DragonFaerie Posted March 31, 2015 Share Posted March 31, 2015 I was looking at the other thread about friends, and I started to wonder if I am just really not normal. I don't really have friends. I mean, I have a couple of people that I talk to from time to time or that I text with, but that's enough for me. I don't like having to talk on the phone or meet for lunch or really any of the things that it takes to cultivate friendships. And really, I am perfectly fine with that. I don't feel lonely. I have my children, and I have the Hive and Facebook. I'm content to fill my days by surfing the 'net, reading, watching TV (when we're not doing school and I'm not working, of course). I am not agorophobic. I'm not afraid to leave my house. I go shopping and take my kids to their activities, and I work outside the home a little bit. But I'd much rather be at home. My mom cannot understand this and is forever pushing me to do this or that or join this group or that group, and I don't want to. I LIKE being at home. Is this totally weird? Are there others out there like me? Please don't tell me to go do something. I'm happy. I just want to know if others feel this way, too. 38 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Slache Posted March 31, 2015 Share Posted March 31, 2015 You're not weird. I do understand where your mom's coming from, but she just doesn't understand. I find joy in going out with my friends and I want you to experience that same joy. The fact that you get that joy by hanging out at home does not make sense to some people. 4 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
fairfarmhand Posted March 31, 2015 Share Posted March 31, 2015 Nope. You're not alone. I like being at home. And if my dh can take the kids outside, it is DIVINE to be at home alone. My family went to church without me sunday because I've had a cold this week, and it was very very nice. Even if I was sick, 9 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Openhearted Posted March 31, 2015 Share Posted March 31, 2015 You are not alone.. I feel this way too. I have no friends, and I don't really want any. I love being at home. It is my most favorite place to be. Of course my children are all at home still so I am perfectly content here. If you are happy, that is what matters. 6 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Tammi K Posted March 31, 2015 Share Posted March 31, 2015 I was looking at the other thread about friends, and I started to wonder if I am just really not normal. I don't really have friends. I mean, I have a couple of people that I talk to from time to time or that I text with, but that's enough for me. I don't like having to talk on the phone or meet for lunch or really any of the things that it takes to cultivate friendships. And really, I am perfectly fine with that. I don't feel lonely. I have my children, and I have the Hive and Facebook. I'm content to fill my days by surfing the 'net, reading, watching TV (when we're not doing school and I'm not working, of course). I am not agorophobic. I'm not afraid to leave my house. I go shopping and take my kids to their activities, and I work outside the home a little bit. But I'd much rather be at home. My mom cannot understand this and is forever pushing me to do this or that or join this group or that group, and I don't want to. I LIKE being at home. Is this totally weird? Are there others out there like me? Please don't tell me to go do something. I'm happy. I just want to know if others feel this way, too. I could have written everything exactly as you did! If you're happy with your life, you are doing fine. 7 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
marbel Posted March 31, 2015 Share Posted March 31, 2015 You're not weird at all. I wish I could be home more than I am. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
DragonFaerie Posted March 31, 2015 Author Share Posted March 31, 2015 I'm pretty much the same way. I like to go to the movies and mall alone as well. Dh is the same way so he and the kids are at home all the time. Sometimes I want to be out and alone. KWIM? It makes me feel good to be out, walking and around people, but not involved. It's another way for me to recharge my batteries. Recharge my batteries. This is it exactly. Whenever I have to be out around people, especially when I have to be "on," it's exhausting. Even doing school with the kids drains me sometimes. I love being able to stay home, even if I'm having to work or do my school stuff. It's just so much more comfortable for me. I'm glad to know I'm not alone in this (strangely; LOL). 9 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
PuddleJumper1 Posted March 31, 2015 Share Posted March 31, 2015 Nope - not alone :) I was just thinking about this the other day. I could have written your post almost word for word and I'm quite content with how things are. Good to see others feel the same way. 3 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
