Books we are surprised we read

[NittanyJen]

A recent thread which shall remain unnamed got me thinking... how tame was my reading material as a kid? How did it affect me?

 

I actually remember buying a copy of Eric Segall's "Love Story" from a neighbor's yard sale as a 10YO 4th grader; I just thought the cover looked cool. Whew-- end of some innocence there LOL. In 6th grade a friend handed me a copy of "Flowers in the Attic" or something like that and promised me more if I wanted them-- I gobbled down the book with interest as it was all new info to me, but declined more of that genre; I was more Isaac Asimov and Mark Twain.

 

Neither book ruined me for life or despoiled me for literature or ruined my heart in any way. They were books. I chose not to spend more time living in those worlds, but really, looking back, no harm was done; maybe I was just a secure, resilient kiddo. If anything, I learned from them what questions to begin asking about love, sex, the connections and differences between the two, and how my body worked.

 

What I did miss, later in my high school years, was a chance to read well-written literature that contained any mature themes in a classroom setting where I'd have a chance to discuss the piece with other kids in roughly my same life stage, with the help of an adult mentor. That's a shame, because as a science major, I also never did in college, which means I never had the chance to have that conversation with peers while forming who I was going to be as an adult. In the late teen years, peer interaction is super important.

 

Yes, we read and discussed many amazing books in American lit and AP English, but nothing of this sort, and this is an essential aspect of each person's development. One reason we read and discuss books is to reflect upon ourselves and our society.

 

Here's the question:

 

What books about human development and sexuality did you read when you were young (or even "too young?") and how did they affect you? Did you ever have a great book like this in class that spawned useful discussion? Does reflecting on this alter how you will plan books for your kids, or respond if you find them reading something "unexpected?" (My Dad's response to finding me reading "Love Story" is a response I will always love him for).

 

Not interesting: why young people should never read this stuff; why my parents were evil for allowing it (my parents were amazing, actually); all such material is evil, etc. this is not a controversy thread-- it's a thread for positive discussion about how books can impact you in a good way when you weren't expecting it.

[Wheres Toto]

I read a lot of good, heavy stuff in class.  The only name I can think of off the top of my head is The Color Purple but I know there were others.  Lots of things on banned reading lists.

 

Independent reading - I read A LOT that I'm sure many would find inappropriate.   There was a lot of Science Fiction with sex, horror, and alternate ideas  - lots of Heinlein, Stephen King and Piers Anthony.  I read The Amityville Horror when I was around 11 or 12, moved on to The Omen-type books, Stephen King, Clive Barker (that man is a sick puppy), yes I read the Flowers in the Attic series, as well as My Sweet Audrina.  

 

My mother never censored what I read, and we didn't really spend any time discussing it either.  I don't feel like they had a major impact on how I grew up.  They were stories, and most were too outrageous to confuse with reality.

 

My oldest and I share books all the time, and have since she was in 6th grade and I introduced her to The Outsiders (one of her favorites).  So, we do get the chance to discuss books.   She has also read some heavy stuff in school and I'm pretty sure she read Toni Morrison either her senior year or her first year in college.  Her personal preference is for the usual young adult - vampire, werewolf, supernatural type stuff.  

[bumblesmama]

I don't want my dd reading in fear if she chose a mature, explicit topic. She can read what she wants and we can discuss if need be. I just wouldn't want her reading it and then discussing it with a teacher who I don't know how he/she would lead or direct that discussion in a classroom of kids that will have a whole host of varying values, insight, and parental backgrounds. At the college level, have at it! In today's public high school, I am not so confident. All I can picture is Mr. Hand trying to have a meaningful discussion on these topics at Ridgemont High to the nth degree, being nth degree to account for what kids know today! I may be dating myself with that comment. ;)

 

i read FITA, the whole series, too young most likely. All of the Earth Children series where I know every inch of Ayla and Jondalar, and a whole host of similar genres in middle and high school. But I also devoured 19 th century novels and poetry, everything Stephen King, Russian literature, Thomas Paine, Geoffrey Chaucer, Beowulf, Gilgamesh, Shakespeare, E. R. Burroughs, Tolkien, Terry Brooks, Asimov, Carl Sagan, Richard Feyman, historical fiction....and cheesy/sexy romance novels all well before undergrad. I loved reading, loved exploring worlds and lives in my imagination, loved having a question or problem and searching for the answers, seeking inspiration, and just loved learning. That is all I really want for my daughter, I am confident that will be what she really needs to find her own path, just as I did.

