Mid-life Crisis Alert: Ever just feel like you're wasting your life?

[Ginevra]

Just indulge me a moment. Yeah, I know it's not rare to get to the midway point in life and just go, "What the hell am I doing?" But it could also be that this is more common in homeschooling circles than out. I just feel like: what am I doing? My life is so pointless. There's not much more of that cheery potential that exists when the kids are small; now I'm just trying to muddle through my last year or two of HSing my remaining student.

 

Money is part of this picture. I see DH is soooooo done with being the earner. (He's a contractor.) The constant need to shake the money tree, the arguments with payers, the debates about jobs that are over his head or just undesirable in some way. He left this morning at 4:30am because he has a job in D.C. If he felt at liberty, he would have turned that job down. So then I am convulsed with guilt because I feel like a taker. But I'm also not in a position to spring into the job market, even if I put DS in school. It's not as though I have some amazing, in-demand job skills and degree just waiting to be put to use.

 

I'm just thinking, as I clean out the fridge of furry cheddar and mysterious take-out that got smooshed to the back behind the yogurt, "What the hell am I doing? With my life? With my brain? With my anything?" My kids are terrific, but of course, I can't know that is all down to me, this awesomely attentive mothering they have had. Maybe they would have been just as well had they trotted off to school at 5, just as most all others do. Maybe they would even be better.

 

Cheer me up, mates. I'm at the bottom.

 

 

ETA: fixed title typo

Edited July 7, 2016 by Quill

[Guest]

I have no words to cheer you up but maybe misery does love company?? A quick search of my past posts will tell you that you are not alone.

 

I totally understand what you mean about being a taker. We've had budget discussions that revealed to me that I spend almost all of the money that is spent in the house. How much does that suck fur DH??

 

I have one more year with a little at home. I'm spending that year improving my computer skills and putting out job feelers. Having a simple plan makes me feel a bit better.

[Shelly in IL]

My youngest is a junior this year. I've taken a very part time job that is not about the money, it's really greeting and helping patients in a chiropractors office. But the job is very fast paced and very social. It meets all of my needs (except $$). It has changed my personality back to sunny and fun.

[Faithr]

Aw, I know the feeling, especially when the kids get older and their lives get complicated and they are dealing with issues.  I think in our culture all our kids are supposed to turn out superstars especially when we've followed the book on being attachment/attentive parents. (That's the issue I've been dealing with lately).

 

 But, don't despair.  First of all, life is a seasonal thing.  You are just changing seasons.  Time to start putting last season's clothes and accoutrements away and get out ones more appropriate for the new season.

 

For me, I've got myself a little job teaching Latin at a co-op.  I plan to keep that up.  I also started back to school working on a master's.  So that's how I'm dealing with the fact that the season of homeschooling is closing for me.  I've still got an upcoming 12th grader and 10th grader.  Also, if my oldest dd ever has a baby, I promised her a year's worth of free daycare!  So maybe I have that to look forward to!  

 

Anyway, if I were you, I'd start fishing around for what to do post-homeschooling and maybe get a foot in the door somewhere.  But just because things are changing does not mean that what you've been doing is worthless.  Don't conflate feeling lost now with never having purpose.

 

Sorry, I didn't address the financial issue.  But my dh is workaholic who I can't imagine actually ever retiring.  

Edited July 6, 2016 by Faithr

[TranquilMind]

You are not alone.  I don't really feel it so much in a financial sense as in a "now what?" sense. 

 

I feel like I have launched some extremely independent individuals and it's all over. 

ETA:  Sorry, I'm no help. 

 

I hope your day/week gets better. 

Edited July 6, 2016 by TranquilMind

[zoobie]

Every. Freaking. Day. I'm almost 41, and there's no light at the end of the tunnel. It's endless and pointless.

[Azalea]

You said it all, I'm in the same boat.

 

My youngest is almost 15, so I'm a little closer to being finished as a stay at home mom, but I also have no great career to jump into and a husband who would really like a break. My younger two do charter school from home after formerly being solely homeschooled.

