I made a big mistake. New dog is a mismatch for us.

[ScoutTN]

After two years without a dog, I got a 4 yr. old sheepdog mix from a friend who couldn't keep him anymore. He is generally well behaved - doesn't dig or chew things up or get on the furniture or bark excessively. He has been around young children all the time, as my friend keeps 3 grandchildren 5x a week. He's not leash trained and my kids can't really walk him, though he loves, loves, loves to go for walks. This I can fix.

 

Two main problems.

1. He doesn't play. Won't chase a ball or pull a tug toy or anything.

2. My Ds has somehow annoyed him so that the dog has snapped at him a couple of times and snarled or growled a few times too. I know Ds provoked this several times, but at least once it was out of the blue, when the dog was lying down and relaxed and we were all petting him.

 

Dh says Ds will learn to treat the dog gently if he gets nipped. My mom says the same. I am concerned that the dog may have taken a dislike to Ds that may not change even if Ds is always gentle and calm around the dog. (Which of course will not happen.) I don't want the dog to bite Ds or another child!

 

I am concerned that the dog's temperment is just a mismatch for our family, with an impulsive, loud, rough and tumble 8 yo boy. Of course, both of our kids love the dog and Dd will be heartbroken if I give him away. We have had him almost two months.

 

We are going out of town for the weekend and next week I need to make a decision. I feel like both options are bad. And I will be so wiped out by the stress that no how will we be getting another dog for a while. But I really want my kids to have a dog.

 

This is all my fault for being too quick to take a free dog from a friend and not being careful enough in thinking it through.

 

Would you keep the dog and wait and see how it goes or cut your losses and give him away now?

[HS Mom in NC]

When I was very young child, probably 3, we got a dog we thought would be a good fit for us on the farm.  It snapped, unprovoked, at me once.  It was gone that day. He took it to a friend's house for a while until he found a new home for it. There was absolutely no way my step-dad would allow a dog to snap at me unprovoked.  I cried that the dog was gone.  I got over it.

 

I had a pony when I was little.  It died.  I got over it. 

 

We had baby goats we were raising for food.  My brother and I played with them all the time. We were about 4 and 5 or 5 and 6.    All my step-dad said every time he saw us play with them was, "We're going to eat them in a few months."  We did.  They were delicious.  As you can see, we got over it.

 

Your child will get over getting rid of the dog.  Get rid of it now.  Enjoy a new one that's a better fit for your family.  Do some research about different breeds or get a dog from a circumstance similar to yours with an owner that just can't deal with dog ownership anymore. 

[Amy in NH]

I made a similar mistake once.  I rehomed the dog that week, and found one that fit our family better who we still love 8 years later.  The kids got over it, just as they got over lambs going in the freezer and chickens killed by foxes.  You just can never know how personalities will work.  Offer doggy back to original owner, and if they don't want to choose a new home for him themselves then you can do it.  It doesn't make you a bad pet owner, just a responsible one.

[Catwoman]

If the person who gave you the dog is truly a friend, he or she will take the dog back and find it another home.

 

I think you need to trust your instincts and if your gut is telling you this dog is wrong for your family, I think you should see if your friend will take him back.

[Pawz4me]

I agree with Cat that if the person you got the dog from is a true friend (and a good dog owner) she will take the dog back.  I would contact her first.

 

Another option is to find a trainer who will come and do an in-home evaluation.  If the trainer says the dog isn't a good fit then you have an "out" with your family.  And if the trainer says the dog's issues are fixable, at that point you can then decide whether or not to work with the dog (and trainer) or return/re-home him.

 

And just throwing this out as general info -- While any breed of dog can play, different breeds tend to enjoy different types of play.  Not all dogs are particularly interested in fetching/retrieving or playing tug.

[Laura Corin]

And just throwing this out as general info -- While any breed of dog can play, different breeds tend to enjoy different types of play.  Not all dogs are particularly interested in fetching/retrieving or playing tug.

 

Yes.  My dog enjoys gentle rough and tumble: being tipped over, having her belly rubbed, then she runs in circles and jumps all over us.  She has never been interested in balls or tug.

