? about movies and language/profanity

[Nestof3]

Do people really talk like this in real life? Other than teens and scummy kind of people, do normal adults actually use this much profanity?

 

I've never been around an adult who casually uses the F- word and such. I just searched a few movies just recommended on this forum on screenit, and was surprised by the language in them. It seems so unnecessary, and it got me wondering if I just don't hear this kind of language because most of our friends are Christians, or what?

 

Also -- I am not implying that non-christians would naturally use a lot of profanity. I was only mentioning that this may be why I don't hear it from people I know.

 

Do people REALLY talk like this? I don't mean the slip-up "sh*t" when one hurts himself, I mean normal conversation.

 

Example: Reign Over Me:

 

WARNING: ABBREVIATED LANGUAGE

 

 

At least 23 "f" words (1 used sexually, and 1 mouthed), 17 "s" words, 1 slang term using female genitals ("p**sy"), 3 for breasts ("t*ts"), 10 as_es (3 used with "hole"), 7 ****s, 4 hells, 2 craps, 1 S.O.B., 3 uses of "G-****," 2 each of "For Christ's sakes" and "Jesus" and 1 use of "Swear to God."

Edited October 5, 2008 by nestof3
added info

[BabyBre]

My dh certainly does, especially when he's around the guys, ya know. But firefighters are a rowdy bunch and may be an exception.

 

Most people I'm around don't swear like they're in an HBO miniseries. Maybe a couple here and there, but not excessively.

[Amy in Orlando]

I hope not. I cannot think of anyone we know well or casually who uses that kind of language. I don't think it's a Christian thing - our friends are a pretty good mix of all religions and non-religious. I just think the majority of people are pretty thoughtful and speak accordingly. Maybe I'm wrong and maybe we're just lucky. Our friends DO swear, but it's not a constant stream and they seem to be thoughtful about who's around when they use adult language.

[bairnmama]

Unfortunately, it has been my experience that yes, many people do talk this way. My dh is a Marine and the language when the team comes over for a cookout is simply filthy. I am constantly reminding them to watch their language while the kids are still up, but tend to simply remove myself from the conversation after I put them to bed. Also, the language that came from the kids next door was almost as bad. Even the 2nd grader was yelling about f*** this and you fa**** and sh** towards and about his siblings and parents on a daily basis. I do miss the days when I was surrounded by my mostly Christian, but most assuredly clean mouthed friends in high school and college. I had not experienced profanity on such a grand scale (or should I say gross scale) until moving to this predominantly military town.

[Mama Lynx]

 

Example: Reign Over Me:

 

WARNING: ABBREVIATED LANGUAGE

 

 

At least 23 "f" words (1 used sexually, and 1 mouthed), 17 "s" words, 1 slang term using female genitals ("p**sy"), 3 for breasts ("t*ts"), 10 as_es (3 used with "hole"), 7 ****s, 4 hells, 2 craps, 1 S.O.B., 3 uses of "G-****," 2 each of "For Christ's sakes" and "Jesus" and 1 use of "Swear to God."

 

Well, I definitely swear. I think I swear a lot. But I'm only maybe a quarter as bad as this list, and the list contains many words I do not say, ever.

[Peela]

I swear sometimes but nothing like that list, either.

[cathmom]

Ugh - that drives me crazy with movies! Even if people really do talk like that (although I don't know anyone who does - even the public school teens I taught last year weren't that bad!), movies don't have to.

[jamnkats]

Until we started watching The Sopranos (first and 2nd season only so far) I rarely said f*ck or f*cking but I honestly don't have a problem with it. Now I use the word adjectivally equal to "like". It is constantly coming out of my mouth. I really don't have a problem if I or my kids say it though so it isn't a problem for me. Now that we're done with season 2 though, I'm saying it much less. I guess I'm easily impressed with language.

 

The kids best friends are Mormon and the kids are constantly correcting my speech with words that are considered 'swear' words to their friends. We've never forbidden any words so this is very new territory for me - we and the kids have always been free to use any language we like - and to be honest, I find it quite stifling to have to censor myself constantly. The sheer number of words we are not supposed to say is boggling.

Edited October 7, 2008 by WTM Moderator

[MeanestMomInMidwest]

I swear sometimes but nothing like that list, either.

