Why DO Women Wear Make Up?

[Amy in NH]

I used to wear makeup because it make me look nicer and I was interested in and had time to do that.

 

Now that my skin has aged some, makeup doesn't make me look nicer, it makes me break out horribly.  And other things have taken a greater importance in my life anyway.

[Lady Florida.]

Make-up mimics the facial signs of arousal, hence creating attractiveness.

 

Blush and lipstick mimic blood flow to the cheeks and lips, make-up around the eyes makes them seem larger and brighter.

 

Make-up is about looking fertile, whether you are or not. It's display behavior.

 

Of course, it's so entrenched in our culture that we don't really think about that when we wear it.

 

This is why, even though we might not realize it or care to admit it.

[Alexigail]

When my boys ask questions like this, I try to steer them away from the idea that "women" do anything for one particular reason.  Lots of people (women and men) wear make-up for lots of different reasons.  Putting everyone from a certain group into a box like that isn't the best way to look at the world.   As you can see from this thread, there are a lot of different answers to the same question.  

It's the same thing as "why are women so hard to understand" or "why do women gossip so much".  It's not a fair question to begin with.

[texasmama]

When my boys ask questions like this, I try to steer them away from the idea that "women" do anything for one particular reason.  Lots of people (women and men) wear make-up for lots of different reasons.  Putting everyone from a certain group into a box like that isn't the best way to look at the world.   As you can see from this thread, there are a lot of different answers to the same question.  

It's the same thing as "why are women so hard to understand" or "why do women gossip so much".  It's not a fair question to begin with.

I agree.  To each his or her own.  :)

 

Make up is for people who want to wear make up for any reason.  That's all. 

 

When my girls have asked about make up (usually when they were little and not at the make up wearing stage yet), I tell them it is optional.

[jillian]

Because I have horrendous rosacea, complete with bumps and extreme redness. I also have more acne as an adult then I ever did as a teen. Makes me feel uncomfortable

[La Texican]

You can tell your kids I said it's because everybody likes to choose the way they look and we have many ways to do that. I'm sure they pick certain haircuts and notice that other people choose certain haircuts. My son has had mowhawks. Businessmans haircuts, high and tight haircuts. My husband sometimes wears a goatee, sometimes wears a mustache, some men wear a beard, some men shave completely. It's a way of choosing how you look. How you dress is another way of choosing how you look. Guys around here like western shirts, pressed jeans, and polished western boots if they're going out. Some guys like bling or suits to dress up some places. Women have the extra option to use makeup to choose our personal appearance. Sometimes women use makeup to look like a diva, sometimes the choose a natural color pallate, sometimes it's an extra way we can wear bold, bright colors. I almost didn't click on this link because it was too weird, but I'm glad I did. I believe in answering children's questions.

[Catwoman]

Women wear makeup because in our world women are valued more for their appearance than for anything else.

 

Which is why I won't wear make-up.

I think you may be overthinking this a little.

 

Sure, some women are a bit obsessed with their appearance, but many of us wear makeup because it's fun. We like the colors and we like experimenting with different looks, and we wear it because we like the way it makes us look -- not because we are worried about whether or not others value us for our appearance.

 

Personally, I don't care what anyone's reasons are for not wearing makeup. I don't wear it all the time, either. But I think it's unfair to make sweeping generalizations about why women do wear makeup. I know you didn't say it, but there are women who believe that only shallow, self-absorbed women wear makeup, and I find that incredibly irritating and judgmental.

 

It really isn't all about what other people think of us. Sometimes, women simply enjoy wearing makeup. No deep hidden meaning. It's just fun.

[Catwoman]

I don't wear makeup.

I don't think anyone should wear it if it isn't fun for them.

[PinkyandtheBrains.]

Make-up mimics the facial signs of arousal, hence creating attractiveness.

 

Blush and lipstick mimic blood flow to the cheeks and lips, make-up around the eyes makes them seem larger and brighter.

 

Make-up is about looking fertile, whether you are or not. It's display behavior.

 

Of course, it's so entrenched in our culture that we don't really think about that when we wear it.