[ScoutTN]

Thanks for the input. We are not going to keep him. I will contact the original owner today.

 

I am familiar with the general nature of sheepdogs. I had a collie/shepherd mix for 14 years. But I got her as a pup, not an adult dog. She was fabulous with kids, caught a frisbee like a champ, did tricks, played tug with a rope, played hide and seek and was always sweet and gentle.

 

My family had GSD, a lab and a golden while I was growing up. I have had housemates or immediate family who have had had various mixed breeds, a basset, a sheltie, a miniature dachsund, and Irish setter and a golden. I am not completely clueless about dog breeds generally.

 

I think we will go back to a lab or lab mix, though. Like the one in my avatar. :)

[BlsdMama]

We have one small dog and two big dogs.

 

I'd be inclined to be done with a large dog that snaps or growls unprovoked. 

 

Here's a more important question - do you think DS will change his behaviour around the dog WITHOUT being bit?  Because if not, I'd hold off on a dog for a while.  Any dog that feels threatened and provoked has the potential to bite.  A large dog has the potential for a damaging bite.

 

 

ETA: I say this because my brother was 5ish when I had a dog - 1/2 shepherd and 1/2 doberman.  The first time the dog growled/snapped at him was when he played with his food.  But the second time he was being a silly little boy and pretended to "protect" my mom from the dog by wrapping his arms around him.  He was playing as boys do.  The dog turned and snapped - but bit him just below the eye.  I actually don't believe the dog even meant to get skin.  But it was still less than an 1" from his eye and now, 25 years +/- later, he still has the scar.

 

[KungFuPanda]

If your son is going through a loud, rough-and-tumble phase, you may want to wait until he's older and has more impulse control to get another dog. It sucks to wait, but it would suck more to have to re home another dog because DS wanted to hug it and it snapped.

[MercyA]

I think you're making the right decision.  I know it's hard.   :grouphug:

 

ETA:  Our last dog had aggression issues.  We dealt with them for 13 years.  I loved him and I miss him, but I wouldn't wish it on anyone.

[Tammyla]

:grouphug: Hard decision, but better for your boy and the dog in the long run.  (Please be very honest when you return him and explain in detail your experience with the dog and your son.)  The best home for the dog may be one without children.

 

When you are ready to look for another pet, consider scheduling over night or week long visits in your home with potential dogs.  For young children, I would tell them we are pet sitting vs. seeing if a dog is a good fit.  (Lots of kids really, really want a pet to stay and overlook or hide behaviors that should be noted.)

[RKWAcademy]

I would return him if possible.  I think it was a bad fit, and you can do better next time.  It will be best for the dog and your family.  I know it is a tough decision.  I've had to return a rescue dog once.  I still feel lousy about it but I'm glad we made that decision.

[zoobie]

I agree with Cat that if the person you got the dog from is a true friend (and a good dog owner) she will take the dog back. I would contact her first.

 

Another option is to find a trainer who will come and do an in-home evaluation. If the trainer says the dog isn't a good fit then you have an "out" with your family. And if the trainer says the dog's issues are fixable, at that point you can then decide whether or not to work with the dog (and trainer) or return/re-home him.

 

And just throwing this out as general info -- While any breed of dog can play, different breeds tend to enjoy different types of play. Not all dogs are particularly interested in fetching/retrieving or playing tug.

Yes, this. :)

 

We have a golden retriever who has zero interest in retrieving. She is golden though. Lol.

 

If your gut says it's not going to work, sooner is better. It's not fair to the dog either. Your family will forgive you. Moms often have to make the hard calls. :grouphug:

[arnold]

Hearding breeds don't fetch and nipping is how they "work", that's how they heard animals. If those trait are unacceptable to you, give him back.

[SebastianCat]

We had to re-home a lab puppy that was a really bad fit for us.   In hindsight, DH & I both had a nagging feeling when we picked up the puppy from the breeder, and should have listened to it.   It was SO hard to do, and we waited several years before we got our miniature schnauzer, who is the BEST dog ever.   

 

I also think it would be best to wait a while before getting a new dog.   Let yourself and your family have some time to heal emotionally and take your time selecting the next dog.  And don't beat yourself up about this situation - it happens more often than I ever realized until we went through it.

