Guest Posted January 16, 2015 Share Posted January 16, 2015 (edited) .... Edited June 21, 2016 by Guest Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Mandylubug Posted January 16, 2015 Share Posted January 16, 2015 We enjoy a larger church. It is crowded and I find comfort slipping into the crowd and enjoy it much more than a smaller church. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
JenneinCA Posted January 16, 2015 Share Posted January 16, 2015 You aren't alone. I left the church for other reasons, but certainly people wanting me to be more involved didn't make it better. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
marbel Posted January 16, 2015 Share Posted January 16, 2015 I am pretty introverted, but mostly I have been very happy at church so I would have to say there are good churches for introverts. There are times when I have felt inadequate because I wasn't doing as much as more extroverted people, but it didn't take long to figure out that I was doing that to myself - no one else was making me feel that way. I've always found my niche, and serve in behind-the-scenes ways that are more within my comfort zone. I also sometimes am pushed outside my comfort zone but that is generally a good thing, if it doesn't have to happen all the time. But still sometimes I feel like "get me out of here" at the end of the service, and sometimes I don't want to go. But of course I don't know how much you are being pushed to join things. Are people pushing you to be more involved because it bothers them that you are not, or because they think that anyone who isn't on three committees is a slacker, or because they simply need more people to help with various things and you seem a likely candidate? I think a bigger church with a paid staff (so not needing people to volunteer much) is probably going to make you feel most comfortable, as you will be able to be as anonymous as you like there. I hope you find what you are looking for. :grouphug: Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
momacacia Posted January 16, 2015 Share Posted January 16, 2015 We moved from a city where we served in a quiet, peaceful, contemplative service. It was small, candlelit, Celtic, traditional, poetry and scripture reading. We did some reading and singing. I'm a people-needing introvert (yeah, I'm messed up). But it does seems all the churches want someone in a small group and are you connected blah, blah, blah. I want to connect with people because the relationships are meaningful, not just so we can have a social club. But, maybe it's the best way an organization can try to start those actual meaningful relationships. ??? Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest Posted January 16, 2015 Share Posted January 16, 2015 (edited) .... Edited June 21, 2016 by Guest Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Carol in Cal. Posted January 16, 2015 Share Posted January 16, 2015 For this I like a medium sized, liturgical church. The worship services are predictable but the Bible readings and content change every week, so there is a comfortable mix of things you already know and things that you may not have heard for a while. Everyone pays attention in most liturgical services, and participates. But they do so somewhat more as individuals. No one ever calls on people in the pews. A small church like that tends to be a great deal of work, which can be nice but can also be a bit overwhelming, simply because there are too many jobs for too few people. Big churches like that tend to want to get you into groups to get 'engaged', and if that is not what you want, it can be problematic. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
SparklyUnicorn Posted January 16, 2015 Share Posted January 16, 2015 What about attending church at an odd time. So not the service that is the most popular and filled up. If your church has such a thing... Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Acadie Posted January 16, 2015 Share Posted January 16, 2015 Are you asking if there's a denomination that's good for introverts? I've often thought Catholicism, if the church overall is a good fit, makes more space for introverts than some other denominations. In some ways you've answered your own question if a traditional service feels right to you...what denominations locally are more traditional? Amy Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Garga Posted January 16, 2015 Share Posted January 16, 2015 But it does seems all the churches want someone in a small group and are you connected blah, blah, blah. I want to connect with people because the relationships are meaningful, not just so we can have a social club. But, maybe it's the best way an organization can try to start those actual meaningful relationships. ??? Yes, that's why they do it. If you walk in and then walk out without saying more than, "Hello," you can't find meaningful relationships. The church is hoping to provide a way for people to find those meaningful relationships by having smaller groups meet. Sometimes it works, sometimes it doesn't. We're not very extroverted around here. Our church takes food to the homeless a few times a month. We contribute by making homemade cookies. We drop them off at the outreach coordinator's house. We've yet to actually see a homeless person, but we make them lots of cookies! If your church needs help (OP), them maybe you can find some sort of non-people thing to do. Can you clean something? Or set up chairs or something? Make cookies? Pour the wine into those little plastic cups before the service? (Depending on the denomination.) If you want a church where you do nothing to help, then maybe a larger church is better. Smaller churches often need help to keep things going. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