This is why humans do.

 

 

I like wearing lipstick or lip stain.

[Mandylubug]

I don't wear it much but when I do my kids ask me where I'm going. Lol.. my girls have asked before. My answer is to make my face look as youthful as theirs.

[HRAAB]

My dd loves working with make up as a art.  Some of her work is pretty amazing, imo (what do I know, I don't even wear it), and her portfolio is growing.  She has one more semester of college and plans on grad school, but once she is done, she wants to study make up artistry just because loves working with it so much.

[saraha]

When my dd asked me this question, I told her, teenagers/young women wear it to look older or hide anything they feel is a flaw, older women wear it to look younger and hide anything they feel is a flaw.  She looked at me and asked "Which are you?"  :001_wub:  Love that girl

[Haiku]

We like the colors and we like experimenting with different looks, and we wear it because we like the way it makes us look -- not because we are worried about whether or not others value us for our appearance.

 

I don't think most women consciously think about it that way ("Will I be valued?"), but I think that the reason makeup has been a womanly thing in our culture absolutely is because women have traditionally been expected to be pretty. I think that any time we do something because it's part of our culture, there absolutely is deeper meaning to it. Cultural norms don't evolve in a vacuum.

[KungFuPanda]

I think women also like to look different from day-to-day. It's a quick style change. I don't wear make-up every day, but I DO wear some when I teach. It helps me make the transformation from SAH/HS Mom to Bellydance Teacher. It's like having a super power and a secret identity. Some people look A LOT different with make-up and that can be great fun even if you like your casual, make-up free look. Ask your son why he likes wearing a cape! :-)

[albeto.]

Sadie - I had no idea. That is so interesting.  :thumbup1:

 

Gil, considering your boys' ages, I'd say something simple like, "Some women like to wear make-up for the same reason they like to wear certain shoes - it's part of their look." If you want to stretch your boys' critical thinking skills, you can say something like, "There's a huge profit for companies that make cosmetics, and they work very hard at convincing women to buy their things. Some women wear make-up for fun, some wear it because they think they look better, but you and I know all women are beautiful and make-up doesn't change that." The only thing I would encourage you to refrain from doing is giggling about men who wear cosmetics. It's not uncommon in some communities for men to wear foundation, eyeliner, a little color here and there. Again, it's about fashion. Making your kids think that boys and men who do unconventional things must be gay, and gay is just pretending to be a girl (which is where you were going with the whole cross-dressing reference, right?) might prove to be awkward at best and damaging at worst if it turns out one of your boys finds he is attracted to boys as he gets older. No need to burn bridges you don't know you need, you know?

 

:)

[NASDAQ]

It's weird that a thread asking why women wear makeup turns into a bunch of people talking about how they don't, wouldn't, and disdain the entire concept.

 

I wear makeup because I haven't slept through the night in eight years and if I don't do something with my eyes, I look tired.

[Haiku]

It's weird that a thread asking why women wear makeup turns into a bunch of people talking about how they don't, wouldn't, and disdain the entire concept.

 

I think it depends on whether you are expecting a bunch of individual women to report on why they, personally, wear makeup or whether you expect a discussion of why women, in general, wear makeup. I do think you will get two different responses, and, in the case of the latter, you will get people explaining why they don't follow the cultural norm.

[MrsMommy]

Because it's fun?

[HollyDay]

I wear lipstick because at 51 my lips are very thin and pale.  A little lipstick shows that I do indeed have lips and gives a little color to my face. 

 

I don't wear anything around my eyes because I have a cornea defect that makes them VERY sensitive.  Even if I didn't need corrective lenses, I'd have to wear bandage contacts.  I don't wear mascara because my eyelashes hit against my glasses or sunglasses anyway and I dont' like the streaks on the lenses.  I should wear concealer but somehow always forget to put it on.

 

I own foundation and blush and do occasionally wear it.  Dh swears he can't tell the difference between when I wear it and when I don't.  I used to love mineral foundations that went on light with a big brush.  It was like creating on a canvas.  It was quick and easy to use and apply makeup.  Unfortunately, as I aged, my skin did not look as nice with that type of dry powder.

