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My kids aren't getting a good education, according to neighbourhood kids.


Jasperstone
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There isn't one. There is nothing your kids can say as a "comeback" that will end the argument. If these kids were really concerned about your child's education they would be whispering it with them and talking to you very seriously, as children sometimes do. The fact that they're "yelling" it shows that they are only say it to get under your kids' skin, and it's plainly working.

 

If your kids still want to play with these children, I suggest they learn to change the subject, or perhaps pick a single, simple line to indicate that that line of conversation is over, as in "That's our business, not yours" or "That's not what the school board says"  (if applicable) or "Maybe, maybe not" or "Sure, if you say so".

 

If they don't, then they should simply leave if it comes up.

 

I'll say now the same thing I tell everybody, because it's good advice no matter how old you are: If you let people discuss these things with you, you're sending the message that how you educate your children (or how you are educated) is up for discussion. And if it's not, it's not. Don't even let it get started.

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My neighbor's daughter came over one day and in front of her mother said in a snotty voice, "Why do you HOMEschool?" (obvious parroting something her mother had said.)

 

I replied, "So that we can go to DisneyWorld while you are in school and have low crowds and walk on all the rides."

 

Her eyes got huge and she turned to her mother and said, "I want to homeschool!"

 

They quickly left.

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That doesn't sound like something a kid would say on his own.  It sounds like something kids would parrot after hearing their parents say it.

 

So I'd tell kiddos to ask, "Why would you say that?"

 

It could be the only family one of them knows that homeschools does it to avoid sex ed and doesn't teach their kids much of anything at all.  I've known families like that. At any rate, asking why they think that will give your kids an opportunity to correct them.

 

ETA: My response to that is typically some variation of, "The best education is always going to be learning challenging material to mastery at a child's own pace.  No school we can afford can possibly provide that."  But then, I typically have that conversation with other parents, after I've guaged why they care.  Homeschool isn't right for every family.

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My neighbor's daughter came over one day and in front of her mother said in a snotty voice, "Why do you HOMEschool?" (obvious parroting something her mother had said.)

 

I replied, "So that we can go to DisneyWorld while you are in school and have low crowds and walk on all the rides."

 

Her eyes got huge and she turned to her mother and said, "I want to homeschool!"

 

They quickly left.

I love this one!!!

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Chances are the other kids are just jealous. Is there any way your kids could avoid even engaging with this?

 

They don't really bring it up normally, unless kids ask- What school do you go to?

 

Yeah, they do ignore it, but I'm getting tired of it, as I bet it's from the parents mainly.

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Sometimes, you have to just accept that the neighbor kids won't make great friends. 

 

When middle school hit, mine were utterly rejected and bullied by the kids they had played with since they were toddlers.

 

We had to find friends elsewhere.

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I agree......only problem is they want to make friends, and play in the neighbourhood.

 

Joining in the joke lessens the tension often times. Help your kids come up with something that agrees with the accusation, but takes it to a silly conclusion. Make the other one laugh, disarm the tension, and like Tanaqui suggested, change the subject, move on.

 

"I know! Maybe I'll grow up and join the circus!" then make monkey noises and run off to something else.

"Edumacation? What be dat?" silly face

"Oh well!" shrug shoulders

"I know enough to know Mom has cookies stashed in the freezer!" (make sure there are cookies there, Jasper!)

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When middle school hit, mine were utterly rejected and bullied by the kids they had played with since they were toddlers.

 

We had to find friends elsewhere.

Yeah, pretty much the public schoolers go by the wayside by that age too. I no longer really want to mess with public schooled friends anymore. It is better to find home schoolers who will still be around in a few years.

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My neighbor's daughter came over one day and in front of her mother said in a snotty voice, "Why do you HOMEschool?" (obvious parroting something her mother had said.)

 

I replied, "So that we can go to DisneyWorld while you are in school and have low crowds and walk on all the rides."

 

Her eyes got huge and she turned to her mother and said, "I want to homeschool!"

 

They quickly left.

I jokingly mentioned less vacation crowds as a benefit to homeschooling and PS friend laughed derisively. I advise she shouldn't knock it until she visited Disney World with no waits for rides (she and her family love Disney).

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DawnM, on 07 Jan 2015 - 8:00 PM, said:

Pray for homeschoolers to move in somewhere close to you.

even homeschooled kids can be snotty.  (and I've had to deal with some in my local group.)