I swear, but not those words...except I do use the F word...not around the kids.

[hornblower]

Um, some of you would hate to listen to me blather on. I do swear. The older I get, the more I swear. Dh swears too.

 

There's only one word on that list which I don't use because I don't personally care for it. That's a pretty boring list as it stands unless those terms are used in conjunction with each other & with additional modifiers as that tends to be how we swear - in big long phrases. Extra points are given for inventiveness. Repetitive overuse of a term is generally frowned upon although in a rare occasion, it can have an almost poetic strength LOL.

 

We also use Red Dwarf swear words like smeg & smegging & smeghead; the Father Ted "fe**" is also very popular & actually has pretty much replaced the old f word in our house.

[Alaska Mom]

I hope not. I cannot think of anyone we know well or casually who uses that kind of language. I don't think it's a Christian thing - our friends are a pretty good mix of all religions and non-religious. I just think the majority of people are pretty thoughtful and speak accordingly. Maybe I'm wrong and maybe we're just lucky. Our friends DO swear, but it's not a constant stream and they seem to be thoughtful about who's around when they use adult language.

 

 

Ditto. I really don't hear much swearing. But we don't watch much tv or movies (largely for that reason), or hang with marines or firefighters much :D.

 

The worst language in our house is an occasional "dam it" when something really frustrating happens, like tonight when the blender exploded on dh he said "dam it" (while I was laughing :lol:)!

[tibbyl]

..

Edited October 5, 2008 by tibbyl
meant to send privately

[jojomojo]

I've never been around an adult who casually uses the F- word and such. I just searched a few movies just recommended on this forum on screenit, and was surprised by the language in them. It seems so unnecessary, and it got me wondering if I just don't hear this kind of language because most of our friends are Christians, or what?

 

Also -- I am not implying that non-christians would naturally use a lot of profanity. I was only mentioning that this may be why I don't hear it from people I know.

 

Do people REALLY talk like this? I don't mean the slip-up "sh*t" when one hurts himself, I mean normal conversation.

 

Example: Reign Over Me:

 

WARNING: ABBREVIATED LANGUAGE

 

 

At least 23 "f" words (1 used sexually, and 1 mouthed), 17 "s" words, 1 slang term using female genitals ("p**sy"), 3 for breasts ("t*ts"), 10 as_es (3 used with "hole"), 7 ****s, 4 hells, 2 craps, 1 S.O.B., 3 uses of "G-****," 2 each of "For Christ's sakes" and "Jesus" and 1 use of "Swear to God."

 

That was my recommendation :tongue_smilie:

 

I didn't even think about the language before suggesting it (I didn't even remember the language being so foul! I would have gave a warning :blush:). It is just one of the most moving stories. I guess I tend to look past foul language in movies IF the movie is worth it (and we usually stick to PG13). In real life, about as foul as our language gets around here is darn or gosh....gee golly lol For the longest time my children thought butt was a bad word :lol:

 

Some people do talk like that in real life. Maybe the reason I can look past foul language in a movie is because I have been around people that talked like that.

 

I stand by my rec. though :D If you can get past the language, it is an awesome movie.

Edited October 5, 2008 by jojomojo

[emeraldjoy]

Count me in as a scummy person and I am ***gasp*** a Christian. Maybe more of a pg-13 or pg rated than a R, though.

Emerald

[Kris]

Well, Sweetie does have a bit of a mouth on him. He does try to tone it down when he's home, but it's nothing like some of the movies I've seen. I'm the occasional "Oh sh*t!" person when I stub my toe, and I can turn the air blue myself, sometimes. But it's not a part of my normal daily conversation.

 

That said, it amazes me what you can hear at the mall or the grocery store! I have actually stared in wonder at the words some people use in normal conversation and they think nothing of it -- and look back at me like, "What's *your* problem?" Well, this five year old holding my hand, for one thing. It's not as bad here in Podunk as it was in The Big City, though.

[Renthead Mommy]

Original movie scrips tend to have 3 or 4 or even 5 times that many words in them. They overstock the cuss words because you just never know how many are going to get cut out from the rating/censor people (can't remember who exactly does that - that college class was a long time ago!). But they end up putting in lots of extras so they have negotiation room to keep in the words they want at the places where it is important. Sometimes they getting more cuts, so they end up with only the bare minimum of what they (the writers) orginally wanted. Other times they can end up with lots because their rating person was more easy going.