TravelingChris Posted January 16, 2015 Share Posted January 16, 2015 We are a family of introverts and like our church. It is liturgical and there seem to be a lot of introverts here. We go to a Sunday School class where we watch Teaching Company video series (this time on Ancient Near Eastern Religions) and then we have a discussion. You can say something or not. But it isn't a social chit chat. In this class, we have actually met most of the people and do talk to them before or after class sometimes. Our church service is fairly formal and we feel at home in this church. Yes, there are some extroverts here but overall, our church seems to attract a lot of introverts. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Justified Posted January 16, 2015 Share Posted January 16, 2015 As introvert, I am considering just going to Sunday school. It's a more quiet and indepth study of the word. I thrive in a classroom environment. I am going to a big church and its nice to be able to just ease in and out. I think a pastor wouldn't be doing his job if he wasn't encouraging people to be involved and connected in church. Even as an introvert, I would like to be connected but just in a low key way. The big church as Sunday classes during service so I am going to just go to those instead. I don't mind meeting people or interacting in a classroom setting. Fluorescent lighting, hard cold chairs, fake wood tables...why is that so relaxing to me? It's those social gatherings of eating food with strangers that makes me uncomfortable or going to someone's house I never met before or met just once. On a side note, I had a revelation the other day about my feelings toward the church that really changed me. My kid and another littler kid were fighting over a hula hoop at the gym. I wasn't sure who was in the wrong but because mine was older, I instinctively told her to submit to the younger and give up the hula hoop. The other mother thought it was her girl in the wrong and I said I didn't really know but that I thought in this situation the older should submit to the younger (for maturity reasons). This had me thinking that this is a biblical teaching that I wasn't really applying in my heart to the rest of my church body. We often want to be particular about this issue and that based off our personally understnding. I realized I was fighting over hula hoops that really didn't make a huge difference. I needed to grow up and mature and let go of some hula hoops. Maybe I was right on some issues but I certainly wasn't showing anyone grace by making a fuss. I also wasn't making any good points holding on to the hula hoops and making a fuss. These hula hoops were keeping me from church. Now every time I have a moment where I start to reach for an issue not to go to church, I think hula hoop and let it go if it really isn't a fundamentally serious biblical issue (like denying Jesus Christ as Lord and Savior or saying that He wasn't crucifed, buried and resurrected or wasn't God manifested in the flesh, etc). With that being said, if your spirit is telling you that that church isn't right for you then by all means leave but don't give up on church all together. Grace and peace. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Liz CA Posted January 16, 2015 Share Posted January 16, 2015 If you are referring to the cheerful greetings and "mandated" hand shaking and greeting everyone after worship, it may be something to get used to or at our church you could observe that part of the service outside via TV and then slip in for the teaching. If you feel pressured by people to actually join committees, a simple "my schedule won't allow it at this time. I will consider it if anything changes for me" (said with a smile) should suffice. It is generally difficult for you to assert yourself? Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
milovany Posted January 16, 2015 Share Posted January 16, 2015 The Orthodox Church, absolutely. _______ Edited to remove extraneous information because I talk too much. This first sentence is all I really wanted to say. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
happypamama Posted January 16, 2015 Share Posted January 16, 2015 I totally hear you! It seems that every church we try wants you to stand up and introduce yourself and shake hands and all of that, even on your first visit. I hate it! (And my DH hates it even more.). I'm there to worship, not to socialize. Then so much talk about relationships and small groups and fellowship and sharing and all of that. It takes time, lots of time, before I'm willing to open up to people, and a huge emphasis on all of that too quickly is a definite turnoff. When I go to church, I really just want to be an anonymous part of the greater Body, our voices all blending together in praise to our God, with maybe some insights shared by a few people. Not all the social stuff and introducing myself to fifty people on the first visit. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Barb_ Posted January 16, 2015 Share Posted January 16, 2015 Catholics will leave you alone, if that is your preference. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Liz CA Posted January 16, 2015 Share Posted January 16, 2015 I totally hear you! It seems that every church we try wants you to stand up and introduce yourself and shake hands and all of that, even on your first visit. I hate it! (And my DH hates it even more.). I'm there to worship, not to socialize. Then so much talk about relationships and small groups and fellowship and sharing and all of that. It takes time, lots of time, before I'm willing to open up to people, and a huge emphasis on all of that too quickly is a definite turnoff. When I go to church, I really just want to be an anonymous part of the greater Body, our voices all blending together in praise to our God, with maybe some insights shared by a few people. Not all the social stuff and introducing myself to fifty people on the first visit. Wow, that would take me aback too. People should be given a chance to decide if it the right place for them before they are put on the spot - and even then I don't like to be in the spotlight. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Seasider Posted January 16, 2015 Share Posted January 16, 2015 Are you asking if there's a denomination that's good for introverts? I've often thought Catholicism, if the church overall is a good fit, makes more space for introverts than some other denominations. In some ways you've answered your own question if a traditional service feels right to you...what denominations locally are more traditional? Amy If you prefer Protestant, a traditional Presbyterian church might fit the bill, too. I agree with what someone mentioned upstream, a liturgical style might be more comfortable for you. But much will depend on what doctrines are crucial to you. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Twolittleboys Posted January 16, 2015 Share Posted January 16, 2015 I agree, a more traditional church probably will work better for you. We are Catholic and there really is very little pressure in most churches I have visited. Some are more outgoing than others (so just avoid those). There is usually handshaking at one point of the ceremony but it isn't very personal. Sometimes the priest will shake hands as you leave (often can be avoided). Some churches in the US do ask visitors/newcomers to stand up/introduce themselves but if the church is a bit bigger you can just ignore it. Noone has ever asked me to join anything there. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
6packofun Posted January 16, 2015 Share Posted January 16, 2015 You aren't alone. I left the church for other reasons, but certainly people wanting me to be more involved didn't make it better. Being involved in the service? That is the aspect that can be daunting for me. Honestly, I don't *love* church service, no matter where we have gone. I like the teaching part, but the rest I could take it or leave it. I feel most comfortable in a small group setting--which may be scarier for some introverts, it depends! I know some people who only attend church occasionally, like when there will be communion or baptism, etc. and then get "fed" mainly through smaller groups that can go deeper into the Word together. If you mean being involved at all, I think that that's another issue. lol Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
marbel Posted January 16, 2015 Share Posted January 16, 2015 I totally hear you! It seems that every church we try wants you to stand up and introduce yourself and shake hands and all of that, even on your first visit. I hate it! (And my DH hates it even more.). I'm there to worship, not to socialize. Then so much talk about relationships and small groups and fellowship and sharing and all of that. It takes time, lots of time, before I'm willing to open up to people, and a huge emphasis on all of that too quickly is a definite turnoff. When I go to church, I really just want to be an anonymous part of the greater Body, our voices all blending together in praise to our God, with maybe some insights shared by a few people. Not all the social stuff and introducing myself to fifty people on the first visit. I have never experienced that. (Not saying it doesn't happen, but having been to a lot of different churches over the years, it seems I would have seen that once. Just lucky I guess. :-) ) It can be a conundrum. I have been to a very large church that emphasized small groups so that people could become connected. 15 years after leaving that church I am still connected with people I met there in my small group and through other activities there. But, it would have been impossible to develop relationships with people simply by showing up for the service. There were also few needs for volunteers as the church had a large paid staff. The church I go to now has about 150 members with a lot of nonmember regular attenders. We do need people to be involved somewhat - there is a lot of work to do and we have a small staff - but that can be as simple as getting on the snack rotation (bringing food for Sunday morning fellowship time), or making coffee, or helping in the nursery, or cleaning up after the service. Of course there are ways to be more involved. No one points out new people or demands a lot of participation, though of course we do like it when people become involved because that signals a commitment to the church and shows that they are comfortable there. No one can tell how much contact a visitor wants. A woman came to our church once and wrote a nasty letter to the pastor complaining that no one had spoken to her on her first visit. The pastor was surprised because he and his wife had spoken to her, and he had seen others too. He asked around and it seemed that at least 10 people had had contact with the woman. But it was not enough for her. Ten people greeting me on my first visit would have been overwhelming! I would have left after the first few. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
fairfarmhand Posted January 16, 2015 Share Posted January 16, 2015 our church pastor (perhaps 2 of the 3 pastors) are introverts. That helps a ton. They don't automatically expect everyone to be at every event. They understand that different personalities have different needs. They respect our own knowledge of ourselves. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