[ScoutTN]

Hearding breeds don't fetch and nipping is how they "work", that's how they heard animals. If those trait are unacceptable to you, give him back.

These things are true as a generalization, but all 3 of our GSD and my collie mix would fetch a ball, a stick or a frisbee on land or in the water, and do it all day if I would!

 

And this dog has snapped and snarled when relaxed and lying down. Totally different thing than trying to herd something or someone.

[ScoutTN]

:grouphug: Hard decision, but better for your boy and the dog in the long run. (Please be very honest when you return him and explain in detail your experience with the dog and your son.) The best home for the dog may be one without children.

 

When you are ready to look for another pet, consider scheduling over night or week long visits in your home with potential dogs. For young children, I would tell them we are pet sitting vs. seeing if a dog is a good fit. (Lots of kids really, really want a pet to stay and overlook or hide behaviors that should be noted.)

Yes, I would never be dishonest about the dog because I want him to have a good, permanent home. Already gave the whole story to the previous owner. No response yet. We did have this dog on trial first. The "pet-sitting" ruse would not work because my kids are 8 and 10 and will know we are dog-hunting. But certainly having had to give one up will make us all more careful in our evaluation and selection next time.

[ScoutTN]

I think I'd cut my losses. You will have a nagging feeling about the nipping and then I don't think you can really make it suddenly play with anyone. What is going to happen to the dog?

I have contacted the original owner and if she can't take him then we will rehome him.

[maize]

Snapping and snarling at a child are not OK, we had to re-home a dog once because of this problem--he was a rescue dog and turned out to dislike children. We were able to find a family without any young children for him.

[KungFuPanda]

These things are true as a generalization, but all 3 of our GSD and my collie mix would fetch a ball, a stick or a frisbee on land or in the water, and do it all day if I would!

 

And this dog has snapped and snarled when relaxed and lying down. Totally different thing than trying to herd something or someone.

I can't imagine a dog wanting to fetch more than your average GSD. It's EASY to exercise them as long as you're willing to sit in a chair and throw a soggy ball :-). My favorite is pretending not to see the ball until the dog nudges my hand open and places the ball IN my hand so that I get the message.

[Trish]

DH will learn to treat the situation with more caution if he gets nipped with a plastic surgery bill...

 

Sorry you're going through this! I think for the sake of your kids (and the dog) that the dog will have to go.

 

There's probably another suitable home out there that would love this dog.

 

 

[Catwoman]

Hearding breeds don't fetch and nipping is how they "work", that's how they heard animals. If those trait are unacceptable to you, give him back.

Perhaps you didn't read the OP's posts clearly. The dog has snapped in "non-herding" situations where he wasn't trying to direct anyone's movement.

 

And I don't mean to be rude, but your statement that herding breeds don't fetch is absolutely ridiculous.

[redsquirrel]

I am glad you are finding a new home for the dog. I really think you are doing the right thing.  A kid should be able to be himself in his own home, as should the dog. 

 

Maybe the dog will be happier without kids around. Not all dogs want to be in a family situation.  Some do and it is great, but if a dog just isn't a kid dog, well... fine. There isn't anything wrong with that, it just needs the right forever home.

[SproutMamaK]

Any response from the original owner, Scout?

[indigomama]

Something similar had to us last year, even posted about it here. We did send the dog back to previous owner, it was best for us and for the dog. 

 

We waited and searched for another year! But in February we found the most perfect dog for our family. She's a two year old Chessy/Lab mix and we knew she had been in a rescue home with lots of children of all ages, and another cat and dog. She has been absolutely fantastic. She loves our kids to pieces, and if there has ever been a time when she was done playing, she just gets up and leaves the room. 

 

So, don't give up. The perfect pet is one that fits your family, and one where your family fits them. 

[Audrey]

Perhaps you didn't read the OP's posts clearly. The dog has snapped in "non-herding" situations where he wasn't trying to direct anyone's movement.

 

And I don't mean to be rude, but your statement that herding breeds don't fetch is absolutely ridiculous.