 

Oldest dd has foundation and concealer she purchses from the dermatologist.  She does wear it occasionally to conceal acne when she dresses up.  But, it is a foundation that can only be purchased from a derm and is made for acne skin. 

 

I know a few ladies with vitiligo that use makeup to cover areas where there is no pigment. 

[HRAAB]

It's weird that a thread asking why women wear makeup turns into a bunch of people talking about how they don't, wouldn't, and disdain the entire concept.

 

I wear makeup because I haven't slept through the night in eight years and if I don't do something with my eyes, I look tired.

 

Because I'm a woman.  I used to wear make-up every day.  Now I don't.  And I have an opinion.

[PeacefulChaos]

I wear makeup for the same reason I wear certain earrings or shoes or have certain tattoos. 

Because I want to.  Because I like it.  I think it's fun. 

I'm just as comfortable without makeup as I am with it.  But life is so much more fun in color, and for me that means what I wear, how I fix my hair (or dye it), and how i decide to look every day. 

Other people?  I don't know what they think, nor do I care.  :)  And I'm sure everyone has their reasons for doing what they do, too.

 

 

 

Ok, and I just have to... can we have a quick shout out for guyliner?  While I don't know anyone IRL who wears it or could pull it off, good Lord, some (my personal favorite here) of these guys do...

[shanvan]

Umm ... to look better?  Less tired??  Less old???  I've worn make up since the day I could sneak out of the house with it.  I don't feel dressed without it.  I don't wear a lot and nothing dramatic, but whenever I don't, everyone asks me if I am feeling OK.  Without it, I look pale and worn out.

 

Who really cares anyway?  What is the big deal?   Most of my friends don't wear make up (too crunchy for it, I guess) and I'm cool with it.  They only comment when they see me without (see above.) 

Yup.  Look up 'allergic shiners' and you'll see why some women wear make up.  I feel like we've had this discussion very recently.

[Moxie]

I don't.

 

My almost 80 year old parents are SCANDALIZED!!!!! To them, "forgetting to put on your lipstick before you leave the house" is a sign of insanity, or at least extreme laziness. Only a very low class person would do something like that.

 

My mother is a three time cancer survivor. I am aware of all the toxins she exposes herself to every time she "puts on her face", as well as how much money she spends, but it would be extremely cruel for me to cut her off or force her to go against such a deeply ingrained habit.

 

My daughters wear the stuff. I have no idea why and I wish they would drink or get arrested for shoplifting instead. I thought I raised them better than that, the same way my parents think they raised me better than to open the door to the UPS man without slathering myself with lead and toxic chemicals first.

 

The easy way out would be to say "women are weird" but I hope you empower your sons to follow in Laura (MyThreeSons)'s DH's footsteps instead.

Are you being serious?? You'd rather have them shoplifting?!?!

[Guest]

I don't think most women consciously think about it that way ("Will I be valued?"), but I think that the reason makeup has been a womanly thing in our culture absolutely is because women have traditionally been expected to be pretty. I think that any time we do something because it's part of our culture, there absolutely is deeper meaning to it. Cultural norms don't evolve in a vacuum.

I agree with this, however, I don't see the point in resisting a particular grooming behavior because it has become a cultural norm. Humans are social creatures (as opposed to solitary) and all humans care to some extent or another if they are accepted by other humans. It is adaptive. Unless you are a sociopath, you care at least some about social acceptance. It's the reason I have more than one pair of shoes; for that matter, it's why there's even a concept called "shoes." If all I wanted to do was keep my feet dry, I could put plastic bags on them. I don't, though, because shoes are culturally normal and foot-bags are not.

[Aelwydd]

My question--in the rest of the animal kingdom, it is the male that needs to put on the show to attract a mate. Why are humans the opposite??

 

To answer the OP--I wear make-up because it is fun and it makes me look better. I have small facial features--make-up brings them out and helps me look lively.

JMO - it's because in the animal kingdom, mating does not involve a social construct where bred females must be maintained indefinitely and where she remains dependent upon him for food, protection, and shelter.