 

My husband and I are trying to stay sane by planning for our future. We have been spending a lot of time thinking about living outside of America, somewhere tropical when our kids are older. We know kids often don't leave the nest until late 20's or even early thirties, so we are considering leaving the nest to them! We could move to a low cost geo, they could have a rent free house for many years, we would have a base to come home to when needed. We are reading, "The International Living Guide to Retiring Overseas on a Budget: How to Live Well on $25,000 a Year. The most eye opening thing about this book is how much lower the cost of medical coverage is many places and the service is better. You can fund at least half the cost of your annual expenses simply by how much you will save in medical costs. We are almost thinking how can we afford not to move.

 

But none of that solves the problem of not feeling like my life has adequate purpose and meaning. 

 

 

[myfunnybunch]

You are singing my song.

 

I have found some sense of purpose in volunteering in a leadership position with a community music organization for children. Not only do my children participate, it offers something to the community that I feel is really important. It helps a little, but anyone could do the bit I'm doing.

 

Maybe this "What next?" feeling is the lull before we start the next great adventure in our lives. (We can hope.)

[Carrie12345]

I'm struggling, but with the added twist of still being committed to doing it ALL over again!  Sometimes that helps, knowing I have another 12 years of doing what I love ahead of me.  Other times it's terrifying, knowing I'll be 12 years older when I'm officially phased out.

[TammyinTN]

Yep...I'm in the same boat and I lay awake at night thinking about it.  

[Guest]

You are singing my song.

 

I have found some sense of purpose in volunteering in a leadership position with a community music organization for children. Not only do my children participate, it offers something to the community that I feel is really important. It helps a little, but anyone could do the bit I'm doing.

 

Maybe this "What next?" feeling is the lull before we start the next great adventure in our lives. (We can hope.)

I know; I have actually had a framed quote by C.S. lewis hanging beside my bathroom mirror, singing about how one is never too old to dream a new dream. I hung it there when I went back to college and it has been inspiring. I got my AA, but haven't felt I have time and money to finish up the BA. So, sometimes I snort derisively at that quote that I don't know what "dream" I ought to pursue and that it's just like a man to say that because he wasn't occupied all the live-long day with raising small people into great big people. ;)

[Tess in the Burbs]

I'm there with you.  We had a better school year, but since we moved two years ago I really haven't found a close friend, and while my dd is thriving, my son is not.  I keep saying it's a season, but honestly?  I want change.  I am DONE.  I won't put them in school.  Dh would never let me.  But I need something to do.  I have been looking for a part time job, but we only have 1 car.  And I still need to homeschool.  We don't co-op, so almost all is still done with me.  Who would hire someone who can only work 3-4 hours a day, just a few days a week with no weekends?  And who hasn't worked in 15 years??  I have no interest in going back to school.  I don't think I can make it through 5 more years though.  Dh is miserable at his job, but nothing good has come up to switch to.  I feel stuck.  He feels stuck.  My son is lonely.  It's awful :(

 

So yes, I totally get what you are saying.  I want to change and do something else with my life.  I just think it's going to have to wait until the kids launch.  And my son keeps saying he's not leaving....ugh

[Hilltopmom]

I hear you.

Not that I want to go out & get a job or anything, either. Ugh.

 

I just want a break from everything. For like, a few years.

 

I am seriously thinking about having the littles attend public school when they are old enough. Then just finish up my last teen at home.

[Janeway]

Mine is related to family. I let some very toxic people run my life. I hate that I did. I cannot believe the decisions I let others make for me. In some cases, my husband enforced it. So for example, I never wanted to live here or give up my career. But, he wanted to live here. So, he moved here and told me if I do not like it, then I am on my own, but he was still going. I wish I had said bye then. I have relatives who have stood over me and making judgements about everything from family size to, just everything. Like if I went on vacation, they would call me constantly and complain about it. And I let them. Ugh! 

