Birth control in your late 40s....

[umsami]

So, it's my IUD's fifth birthday this month, and in theory it should be replaced.  I have to say, I've loved it.  It's been the best birth control choice I've made.  I wish I had chosen it earlier.  I'm 47....

 

I've read some people say that any IUD placed in one's 40s can be left until menopause.

 

I know that the Mirena folks are doing studies on effectiveness beyond five years.

 

My periods have been heavier the past few months, so I'm assuming the progesterone has worn off.

 

I did not enjoy insertion, to be honest.  Yes, it was only a few seconds of discomfort, but I really did not like it.

 

Sterilization seems a bit much at this stage of the game.  If I was already going in for something, maybe....but just for that? No, probably not.

 

Oral contraceptives are out because of a blood clotting genetic thing.

 

What would you do or what have you done?  

[ktgrok]

Just wanted to say that when I had my mirena put in they did a cervical block, which helped tremendously. I'd had someone else try and it was very painful. 

[Catwoman]

I think you should ask your doctor.

[wapiti]

Same situation.  I had it replaced last year at 46.5 y.o.

[Greta]

Considering how well it worked for you, I'd say get the Mirena again. Talk to your doctor about a prescription-strength pain pill to take an hour before the insertion, and/or a vaginal suppository to soften the cervix and make insertion easier. My first experience wasn't just "uncomfortable", it was shockingly painful and I almost fainted. The second time, we took measures. Unfortunately, I tried both types of IUD and neither one worked for me. I think it is an excellent worry-free contraceptive if you don't have the issues that I did.

[Hyacinth]

Is a vasectomy a possibility?

[Luckymama]

Dh had a V. It was the best option for us.

[Renthead Mommy]

Vasectomy.

 

Office procedure.

No drugs.

No hormones.

Much cheaper.

 

The husband had his at 35. Best idea ever!

[umsami]

Unfortunately, no...DH is not on board with a vasectomy.  

[Guest]

Unfortunately, no...DH is not on board with a vasectomy.

Not picking on your DH but men in general.

 

I hear this all the time. A couple has several children, birthed by the wife. Then, when they are done, he is a-ok with her having actual surgery but will not consider a quick snip. What?!? It makes me irrationally annoyed. I swear, if men had to give birth, we would have died out millions of years ago.

[VANURSEPRAC]

I have had 2 cooper Ts and 1 Mirena.  Loved them all.  I vote for pain pill and replace. Peace of Mind is worth the momentary discomfort/pain.

[1GirlTwinBoys]

Maybe he will reconsider if he's not getting any tea. :mellow:

[MercyA]

Not picking on your DH but men in general.

 

I hear this all the time. A couple has several children, birthed by the wife. Then, when they are done, he is a-ok with her having actual surgery but will not consider a quick snip. What?!? It makes me irrationally annoyed. I swear, if men had to give birth, we would have died out millions of years ago.

 

It's not as though vasectomies are without risk. I really don't see any reason to bash men for not wanting a "quick snip" that can lead to significant problems.  :confused:

 

ETA:  Although if, as you say, they are okay with their wife undergoing surgery, there may be some hypocrisy going on.

[Peaceful Isle]

Maybe he will reconsider if he's not getting any tea. :mellow:

LOl ;p

[Guest]

It's not as though vasectomies are without risk. I really don't see any reason to bash men for not wanting a "quick snip" that can lead to significant problems. :confused:

 

ETA: Although if, as you say, they are okay with their wife undergoing surgery, there may be some hypocrisy going on.

Please. Statistically, the V is as safe as it gets.

[Laura Corin]

I'm on my third Mirena. Its expiry is coinciding with my menopause, so the doctor is suggesting leaving it in place for another year. In your shoes, I would get another Mirena.

[FaithManor]

Not picking on your DH but men in general.

 

I hear this all the time. A couple has several children, birthed by the wife. Then, when they are done, he is a-ok with her having actual surgery but will not consider a quick snip. What?!? It makes me irrationally annoyed. I swear, if men had to give birth, we would have died out millions of years ago.

Oh yes, if Adam had been the one to be pregnant for nine months and then give birth, Cain would have been the end point of humans, LOL!