[Mommyfaithe]

I read voraciously as a kid and I do now as well. I read all the Flowers in the Attic, Sweet Audrina's as well as King, Barker etc. scary stuff. I still think The Stand is the quintessential American Novel and have all my high schoolers read it for character and plot development in 11th grade ;-). That book has every literary term represented that any kid might need to know, the story is awesome and we have lots of discussion over it..

 

My kids have lots of freedom to read what they wish. Sometimes I guide them away from a book because it is just cr@p and a waste of their time. Other times, I will smirk, and wait until they come to me with the same assessment.

 

The only books that did have an effect on me were probably Judy Blume in 3 rd grade. Are You There God? Was not really about puberty to me, but about questioning my belief in God and becoming a teenager. Many of her book had me question my upbringing and my parents in a very strange way...and I am not sure why. They spoke to me. Norma Klien as well. I have not read or looked at her books as an adult, and oddly, my kids have never picked them up at the library.

 

Hmmmmmm.....this is really a great question.

 

Faithe

[momma2three]

I still maintain that the most educational book I've ever read was Ivana Trump's autobiographical novel, which I borrowed from someone at summer camp.  I was maybe going into 6th or 7th grade.  Wow.  That book was a real eye-opener about, uh, adult relationships.

[bumblesmama]

My kids have lots of freedom to read what they wish. Sometimes I guide them away from a book because it is just cr@p and a waste of their time. Other times, I will smirk, and wait until they come to me with the same assessment.

 

 

Hmmmmmm.....this is really a great question.

 

Faithe

agreed! I do the same. There is a lot of cr@p even at the primary/elementary levels. I don't mean solely topics, just crappy, corporate-designed writing to sell books. I prefer she reads the likes of Roald Dahl, Beverly Cleary, E.B. White, L.I. Wilder, which we do! But I can't deny her love of Captain Underpants and another (15 book series :P ) of "fairy-princess-pony-kitten-pink and sparklely" fodder either. What I can do is guide toward a balance between the meaningful and beautiful writing, and other less inspiring media. We all need do that on occasion. "A little nonsense now and then, is relished by the wisest men." - Gene Wilder as Mr. Willy Wonka. ;)

[GailV]

What an interesting question!

 

Also, I hadn't realized that Flowers in the Attic was such a phenomenon.  I borrowed a couple of them from my BFF, but got sort of bored with them.  Also part of Anne Rice's vampire series.  That would've been in high school.

 

On the other hand, during middle school I went through all of my older brothers' scifi collection, and read massive piles of Heinlein, Piers Anthony, and others of that ilk.  Also, a parody of Lord of the Rings by Harvard Lampoon.  I always had the impression that my parents didn't really know what the books were about.  Hmmm, I wonder if my kids think I don't know what their books are about.  

 

Being the youngest in a family of readers presented me with all sorts books to try.  I have a vivid memory of picking up a copy of Cry, the Beloved Country in my older sister's room, and realizing that simply understanding all of the words in a book didn't mean that I actually understood the book.  It was a huge paradigm shift for me.  I didn't get very far with that particular book, by the way, since I decided I needed someone to guide me through it and I couldn't figure out who that should be -- my older siblings were a LOT older, and my parents were busy being adults, and my teachers at middle school didn't seem the sort who were open to those types of questions.

 

When I was in college I worked in a bookstore, and was able to take home grocery-bags full of mass market schlock that was headed for the dumpster, which my roommate and I consumed like they were bags full of junk food.  But I think we were older than we're talking about here, right?

[Candid]

I think the worst damage to me was not in being scarred by a particular book, but because I read some books too young to appreciate them or the story they were trying tell, I decided I didn't like those writers and/or that book. 

[Chrysalis Academy]

I think the worst damage to me was not in being scarred by a particular book, but because I read some books too young to appreciate them or the story they were trying tell, I decided I didn't like those writers and/or that book. 

This!!!  So very true.  I'm trying not to repeat this mistake with books I assign my dds.