 

Now I want to move and try to reclaim what I lost, but I feel like it is all just lost. No reclaiming can happen. 

[SparklyUnicorn]

 

I'm just thinking, as I clean out the fridge of furry cheddar and mysterious take-out that got smooshed to the back behind the yogurt, "What the hell am I doing? With my life? With my brain? With my anything?" My kids are terrific, but of course, I can't know that is all down to me, this awesomely attentive mothering they have had. Maybe they would have been just as well had they trotted off to school at 5, just as most all others do. Maybe they would even be better.

 

Cheer me up, mates. I'm at the bottom.

 

This sounds like the makings of a good book!

[Guest]

Mine is related to family. I let some very toxic people run my life. I hate that I did. I cannot believe the decisions I let others make for me. In some cases, my husband enforced it. So for example, I never wanted to live here or give up my career. But, he wanted to live here. So, he moved here and told me if I do not like it, then I am on my own, but he was still going. I wish I had said bye then. I have relatives who have stood over me and making judgements about everything from family size to, just everything. Like if I went on vacation, they would call me constantly and complain about it. And I let them. Ugh!

 

Now I want to move and try to reclaim what I lost, but I feel like it is all just lost. No reclaiming can happen.

 

Awww. That makes me sad for both of us. :(

[Guest]

This sounds like the makings of a good book!

:D Well, I *am* Quill!

 

 

 

 

Not that it's earned me a red cent yet... :D

[SparklyUnicorn]

I guess if you were doing something completely different the potential would be there for you to find some problem with it, and you'd wonder if doing something else would be better.  I think I would have been riddled with guilt if I had opted to remain working long hours because I was raised with that message (pounded into me) of my kids being the most important thing, and I was to express that by staying home with them.  That and whole mom guilt thing.  Guilt is in the job description.

 

 

[prairiewindmomma]

My goodness, everyone!

 

I may not earn a paycheck, but what I do is valuable.  I had my staring into the cogs of history and seeing my utter smallness moment a few years ago when I was quite ill. I do not define myself by what I do, but by who I am.  My work may be unpaid, but it's valuable.  I fill in those small gaps where society begins to fall apart by offering service--a nap for a new mother, a meal for the sick, a half hour of conversation for the lonely.  My work allows my husband to have his evenings and weekends and vacation time.  My work allows my kids to have OT and other services that they couldn't access to the same degree if I were working and they were in school.  

 

My choosing to come home meant walking away from millions of income over the course of my lifetime.  I count it as a conscious investment into civility, society, and service. 

[Guest]

I guess if you were doing something completely different the potential would be there for you to find some problem with it, and you'd wonder if doing something else would be better. I think I would have been riddled with guilt if I had opted to remain working long hours because I was raised with that message (pounded into me) of my kids being the most important thing, and I was to express that by staying home with them. That and whole mom guilt thing. Guilt is in the job description.

I know; it's so true. If I were working, FT, I would feel guilt about some struggles my one son has..."Oh, see? I knew I shouldn't send him off to school! I have a fully funded IRA, but my kid needs counseling! I screwed up..."

 

Nope. Instead, I get to place alll the blame squarely on my own questionable teaching skills, whilst being fully aware that I don't have a fully-funded (or even barely-funded) IRA account...

[Guest]

My goodness, everyone!

 

I may not earn a paycheck, but what I do is valuable. I had my staring into the cogs of history and seeing my utter smallness moment a few years ago when I was quite ill. I do not define myself by what I do, but by who I am. My work may be unpaid, but it's valuable. I fill in those small gaps where society begins to fall apart by offering service--a nap for a new mother, a meal for the sick, a half hour of conversation for the lonely. My work allows my husband to have his evenings and weekends and vacation time. My work allows my kids to have OT and other services that they couldn't access to the same degree if I were working and they were in school.

 

My choosing to come home meant walking away from millions of income over the course of my lifetime. I count it as a conscious investment into civility, society, and service.