 

if you're going to pray for anything - pray some nice kids with whom your dc can be friends move in.

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That is a benefit not to be sneezed at. Yesterday it was 36 degrees (97F) and we decamped to the local swimming pool. It was infested with kids. I can't wait until all the over-4's are imprisoned in school so we can have the deep end of the pool to ourselves. I wouldn't even contemplate taking my kids to a theme park during school holidays!

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My daughter and her friend are good kids who try to be nice to everyone, but they were struggling with a couple girls that just pick pick picked. They asked how to deal with it when they would say rude things. I told them to look at them, smile, and say "Thanks". Totally worked. When our girls didn't react badly or engage, it took the wind out of the sails of the mean girls. With no reaction it took away their fun in picking.

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That is a benefit not to be sneezed at. Yesterday it was 36 degrees (97F) and we decamped to the local swimming pool. It was infested with kids. I can't wait until all the over-4's are imprisoned in school so we can have the deep end of the pool to ourselves. I wouldn't even contemplate taking my kids to a theme park during school holidays!

We were horrified yesterday when the beach was so full that we couldn't find a car park! Forget that...

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even homeschooled kids can be snotty.  (and I've had to deal with some in my local group.)

 

if you're going to pray for anything - pray some nice kids with whom your dc can be friends move in.

 

True, but if they are nice and homeschool, you can not worry as much about the school schedule, etc....

 

There are very few kids in our neighborhood at all and we kind of like that, but we are the odd balls in that we homeschool when we live in the best school assignment in the entire greater city area.   One neighbor actually told us that if anyone moves here and doesn't use the local schools, they are just stupid.   :cursing:

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True, but if they are nice and homeschool, you can not worry as much about the school schedule, etc....

 

There are very few kids in our neighborhood at all and we kind of like that, but we are the odd balls in that we homeschool when we live in the best school assignment in the entire greater city area.   One neighbor actually told us that if anyone moves here and doesn't use the local schools, they are just stupid.   :cursing:

 

People are morons.

 

It's amazing to me what some parents think of as "amazing" schools.  Sometimes they really just mean sheltered and not diverse, as opposed to the number of AP courses availible, average standardized test scores, lab and computer equipment, or the percentage of kids who go on to get a college degree, and what sorts of schools they get them from.

 

Not here, but in the last place we moved we kept hearing about this "amazing" classical "prep" academy.  I looked into it.  The highest standardized test score in the previous 4 years had never been enough to get into the colleges DH and I went to (one of which was a state university).  But they sure were up on making sure there was no Harry Potter in the school library, and bringing a copy of it onto campus was grounds for expulsion.  Blech.

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True, but if they are nice and homeschool, you can not worry as much about the school schedule, etc....

 

There are very few kids in our neighborhood at all and we kind of like that, but we are the odd balls in that we homeschool when we live in the best school assignment in the entire greater city area.   One neighbor actually told us that if anyone moves here and doesn't use the local schools, they are just stupid.   :cursing:

 

It's amazing to me what some parents think of as "amazing" schools.  Sometimes they really just mean sheltered and not diverse, as opposed to the number of AP courses availible, average standardized test scores, lab and computer equipment, or the percentage of kids who go on to get a college degree, and what sorts of schools they get them from.

 

Not here, but in the last place we moved we kept hearing about this "amazing" classical "prep" academy.  I looked into it.  The highest standardized test score in the previous 4 years had never been enough to get into the colleges DH and I went to (one of which was a state university).  But they sure were up on making sure there was no Harry Potter in the school library, and bringing a copy of it onto campus was grounds for expulsion.  Blech.

 

Agreed. 

I teach in one of the better schools in our area. Tons of technology, great on test, etc. Yet, I refuse to send my children here - to the point that we are delaying a home purchase so that I can homeschool.

I don't see what we do in the classroom as that great. We don't teach history or science; we don't teach spelling or handwriting (aside from what they get up to 2nd grade); we test almost as much as we teach. But, yeah...we're a "great school". We're so "lucky" to live in this district.  :thumbdown:

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One of my children responded to that kind of snark by singing the Greek Alphabet at painful decibel levels incessantly. That shuts the parents right up too.  "Oh, that's Greek."  (Cue mom's incessant raving on the newest Greek curriculum to the disinterested and flabbergasted busybody.)  It didn't turn out nicely with that family, btw.  They NEEDED to believe that homeschoolers are idiots, and we turned that fairy tale on its head.

