Preschool taught by husband and wife... how would you feel?

[Janie Grace]

I have never had a child go to preschool but I'm considering it for my youngest (age 4), to give me some more focused homeschooling time with my bigger kids. I just noticed a sign for a new preschool opening on my street, run out of a home. It's *so* close, and seems affordable. The website looks pretty standard (circle time, read-alouds, outdoor play, etc), and of course I'd have to visit to see if the "feel" of it is a fit. But here's the thing... it's run by a husband and wife. Maybe it's sexist of me, but I feel a bit nervous about having a male as one of the teachers (I know I might get flamed for that). And also the fact that they're married... I know that in terms of the guidelines we have in place for our children's ministry at church, there needs to be an additional adult present if a husband/wife team are serving because the risk of collusion. 

 

Am I being paranoid? Would it seem weird to you that a young man would be running a preschool with his wife? Would it be a deal breaker for you?

[regentrude]

I would find it positive, especially for boys. One of the big problems with early childhood/elementary education is that almost all teachers are females, which is the cause of many issues for boys in schools, and of a lack of role models.

Many in home daycare situations have only a single caregiver; so I don't think a couple would be in any way worse.

No flames, but I am very much saddened that a male teacher is automatically suspected of bad intentions before he has even been met.

 

[Trish]

Well, I would want a non-relative involved. If someone's up to no good, the spouse wouldn't be as big a deterrent as a non-relative.

[aggieamy]

As someone who works with their husband and thinks they are the coolest guy ever ... I like the idea.  For the two of them to do a preschool together they must have similar passions for children and early children's education.  If it was reasonable and convenient I would be all over it.  I really wish I had something like that down the street from me.  

[Miss Mousie]

I would find it positive, especially for boys. One of the big problems with early childhood/elementary education is that almost all teachers are females, which is the cause of many issues for boys in schools, and of a lack of role models.

 

 

I agree completely.  My son's entire educational landscape could have been so much better if he'd had more opportunities to work with male teachers in the early years. 

 

 

 

 

[Catwoman]

If you have even the slightest doubt about it, choose somewhere else. There are plenty of options and you should look around until you find the right fit for your family.

[Mrs Mungo]

I have never had a child go to preschool but I'm considering it for my youngest (age 4), to give me some more focused homeschooling time with my bigger kids. I just noticed a sign for a new preschool opening on my street, run out of a home. It's *so* close, and seems affordable. The website looks pretty standard (circle time, read-alouds, outdoor play, etc), and of course I'd have to visit to see if the "feel" of it is a fit. But here's the thing... it's run by a husband and wife. Maybe it's sexist of me, but I feel a bit nervous about having a male as one of the teachers (I know I might get flamed for that). And also the fact that they're married... I know that in terms of the guidelines we have in place for our children's ministry at church, there needs to be an additional adult present if a husband/wife team are serving because the risk of collusion.

I wouldn't have a problem with a male being a preschool teacher. I do agree that child protection guidelines (for scouts, for our church, etc) usually require at least one unrelated adult present at all times. So, that would bother me.

[Mergath]

Wouldn't bother me at all. If it's going to be a problem for you, at least meet them first and see if either one sets off your creepdar.

[Janie Grace]

This is so encouraging. I thought everyone would freak out and say "over my dead body."

 

[Catwoman]

This is so encouraging. I thought everyone would freak out and say "over my dead body."

:lol: :lol: :lol: :lol:

[G5052]

It wouldn't bother me, but the new preschool aspect would.  I'm one who always wants to know the history from a variety of people.  When we picked our piano teacher, I asked for references, but I also called people that I knew weren't taking from her any longer.  It turned out that those not taking from her stopped because they were tired of piano, not because of anything about her.  I really couldn't find anything negative at all other than perhaps location (not convenient to anything else, but that's OK).

 

If I couldn't do that type of research, I wouldn't sign up.

[Janie Grace]

I wouldn't have a problem with a male being a preschool teacher. I do agree that child protection guidelines (for scouts, for our church, etc) usually require at least one unrelated adult present at all times. So, that would bother me.

So, you're saying it would bother you that it's just the two of them?