 

Not ridiculous at all. It is not an uncommon thing.  When I was a kid, we raised Shelties and did obedience trials with them.  They were never interested in fetching a ball.  We've also had a couple of GPs and they weren't fetchers either.  We have dear friends raising Bernese Mtn Dogs and those dogs don't seem to be interested in fetch either.

[Audrey]

You made a good decision, Scout.  Sorry it is also a hard one.  :( 

 

I know you like labs, but I'd suggest maybe a mixed breed with lab.  You tend to get a more even temperament amongst the mixes.  I would also suggest in your searching that you bring your rough and tumble boy with you.  Let him engage with the dog and see if there's suitability there.  I would make many such visits to a dog before deciding to take it home with you.  You'll feel better about the decision then and have less chance of having to rehome again.

 

 

[Jenrae]

I did read far enough to learn that you are going to rehome the dog if the previous owner can't handle that process. I'd like to encourage you to go to your local humane society and check out the dogs they have. Spend a few visits playing with a variety of dogs and see if one of them appears to be a good fit. Also, many of these organizations will allow you to "foster" a dog as a trial, to see if the dog is indeed a good fit for your family.

 

 

I didn't read all the previous messages, so please forgive me if this has already been encouraged.

 

ETA: to fix my many typos!

[mmasc]

I did read far enough to learn that you are going to rehome the dog if the previous owner can't handle that process. I'd like to encourage you to go to your local humane society and check out the dogs they have. Spend a few visits playing with a variety of dogs and see if one of them appears to be a good fit. Also, many of these organizations will allow you to "foster" a dog as a triall to see if the dog is indeed a good fit for your family.

 

 

I didn't read all the previous messages, so please forgive me if this has already been encouraged.

^^^^This is a good point. We adopted both of our pups from a Humane Society. They not only allow, but encourage, you to return a pet if it isn't a good fit. They would rather have the pet back and re-home him themselves. We didn't have to exercise that option, but our little red heeler had been returned to them twice before we got her. :)

I'm sorry you're going through this.

[jenn&charles]

We went through a similar situation when my kids were little. We got a dog that was WONDERFUL, until she nipped at (not in a friendly way) at one of the kids. She also had a very strong chase instinct, which wasn't good since our kids were young and running around. We took her back. It was for the best, as she was more suited for a family without young children.

 

We got a puppy instead. I think that's generally the way to go when you've got kids. We've raised two puppies over the last 14 years and it's just worked out much better as they bonded with our family and we were able to train specific things right from the beginning. I think it's harder to get an older dog to fit in, sometimes, when you have young children. Both our puppies were lab mixes. The first was a lab and herding dog mix. She had a lot of the herding dog instinct and while she was mouthy, we taught her early on to have a "soft mouth". The 2nd is a lab / border collie mix, but he has the lab temperament. He's a big goofus and such a wonderful dog. So, I 2nd the suggestion for a lab mix. I think they are good dogs for kids.

[Pawz4me]

Gently -- Many comments are being directed at the dog's behavior and finding a good next dog.  But I would urge the OP to concentrate on her DS's behavior around dogs before even beginning to consider looking for another one.  In the OP's first post she says her DS provoked the dog several times, and that her DH even said the DS would learn to behave if the dog nipped him.  Which leads me to believe both the OP and her DH realize DS is not behaving appropriately around dogs.  No dog should be expected to put up with a child intentionally provoking him.  That's putting a dog in a totally unfair, no win situation  Work with your DS.  In addition to working with him on learning appropriate behavior around dogs, you may also need to wait for him to mature a bit more.  And then think about finding a calm, bomb proof dog when you think your DS is capable of behaving around one and you and your DH are prepared to supervise the two of them 100 percent of the time for a good while.

[ondreeuh]

Oh man, you guys are really worrying me. We have a 10 month old lab mix (rescue puppy from a village) who we have had since she was 3 months old. I also have a 7 year old with severe ADHD who can be very hyper and inappropriate around the dog when he is unmedicated in the early morning/late night. Usually she enjoys frolicking with him and licking him while he crawls around on the floor with him.

