idnib Posted July 18, 2014 Share Posted July 18, 2014 . Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Grantmom Posted July 18, 2014 Share Posted July 18, 2014 I am so sorry you are going through this. Prayers and positive energy for a full recovery for all of you. I definitely second getting legal counsel before you do anything. Hugs to your family and to all involved! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Colleen in NS Posted July 18, 2014 Share Posted July 18, 2014 I'm so sorry to hear about your accident. I hope you two recover well and that you don't go insane in trying to figure out the insurance stuff. Hugs!! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Carol in Cal. Posted July 18, 2014 Share Posted July 18, 2014 That is very creepy about the other family. Ugh. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
FaithManor Posted July 18, 2014 Share Posted July 18, 2014 Nm Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
FaithManor Posted July 18, 2014 Share Posted July 18, 2014 Nm Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Cera Posted July 18, 2014 Share Posted July 18, 2014 $100,000 really won't go very far. Generally 30-40% goes to the lawyers. That means you wind up with $60,000 from that settlement. I have been in a serious accident. That amount of money doesn't go far. Your son is suffering greatly. You are suffering greatly. You should both sue to have your expenses paid (and any future expenses) as well as to have some compensation for the damage her carelessness has caused. No, you don't need to try to get rich because of this but having enough in the end to take a trip together after all the suffering so you can reconnect...that is valid. As far as expenses, think about all of them. It isn't just the tangible money you are paying out but the lost income from a year less work (if he has to take a gap year and enters the workforce a year later than he would have), the lost vacation time (that family members use to provide care and deal with this accident rather than to actually vacation), any counseling he needs, any counseling other members of your family need, time you have to devote to recovery, the lawsuit, etc (what would your hourly rate be?), a housekeeper if you need one to take over your duties while you recover or while you care for your son, etc. The cost of a serious accident is incredibly high. Much higher than most people expect. Find a good lawyer (or 3) and ask them what they think you should sue for. They will most likely recommend the maximum or close to it. You can always take a lower pay out than you are awarded but you can't go back and sue for more if you realize it wasn't enough. eta: If you are willing to post pictures I would love the opportunity to show them to my children. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
FaithManor Posted July 18, 2014 Share Posted July 18, 2014 Nm Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
idnib Posted July 18, 2014 Share Posted July 18, 2014 They are on my husband's phone but if he can download them to my tablet, I'll let you see what phenomenal engineering our toyota sienna minivan has because there is nothing left of it and yet we lived and without massive internal or head injuries. Our seats are nearly perfect! It is truly amazing and has exponentially increased my apreciation of auto engineers. Dd says the lower rate of traffic fatalities is directly attributable to engineering revolutions and greater understanding of physics. So cudos to engineers, we are alive because of you!!!! Great video demonstrating this, but don't watch it if you're not psychologically ready to see a government-style crash test! Basically the government crashed a 1959 Chevy and a 2009 Chevy into each other to demonstrate 50 years of auto safety improvement. The engineering changes to direct forces away from the passengers, the airbags, the safety glass, etc make the 2009 so much safer even though the 1959 is bigger and heavier and may feel more solid ("safer") for those reasons. In the end, the dummy in the 1959 Chevy would likely have died and the dummy in the 2009 Chevy would have a slight knee injury. https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=YHp1GAFQzto Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
swimmermom3 Posted July 18, 2014 Share Posted July 18, 2014 Don't text and drive! (((Omg, Faith)))), I don't even know what to say to that photo, but if it's okay, I know a couple of young people I'd like to share that with. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