[Suzanne in ABQ]

I got my copper Paraguard IUD at age 45, and it is good for 10 years.  I'm 52 now, and just starting menopause.  I am so glad I got one that will for sure see me through the end of my fertility.  Insertion was uncomfortable, but not unbearable.  I would do it again, if I had to.  

 

In your shoes, I'd switch and get the 10 year Paraguard, unless there's still a reason to go with the Mirena.  Then, you'll be good until age 57, which should certainly see you through menopause.

 

(My dh wouldn't get a vasectomy either.  He said he would after youngest dd was born, but he would never actually make the appointment to make it happen.  When I nailed him down on it, he admitted that he really, really didn't want to do it.  He admitted it was irrational, but he didn't want to do it.  I can't see forcing a grown person to have anything done to their body that they don't want, so I didn't push the issue.  

 

My first thought was to get a tubal ligation, then I considered the Essure coil insert.  I went to the doctor, and he convinced me that the IUD would be the best choice at my age.  I'm so glad suggested it.  It's been great.

[Hypatia.]

I'm 40 and just had a Mirena placed after the Caboose was born, so I'll be in a similar spot in about 5 years (also have limited options due to a history of blood clots). I'll probably go ahead and go with another Mirena if I have too, though I really don't want to have to deal with the insertion again.

[Miss Peregrine]

It's not as though vasectomies are without risk. I really don't see any reason to bash men for not wanting a "quick snip" that can lead to significant problems. :confused:

 

ETA: Although if, as you say, they are okay with their wife undergoing surgery, there may be some hypocrisy going on.

Yep. My dh was one of the unlucky ones.

[LucyStoner]

It's not as though vasectomies are without risk. I really don't see any reason to bash men for not wanting a "quick snip" that can lead to significant problems.  :confused:

 

ETA:  Although if, as you say, they are okay with their wife undergoing surgery, there may be some hypocrisy going on.

 

Pregnancy is not without risk.  Years of birth control is not without risk.  IUDs are not without risk.  Tubal ligations are not without risk.  All of those risks are ones many women take on in a marriage.  

 

I think the issue many have with men who out of hand refuse vasectomies comes with the perception that the man is ok with ALL of the risk is carried by one partner.  

 

My husband would do a lot more than accept the risks of a vasectomy to save me another surgery.  

[Renthead Mommy]

Unfortunately, no...DH is not on board with a vasectomy.  

 

 

Well next time he gives you a nudge,nudge tell him "Sorry, I'm not on board with getting pregnant again."  And remind him of all the years/types of birth control you dealth with over all your years, add in your years of pregnancy.  Add it up and say "Well I was in charge of all that for X number of years.  Now it's your turn for X number of years.  You buying the condoms or am I for the next X years?  Oh and for extra caution, we're going to back those up with a little casual NFP." 

 

See if he's more open to the idea when his only options are limited.  And held up in comparsion to all you've done. 

[MercyA]

Please. Statistically, the V is as safe as it gets.

 

Statistics mean nothing when you're the one who ends up with a serious problem from a completely elective procedure. See Miss Peregrine's post above.

 

Look, I'm all for men doing their part and using a barrier method if necessary. Surgery seems extreme to me. YMMV.

 

I think I was mostly reacting to the sentiment I see over and over here on the boards, "If men had to give birth, the human race would die out," giggle, giggle. That's a really sexist comment. I don't know what kind of men you know, but the men I know are a lot tougher than that.

[MercyA]

  My husband would do a lot more than accept the risks of a vasectomy to save me another surgery.  

 

Your husband sounds like a great guy.  :)

[Carrie12345]

I have been a big fan of vasectomy over here, but I, myself, can't see pushing that issue so close to the end of fertility if I was very satisfied with how an IUD worked for me.  We chose V BECAUSE there were so many fertile years ahead and IUDs were no longer a viable option for me.

 

It wasn't a matter of ethics or tit for tat, but logic.  Though I may have jokingly thrown some tit for tat in there!

 

 

[73349]

Paragard was a problem for me, but since you've already had success with Mirena, that's what I'd ask your ob-gyn about.