 

 

 

Honestly though, I've found that my kids will want to play Robin Hood or something similar, and the other kids won't know Friar Tuck or Alan-a-Dale to play the parts.  It starts as an innocent shock that not all 9yo boys are enthralled with the Merry Adventures, but digresses into some know-it-all-ness from my own little homeschooled darlings. We've had talks.

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My neighbor's daughter came over one day and in front of her mother said in a snotty voice, "Why do you HOMEschool?" (obvious parroting something her mother had said.)

 

I replied, "So that we can go to DisneyWorld while you are in school and have low crowds and walk on all the rides."

 

Her eyes got huge and she turned to her mother and said, "I want to homeschool!"

 

They quickly left.

 

But seriously, that is not why you homeschool, is it?

 

So your kids can sleep in, wear pajamas, and go to Disneyland (or the skate rink, or the climbing wall, or wherever) on low-traffic days?

 

If you're not taking the question seriously, wouldn't a simple vague comeback--"That's for me to know and you to find out" suffice? And I do agree with previous posters that the question is not being asked in a serious way in this case, and it's best not to dignify it.

 

The problem is that some families (and we hear about such families on this board) actually do homeschool for convenience of the parents! So it's not like they'll think, "What funny, witty people. I wish I could come up with comebacks like that. And DISNEY, wow, lucky them."

 

They will think, "She actually homeschools to skip the lines at Disney. Wow."

 

Now, it doesn't matter what that person thinks of you personally. It does, however, affect the general vibe in the general public WRT homeschooling and if you're looking for better legislation and attitudes towards your child, I really wouldn't consider feeding that fire.

 

With respect to the defensive trashing of public schools, edited because I realized I don't want to get into it here. There is simply no good study suggesting that homeschoolers, when randomly selected and when race and income is controlled for, do better than even public school students, and the one study that tried to compare similar groups (Christians) found that homeschoolers did worse than private school students, and while that was a small study, it is the most academically rigorous one available.

 

http://www.patheos.com/blogs/lovejoyfeminism/2013/06/stop-saying-homeschoolers-are-brilliant.html

 

Please note that this person is not anti-homeschooling, though she may be opposed to other things that you agree with. She is anti-marketing-survey "study".

 

I do believe that homeschooling is best for most of your children, but I don't believe it when you tell me that my schools are crap.

 

 

The only response to people yelling at your kids is to have them ignore them and if the yelling turns into shoving, get an adult involved. The kids in question are rude and really do not deserve to have their questions dignified with an answer.

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Every kid should know to blame their parents. " Because my parents make me." Is it the best answer? No. But if they want to play with these kids it unites them in the " Parents are sooooo mean" battlefield.

 

Growing up, my parents always gave me permission to blame them, if I wanted. It avoids a lot of problem. Why I can't go out with friends, why I can't take candy from strangers (Or acquaintances I don't trust). Why I can't get in the car with someone else (If I was at all concerned about the situation). Why I can't go to a person's house.

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But seriously, that is not why you homeschool, is it?

 

So your kids can sleep in, wear pajamas, and go to Disneyland (or the skate rink, or the climbing wall, or wherever) on low-traffic days?

 

If you're not taking the question seriously, wouldn't a simple vague comeback--"That's for me to know and you to find out" suffice? And I do agree with previous posters that the question is not being asked in a serious way in this case, and it's best not to dignify it.

 

The problem is that some families (and we hear about such families on this board) actually do homeschool for convenience of the parents! So it's not like they'll think, "What funny, witty people. I wish I could come up with comebacks like that. And DISNEY, wow, lucky them."

 

They will think, "She actually homeschools to skip the lines at Disney. Wow."

 

Now, it doesn't matter what that person thinks of you personally. It does, however, affect the general vibe in the general public WRT homeschooling and if you're looking for better legislation and attitudes towards your child, I really wouldn't consider feeding that fire.

 

With respect to the defensive trashing of public schools, I'm just going to throw this out there--when I see what people's kids are studying, the only thing that resembles what my kids get in public schools is on the accelerated board. I would say about 90% of the posts I see for non-gifted kids, excluding of course those children whose parents' siggies have identified them as gifted or learning disabled, are behind my children. So, please-get over it. There is simply no good study suggesting that homeschoolers, when randomly selected and when race and income is controlled for, do better than even public school students, and the one study that tried to compare similar groups (Christians) found that homeschoolers did worse than private school students, and while that was a small study, it is the most academically rigorous one available.