SparklyUnicorn Posted March 31, 2015 Share Posted March 31, 2015 I've had friends on and off. Thing is I don't use the term lightly. Some people call anyone they talk to more than once a friend. I don't. So at the moment, I don't have anyone in my category of friend. Well unless you count on-line. I do have some on-line people I talk to just about every single day so... This does not bother me. At this point I don't want to devote time to nurturing a friendship if I'm being honest. And I'm an extrovert magnet. Extroverts are drawn to me. I really do not know why, but if I look back at every good friend I've ever had they all were extreme extroverts. I'd love to find someone less extroverted, but I do GET why that's not so easy. I consider my husband a good friend too. He likes doing a lot of the same things I enjoy doing. 8 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
emcap Posted March 31, 2015 Share Posted March 31, 2015 So nice to read this, I feel so alone in this so often. We have one family we meet up with every couple weeks for the kids to play, I have my mom, sister, and sister in law, and I'm happy! I don't feel the need for any more, I just feel like I should want more. I like being alone and doing things alone with my kids and husband. This thread was a comfort for me today. 5 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
DragonFaerie Posted March 31, 2015 Author Share Posted March 31, 2015 So nice to read this, I feel so alone in this so often. We have one family we meet up with every couple weeks for the kids to play, I have my mom, sister, and sister in law, and I'm happy! I don't feel the need for any more, I just feel like I should want more. I like being alone and doing things alone with my kids and husband. This thread was a comfort for me today. I'm glad you're comforted. Online friends are the best! ;-) 1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
SparklyUnicorn Posted March 31, 2015 Share Posted March 31, 2015 So nice to read this, I feel so alone in this so often. We have one family we meet up with every couple weeks for the kids to play, I have my mom, sister, and sister in law, and I'm happy! I don't feel the need for any more, I just feel like I should want more. I like being alone and doing things alone with my kids and husband. This thread was a comfort for me today. Yeah, I often wonder if I'm just odd. I just cannot be bothered working so hard for it at this point in my life. And hello, I'm with people every day all day long. My family is comprised of people. So I think that counts. And I happen to like them a lot more than most other people. So, even better. 8 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
DragonFaerie Posted March 31, 2015 Author Share Posted March 31, 2015 Yeah, I often wonder if I'm just odd. I just cannot be bothered working so hard for it at this point in my life. And hello, I'm with people every day all day long. My family is comprised of people. So I think that counts. And I happen to like them a lot more than most other people. So, even better. This is what I think, too. I'm with my kids all day every day. I'm plenty busy with homeschooling and grad school and various work things. I just can't understand why people would not think that's enough. I'm glad y'all do agree with me. I put JAWM thinking this thread might be a ghost town. 2 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Heatherwith4 Posted March 31, 2015 Share Posted March 31, 2015 I'm pretty much the same way. That's not to say I don't ever hang out with people, but it's a pretty rare thing for me. And I'm good with that, 1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Wildcat Posted March 31, 2015 Share Posted March 31, 2015 I was looking at the other thread about friends, and I started to wonder if I am just really not normal. I don't really have friends. I mean, I have a couple of people that I talk to from time to time or that I text with, but that's enough for me. I don't like having to talk on the phone or meet for lunch or really any of the things that it takes to cultivate friendships. And really, I am perfectly fine with that. I don't feel lonely. I have my children, and I have the Hive and Facebook. I'm content to fill my days by surfing the 'net, reading, watching TV (when we're not doing school and I'm not working, of course). I am not agorophobic. I'm not afraid to leave my house. I go shopping and take my kids to their activities, and I work outside the home a little bit. But I'd much rather be at home. My mom cannot understand this and is forever pushing me to do this or that or join this group or that group, and I don't want to. I LIKE being at home. Is this totally weird? Are there others out there like me? Please don't tell me to go do something. I'm happy. I just want to know if others feel this way, too. Who decides what is normal? If you are happy, then it is YOUR normal. FWIW, I could have written your exact post except for the part about your mom --- my mom is exactly the same way I am. Sometimes, I don't leave the house or yard for days on end. It doesn't bother me in the least. I am a very happy person. Recharge my batteries. This is it