 

She has become somewhat territorial of the couch, and has occasionally growled when we have tried to move her off the couch, especially if she has been sleeping. Yesterday she kept growling/snarling at ds when he walked near the couch even if he wasn't close to her. She also growls sometimes if one of the kids tries to move her by pulling on her collar. (I should add that she is really weird about being moved - she does NOT come when called - the only effective way of moving her is to clip a leash to her and then she "un-freezes" and happily goes with you. So when she wants to go outside, she will bark in the middle of the room and stay there until you get a leash and take her out the door.)

 

She has not snapped, just given a good warning. But I now I am worried. DS is unteachable when he is hyper (this is our reality, as much as it sucks) and I try to keep them separate at those times but both want to be in the living room. I have given him a million explanations of why he has to be gentle with her and not frighten her or make her feel threatened but when he is off meds he is not able to regulate his behavior. He really wasn't provoking her at all whens she growled yesterday. Then this morning he sat on the couch next to her and she went nuts licking his ears. She is usually not hostile towards him, just sometimes.

 

She also sleeps on my bed, and she goes to bed before I do. If I have to move her, she sometimes growls at me too. So now I pick up the blankets and kind of roll her to where I want her to go. :/

 

Is our situation that dire? Do I have to re-home her? What should I do when she growls at ds (especially when he has really done nothing wrong)? So far I have scolded her and put her outside, but maybe that makes it worse?

[Pawz4me]

Oh man, you guys are really worrying me. We have a 10 month old lab mix (rescue puppy from a village) who we have had since she was 3 months old. I also have a 7 year old with severe ADHD who can be very hyper and inappropriate around the dog when he is unmedicated in the early morning/late night. Usually she enjoys frolicking with him and licking him while he crawls around on the floor with him.

 

She has become somewhat territorial of the couch, and has occasionally growled when we have tried to move her off the couch, especially if she has been sleeping. Yesterday she kept growling/snarling at ds when he walked near the couch even if he wasn't close to her. She also growls sometimes if one of the kids tries to move her by pulling on her collar. (I should add that she is really weird about being moved - she does NOT come when called - the only effective way of moving her is to clip a leash to her and then she "un-freezes" and happily goes with you. So when she wants to go outside, she will bark in the middle of the room and stay there until you get a leash and take her out the door.)

 

She has not snapped, just given a good warning. But I now I am worried. DS is unteachable when he is hyper (this is our reality, as much as it sucks) and I try to keep them separate at those times but both want to be in the living room. I have given him a million explanations of why he has to be gentle with her and not frighten her or make her feel threatened but when he is off meds he is not able to regulate his behavior. He really wasn't provoking her at all whens she growled yesterday. Then this morning he sat on the couch next to her and she went nuts licking his ears. She is usually not hostile towards him, just sometimes.

 

She also sleeps on my bed, and she goes to bed before I do. If I have to move her, she sometimes growls at me too. So now I pick up the blankets and kind of roll her to where I want her to go. :/

 

Is our situation that dire? Do I have to re-home her? What should I do when she growls at ds (especially when he has really done nothing wrong)? So far I have scolded her and put her outside, but maybe that makes it worse?

 

She needs to not be allowed on the couch anymore.  Or at least not for a good long time.  She's decided that it's hers and she controls it, and you need to teach her that's not so.

 

She does need a safe place of her own to retreat to for quiet time.  That can be a crate (preferably) or a dog bed or blanket in a quiet corner.  That's where she needs to be taught to go to sleep. Your DS HAS to be taught to leave her alone when she's in her safe place.

 

If you can't totally supervise your DS around her then she needs to be crated.  Both for his safety and for hers.

 

Googe Nothing In Life Is Free and start implementing it.  It doesn't need to be done in a harsh, domineering way.  You can make it fun and upbeat so that she'll enjoy it like a game but still be learning important lessons about her place in the family.

 

Have your DS give her her meals.  You can prepare them, but let him place the bowl down (after making her sit or down or do something per NILIF).

 

I also would ban her from your bed.  You can give her a dog bed or blanket right beside your bed to sleep on.

 

She's in a period known as doggy adolescence.  You might want to Google that, too.  It's a time when dogs, like human teenagers, will try to push boundaries.  You need to gently reinforce them.