 

The other thing to think about is the moving you are watching. If the Sopranoes when around saying things like "Oh Sugar Snaps!" it just wouldn't be believeable. But then it also wouldn't be beliveable to have the sweet little Amish family dropping F words all over the screen.

 

As for cussing, I also believe it's regional. I grew up in the NYC area. The F word is primarily an adjective there. An often used adjective. It's just part of the language. You just don't really think about it.

 

My son is six. We aren't very stick on language. Do I let the 6 year old say the f word? No. But I won't go wash his mouth out with soap if he says it at this point either. I just tell him he's not old enough to know when to use it correctly. Same goes for ****. Same applies to stupid. Will the rules be the same at 14? Probably not. As long as he understands when it can be used.

 

Stupid is the word we have the most trouble with. I think mainly because it is a 'kid' word. My problem is they (all the kids, mine and the others in the area) have a hard time seperating calling an idea (Hey you want to jump off the roof?) and calling a person stupid. I'm okay with using it with the idea, just not with a person. Same holds true if they he were to call a person stupid, a f***er, or a b****.

 

Only words that are really "forbidden" are ain't and ya'll. Those he's not allowed to use.

[Melissa in Australia]

we are a non swearing family.

I just don't see the need for profanity.

because I don't swear, people around me tend to try not to swear. I do remind people occasionally to not swear around me.

I have always thought that swearing is showing a lack of self control.

[laylamcb]

My dh certainly does, especially when he's around the guys, ya know. But firefighters are a rowdy bunch and may be an exception.

 

Most people I'm around don't swear like they're in an HBO miniseries. Maybe a couple here and there, but not excessively.

 

Breann, you took the words right outta my mouth (no pun intended). It's not the way the firefighters talk to the public, of course, but amongst themselves, the talk is...pretty earthy. And DH has essentially lived there at one station or another for one-third of the past 24 years; it's hard to not adopt a little of that style. In fact, he wants to write a semi-autobiographical "novel" about the INSANE things he saw when he was on a medic unit for 15 years (he's also a writer), but he hasn't started it for this very reason: What to do about the language? To leave it out would be inauthentic, but to include it would alienate a lot of readers (like, um, our MOTHERS, for example ;)).

[Tabrett]

Dh and I don't cuss. I can't stand to hear the f word. Why use it? It is so demoralizing and hurtful and it takes a beautiful thing and makes it nasty and ugly. Dh and I love movies and we see a lot. But the last 2 we saw, we almost walked out because of the language. Both movies had great actors and were suppose to be comedies. F was used over and over. I call it bad writing. If you can't write a script that people will like and enjoy with out using word like those, you are a bad writer!!! Look at Star Wars, Lord of the Rings and most major box office hits. They are not cussing all through the movies. A few words are there, but it is not like the movie in the original poster's movie review.

I do have friends that cuss, but they whisper the cuss words when they are around kids. I appreciate that.

I'm very uncomfortable when I'm eating at a restaurant with my dc and the people next to me are using the f word. It makes me want to change tables. But then I might offend the people I was sitting next too. So it puts me in a catch 22. And I end up uncomfortable and not enjoying my meal so I won't offend other people by moving.

I know people who cuss are probably thinking I'm pretty stupid to feel uncomfortable, but I do and I wish people would show common courtesy when out in public.

[Laura Corin]

The boys remember individually the few times when frustration has boiled over into a swear word. The words are named by their occasions, for example, "The 'Daddy in the taxi on the way to Dominic's house' word."

 

Laura

[Academy of Jedi Arts]

Most people do not talk like that IRL. That is the difference between movies and reality.

[Nestof3]

Well, Jedi,

 

It seems from this post I have learned that certain professions do simply because they are a certain profession, and I have to say I am actually leaning more toward the fact that profanity is more common among people that I imagined. It seems I do just hang around a different bunch.

 

I don't think it's a reality vs movie issue.

[Ellie]

I did not grow up in a Christian home, although my extended family members were *good* people, KWIM? I never heard more than minor profanity, and didn't even hear that very often.