[Guest]

Statistics mean nothing when you're the one who ends up with a serious problem from a completely elective procedure. See Miss Peregrine's post above.

 

Look, I'm all for men doing their part and using a barrier method if necessary. Surgery seems extreme to me. YMMV.

 

I think I was mostly reacting to the sentiment I see over and over here on the boards, "If men had to give birth, the human race would die out," giggle, giggle. That's a really sexist comment. I don't know what kind of men you know, but the men I know are a lot tougher than that.

Is it sexist if it's true? How many times on this board have we had a variation of "After my c-sections/cerclage/the twins/my major health issue, the doctor says I shouldn't have more kids. DH won't consider a vasectomy. What should I do?" I highly doubt most of those men are making that decision based on talking to a doctor about risks, doing research, etc. It is all about not wanting a knife near their special man place.

[Joanne]

I had a Mirena for much of my 40's. It was AWFUL having it put in; I lost consciousness. But I loved the freedom and effects for the 6 or so years. If I were younger (I am nearly 50) or sexually active (I'm not), I would have another if I needed bc.

 

I'm "in menopause" now, and would probably use a short term barrier method.

[Entropymama]

 

(My dh wouldn't get a vasectomy either.  He said he would after youngest dd was born, but he would never actually make the appointment to make it happen.  When I nailed him down on it, he admitted that he really, really didn't want to do it.  He admitted it was irrational, but he didn't want to do it.  I can't see forcing a grown person to have anything done to their body that they don't want, so I didn't push the issue.  

 

 

This is us. DH always said he would go get snipped when we were sure we were done, but when it came down to it he just really didn't want to. He has his reasons, and we can criticize them, but they're his. I could certainly pull the "I've done it all" card and if I pushed him, he'd go do it, but that feels wrong. Women want so much autonomy over their bodies, I think we need to give men the same. 

 

However, I've also said I won't do anymore hormonal birth control, and my last IUD was very uncomfortable (I eventually had it removed to stop the cramping). So we're using the Fertility Awareness Method, which means more abstinence than we'd like but seems to be the best option at this point. I know there are critics, but it's at least 96% effective and for us another pregnancy wouldn't be devastating, although it's not desired. 

[Melinda in VT]

Is it sexist if it's true? How many times on this board have we had a variation of "After my c-sections/cerclage/the twins/my major health issue, the doctor says I shouldn't have more kids. DH won't consider a vasectomy. What should I do?" I highly doubt most of those men are making that decision based on talking to a doctor about risks, doing research, etc. It is all about not wanting a knife near their special man place.

I think if you automatically assume that a man who doesn't want a vasectomy is being selfish and that it "is all about not wanting a knife near their special man place," then yes, that is sexist.

 

DH had a vasectomy in part because I was adamant that it was his turn.

 

Then we found out some studies link vasectomies to early onset dementia.

 

I hope I don't have cause to regret my insistence on a vasectomy. There are pros and cons of every birth control choice, including the choice not to use any. Each couple needs to weigh the choices in their particular circumstance.

 

 

Sent from my iPad using Tapatalk

[sassenach]

I have been a big fan of vasectomy over here, but I, myself, can't see pushing that issue so close to the end of fertility if I was very satisfied with how an IUD worked for me.  We chose V BECAUSE there were so many fertile years ahead and IUDs were no longer a viable option for me.

 

It wasn't a matter of ethics or tit for tat, but logic.  Though I may have jokingly thrown some tit for tat in there!

Me either. It doesn't make any logical sense at this stage.

 

I'm darn thankful dh got the V way back when. It's saved me about 25 years of jacking with my hormones. He didn't want to (because what guy actually wants to go through that?), but he did it because it made sense. 

 

In the op's shoes, I would probably just do what has already worked. Though the 10 year IUD is worth exploring, I think.

[umsami]

Thanks everybody.  I forgot about the Paraguard. I actually wanted it the first time around, but neither the OB nor Planned Parenthood in my area provided it, so I went with Mirena.

 

Insertion was probably not as bad the first time because I had just given birth a month prior.  I'm dreading another insertion.  I remember having a colposcopy which was supposed to be a little pinch and was agony.  