brehon Posted July 18, 2014 Share Posted July 18, 2014 Faith, I've been thinking of you and your precious son since I first read about your MVC. I'm very glad he's home; but, I am so very angry on your behalf at what you and your dh are having to go through to get the services and equipment your son needs. I'm also glad to see your fire! I'm sure by now y'all have decided to retain an attorney. I think that is incredibly smart of you. The lawyer will know all the ins-&-outs of Michigan's laws as they relate to personal injury and insurance. If you haven't formally hired an attorney, do so quickly. It's amazing to me how fast insurance reps circle to get people to sign settlements. Someone already mentioned this, but I think it bears repeating - be careful what you or your dh say to your insurance company's rep. S/he isn't there to look after your best interests. Also, I think everyone is right that $100K won't go very far, especially with a percentage going to the attorney. Please don't feel bad about suing this other driver's insurance. That's what insurance is for - not those piddling little fender-benders. As far as your photo, the only thing I can think to say is thank goodness for crumple zones. I've had patients who lived when they wouldn't have even 10-15 years previous because of this innovation. I hope you and your ds continue to heal without lot of complications. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Terabith Posted July 19, 2014 Share Posted July 19, 2014 My husband was in a serious (but not nearly as serious as yours) accident about 2 years ago. The advice we were given was to wait. We weren't going to know what he would need until we were about a year out, and that was right. About a year after the accident we knew where we were and what he needed. If there is any way you can muddle through for now, I would advise you to do so if you can without suing, until you know more about what his long term needs will be. :grouphug: I'm so sorry. How is your son doing today? Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
swellmomma Posted July 19, 2014 Share Posted July 19, 2014 nm Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
swellmomma Posted July 19, 2014 Share Posted July 19, 2014 nm Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
CrunchyGirl Posted July 19, 2014 Share Posted July 19, 2014 Please get a lawyer first thing tomorrow. Don't say a word to the insurance company between now and then if you can possibly avoid it. You sound like a sweet and genuine person. Unfortunately the insurance company doesn't have your interests at heart. Play hard ball. For your son's sake. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
FaithManor Posted July 19, 2014 Share Posted July 19, 2014 Nm Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
melmichigan Posted July 19, 2014 Share Posted July 19, 2014 My MIL owns a home care business here in Michigan that covers nursing, and PT and OT. Get a lawyer first thing. You do not know how much it will cost to be sure your son's needs will be met in the future. $100,000 is a drop in the bucket when you are talking custom wheelchairs, ramps, therapies, etc., if his injuries are severe enough to warrant them. You won't know for 6 months to a year where he will be long term. It is illegal to text while driving in Michigan, but it only carries a measly $100 fine last I knew. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
swellmomma Posted July 19, 2014 Share Posted July 19, 2014 nm Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
melmichigan Posted July 19, 2014 Share Posted July 19, 2014 Oh, you might want to double check local dealerships regarding the van. We are small town here, but the Ford dealership offers a handicapped lift van. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
FaithManor Posted July 19, 2014 Share Posted July 19, 2014 Nm Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
wintermom Posted July 19, 2014 Share Posted July 19, 2014 Don't text and drive! It's unbelievable the things people intentionally do to distract themselves while driving. I'm so sorry that you and your son were the victims. Today I saw a lady with a dog on her lap, coffee in hand, window wide open, young boy in front passenger seat and another dog in the back seat pull out of a parking lot today. She was turning the wheel incredibly slow as she couldn't even manage the steering. I said to her through the open window, "Well that certainly doesn't look safe, does it." I really hope she altered a few things in her vehicle before getting out on the public road. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
swellmomma Posted July 19, 2014 Share Posted July 19, 2014 nm Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
brehon Posted July 19, 2014 Share Posted July 19, 2014 Oh, Faith. My heart just hurts reading about your boy's injuries and everything he/you need to accomodate him at home. Please make sure that you take care of you! Resting and healing are the best things you can do for your family right now. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