Okay then. I want to be you. :)

[prairiewindmomma]

Mine is related to family. I let some very toxic people run my life. I hate that I did. I cannot believe the decisions I let others make for me. In some cases, my husband enforced it. So for example, I never wanted to live here or give up my career. But, he wanted to live here. So, he moved here and told me if I do not like it, then I am on my own, but he was still going. I wish I had said bye then. I have relatives who have stood over me and making judgements about everything from family size to, just everything. Like if I went on vacation, they would call me constantly and complain about it. And I let them. Ugh! 

 

Now I want to move and try to reclaim what I lost, but I feel like it is all just lost. No reclaiming can happen. 

 

Every day is a new beginning. For real.  May I gently suggest some counseling, for some outside advice on planning a new future? 

[prairiewindmomma]

Okay then. I want to be you. :)

 

You're hilarious. ;) 

 

Seriously, it was a very profound God-given moment to realize that the feeding of souls is of worth.

 

On a related note, have you ever read Edie Wadsworth's blog: lifeingraceblog.com ? She has some really profound thoughts on vocation, avocation, and service.  

[Guest]

You're hilarious. ;)

 

Seriously, it was a very profound God-given moment to realize that the feeding of souls is of worth.

 

On a related note, have you ever read Edie Wadsworth's blog: lifeingraceblog.com ? She has some really profound thoughts on vocation, avocation, and service.

Nope. I'll check it out. :)

[Tap]

I am right there with you.  I do work outside the home, but I am in a position that has zero opportunity for advancement.  I am a pharmacy tech for a large company.  My company used to be great to work for and we were paid well.  Over the past 7 years we have had squat in raises and our health insurance has doubled, so I bring home quite a bit less now than I did then.  I only stay, because I need to have a certain schedule due to dd9 behaviors and therapies, This location will let me do that. (I work 6 days a week so I can be home earlier each day).  We had a employee leave to go to another company and with 1 year of experience as a tech. He will make more than I do, at his starting pay. I feel very, very stuck in my job.

 

I always wanted an education, but now feel it is completely pointless. We have no money for me to go back to school. I have no career plans that would make taking out loans as a viable option. 

 

Dh and I get along fine as friends but haven't been a couple in many years. We are riding out the time as roommates until my dd17 leaves home. I refuse to raise my older kids in a split family (since dh and I do get along, it isn't a family of discord) so we bide our time. DD9 (my great niece) spends time with her bio-dad each week so she already has a split family. There is no planning for the future with him. 

 

There are no retirement dreams. I have a back injury so as I age, I will eventually be crippled unless they invent a way to fix me.  I figure I will be working well into my 60s to afford to live as a single person.  Retirement will not be a step towards enjoying that stage of life, but only because I will not be able to function in my job any longer.  It will likely be a defeat, not an accomplishment.

 

The hardest part of all, is that all of my friends have real careers and continue to build momentum. They are MDs or Pharmacists who have special credentials and careers above the normal jobs. 2 friends who are working on school, and a new career that will come along with that, and 1 friend who is a govt engineer who is a supervisor and could retire at 40 with the amount of money I will eventually have at 60.  I have a simple trade school education, that pays me the same or less than a grocery store cashier.  I could be replaced and not missed in a matter of a couple of weeks because my job has zero demand due to over populated work force.

 

Edited July 7, 2016 by Tap

[happi duck]

(hugs)

 

I'm struggling too.

[Guest]

My goodness, everyone!

 

I may not earn a paycheck, but what I do is valuable. I had my staring into the cogs of history and seeing my utter smallness moment a few years ago when I was quite ill. I do not define myself by what I do, but by who I am. My work may be unpaid, but it's valuable. I fill in those small gaps where society begins to fall apart by offering service--a nap for a new mother, a meal for the sick, a half hour of conversation for the lonely. My work allows my husband to have his evenings and weekends and vacation time. My work allows my kids to have OT and other services that they couldn't access to the same degree if I were working and they were in school.

 

My choosing to come home meant walking away from millions of income over the course of my lifetime. I count it as a conscious investment into civility, society, and service.

