Do you have music etc picked out for your funeral/cremation?

[luuknam]

For my cremation, Akhnaten by Philip Glass. Other than that, I don't really have any requests for specifics - whatever is simple and affordable. You?

[Jenny in Florida]

Yes, I have told both of my kids (although they were NOT happy to even have me raise the topic) that I want the "Canticle of the Sun" sung during the service and that I really, really want Norman Greenbaum's "Spirit in the Sky" played -- loudly -- at the end of the proceedings. 

[DawnM]

Yes, well, one song.  Be Thou My Vision......my favorite hymn.

[KungFuPanda]

Why would the only person who doesn't have to hear it get to pick the music?

[Joker]

Why would the only person who doesn't have to hear it get to pick the music?

 

It's a day of honoring them, who they were, and what they liked? The song my dad wanted, and we played, for his funeral made some laugh and some shake their heads at our crassness. It wasn't about them, though, it was about him.

[8circles]

No.

[luuknam]

Why would the only person who doesn't have to hear it get to pick the music?

 

Someone's gotta do it (unless you want NO music). I do think funerals/cremations are more for the people who're still alive, but they (presumably) want to remember you... so it makes sense to give them some music etc to give the funeral/cremation some of your personality to it (as opposed to the funeral home's standard package - not sure if they have that, but I bet they do). Plus, I think a lot of people don't want to think about what music etc when their loved one just died, and would be happy to know what CD to put in the player.

[Chris in VA]

A couple--I really want

s by David Crowder.

 

And a few hymns-- At the Name of Jesus , Humbly I Adore Thee, and a few others.

 

And I want some contemporary Christian music, too, but I can't think of it right now.

[Orthodox6]

Why would the only person who doesn't have to hear it get to pick the music?

 

. . . because some of us have the understanding that there is life-after-death, and the soul of the deceased knows full well what is going on.

[marbel]

There is only one song I am sure of, and my husband/kids know it - "A Mighty Fortress" - and I want it played as a triumphant march, not slowly and ponderously like a dirge.  This is important to me as the pianist who played it at my mother's funeral messed it up badly, and when I think about it still makes me mad, 13 years on.   (Not mad as in holding a grudge against the woman, whom I don't even know anymore, but just... annoyed.)

 

Maybe I will come up with more specific plans at some point.   But I trust my husband to choose hymns that I would like.

[lllll]

..

[Orthodox6]

I shall have Eastern Orthodox Christian burial, so the hymns already are in place. 

 

If I could add anything else, I always have wished that, graveside, I could have a french horn play that fleetingly brief, but beautifully haunting, horn solo from Stravinsky's The Firebird.

 

[8circles]

I think I'd like to have someone come do laughing yoga with all the mourners.  Followed by dancing and karaoke.

[The Girls' Mom]

My only request is that they don't play old hymns or sad music.  

Actually, I've told them not to even have a funeral on my account.  Just cremate me, then throw a party with lots of good food.  

[Bratsche]

The Faure Requiem - the original orchestration with no violins except the one solo part. (Reducing the chamber orchestra version by combining harp parts and horns is perfectly fine, but replacing the first viola part with violins is NOT!) 

 

Brandenburg 6

 

And afterward, One Last Drink by Enter the Haggis.

[wintermom]

 

If I could add anything else, I always have wished that, graveside, I could have a french horn play that fleetingly brief, but beautifully haunting, horn solo from Stravinsky's The Firebird.

 

 

This is simply gorgeous! 

[Bluegoat]

My grandmother and greatgrandmother, and I don't know who else farther back, had "The Day Thou Gavest Lord Is Ended" which I would also like to have.  My mother has said she would like that as well.

 

There are a few others i would like but am not stuck on - maybe Come Down O Love Divine, or A Mighty Fortress would be a good nod to my spleeny Lutheran roots.  I had This Is My father's World at my wedding and it would also work for a funeral.

 

My church offers a small choir for funerals because people have such trouble with appropriate liturgical music, so they would likely be singing plainchant.