 

This is a great question.  I read whatever I wanted, but secretly, as with everything else- I grew up in a very restrictive religious cult & attended its parochial school 7-12th grade.  We did have some good lit classes, but with a definite slant - I was so embarrassed when I read my 11th grade term paper, which was all about the christian virtues in Walden or some such thing . . . we definitely didn't learn standard literary analysis & critical thinking skills!

 

So, the things I read secretly that had a big impact:  Definitely Are You There God, It's Me Margaret.  I probably read that in 4th grade or something.  I was always a questioner, so I related to Margaret a lot.  My mom was a big Georgette Heyer fan, so I read all of those books in middle school, and I'm so glad I did!  The language was fantastic, and I learned so much about the Regency period, too - really!  My dad thought they were trashy romance novels and didn't want me reading them, but my mom knew they weren't so she let me read them before he came home - and of course I read whatever I wanted in bed at night.

 

In junior high some of the teeny-bopper romance novels went around, and the teachers would confiscate them whenever they found them.  I don't remember anything scarring.  I don't remember any titles, either.  Ironically, one of them had a character who was into theater, and was performing Hamlet, and from it I memorized several passages of Shakespeare!  Weird.

 

I also read all of Anne Rice, lots of sex in that.  The thing that has stuck with me from that series is the idea that as we age, we don't change - we only become more fully who we are.  I've had a few discussions about that idea at cocktail parties over the years!

 

In high school I definitely read and was disturbed by The Color Purple & Beloved.  Not scarred, but disturbed, which I think is appropriate.  I didn't have anyone to process them with.  I really did not understand Beloved at all for years - I couldn't understand how she could do what she did, because I couldn't imagine her situation.  It took maturity, experience, and just learning more about slavery before I could do anything with that book.  

 

Interestingly, the only thing I remember that really, really scarred me as a child was reading books about horses and dogs suffering - I would cry buckets and I still can't stand to read those books and watch that kind of movie to this day.  There was one horrible scene of a fire in a dog kennel that I remember vividly to this day.  Horrible image!  This is the main thing I try to "censor" for my kids, because it upsets them a lot, too.

[Karen in CO]

The first book I read that really made me feel scandalized was Beowulf.  I had been sheltered in books like Little Women and Five Little Peppers and books by Mark Twain.  I'd never read anything with so much violence.  It was on the book report reading list when I was in seventh grade.  I couldn't believe that not only was I allowed to read something that bloody and violent, but I was also encouraged to read it.   Funny thing is that I've been listening to Heany's audio version of it this week.  I still love the book.  

 

I remember that I read my sister's Harlequin romance books when I was in high school, but I was older.  They never shocked me the way Beowulf did.

[HRAAB]

I did read Love Story when I was Jr. High; it was after I saw the movie.  I don't remember much about it, though.  The most shocking book I read in high school, I think, must have been The Exorcist.  I don't recall being affected by it.  I didn't read many shocking books in high school.  Outside of required reading, I devoured Taylor Caldwell, Daphne du Maurier, James Michener, Victoria Holt (Jean Plaidy, Phillipa Carr), Mary Stewart, Phyllis Whitney, Agatha Christie, Irving Stone, Thomas Costain.  I loved the Palliser series by Anthony Trollope.  The main impact my reading had is that it left me with an overly romanticized view of life. 

[Julie Smith]

When I was about 10 or 11 I read Clan of the Cave Bear. I had been sexually abused and the book struck a cord with me. I then read the whole series (That was available at the time) and loved finding out how she then went on to live a normal (Well for a superhero cavewoman ) live with a husband who she could happily be with.

 

I do plan to closely supervise my kids reading, at least for a number of years. 

 

[Coco_Clark]

The first book I read that I probably wasn't ready for was Anne Rice. They all have sex in them, but I think it was Vampire Armand (?) that had quite a bit of young boy/grown man action. I was probably...10? Not really ready for the slight pedophelia. My parents had no idea, I'm sure.

 

In high school I read Anna Karenina. That book really disturbed me for some reason. I think I was still in a very black and white hero/villain stage and I Could. Not. Fathom. why Anna would leave her husband and her son whom she loved. Then I didn't understand why she was still so unhappy. I hated that book, mostly because I just couldn't grasp it and had no one to discuss it with, But I dwelled on it for months.

 

Anna Karenina is actually my favorite book now. Realizing the way my emotions have changed around it as I've matured has honestly been priceless.

[Chris in VA]

My parents never knew what I read.

