this isn't ok, is it & wwyd?

[hornblower]

I will be deleting contents so pls don't quote.


edit:

- ok thank you everyone for comments & pm's & support. Plan is in place & an appointment booked. Thanks SO much.


 

[displace]

Just superficially sounds like maybe anxiety or a low level panic episode? Depending on age I would take to psych or someone for an eval (minor child).

[Jean in Newcastle]

Huge anxiety and panic attack red flags.  A doctor definitely can do something.  

[JumpyTheFrog]

How old is this person?

[BrookValley.]

Definitely get Person to a doctor, if possible.

[maize]

Sounds like serious anxiety, yes it is treatable but a person in the middle of it will not realize that. You need to get them to a doctor.

[Word Nerd]

Yes, I would insist.

[Heatherwith4]

As someone who has dealt with anxiety, yes this person should really see a doctor. :grouphug: to you.

[SKL]

Assuming all the easy-to-control factors are checked off - i.e., sleep, decent diet, nothing crazy happening in the family right now, not objectively too much on her plate - talking to someone to hear the options might be a good idea.

 

I kinda got that way when I was overwhelmed in a job.  It was not a mental issue, it was plain and simple overwhelm.  The solution was to give notice at my job.

[PrincessMommy]

Look into Cognitive behavioral therapy for anxiety.  Meds are great for when the attack is bad and they can't come down- but if you want them to learn behaviors that will help them avoid the attack then this should help. 

 

Also, in a pinch and until you can see a Dr., my 2 with anxiety swear by Bach's Rescue Remedy.  Its usually available at a health food stores - like Whole Foods.  We use the spray.  It really helps. But, its only a band aid.  Amazon sells it too.

[bolt.]

Yes, a doctor -- insist as hard as you can (without alienating the person, becoming emotionally abusive, or deceiving them). Bully if you must. It's one of those situations.

[unsinkable]

It sounds like anxiety that is verging on debilitating. If Person is female, the anxiety could be exacerbated by hormonal stuff. But Person needs some coping skills, at minimum.

 

But for me, I'd insist on a counselor. And perhaps based on the counselor's input, a doc who can prescribe.

 

I'm sorry. :grouphug:

[lmrich]

see a doctor

[Onceuponatime]

It sounds like this person is something of a perfectionist and is afraid of failing in some way. Or just plain afraid of the unknown possibilities of what could happen. I think when things are calm there at least needs to be a discussion with personal reassurances and plans made for future strategies to cope with issues that are bound to arise again. This person also needs to know that he/she is experiencing something quite common that can be addressed by professionals if needed, with no stigma attached.

[myfunnybunch]

Anxiety.

 

Person needs to see a doctor who can refer to a professional who deals with anxiety issues. Anti-anxiety meds and counseling were the best things we could have done for our person. Professional intervention has made a huge difference in her life.

 

:grouphug: :grouphug: :grouphug: to you and your person. It's difficult to deal with in both sets of shoes.

 

Cat

[TianXiaXueXiao]

I second the recommendation for CBT and Rescue Remedy, Calms Forte, or ignatia amara until you can get an rx for something stronger. With anxiety, learning healthy coping skills is really important. Hugs to you mama.

[Cammie]

Anxiety.  There are some really great meds that can help control it until the person is at a better place in their life.  I have used them and it really saved my life, allowed me to function when I had previously been on the floor, sobbing, not able to get out of the house.

[Orthodox6]

Please consult a pediatric psyichiatrist. This is treatable with very good results. Oir family has had three children with strong anxieties. In one child, symptoms exploded forth when he was barely three years old. He refused to leave the house unless every single family member who was at home at the time came with him. Therapy plus appropriate meds do absolute wonders for the individual's life!

[Only me]

I would definitely recommend seeing a doctor for this. I dealt with this with dd. One thing that really helped was making her understand is that anxiety, depression etc is an illness just like diabetes etc. There is something chemically wrong in the brain that the person can't help. It is nothing she is doing wrong. Once dd understood this she felt better going on meds.

[DawnM]

This sounds exactly like my son.  He is going to therapy (Aspie) but the therapist is now strongly recommending anxiety meds so we are seeing a Psychiatrist next.

[hornblower]

ok, thanks everyone for info & support. was starting to doubt my own thinking & needed that outside perspective.

[Orthodox6]

Coming back because of OP's description of crippling indecision. The same son whom I mentioned earlier has Asperger's. He, too, could NOT make any decision. If given a choice of his red shirt or the same red shirt -- (I deliberately give a silly example.) -- he absolutely could not decide. It was so hard to watch him struggle with life and his anxieties. Therapy and low-dose meds turned his life around as if by miracle.

