Rose in BC Posted June 2, 2013 Share Posted June 2, 2013 It's Sunday afternoon. I'm tired. I'm sitting in my chair with a cup of coffee but my mind is whirling one hundred miles a minute thinking about all the things I should be doing. My life is chaotic at the best of times (two FASDnkids, one with RAD). You'd think I could enjoy those brief moments of peace and solitude. Nope! I wonder if I can train myself to multitask less. I think that's the root of my problem. I'm good at doing many things at the same time. Anyone else suffer from this affliction? Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
MrsMommy Posted June 2, 2013 Share Posted June 2, 2013 Totally! I'll tell my husband I feel guilty for being lazy if I'm not doing something "right this minute," and he looks at me like I've sprouted a second head, and every time says, "You're the least lazy person I know!" But if I'm not doing something productive, I feel like I am a total sloth! Men neither seem to have nor understand this problem! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Liz CA Posted June 2, 2013 Share Posted June 2, 2013 I have a friend who could not sit down for a minute. She is better now. I have a hard time relaxing when some chore is niggling in the back of my head, i.e dishes, floors. laundry. Once I have accomplished my personal goals, I am happy to be kicking back with a book or a smoothie. I think sometimes when we are struggling with something internally, it is easier to be busy with our hands than to contemplate what we are going through. Does this seem plausible for your situation or have you always been relentlessly on the go? Another thing is that many of us have been conditioned as young girls to keep busy and keep working on something. I don't think boys get this message as much as girls since less men seem to have this particular problem. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Janie Grace Posted June 2, 2013 Share Posted June 2, 2013 I can totally relate. Sometimes I force myself to rest, but there is always that nagging feeling that I'm being lazy. I think part of it has to do with never leaving my "work." I can sit on the couch but I glance over and there's my school cabinet that needs sorting, my laundry that needs folding and my dirty kitchen floor. Sometimes I wonder if I had an office where I worked and then came home to relax (and someone ELSE bore the responsibility for household chores), if I'd be less this way. I do remember that I could relax as a teenager, if my mom wasn't around. ;) I do think part of it is personality (I am a firstborn, people-pleasing, "productive" type...), but that it's more common for women. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Stayseeliz Posted June 2, 2013 Share Posted June 2, 2013 I think part of the problem is that we are almost always at "work". I'm sitting at the kitchen table on my kindle and my two year old just made a mess in the living room, there is laundry to be done and dinner to be made. I'm at "work" even though it's Sunday afternoon. DH is sleeping blissfully because he is at home, not work. Sigh. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Janie Grace Posted June 2, 2013 Share Posted June 2, 2013 Also, I think part of my problem is "stolen" time. I need to rest. Instead of setting aside time to rest and not feel guilty, I grab it along the way (usually in the form of computer stuff) and then I always feel half-guilty that I'm not being as productive as I should. Dh and I have talked about this -- the need to have sanctioned "zone out," recuperate, CHILL times and then be focused during focused times. But it's hard to maintain this IRL! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Janie Grace Posted June 2, 2013 Share Posted June 2, 2013 I think part of the problem is that we are almost always at "work". I'm sitting at the kitchen table on my kindle and my talk year olds just made a mess in the living room, there is laundry to be done and dinner to be made. I'm at "work" even though it's Sunday afternoon. DH is sleeping blissfully because he is at home, not work. Sigh. EXACTLY. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Word Nerd Posted June 2, 2013 Share Posted June 2, 2013 That tendency is probably tied more to personality than gender. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Rose in BC Posted June 2, 2013 Author Share Posted June 2, 2013 I can totally relate. Sometimes I force myself to rest, but there is always that nagging feeling that I'm being lazy. I think part of it has to do with never leaving my "work." I can sit on the couch but I glance over and there's my school cabinet that needs sorting, my laundry that needs folding and my dirty kitchen floor. Sometimes I wonder if I had an office where I worked and then came home to relax (and someone ELSE bore the responsibility for household chores), if I'd be less this way. I do remember that I could relax as a teenager, if my mom wasn't around. ;) I do think part of it is personality (I am a firstborn, people-pleasing, "productive" type...), but that it's more common for women. I do work outside the home in a senior management position....but I still am responsible for household chores. My dh does help but I do the cooking and there are some chores he doesn't do...like bathrooms. You're probably right it's a personality trait. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Mandylubug Posted June 2, 2013 Share Posted June 2, 2013 I'm a procrastinator.... I wish I was a busy body and couldn't be still. I don't watch tv but I love to just settle down with a cup of coffee and a good book. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
unfrumpable. Posted June 2, 2013 Share Posted June 2, 2013 Nope, I cannot relate at all. :) I love sitting back and relaxing and have no problem doing just that. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Rose in BC Posted June 2, 2013 Author Share Posted June 2, 2013 I think sometimes when we are struggling with something internally, it is easier to be busy with our hands than to contemplate what we are going through. Does this seem plausible for your situation or have you always been relentlessly on the go? I am naturally restless persons, always on the go but this is an interesting thought. Maybe. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