My life is mostly this kind of volunteer work. And I hear people say "oh, it is so nice that you don't work and can do this great thing for our kids". But then I see those same people post photos of their fancy vacations that we can't afford and I think "gosh, why am I working so hard to benefit society just a little when I could work the same amount to benefit my own kids so much more". So, I'm moving toward a real job instead of volunteer work. Sad but true.

[KungFuPanda]

And THIS is what happens when we finally get a minute to ourselves to complete a thought? If we were men we'd be buying motorcycles or getting a mistress at this point.

[Katy]

I didn't read the whole thread.  You're not alone.

 

It sounds like your DH could use some office help.  Perhaps you could work part-time on collecting payments, making things more efficient, and coming up with cheaper sourcing?  It would give him a slight break and you a way to contribute.

 

If that's not an option, perhaps you can find a way to pursue your own passions?  Kids in middle and high school don't require much instruction.  More verification that they're doing the work.

[Guest]

Tap, I can't quite bear to "Like" your post. I hear ya, though.

[SparklyUnicorn]

I know; it's so true. If I were working, FT, I would feel guilt about some struggles my one son has..."Oh, see? I knew I shouldn't send him off to school! I have a fully funded IRA, but my kid needs counseling! I screwed up..."

 

Nope. Instead, I get to place alll the blame squarely on my own questionable teaching skills, whilst being fully aware that I don't have a fully-funded (or even barely-funded) IRA account...

 

I can relate.

 

And I sometimes think it was unfair to be told I'm supposed to stay home.  Nobody told my DH that.  When the kids are messed up, the mother is always to blame.

[Guest]

I didn't read the whole thread. You're not alone.

 

It sounds like your DH could use some office help. Perhaps you could work part-time on collecting payments, making things more efficient, and coming up with cheaper sourcing? It would give him a slight break and you a way to contribute.

 

If that's not an option, perhaps you can find a way to pursue your own passions? Kids in middle and high school don't require much instruction. More verification that they're doing the work.

I am already DH's office help. I have been his secretary for 20 years. It's one part of the puzzle that makes FT work not extremely appealing to me because he would still need a secretary (unless I was so well paid that he could quit all but the property managment), which means I guess I would be paying suppliers and filing tax forms late on Thursday nights or whenever.

 

I feel guilty for having left DS (now 16) largely to his own devices when he was middle school age and I was at college and working PT. He has some academic struggles (getting to the bottom of it now) that I have convinced myself would not be the case had I given him much more direct instruction in those years. This is one reason I feel like I cannot fall down on the job with younger DS; I *must* give him direct instruction in all of the things he is weak at absorbing incidentally, so I am not in the same boat with him I am now in with my beautiful second-born son. :(

 

See? Guilt again. Guilt is my constant companion, my best buddy.

[fairfarmhand]

I'm sorry you're feeling like that.

 

It's hard to take satisfaction in "volunteering" and "helping others" when your dh is unhappy with his job and the mortgage company is deciding what your life is supposed to look like.

 

I can see myself there in a few years, although financials aren't as difficult for us because my dh likes his job and it pays well enough.

[Guest]

And THIS is what happens when we finally get a minute to ourselves to complete a thought? If we were men we'd be buying motorcycles or getting a mistress at this point.

Lol, well DH has a garage stuffed with toys, so I am hoping that means he has not gone the Ashley Madison route...

[myfunnybunch]

And THIS is what happens when we finally get a minute to ourselves to complete a thought? If we were men we'd be buying motorcycles or getting a mistress at this point.

 

:lol:  :lol:  :lol: :lol:  

 

Instead of cleaning the fridge today and contemplating the fuzzy cheese (Quill, you're not the only one!), I'm going to buy a motorcycle.

[Guest]

:lol: :lol: :lol: :lol:

 

Instead of cleaning the fridge today and contemplating the fuzzy cheese (Quill, you're not the only one!), I'm going to buy a motorcycle.