 

In nature, females may generally still be able to hunt for food and provide for offspring. The males are not really offering much beyond stud services, and so because she can choose at her leisure, males need to be that much more attractive.

 

With humans, mating encompasses so much more, including the social and legal reality that for much of history, marriage was a financial arrangement. Women were considered property to be maintained, since their participation in public affairs was greatly limited. They were raised to be dependent on men for their subsistence. In short, women needed men more than men needed women.

 

So, women donned the more colorful appearances in order to capture and hopefully keep men's attention.

[MomatHWTK]

Well ladies we should consider ourselves lucky that our social norm is 'just' make-up.  In some cultures, young girls place rings around their neck to elongate it.  The elongation is so extreme that at a certain point they can no longer support their heads without the rings.  In other cultures, increasing large discs are placed in the ears or lips to create large holes that then carry a disc for adornment.  Not sure if it applies to both males and females but in at least one culture their decorated and socially conforming marking are created but cutting the skin and placing ash in the wound to create permanent scars. Like a tatoo but I'm assuming WAY more painful.    :huh:

[msjones]

I like to wear outfits that are flattering and stylish.  I like to wear heels, fix my hair, choose some jewelry and a bag that perk up my day.  And I like to wear some mascara and lip gloss and eye shadow for the same reason.  I love a little color, a little shine, a little bit of pretty here and there throughout my day.

 

I feel better when I'm put together.  And I know I look better.  I feel good when I look my best.  

 

 

[texasmama]

Please add to my list of why I wear make up the fact that my eyebrows went south for the winter about 10 years ago and never returned.  It's not a great look for me.

[regentrude]

Well ladies we should consider ourselves lucky that our social norm is 'just' make-up.  In some cultures, young girls place rings around their neck to elongate it.  The elongation is so extreme that at a certain point they can no longer support their heads without the rings.  In other cultures, increasing large discs are placed in the ears or lips to create large holes that then carry a disc for adornment. 

 

On the other hand, our cultural norm for female adornment also includes devices on female's feet that prevent natural walking, cause injuries, permanent deformations, and nerve damage: high heels.

 

[Brilliant]

It's weird that a thread asking why women wear makeup turns into a bunch of people talking about how they don't, wouldn't, and disdain the entire concept.

 

...

 

This thread hasn't been bad as I expected.  We've had some doozies in the past - those in the makeup camp ascribing slovenliness to those who don't wear it, and those in the no-makeup camp ascribing shallowness to those who do wear it.  I don't understand why it's a high-emotion topic. 

[texasmama]

This thread hasn't been bad as I expected.  We've had some doozies in the past - those in the makeup camp ascribing slovenliness to those who don't wear it, and those in the no-makeup camp ascribing shallowness to those who do wear it.  I don't understand why it's a high-emotion topic. 

I don't, either.

 

Honestly, I barely notice what other people do in the realm of make up.  Things have to be very obvious in order to get my attention.  (bright blue eye shadow up to one's eyebrows or something)  I just do what I want and figure that everyone else is doing the same.

[Haiku]

I agree with this, however, I don't see the point in resisting a particular grooming behavior because it has become a cultural norm.

 

Well, I sure do. Remember how everyone was all up in arms when flappers started cutting their hair short in the 20's? Women were supposed to have long hair. It was a cultural norm. Now, no one bats an eye when they see a woman with short hair. Social change only happens when people buck the norms. I, for one, am grateful for all the women throughout the ages who bucked the cultural norm and gave women the choices we have today. I'm happy to do my part.

 

I don't care whether other women wear makeup. My best friend wears a ton. I, however, don't want to, and I'm not going to do it just because I "should."

[WishboneDawn]

The above is why I wear it.

 

Now I have a few extra issues maybe other people don't have. When I was young I was considered unattractive by pretty much everyone who knew me. My hair was always a tangled mess because my mother had odd issues about grooming and thought that if you groomed throughout the day you were "vain." So, even brushing my tangled hair in the afternoon was frowned upon.

