauled it downstairs for school supplies.

 

I have never seen such a thing.  LOL!

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I'm in the same boat. I've been decluttering for a few years(!), I konmaried, and now I just want to say, "what do we absolutely NEED to function?" Fear is kind of holding me back now.

Allie Cassazza has a great blog, thepurposefulhousewife.com. She's a homeschooling mom of 4. She shares her house tour on Periscope and it's so inspirational! She also has a great Facebook group full of motivation and inspiration.

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I'm slowly moving all my movies to digital, so slowly passing along DVDs to friends and family.  Same with CDs... we have no CDs left in the house.  

 

 

I'm starting to move everything to digital, too.  Got rid of all CDs and DVDs.  When we buy a book now, we buy the Kindle version if there is one.  

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I am slowly making progress. I've been listening to Simplicity Parenting which may or may not help me keep Christmas shopping to a minimum. Ds isn't much of a toy person and has items in shrink wrap from one or two Christmases ago. Dd has taken over a lot of his toy collection which is fine but I want to swap out some toys, maybe move them to the grandparents' homes.

 

I'm starting to move everything to digital, too.  Got rid of all CDs and DVDs.  When we buy a book now, we buy the Kindle version if there is one.  

 

For new movies we have done this, but we own a lot of hard copies and they are not all organized so dh will say, "want to buy this on digital?" and I'll say, "no, we own it already (somewhere...)." lol
 

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You are going to have more stuff with more people in your family but you aren't destined to live like hoarders. I don't think there is one right way. Like others have said there is still maintenance, even more so the people around, the more stuff sneaks in, I aim for at least a fall declutter(before Christmas- we don't buy a ton but the in-laws still buy too much- although they have improved vastly) and generally do one in the Spring as well. We just did all the kids bedrooms, my oldest daughter(9) is really into decluttering herself so she didn't have but a couple of things but I filled up the back of the van with other 3 kids stuff combined- my son likes to "collect" things and my daughters got rid of a fair amount of toys, mostly from Christmas last year(from the inlaws), and half of it was outgrown clothes. Since it seems my youngest will be my last I get rid of nearly everything she grows out of(save for a few special pieces I'm saving for a quilt. With my older daughter's hand-me-downs, I go through them each time we switch out seasons and cull, so I can fit each size in one plastic tote and only have 5 total to range the ages of my 3 girls.

 

My 4 and 7 yo have 4 cloth baskets of toys- musical instruments, baby doll and stuff, outside toys and dress up clothes. Otherwise, they have 1 box of duplos, 1 box of legos and 1 box of magnatiles, 4 games and some books. They have a combo desk/bookshelf/cabinet, on it they have a basket for hair and make-up stuff, jewelry box and cd player and in it drawing/coloring supplies.

 

 My 9yo has a 9 cubby bookshelf 3 cubbies filled w/ books, a couple with toys and then misc things(like trophies, slippers etc). A desk with stationary stuff in it, some pretties and diy stuff she's made on her shelf and desk.

 

My 12 you son doesn't have many toys, he's got 2 cloth baskets with various things, 1 small plastic box(legos) that fit on his bookshelves and a wooden box in closet for nerf guns and rockets. As I said he tends to "collect" things so he was nervous(and excited) about going through his stuff but he was absolutely thrilled once we did as he likes things clean and organized(it just doesn't come as natural to him). As I did with the girls we took everything out of the room(except the bed and chair) and went through it piece by piece. First, he tried to do it his own but he went through it in piles which really doesn't work. I even ended up taking out 2 pieces of furniture(his dresser was mostly filled with outgrown clothes and his desk was just a catchall he didn't need once things were thinned down and he could display stuff with the extra space on his bookshelf). His room looks so much nicer and is easier to clean. Even better his favorite collectibles on display on his bookshelves instead of hidden away. 

Edited by soror
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One thing we have always done is to severely limit gifts. We don't do birthday presents, instead we take the birthday child out for a special dinner date with mom our dad to a restaurant of their choice. We celebrate at At home with the family with cake and ice cream.

 

For Christmas the kids get stocking stuffers and one or two large group gifts (things like a new trampoline, a gymnastics mini bar, or a couple of sets of nice construction toys; this year we might to good quality art supplies). That's it from mom and dad. There is usually a gift from one set of hrandparents, and a family gift from one of my siblings (we draw names).

 

It keeps things simple.

Edited by maize
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We have too much stuff simply because I haven't gone through it all. I'm really good at avoiding my horrid basement, but until I go down there, touch every item, and decide if it's Keep, Trash, Or Donate it's gonna sit there. So, is attachment to stuff your problem or is it procrastination?

 

I think you have to be emotionally capable of realizing that you WILL get rid of something only to replace it later. However, getting rid of 200 items and replacing one is an excellent trade-off. Real estate is more expensive than most of your stuff.

 

Having older kids REALLY helps if most of your clutter is kid stuff. You may need to wait to get rid off all of those giant plastic toys and kid clutter. Big kid stuff takes up a lot less room. Still, you can purge everything but that now. When we lived in a temporary apartment during renovations I learned that I'm perfectly happy with very little EXCEPT in the kitchen. I actually USE all of my kitchen stuff and not having good equipment really slowed me down in the kitchen.

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