 

Now for the wake, there are all kinds of more exotic things I would like.  Some gospel and hillbilly stuff I think.  Some local stuff no one here would know, some Townes Van Zandt, probably some Queen and Rolling Stone.  Ideally this event would be a dance and there would be plenty of dance music but I suspect that might not go down well with the family.

 

I would definitely want The Night THat Paddy Murphy Died.

[wintermom]

Never thought I'd need to start picking, or even thinking about it, so soon. I'd love to think I have 30 more years, at least, of playing and improving my tennis game BEFORE my funeral. ;)

 

I'd love to have a soloist sing, "You Raise Me Up"' with a strings ensemble at my funeral, similar to my dd's concert last night. It was beautiful! I'd certainly settle for a violin and singer do it, though. 

[AnnE-girl]

I can't remember the name of it, but my cousins played their dad's favorite rock song after the prayerful portion of his burial. It probably wasn't totally appropriate for the otherwise solemn cemetery, but it was the right send off for him.

 

I would choose "On Eagles Wings" for one of the songs at my funeral, because I think it's beautiful. I still have a hard time not crying when it's played on a regular Sunday thirteen years after my grandpa's funeral.

[Artichoke]

Yep, I've let my dh known that the song Jesus Loves Me is one of my favorites.

[Orthodox6]

The Faure Requiem - the original orchestration with no violins except the one solo part. (Reducing the chamber orchestra version by combining harp parts and horns is perfectly fine, but replacing the first viola part with violins is NOT!)

 

Brandenburg 6

 

And afterward, One Last Drink by Enter the Haggis.

NEVER replace a viola! Rank heresy!

[happypamama]

I've not specifically requested it, but anyone who knows me well should know that I would like to have "Be Thou My Vision," all the verses, and it should be sung by a male voice, rather than a female one, because I don't generally like female singers much. Unless they can get it done in Gaelic. Then a female would be okay.

[luuknam]

No, because I've probably got about 30 more years to think about it.  Tastes can change in 30 years.  ;)

 

Well, Akhnaten has been my pick for I guess almost a decade? Not sure how long - long time. I'm 30, and based on my family history, I may very well live to be 90. That said, I don't have a crystal ball. People die at all sorts of ages.

 

If I change my mind, I'll just let people know.

[flyingaway]

I've never thought about it and will probably leave it that way. Not really into music. I did, however, in as much detail as possible and to the horror of my family, express my opinions about being shut up in an expensive box, embalming fluids, bugs, mouldering away, etc. I'm pretty sure I'll get the cremation I want. There were also threats of haunting.

[HRAAB]

No, I don't for me.  I'm not musical and don't think too much about music.

 

Dh has asked for SOS by ABBA.  His request, fine.  But there's no way that can be played during a Catholic Mass so I promised to have it played at the funeral dinner.

[krsmom]

I keep reminding my husband that he MUST play "If You Don't Know Me By Now", not the whole thing, just "If you don't know me by now, you will never, never know me...."

 

I figure the people that know me will get it and who cares about the others. Hubby doesn't share my humor though...

[HRAAB]

I can't remember the name of it, but my cousins played their dad's favorite rock song after the prayerful portion of his burial. It probably wasn't totally appropriate for the otherwise solemn cemetery, but it was the right send off for him.

 

I would choose "On Eagles Wings" for one of the songs at my funeral, because I think it's beautiful. I still have a hard time not crying when it's played on a regular Sunday thirteen years after my grandpa's funeral.

 

I have the same problem.  Both my parents had Ave Maria, Panis Angelicus, and How Great Thou Art at their funerals.  I think I will forever tear up when I hear them.

[Orthodox6]

No, I don't for me. I'm not musical and don't think too much about music.

 

Dh has asked for SOS by ABBA. His request, fine. But there's no way that can be played during a Catholic Mass so I promised to have it played at the funeral dinner.

Thanks for the "prompt"! I never have heard music played during the Mercy Meal; however, I can think of no reason not to play some music. Could not be of some types, I suppose. Usually, though, people still are crying, and might not want music. So I'm just musing here. . . .

[MyThreeSons]

Funny you should ask this ....

