What is the most important thing that your parents taught you?

[AimeeM]

I'm missing my daddy right now :P

 

I remember, growing up, my father always saying "we have food". This wasn't directed towards us (children/wife/etc) - it was directed towards anyone and everyone else in need. When he said it, the context was "we may not have money to loan you, but if you're in need of a meal, we will always feed you"... and, boy, did he mean it! Lol. I didn't always appreciate the sentiment, growing up; I remember walking out some mornings, scantily clad in underwear and a t-shirt (summer months, no central AC!), into the kitchen for a drink, only to find his shop help (he owned a heavy equipment shop) at the dining room table... or someone else, some of whom I didn't know. I learned quickly the value of a robe :lol: .

Nobody went hungry on his watch - not his staff, not random people he met at the bar, not the random drug addict on the corner. He always cooked for a crowd, because "you never who will show up and need/want to eat".

 

He is the kindest man I know. He has his demons (alcoholism, foster care, orphanages, some runs ins with law enforcement as a very young man, etc), but he was always a warm, sincere, affectionate, compassionate, generous man - to absolutely everyone. It was to his detriment, at times, running a small business (he considered every man good to his word, and would often do work for them with a "promise to pay" <---- we can guess how that went, at times), but he never, ever, lost his general faith in humanity. It wasn't abnormal for him to barter his services for someone who couldn't afford them. I remember clearly the Tree Man, who would get rid of dead trees for us, in exchange for work on his machines.

 

Anyway, that one saying has always stuck with me - "we have food". I'm not quite as trusting as he was, and do not invite known addicts into my home, or strangers, but I enjoy taking plates of food to/buying food for places where I know the homeless tend to stay - the difference is that I go to them, instead of inviting them home, lol.

 

It came to mind when I found out that our beloved trainer (private dog trainer for the pup; formerly our GSD's trainer) has been going without some meals because her own much loved service dog (she's epileptic) keeps bloating and she pays his vet bill instead. I wanted to say "we have food" - but I've come to the realization that some people consider it odd to have you randomly invite them over for meals, should you need it :crying: . I'm not sure if it's the times... or the area... of maybe my father was just an odd duck (said affectionately!).

 

Is there anything your parents did, or said, that has stuck with you as "important"?

[Robin M]

With my mom, it was 'we always have choices' which pretty much meant take responsibility for your decisions and never blame anyone else if it goes bad.   My dad taught us to think logical, always think things through and make the right decision.  Plus they gave us unconditional love, that no matter what they'd always be there. 

[Vida Winter]

My father always visited sick friends in the hospital. I have to force myself sometimes because I tend to be reluctant but when it is appropriate to visit, I do.

 

eta: I miss my dad too.

[Dory]

My parents taught me to push through tough stuff. Even when I think I can't possibly make it through. Growing up with them taught me how to watch people and choose my words carefully depending on the body language of the person. I learned how to barter from my mom. Those are probably the best lessons I learned from them that come to mind anyway.

[JustEm]

To always forgive my siblings

[MiMi 4under3]

The sentiment in my household growing up was "Where there's a will, there's a way!" It came from both mom and dad.

 

I was brought up to be "capable" and to not let obstacles stand in my way.

[Ethel Mertz]

I miss my parents. I remember two things my Mom said: (1) Bloom where you are planted. (2) Know your limitations. From my Dad, I inherited an affinity for puns and practical jokes.

[Aelwydd]

My parents taught me basically to argue and debate. :boxing_smiley:  :banghead:   :bigear:   :cheers2: 
 

LOL.

 

( In turn, that forced me to think for myself and form my own reasons. )

[Liz CA]

Don't talk too much about yourself. If you are good at something, others will tell you.

[Caroline]

My parents taught (and still teach) me to give. I've told this story before. My dad worked in Washington, DC. When he would get a new winter coat, he would take his old one and leave it with one of the many homeless people he saw on his way to work. He would always tuck $50 in the pocket. On my way to work, I go under an overpass where homeless people hang out. This winter was a rough one here. I left many blankets with money tucked in them at the overpass.

 

My mom taught at an HBCU in inner city Baltimore. The area of the city was so bad that you couldn't get pizza delivered there. My mom's students were often from the surrounding neighborhoods. She often brought students home for dinner. (Kind of like Aimee's dad.) Or she would take groceries in for her students. Or buy their books. I have fed many of my students over the past seven years that I have worked in an urban, poverty-stricken school.

[texasmama]

My mother sought out difficult people to bestow kindness upon.  She said, "Everyone deserves to have a friend."  She was also wickedly funny and always up for an adventure.

 

My dad taught me to look at everything with an engineer's eye.

 

My mother gave me the gift of kindness.  My father gave me the gift of practicality.  Both have been immeasurably useful, and these two gifts dovetail nicely.

[swellmomma]

trying to think of anything that really stands out and there is nothing they said often that was good haha, mom used to always say "momma didn't raise no fools" which I typically disagreed with while pointing to my siblings.