 

The situation isn't dire yet.  But you need to take some immediate steps to make sure it doesn't become dire!

 

[hornblower]

 

 

Is our situation that dire? Do I have to re-home her? What should I do when she growls at ds (especially when he has really done nothing wrong)? So far I have scolded her and put her outside, but maybe that makes it worse?

 

I don't think it's dire but I think you need to do some training.

 

NEVER, NEVER PUNISH GROWLING.

 

Growling is the way the dog tells you it's unhappy. It's a warning. Growling dogs are good dogs. You never want to extinguish growling because you end up with a dog that bites without warning. This is like the blinker light telling you the car in front of you is going to make a turn. You WANT this.

 

What you want to work on is changing the feelings/situations LEADING to the guarding.

 

What you have been doing is management, not training. You need to fix some things. Scolding & removing her is pointless & potentially harmful.

 

resistance to being pulled by a collar is common. I'd start off by keeping a long line on her during the day so you can always get something without getting in her face.

 

Find a positive reinforcement trainer - either KPA certified or Stilwell certified are excellent places to start.

Do not go to anyone who tells you to dominate your dog or banish your dog from furniture. That's not the solution. The solution is to stop your dog from guarding space & to teach her a happy & solid recall.

 

Have a look at Real Facts about dog bites & how to prevent them

 

to start training your dog on your own, check out the kikopup youtube channel.

 

you can look for ex at

 

Training Positively with Tab289 is another excellent youtube channel. Here's his video on

 

You can also check out their videos on resource guarding.

 

you can also teach a collar grab separately.

 

 

[Grantmom]

I agree the dog (in ondreeuh's post) needs training, and agree about the positive reinforcement training.  However, I don't think the dog should be allowed on the couch.  I just think that will contribute to the issue.  I would also crate train the dog and have the dog go in the crate when you can't be in charge of the dog around your DS.  I would be sure that there is an adult in charge of the dog when she is out of the crate.

[hornblower]

My reason for the couch & bed thing is that ime it's what many people fixate on but to me it's a symptom, not the underlying problem. 

Superivision, adequate exercise, loads of happy training & yup, I'd probably crate train in these circumstances (though generally I only use crates in the car or with a new dog staying here.)  I think crates are heavily abused in North America but combined with the other interventions a brief crate stay would be good.

[hornblower]

More on dog bite prevention. Some great graphics there on dog body language & appropriate interactions between kids & dogs.

Any Dog Can Bite

[Pawz4me]

My reason for the couch & bed thing is that ime it's what many people fixate on but to me it's a symptom, not the underlying problem. 

 

Superivision, adequate exercise, loads of happy training & yup, I'd probably crate train in these circumstances (though generally I only use crates in the car or with a new dog staying here.)  I think crates are heavily abused in North America but combined with the other interventions a brief crate stay would be good.

 

I totally agree that the furniture is a symptom and not the problem.

 

But in this case -- a young child is a complicating factor, but a young child with ADHD is a really complicating factor -- then the wisest approach is to go ahead and treat the symptom while addressing the underlying problem.  I always believe in addressing safety issues first, and this is a big one.  A really big one.  My advice would be different it this were an adult only home.

[ondreeuh]

Thankfully she does enjoy her crate and automatically goes in there whenever I pick up my keys. She also takes treats in there to eat them. She used to sleep in there but was waking me up a couple of times a night to go potty so I tried letting her sleep on the bed and she did great. Now she insists on being up on the bed if I am in it, even if I'm reading during the day. She does not jump up, but whines/barks to be picked up and put on the bed. So in that sense, it will be easy to keep her off the bed since she won't get up on her own.

 

I will pick up a dog bed for her today and try to get her to use it instead of the couch. Any tips for getting to to switch over to that? We can put stuff on the couch to keep her off. We have tried multiple times to get her to lay on a soft folded blanket but she won't use it. I keep a blanket on my bed (so that I can move the blanket and get her to use that instead) but she just nudges the blanket aside with her nose and lays on my comforter.

[hornblower]

How familiar are you with classical & operant conditioning?