[Mrs Mungo]

So, you're saying it would bother you that it's just the two of them?

Yes. Would it preclude me entirely from making use of the preschool? I don't know.

 

But, it would bother me because I have spent so many years in volunteer positions for youth organizations and the requirements are so set into my mind.

 

Two of my kids attended preschool. It was about a block from my house. But, it was at an actual school. They had male and female teachers.

 

I would also wonder whether or not it was really just daycare. Do they have qualifications? Are they using a particular philosophy? How did the idea for a preschool in their home come about?

[ErinE]

A child care center near our home had a man as the administrator. He and his wife were the owners. I investigated it when DD was younger as I was considering returning to work full-time. His gender wasn't a concern.

[Truscifi]

Ds10's Montessori pre/early elem. school was run by a husband and wife team. Then she left to teach in Honduras for 2 years, so it was just the husband. They always had 2 non relative support staff there as well though. I think just the practical side of it would require at least one extra person to have enough eyes to watch all the kids if it is more than a small group.

 

To be honest, the male teacher was one of the best I have ever seen. He is amazing with children. If they hadn't decided to close the school I would probably be trying to convince them to extend to older grades so he could still teach ds. He is currently teaching high school and I continue to hear wonderful things about him.

 

ETA- To answer your actual questions:

Am I being paranoid? About the gender issue, maybe.

Would it seem weird to you that a young man would be running a preschool with his wife? No, but it would seem weird to me if it were just the two of them because it seems they would need more than two people to be able to deal with any issues that come up and actually educate kids.

Would it be a deal breaker for you? No.

[Catwoman]

So, you're saying it would bother you that it's just the two of them?

I was just thinking -- the "brand new" aspect might concern me. Have you spoken with the owners and asked about their qualifications, or if they own other preschools in other locations?

[Truscifi]

So, you're saying it would bother you that it's just the two of them?

 

Are you sure it is just the two of them? No support staff? Yes, that would give me pause.

[zoobie]

I wouldn't rule out a school run by a husband-wife team, but one with just them and out of their home and brand new? That would be one too many potential issues for me.

 

We went to a Montessori school that was run by a woman and her sister and mother. They hired the other sister and her random internet-found boyfriend. Not because he was qualified, but because he needed a job to move here. It was too nepotistic. They made decisions based on what was best for them, not the kids. After we got the heck out of there, I have been wary of any for-profit school with no oversight of the teachers. This husband-wife team, the preschool presumably will be their only source of income and all profit will be theirs. Will they make decisions on what's best for the kids or their bottom line? That plus zero oversight would make it a really tough sell for me.

[Annie]

(Note, I'm firmly NOT in the French are the best parents, and if we were all more like them our children would never have tantrums and happily eat foie gras camp.)

 

We lived in Paris for part of last year, and one of the most refreshing things I saw were little preschool classes walking around the city lead by a fairly even mix of male and female teachers. You could tell how much the boys especially liked running around with them at the playground. It was so nice to see men in their young twenties engaging with the kids and giving them another positive role model.

 

That isn't to say I would be 100% comfortable in your situation. The fact that it's a new preschool and that they're husband and wife would give me pause. I would meet them and see the vibe you get.

[FaithManor]

I think a male teacher is a wonderful idea. I hate the idea that a man is automatically suspect and especially so since my husband is very gifted in teaching. Thankfully, he can be a 4-H leader and is men are very much encouraged to be involved. We have a two deep minimum adult policy and since we are related, we always have one of the other parents on hand to help. So, if they have an aide that isn't related, I think it's great. For their own protection in a litigious society, they should have one more adult and follow all of the state guidelines.

 

Since it is a new preschool, I do advise an interview session and possibly observing a few class sessions. Any new establishment that does not have a proven reputation should be properly vetted. Also, find out what the written policy is for potty issues, clothes changing, etc. That said, again, I do not automatically assume men are bad...it's just not a mindset that I have so I can't relate personally to be uber cautious due to that aspect.