LizzyBee Posted July 19, 2014 Share Posted July 19, 2014 The other driver was updated from critical to serious yesterday. I only know this because of the very kind state trooper who tended me. Since he is the investigating officer and gets updates, he is willing to share a little. Hippa puts him in a bind, but he liks to side with me and be helpful. He's even made house calls to see how we are doing. So let me tell admit my internal struggle. We have no fault in Michigan which means our insurnace has to pay, our premiums will go up, and we are not entitled to any kind of long term settlement from our own company.Because he is a minor, our company isrequired by law to pay his medical bills related to this injury for the rest of his life IF primary medical insurance does not pay or if it does but there are deductibles or copays. But we get nothing financially for putting on a ramp, remodeling the bathroom for handicap accessibility. We don't know everything C is going to need in the future, but we are not entitled to anything but medical bills from our insurance. However, if we sue her personally, she has up to a million in personal liability from her car insurance company. I don't want to be a golddigger and I know it's not very Jesus like. I know it's not kind. But, C may need extra help when he eventually does go to college - he faces so much pt and OT this next year that he may not graduate or need a gap year - and really we can't know what all he is going to need and I feel that I need to advocate for my son, and push other considerations aside. We don't want a million...but $100,000 or so would greatly ease my mind about providing for his accomodations in the future. I agree with the others who said that $100k is not going to cover your costs for this, and you need a good lawyer, someone with a reputation for being a bulldog. There is nothing un-Jesus-like about recovering your costs and something for pain and suffering. Your costs are likely to be much more than you'd think. She has the $1mill policy for just this kind of thing, and there's nothing wrong, unChristian, or sinful with making her use it. You're not doing it out of malice, but out of a very real need that she created. Don't forget to keep track of miles driven to appointments and things like that, because just your travel costs will add up quickly, in addition to copays and coinsurance. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Terabith Posted July 19, 2014 Share Posted July 19, 2014 How are the rest of his injuries? You mentioned OT, so I am guessing there is more to it than the leg? And how are YOU? :grouphug: Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Catherine Posted July 19, 2014 Share Posted July 19, 2014 I am just seeing this for the first time. Faith, I am sooooo glad you and your son made it and will be OK. I can truly imagine what you must feel like. It will get better. And he is coming home!! That is wonderful news. I will be holding you both in my thoughts. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
FaithManor Posted July 19, 2014 Share Posted July 19, 2014 Nm Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Sebastian (a lady) Posted July 19, 2014 Share Posted July 19, 2014 deleted per request Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
MusicMama Posted July 19, 2014 Share Posted July 19, 2014 You are in our thoughts and prayers. You can do this!!! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Hikin' Mama Posted July 19, 2014 Share Posted July 19, 2014 Faith, I am so sorry to hear about your accident! You are one of the bright spots on the forums and I'm so glad you will be okay. Prayers for you and your son. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
creekland Posted July 19, 2014 Share Posted July 19, 2014 I'm super glad you have the lawyer! Yes, they get some of the $$, but IMO, in cases like this, they earn it - just as any other professional with expertise does with their job. There are some things we can do on our own and others where it's better to let someone more experienced (and/or credentialed) take over. Glad your son is doing better. How are you feeling (health-wise)? Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
PrincessMommy Posted July 19, 2014 Share Posted July 19, 2014 Oh and it gets worse. Official police report - estimated 25 mph over the speed limit, texting, NOT WEARING SEATBELT!!! Still trying not to be judgmental of that driver, but it's getting harder. Do her children wear seatbelts???? Unbelievable. wow...just wow. That is just incredibly stupid. I cannot believe an adult (parent, no less) would go without a seatbelt. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
FaithManor Posted July 19, 2014 Share Posted July 19, 2014 Nm Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
creekland Posted July 19, 2014 Share Posted July 19, 2014 Faith, it was too hard to put a "like" on that post. How life can change in an instant. The lesson is so clear - NEVER text and drive! I wish that other mother had learned it in an easier way and I feel for you and your family being the innocent party in all of this. :grouphug: But I am glad you both are alive (her too) and have tons of local and family support. May healing and recovery go well. My heart and prayers are with all of you. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
mumto2 Posted July 19, 2014 Share Posted July 19, 2014 Faith, :grouphug: Just wanted to let you know that I am still praying for healing for both of you and that all the ridiculous extra issues resolve themselves shortly. So glad you are both at home and hope you are resting more comfortably soon. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