 

On the way home tonight, the Oldies station was playing "Na Na Na Na Na Na Na Na Hey Hey Hey Goodbye" and my youngest ds piped up that he wants this song played at his funeral. He reminded me that it was sung in the funeral scene at the end of "Remember the Titans". 

[SeaConquest]

I'm thinking something like this:

 

:)

[creekland]

I expect to be in Heaven by the time anyone gathers for my funeral, so I don't really give a hoot what they choose to do or where I end up.  I don't even care who gets my stuff (nothing is valuable).  Those living on can do as they see fit.

[AK_Mom4]

DH wants Bubbles ..... The one from the albums The Point.

[Seasider]

I have mentioned a few here and there, smiling and joking, but there is one, "...seriously, y'all, promise me you'll play this one." I have no doubt my kids will remember at least that one.

[Garga]

Ooooo! I used to have a running list of the songs I wanted at my funeral. They were all songs that have something to do with death but weren't necessarily sad songs--for instance "Only the Good Die Young." The list was hilarious. I wonder where I put it??

 

I come across as sweet and nice to people who don't know me well, but my close friends know I have a bizarre and unstoppable sense of humor. I totally want completely inappropriate songs played at my funeral.

[HRAAB]

Thanks for the "prompt"! I never have heard music played during the Mercy Meal; however, I can think of no reason not to play some music. Could not be of some types, I suppose. Usually, though, people still are crying, and might not want music. So I'm just musing here. . . .

 

This is what we do if there are favorite songs that aren't liturgical.  For both my mom and dad, I put together some of their favorite music from the late 40s, early 50s to play during the dinner.  There is definitely music that the church wouldn't allow at the dinner, but it's a nice time to play some favorites.  We also had slide shows showing their lives from early childhood on.  I've never been to an Orthodox funeral, but the dinner afterwards is a time for celebrating the life, sharing stories after the seriousness of Mass.    

[Garga]

They were songs like on this blog: https://www.everplans.com/blog/the-20-most-upbeat-songs-about-death

[J-rap]

Well, my kids are all pretty musical so I trust them to pick out something good.

[SeaConquest]

Nope. Once I'm gone I'm gone, and I don't really care what the kids decide to do. My preference is for no funeral, just a scattering of ashes in the worm farm and a nice family afternoon tea, but the kids are not big fans of that idea, so who knows. Seriously, couldn't care less. Put on Shake it Off or something. Don't care.

 

Sorry. I couldn't resist.

 

https://vimeo.com/111355193

[Sarah CB]

I want my boys to play all the Twinkle variations on their violins and cello. 

[Jenny in Florida]

See, I think of this as kind of a gift or message for my loved ones.

 

First, I know from watching my husband cope with planning funerals for his parents and brother that there is a lot of feeling lost, wanting to honor the loved one and do "what he/she would have wanted," which is a whole lot easier if the person has expressed any wishes or opinions.

 

Also, I think music selections (or readings or whatever) are my chance to leave some words of comfort to those who care enough about me to show up.

[creekland]

Ooooo! I used to have a running list of the songs I wanted at my funeral. They were all songs that have something to do with death but weren't necessarily sad songs--for instance "Only the Good Die Young."

...

I totally want completely inappropriate songs played at my funeral.

 

So... you're implying that you aren't good if you die young?  :lol:

 

First, I know from watching my husband cope with planning funerals for his parents and brother that there is a lot of feeling lost, wanting to honor the loved one and do "what he/she would have wanted," which is a whole lot easier if the person has expressed any wishes or opinions.

 

 

I can see this as being true if one never talks about it or shares their wishes at all.  Hubby knows very well that I don't give a hoot.  Go cheap.  This definitely shouldn't be an expensive deal.  Put on the culturally necessary show with something meaningful to them.  It sure doesn't have to be meaningful to me.  I enjoyed my time and the meaningfulness in life when I was alive.  I prefer it that way.  After death comes the next stage...