exactly. Whenever I have to be out around people, especially when I have to be "on," it's exhausting. Even doing school with the kids drains me sometimes. I love being able to stay home, even if I'm having to work or do my school stuff. It's just so much more comfortable for me. I'm glad to know I'm not alone in this (strangely; LOL). I have lunch every so 6 or 7 weeks with a friend and that is plenty of socializing for me until the next lunch! We know each other pretty well but honestly have nothing in common other than homeschooling. We chat about our kids, books, etc, but that's about it. I think she is also content to not get out too often. :tongue_smilie: And I'm an extrovert magnet. Extroverts are drawn to me. Holy cow, you too!? Whenever I find myself at some gathering, it seems the most extroverted, talkative people in the room seek me out and flock to me! It is utterly exhausting!! Yeah, I often wonder if I'm just odd. I just cannot be bothered working so hard for it at this point in my life. And hello, I'm with people every day all day long. My family is comprised of people. So I think that counts. And I happen to like them a lot more than most other people. So, even better. Not odd at all. Friendships ARE hard. They are like gardens in that they need tending to. I have a black thumb, so.... :o Also, I find that I tend to like people more the less I know about them. 5 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
horsellian Posted March 31, 2015 Share Posted March 31, 2015 It's nice to know there are so many of us! I have plenty of acquaintances who I see (at places we go) on a semi-regular basis, but no-one I'd call a friend who I see regularly IRL. 2 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Petrichor Posted March 31, 2015 Share Posted March 31, 2015 I sometimes think I might like to have the kind of friends who one sees constantly, but like those who posted before me, it would take so much out of me. It was brought to my attention that I probably see each of my friends (other than in passing) much fewer than 10 times a year. And it sounds sad, but I'm not sad. I know people who go to dinner parties (2-3 times) every weekend and like to go out with the same friend 4 times/week. That would drive me insane. 5 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
hornblower Posted March 31, 2015 Share Posted March 31, 2015 If I'm honest, I prefer spending time with my dogs to spending time with most people..... 8 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
hornblower Posted March 31, 2015 Share Posted March 31, 2015 http://www.lookhuman.com/render/product/0200/0200872000120600/2001whi-w800h800z1-57572-introverts-unite-were-here-were-uncomfortable-and-we-want-to-go-home.jpg 6 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
foxbridgeacademy Posted March 31, 2015 Share Posted March 31, 2015 Sounds like me. I have no friends that I'm not related to. Luckily, I have a great mom and sister who are just like me (my other sister is a social butterfly but still great friend). I find trying to maintain friendships with others to be difficult, usually through no fault of the other person. I get along with almost everyone and no one would ever call me an introvert (I talk a lot, to strangers even :blushing: ) but I like a lot of alone time, I could easily live on a well supplied island with my husband and kids and go without other interaction for months and be happy. 4 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
DragonFaerie Posted March 31, 2015 Author Share Posted March 31, 2015 If I'm honest, I prefer spending time with my dogs to spending time with most people..... I always say I just don't like people overmuch. JK....sort of.... http://www.lookhuman.com/render/product/0200/0200872000120600/2001whi-w800h800z1-57572-introverts-unite-were-here-were-uncomfortable-and-we-want-to-go-home.jpg I love this! 1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Ali in OR Posted March 31, 2015 Share Posted March 31, 2015 Isn't this all pretty normal for introverts? I have friends and many acquaintances but I don't have much ability or tolerance for chit chat. I enjoy getting together with people for book club or a game night or a church social function--things that have some structure and purpose--but I don't really have an interest in "doing lunch" or talking on the phone. If someone wanted to share their problems and griefs with me I would be very much in problem-solving mode and would have difficulty just being a listening ear for them. Let's just fix it and move on! Not too sure that approach would be appreciated. I tell my girls (also introverts) that extroverts make great friends--they'll do all of the talking and keep the conversation rolling. 3 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Gentlemommy Posted March 31, 2015 Share Posted March 31, 2015 OP, you describe me to a T. I don't have many friends. A couple that I talk to occasionally from out of state, one I text with daily, and a couple real life friends. 