 

My clothes were bought at the local Goodwill and they were not cool clothes at all. They were old lady clothes. No, really, they were. They were horrid. I had 4 outfits each school year. Whatever I wore on Monday is what I wore on Friday. If you know anything about females in school then you know that the same 4 old lady outfits worn from Sept to May was social death.

 

I had one pair of off-brand big clunky sneakers.

 

I never wore makeup.

 

I had glasses.

 

I was shy.

 

I was a total outcast. I really was. When we all had to walk across the stage one by one to get our school rings in the Junior Ring Ceremony I was the only kid that the other kids called mean names as I walked across the stage in front of everyone. They really hated me. And it was all based on looks. I was so shy that no one knew me. They just knew the didn't like the way I looked.

 

In my late twenties I just flat out got tired of being ugly. I lost a little bit of weight that I'd gained in my 20's, I got eye surgery, I started reading about fashion and buying clothes that were flattering to my body.

 

And now that I'm 41 I just can't go back to the ugly days. When I wear makeup I look good. When I don't wear makeup, I look bad. Sure, people might not agree or say that my looking "bad" is a social construct, but I'm just tired of being the ugly girl. I can't do it anymore.

 

I wear eye liner and mascara. That makes my eyes look bright and well rested. I wear brown eye shadow which also brightens my eyes. I wear a light lipstick that makes my lips look smooth. Once in a blue moon I'll wear that face makeup you smear all over and when I do, wow! My skin looks amazing. I've been starting to wear it more and more because I look so nice with it. And if I remember, I'll add blush because that makes me look flushed and healthy.

 

I never go out without my little bit of makeup.

 

However, I draw the line at plucking hairs out of my eyebrows and I don't see the point of nail polish. I just like to brighten the eyes and skin. It makes a huge difference in how pretty I look/feel.

Dahling, someone with your cheekbones can never be ugly. I remember your picture. You're the stuff supermodels are made of.

[WishboneDawn]

Sometimes I wear makeup, sometimes I don't. I went out yesterday and put on foundation, blush, powder, eye shadow, eye liner, brow powder, lip liner and lipstick.

 

I went out today and didn't even brush my hair, just pulled on a toque.

 

Sometimes I want to look attractive, sometimes I want to look out together, sometimes I want my eyes to stand out, sometimes I want to cover some thing up, whatever.

 

Sometimes I even pluck my eye brows although they're way too fair for my brunette self to begin with.

 

I'm totally inconsistent. Makeup is a tool. I make no apologies for wearing it or not wearing it.

[Joker]

I don't really wear any make up. Sometimes I wear a powder and blush. I don't even own other make up beyond that (eye shadow, mascara, etc.). It's just something I never really was into and my dh likes me like I am, so it's nothing I've ever pursued. I did take my oldest dd to get make up for her 13th birthday. They showed her how to put it on but in the year since she has only put on lip gloss. She's not interested either. She has beautiful skin so I hope that doesn't change.

[Maela]

 

I don't wear foundation, cover up, or blush. I do like to wear eye shadow, mascara, and Chapstick/lip gloss/lipstick.

 

I've had a few kids (boys and girls; my own an ones I've babysat) watch me put make up on and ask questions about it. In our conversations, I always try to get these points across in varying ways depending on the child's age:

A. Any man or woman can wear make up, but usually it's just females - at least in our culture.

B. No one HAS to wear make up.

C. I like to wear eye make up because it's fun and because I think it makes my eyes look even MORE Beautiful than they already are.

[caitlinsmom]

There are as many answers to this question as there are women I imagine.  I personally wear it because my features are so pale that nothing really stands out on my face, which does not fit my personality at all!  When I have eye make up on (really the only kind I wear) I feel like communication is better between myself and those around me.  Why? Because my expressions become more clear to them (as in they can actually see my eyebrows move up and down).

 

Plus it's fun.  It's fun to open a box of random colors and say What do I feel like today?  Am I a little bit daring? (pick the green eye shadow)?  Am I looking tired? (DON'T choose the brown eye liner!) Am I feeling fresh and happy? (Grab the mascara and lip balm).