You get dogs (& people!)  to do things by making it worth their while. Reinforce what you want.

[ondreeuh]

I will buy more treats too. I am not a dog trainer, so what may seem obvious to someone who takes this very seriously is not necessarily obvious to me. We have never seriously trained a dog, though I am willing. We've had dogs for 14 years, but until now we have adopted older dogs who already had some training. While none have done great with tricks or even walking on a leash, they have always been fine playing in our big yard and sharing our house. Training beyond that is a huge commitment which is a big step for me.

 

It's like a master gardener giving me advice about my flowerbed - I don't have any experience taking it so seriously so it is a lot to absorb at once and not something I have a passion for. Unlike my boring flowerbed which I am content letting stay boring, I do want my dog to be happy and successful, so I am willing to put in the work. It's just a lot to take in at once.

[Spy Car]

Onedreeuh, Both Hornblower and Pawz have make excellent (if slightly contradictory on the surface) points, but I think from the synthesis you're drawing the right message.

 

Dogs should be engaged. Mental stimulation is vital. Working and training with ones human is important for a dog's mental and emotional health, 

and for dogs of the Sporting variety it is especially so. Training should be seen as a positive thing, not something that is punitive. it is about bond building, and teaching a dog what behaviors please you, while giving the dog your time and attention. 

 

I would be concerned (gravely concerned) about a dog growling at family members. This is a sign something is very wrong. Is it better the dog growls than bites? Yes. But neither condition is a good one. That you're willing to put in some work is a great sign. Do it. It will be worth it. 

 

A tired dog is a happy dog, and mental work is far more taxing that physical work for most dogs.

 

All the best,

 

Bill

 

 

[ScoutTN]

Any response from the original owner, Scout?

She is sad, because she loves this dog too. She can't take him back, for the very reasons she had to give him up in the first place (her circumstances entirely, nothing to do with the dog or his behavior) but she is working with us to find a new home for him. We have flyers up at both vets, both churches, she posted on Facebook and Craigslist (not usre I love that one, but it will get lots of readers) and both of us just asking around.

 

Are there other good ways to find new owners?

[ScoutTN]

Gently -- Many comments are being directed at the dog's behavior and finding a good next dog. But I would urge the OP to concentrate on her DS's behavior around dogs before even beginning to consider looking for another one. In the OP's first post she says her DS provoked the dog several times, and that her DH even said the DS would learn to behave if the dog nipped him. Which leads me to believe both the OP and her DH realize DS is not behaving appropriately around dogs. No dog should be expected to put up with a child intentionally provoking him. That's putting a dog in a totally unfair, no win situation Work with your DS. In addition to working with him on learning appropriate behavior around dogs, you may also need to wait for him to mature a bit more. And then think about finding a calm, bomb proof dog when you think your DS is capable of behaving around one and you and your DH are prepared to supervise the two of them 100 percent of the time for a good while.

Yes, we are working in this! Ds is impulsive and we are working on it in several areas of his life. I will say that Ds didn't do anything terrible. He did not hurt or hit the dog or yell at him or pull his tail or anything like that. Ds is almost 8, not 4. He just plays with more contact than this dog likes. When Ds was little we had an elderly lab (the one in my avatar photo) who let him hug her, cuddle with her, put dress up clothes on her etc. Ds learned to walk holding on to my sweet yellow lab!

 

This dog is just a different personality. Much more aloof and sensitive. Nicely mannered and loves to be petted and even have his tummy rubbed, but not a "Come play with me!" sort of dog. Also I think this dog is very focused on me, whereas my lab bonded with our whole family, even though she was 4 when Dh and I married and 7 and 9 when our kids were born. She was overjoyed to have more people to play with! That is a breed difference, I think. This dog is a sheepdog mix, perhaps part chow or something else fluffy.

 

We will certainly take our time looking for a new dog when we get to that. For now we are just working on finding a good home for this dog. One thing at a time.

[hornblower]

Are there other good ways to find new owners?

 

Find local rescues & ask if they'll courtesy post for you.

[hornblower]

Oh guys, guys. guys! - Dog as Second Language is open for registration tomorrow. At Fenzi Academy online learning.