 

As a teen, I read several impactful books that stayed with me. (I think Harold Robbins and FITA stuff came a little later.)

One was, Go Ask Alice. I read it as an outsider to that culture, never guessing I've have an insider's view years later.

I also picked up some sci-fi that was much more explicit than I needed to read. It might have been Asimov--a book of short stories, some of which had a sexual element--one was about women who were farmed like cows--ring a bell, anyone? Yuck.

 

I also read about love charms and the occult in elementary school. Not to offend anyone into that here, but I really didn't need that rattling around in my head. I think it was about seeking power/control during puberty, an "out of control" time for many kids.

 

[Catherine]

As a child, I was given a copy of Harriet the Spy and my mother eventually took it out of my room and hid it. It introduced me to the idea of keeping a part of myself secret from my parents and this really upset my mother. I was probably 9 or 10. I also read Are You There God when I was 11 or so. Reread many times-it was so timely and spot-on in terms of how I was trying to sort out what kind of person I was going to be with boys-and with friends, for that matter.

[Pen]

A recent thread which shall remain unnamed got me thinking... how tame was my reading material as a kid? How did it affect me?

 

...

Here's the question:

 

What books about human development and sexuality did you read when you were young (or even "too young?") and how did they affect you? Did you ever have a great book like this in class that spawned useful discussion? Does reflecting on this alter how you will plan books for your kids, or respond if you find them reading something "unexpected?" (My Dad's response to finding me reading "Love Story" is a response I will always love him for).

 

...

 

Could you share your Dad's response?

 

Does this have to be limited to only books in human development sexuality area?  

 

...

 

While at someone else's home,  there was a copy of works of the Marquis de Sade readily available--I wish I had not seen that.

 

In school, the most "like this" sort of book was Lolita.   Yes, I think it did spawn some useful discussion.  It could have spawned even more if the discussion had been broadened to consider ways in which things then going on might be related, and had been a little less arm's length.

 

 

The most troublesome of books to me were actually the romances that were circling amongst girls, and also even something like  Wuthering Heights, with Heathcliffe and whichever book of that genre had the governess and the wife hidden away somewhere in the mansion, (you can see that my recall now is rather vague) even though literature, because of the ideas of what love is and relations between the sexes that are not so much there for consideration and criticism.

 

Dickens also had a lot that might have been spoken of more--the relation between hmmm, Bill Sykes and the woman who loves him but is killed by him, cannot recall character name, in Oliver Twist, the relationship between David Copperfield's mother and second husband, for example.  There is a lot there in regard to issues of abuse, prostitution, and so on.  

 

I think it would also be helpful to have a group of books in mind that portray positive relationships.   There is some of that in Tolstoy as I recall.  If anyone has ideas for literature that shows positive relationships, friendships, marriages, etc., I'd love to start a list of that too.

[MusicMama]

I remember reading To Kill a Mockingbird when I was in 4th or 5th grade.  I identified with Scout, and other than that, totally missed the WHOLE POINT of the book.  I picked it up in high school and was glued.  My parents had given it to me to read for school, I had an extremely high reading comprehension.  But the topics of rape and racial inequality were beyond my comprehension at that stage in my life.  I'm pretty sure my dad was the one who wanted me to read it.    

 

I read a lot of my dad's Piers Anthony and the like, and had no lasting "damage" other than the guilt I felt from reading stuff I KNEW my mom would disapprove of.  My dad was a rabid reader, and I never remembering him censoring me in any way  

 

I think that reading about a topic gives you a way to step into another's shoes, and think about topics that are foreign or to process difficult events in your life.  It can be very healing.  

 

 

[Pen]

I remember reading To Kill a Mockingbird when I was in 4th or 5th grade.  I identified with Scout, and other than that, totally missed the WHOLE POINT of the book.  I picked it up in high school and was glued.  My parents had given it to me to read for school, I had an extremely high reading comprehension.  But the topics of rape and racial inequality were beyond my comprehension at that stage in my life.  I'm pretty sure my dad was the one who wanted me to read it.    

 

...

 

I think that reading about a topic gives you a way to step into another's shoes, and think about topics that are foreign or to process difficult events in your life.  It can be very healing.     I agree.