 

My ex-dh used That Word regularly. I was stunned. Seems to me his friends did, as well. FWIW, this was in Las Vegas; he and all of his friends were workers on the Strip.

[pqr]

I do not, or at least I try very very hard not to. Occasionally, when driving ,I have slipped up, but try to cuss in a foreign language so the children do not know of what I speak.

 

I will not ever tolerate my children using such words, so in the interests of fairness I do not.

[Laura R (FL)]

I think it depends on the group and values of the people. Some people really sound like that. I don't use profanity unless I drop something on my foot. Strong language around here is sucks, dang, and the occasional freakin'. We're really overly sensitive to it...I can barely watch rated 'R' movies. When I was growing up, I had quite a potty mouth, but just decided I wanted to clean up my act. The funny thing is that I hear my kids say they are sensitive to it, too. Even my 14yo told me of a time when some kids she knew had some alone time and they were really swearing it up. It made her very uncomfortable.

[Ria]

Constant swearing strikes me as vulgar and crass. I don't like to be around people who talk like that.

 

Ria

[dangermom]

I don't know people who talk like that. Teenagers like to do it to sound grown-up, but the adults I know don't want to sound like teenagers. I know some people in certain jobs do use a lot of profanity, but OTOH in a professional environment, it's not very common. (For example, my husband used to work at Intel. Zillions of very different people, but no unprofessional cussing.)

[Robin Hood]

I have wondered if the language used in movies has advanced the use of crude language in real life along with confrontation behavior. I think declining self control in the use of words is promoted in both the movies and in the virtual world where people talk but not face to face. I have a more respect for folks who can express themselves explaining rather than explitively. I don't enjoy many movies with a lot of bad language and rarely bother with them, but irl I try not to judge and get to the heart of the issue.

[Mandamom]

also but dh is a non-Christian swearer. he does not use that language in the house but he does use it around other people who do use it. At his last job it was very prevalent.

 

i remember when my stepsons were living with us and their mom came over to pick them up for the week-end and she said the word "hell" in a casual way and her then 7 year old said that "we don't say that word here" at which point she apologized. i laughed because whenever we're at her house for parties and whatnot her family says a lot of those words because that's what they are accustomed too. Ironically she and her husband are Christian and VERY active in their church. now that the boys are living there the boys language is increasingly worse because they hear the ****s and hells and some of the other language daily.

 

So, no, i don't consider the language appropriate, nor do i use it but i do think that many children are raised with it as 'normal' and then their kids think it is normal so they continue the cycle.

[PariSarah]

Every time he spoke to me, he would pause often, fill in with "uh" a lot, and generally take a long time to get a sentence out.

 

A few weeks ago I was gardening out back, early in the morning, and couldn't avoid overhearing him sitting out on his back porch, using the cell phone. I realized it wasn't a speech impediment. It was the best he could do without his five or ten most-used words. ;) I thought it was very sweet of him to censor himself that way. :D

 

So, I'm guessing that among certain populations, be they regional, socio-economic, or professional, profanity is the norm, yes. It's not the norm in my profession, or in my husband's family's socio-economic group. The occasional swear word is the norm in my family's socio-economic group, although my grandmother had to work very hard to give up the f-bomb when she became a Christian. :lol:

 

I generally don't even notice mild-to-moderate profanity.

[Nestof3]

I'm a little weirded out by the fact anyone would make a connection between swearing and religious belief, or lack thereof.

 

 

Perhaps it's because you are unaware of the scripture that reminds Christians to not use unwholesome speech. This article should help you understand:

 

http://isaiah543.wordpress.com/2006/05/14/profanity-a-bible-study-part-1/

 

I think I also clearly indicated that I was not implying that if one were not a Christian they would tend to use more profanity, but it is a rather commonly accepted practice that profanity is not wholesome speech in Christendom.

 

I did not see where you indicated whether you have found such profanity to be commonplace among the people you spend time with or with yourself.

[Jen500]

I don't know people who talk like that. Teenagers like to do it to sound grown-up, but the adults I know don't want to sound like teenagers. I know some people in certain jobs do use a lot of profanity, but OTOH in a professional environment, it's not very common. (For example, my husband used to work at Intel. Zillions of very different people, but no unprofessional cussing.)

 

:iagree:

It doesn't bother me to watch a movie w/ a lot of swearing, though--if the movie is good.