kathy_overman Posted January 16, 2015 Share Posted January 16, 2015 I too am an introvert, and find the socializing at church overwhelming and draining. Although, I do enjoy a small group. However, the process of finding the 'right' small group for me can be very exhausting, so for now we are not in a small group. I enjoy watching Rick Warren online (http://saddleback.com). I often get my need for worship filled by listening to his sermons, and then I go to church for my children. We are considering a change of churches because my oldest son is overwhelmed by his current youth group program. I find we have to re-evaluate our programs as we grow and our needs change. As my oldest becomes a teen - his needs change. As I grow older my needs change. I believe it is OK to find what works for you - for me, it is about my relationship with God - not my relationship with the 100s of people in the sanctuary. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
PeachyDoodle Posted January 16, 2015 Share Posted January 16, 2015 I feel you, OP. We tried to leave our church over doctrinal issues, but I found it impossible to feel comfortable anywhere else because I have such a hard time getting to know new people. I think I was only comfortable at our original church because I grew up there. Now it has changed significantly and probably doubled in size, and it's getting harder and harder for me to be happy there. We mostly only attend our Sunday school class, and truthfully I just do that because I want the kids to feel connected somewhere. I stay on the fringes and just don't let myself be dragged into other activities. I think this is easier for me to rationalize this because of the ongoing doctrinal issues. I hope you find someplace where you are happy. I understand why churches encourage Christians to come together (for edification and support, etc.) but honestly I think for some of us those goals are better served in the context of more intimate relationships. For me, they definitely come from my family and from an older friend who is my spiritual mentor. This is something many extraverts just don't understand. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
PrincessMommy Posted January 16, 2015 Share Posted January 16, 2015 It seems that more and more churches are becoming a place for extroverts. What about those of us who are introverted? Lately I feel so uncomfortable when I go to church that I have considered just leaving it altogether (not my faith). To be honest, I have always felt a tad uncomfortable in church since I was a kid. I don't know if it's just me, but I find churches today to be more pushy about getting involved, joining groups, etc... I am not a group joiner and prefer a peaceful, quiet traditional service. Am I the only one out there that struggles with this? no, it's not just you. I think the dynamic of modern Churches is moving toward extroverts. But, it really depends on what you are looking for and also, the personality of the particular church you go to. I would say *generally* more contemporary churches fit this than those that tend towards traditional and/or liturgical services. Churches that lean toward the contemporary style have more of a concert feel, so if you don't like that you probably won't like those types of church services. Liturgical services tend toward contemplation and quiet. This is especially true of their evening service (Evensong or Vespers depending on the tradition). Small churches can be great for introverts because they're more intimate...but then, they can be a problem because a new person will definitely stand out. Also, if the church tends to be a friendly place- well, then everyone will want to meet you and be your friend. That may be overwhelming for you. Large churches are great if you want to slip in and not be noticed... but it's probably like going to church in a crowded place - all.the.time. That can be draining. I have a friend who used to go to my parish (Eastern Orthodox) but switched to another larger EO church because she preferred a place larger where she could slip in and out of the service and "not have to make friends" as she said. I miss her but totally understand she needed someplace with a little more anonymity. I agree that having a pastor who is an introvert helps a lot. This is true of my parish... our priest isn't very outgoing and we often joke that he will NOT seek out new people. It can come across as unfriendly, especially with those who are used to pastors who have more of a uh....used car salesman feel ;) edited: to fix where I put *ex*trovert instead of *in*trovert. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
PrincessMommy Posted January 16, 2015 Share Posted January 16, 2015 I totally hear you! It seems that every church we try wants you to stand up and introduce yourself and shake hands and all of that, even on your first visit. I hate it! (And my DH hates it even more.). I'm there to worship, not to socialize. Then so much talk about relationships and small groups and fellowship and sharing and all of that. It takes time, lots of time, before I'm willing to open up to people, and a huge emphasis on all of that too quickly is a definite turnoff. When I go to church, I really just want to be an anonymous part of the greater Body, our voices all blending together in praise to our God, with maybe some insights shared by a few people. Not all the social stuff and introducing myself to fifty people on the first visit. ugh...I would hate that. Our previous Lutheran church did the "greeting of peace" before communion. I hated it. Fortunately, EO don't seem to do that (at least not the ones I've ever visited).. I can be as anonymous as I want to - as long as I don't show up for coffee hour :001_rolleyes: Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
