Bensmom Posted April 8, 2015 Share Posted April 8, 2015 What could be more wonderful then a picnic lunch in the backyard and a great homeschool read-aloud on a beautiful spring day? It was so perfect even the cat and dog were calm and quiet and seemed to be enjoying the story (The Witch of Blackbird Pond). Then from the budding treetops overhead, an unseen bird dropped a massive load of sh*t onto my neck. Startled by this unexpected wetness, I reached up and touch the filth thus spreading it to my hand. Story time came to an abrupt halt as I rushed inside to jump into the shower. In my haste, and with my thoughts only on this repulsiveness, I forgot to remove my bra. It was such an odd sensation that I stood there in the shower thinking, "something is not right here, but what?" Baby poo? No problem. Cat poo? I scoop that every day. Dog poo? Not my favorite, but yes, I scoop it and carry the "bag of shame" around the neighborhood on our walks. Bird poo? Apparently this renders me senseless. I am now feeling pretty apprehensive about venturing back outdoors. I have lived 38 years without this particular mishap occurring, but now I am pondering the likelihood of this happening again...soon. I need reassurance. Is there some sort of probability of this happening again within my lifetime? Like lightening striking twice kinda thing? 27 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest Posted April 8, 2015 Share Posted April 8, 2015 Good book, bad time. I'm so sorry you got bird bombed! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Pawz4me Posted April 8, 2015 Share Posted April 8, 2015 :grouphug: :grouphug: I will take this opportunity to confess that I don't like birds. At all. None of them. 7 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
zoobie Posted April 8, 2015 Share Posted April 8, 2015 Isn't it supposed to be good luck? That would freak me out too. I don't mind cat poo or dog poo in appropriate places, but I'm very glad they can't fly and poo on my head! (And yeah that to Pawz!) 3 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Ailaena Posted April 8, 2015 Share Posted April 8, 2015 :lol: :lol: Seriously, you just cracked me up, and I am so sorry about it. I think it's so gross because its wet :tongue_smilie: I have since read that being pooped on by a bird is sometimes considered good luck, and this guy actually worked out odds! 2 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
hornblower Posted April 8, 2015 Share Posted April 8, 2015 oh LOL - My parents' relationship was almost derailed during their courtship phase when a seagull pooped on my dad's head & my mom couldn't stop laughing. He was getting more and more irritated and angry & she was rolling around laughing and the more mad he got the more she laughed. Dd works with birds at a wildlife rescue and gets pooped on all the time because the birds perch on their heads when they're working in the big aviaries. Bird poop is weirdly gross, I agree.... 2 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
go_go_gadget Posted April 8, 2015 Share Posted April 8, 2015 :grouphug: :grouphug: I will take this opportunity to confess that I don't like birds. At all. None of them. I was attacked by a goose when I was three and by an ostrich when I was 12. I hate those ba5$#@*ds, too. Ahem. OP, I'm just glad you were home and could proceed directly into the shower! 4 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
oneddmanybooks Posted April 8, 2015 Share Posted April 8, 2015 Oh my goodness, how awful! Yes, that is completely different than the other things you mentioned. I think you are probably safe for a very long time now, but just in case, could you read at a deck table with an umbrella? 2 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Ethel Mertz Posted April 8, 2015 Share Posted April 8, 2015 You made my day! It's been 20 years since I got bird bombed. In my case, it was a gull who targeted my head. I was not at home. I figure you're safe at least for 20 years. 1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
SKL Posted April 8, 2015 Share Posted April 8, 2015 LOL! I stopped reading under trees after I got crapped on by a squirrel - back in 1992! 2 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
momto10blessings Posted April 8, 2015 Share Posted April 8, 2015 At least it didn't land on the book? 8 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
shawthorne44 Posted April 8, 2015 Share Posted April 8, 2015 I still remember the angst when I was a kid and my Grandmother was bird bombed on the way into the church. I could see myself doing that "Something is wrong here. " Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
medawyn Posted April 8, 2015 Share Posted April 8, 2015 In my elementary years, I had a good friend get pooped on by a bird on April Fool's Day. Of course, she didn't believe us until she went inside and her grandma confirmed it. The most unbelievable part was, as soon as she cleaned up and came back outside, it happened again! Now THAT'S bad luck. 3 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
El... Posted April 8, 2015 Share Posted April 8, 2015 Bwahahaha! That's awful! I'm so sorry that happened, and I would bet it will never happen again. A flying goose got my husband once. We were in the middle of a move across the country and had just gotten out of the loaded-down cars at the hotel, and SPLAT! What are the odds! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
solascriptura Posted April 8, 2015 Share Posted April 8, 2015 I was hit with bird poop when I was 5. I still haven't recovered from it and hate all birds to this day. I know, it's not really rational. 3 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
redsquirrel Posted April 8, 2015 Share Posted April 8, 2015 I am so sorry. It would be traumatizing. Once a bird pooped on me, but it was on the toe of my shoe. It was easily wiped off and no trauma. I know someone who held out her hand as a gesture while speaking...and bird poop landed in it. For some reason it still makes me laugh when I think about it. She does to so it is ok 1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