I stopped swearing when I had kids--they repeat everything they hear, and it's not cute to hear a 2 or 3 yr old saying some of those words.

[HRAAB]

Well, Jedi,

 

It seems from this post I have learned that certain professions do simply because they are a certain profession, and I have to say I am actually leaning more toward the fact that profanity is more common among people that I imagined. It seems I do just hang around a different bunch.

 

I don't think it's a reality vs movie issue.

 

Well, the people I know, family and friends, do not talk like that except for maybe an occasional d**n and h**l, but not often. I admit I have a real adversion towards foul/obscene langauge. This reminds me of the thread on moahwks, etc., and some people were truly bothered and uncomfortable with them. They don't bother me in the least, but foul language I can't tolerate. My dd can have a pink mohawk, but I'd better never hear any of those words from her in my house.

 

Frankly, I've never heard anyone IRL talk like they do in movies except for the occasional teenager I run into Walmart, but I know there are people who do - I just don't know them. And as for movies, if the language is too bad, my dh turns it off.

 

Janet

[HRAAB]

 

 

 

 

My son is six. We aren't very stick on language. Do I let the 6 year old say the f word? No. But I won't go wash his mouth out with soap if he says it at this point either. I just tell him he's not old enough to know when to use it correctly. Same goes for ****. Same applies to stupid. Will the rules be the same at 14? Probably not. As long as he understands when it can be used.

 

Only words that are really "forbidden" are ain't and ya'll. Those he's not allowed to use.

 

I'm 48 and I still don't know how to use the 'f' word correctly, so I'm wondering: how and when is it appropriate to use this word?

 

I don't allow stupid or ain't either. No one uses ya'll, but that is probably due to location.

 

Janet

[Asma_08]

Every time he spoke to me, he would pause often, fill in with "uh" a lot, and generally take a long time to get a sentence out.

 

A few weeks ago I was gardening out back, early in the morning, and couldn't avoid overhearing him sitting out on his back porch, using the cell phone. I realized it wasn't a speech impediment. It was the best he could do without his five or ten most-used words. ;) I thought it was very sweet of him to censor himself that way. :D

 

So, I'm guessing that among certain populations, be they regional, socio-economic, or professional, profanity is the norm, yes. It's not the norm in my profession, or in my husband's family's socio-economic group. The occasional swear word is the norm in my family's socio-economic group, although my grandmother had to work very hard to give up the f-bomb when she became a Christian. :lol:

 

I generally don't even notice mild-to-moderate profanity.

 

 

 

Thats so funny. Yep I definitely think you are right. My husband is constantly coming home shocked at how much some of his customers/business associates curse. It makes him uncomfortable because we don't curse, but I guess it comes with the territory of doing business. But I get uncomfortable with cursing and am shocked when some of my girlfriends drop the occasional f-word.

[unsinkable]

I try not to judge people by how why when which how often---people swear. There can be a myriad of reasons for why people swear --- and I'm not going to point at them and think they are scummy or crass or vulgar or sinners.

 

I think the original question was a loaded question, whether it was intended to be or not. Other than teens and scummy kind of people, do normal adults actually use this much profanity?

[sagira]

I don't swear and don't like movies with swearing. I can't believe ds took me, at 8 months pregnant, to see Knocked Up! :blink:

 

Dh has done away with the major bad words for the sake of the kids (after a LOT of talks and lectures from me), but has kept his milder "d**n, hell, etc. Even I use hell but I didn't take that was bad (I come from another country originally).

 

I NEVER use the f-word. I find it offensive, and all my friends know to avoid it around me. That said, my FIL and BIL never stopped using any kind of swear words around me even if I asked numerous times :rolleyes: BILs tone it down around the kids, no f-words. Grandpa forgets and uses it anyway :rolleyes:

 

Anyway, I think swearing is personal and I have no real problem if a family swears amongst themselves, but it's not good manners if you swear with people who are uncomfortable swearing.

 

That said, there's no swearing when being my friend, there's no swearing in my family and no swearing from my kids.

 

I have to draw the line somewhere!

[Nestof3]

I think the original question was a loaded question, whether it was intended to be or not. Other than teens and scummy kind of people, do normal adults actually use this much profanity?