 

My OB says she's fine with me keeping this another year based on the recent studies, but I kind of feel like I'm just putting off the inevitable.   Sadly, I do not think menopause will be anytime soon...and it's possible I may need two more Mirenas the way things are going.

[LucyStoner]

Statistics mean nothing when you're the one who ends up with a serious problem from a completely elective procedure. See Miss Peregrine's post above.

 

Look, I'm all for men doing their part and using a barrier method if necessary. Surgery seems extreme to me. YMMV.

 

I think I was mostly reacting to the sentiment I see over and over here on the boards, "If men had to give birth, the human race would die out," giggle, giggle. That's a really sexist comment. I don't know what kind of men you know, but the men I know are a lot tougher than that.

And yet you overlook the sexism of men who eschew barrier methods and surgery. This is all too often seen as a woman's responsibility.

 

I have to agree with Sadie. If after living through miscarriages, a hypermesis pregnancy which put me in the hospital, an IUD which killed my sex drive, 2 c-sections and possibly more to have OUR family, I wouldn't be needing any birth control if my husband wasn't willing to step up and take *some* of the burden.

[goldberry]

There are risks associated with a vasectomy.  There are risks associated with all birth control methods (except natural, and there the risk is greater likelihood of pregnancy.)  So someone is taking the risks either way in most cases.  Most female bc methods are associated with a much higher risk of complications that a vasectomy is.

 

So unless the woman is only practicing natural birth control, the fact of the matter is that she is absorbing a higher risk of complications than a male would absorb with a vasectomy.  The risks associated with female contraception are downplayed because it is so common for women to be on them.  But they are actually pretty scary if you take the time to look at them. 

 

I have a DH who didn't want a V earlier in life.  He also acknowledged it is was an irrational motivation. I didn't push it at that time. After a few years when we were older and it was REALLY clear we were done with children, he said, "You know, this is stupid, I will go ahead and get this done."

[LucyStoner]

Thanks everybody. I forgot about the Paraguard. I actually wanted it the first time around, but neither the OB nor Planned Parenthood in my area provided it, so I went with Mirena.

 

Insertion was probably not as bad the first time because I had just given birth a month prior. I'm dreading another insertion. I remember having a colposcopy which was supposed to be a little pinch and was agony.

 

My OB says she's fine with me keeping this another year based on the recent studies, but I kind of feel like I'm just putting off the inevitable. Sadly, I do not think menopause will be anytime soon...and it's possible I may need two more Mirenas the way things are going.

Can they give you something for the pain or the worry about the pain?

[goldberry]

Statistics mean nothing when you're the one who ends up with a serious problem from a completely elective procedure. See Miss Peregrine's post above.

 

 

This is true.  And there are plenty of women out there who have suffered from the complications of birth control also, in much higher numbers.  The risk of any birth control method is real.  Someone is absorbing it. 

 

Natural and barrier methods don't have the same risks. But if it is imperative that a woman not get pregnant, those methods are not usually reliable enough for women in that condition.

[umsami]

Can they give you something for the pain or the worry about the pain?

 

I think I will be more proactive in asking for something.  The problem is that I will be driving myself (my husband is out of the country right now), and usually they don't like to give pain meds when you do that.  I suppose I could wait until he's back at home or do it closer to my Mom's house.  I actually am kind of bleh about my OB (loved the CNM at the practice but she retired).  So switching venues doesn't really phase me. 

[kroe1]

The average woman becomes infertile approximately 10 years prior to menopause. By the time we are 45, the chances of actually birthing a baby (without medical fertility intervention) is less than 3%. By age 47, the risk of birthing a baby is about the same as a young person taking oral contraceptives. Unless, I was Ashkenazi Jewish descent, I would not use any birth control at that age. the biological clock is a very powerful thing.

 

ps. There is still some slight risk of getting pregnant at late 40's, but the miscarriage rate is 90% or more.

[73349]

The average woman becomes infertile approximately 10 years prior to menopause. By the time we are 45, the chances of actually birthing a baby (without medical fertility intervention) is less than 3%. By age 47, the risk of birthing a baby is about the same as a young person taking oral contraceptives. Unless, I was Ashkenazi Jewish descent, I would not use any birth control at that age. the biological clock is a very powerful thing.