[The Girls' Mom]

Having gone through the torture of two parents' funerals, I don't want my kids to have to go through that.  Here in the south it is a long drawn out process, and in some cases more stressful than a wedding.  Then you have all these people at open-casket funerals (very common here) saying "oh doesn't she/he look beautiful!" (um NO! ) Then they play hours of depressing baptist hymns, and people that didn't give you the time of day when you were alive come by and tell your family how much they loved you.  No thanks.  Don't put my kids through that.  

So, the reason for cremation and a party here.  Wear fun clothes.  Rock out to some great music.  Eat all the good food.  Tell all my embarrassing stories. Throw my ashes in the creek or something and get on with your life.  I'll be celebrating with Jesus anyway.

[luuknam]

I can see this as being true if one never talks about it or shares their wishes at all.  Hubby knows very well that I don't give a hoot. 

 

But does *he* give a hoot? Maybe you don't care if the music is meaningful to you, but he may wish to have a funeral that was meaningful to you. Of course, he should know what kind of music you like/what kind of person you are by now. But still, then you might end up with threads like "what country songs are appropriate for a funeral". Even if he says he doesn't care, he might turn out to actually care if you were to keel over tomorrow.

 

Having music picked out also doesn't tend to add to the cost of a funeral, unless you want to hire an orchestra/band to play the music.

 

That said, if you don't want to pick out music etc that's your prerogative.

[creekland]

But does *he* give a hoot? Maybe you don't care if the music is meaningful to you, but he may wish to have a funeral that was meaningful to you. Of course, he should know what kind of music you like/what kind of person you are by now. But still, then you might end up with threads like "what country songs are appropriate for a funeral". Even if he says he doesn't care, he might turn out to actually care if you were to keel over tomorrow.

 

He actually has told me the same thing about him if he keels over first.

 

Death - and life changing for the survivor - will be a BIG thing to us with as close as we've formed our life together.  We talk more about that to be honest.  The small blip of a funeral?  Not important to either of us as far as specifics are concerned.  The survivor will plan it as they want to see it.  The reference to $$ was talking about the overall funeral, of course, not just the music.

[Jenny in Florida]

I can see this as being true if one never talks about it or shares their wishes at all.  Hubby knows very well that I don't give a hoot.  Go cheap.  This definitely shouldn't be an expensive deal.  Put on the culturally necessary show with something meaningful to them.  It sure doesn't have to be meaningful to me.  I enjoyed my time and the meaningfulness in life when I was alive.  I prefer it that way.  After death comes the next stage...

 

You've got to know your audience, to be sure. I know, from years of observing and interacting with my family, that having some information about my wishes would be comforting and meaningful to them.

[.Michelle.]

 

So, the reason for cremation and a party here.  Wear fun clothes.  Rock out to some great music.  Eat all the good food.  Tell all my embarrassing stories. Throw my ashes in the creek or something and get on with your life.  I'll be celebrating with Jesus anyway.

 

One of the best parties I've ever been to was a funeral.  The person was cremated and there was a solemn funeral Mass, but afterwards?  Whoo.  The party was at a restaurant on the water.  The deceased was in a little band and all of his musician buddies came out to play and send him off.  There were tons of family, tons of friends, tons of beer and food, and everybody was singing and eating and drinking and crying and laughing.  It was beautiful.

[purpleowl]

Yes, I've selected the hymns I want sung and the Scripture passages I want read (and which one I want used for the sermon text).  I want my funeral to convey the hope that I have in Christ's resurrection, and I've selected things based on that goal.

 

I likely still have a few decades, and I may change things around - it's in a Google Doc. ;)  But if I were to die sooner rather than later, it's there.  

[G5052]

Yes, I probably should do that.  All cheerful stuff though.

 

DH planned his eleven years ago when he was in and out of a coma, and we thought that he was headed that way.  But he's still here!

[Miss Peregrine]

Not for my funeral but a loved one: "Cosmic Love" by Florence and the Machine.

[FaithManor]

No. I am donating my body to U of MI medical school and hadn't thought about anything else. I personally would have no problem with the kids and or dh doing nothing because funerals are so darn expensive in this area. But, they can do whatever is comforting to them. DD knows the hymns and classical music that I love so if she chooses to plan something, I'm pretty sure Bach will be on the program!