 

 

[Luanne]

The first day care center I worked for was opened and ran by a couple.  It is still the best day care center in town.  It has three different locations now and serves children from 6 weeks up to age 15 (teen camp in the summer time).  The husband isn't directly involved with the children anymore, but it is by far the most successful locally owned day care in town.

[Catwoman]

Are you sure it is just the two of them? No support staff? Yes, that would give me pause.

It also makes it sound more like a daycare center than a preschool.

 

I would definitely ask for and verify their qualifications and references.

[Lanny]

In the situation you described (new school, no other adults there), I would not go for that.

 

Just before DD was 3, at the very last minute, we totally astonished ourselves and enrolled her in a wonderful preschool. She was ready, at that time, and we sent her off to school every morning, with her car seat, when the van picked her up. Our Pediatrician had sent his kids there. They had 1 or 2 male teachers, who came in, one or 2 days a week, to teach Art and/or Music. I can't remember which subject. DD was there for 2 school years and she learned an incredible amount of things there.  All of their teachers are university graduates in pre school, so they are well qualified.

 

Then, we enrolled her in the private school ($$$$$) where in the pre primary section, they have K4, K5 and First grade.  There was one classroom, I believe in K4 or K5, where the Teachers Assistant was a man.  I was surprised when I found that out. I believe he was a graduate of that school and I certainly believe and assume that they checked him out, extremely thoroughly, before placing him to work there.  DD was in another classroom. In that context, I think it could be very positive, to have males involved.

 

 

 

 

[OneStepAtATime]

No issue with a male as instructor, not really an issue with husband and wife as instructor if it is an established day school with a track record.  But with no track record, I would be leery since you do not know them, right?  I would attempt to get to know them first, find out if they have ever done anything like this before, do the research.  Even if nothing nefarious is going on, running a day school is challenging.  If they have no experience, they may not handle stress well.  There could also be health and safety issues.  Think about trying to teach several 4 year olds at once...close your eyes and visualize how challenging that can be.  Do they have children of their own?  Have they really had any experience with a lot of little 4 year olds?

 

My DD had a great program with two very experienced teachers for a couple of times a week, 2 hours at a time 2k program and she had a lot of fun, made some great friends, etc.  The teachers were wonderful and we stay in contact.  But then the teachers for the next year were awful, no organizational skills, no experience running a day school class for little ones and when they got stressed and behind they would yell and belittle and cut down the kids.  They weren't evil, they just didn't know how to handle a lot of little kids all at once and would over react.  I had to involve the Director of the school and start attending the classroom upon occasion to keep an eye on things, but they did try harder once I clearly laid out my complaints and made them aware that I and other parents were watching.  I would have pulled her but she didn't want to leave her friends.  They did not teach the next year.

[Chris in VA]

ITA with Mrs. Mungo--check to see if it's preschool or daycare. That would be why I'd hesitate.

I'd also ask for references and CHECK THEM.

 

If it all passed, I would grill them pretty heavily (in a polite way), asking about emergencies, sick days (if they are sick), sick policies for the kids, etc. I'd also ask them about their educational philosophy, their own education, and give them hypothetical situations as part of the interview process. I'd ask about art methods, early literacy, fine and gross motor activities, discipline techniques, etc.

 

In short, the maleness wouldn't bother me. The home daycare aspect would give me pause. But I'd check it out.

[abba12]

The male teacher would be a POSITIVE for me, not a negative.

 

But I absolutely wouldn't use it without an unrelated 3rd staff member.

 

Pedophiles are often married men, and the abuse and mental manipulation they use means that they can and often do get their wives to a point where they can abuse children almost in front of them without the wife saying anything (Finding a Healing Place is a blog about an ex-pastor pedophiles ex-wife, and her realization that she enabled him to abuse children for decades without ever stepping in or even realizing, consciously, what was happening. Very interesting read)

 

So, male teachers, yes, but not a husband/wife only team, it's just not safe. If there is abuse of any kind, sexual or otherwise (and some daycare/preschool workers are actually very horrible people, there are horror stories everywhere) there's simply no system to alert parents or protect the kids at all.

[mathmarm]

I let an older married couple who I trust very much watch my son during the day. Then again, they are his grandparents and slaves to his every whim, lol.