 

While I am first to agree that our culture values physical beauty I also know that some women would play in the make up for the fun of it.   Just as some boys would be drawn to sports even if our society didn't highly value it.

[Cottonwood]

Everyone gets to choose how they look everyday, from the shirt they pick out to what they put on their face and some like something more to enhance their features. 

 

I don't over think it, don't care about norms, or fertility, etc.  I love being a girl and most anything associated with it.  I curl my hair, wear pretty jewelry, 4 inch heels at times, flip flops mostly, pretty purses, dresses, and I wear makeup.  I enjoy all parts of girly-ness and get a thrill over standing over little pots of color and playing with it.  I tell my 11 yr old son, I do it for the same reason that he loves to do boy things..  we are just attracted to them.  They don't have larger, deep meanings ...we just like those things.  I also hunt and ride a dirtbike and camp and fish and ski and build snowmen.  Sometimes I don't wear makeup and just pull my hair back.  I'd tell a young boy it's just another choice we get to make and everyone decides to do it for different reasons, just like anything else. 

[Guest]

Everyone gets to choose how they look everyday, from the shirt they pick out to what they put on their face and some like something more to enhance their features.

 

I don't over think it, don't care about norms, or fertility, etc. I love being a girl and most anything associated with it. I curl my hair, wear pretty jewelry, 4 inch heels at times, flip flops mostly, pretty purses, dresses, and I wear makeup. I enjoy all parts of girly-ness and get a thrill over standing over little pots of color and playing with it. I tell my 11 yr old son, I do it for the same reason that he loves to do boy things.. we are just attracted to them. They don't have larger, deep meanings ...we just like those things. I also hunt and ride a dirtbike and camp and fish and ski and build snowmen. Sometimes I don't wear makeup and just pull my hair back. I'd tell a young boy it's just another choice we get to make and everyone decides to do it for different reasons, just like anything else.

I completely agree! I was a girly-girl since I was 2 years old. One of my sisters was a complete tomboy. I could play with hair for hours. Sis could shave her head and not care. It was a personality difference. One can even see the same patterns with two of our daughters. My dd is a girly-girl and one of her dds is a tomboy. Nbd. Either is fine.

[Guest]

Well, I sure do. Remember how everyone was all up in arms when flappers started cutting their hair short in the 20's? Women were supposed to have long hair. It was a cultural norm. Now, no one bats an eye when they see a woman with short hair. Social change only happens when people buck the norms. I, for one, am grateful for all the women throughout the ages who bucked the cultural norm and gave women the choices we have today. I'm happy to do my part.

 

I don't care whether other women wear makeup. My best friend wears a ton. I, however, don't want to, and I'm not going to do it just because I "should."

Sure, I get it. But I don't grudgingly put on make-up, resentful that I'm held captive to a cultural standard of beauty. I like the way I look with makeup on. If another woman hates it or resents what it represents to her, she should certainly not wear it.

 

I'm glad women have the choices that we now enjoy, but both women and men still shock by bucking cultural norms. Remember when Brittney Spears shaved her head? People said she was off her rocker (which may have been true; I don't know). Women can get tattoos now, but there are nevertheless cultural standards for acceptable tats. If she gets a butterfly on her ankle, most people won't mind, but if she gets "F@&$ the world" tattooed on her forehead, almost nobody will find that acceptable.

 

What I'm saying is, both liberal free-spirits and the most uptight conservatives STILL have standards for what is acceptable and what is just weird. If i named my kid Nutmeg, people will find that strange, though some open folks might think it's fine. But if I name my kid Axe Murderer, almost zero people will think that is okay. (Thank the gods.) we are social animals and, as such, it is normal and fine to engage in arbitrary practices like wearing mascara and bracelets, even if they serve no survival function other than acceptance and approval by other members of our species. It is also normal and fine to go bare-faced if you like. NBD.

[Haiku]

Sure, I get it. But I don't grudgingly put on make-up, resentful that I'm held captive to a cultural standard of beauty. 