Hey, I've been speculating on tattoos, which my family thinks is just seriously nuts!

[G5052]

I can't remember where I read it, but one author called middle age a period of closed-and-open doors. There's also a sense of loss as some things you had hoped to do in life will never happen, your kids are growing up and don't need as much, and some have marital changes that are extremely difficult. Getting through all that can indeed be a huge struggle.

 

With one in college, one in 12th, and full-time work from home, I do have a bit more to keep me going and flexibility than most.

 

Our family is facing horrific issues yet again that I won't share here. February-April were bad, and May was the bottom; it's a little better now in July but the issues aren't going to go away any time soon, if ever.

 

I'm seeing a therapist again, went on anti-depression meds, am addressing some health issues, and joined a local Bible study group even though I don't have time. And that's helping. Everything else isn't changing, but I'm changing.

 

Don't know if that helps, but I'm a lot more optimistic than I was some weeks back. It's getting better.

Edited July 6, 2016 by G5052

[myfunnybunch]

I'll ride my motorcycle across the country and get a tattoo with you. :D

 

Except it might look more like a moped. Motorcycles scare me. Maybe I'll stick with the fuzzy cheese. Or maybe I could find a mistress who'd clean the fridge.

[alisoncooks]

Maybe they would have been just as well had they trotted off to school at 5, just as most all others do. Maybe they would even be better.

 

I've been struggling with this exact thought for a few months now...    :001_unsure:

[Valley Girl]

I've been struggling with these feelings as well. There's an overwhelming sense of doors closed and opportunities lost. 

[Guest]

I've been struggling with this exact thought for a few months now... :001_unsure:

Yep. My guilt is compounded by seeing how great "real school" has been for my younger kids. Maybe I'm the reason 15yo is so damn awkward?? Keeps me up nights.

[mamakelly]

And THIS is what happens when we finally get a minute to ourselves to complete a thought? If we were men we'd be buying motorcycles or getting a mistress at this point.

[marbel]

I have no words to cheer you up but maybe misery does love company?? A quick search of my past posts will tell you that you are not alone.

 

I totally understand what you mean about being a taker. We've had budget discussions that revealed to me that I spend almost all of the money that is spent in the house. How much does that suck fur DH??

 

I have one more year with a little at home. I'm spending that year improving my computer skills and putting out job feelers. Having a simple plan makes me feel a bit better.

 

Well, wait.  What are you spending it on?

 

I spend almost all the money that is spent in our house.  I'm spending it on:  groceries, gas, clothing for everyone (I end up buying my husband's stuff because he hates to shop), plants to help make the yard look nice, more groceries so I can provide meal for 2 families in our church who have new babies... and on and on.   He spends money at Lowe's to buy stuff for plumbing repairs.

 

Sucks for DH?  Not at all.  He doesn't want to do all that shopping (in person or online). 

 

I guess I'd feel guilty if I was spending it all on cool stuff for myself and nothing that benefits the rest of the family.  But somehow I don't think that's what you're talking about.

 

 

 

 

 

[mamakelly]

Oh wow. I'm right there with you on this. My oldest is nearly 20, my youngest is 8. I've been a sahm for 20 years. Sometimes I'm proud of that, other times I feel like I wasted those 20. I dream about still going to med school. It's never going to happen, but I have my dream.

[Caraway]

Yes. But my youngest is five, so the road ahead seems very long.

 

 

Sent from my iPhone using Tapatalk

[PollyOR]

I'm having a similar crisis.  I have two adults living at home, so I've been in denial about being in an empty nest sooner than later.  Even though I have a degree, I honestly cannot support myself financially.  DH and I have very little in common. He lost his job (19 years) this past spring and has had to take a job away from home.  I do have grandchildren, but I'm not the type of grandma who wants to babysit.  I'm 52 and ready to be an individual, not start over with parenting little people.  Once my youngest finishes school I'm sure DH will insist I go to work though I won't be able to earn much.