The main thing they taught me without saying anything was to work hard and earn what you have. Specifically my dad taught me that there is no job beneath you when you have a family to provide for.  When the company he worked for had major lay offs during the recession in the 80s my dad drove taxi, delivered newspapers etc.  I remember helping him count the change at the end of a night of taxi driving and then he would divy up allowance for us kids from that money.  While he did that he got more training so that he could get into a better job and move up the ranks, which he did...he is now vice president of operations at his company. Mom worked at a convenience store until she decided to go back to high school when I was 9 which got her a job as a secretary, which she did while attending night school and now she runs the company.  We didn't have much when I was a kid...they were doing much better with my brother financially.  But they did what was necessary to keep us fed.  I have done the same with my family.  

[Anne in CA]

My parents taught me about doing things I don't want to do with a smile. 

[momto10blessings]

My dad taught us "You can't control how other people act, only how you react"~ his favorite saying. He also taught us generosity. He was the most giving man I know.

 

My mom taught us frugality. Never pay full price!

[kewb]

My mom taught me:

Always go to the bathroom before you leave the house.

Bring your coat; how much can it eat?

 

My dad taught me:

Driving is a privilege, not a right.

Being right doesn't do you any good if you are dead.

Why buy the cow if you can get the milk for free?

You can only drive one car at a time, yours.

[Plink]

My mom will be forever remembered for saying "everything in moderation." It doesn't matter if the subject is dating, food, or a trip to mountain climb in Nepal, she always encourages us, but reminds us to be smart about it.

 

Dad, on the other hand, will be remembered for pointing out 101 ways it is possible to die while walking to the corner store. I joke about it, but I love that he still tries to protect me.

[maize]

"Life isn't fair" was one of my mom's favorite sayings; it meant stop comparing your situation to everyone else's and get on with living your life as best you could.

[Truscifi]

"If you can't change something, change the way you look at it." If you are unhappy about something that you can change, of course change it, but if it something you have no control over, try to change your perspective. A friend says it has the effect of causing me to always look for and usually find a silver lining.

[Unicorn.]

Mom- Always put on a clean pair of underwear before you leave the house. You'll never know when you might be in an accident.

 

Dad- be prepared.  Dh used to thing I was always thinking of the negative that could happen- he finally realized I just went through the "what could happen" questions, so I could be prepared for them if they did.  

[Happy]

From my mom....go everywhere you have an opportunity to go. Travel enriches.

And...learn always. No one can take your memories and your knowledge away from you.

 

From my dad...dream big, work hard.

 

 

[solascriptura]

The most important thing that my dad taught me was to love The Lord with all my heart, soul and mind.

[jennynd]

If you don't want to do your best, then don't do it...

[ThisIsTheDay]

My mom took us to the library ALL of the time when we were little. I don't know when she began, but I was a self-taught reader by kindergarten. We were regular library-goers for many years, and my sister and I were voracious readers.

 

My dad taught us that we never needed his money to make things work out in our lives after we grew up.  Oh, he used to pass me money on the side, $50-$100 at a time, but it was when he wanted to, not because I asked for it.  He taught us to be financially responsible for ourselves, and while it sometimes was inconvenient and hard, it was a great lesson that I hope to pass on to my own kids.

 

 

Great topic!!

 

[LostSurprise]

My dad: 

 

Everything you read, everything you hear, people are always trying to convince you of something. They may not realize it. It may be so mild it doesn't seem like it. Our job is to figure out what everyone is trying to sell us, then decide if we agree or not. Don't be a passive reader (or listener). You won't notice yourself becoming what everyone else is telling you to be. 

 

and 

 

Do it right. 

 

 

My mom: 

 

Oh well. (This is her version of 'be flexible, people are who they are and we can't control that.')

[Mandylubug]

Nothing comes easy.

 

Don't buy the cheapest nor the most expensive.

 

Put some elbow grease into it.

 

Lazy person trying to cut corners does double the work.

 

Eta: I feel guilty not mentioning how devout Christian' s they are as well. They always said if you see something that needs to be done, do it. They are selfless in their service in church, to the extent of doing too much in my eyes.

[ThisIsTheDay]

The most important thing that my dad taught me was to love The Lord with all my heart, soul and mind.

 

I've never been one to envy anyone, ever, but I so desperately wish my parents had this love for Christ and passed it on to us.  You are SO blessed.

[HRAAB]

My dad.  What I remember most was his dedication to his family.  We always came first.  He taught me how to parent.

 

My mom.  She really enjoyed life.  She had many trials and much unhappiness when she was growing up, but my memories are always of her happy, enjoying her children and life.  She was always ready for a family dinner, picnic, vacation.  One other thing from my mom.  She would often remind me that I wasn't the only fish in the sea.  Good advice.

[momacacia]

Whether these are the most important, idk, but they are "sticky." And it's scary considering this, how these comments have impacted me without my knowing it!

 

My mom: Independence with a sprinkle of elitism about myself. Generally speaking, if the crowd is all heading in one direction--it is probably the wrong one. Is it any wonder I'm homeschooling my kids classically? :001_rolleyes: Comparison is irrelevant. Do your very best at whatever it is, and that is enough.