mysticmomma Posted June 2, 2013 Share Posted June 2, 2013 Take up knitting. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Robin M Posted June 2, 2013 Share Posted June 2, 2013 I think sometimes when we are struggling with something internally, it is easier to be busy with our hands than to contemplate what we are going through. This for me. I have to keep going and cleaning and listening to an audio book to drown out the annoying record in my brain for a while. Then there are times I have no problem just sitting and reading and being a sloth. A lot of times when it seems like there is so much to do, I'll make a list and all the things I need to do won't seem so daunting and I won't feel guilty about just relaxing. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Sarah CB Posted June 2, 2013 Share Posted June 2, 2013 It's Sunday afternoon. I'm tired. I'm sitting in my chair with a cup of coffee but my mind is whirling one hundred miles a minute thinking about all the things I should be doing. My life is chaotic at the best of times (two FASDnkids, one with RAD). You'd think I could enjoy those brief moments of peace and solitude. Nope! I wonder if I can train myself to multitask less. I think that's the root of my problem. I'm good at doing many things at the same time. Anyone else suffer from this affliction? I seriously do not have that problem, but I wish sometimes that I did :) Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
lea1 Posted June 2, 2013 Share Posted June 2, 2013 Totally! I'll tell my husband I feel guilty for being lazy if I'm not doing something "right this minute," and he looks at me like I've sprouted a second head, and every time says, "You're the least lazy person I know!" But if I'm not doing something productive, I feel like I am a total sloth! Men neither seem to have nor understand this problem! Actually my dh is like this. He makes me tired sometimes.:) Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest Posted June 2, 2013 Share Posted June 2, 2013 Yes. I often tell myself, "You know, you ARE allowed to just sit for a few minutes and watch the chickens peck. It's not a crime." Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
SKL Posted June 2, 2013 Share Posted June 2, 2013 I haven't had much opportunity to test for this problem, LOL. But yeah, I am nervous to sit down. I feel it may be as simple as realizing that once I get good and comfortable sitting, it's going to be verrrrry hard to get back up again. I can't afford to lose the momentum at this stage of my life. For me, it isn't stressful to keep moving. If anything, it relieves stress as it keeps my to-do list from growing longer. :) Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
KrissiK Posted June 3, 2013 Share Posted June 3, 2013 I do. Cleaning house is never ending. The laundry is never ending. And I feel guilty sitting down if the house is a disaster and there is laundry. Sometimes I do sit down and read, but I can't enjoy it because there are unfinished tasks. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
SquirrellyMama Posted June 3, 2013 Share Posted June 3, 2013 I am not the type who feels guilty sitting down. I think my dh does. His constant activity makes me stressed, and when I get stressed I sit or sleep. Kelly Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Amira Posted June 3, 2013 Share Posted June 3, 2013 That tendency is probably tied more to personality than gender. I agree. It drives my husband nuts that I have the ability to be lazy, because he certainly doesn't. ;) Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Rose in BC Posted June 3, 2013 Author Share Posted June 3, 2013 Take up knitting. Haha! I do knit and enjoy it (a skill I learned the earlier years of homeschooling....you know, nice, calming knit, purl, knit.) But the last thing I knit was a pair of socks in January. Thanks for the reminder! :) Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Dandelion Posted June 3, 2013 Share Posted June 3, 2013 That tendency is probably tied more to personality than gender. I agree. And OP, I can relate. I feel the same way. My mind never shuts off, and even when I'm trying to relax, I've still got a million ideas and "to do's" swirling through my head. I'm working on just being more present in each moment. It's a process, but I do notice that when I make a conscious choice to enjoy whatever is happening that moment and fully focus on it, I'm able to drown out some of that mental noise. I'm doing much better with it than a few years ago, but I've still got a long ways to go. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Seasider Posted June 3, 2013 Share Posted June 3, 2013 That tendency is probably tied more to personality than gender. I agree. DH (and his mother) are the kind of people that can't usually enjoy sitting still until after a certain time in the evening. Trouble is, he also gets the willies when those around his busy self appear too idle for his liking. Unfortunately, I am the type that needs regular sit-and-think time. I'm going to have to explain Sherlock's mind palace to him... I do agree with those above who note that if you're livin' at the office, it's hard to get a break. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Liz CA Posted June 3, 2013 Share Posted June 3, 2013 Yes. I often tell myself, "You know, you ARE allowed to just sit for a few minutes and watch the chickens peck. It's not a crime." It is sooo soothing to watch chickens in particular. More fun than any TV show. :) Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
violamama Posted June 3, 2013 Share Posted June 3, 2013 Am I making this up, or are you also a musician? Many (most?) musicians I know who have pursued serious training at some point in their college lives are like this. It's the I-should-be-practicing syndrome. I can seriously do it even when I've finally crawled into bed at 1am and am trying to fall asleep. Agree on the multitasking. Have you tried cutting caffeine? You go first and tell me how it works out. :leaving: Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