kewb Posted April 8, 2015 Share Posted April 8, 2015 It is good luck to have a bird poop on you. I don't know that I would have stopped to remove my bra either in my quest to clean off the bird poo. I held class outside once. Just once. It was our first year honeschooling. A beautiful day. Spread out the blanket in the backyard. Everyone is happy. All is rainbows and unicorns. When suddenly a bee lands on my daughter's shoe. The shoe she was not wearing and was inches away from her. A shriek of "there is a bee on my shoe!" Pointing and more shrieking. The bee flies away. Still shrieking. Everyone goes inside, class dismissed. I never tried to hold class outside again. 3 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Cinder Posted April 8, 2015 Share Posted April 8, 2015 Dh got hit on our wedding day. We got married outdoors under a large tree. That was 28 years ago so maybe that good luck thing is true. :p 8 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest SaraJean Posted April 8, 2015 Share Posted April 8, 2015 Just other day I was walking in the yard, minding my own business, when a bird did his business on my arm. My kids laughed so hard they hurt themselves. I was so offended. Teach me to feed the birds in the yard anymore! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Doodlebug Posted April 8, 2015 Share Posted April 8, 2015 LOL. Well. You made me laugh so hard the tears were blocking the rest of your post! Thank you for sharing. ;) Here's hoping there's less blackbird in your next read aloud attempt. :D 4 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
alisoncooks Posted April 8, 2015 Share Posted April 8, 2015 When I was in high school, I mowed yards for pocket change. Once, while I was mowing, a bird dropped a bomb right on the very tip-top of my head. Yuck. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Jean in Newcastle Posted April 8, 2015 Share Posted April 8, 2015 You were multi-tasking. Cross "wash bra" off of your list! 12 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
JessReplanted Posted April 8, 2015 Share Posted April 8, 2015 Ugh. Sorry. Those things never work out for me. One time I actually took our school work to the park. Ha ha ha. :lol: Never again. If we go outside, we just try to have fun. 1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
JoJosMom Posted April 8, 2015 Share Posted April 8, 2015 :lol: When I was a child, I went through a period where I got pooped on by a seagull EVERY time we went to the beach. And we lived in coastal Florida at the time, so it happened a LOT. That was beaten a couple of summers ago. DD and I were speaking to a neighbor. She rubbed her arm and, when I looked at it, it looked like a spot of blood. We couldn't figure it out until I felt something hit MY arm. More blood. Finally, I think to look up. We were standing beneath a huge pine tree. An osprey was perched on a limb high above us disemboweling a fish. Super gross and super cool, all at the same time. 6 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Mothersweets Posted April 9, 2015 Share Posted April 9, 2015 You were multi-tasking. Cross "wash bra" off of your list! :lol: :lol: :lol: Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Anne in CA Posted April 9, 2015 Share Posted April 9, 2015 I was pooped on by a bird when I was 23 and it has not happened again in the next 21 years, so I think you are fine. FWIW, it happened to me when I was running late for work and it pooped on my only clean white shirt. GGGRRR. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Kerileanne99 Posted April 9, 2015 Share Posted April 9, 2015 When I was a kid my mother always told me not to pout-that if I did a bird would poop on my lip. When I was 8 yo I was visiting an aunt on her farm. She had a huge old barn, and my cousin and I loved to play in it. We had found a dead baby bird and were watching the barn swallows fly around way up high in the rafters...I SWEAR one of them was flying 50 feet away in a straight line in front of me when it suddenly, evily, with malice afore thought, changed course and b-lined for me. It dropped its putrid bomb right onto my lip, open mouth and all down my shirt before returning to fly merrily on its original course. I, of course, have to take the word of my cousin on this as I had melted into a hysterical sobbing ball of nonsense😩 To this day, barn swallows make me shudder. My dd5 loves to show me pictures of them when she encounters them...and occasionally Googles them for a laugh at mom's expense😠4 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Amy in NH Posted April 9, 2015 Share Posted April 9, 2015 Birdy birdy in the sky, please don't turdy in my eye. I'm a big girl, I won't cry. I'm just glad that cows don't fly! 7 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
LMD Posted April 9, 2015 Share Posted April 9, 2015 Birdy birdy in the sky, please don't turdy in my eye. I'm a big girl, I won't cry. I'm just glad that cows don't fly! I'm so putting that in the memory work binder! 😄 2 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Ethel Mertz Posted April 9, 2015 Share Posted April 9, 2015 And here's another memory verse, albeit a bit shorter than the above: Little birdy in the tree Let not your droppings drop on me. 4 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
BigMamaBird Posted April 9, 2015 Share Posted April 9, 2015 Saw #6 and thought of this thread!! The rest are pretty funny too. http://www.buzzfeed.com/dray/15-disconcerting-signs-from-zoos-4666#.ry3w6qgN7 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
livetoread Posted April 10, 2015 Share Posted April 10, 2015 We were planning a trip to a touristy city that had the requisite square with pigeons. I read the following advice in several guide books: If a pigeon poops on you, just let it dry and then it will brush off easily. Huh?? Who is going to calmly sit there letting bird s#%* dry on them until such time as they can flake it off? Not me. Ick and ew. 3 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Melissa in Australia Posted April 10, 2015 Share Posted April 10, 2015 :lol: Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Miss Tick Posted April 10, 2015 Share Posted April 10, 2015 We were planning a trip to a touristy city that had the requisite square with pigeons. I read the following advice in several guide books: If a pigeon poops on you, just let it dry and then it will brush off easily. Huh?? Who is going to calmly sit there letting bird s#%* dry on them until such time as they can flake it off? Not me. Ick and ew.I can just imagine the exchange with the waiter at the cafe a short time later."What? Oh, I know, I'm just waiting for it to dry. You know, so I can flake it off." <gaaak> In the back the waiters are all talking about crazy tourists. 1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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