 

http://www.patheos.com/blogs/lovejoyfeminism/2013/06/stop-saying-homeschoolers-are-brilliant.html

 

Please note that this person is not anti-homeschooling, though she may be opposed to other things that you agree with. She is anti-marketing-survey "study".

 

I do believe that homeschooling is best for most of your children, but I don't believe it when you tell me that my schools are crap.

 

Public schools were meant to be joint community projects. While I respect everyone's rights to live their own life and hate the government, going around saying "you all aren't good enough for me and I refuse to help out with making society more fair, instead I'm just going to use my advantage for my own kids" does not make you look superior. It simply sends a clear message that  you put your family first. (And no, not everyone does that. We have parents in our classrooms who pay for tutors to help out in the public schools. Yep. That's why we live here--people care about others.)

 

The only response to people yelling at your kids is to have them ignore them and if the yelling turns into shoving, get an adult involved. The kids in question are rude and really do not deserve to have their questions dignified with an answer.

 

I hope you are feeling better now, having got this off your chest.

 

Just so you know, lots of homeschoolers are community-minded people and very involved with their neighbors for the greater good. Public school teachers frequently homeschool, homeschooled kids frequently participate in classes at public school, and many of us are involved in tutoring ps kids, town planning committees, PTO, church leadership, or local government. We by no means hate the government or fail to care about others.

 

Also, again, just so you know, lists of curriculum in sigs no more give a complete picture of an academic experience than the state's academic standards on the DOE website really and truly portray exactly what happens in public school classrooms.

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I edited my post before your reply so I'm not going to respond to that part.

 

What I will say is that I didn't accuse homeschoolers of anything. I defended public schooling as a valid option not to be ridiculed and pointed out that anyway, the bullying doesn't deserve a response.

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Maybe there is a message board somewhere for B&M schooled kids who are ahead of homeschooled kids... :D

 

If you're thinking of a place where public school parents get together and talk about improving education and making things better and how their kids are doing, that's the PTSA.

 

I've never seen a public school website dedicated to trashing private or homeschooled kids, but if I were to encounter one, I'd say the same thing--not to trash other people's educational choices, not to answer bullies.

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If you're thinking of a place where public school parents get together and talk about improving education and making things better and how their kids are doing, that's the PTSA.

 

I've never seen a public school website dedicated to trashing private or homeschooled kids, but if I were to encounter one, I'd say the same thing--not to trash other people's educational choices, not to answer bullies.

How convenient...you edited my post to take out your words that trash other people's educational choices...

 

:rolleyes:

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But seriously, that is not why you homeschool, is it?

 

So your kids can sleep in, wear pajamas, and go to Disneyland (or the skate rink, or the climbing wall, or wherever) on low-traffic days?

 

If you're not taking the question seriously, wouldn't a simple vague comeback--"That's for me to know and you to find out" suffice? And I do agree with previous posters that the question is not being asked in a serious way in this case, and it's best not to dignify it.

 

The problem is that some families (and we hear about such families on this board) actually do homeschool for convenience of the parents! So it's not like they'll think, "What funny, witty people. I wish I could come up with comebacks like that. And DISNEY, wow, lucky them."

 

They will think, "She actually homeschools to skip the lines at Disney. Wow."

 

Now, it doesn't matter what that person thinks of you personally. It does, however, affect the general vibe in the general public WRT homeschooling and if you're looking for better legislation and attitudes towards your child, I really wouldn't consider feeding that fire.

 

I've read about parents taking their kids on cross-country trips. Obviously, homeschooling was more convenient than public-schooling.

 

One family had a father working in the oil fields (20 days on, 10 days off). They homeschooled so the kids could see him. Is that wrong for their family?

 

Another, the mom worked nights while the dad worked during the day. She did school with them before going to work.

 

Do I care if parents homeschool for the convenience of their own lives? No, I'm one of them. My DH travels extensively and homeschooling lets him see the kids more often. We get to travel with him. We get to got Disney in the off-season. Also, the beach, mountains, family, etc. It's not the only reason we homeschool, but it's a benefit and why should I be ashamed to admit it?

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I actually like the Disney World response, because it made the kid go 180.  The parent(s) had obviously set up the question/accusation to come from the kid, when really it was from the parent.  So, turning the kid back on the parent is justice.  

 

But, really, you don't have to home school to go Disney World during the school year, you can just pull your kid out of school for a week.  

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