'Girls night out' or weekends away with girl friends does not sound appealing. Dinner with friends is good, but I'm fine doing that a couple times a year...or not at all. If I have time that I'm not responsible for the kids, I really want to be on my own. 😳 I'm not antisocial or weird (well, a little I am lol) and I can socialize just fine with all kinds of people. I just really like to be on my own, doing whatever I like, reading, enjoying the quiet. I love going to dinner with dh though, even though it's a rare treat. I am perfectly content being home most of the time. 3 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Maela Posted March 31, 2015 Share Posted March 31, 2015 I am very similar. Dh and I have some friends from high school that we hang out with a few times a month. I really enjoy it, but I don't like one-on-one stuff as much. It's very hard for me to just chat with one person for more than a few minutes, especially women. I get nervous and have a hard time finding things to say. I enjoy days where the kids and I stay home all day, working/playing in the back yard, reading, playing games, even doing house work. I don't have the same need to have long talks with my girl friends that it seems like everyone else does. It makes me feel mean, but I can't help it. I do like hanging out in groups, especially of mixed gender. But not more than once a week. And seeing the same people/person several times a week drives me crazy. ETA: Texting has been great for me! I can answer when I feel ready, and it doesn't drain me like face-to-face time does. 2 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
DragonFaerie Posted March 31, 2015 Author Share Posted March 31, 2015 Isn't this all pretty normal for introverts? I have friends and many acquaintances but I don't have much ability or tolerance for chit chat. I enjoy getting together with people for book club or a game night or a church social function--things that have some structure and purpose--but I don't really have an interest in "doing lunch" or talking on the phone. If someone wanted to share their problems and griefs with me I would be very much in problem-solving mode and would have difficulty just being a listening ear for them. Let's just fix it and move on! Not too sure that approach would be appreciated. I tell my girls (also introverts) that extroverts make great friends--they'll do all of the talking and keep the conversation rolling. Is it normal for introverts? I don't even like to do things you have listed here like book clubs and the like. I don't want to do any of that stuff. Ever. I am very similar. Dh and I have some friends from high school that we hang out with a few times a month. I really enjoy it, but I don't like one-on-one stuff as much. It's very hard for me to just chat with one person for more than a few minutes, especially women. I get nervous and have a hard time finding things to say. I enjoy days where the kids and I stay home all day, working/playing in the back yard, reading, playing games, even doing house work. I don't have the same need to have long talks with my girl friends that it seems like everyone else does. It makes me feel mean, but I can't help it. I do like hanging out in groups, especially of mixed gender. But not more than once a week. And seeing the same people/person several times a week drives me crazy. ETA: Texting has been great for me! I can answer when I feel ready, and it doesn't drain me like face-to-face time does. I LOVE texting for exactly the reasons that you mention. In fact, I have one great friend that I have never met and never even spoken with on the phone. But we text nearly every day, and that is perfect for me. 2 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Critterfixer Posted March 31, 2015 Share Posted March 31, 2015 Facebook and television are too many people for me! :laugh: I like the Hive, but at times I have to take a break from the forum as well. Reading can be too much--too many thoughts that belong to someone else that need my internal response. But at least I don't have to answer them right away. So no, you are not alone. But if you want to be, you'll get no arguments from me! I like being my little lone self. 2 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
fairfarmhand Posted March 31, 2015 Share Posted March 31, 2015 My extroverted dd goes "You hate people." and I go, "I have FOUR children. I am around people ALL the FREAKING time. I don't hate them. I just like space, of which, right now, with all my kids at home (3 of whom are extroverts who can't have a thought without expressing it to me.) i have very little." 6 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