[Guest]

((((((((((((Quill))))))))))))))))

 

Of course I have my little, but I still had those feelings. I deleted a long, scary post about how our hormones affect our feelings and what my later 40s/early 50s have been like because it can pretty much be summed up as:

 

Have you talked to your doctor about HRT? I didn't it and look how I turned out!

 

You've gotten some great advice here. Now that I'm on the other side (fat, ugly woman with hot flashes, no periods, and fully fledged adult kids + preteen) I am VERY proud of being a SAHM and/or SAHM with jobs on the side that never defined me and only paid the bills. It was extremely hard, rewarding work that changed the world far more than any paid job ever could. It is society's lack of respect that I have a problem with and the commodification and commercialization of EVERYTHING, including homeschooling, that I find so depressing.

 

I spent four years volunteering for a nonprofit that was working to change this by overturning Citizens United vs FEC, but after leaving to homeschool the now preteen I feel that too much of my energy was wasted by the bureaucracy of the organization and that my time is better spent raising one more child and doing what I can to help individuals trust their own abilities instead of reaching for their credit cards.

 

Whether you are aware of that or not, you do the same with your posts on WTM and by reaching out to me through private messenger when I was a newbie to help me see the value in this chapter of my own life.

 

My ex-baby (Soldier Dude) did go to public high school and made many long time friends there, some of whom feel like "bonus children" and all of whom seem to be having a much harder time negotiating their 20s. He has not only thanked me for homeschooling him through middle school but has gone above and beyond what is expected of older brothers to make sure that the little guy will also be homeschooled while he is your little guy's age.

 

I don't have the links or the studies or the facts in my browser bookmarks, but do you honestly think that your DH would be able to excel at his job as much as he does if he also had to think about whether the store would even be open when he got off from work, what to make for dinner, whether he had clean clothes to wear in the morning, and everything else involved in running a household? Could he even have left the house at 4:30 if there was nothing in the fridge except mold and the eleven year old didn't have transportation to school because his bike had a flat tire or the carpool lady was sick or there was a bus strike and you couldn't take him because you had to be at work at 6 or you'd lose your job?

 

I'd have grandkids by now if the world valued the work of mothers and wives, but ds24 is picky. Hopefully society's attitude will change and he will eventually find what he wants: a mother for his children and a wife who will value her work at home.

 

hth; baby up; no more screen time left to edit.

Edited July 6, 2016 by Guest

[Guest]

IEF, wow. I'm speechless. Thank you.

 

P.S. I need to go to the OBGYN; this is most surely a factor.

 

I cried last week because I wanted a new coffee table.

[sassenach]

Yep. My guilt is compounded by seeing how great "real school" has been for my younger kids. Maybe I'm the reason 15yo is so damn awkward?? Keeps me up nights.

But then when you think back to your school years, don't you remember all of the awkward kids? The difference is when you're in school, being awkward becomes your whole identity. At least awkward homeschoolers don't have that hanging over their heads every second of the day.

 

 

to the bigger conversation-

 

I've had the same thoughts about homeschooling. Maybe it's pointless. They all turn out the way they're going to turn out. The energy spent is wasted. But then I also think of just the sheer time I have gotten with these kids. They're going to be gone soon. Life might take them across the country. They might end up like me and my mom, seeing each other twice a year. I already regret the stress I heaped on myself- the worry over teaching them right, the times I put us both in tears over math or writing. What I don't think I'll ever regret is getting to spend my days with them. I could have been working a job, coming home frustrated, bitching about my boss or an annoying coworker. I could have spent my days and years with those people. But instead I have gotten to spend them with MY people. And I like them! And I'll miss them. I don't regret that.

 

As for life- I'm going back to school and starting something new. I'm excited about that, too.

 

Way leads on to way....

[KungFuPanda]

Let's not get too crazy here. What if we just met at the go cart track and then got henna tattoos. You know . . . Midlife crisis with a side of responsibility. We'd be home before we had to start dinner!

Edited July 6, 2016 by KungFuPanda