 

You can see it that way if you like, I was asking a sincere question. I was asking the hive because I consider you people "normal" adults. I consider the people I know to be normal adults. I didn't start the thread to discuss people who use profanity, but because most movies I screen to watch have what I would consider an obscene amount of profanity, and I am honestly wondering if perhaps this is normal among normal adults.

[Joanne]

I think it depends on the group and values of the people.

 

I lead a bifurcated life. :tongue_smilie:

 

I spend 21+ hours a week in bars. ;) Predictably, I hear the most swearing there. Since I am there managing an organized activity *in* the bar that attracts a variety of people, I do experience something I consider encouraging. If a person is "over the top" with their word choices or frequency of swearing/vulgar language, the table typically tells them to tone it down. I know I will, also, if I am around to hear it. I've *never* had anyone refuse to try; it seems that some standard of language is an accepted target - even in that environment.

 

I swear on occassion. My children have heard all the adults in their life (well, I don't know about their Step Mom) swear. Not often, but it happens.

 

I swear infrequently enough that it's noticed when I do.

 

I *do* think that the language representation in movies/media is an exaggeration from the general public's actual use.

[ChristusG]

We do not swear, I did not grow up with swearing, and I am very uncomfortable around people who do swear. And yes, we are Christians.

 

I just dont see the point in swearing. I do not look highly upon people who spew curse words out of their mouths. I can overlook a word here and there if you get injured or something.....but just for the sake of saying it? No, I dont like that.

 

And if I knew people who did swear a lot, we would not be spending very much time with them any longer. My oldest is 4 years old and has no clue what a swear word is. I'd like to keep it that way for as long as possible.

 

I absolutely cannot stand when writers throw swear words into movie scripts just for the heck of it. Some of the best written, highest grossing movies are those without curse words.....so yes, it can be accomplished. I will not hesitate to turn off a movie if there is too much cursing.

[mrsdash]

I grew up in a swearing household. I swear, at times, like a sailor. Some people I know swear as often as I do, others don't swear at all. If I think my mouth will offend those who don't swear, I tend to edit myself.

I've told my kids that it's not always the word but the intention behind it. I can say "I have a f****ing great time with you" and although crass, was a nice thing to say. I could say "I hate being with you,you are so ugly"... having not sworn at all and what I said was much more hurtful.

In any case, I know my 16 yr.old is a lover of words and told me that I can always find another word, less crass to use. I just think that some words fit the bill for me.

[jamnkats]

I just dont see the point in swearing. I do not look highly upon people who spew curse words out of their mouths. I can overlook a word here and there if you get injured or something.....but just for the sake of saying it? No, I dont like that.

 

Well, I guess the point is that some people don't consider your swear words to be swear words.

 

Our kids' friends consider the following to be swear words: "penis, breast, vulva, God, ass, ****, hell, ****, crap, darn, piss, pissed, PO'd, *****" etc. and it doesn't matter what the context is. If I'm discussing a ***** (female dog) with the kids I am not "allowed' to say "*****" if the neighbor kids are around. I am not allowed to say the word "god" regardless of context. If I am talking about being really really angry, I am not "allowed" to say "pissed". If I am talking about a body part, I am not allowed to say the body part. It is important to my kids and important to their friends, so I don't say the words (or I try not to) but I honestly don't understand why body parts are "swear" words. And why stating the name of a diety is considered a swear word (not god****, but simply the word "god"). They can't tell me WHY any of these words are considered swear words, just that they are. So I try very hard not to say them.

 

The weird thing is, these kids call anyone who doesn't think or act they way they do "retarded". I find that incredibly offensive and have told them why and when my kids starting picking up that habit I talked to them and told them how I felt.

[emeraldjoy]

:iagree:Thanks.

Once at a friends house my 7 year old said "crap" and things got very, very wierd....awkward silence type of thing.....then "we don't say that in our house"

 

However the next day the same friend's little boy was chasing my two year old around talking to him about his "wanger"; a slang for "penis". I was sort of wierded out by this term and it made me feel VERY uncomfortable.

 

So, so, so subjective as are most things.