ILiveInFlipFlops Posted March 31, 2015 Share Posted March 31, 2015 I'm like you as well. I do have a few good friends, one of whom I consider to be my "sister," but we don't see each other more often than once a month, if that. I'm out and about with the kids more than I like, but that's for them, not for me. I'm completely happy to be at home the vast majority of my time, gardening, cleaning, reading, self-educating, just puttering around. Yes, I do think it's a normal introvert thing, albeit maybe closer to the extreme end. Hermit-hood sounds A-OK to me! I think most people really don't understand the way introverts' minds work. On the flip side, though, I've felt bombarded by invites and field trip offerings and co-op event plans and so on, and I've found myself feeling crazed and wondering how these people can function if they're never home except to sleep. I've literally wondered if they just hate being home! So to a certain extent, I can't truly understand how extroverts function either :lol: 6 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
HRAAB Posted March 31, 2015 Share Posted March 31, 2015 You're not alone or weird. I like the definition another poster gave: independent and self reliant. I don't mind occasionally getting together with other people, but afterwards I need a long detox time. I've got my kids, my older two girls have become very good friends, and my dh, my best friend. I like being home; leaving can be stressful. I'm very happy and content. 2 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
lllll Posted March 31, 2015 Share Posted March 31, 2015 .. 1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
DragonFaerie Posted March 31, 2015 Author Share Posted March 31, 2015 Y'all are making me feel so much better about my random people aversion. I think hermit-hood would be excellent, too, NowWeAreFour. Can I get a luxury, temperature-controlled cave in the middle of the woods with full high-speed internet access, please? 5 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
kewb Posted March 31, 2015 Share Posted March 31, 2015 That is me. I realized recently that I could easily be a recluse. Everything I need can be delivered to my door. I do have a couple of close friends. One who feels the need to call or text daily. I find it kind of irritating. We just spoke yesterday. What is there to say today? However, I do realize she is keeping us connected and it is great that one of us is making the effort. Long story longer, you are who you are. Nothing weird here. 2 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
alisoncooks Posted March 31, 2015 Share Posted March 31, 2015 So nice to read this, I feel so alone in this so often. We have one family we meet up with every couple weeks for the kids to play, I have my mom, sister, and sister in law, and I'm happy! I don't feel the need for any more, I just feel like I should want more. I like being alone and doing things alone with my kids and husband. This thread was a comfort for me today. This is how we are. We have one family that we get together with occasionally. I'd consider the mother my friend, but we don't talk on the phone or text or anything. We talk at church and on play dates. 1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
ILiveInFlipFlops Posted March 31, 2015 Share Posted March 31, 2015 Y'all are making me feel so much better about my random people aversion. I think hermit-hood would be excellent, too, NowWeAreFour. Can I get a luxury, temperature-controlled cave in the middle of the woods with full high-speed internet access, please? If only! If we're being completely honest, DH and I have been watching The Last Man on Earth these last few weeks, and I've been thinking about how heavenly it sounds :lol: I mean, rationally, I know it would be terrible to be without healthcare and dentistry and the Internet, but in my head, it would be just what I need--at least for a few weeks! 4 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Lolly Posted March 31, 2015 Share Posted March 31, 2015 When my kids were little, I needed time with friends. Now, I realize that was actually a need to be away from little people. I'm good with me right now. Even my dog is too much company sometimes. Dh is considering retiring soon. I like my time with him. But...all the time? That could be interesting...Fortunately, he does have some other interests. 1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
DragonFaerie Posted March 31, 2015 Author Share Posted March 31, 2015 When my kids were little, I needed time with friends. Now, I realize that was actually a need to be away from little people. I'm good with me right now. Even my dog is too much company sometimes. Dh is considering retiring soon. I like my time with him. But...all the time? That could be interesting...Fortunately, he does have some other interests. I've heard a lot of women have....issues... when their husbands retire because now they're around and under foot all day long. LOL... 2 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
texasmama Posted March 31, 2015 Share Posted March 31, 2015 I am an extrovert. I have many friends. I hate to go out. It gets on my nerves to fix my hair and put on jeans and become presentable. I am all down with staying at home most of the time. The older I get, the more true that is. Also, I spend all day with three kids and (much of the time) a work at home dh. So I am not lonely. No, I am most certainly not. In fact, they all just went to the store, and I am so relieved to be alone with my own thoughts and you imaginary people. And I didn't even have to get myself all fixed up. :D 3 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