unfrumpable. Posted June 3, 2013 Share Posted June 3, 2013 I agree. It drives my husband nuts that I have the ability to be lazy, because he certainly doesn't. ;) I excel at that ability. :lol: I need sit down, be quiet, do nothing time. Not just 10 minutes or so either. I need time to just veg out or things can get ugly around here. Like others have mentioned though, I do get niggled when there are chores or what not that need to be done. Since there are only three of us in this family, I am able to get them done in a reasonable amount of time though usually. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
PeacefulChaos Posted June 3, 2013 Share Posted June 3, 2013 I think it's a personality thing. :) I'm not like that, tbh. :p I go to a mom's book club/group twice a month and a lot of them are like that - when they have free time they are thinking of what they should be doing, etc... I'm happy to just sit and do nothing. Another friend of mine is the same way. We always joke around that we're the slackers of the group. ;) And happy to be that way, too... :D Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Stacia Posted June 3, 2013 Share Posted June 3, 2013 Nope, I cannot relate at all. :) I love sitting back and relaxing and have no problem doing just that. Hi, twin! :seeya: Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Sara in AZ Posted June 3, 2013 Share Posted June 3, 2013 Am I making this up, or are you also a musician? Many (most?) musicians I know who have pursued serious training at some point in their college lives are like this. It's the I-should-be-practicing syndrome. I can seriously do it even when I've finally crawled into bed at 1am and am trying to fall asleep. Agree on the multitasking. Have you tried cutting caffeine? You go first and tell me how it works out. :leaving: Yes, no matter how much you have practiced it was not enough! Totally relate to this and the OP. My mother is worse. We call her the energizer bunny. She never slows down. If the fam is relaxing playing a game or watching a movie she always joins in late and comes bearing a pile of things to work on during the activity. I can usually relax enough to participate, but I still feel guilty about the things I could be accomplishing instead. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Arcadia Posted June 3, 2013 Share Posted June 3, 2013 Rest and relaxing counts as doing something. Putting my feet up and enjoying a bar of Toblerone counts as doing something definitely :) Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
ElizabethB Posted June 3, 2013 Share Posted June 3, 2013 It is mainly personality driven. However, everyone I know who grew up on a farm has a hard time sitting still. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Rose in BC Posted June 3, 2013 Author Share Posted June 3, 2013 It is mainly personality driven. However, everyone I know who grew up on a farm has a hard time sitting still. I definitely did not grow up on a farm, although I did grow up in a family of seven kids ...more like a zoo than a farm :). Am I making this up, or are you also a musician? Many (most?) musicians I know who have pursued serious training at some point in their college lives are like this. It's the I-should-be-practicing syndrome. I can seriously do it even when I've finally crawled into bed at 1am and am trying to fall asleep. Agree on the multitasking. Have you tried cutting caffeine? You go first and tell me how it works out. :leaving: Other than high school band and a love of music, nope not a musician (in fact, I sometimes faked my mom's initials on my practice card. :)) Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Mom in High Heels Posted June 3, 2013 Share Posted June 3, 2013 I do. I always try to carve out some "Mommy Time" every day (when Han Solo is napping in the afternoon and Indy is outside or playing in his room), but I feel guilty. It's usually an hour and I sit and read or watch TV, but I feel like I should be DOING something. I think about the things that are still messy, or I need to get to and it's difficult to let it go. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
kewb Posted June 3, 2013 Share Posted June 3, 2013 Not an affliction I suffer from. I have no problem choosing a book over any other chore I may have to do and I don't feel the slightest bit guilty. The dishes will just get dirty again, the dust will return, the laundry will still be there when I finish my book. I do, however, know many women who suffer greatly from this affliction and I really think there should be a support group. I have only met one man in my lifetime who suffered from this. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Tammyla Posted June 3, 2013 Share Posted June 3, 2013 The only way I don't feel guilty is by doing something like quilting while I sit that produces something. In all honesty, I love-love reading a good book and do, but I always feel the guilt. Flylady...not to bring up cleaning guilt, but her e-mails way back when that said it was time for a sit down water break helped me quite a bit. If I check things off my list, I'm more comfy sitting down and enjoying a chapter or two; and the breaks often leave me feeling recharged. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest Posted June 4, 2013 Share Posted June 4, 2013 It is sooo soothing to watch chickens in particular. More fun than any TV show. :) Too true. That's what I say when I'm going to go sit in my chair and watch the chickens: "I'm going to go watch 'Chicken TV.'" :laugh: Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Garga Posted June 4, 2013 Share Posted June 4, 2013 I think it's personality. My dh is a whirlwind of activity and he says his brain is always spinning. He can't settle down to sleep at night. It's pretty easy for me to set my thoughts aside and fall asleep. He can get more done in an hour than I get done in a day. Well, maybe it's not that bad. My dh also has ADHD. Especially the H part. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Lizzie in Ma Posted June 4, 2013 Share Posted June 4, 2013 I've gotten better. I knit so I can watch tv or a movie without guilt. :) Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Recommended Posts
Join the conversation
You can post now and register later. If you have an account, sign in now to post with your account.