 

 

I agree.  And I had a similar experience with To Kill a Mockingbird.   In some ways that seems reassuring that if too young, a likely result is just to miss the point entirely.   And I think a lot of kids skip what to them are boring parts which sometimes includes parts that would have sex.  Unfortunately, I think youngsters tend to often read the "exciting parts" which may be where the violence is.   I have noticed that with movies where the fast forward is used to go past a discussion of peace with Obi Wan or Yoda say,  and to rush on to another battle scene.

[dhudson]

I think the worst damage to me was not in being scarred by a particular book, but because I read some books too young to appreciate them or the story they were trying tell, I decided I didn't like those writers and/or that book.

 

I make mine wait if I know that they will love a certain book if they wait. My parents, who were really conservative, made the mistake of not paying attention to what I was reading since they weren't readers. I am far more careful with books and I discuss books with my kids often.

[LostSurprise]

I was a cautious kid and really in-tune with my own moral compass, so much of my reading was developmentally appropriate in terms of sex, philosophy, or violence. I did learn about the specifics of sex from The Thornbirds though.  :rolleyes:  I asked the "librarian" (lady who worked in the high school library) and she said it was good. I find it funny now, but it was obvious at that point that my mom wasn't going to tell me anything.

 

I started a few books (Clan of the Cave Bear, books like Judy Blume's Fifteen, VC Andrews, and a romance novel my grandmother accidentally gave me in 9th grade) in early puberty that I knew I wasn't ready for so I put them away until later. 

 

My dad was a book controller, but I read so much and he worked so much it was hard for him to keep tabs on all of it. If there was something I didn't want him to see, I read it at the library. My mom was very laissez -faire (I suppose if I was leaving porn around she would have said something). I suppose I'm somewhere between the two in that I guide and discuss more than I control or ignore. 

 

My favorite discussions are with my oldest. He's obsessed with the idea of scary things, but he gets creeped out very easily. I have to do a lot of 'remember what happened last time?' and 'if you creep yourself out you're a teenager now...that doesn't get out of things like showering or letting the dog in or going in the basement.' I try really hard not to roll my eyes when he brings home another 'aliens abducted my dog and its a government conspiracy' books.  

 

 

[Rosie_0801]

The only book that comes to mind was a novel featuring female circumcision, which my mother had lent me. I read about a third of it then went to her demanding to know why she told me to read it. I think that was the first and possibly only book I ever threw away. She said she thought it might be good for me or something. Maybe she didn't know I was aware of the issue and didn't require such a graphic story about it, certainly not something that made me feel physically ill.

 

Funny woman. Her rule was if I was tall enough to reach it off the book shelf without a chair, I was old enough to read it. 

[Chrysalis Academy]

The only book that comes to mind was a novel featuring female circumcision, which my mother had lent me. I read about a third of it then went to her demanding to know why she told me to read it. I think that was the first and possibly only book I ever threw away. She said she thought it might be good for me or something. Maybe she didn't know I was aware of the issue and didn't require such a graphic story about it, certainly not something that made me feel physically ill.

 

Funny woman. Her rule was if I was tall enough to reach it off the book shelf without a chair, I was old enough to read it. 

 

Ahh, yes - Possessing the Secret of Joy, by Alice Walker, maybe??  That book totally traumatized me, but I think I was in high school when I read it, not a youngster.  I can relate to the physical effect of reading that book, it made me want to curl up into a little ball.  Still does when I think of it.

[theYoungerMrsWarde]

My grandmother/woman who raised me had no idea what I was reading; didn't care, never asked. And I read a LOT. The book that had sex in it that I read in high school would be The Raging Quiet and The Handmaiden's Tale. I was already afraid of sex hurting and those books made it worse. I wasn't properly prepared when it came to sex and it's affect my wedding night and every night since in a negative way. I intend to be very careful about how I teach the "birds and bees" to my daughter so she doesn't grow up having the same dysfunction I have. :(

[Pen]

Has anyone read JK Rowling's book for adults called something like A [Temporary] Vacancy?    It has a bunch of teens amongst its characters and deals with things like body image, sex, cyber-stalking among other things.  I think it could be interesting at the teen age stage for getting discussion about such topics going.

[Violet Crown]

I read Flowers in the Attic in 6th grade like evryone else. I bought the sequel and started it; my mom found it, skimmed it, and told me that if I let her throw it away she'd pay me back for it. I was happy enough to agree as I'd quickly discovered it was atrocious tripe.