"As bites from dogs escalate, so does the need to learn you read your dog and all dogs in general. Dogs communicate with their bodies, most of it is subtle. Much of it is misinterpreted by people. Starting June 1, you can learn how to learn dog as a second language in this online class. If you have kids or work with kids, this course is a MUST. If you work in dog daycare, as a vet or vet tech or groomer, you need to be able to see and understand the more subtle behaviors that the dog is using to communicate. This course covers the 5 major groupings of behaviors and highlights the difference between observation, interpretation and bias. Many video clips and photos clearly show the behaviors to look for. Once you learn to see, you cannot unsee them. Dogs are constantly 'talking'. Can you 'hear' them? Registration starts May 22."

http://www.fenzidogsportsacademy.com/index.php/courses/900
 

[Ausmumof3]

Oh man, you guys are really worrying me. We have a 10 month old lab mix (rescue puppy from a village) who we have had since she was 3 months old. I also have a 7 year old with severe ADHD who can be very hyper and inappropriate around the dog when he is unmedicated in the early morning/late night. Usually she enjoys frolicking with him and licking him while he crawls around on the floor with him.

 

She has become somewhat territorial of the couch, and has occasionally growled when we have tried to move her off the couch, especially if she has been sleeping. Yesterday she kept growling/snarling at ds when he walked near the couch even if he wasn't close to her. She also growls sometimes if one of the kids tries to move her by pulling on her collar. (I should add that she is really weird about being moved - she does NOT come when called - the only effective way of moving her is to clip a leash to her and then she "un-freezes" and happily goes with you. So when she wants to go outside, she will bark in the middle of the room and stay there until you get a leash and take her out the door.)

 

She has not snapped, just given a good warning. But I now I am worried. DS is unteachable when he is hyper (this is our reality, as much as it sucks) and I try to keep them separate at those times but both want to be in the living room. I have given him a million explanations of why he has to be gentle with her and not frighten her or make her feel threatened but when he is off meds he is not able to regulate his behavior. He really wasn't provoking her at all whens she growled yesterday. Then this morning he sat on the couch next to her and she went nuts licking his ears. She is usually not hostile towards him, just sometimes.

 

She also sleeps on my bed, and she goes to bed before I do. If I have to move her, she sometimes growls at me too. So now I pick up the blankets and kind of roll her to where I want her to go. :/

 

Is our situation that dire? Do I have to re-home her? What should I do when she growls at ds (especially when he has really done nothing wrong)? So far I have scolded her and put her outside, but maybe that makes it worse?

It sounds like she has the idea that she is currently the leader of the pack. You may need to do some work to remind her of her true status...

[hornblower]

It sounds like she has the idea that she is currently the leader of the pack. You may need to do some work to remind her of her true status...

 

pack & status are no longer seen as very useful constructs in evidence based training & behavior modification. American Veterinary Society of Animal Behavior put out this position statement in 2008.

[Jean in Newcastle]

I was just thinking back.  Rocky (our 12 year old English Springer Spaniel) went through a snappy phase back during his adolescence.  I responded by retraining the kids and upping supervision exponentially.  Just like I didn't totally know how my kids would turn out in personality and hobbies, I don't know how my dogs will turn out.  Somehow I'm having a very hard time understanding the view that dogs (or any pets) have to fit a preconceived role instead of me flexing to provide the best  home for them.  But I hope you find a good home for him.  

[Spy Car]

I was just thinking back.  Rocky (our 12 year old English Springer Spaniel) went through a snappy phase back during his adolescence.  I responded by retraining the kids and upping supervision exponentially.  Just like I didn't totally know how my kids would turn out in personality and hobbies, I don't know how my dogs will turn out.  Somehow I'm having a very hard time understanding the view that dogs (or any pets) have to fit a preconceived role instead of me flexing to provide the best  home for them.  But I hope you find a good home for him.  

 

 

Jean, I *read,*  "I was just thinking back.  Rocky (our 12 year old English Springer Spaniel) went through a snappy phase back during his adolescence.  I responded by restraining the kids and upping supervision exponentially," and I thought: There's a true dog lover for you :D

 

Bill