 

And neither do I. :)  So I'm not really sure where you're coming from. I never said no women should wear makeup. I said that I don't, and I said that the reason I don't is because I disagree with the cultural standard behind it. Other women are free to feel differently. I never said all women had to buck the norm. But the idea of bucking the norm is to provide other women with choices. When women started not wearing makeup, it was very shocking to people. As were not wearing corsets, showing some ankle, and choosing to swim in something that didn't resemble a bedsheet. Women driving and showing their bare heads are shocking in some countries. That doesn't mean they shouldn't do it. If someone named their child Axe Murderer, I would see that as unkind and abusive to their child. A more suitable analogy would be changing their own name to Axe Murderer. I'd think it was dumb, but I don't really see it as the same as choosing to buck a cultural norm that attempts to relegate women to their place (as most long-held cultural grooming and fashion norms historically have). A more suitable analogy there would be naming a girl a traditionally boy's name. Short of aristocratic Southern families, that has generally been frowned upon, but there really is no reason not to. For a long time I wanted to have a daughter and name her Spencer (neither of my daughters actually bears this name, though).

[Aelwydd]

Well, there is also the perspective of some very fundamentalist sects that women and girls aren't permitted to wear make up because it enhances her physical attractiveness.

 

In that sense, wearing make up is a defiance and a liberating thing. Whatever the original intent behind painting the face, it has come to encompass many complex issues and social messages. It's not as though all women wear make up for the same reasons or in the same way. This thread is a microcosm of that reality.

[Guest]

So you think it is shocking that some women don't wear makeup?

 

I honestly could care less either way. Truly I do not give it any thought beyond these discussions on this board, but I get a sense that part of what you are saying is well fine and dandy you can of course do that if you want, but realize that makes you rather freaky. I don't feel freaky at all. Your examples are pretty out there compared with not wearing make up.

No, no no. That's not what I'm saying at all. I said I don't think one should resist doing something ONLY because doing it is a cultural norm. Tara disagreed with me- said that we are able to do counter-cultural things now because women have resisted other things, even if it shocked.

 

The point I was trying to make is that we ALL adhere to some cultural standards, even if they are arbitrary. It is normal to do so because, as social (I.e., not solitary) animals, it is beneficial to adhere to cultural standards.

[kewb]

I think there are many reasons why a woman would choose to wear makeup. The ones that come to mind:

1. They want to.

2. It is a form of rebellion.  Once upon a time only prostitutes (painted ladies) wore makeup.

3. Makeup is a multi-billion dollar industry.  They make a lot of money telling women they are need all these products to be beautiful.

4. Wearing makeup can make a woman feel good, thus increasing her confidence.

 

[kewb]

I think there are many reasons why a woman would choose to wear makeup. The ones that come to mind:

1. They want to.

2. It is a form of rebellion.  Once upon a time only prostitutes (painted ladies) wore makeup.

3. Makeup is a multi-billion dollar industry.  They make a lot of money telling women they are need all these products to be beautiful.

4. Wearing makeup can make a woman feel good, thus increasing her confidence.

 

[Guest]

And neither do I. :) So I'm not really sure where you're coming from. I never said no women should wear makeup. I said that I don't, and I said that the reason I don't is because I disagree with the cultural standard behind it. Other women are free to feel differently. I never said all women had to buck the norm. But the idea of bucking the norm is to provide other women with choices. When women started not wearing makeup, it was very shocking to people. As were not wearing corsets, showing some ankle, and choosing to swim in something that didn't resemble a bedsheet. Women driving and showing their bare heads are shocking in some countries. That doesn't mean they shouldn't do it. If someone named their child Axe Murderer, I would see that as unkind and abusive to their child. A more suitable analogy would be changing their own name to Axe Murderer. I'd think it was dumb, but I don't really see it as the same as choosing to buck a cultural norm that attempts to relegate women to their place (as most long-held cultural grooming and fashion norms historically have). A more suitable analogy there would be naming a girl a traditionally boy's name. Short of aristocratic Southern families, that has generally been frowned upon, but there really is no reason not to. For a long time I wanted to have a daughter and name her Spencer (neither of my daughters actually bears this name, though).