 

I never told her I'd already found and read her hidden copy of Fear of Flying.

[Chrysalis Academy]

Has anyone read JK Rowling's book for adults called something like A [Temporary] Vacancy?    It has a bunch of teens amongst its characters and deals with things like body image, sex, cyber-stalking among other things.  I think it could be interesting at the teen age stage for getting discussion about such topics going.

 

I read it, and enjoyed it very much.  It reminded me of PD James but with younger and more screwed-up characters.

 

Would I give it to a teenager to prompt discussion about the topics?  Hmmm.  I don't know.  One of the main issues in the book was really terrible relationships between parents  & their kids, and incredibly irresponsible parenting.  I don't think this is the book I'd pick if I wanted to have a discussion with my kids about sex or body image or cyber-stalking.  

 

I think it's a grown-up book, for sure.  I wouldn't try and stop my older teen from reading it (as a matter of principle), but I don't think I'd hand it to my 14 or 15 year old, either.  Mature themes, KWIM?  I think it is rated R, whatever that means to you.

[jmama]

Mine was Forever by Judy Blume.  I remember thinking at the time(I was 11?) that it was sooo dirty.  Looking at it now, you would see a lot more sex on regular T.V. than in that book.

[alicai]

When I was young my mom began dropping me off at the public library every Saturday while she did her shopping. There I would spend a long time carefully choosing my books for the week up to the maximum allowed. We did this every week for how I don't know how long. She never audited my books at all. I became an avid reader and read whatever I liked. The most scarring books I recall in the teen years were Stephen King, in that they scared the everliving out of me. Movies affected me more negatively than any book.

[Korrale]

i read FITA, the whole series, too young most likely. All of the Earth Children series where I know every inch of Ayla and Jondalar, and a whole host of similar genres in middle and high school.

Yup... I was certainly going to mention starting the Clan of the Cave Bear series with Ayla and Jondalar. In 8th grade. I also read similar historical books of that genre too. A Phillipa Gregory series comes to mind. Maybe Wide Acre?

In 9th grade if did read Marquis De Sade. But by that point I was reading a slew of cheesy historical romance.

 

None of the above books have left me scarred. Or made me promiscuous. Quite the opposite.

[NittanyJen]

 

Could you share your Dad's response?

 

Does this have to be limited to only books in human development sexuality area?

 

...

 

I will consider this, but not today-- I have 14 boys ages 5-12 coming in a few hours for an overnight outdoor sleepover birthday party, and DH has been out of town on business, and did I mention one of our guests has a peanut allergy and DS10 had two visits to the hospital yesterday? I shouldn't even be online right now, but for a momentary sanity break...

 

I will say that our production of (was it Mame, Carousel, or Music Man? I want to say carousel?) disturbed me more than most things I read in terms of relationships... I was horrified at the line, "Is it possible, if you love someone very very much, for someone to hit you, hard, and it doesn't hurt at all?" "Oh yes. If you love him very much, even if he hits you hard, it won't hurt at all."

 

To this day, I shudder that we performed those lines as written... and the whole audience clapped.

[mommymilkies]

By 6th grade, I was reading Stephen King, Anne Rice, and anything I could get my hands on.  I was an exceptionally advanced reader.  Stephen King wasn't nearly as...inappropriate as Anne Rice (well, the ones I read, at least, I've read many more recently that would have been).  My reading was completely unrestricted.  So was my media usage, other than the movie Kids.  My Mom wouldn't let me see that one, so I snuck and watched it.  It was much more tame than many other movies she'd let me watch, like every horror film ever made, Elvira, etc.

 

How did it effect me?  Well, I've always had a thing for fantasy and paranormal themes, but the books I read back then didn't cause that. 

[melmichigan]

I had free reign from a very young age and read whatever I wanted. The librarians used to let me into the library early so I could pick two books to read for that day, school was boring and I had a long bus ride.

 

To be honest I read the majority of the books listed as "controversial" or "challenged" for the time. The single book I remember reading that disturbed me back then was The World According to Garp.