 

My dad: Learn to speak and write well and you'll always have job. Is it any wonder I ended up in law? :001_rolleyes:

[Alicia64]

My parents and I aren't close, but I have a good work ethic because I saw them get up and go to work every single day of their lives. I could play hooky from school knowing without a doubt that they wouldn't be home until 5:30 in my mom's case, 6:00 in my dad's.

 

Also, this is small but significant: my mom was super good about scheduling her life into her calendar. While my dad kept really strict "to do" lists. When I grew up I was stunned to meet people who didn't use a calendar and/or a to do list.

 

Alley

[Tap]

Mom: "family takes care of family." Her philosophy is that you take better care of someone if you love them, then some random stranger off the street would take care of them.  She cared for her FIL, Brother, Sister, Husband (my father), Mother and Father until they died (4 of the 6 died in her own home, the other two in the hospital).  (btw......dd7 is biologically my great-niece)

 

 

Dad: My dad was creative and tried to find solutions to problems.  I am like him in that regard.  He never put down a girls effort or value in doing a good job.  I grew up thinking that a girl will do things differently than a man, but that doesn't mean it is any less valuable of a solution.  ie a girl my hang a shelf at a different height than a man would but that doesn't mean it was 'stupid or wrong'.  It just means that it makes more sense to her to have it where she put it.  

 

 

 

 

[solascriptura]

I've never been one to envy anyone, ever, but I so desperately wish my parents had this love for Christ and passed it on to us. You are SO blessed.

Absolutely. My parents, witness has been the ultimate witness in my life and the lives of my siblings and all of their grand kids. They have shown me what it means to live out your faith and their prayers have touched souls and the heavens.

 

"The prayers of a righteous man is powerful and effective." James 5:16

 

I'm not saying this to brag, but to encourage all believers to raise their kids in the way of The Lord, even when it is difficult and thankless.

[SKL]

Not that my parents didn't tell me anything useful, but most importantly, they let me learn things through the school of hard knocks.  I was out in the world at a young age, most waking hours that I wasn't in school.  I didn't always make the right choice the first time, but I sure learned from my mistakes.  ;)

 

Some words of my parents that I think of still or that I say to my kids:

 

• You can count your true friends on the fingers of one hand.  (mom)
• People are more important than things.  (dad)
• Honesty is really important.  (both)
• God doesn't make junk.  (dad)
• Darken every doorstep until you have a job.  (mom)
• Sometimes smart isn't so smart.  (dad - a gentle reminder to consider the effects of words before speaking.)
• Don't waste.  (mom)

[fdrinca]

My dad has all of these silly sayings that we call his "bad math advice." Stuff like: "when you give up a basket in basketball, you've lost four points -the two you should have had, and the two you gave your opponent." Also: "you're late if you're on time."

 

I tell my kids the second one all the time. Punctuality is a learned habit from my father, and I'm thankful for it.

[MomtoCandJ]

Always be prepared (both)

[ErinE]

My father insisted on family meetings and listened to his children's thoughts and feelings. He may not be the best father or grandfather now, but I will always love him for making sure his children knew they were loved and respected growing up.

 

My mother had a "no questions asked" policy. If I was ever in trouble, I could ask for help, no questions asked.

[J-rap]

Golly, so many things.  Mostly it boils down to:

 

Find something positive in every situation.

 

Watch out for the underdog.  (As in, be ready to stick up for those around you.)

 

Don't overcomplicate things.

 

Don't judge.

 

Be honest.

 

 

[AK_Mom4]

Black bears are more dangerous than brown ones.

 

Don't mess with moose. Ever.

 

You can eat just about anything with ketchup, but not mink (weasel-type things). No sauce on earth can hide that flavor. Ghastly!

 

 

I had a bit of a rustic childhood.

[1GirlTwinBoys]

The main thing my parents taught me was to love the Lord and honor him with my tithes and the way I live my life.

 

They taught me the importance of paying all of my bills on time.  They REALLY stressed this as an important character trait to have.  Because of that, I've had credit since since I was 18 years old and have NEVER paid anything even a day late.  My husband is the same way ,and because of this, we both have very high credit scores and have been able to accomplish things we may not have been able to with just average credit scores.  

 

They also taught me the importance of being an honest person.  If you say you're going to do something or be somewhere, then you should keep your word in promises that you make.

 

I hope to instill these qualities in my own children.  

 

ETA:  I realize families fall into difficult situations and can't pay their bills sometimes.  There are some people though that just don't care if they pay things late and buy things they know they can't afford or shouldn't buy.  That's what my parents were referring to.  

 

 

[AimeeM]

Golly, so many things.  Mostly it boils down to:

 

Find something positive in every situation.

 

Watch out for the underdog.  (As in, be ready to stick up for those around you.)

 

Don't overcomplicate things.

 

Don't judge.

 

Be honest.

Highlighted is my husband's favorite thing to say :P Well, any variation of that - "keep it simple, stupid", "don't overcomplicate it".

"Any intelligent fool can make things bigger, more complex, and more violent. It takes a touch of genius -- and a lot of courage -- to move in the opposite direction."