 

ps. There is still some slight risk of getting pregnant at late 40's, but the miscarriage rate is 90% or more.

 

That's probably all very statistically accurate and all, but I have a sister 24 years my junior (surprise!) because it does happen! If one is serious about not adding more children, I wouldn't rely on data about other people's fertility.

[MercyA]

I think if you automatically assume that a man who doesn't want a vasectomy is being selfish and that it "is all about not wanting a knife near their special man place," then yes, that is sexist.

 

:iagree:

 

And yet you overlook the sexism of men who eschew barrier methods and surgery. This is all too often seen as a woman's responsibility.

 

Where have I done that? I plainly said that if men were fine with their partners undergoing surgery but weren't willing to undergo it themselves, there may be some hypocrisy (and yes, sexism) going on. I also said that men should do their part and use barrier methods if necessary. I don't doubt that there are men who are sexist in the way you describe. I don't personally know any.

 

The risks associated with female contraception are downplayed because it is so common for women to be on them.  But they are actually pretty scary if you take the time to look at them. 

 

I wholeheartedly agree.

 

Natural and barrier methods don't have the same risks. But if it is imperative that a woman not get pregnant, those methods are not usually reliable enough for women in that condition.

 

Condoms combined with spermicide are as effective as birth control pills, as is the symptothermal method of NFP combined with condoms.

[LucyStoner]

 

Where have I done that? I plainly said that if men were fine with their partners undergoing surgery but weren't willing to undergo it themselves, there may be some hypocrisy (and yes, sexism) going on. I also said that men should do their part and use barrier methods if necessary. I don't doubt that there are men who are sexist in the way you describe. I don't personally know any.

 

 

He "may be" hypocritical. She "is" sexist.

 

Maybe you don't see it, but you very often go to defending men and calling women out. It's just something I have noticed. I think your intentions are good but you have a bias (we all have some!) or two in this area. That you claim to know zero men who eschew barriers and having a vasectomy, which is not at all uncommon, makes me wonder if your sample or perception is skewed somehow, perhaps by the subculture you inhabit or who you choose to know.

[umsami]

The average woman becomes infertile approximately 10 years prior to menopause. By the time we are 45, the chances of actually birthing a baby (without medical fertility intervention) is less than 3%. By age 47, the risk of birthing a baby is about the same as a young person taking oral contraceptives. Unless, I was Ashkenazi Jewish descent, I would not use any birth control at that age. the biological clock is a very powerful thing.

 

ps. There is still some slight risk of getting pregnant at late 40's, but the miscarriage rate is 90% or more.

 

Thanks. I hope this is true, but I've historically been very fertile...without any help.  My first baby was born after 35.  I've had four total...my last at 42.  While I know that it's unlikely at 47....I don't want to be the one exception.  I'm already going to be 60 when my youngest finishes high school. :)

[unsinkable]

Statistics mean nothing when you're the one who ends up with a serious problem from a completely elective procedure. See Miss Peregrine's post above.

 

Look, I'm all for men doing their part and using a barrier method if necessary. Surgery seems extreme to me. YMMV.

 

I think I was mostly reacting to the sentiment I see over and over here on the boards, "If men had to give birth, the human race would die out," giggle, giggle. That's a really sexist comment. I don't know what kind of men you know, but the men I know are a lot tougher than that.

He "may be" hypocritical. She "is" sexist.

 

Maybe you don't see it, but you very often go to defending men and calling women out. It's just something I have noticed. I think your intentions are good but you have a bias (we all have some!) or two in this area. That you claim to know zero men who eschew barriers and having a vasectomy, which is not at all uncommon, makes me wonder if your sample or perception is skewed somehow, perhaps by the subculture you inhabit or who you choose to know.

AFAIK, Mercy said a comment is sexist. Not a [female person] she.

[LucyStoner]

Also, as for the comments that it is sexist to say men couldn't deal with childbirth, I think it's rooted in humor rather than unkindness or bias.

 

Ever heard of the man cold? Is that sexist? Probably.

 

My feminist husband still gets them though.

[unsinkable]

I think the comments about man colds and men not being able to handle childbirth are reflective of the men the commenters know.