[shawthorne44]

I remember reading my parent's Joy of Sex book in maybe 4th grade.  I actually think it was a pretty good idea.  Nothing titillating, but lots of facts.  Maybe it was another similar book.  In 9th or 10th grade I innocently bought a book at a gas station because I needed one for reading time in a particular class, and I'd forgotten my book.  It was basically porn with a romance cover.  I hadn't liked the teacher for the class, and she would have gone ballistic, so that made it fun.  I think the only one that really shocked me was Fanny May read in my 30's.  I'd bought a CD of "The 500 best books" on e-book.  So, they were all older, copyright-free books.  A large part of the shock was that I was expecting something more like Pride and Predice than letters to Penthouse. 

[GailV]

 

I will say that our production of (was it Mame, Carousel, or Music Man? I want to say carousel?) disturbed me more than most things I read in terms of relationships... I was horrified at the line, "Is it possible, if you love someone very very much, for someone to hit you, hard, and it doesn't hurt at all?" "Oh yes. If you love him very much, even if he hits you hard, it won't hurt at all."

 

To this day, I shudder that we performed those lines as written... and the whole audience clapped.

 

That sounds like Carousel.  That musical totally skeeves me out.  It has all the bad qualities of Oklahoma, plus the domestic violence  theme.

[shawthorne44]

I was thinking about the original post in this thread.  I would have been extremely uncomfortable discussing explicit sex in a classroom or group setting.  I can not think of any good coming from it.  

[Sobeknofret]

Like so many others, Flowers in the Attic was the first bigg'un I read :laugh: I thought the story of four kids locked in an attic was romantic and adventurous; I totally missed the incest subtext :laugh: Tells you how ready for it I really was!

[bakpak]

I remember 'Are You There God...' cluing me in to puberty...I had no idea before. And my mom never talked about that stuff, so I'm glad I was able to read about it.

 

When I was 12 or 13, I came across this book in the library that was accidentally shelved in the YA section. It was beyond shocking - sexual slavery on another planet. Definitely not a YA novel. It was hard-core erotica, and I haven't really seen its equal since. After returning it, I never could find it again at the library.

 

I was thinking about the original post in this thread.  I would have been extremely uncomfortable discussing explicit sex in a classroom or group setting.  I can not think of any good coming from it.  

 

Interesting topic - I could see sex-specific reading groups being appropriate. I would never have spoken in a mixed group, but a smaller discussion group with only all girls - that might have been more acceptable to me as a teenager. I still remember my all-girls health class in 7th grade, the teacher asking the class on the first day 'How many of you masturbate', and one girl actually raised her hand and said 'Come'on y'all! You know you all do!' Everyone else stayed quiet, but her openness blew my mind. I grew up so sheltered, so all my learning about real life I got from books. It would have been nice to discuss some adult themes in a reading group. I remember reading an article about a mother-daughter reading group, which tackles books like this and discusses them openly - they claimed they had much better relationships with their parents/daughters than they would have otherwise, as they were able to see life from the others' point of view better.

[Library Momma]

I remember loving "Are you there G-d..." and I don't really remember it being too shocking (except for the idea of belted sanitary pads!).  Judy Blume's "Forever" on the other hand was a real eye opener.  It spoke about sex in a way that was more matter of fact than any bodice ripper I had ever sneaked a peek at.  I read it in 7th grade and I remember giggling about it with other girls in school at lunch time.

[Acorn]

Like so many others, Flowers in the Attic was the first bigg'un I read :laugh: I thought the story of four kids locked in an attic was romantic and adventurous; I totally missed the incest subtext :laugh: Tells you how ready for it I really was!

 

You must have missed the sequels. 

[momma2three]

I HATED "Are You There, God."  I was a kind of immature kid I guess, and I just could not FATHOM anyone actually WANTING to go through puberty.  The idea of actually wanting to get your period and wanting to have breasts was foreign to me that I found the entire book totally unrelatable.  And it made me feel kind of crummy that this was a book girls were "supposed" to love and identify with, and I obviously was lacking in whatever girl-gene made you have a tight group of girlfriends who sat around talking about wanting to get your period.

[Rosie_0801]

Mum made me read "Are you there God" and I spent the whole time trying to work out why in case she quizzed me. So girls get periods and grow boobs, huh? That's, uh, nothing I don't know already.

