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Is there more I could have done?


Truscifi
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I'm so upset. I was on the way home from the library with the boys and saw a minivan pulled over on the side of the road. A woman got out of the passenger and ran away from the van, then a man got out of the driver side, chased her, carried her back to the van with her struggling the whole way, and pushed her into the van. I had pulled up behind them to see if they needed help. When I saw what was happening I locked the door, started honking the horn, and called 911. The man stood there yelling at the woman for a minute, then turned and started walking toward my car, yelling for me to mind my own f-ing business. I guess he saw that I was already on the phone, because he turned around and got in the van and drove off. I was able to give the 911 operator the color and make of the car and descriptions of the people, but I didn't get the license plate unfortunately. 

 

I wish I had thought to take a pic of the van and the people before I started dialing, but I didn't. I'm trying to think if there is anything else I could or should have done in case something like this ever happens again.

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:grouphug:  :grouphug:  :grouphug:

 

Taking a picture of the van would have been great but you did what you could in a very tense, unpredictable situation.  It sounds like things happened very quickly and you had your kids to think of.  You tried to help, and hopefully did.  That is more than a lot of people would do.

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Oh my god! You did the right thing and no, I don't think there's a lot more you could have done. In hindsight, taking a picture of the van would be smart but I for one keep forgetting I have a camera on my phone. :( Like, even when I have a long time to think about it. I am so sorry you went through that. I'm thinking of that couple. What a nut!

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There is no use beating yourself over what more you could have done. You did the very best you could for such an awful situation - and so much more than anybody else did. Nobody, put in such a situation, can think of everything - I would have been so scattered, and anyone would be plagued with "what more they could have done".

 

You did a wonderful thing, trying to help. Bless you!

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YOU DID GREAT!!  I feel like I want to thank you for doing what you did!!  I'm think it could have potentially been dangerous for you to do much else.  I'm sure you tried getting the license plate, but you did the next best thing in a situation like that.

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Hopefully the deputies did find them, but just didn't need anything from me. 

 

I talked to Brotherman a little about it, about trying to help but doing so in a safe way, about not ignoring it because that is almost the same as condoning it. I think he understood, but he didn't say much. He tends to take a while to ponder things. Dh says I should leave it alone, but I wish he would talk to me about it. He just doesn't process things out loud the way I do.

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You CALLED.  That's what counts.  It's better to forget to take a picture and make the call quickly, than to be so busy taking pictures that you forget to (or end up being prevented from) making the call to 911.

 

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I said a prayer for that lady.  It doesn't sound like she's in a good situation...  Glad you were there and tried to help.  At the VERY least, perhaps that brute will think twice about what he's doing and perhaps the lady will realize that what she is enduring is not normal nor accepted behavior.  Perhaps not too (sigh).  Like others, I hope the police were able to find them, but even then, it's not pretty.  Many battered women won't press charges.

 

I'll stop rambling.  I think you did a great job under the circumstances and I can understand your feelings now (even if your hubby doesn't).  

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Just chiming in to say you did right.   Calling 911 first was the right thing to do, without a doubt.   Taking time to snap photos first would have delayed the call which would have delayed police action. 

 

It is hard to think of what to do in situations like this, particularly when our kids are with us and we have to protect them.   I don't know anyone who doesn't come out of a situation like that with some doubts about their performance under pressure.  I hope you are able to let it go.   :grouphug:  

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Everyone, please let's stop with the "next time" thinking.  For one, the priority is to get/stay safe FIRST, call 911 SECOND, consider any other action third.  Nice as a photo or good look at the license plate may be, it would not have helped for her to get those if it cost her the chance to get/stay safe or call 911.

 

Hindsight discussion of imaginary next times doesn't help keep the prioritization straight when the next emergency comes -- instead it confuses the mind and encourages freezing up or acting in the wrong order.  You must stay or get safe FIRST, as safe as you can reasonably get, so you don't become part of the problem.  If you aren't safe you probably won't be able to complete a call for help -- keep that in mind.  AFTER you get to safety you call for help as quickly as you can, because every second counts.  Don't take the time to first try to take pictures or get a better view, because this gives the perp or any accomplices you might not see time to reach you and deal with you.

 

OP did right to stay safe and call.  She should have done exactly what she did even if she didn't have any kids in the car. 

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