[hornblower]

Coming back because of OP's description of crippling indecision. The same son whom I mentioned earlier has Asperger's. He, too, could NOT make any decision. If given a choice of his red shirt or the same red shirt -- (I deliberately give a silly example.) -- he absolutely could not decide. It was so hard to watch him struggle with life and his anxieties. Therapy and low-dose meds turned his life around as if by miracle.

 

the decision making paralysis has been an ongoing issue here & something of a family black humor joke. 

It's hard to figure out what is personality and what is pathology, though, kwim?

 

So encouraging to hear that people have overcome this & thrived.

[Orthodox6]

the decision making paralysis has been an ongoing issue here & something of a family black humor joke.

It's hard to figure out what is personality and what is pathology, though, kwim?

 

So encouraging to hear that people have overcome this & thrived.

He now is twenty years old and making all but straight As in college. Happy as a clam with good friends and a social life. I have every confidence that your situation can be turned around with happy results! My tablet does not have the "hug" emoticon, so consider it inserted here!

[Katy]

Yep, agree on the doctor and the suggestion for cognitive behavioral therapy.

 

Would also remove vegetable oils from the diet and add lots of saturated fat and omega-3 fatty acids.

[Seasider]

Hugs to you, hornblower. Sometimes we can be too close to get a good perspective on things - I was, in the case of my anxious child.

 

I don't know if others will identify with this, but as the parent, I must confess to holding off a while on naming/treating the anxiety due to trying to identify the problems I may have created or may be perpetuating as mom (perhaps some sort of mom guilt? I dunno). Then maybe there was even a little bit of "oh no, not MY normal kid!" (Being vulnerable here, y'all please be gentle with me.)

 

All that to say, it's not like when your kid has a fever or rash or something quite obvious. Emotional/behavioral things sometimes take a while for a parent to process, especially if you have a kid that's been more moody or temperamental his/her entire life. I found myself for a long while thinking the meltdowns were only a moody personality exacerbated by hormones. It is very helpful to have a third party opinion!

 

We are really at the beginning stages of recognizing rising anxiety and learning both coping and preventative strategies.

 

I am curious about a few things, not trying to hijack but maybe to piggyback and hope the feedback will also be useful to hornblower.

 

How do both medical doctor and counselor fit into the picture? Which to see first? If meds are not required, can one successfully begin with a counselor rather than a psychiatrist?

 

Should a parent make an initial visit to the counselor (or perhaps provide a letter) to provide background information, or does a counselor prefer to harvest information directly from the patient?

 

Am I correct in assuming that the counselor is trained to recognize when the counselee is presenting a not quite realistic perception of some situations?

 

Is counseling something to do together or do separately?

 

Any more info that may be helpful, please share.

[fraidycat]

WWID?

 

EFT

 

Learn it and live it. It can change your life.

 

Emofree.com

 

I have a "spirited", Negative Nelly perfectionist, firstborn, hormonal pubescent 12 year old, with a deployed father. She is tough to live with. However, we both tap. It makes life so much easier.

[momto5blessings]

My dear,

Please see a doctor quickly so that this can be dealt with.  This is not normal anxiety, and if left untreated can lead to more complicated issues.

Blessings,

Pamela

[Orthodox6]

Hugs to you, hornblower. Sometimes we can be too close to get a good perspective on things - I was, in the case of my anxious child.

 

I don't know if others will identify with this, but as the parent, I must confess to holding off a while on naming/treating the anxiety due to trying to identify the problems I may have created or may be perpetuating as mom (perhaps some sort of mom guilt? I dunno). Then maybe there was even a little bit of "oh no, not MY normal kid!" (Being vulnerable here, y'all please be gentle with me.)

 

All that to say, it's not like when your kid has a fever or rash or something quite obvious. Emotional/behavioral things sometimes take a while for a parent to process, especially if you have a kid that's been more moody or temperamental his/her entire life. I found myself for a long while thinking the meltdowns were only a moody personality exacerbated by hormones. It is very helpful to have a third party opinion!

 

We are really at the beginning stages of recognizing rising anxiety and learning both coping and preventative strategies.

 

I am curious about a few things, not trying to hijack but maybe to piggyback and hope the feedback will also be useful to hornblower.

 

How do both medical doctor and counselor fit into the picture? Which to see first? If meds are not required, can one successfully begin with a counselor rather than a psychiatrist?

 

Should a parent make an initial visit to the counselor (or perhaps provide a letter) to provide background information, or does a counselor prefer to harvest information directly from the patient?

 

Am I correct in assuming that the counselor is trained to recognize when the counselee is presenting a not quite realistic perception of some situations?

 

Is counseling something to do together or do separately?

 

Any more info that may be helpful, please share.

 

Not a "counselor" for a first stop, nor a "social worker", but either a child/adolescent psychologist or a child/adolescent psychiatrist.  In either case, try to pre-screen for someone with solid experience working with anxiety issues.  (For example, you do not need your city's top-runner expert for ADHD.)