happypamama Posted January 16, 2015 Share Posted January 16, 2015 I have never experienced that. (Not saying it doesn't happen, but having been to a lot of different churches over the years, it seems I would have seen that once. Just lucky I guess. :-) ) Oh, we've seen it happen several times. Maybe it's a location thing, or maybe it tends to be more typical of the denominations we try. But yeah, several times, we've heard, "if you're here for the first time, please raise your hand so we can greet you," and then during the greeting time, we're flooded with people introducing themselves. In one case, a church was nice, but we knew after the first visit that it wasn't right for us, but because we'd filled out a card (not a good move on our part), they kept calling us. We are conspicuous enough with five young children; we'd really just like to slip in, observe the service, get a feel for the church, and leave. But I know some people do feel like they need a high level of contact, and I'm sure it's very hard to know what people want. I still think a better approach is "if you're new here, feel free to take the materials on the back table," and then the pastor can make further introductions when he shakes people's hands upon leaving the service. Not fifty people overwhelming a visitor at once. But even in a church where I knew many of the people, I'd still think that the "stand and greet each other" part in the midst of the service was inappropriate. Get the socializing done before or afterward! And we won't talk about our knack for hitting Special Sunday. Every time we try a new church, we invariably hit the day that the youth group is leading the service, or the pastor is out of town, or a missionary is speaking, or whatever. It's hard to get a feel for what a church is really like. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
LLMom Posted January 16, 2015 Share Posted January 16, 2015 I attend a Traditional Latin Mass. Very quiet and well, traditional with Gregorian chant. Most people keep to themselves and aren't pushy about getting involved. No clapping, loud singing, no charismatic stuff. I love the silence of the Mass. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
ktgrok Posted January 16, 2015 Share Posted January 16, 2015 Do you have a traditional, latin mass in your area? Excellent for introverts. No touching, no sign of the peace, nothing like that. Just you following along, and listening. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
marbel Posted January 16, 2015 Share Posted January 16, 2015 Oh, we've seen it happen several times. Maybe it's a location thing, or maybe it tends to be more typical of the denominations we try. But yeah, several times, we've heard, "if you're here for the first time, please raise your hand so we can greet you," and then during the greeting time, we're flooded with people introducing themselves. In one case, a church was nice, but we knew after the first visit that it wasn't right for us, but because we'd filled out a card (not a good move on our part), they kept calling us. We are conspicuous enough with five young children; we'd really just like to slip in, observe the service, get a feel for the church, and leave. <snip> Yeah, I would hate that. We do put a card in the order of service for people to fill out if they want contact. During the announcements the pastor or whoever is leading will mention the card and ask people to put it in the offering plate. That's it. I'm sure people get one phone call if they put their information down but that would be it. Our pastors are not into chasing people down. There is also a door out of the sanctuary right to the parking lot so people can get out before they go into the area where the after-service coffee and fellowship happen. Now that I'm reading this thread I do have a memory of one church that was a bit overwhelming. We were visiting a church in our area just to go someplace different - we just do that occasionally. There was zero chance we would be joining the church. And we were getting in almost late - the service was about to start - but the greeter was haranguing us about signing in the book. We tried to explain that we weren't potential members and we wanted to get in before the service started, but she was quite insistent almost to the point of nastiness. It left us with a very bad feeling. IIRC, my husband was acquainted with one of the elders of that church and mentioned the incident to him. We also are not a church with a lot of programs. There are some small groups but there is no pressure to join. The two (part-time) pastors do not belong to any of the small groups, though they will drop in occasionally. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
OhanaBee Posted January 16, 2015 Share Posted January 16, 2015 I attend a "large" [for this area] Presby church and have found my introvert niche there. When I joined [after attending 3 years] I mentioned to the pastors that for the first two years I was there, no one knew who I was. No one talked to me except by my choice. They were appalled, until I said that it was *my* choice to be that quiet and unobtrusive. Had I wanted to get involved, I would have done so. But I was going through really rough time and just wanted to BE. Now I'm in the choir, handbell choir and work the Soup Kitchen once a month. But every summer I take two months off where I don't go to church at all. It's what I need to recharge. If I find I want to attend church during that time, I'll go to the Catholic church down the road from us. And in serving in the Soup Kitchen - I'm the one hiding in the back of the kitchen, washing dishes. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