 

But seriously, I don't have a problem with a male teacher in the elementary years. Actually, I think it is a fantastic plus for young boys to have a male figure encouraging growth and development in a positive way--especially in those early years.  I would put this day care on the list just like all the others and evaluate them all based on whatever factors are important to me. I would bring up the issue of them being married/scandal/abuse during the interview. I would have to judge each one carefully.

[catz]

I'd run a background check on them and look for references (as I would for any private early childcare program). They may have gone through background checks already to get state licensing. I get more twitchy about new programs, than about male teachers. I actually love when I can find male teachers for my son. He has a male piano teacher, voice teacher, he's currently at a theater class taught by a man working as a professional, on stage actor.

[Joker]

I have zero problems with male teachers but I wouldn't send my dds to a school run only by a married couple. I would want to ensure there would be other non related adults present.

[Cricket]

My parents taught in a one-room school house after they were first married.  They were the only adults there and still have contact with former students.  I think I'd still want another non-related adult there though, especially for just preschool kids.

[Mergath]

For all of you who would want there to be another unrelated adult in the room, would you still feel that way if it was just the woman?  I know many home daycares staffed by just one woman, and no one ever says they'd never use those without an unrelated adult there.  Or if you use a babysitter, do you require another unrelated teen to be present?

[crazyforlatin]

A male teacher would not bother me at all but would actually be better for some kids such as DD. What would bother me is the lack of reviews, but I'm so used to looking at reviews here, amazon, yelp, and other places. Are they providing references, background checks, etc?

[abba12]

For all of you who would want there to be another unrelated adult in the room, would you still feel that way if it was just the woman?  I know many home daycares staffed by just one woman, and no one ever says they'd never use those without an unrelated adult there.  Or if you use a babysitter, do you require another unrelated teen to be present?

 

You bring up a very good point. There's a few aspects to it. We are more likely to trust women with children than men, so a lot of people who would not want a husband/wife supervising might be fine with just one woman, and absolutely against just one man. Like it or not, the stereotypes are there for a reason, a man is more likely to be a predator against a child. So I think that plays a factor, I would not trust my child to a single man, so I need to be confident the woman with him could negate the risk I perceive from him.

 

I do not let teens babysit unless I know and trust them outside of babysitting. I do not hire a babysitter professionally nor would I ever do so, the only teens who will babysit for us are girls from church who I know through their families and and aunts (note, no teenage boys) Since I assume the OP does not know the husband/wife outside of this preschool arrangement, there is no trust built on relationship, just on observation in a single environment.

 

As for home daycare, I would be very, very hesitant to ever use one for exactly that reason. I would be more likely to use one with just a woman than a husband/wife, for the above reasons regarding risk from a male, and I would never use one only run by a man. If I used a home daycare with only one woman, it would be after lots of questions and a recommendation, and perhaps even a 'sit in'.  Also, a home daycare is somewhat safer than a preschool because in the daycare parents may arrive at multiple times to pick up kids, whereas a preschool would have a single 'finish' time, so the chances of a parent walking in at 'just the wrong/right time' in a daycare are much higher.

 

So I don't think it's an illogical double standard, I do believe a married couple poses more potential risk than a single woman. Even if the woman was the same in both situations, the marriage adds a different relational dynamic and could cause a different situation (for example, I would allow my MIL to babysit without too much concern, but I no longer allow MIL and FIL to babysit together because I know when FIL is there, MIL will no longer be 'in control' of the situation and I do not trust him). but even so, both situations are less than preferable and if I ever had to use daycare I think I would move towards a larger private establishment, eg 10-20 kids, 2-3 teachers rather than 1 teacher to 5ish kids.

[TechWife]

I would not even consider it due to the absolute lack of accountability. These are just the cases where the perpetrator  got caught and made national news. 