 

If this is a minor child (under age eighteen), the initial visit likely will include parents alone, child alone, and all together -- segments of the visit.  Detailed questionnaires may be filled out by both the child and by each of the parents.  

 

Whether therapy be "group" or "individual" will depend upon the situation. 

 

Following a credible diagnosis -- (Don't rule out a second opinion, if it seems warranted.) -- a psychiatrist would be on the "team" if medications are needed.  (I gather that there are some psychologists with legal clearance to prescribe medications.)  A psychologist might be a second member of the team for purposes of therapy.  (Sometimes therapy is passed down the line to a licensed social worker.)  (which proved useless in our case; however, that is neither here nor there for readers of this thread.) 

 

Don't forget the resources of the many experienced parents over at the "Special Needs" sub-board.

 

[myfunnybunch]

I am curious about a few things, not trying to hijack but maybe to piggyback and hope the feedback will also be useful to hornblower.

 

How do both medical doctor and counselor fit into the picture? Which to see first? If meds are not required, can one successfully begin with a counselor rather than a psychiatrist?

 

Should a parent make an initial visit to the counselor (or perhaps provide a letter) to provide background information, or does a counselor prefer to harvest information directly from the patient?

 

Am I correct in assuming that the counselor is trained to recognize when the counselee is presenting a not quite realistic perception of some situations?

 

Is counseling something to do together or do separately?

 

Any more info that may be helpful, please share.

 

We started with our family doctor. She did an initial assessment and referred us to a psychiatrist who deals with teen girls (and young adults) at our request. We recognized, as did the doc, that this was beyond a family doctor's area of expertise (though she was amazing at helping with initial assessment) and we preferred to deal with a specialist.

 

The psychiatrist provided medication assessment and initial counseling for a few months. This allowed her to assess the need for meds versus counseling alone. After an initial counseling and treatment period, our psychiatrist transitioned to medication management and referred us to a counselor for ongoing counseling.

 

Should one start with counseling first, a good counselor specializing in anxiety issues should have a professional or two to whom s/he is willing to refer if she feels that medications would help stabilize the client. This is a good question to ask when searching for the right counselor.

 

The visits with the psychiatrist and the visits with the counselor typically included time with patient and family, family/parent(s) only, and patient only.

 

Hope that helps. :)

 

Cat

 

[Guest]

That sounds very intense and I agree it is not ok. I would be insistent about medical intervention as well, because this sounds like profound anxiety of the type that is greatly helped with SRI meds. (((Hugs)))).

[Slartibartfast]

That person needs intervention.

[poppy]

That was me. 

Please help the person get to treatment. 

Debilitating anxiety is a MEDICAL problem.

It has a built-in "it's my own fault I can't get over this" factor - typical. I spent about 4 years in pain and fear because of it.  Please push past.

 

Rescue Remedy or Natural Calm as a short term solution if the person can't take (or you can't get access to) something like Xanax.

Longer term, CBT and SSRIs are often very effective.

 

Just my opinion, but: talking about psych meds a shameful thing to be avoided is not helpful, particularly when talking about a person in crisis.

[claire up north]

I don't know where you are, but this sounds like something for the Calm Center in Minneapolis, Minnesota. Perhaps there is something similar near you?

[Dory]

As someone who deals with anxiety, I'd also say to get a psychologist.

 

A doctor, or a referral to a psychiatrist will get you meds if needed, a psychologist will help your child learn other coping skills so that meds might not have to be a forever thing, or can be on a lower dosage. It might take visiting a few different ones to find one that fits your child and you.

 

I have seen a psychiatrist only a couple times. They tend to go for meds first (they are doctors) and counseling after the meds. I now just see a psychologist and go to my doctor if I need a refill or adjustment on something.

[Storygirl]

My anxious child is much younger (9 when diagnosed with anxiety), but I can tell you how it worked for us.

 

Our pediatrician referred us to a child psychologist. With the psychologist, there were two parent-only intake visits, during which we discussed the issues and she assigned evaluation questionnaires for us to fill out and return. The next visit she went over the results. I think DS was present at this visit, but he was not really involved in it. He sat at a table and colored while the psych and I talked, I think. The psych went over the things that she thought she could do to help DS and wrote up a recommended treatment plan. After we got through all of this initial stuff, we met with her every week for a bit, then every other week, then occasionally as needed. Meanwhile, our pediatrician continued to discuss all of DS's issues with us (more than just anxiety) and mentioned that down the line medication might be helpful. We have not come to that point yet, but it is possible in the not-too-distant future. He will refer us to a psychiatrist if we find prescriptions are necessary. We are really working closely with the pediatrician through all of this.

[Seasider]

Thanks to all who have shared advice and personal stories. The info is much appreciated!