HRAAB Posted March 31, 2015 Share Posted March 31, 2015 My dh has had a couple of extended periods of unemployment in the last 8 years. I really enjoyed having him home all the time and look forward to when he is able to retire. One reason I think is because we are both independent and don't expect each other to fill our time. He does his thing, usually outside - I don't think he's ever been bored or not known how to occupy himself - and I do my thing. We have breakfast and lunch together, meet up in the afternoon for a break, and then spend some time together in the evening. If he weren't so independent and underfoot all the time, I'm not so sure out would work so well. But as it is, I miss having him home, but I missed his paycheck even more. 2 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
MEmama Posted March 31, 2015 Share Posted March 31, 2015 It took me until 42 to realize I'm an introvert. All my life I've thought I was an extrovert who was just really bad at it. Coming to this understanding has been one of the greatest revelations of my personal life; all of a sudden I felt much clearer to myself. Does that even make sense? Such a relief to know it's fine. :) 3 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
ILiveInFlipFlops Posted March 31, 2015 Share Posted March 31, 2015 Here's a t-shirt for all of us that a family member recently posted to FB: http://www.lookhuman.com/design/57572-introverts-unite-were-here-were-uncomfortable-and-we-want-to-go-home?special=TAKEITOFF&gclid=Cj0KEQjwi-moBRDL4Omf9d_LndMBEiQAQtFf85P9O9DEIuQ75u2r_o-_CoCH0NzgxTZBdFsD3efM8RAaAmKD8P8HAQ And another: http://www.lookhuman.com/design/57571-introverts-unite?special=TAKEITOFF&gclid=Cj0KEQjwi-moBRDL4Omf9d_LndMBEiQAQtFf82DxjtRpvKtDz_Rk-dqMJMfM6jfQnG02tPM7Lil_6xEaAoGk8P8HAQ I'd never seen the second one before :lol: 3 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Garga Posted March 31, 2015 Share Posted March 31, 2015 I have lots of "friends." These are people that I see in groups and go to parties with, like someone will throw a 4th of July party or a Christmas Cookie Exchange party and we all show up. But I don't have a single real friend. I don't call anyone on the phone. I don't have anyone that I sit with and just laugh and laugh with or bare my soul to. I have only recently discovered this. I used to think, "Oh, I have friends," but then I hear about people who have friends they can call on the phone and go to movies with laugh with and cry with and I realized I don't have that. I wish I had that. I have no clue how to go about getting that. I remember being a child and having friends that I just adored. We spent every second together that we could. We loved each other. I've been wondering whether that's only something that happens in childhood? I do enjoy my alone time, though. Ever since the discovery that I don't have true friends, but merely large groups of people that I hang out with, I've sort of given up looking for a close friend and have been turning more inward. It's kind of nice to turn inward from time to time, I'm thinking. It's kind of peaceful. 2 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest Posted March 31, 2015 Share Posted March 31, 2015 I have one of those mothers. I caught myself starting to become one of those mothers last year and nipped that in the bud. ds2 is my one and only introverted child. ds1 is an extreme extrovert. Now that we accept and respect that about each other, we get along much, much better. Throw ds1's cat (who I don't have to own) into the mix and a visit to the Hive on my own terms (see self-chosen user title) and I'm good. 1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
foxbridgeacademy Posted March 31, 2015 Share Posted March 31, 2015 If only! If we're being completely honest, DH and I have been watching The Last Man on Earth these last few weeks, and I've been thinking about how heavenly it sounds :lol: I mean, rationally, I know it would be terrible to be without healthcare and dentistry and the Internet, but in my head, it would be just what I need--at least for a few weeks! I watched the first couple episodes of that and had a dream where over 90% of people died and we had to survive in the aftermath..... I stopped watching, I don't need post apocalyptic dreams, they're too much work (seriously I dreamed about where to get clean water, and how to get a cow to follow me). 1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Ausmumof3 Posted March 31, 2015 Share Posted March 31, 2015 I would like some deeper friendships but I really struggle to find the time to build and maintain them. If I do stuff with other people in the day we don't get school done. And I basically get as much socialisation as I can handle with our usual activities not adding anything. 2 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