 

http://www.smh.com.au/nsw/man-arrested-for-sex-abuse-of-child-at-wifes-day-care-centre-20140110-30ly8.html

 

http://www.10news.com/news/husband-wife-convicted-of-daycare-abuse-sentenced

 

http://www.bostonglobe.com/metro/2013/09/07/years-warning-signs-preceded-wakefield-child-care-worker-arrest-child-abuse-charges/grYEkWQZkKQe4ZV4vam3OP/story.html

 

http://www.gazette.net/article/20130425/NEWS/130429351/0/gazette&template=gazette

 

http://www.pennlive.com/midstate/index.ssf/2012/09/perry_county_husband_wife_accu.html

 

 

 

 

 

[quelle.que.soit]

I would want to know their qualifications and what references they have from previous work.  Everybody has to start somewhere, and I would be happy to support a new business.  I would likely want at least one of the parents to be fairly experienced.

 

I would follow my gut instinct as to whether or not I was comfortable with them as people when I met with them.  Prejudging the situation without meeting them seems a bit strange to me.  If you feel uncomfortable not even knowing them at all, it's probably not for you...

 

I also usually find I get what I expect from most situations.  If I expect them to turn out well, they do.  If not, not.

[kubiac]

My older went to a 0-3 daycare just like that and we loved it. And DS-almost-4 is currently at a Montessori where the husband is the school director and the wife is the head teacher. It's always given us a lot of reassurance and comfort, really, just the feeling of it being a balanced, stable, long-term family operation.

 

FWIW, my son ADORED the dad caregiver at the daycare and only semi-tolerated the mom. (The dad caregiver grew up in the daycare, which his mom had run for 25 years, and after spending most of his adulthood working in the hotel business, he and his wife took the daycare over with his wife when they got married and started having their own kids. The wife had been a live-in nanny for many years.) Anyway, my son just loved having a nurturing father figure and always wanted to be carried by the dad. And the mom was so tough and saucy that I never thought for a second that she would be colluding with him on anything. She'd be first in line to cut someone's nuts off (can I say that on here?) if there was even the slightest hint of harm to a child.

[Joker]

For all of you who would want there to be another unrelated adult in the room, would you still feel that way if it was just the woman?  I know many home daycares staffed by just one woman, and no one ever says they'd never use those without an unrelated adult there.  Or if you use a babysitter, do you require another unrelated teen to be present?

 

We've only ever had one person watch our dds who wasn't family. We knew her and her family for years before she started babysitting for us, though.

[redsquirrel]

I would check it out as much as any other. I wouldn't feel any different if it were two sisters or mother and daughter teaching.  I agree that the related aspect might give me pause, but not the male aspect. I would be more concerned about the 'new' part. I generally don't like my kids to be the test group for something like that. But that is just me. It could also mean they are bright eyed and bushy tailed and brimming with fantastic new ideas and lots of energy. I am none of those things any longer.

[Jackie]

(Snip)

I would also wonder whether or not it was really just daycare. Do they have qualifications? Are they using a particular philosophy? How did the idea for a preschool in their home come about?

This is more my concern. When I was searching for a part-time, play-based preschool for DD, I was much more interested in philosophy and what they actually did. I wanted a preschool that really understood the research behind play-based and provided many play-based learning opportunities, not that simply told the kids to go out to play and popped in a video periodically. Fortunately, I found a great preschool not too far from us at a price I was willing to pay.

 

My daughter's preschool has both male and female teachers and I've loved them all. It was originally started in a home by a husband/wife team, and as they grew they moved into a larger center with many teachers. They were center-based by the time my daughter started there. Having met them, I would have had no issue when it was home-based and just the two of them, either, as their parenting and teaching philosophy fits mine so well - and neither of them give me creepy vibes.

 

For the record, if you ever have to choose between myself or my husband taking care of your preschool-aged child, choose my husband. He's much better with that age than I am :)

[Trish]

I would not even consider it due to the absolute lack of accountability. These are just the cases where the perpetrator  got caught and made national news. 