[Academy of Jedi Arts]

I could not imagine making a big deal out of someone ELSE'S kid using a word I might not want my dd to use. I mean, I raise my own kid and they raise theirs. But it's not like I can keep my dd in a bubble where she only hears the words I want her to hear. If my kid is so impressionable as to repeat things simply because she hears other people say them, then *I* as a parent need to do more work on being a leader not a follower and having our own identity that is not a copy of or dependent on the identity of someone or something else.

[Melissa in CA]

Constant swearing strikes me as vulgar and crass. I don't like to be around people who talk like that.

 

Ria

 

:iagree: DH and I do not cuss...it is just not part of our vocabulary. To cuss I would have to purposely think about it to actually do it :blink:. It's just not in there...ya know? And I do watch movies...I don't live in a commune somewhere outside of society.

 

When I hear an adult say the 'F' word I lose a bit of respect for him/her, and if they cuss excessively, I lose all respect. I feel it's a character issue and a total lack of self control. I can understand teens, they are immature and trying to be "cool." But, adults? Please.

 

My 2 cents worth.

[Melissa in CA]

:iagree:Thanks.

Once at a friends house my 7 year old said "crap" and things got very, very wierd....awkward silence type of thing.....then "we don't say that in our house"

 

However the next day the same friend's little boy was chasing my two year old around talking to him about his "wanger"; a slang for "penis". I was sort of wierded out by this term and it made me feel VERY uncomfortable.

 

So, so, so subjective as are most things.

 

As mentioned in my other post, we don't cuss, but you are right it IS very subjective!

 

For instance, when my son visits his cousins he is not allowed to say: Holy Cow!....Dang!...Shoot!...Sweet!...or any other fun harmless non-cussing exclamations. No personality allowed at that house...no sirreee. Drives him crazy. It's like he's visiting the word police.

[PariSarah]

I could not imagine making a big deal out of someone ELSE'S kid using a word I might not want my dd to use.

 

I censor the neighborhood kids when they come to my house. Oh, boy, howdy. It's not that I don't want my kids knowing the words. I don't have any illusions about how they talk when we're not around. :glare: I'm sure ds10 knows more profanity than I do, in at least two languages.

 

But my yard is a violence-, insult-, and f-bomb-free zone. Just because it may be the only violence-, insult-, or f-bomb-free zone they ever come across. And because they effort they have to make to abide by my rules is good for them. They hafta deal with the crazy white lady's dopey rules if they want to play with the crazy white lady's sports equipment. :D They tend to scream at each other less in my yard than in their own yards. It's good for them. ;)

[Scarlett]

I've told my kids that it's not always the word but the intention behind it. I can say "I have a f****ing great time with you" and although crass, was a nice thing to say. I could say "I hate being with you,you are so ugly"... having not sworn at all and what I said was much more hurtful.

In any case, I know my 16 yr.old is a lover of words and told me that I can always find another word, less crass to use. I just think that some words fit the bill for me.

 

I have to say....if someone said your first example to me, I would not think, 'what a nice thing to say to me--even though it was crass.' My brain would have short circuited at the F word and the rest of your sentence would have sounded like 'blah blah blah' to my ears.

 

I don't like swearing. I hear it a lot out and about. I hear it in the grocery store, at the mall, and at football games. I do not like to carry on a conversation with someone who is cursing. It is very very distracting to me because it feels like a slap to my senses.

 

I do consider it to be a sign of a weak vocabulary. And disrespectful.

 

My ds8 has heard some curse words....he begs me to tell him what the F word is. :glare:

 

Oh, but as far as the question 'do normal people talk like this?' I think they do....well, some of them. Well, wait -- define normal. I'm certainly not normal...:tongue_smilie: Even though I hear swearing as I am out in the community, I do not hear it from my friends. We just don't talk that way.

[hornblower]

I'm a person who is a self confessed user of a variety of profanity & I'm shocked, shocked I tell you, at the level of disdain expressed for those of us who do. All the "it's immature, it's a sign of poor vocabulary, poor self control yada yada" comment.

 

I'm tempted to give my opinion of the people who get all huffy about swearing but I'll refrain.

[lovemyboys]

Unless it's dbil doing home repairs and construction. Everybody should be wearing earmuffs!

Yes, some professions do seem to lend themselves more to that, maybe where it's mostly guys doing hard physical work or dangerous things, without the refining influence of the gentler species??? Haha. I do get tired of a movie that just goes on and on like that with the dialoque.