I believed you were saying women are better off not wearing makeup, because wearing it was conforming to a male ideal of beauty. I believed you were saying we should resist cultural expectations, because women who have done so in the past are the reason we can now wear a bikini, dye our hair purple and wear a mini-skirt.

 

Also, there are some who would say it is cruel to give your child a cross-gendered name. Even within this practice, some names are more off-limits than others. Some would accept Spencer for a girl (I would), but almost never William, David, or Joseph. Also, notice that names that move out of male territory to become femal-ified almost never move back. Nobody wants to name their son a name once it had become feminized. Ashley, carol, Beverly, Leslie, Kelly - all were male names that went girl-ward and now rarely go back. Cultural norm raining on the parade again.

[mom2bee]

Wow....Buddy and Pal are going to be the countries most baffled little boys. :)

[mom2bee]

I guess the real reason that women wear makeup is....They don't quite know themselves, lol.

[Haiku]

Also, notice that names that move out of male territory to become femal-ified almost never move back. Nobody wants to name their son a name once it had become feminized. Ashley, carol, Beverly, Leslie, Kelly - all were male names that went girl-ward and now rarely go back. 

 

Interestingly, I am seeing a resurgence of the name Kelly for boys around here. I know two 30-something male Kellys and three under-10 male Kellys.

 

ETA: Off-topic yet funny (to me), when planning a name for our first child, dh stated he wanted a woman's name that could be shortened to a boy's nickname for a girl. Great, I thought. My mom's middle name is Josephine, and we could call her Joey. No dice, said dh. I suggested a plethora of other cute options, all of which were nixed by dh. What it came down to was that he wanted Samantha, nickname Sam. I, personally, dislike the name Samantha. Dd did end up with a feminine name that could be shortened to a boy's nn, but that was merely incidental, and dd has steadfastly refused any attempt to nickname her anything at all.

 

Women are better off not wearing makeup if the only reason they do so is because they feel they have to. Short of that, I don't care at all whether women choose to wear makeup as long as it's their own choice. I also don't care whether women choose not to wear makeup as long as it's their own choice.

 

I have (paradoxically, to me) found that many women are more opposed to women who buck the cultural norms than are the women who buck the cultural norms opposed to those who don't. If that makes sense. It sound clunky. What I mean is that there a lot of women who are opposed to women who don't shave their legs, for example, while women who don't shave their legs generally don't care what other women do.

[Danestress]

My best response would probably be that many people in many cultures, male and female people, have been concerned about the image they present to the world.  For example, many men want to look tough or rugged.  But there have been times and places when men generally wanted to project wealth more than they wanted to project ruggedness. 

 

I always think about Thomas Wolf who said that in his grandmother's day, women generally wanted to appear well off financially.  They wanted to wear diamonds and carry smart handbags, and have their hair "just so."  He said that today's women want to look 'young' more than they want to look wealthy.  In fact, wealthy women often dress in ways that are very casual and not that different from how women of much less means dress. You see celebrities in jeans with holes in them, for example, but you don't see a lot of women shopping for a little something to make their crows feet stand out. 

 

I think the idea that makeup mimics arousal is possibly true, but I think that is more about appearing youthful and vibrant than truly "aroused."  I have often heard it said that as men age they look distinguished,  but as women age, they just look tired.   Even when I was quite young, a little makeup made me look healthier and more alert. I do have sallow skin and dark circles under my eyes, so that is part of it.  Even then, people told me I looked tired when I wasn't wearing makeup. 

 

So I would probably say something about choosing an image they feel comfortable with.  Men do this too - they just don't generally need make up to get the image they want.  I would imagine even little boys can understand that. 

 

I also will say that my mother told me once that she feels a certain way about herself, and then she looks in the mirror and thinks, "who is that old lady, that's not me!"  I can relate.  Sometimes I catch a look at myself in the mirror and have to go put on makeup.  I feel great.  I don't look great, lol.  The makeup actually helps me look more the way I feel inside.  So even around the house, I put on lipstick just to avoid having to see that old witch who lives here these days.