 

http://www.smh.com.au/nsw/man-arrested-for-sex-abuse-of-child-at-wifes-day-care-centre-20140110-30ly8.html

 

http://www.10news.com/news/husband-wife-convicted-of-daycare-abuse-sentenced

 

http://www.bostonglobe.com/metro/2013/09/07/years-warning-signs-preceded-wakefield-child-care-worker-arrest-child-abuse-charges/grYEkWQZkKQe4ZV4vam3OP/story.html

 

http://www.gazette.net/article/20130425/NEWS/130429351/0/gazette&template=gazette

 

http://www.pennlive.com/midstate/index.ssf/2012/09/perry_county_husband_wife_accu.html

 

See, all of that is statistically unlikely. But, some families' kids BECAME those unlikely statistics. So for that reason I'd want an unrelated adult there, and probably background checks on all three. (I'd do a background check for any home daycare situation, even with references) 

 

[Meadowlark]

This could be a wonderful, amazing opportunity.

 

And it could be a horrific opportunity.

 

I'd take "pretty good" over odds like that. Too risky for me.

[texasmama]

I would not consider this situation for reasons which have been well-covered already.

[debi21]

The one thing I thought, which I haven't seen mentioned, is that generally in-home preschools do not make a ton of money. I am extremely skeptical that with both the husband and wife working on this enterprise, that they are going to be bringing in enough money to support their household. This in turn makes me suspicious of ulterior motives because of the seeming lack of viability of the business. Wouldn't you launch a new preschool with one spouse and maybe the other joins in after it's successful and is growing, rather than throw all your eggs in one untested basket like that? Maybe if they both have really strong educational qualifications that would indicate this is both of their passions. (I notice that the people who commented on husband and wife teams seemed to be talking about montessori programs which charge substantially more and sound more like a business than in-home).

[Mergath]

The one thing I thought, which I haven't seen mentioned, is that generally in-home preschools do not make a ton of money. I am extremely skeptical that with both the husband and wife working on this enterprise, that they are going to be bringing in enough money to support their household. This in turn makes me suspicious of ulterior motives because of the seeming lack of viability of the business. Wouldn't you launch a new preschool with one spouse and maybe the other joins in after it's successful and is growing, rather than throw all your eggs in one untested basket like that? Maybe if they both have really strong educational qualifications that would indicate this is both of their passions. (I notice that the people who commented on husband and wife teams seemed to be talking about montessori programs which charge substantially more and sound more like a business than in-home).

 

Who knows, maybe one of the two works at home, and will only be helping with the preschool sporadically?  I think everyone is reading way too much into it without many facts to go on.

[Catwoman]

Who knows, maybe one of the two works at home, and will only be helping with the preschool sporadically? I think everyone is reading way too much into it without many facts to go on.

:iagree:

 

Or maybe they just wanted to start a business that they could do together.

 

I understand the concern that it might be a glorified daycare center. I also understand the worry that it's a new business and the owners might not know what they're doing. Those things make sense.

 

But let's not assume that the guy is a child molester and his wife is an enabler who will look the other way, or even be some kind of pervert herself.

 

My best guess is that they were both out of work and needed to find a way to make money to support their family, and they decided to open a preschool. For all we know, they are both certified teachers and have always dreamed of opening their own preschool. Maybe there won't be other adults there (and right now, we don't even know if that is the case) because it's a fledgling business and they can't afford to hire more help until they have enough kids signed up, but that they plan to hire more help as soon as they get enough business.

 

Again, I understand the red flags, and I posted early in the thread that I thought JanieGrace should look elsewhere if she has any worries, but I think it's unfair to assume that this couple has ill intentions toward the children, when we have absolutely no evidence upon which to base the suspicions.

[Trish]

:iagree:

 

Or maybe they just wanted to start a business that they could do together.

 

I understand the concern that it might be a glorified daycare center. I also understand the worry that it's a new business and the owners might not know what they're doing. Those things make sense.

 

But let's not assume that the guy is a child molester and his wife is an enabler who will look the other way, or even be some kind of pervert herself.

 

My best guess is that they were both out of work and needed to find a way to make money to support their family, and they decided to open a preschool. For all we know, they are both certified teachers and have always dreamed of opening their own preschool. Maybe there won't be other adults there (and right now, we don't even know if that is the case) because it's a fledgling business and they can't afford to hire more help until they have enough kids signed up, but that they plan to hire more help as soon as they get enough business.