chiguirre Posted July 19, 2014 Share Posted July 19, 2014 It will. Give yourself time to heal and listen to your MIL and dd. They've got experience and your best interests at heart. You can get through this! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
unsinkable Posted July 19, 2014 Share Posted July 19, 2014 wow...just wow. That is just incredibly stupid. I cannot believe an adult (parent, no less) would go without a seatbelt. The woman is lucky she is alive. To hit another car dead on, with no seatbelt at 70 mph? Holy cow. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
ErinE Posted July 19, 2014 Share Posted July 19, 2014 Nm. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Heathermomster Posted July 19, 2014 Share Posted July 19, 2014 I'm so sorry for your troubles. :grouphug: :grouphug: :grouphug: Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
swellmomma Posted July 19, 2014 Share Posted July 19, 2014 nm Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
idnib Posted July 19, 2014 Share Posted July 19, 2014 . Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
albeto. Posted July 19, 2014 Share Posted July 19, 2014 Glad to hear you are on the mend. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
DragonFaerie Posted July 19, 2014 Share Posted July 19, 2014 I am so sorry to read all that has happened to you and your DS. But I am also incredibly impressed with how you are handling everything. You are amazing! I saw that you have spoken to an attorney, and I am so glad that you have. Suing in a situation such as yours is exactly what that part of the legal system is for. It does NOT make you a bad person or a gold-digger or whatever. It is a means to take care of yourself and your son. I speak from experience. XDH was run over, literally, by a 32,000 pound construction forklift some years ago. We initially were not going to sue, but then we found out that the driver who ran him over, who had had several prior instances of running into things (a construction fence, oxy welding tanks, etc.) before backing over XDH, was back out on the jobsite, DRIVING THE FORKLIFT, two hours after the accident. While XDH was laying in the hospital literally torn open, that guy was out driving again. That was the last straw for us, so we sued. AFAIK, that guy is not driving forklifts any more, thank goodness! The next step for him would have been to kill somebody! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
bnbacademy Posted July 19, 2014 Share Posted July 19, 2014 You... and God are simply amazing! What a pair! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Susan in TN Posted July 19, 2014 Share Posted July 19, 2014 Nm Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Twigs Posted July 19, 2014 Share Posted July 19, 2014 :grouphug: :grouphug: :grouphug: Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
OneStepAtATime Posted July 20, 2014 Share Posted July 20, 2014 (edited) Your strength is amazing. :grouphug: :grouphug: :grouphug: Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
maize Posted July 20, 2014 Share Posted July 20, 2014 Faith, I'm glad to hear you and Ds are both on the mend, though with a long road ahead. After seeing the car pictures and reading about modern safety improvements, I'm really wondering if we should look into getting a recent model van. Ours is 18 years old; I hate to think what would happen in an accident. We're very wary of debt and have never had a car loan, but if my family's lives are potentially at stake it just might be worth it... Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
brehon Posted July 20, 2014 Share Posted July 20, 2014 Faith, I'm glad to hear you and Ds are both on the mend, though with a long road ahead. After seeing the car pictures and reading about modern safety improvements, I'm really wondering if we should look into getting a recent model van. Ours is 18 years old; I hate to think what would happen in an accident. We're very wary of debt and have never had a car loan, but if my family's lives are potentially at stake it just might be worth it... There are good used cars & vans that incorporate more modern safety features that are very reasonably priced. I think this is one area where people like Dave Ramsey fail in their financial advice. Buying old beaters may avoid debt, but it may also be unsafe (depending, of course, on the make, model, & year of the vehicle). "Good ol' Detroit steel" killed more people because of the secondary & tertiary collisions that occur. [A secondary collision is when your body hits something external - seatbelt, steering wheel, dash, etc. A tertiary collision is where your organs slam into your musculature, cranium, spinal column, etc. The primary collision is what your car hit.] Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
FaithManor Posted July 20, 2014 Share Posted July 20, 2014 Nm Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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