marbel Posted January 16, 2015 Share Posted January 16, 2015 <snip> And in serving in the Soup Kitchen - I'm the one hiding in the back of the kitchen, washing dishes. I find kitchen work to be the best for me too. I have branched out but generally I find myself in the kitchen. Recently at a congregational lunch (which I hate for many reasons, but still participate in) I found myself with a small group of introverts hiding in the office with our plates of food (what was left after we let everyone else go ahead of us in line, of course). It was the most fun I've ever had at one of those lunches! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Chris in VA Posted January 16, 2015 Share Posted January 16, 2015 My son is an introvert. He goes to the early service at our liturgical church. No music, short homily instead of sermon, Eucharist....He's connected to the larger body, but his worship is quiet. I like going to a church with different "styles" of worship at each service. We have different wording, too--Rite One is more formal (thees and thous type stuff) and Rite Two is more casual (but not "casual," just more...well, how we normally talk--still reverent and all). And we have different music, too--no music, hymns and folk, and then just organ at the last one (3 services each Sunday). Maybe you could find somewhere like that. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
earthyfamily Posted January 16, 2015 Share Posted January 16, 2015 We moved from a city where we served in a quiet, peaceful, contemplative service. It was small, candlelit, Celtic, traditional, poetry and scripture reading. We did some reading and singing. I'm a people-needing introvert (yeah, I'm messed up). But it does seems all the churches want someone in a small group and are you connected blah, blah, blah. I want to connect with people because the relationships are meaningful, not just so we can have a social club. But, maybe it's the best way an organization can try to start those actual meaningful relationships. ??? Droooool. That's my kind of service. Wish we had something like that here. :/ Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Peaceful Isle Posted January 16, 2015 Share Posted January 16, 2015 I would just keep trying till you find the right one. It will be so worth it. I would look for a small church that doesn't have lots of activities and that you feel is teaching the truth. You can maybe connect with a few people and enjoy learning under the Word. Btw, our church never ever points out visitors, but I used to go to one that did. They would have you stand, state your name etc.. I think it's kinda old school now though to do that. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
imagine.more Posted January 16, 2015 Share Posted January 16, 2015 Are you asking if there's a denomination that's good for introverts? I've often thought Catholicism, if the church overall is a good fit, makes more space for introverts than some other denominations. In some ways you've answered your own question if a traditional service feels right to you...what denominations locally are more traditional? Amy Yep, I'm Catholic and it's a great place for introverts in general. Larger Catholic churches are even better. In general (of course some places are different) they respect privacy and personal faith expressions. Some are more participatory, doing readings and singing loudly and such, and others are more quiet in their reverence. And most of the parts the congregation participates in are not social things, it's genuflecting and bowing heads and such. The peace offering is about as social as it gets and if you're quiet people are respectful if you simply fold your hands and give a genuine smile and nod to them and mutter "peace be with you". Others hug or go around the whole church sharing the peace, lol! My kids are more on that end of the spectrum, they'd spend 20 minutes just shaking hands and hugging people if they could :) To each their own, I like that there's welcome for both introverts and extroverts. I attended my DH's Lutheran churches for years and it always made me so uncomfortable how nosy people were. There was no focus on worship, it was all about socializing. Fun when you feel like it but if you're maxed out on people for the day it can be overwhelming. They are a lot smaller than typical Catholic churches and I think that makes a difference. I'd say if you're looking for a different church congregation in your particular denomination go for one that is bigger. It sounds counterintuitive but its the same reason I went to a large state university and my extroverted husband went to a small private college. Larger = more anonymity. Also, of course you might want to avoid any charismatic leaning churches, they like participation :) And earlier services tend to be better for introverts. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
KrissiK Posted January 16, 2015 Share Posted January 16, 2015 As an introvert, I do prefer larger churches. You can be more anonymous. We go to a small church and I do children's church and I'm finding that more and more often it takes me longer and longer to tidy up the room so I don't have to to go social time after the service. Everyone is so nice and friendly, they really are, and they like me, but I can't do small talk for the life of me. It helped when the children were small because I could spend my time attending to them, but now they just grab their snacks and go out and run around in the courtyard. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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