 

Again, I understand the red flags, and I posted early in the thread that I thought JanieGrace should look elsewhere if she has any worries, but I think it's unfair to assume that this couple has ill intentions toward the children, when we have absolutely no evidence upon which to base the suspicions.

 

You could say the same about a church group with a sole adult in charge of kids. Just because I might not be comfortable with that doesn't mean I'm ASSUMING the person is a child molester. I don't leave my kids alone with their piano instructor, either, and I make absolutely no assumptions about him, he's a great teacher. It's just the situation.

 

In the case described in the OP, I'd feel VERY comfortable avoiding this situation without making ANY assumptions whatsoever. So they're a perfectly legitimate start-up with wonderful intentions. That's great, but MY kid doesn't need to be the guinea pig. Let them get some experience (and maybe an additional staffer and/or a track record) and then maybe I'll think about it.

 

In those cases linked above, I'm sure no assumptions were made there, either. But, maybe some background checks would have turned up something and saved those parents a lot of heartache.

 

[abba12]

:coffee:

 

Or maybe they just wanted to start a business that they could do together.

 

I understand the concern that it might be a glorified daycare center. I also understand the worry that it's a new business and the owners might not know what they're doing. Those things make sense.

 

But let's not assume that the guy is a child molester and his wife is an enabler who will look the other way, or even be some kind of pervert herself.

 

My best guess is that they were both out of work and needed to find a way to make money to support their family, and they decided to open a preschool. For all we know, they are both certified teachers and have always dreamed of opening their own preschool. Maybe there won't be other adults there (and right now, we don't even know if that is the case) because it's a fledgling business and they can't afford to hire more help until they have enough kids signed up, but that they plan to hire more help as soon as they get enough business.

 

Again, I understand the red flags, and I posted early in the thread that I thought JanieGrace should look elsewhere if she has any worries, but I think it's unfair to assume that this couple has ill intentions toward the children, when we have absolutely no evidence upon which to base the suspicions.

I don't assume they're anything. Chances are, they are lovely people but there is a risk they are not, just like any situation, and it is my job as a parent to decide where benefits outweigh risks, and what risks are, well, riskier than others. I make absolutely no assumption about the people involved, but for me, this is a situation with too much risk. I also don't allow teenage boys to babysit, that doesn't mean I believe all teenage boys will be inappropriate, but it does mean that I think a teen boy is more of a risk than a teen girl. I am willing to take the risk with a girl.

 

If one thing is a 1 in 100 risk, and another is a 1 in 1000 risk, I can choose to take the latter choice without assuming the first choice was definitely going to be bad or the second choice was completely safe. Of course I don't have true statistics for this but I hope you understand my point. the first choice was 99% safe, just as this husband and wife are, more than likely, lovely people. But I'd rather take the option which is 99.9% safe.

[momto10blessings]

Well, I don't think that alone would bother me.

I'd visit though and take advantage of the fact that you are so close by mentioning how nice it is that you could just stop by at any time and see how things are going.

[Truscifi]

For all of you who would want there to be another unrelated adult in the room, would you still feel that way if it was just the woman?  I know many home daycares staffed by just one woman, and no one ever says they'd never use those without an unrelated adult there.  Or if you use a babysitter, do you require another unrelated teen to be present?

 

For me at least, it is less about having an unrelated person there and more about having a third set of hands available. If they have more than a small group of children and are trying to be an actual preschool instead of just a daycare, they need another person to help with all the distractions that are inevitable with that age group.

[Hedgehog]

I'd personally prefer to see an unrelated person working there as well, but I have no issues as such with a husband and wife working together running a preschool, or with a guy working at a preschool.  But perhaps this is because my cousin and spouse ran a preschool for many years, building an excellent reputation for themselves locally.  The husband in particular was really good at calming the kids and many a baby fell asleep snuggled up in his arms as he went about doing things with the other kids.

 

I don't want to be unrealistically positive, but at the end of the day when you set up a business like this, you have to start somewhere and maybe they don't have the resources to employ someone else right away?

 

Your choice at the end of the day - I'm not sure what I would do, except perhaps spend as much time as I could getting to know them before I made a decision.