texasmama Posted March 31, 2015 Share Posted March 31, 2015 I have lots of "friends." These are people that I see in groups and go to parties with, like someone will throw a 4th of July party or a Christmas Cookie Exchange party and we all show up. But I don't have a single real friend. I don't call anyone on the phone. I don't have anyone that I sit with and just laugh and laugh with or bare my soul to. I have only recently discovered this. I used to think, "Oh, I have friends," but then I hear about people who have friends they can call on the phone and go to movies with laugh with and cry with and I realized I don't have that. I wish I had that. I have no clue how to go about getting that. I remember being a child and having friends that I just adored. We spent every second together that we could. We loved each other. I've been wondering whether that's only something that happens in childhood? I do enjoy my alone time, though. Ever since the discovery that I don't have true friends, but merely large groups of people that I hang out with, I've sort of given up looking for a close friend and have been turning more inward. It's kind of nice to turn inward from time to time, I'm thinking. It's kind of peaceful. I will be your friend. Quick, pm me and bare your soul. You can laugh or cry, your choice. :) Seriously, I do think that everyone should have at least one person with whom she COULD bare her soul. Not that you do so frequently but you could if you need to. Because sometimes you need to. 3 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest Posted March 31, 2015 Share Posted March 31, 2015 I have lots of "friends." These are people that I see in groups and go to parties with, like someone will throw a 4th of July party or a Christmas Cookie Exchange party and we all show up. But I don't have a single real friend. I don't call anyone on the phone. I don't have anyone that I sit with and just laugh and laugh with or bare my soul to. I have only recently discovered this. I used to think, "Oh, I have friends," but then I hear about people who have friends they can call on the phone and go to movies with laugh with and cry with and I realized I don't have that. I wish I had that. I have no clue how to go about getting that. I remember being a child and having friends that I just adored. We spent every second together that we could. We loved each other. I've been wondering whether that's only something that happens in childhood? I do enjoy my alone time, though. Ever since the discovery that I don't have true friends, but merely large groups of people that I hang out with, I've sort of given up looking for a close friend and have been turning more inward. It's kind of nice to turn inward from time to time, I'm thinking. It's kind of peaceful. Garga, I would be that friend if you wanted. Except for the phone part; I really hate talking on the phone. But for realz, I would be happy to meet up with you on a regular basis and just talk while the kids play. You're one cool chick. B.) 4 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
hornblower Posted March 31, 2015 Share Posted March 31, 2015 I think my difficulty is that I used to have friends like that & then there were ugly breakups & weirdness & now I just don't really let myself get that close to many people. 7 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest Posted April 1, 2015 Share Posted April 1, 2015 I think my difficulty is that I used to have friends like that & then there were ugly breakups & weirdness & now I just don't really let myself get that close to many people. Same. I was just thinking about this very subject recently. I concluded that having best buddies isn't very important to me at this phase. Dh is my best buddy in the sense that I will tell him most anything and he knows more of my "realness" than anybody else (probably to his chagrin sometimes). My children are my buddies in much of the activities or cultural events I might enjoy; TBH, there isn't anyone else I would rather go the New York with to see a Broadway show than DD. Movies, music, books, tv shows - I see/do/discuss them with my children. My best friends in adulthood have moved to other states, so, while we are still friends in the sense of liking one another, we don't do things together often enough to connect much anymore. I do miss that, but I also feel like It's not a big priority for me just now. 6 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
clementine Posted April 1, 2015 Share Posted April 1, 2015 This thread has made my month - I find myself in good company. Thank you for being open & honest about this subject. I am not alone. :grouphug: 4 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
texasmama Posted April 1, 2015 Share Posted April 1, 2015 Garga, I would be that friend if you wanted. Except for the phone part; I really hate talking on the phone. But for realz, I would be happy to meet up with you on a regular basis and just talk while the kids play. You're one cool chick. B.) I can tell she is cool from here, and I never even met her. 3 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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