 

The men in my life are the tough it out, tape-an-aspirin-to-it men who don't like to be babied, especially not over a cold.

 

Edited to add: the women in my life are that way, too. :D

[Minerva]

The average woman becomes infertile approximately 10 years prior to menopause. By the time we are 45, the chances of actually birthing a baby (without medical fertility intervention) is less than 3%. By age 47, the risk of birthing a baby is about the same as a young person taking oral contraceptives. Unless, I was Ashkenazi Jewish descent, I would not use any birth control at that age. the biological clock is a very powerful thing.

 

ps. There is still some slight risk of getting pregnant at late 40's, but the miscarriage rate is 90% or more.

Just wondering why you would continue to use birth control if you were an Ashkenazi Jew?

[Guest]

The average woman becomes infertile approximately 10 years prior to menopause. By the time we are 45, the chances of actually birthing a baby (without medical fertility intervention) is less than 3%. By age 47, the risk of birthing a baby is about the same as a young person taking oral contraceptives. Unless, I was Ashkenazi Jewish descent, I would not use any birth control at that age. the biological clock is a very powerful thing.

 

ps. There is still some slight risk of getting pregnant at late 40's, but the miscarriage rate is 90% or more.

All of my miscarriages have required a D&C. That is not something I'm interested in doing ever again.

[MercyA]

He "may be" hypocritical. She "is" sexist.

 

Maybe you don't see it, but you very often go to defending men and calling women out. It's just something I have noticed. I think your intentions are good but you have a bias (we all have some!) or two in this area. That you claim to know zero men who eschew barriers and having a vasectomy, which is not at all uncommon, makes me wonder if your sample or perception is skewed somehow, perhaps by the subculture you inhabit or who you choose to know.

 

That's right; someone who doesn't want a vasectomy "may be" hypocritical. Without knowing someone's reasons for avoiding a particular surgery, I'm not in a position to judge definitively.

 

Sweeping generalizations about either sex based on anecdotal evidence is sexist. I went back and read Moxie's comment ("I swear, if men had to give birth, we would have died out millions of years ago"), and I stand by my criticism of it.

 

You have a good memory for what's been shared on the board, Katie, so if you say I have a tendency for defending men (ETA: and calling out women), I believe you. I am not surprised, because I do hate male bashing. I am surely biased by being married to such an excellent husband.  :) Thank you for not maligning my intentions. I'll try to watch my biases.

 

I do think you misunderstood me on one point. I didn't say that I don't know any men who don't use condoms or haven't undergone a vasectomy. I said that I don't know any men who avoid those things due to sexism (i.e. because it's all the woman's responsibility and she should bear all the risk).

 

And now I need a Sunday nap.  :)

[Guest]

That's right; someone who doesn't want a vasectomy "may be" hypocritical. Without knowing someone's reasons for avoiding a particular surgery, I'm not in a position to judge definitively.

 

Sweeping generalizations about either sex based on anecdotal evidence is sexist. I went back and read Moxie's comment ("I swear, if men had to give birth, we would have died out millions of years ago"), and I stand by my criticism of it.

 

You have a good memory for what's been shared on the board, Katie, so if you say I have a tendency for defending men (ETA: and calling out women), I believe you. I am not surprised, because I do hate male bashing. I am surely biased by being married to such an excellent husband. :)

 

I do think you misunderstood me on one point. I didn't say that I don't know any men who don't use condoms or haven't undergone a vasectomy. I said that I don't know any men who avoid those things due to sexism (i.e. because it's all the woman's responsibility and she should bear all the risk).

 

And now I need a Sunday nap. :)

I stand behind my statement. Men could not handle childbirth.

 

I'll go one further. If men had periods, they would be celebrated instead of hidden. Each boy would get a new car and a party with his first period. Birth control would be greatly advanced to the point of being 100% foolproof with no side effects. And there would be effective treatments for menopause.

[Southern Ivy]

Going off topic a bit - 
Everyone is talking about how bad insertion of the IUD hurt, but what about them taking it out? How was that?

It didn't bother me much to have one put in, but maybe that was because I had just had a baby? We're going to start trying for another baby next year, so I'll probably have mine removed next August/September.