[PeachyDoodle]

I HATED "Are You There, God."  I was a kind of immature kid I guess, and I just could not FATHOM anyone actually WANTING to go through puberty.  The idea of actually wanting to get your period and wanting to have breasts was foreign to me that I found the entire book totally unrelatable.  And it made me feel kind of crummy that this was a book girls were "supposed" to love and identify with, and I obviously was lacking in whatever girl-gene made you have a tight group of girlfriends who sat around talking about wanting to get your period.

 

That wasn't just me? Thank goodness.

[vonfirmath]

Maybe you were lucky? Or built differently.  Or maybe you just read it too early to affect you?

 

Flowers in the Attic really scarred me. I read it as a 9th or 10th grader and to this day really regret it.

 

ETA: The worst part of Flowers in the Attic, for me, wasn't the s*x between the kids or even that they were brother and sister.

 

It started with the father dying, and the fact that their mother would LOCK THEM IN THE Attic and then go and have fun, to please HER parents, who are these kids' grandparents. And then they started to slowly poison them to death -- because she'd rather be without them!  And all the punishment when they try to raise themselves the best they can!

[Julie Smith]

I HATED "Are You There, God."  I was a kind of immature kid I guess, and I just could not FATHOM anyone actually WANTING to go through puberty.  The idea of actually wanting to get your period and wanting to have breasts was foreign to me that I found the entire book totally unrelatable.  And it made me feel kind of crummy that this was a book girls were "supposed" to love and identify with, and I obviously was lacking in whatever girl-gene made you have a tight group of girlfriends who sat around talking about wanting to get your period.

 

I did not relate to the book at all. Seems the two options I was given by school was relate to this book and ones like it, or Gordon Korman books. (I'm a boy, lets do some mildly stupid stuff. The end.)

[momma2three]

I did not relate to the book at all. Seems the two options I was given by school was relate to this book and ones like it, or Gordon Korman books. (I'm a boy, lets do some mildly stupid stuff. The end.)

 

Oh I loved the Gordon Korman books!  I really wanted to go to boarding school because of those books, and was so bummed that my parents wouldn't let me!  

[Julie Smith]

Oh I loved the Gordon Korman books!  I really wanted to go to boarding school because of those books, and was so bummed that my parents wouldn't let me!  

 

That's funny.

 

I talk about Gordon Korman to my kids as the example of awful. I have even banned him from the house.(They have joked about taking on out from the library and chasing me around the house with it, and tormenting me by reading sections out loud. ... they know they would not get in any trouble for this. But have no interest in doing so. )

 

I think it was that for 4? 5? years in school we would read one of his books in school spending months on it.

 

I have promised my kids that if they don't like an author then we will only read one book by that author. I wouldn't beat them over the head with it the way my teacher's beat me with Gordon Korman. 

[momma2three]

That's funny.

 

I talk about Gordon Korman to my kids as the example of awful. I have even banned him from the house.(They have joked about taking on out from the library and chasing me around the house with it, and tormenting me by reading sections out loud. ... they know they would not get in any trouble for this. But have no interest in doing so. )

 

I think it was that for 4? 5? years in school we would read one of his books in school spending months on it.

 

I have promised my kids that if they don't like an author then we will only read one book by that author. I wouldn't beat them over the head with it the way my teacher's beat me with Gordon Korman. 

 

Wow, I'm really surprised you read them in school.  I remember them as pretty silly reads.

[Julie Smith]

Wow, I'm really surprised you read them in school.  I remember them as pretty silly reads.

 

They were, which made studying them extra awful. But I lived in his home province a couple hours away from his home town.

[Camelfeet]

I was into fantasy so I didn't read a lot of the books being mentioned here like Flowers in the Attic or the horror stuff.  For the most part I wanted to read anything involving wizards and dragons and those tend to be quite tame.  

 

I did read two books that I literally threw with disgust - The Mists of Avalon and Firebrand, both by Marion Zimmer Bradley.  I'm not saying that these books are bad, but the incest, rape, and pedophilia was too much for my 13/14 self to handle. The imagery my mind conjured while reading the scene of child rape and murder in Firebrand stayed with me for a long time.  Considering my mother had read these books, I'm surprised she didn't bat an eye when I picked them up.

 

 

[katilac]

Like so many others, Flowers in the Attic was the first bigg'un I read :laugh: I thought the story of four kids locked in an attic was romantic and adventurous; I totally missed the incest subtext :laugh: Tells you how ready for it I really was!

I think you were even less ready than you thought: it wasn't subtext!