Kids and their electronics in public

[Danestress]

I am not sure why the 'public' aspect is relevant. If a mom thinks an hour a day of 'screen time' is ok, one mom might let that happen in the morning so she can play online and another might let that happen at Cost-Co so she can shop in peace. I don't know why one is worse parenting than the other.

 

I can tell you as an impartial shopper I sure would rather hear a kid play Angry Bird then listen to a mom sing Itsy Bitsy Spider.

[rainbird2]

Can someone please offer an excuse for the 9 year old that was sitting next to me at a fantastic piano recital, dodging and jerking around (elbowing me!) while playing a video game during the performances? He didn't even turn it off for his sister's performance. His parents didn't ask him to.

 

Let's say he had ADHD or something...could one of the parents have brought him to the back of the recital hall (it was a huge place) and let him move around during the performances?

 

As a classically trained musician, spending 5-8 hours a day practicing during my college years, this made my blood boil at the lack of respect on both the child and parents' behalf. It was very hard for me not to give an evil, judgemental eye to his parents. I just looked forward and tried to enjoy the music. These kids worked their tails off to learn their pieces, and he couldn't take an hour to listen to their hard work? What about 4 minutes to listen to his sister's piece? What kind of manners is he learning?

 

Someone, please, take me down a notch and give me an excuse for the game playing during the recital. I really would like to humble myself here.

[PrairieSong]

I'm trying to figure out what item I should have handed my kids from the Lowe's cart on our fifth &$%! trip of the weekend to keep them entertained. Spray paint cans? Circular saw blade? Crow bars? Unsealed bag of bulk carriage bolts? Blackberry bush? Wasp spray?

 

We're the annoying family that brings picture book read alouds to restaurants. We encourage table side reenactment of key scenes.

 

Bring whatever you as their mom deem best. I never started the small electronic devices thing with my kids so I never felt I needed it. I just kept doing with my younger kids what I had done with the olders. I don't ever remember singing itsy bitsy spider in public though. :-)

[PrairieSong]

Didn't his parents notice he was bumping into you?

 

I don't have a problem with any and all electronics. We use them. But this example of someone retreating from an important family event, not even listening to is own sister play her piece, is troubling. The kid really could not put the game way for a bit to pay attention to life?

 

I guess that is what bugs me...the idea that kids might be so addicted or hooked that they are missing out on things in life more important than Angry Birds.

 

And yeah, maybe he did have some sort of issue, but if so, his parents still should have made sure he was not bothering someone else.

 

Can someone please offer an excuse for the 9 year old that was sitting next to me at a fantastic piano recital, dodging and jerking around (elbowing me!) while playing a video game during the performances? He didn't even turn it off for his sister's performance. His parents didn't ask him to.

 

Let's say he had ADHD or something...could one of the parents have brought him to the back of the recital hall (it was a huge place) and let him move around during the performances?

 

As a classically trained musician, spending 5-8 hours a day practicing during my college years, this made my blood boil at the lack of respect on both the child and parents' behalf. It was very hard for me not to give an evil, judgemental eye to his parents. I just looked forward and tried to enjoy the music. These kids worked their tails off to learn their pieces, and he couldn't take an hour to listen to their hard work? What about 4 minutes to listen to his sister's piece? What kind of manners is he learning?

 

Someone, please, take me down a notch and give me an excuse for the game playing during the recital. I really would like to humble myself here.

[LeslieAnneLevine]

Can someone please offer an excuse for the 9 year old that was sitting next to me at a fantastic piano recital, dodging and jerking around (elbowing me!) while playing a video game during the performances? He didn't even turn it off for his sister's performance. His parents didn't ask him to.

 

Let's say he had ADHD or something...could one of the parents have brought him to the back of the recital hall (it was a huge place) and let him move around during the performances?

 

As a classically trained musician, spending 5-8 hours a day practicing during my college years, this made my blood boil at the lack of respect on both the child and parents' behalf. It was very hard for me not to give an evil, judgemental eye to his parents. I just looked forward and tried to enjoy the music. These kids worked their tails off to learn their pieces, and he couldn't take an hour to listen to their hard work? What about 4 minutes to listen to his sister's piece? What kind of manners is he learning?

 

Someone, please, take me down a notch and give me an excuse for the game playing during the recital. I really would like to humble myself here.

 

I'm not sure anyone is trying to excuse rude behavior.

[PachiSusan]

We were gifted with a trip to Europe in 2010 with all of the cousins, aunts uncles on Hubby's side of the family. There were 6 boys from 17 on down to 5 years old. Do you know that while we were driving to the Acropolis? They were on their game boys with headphones on hunched down in the bus so the light didn't bother the screen. If they were unplugged they were miserable. When we were touring France, Turkey, Italy, Palma de Mallorca, Spain? Same thing. My FIL spent thousands to get them there and they saw a fraction of it because of electronics. That to me is very sad.

[brehon]

True, and I really used to worry about it. I think somewhere around the sleep deprivation with child #3 my give-a-damn broke and I just never put in the work order to get it repaired. :p

 

 

 

I have the overwhelming urge to go watch Steel Magnolias and cheer on Ouiser and Clarie. :p

 

 

Ha! My give-a-damn broke 3 kids ago and I have a yen for Fried Green Tomatoes - "I'm older, girls, and I have more insurance." For Wanda!

[Lisbeth]

 

 

This is my favorite post of the day! Leave the electronic at home and actually interact with your children. What a novel idea! I wish there was a love button!!!

 

The thing is, as a homeschooler, I interact with my kids way more than the average public school parent. We don't allow tv at home. But when I am shopping or on a long, boring car ride it is ok with me if the kids have devices to make it easy on them. We frequently hike, volunteer, have three hrs of Church per week, plus Church activities, Family Home Evening every Monday, and we homeschool with rigor. They deserve a break and so do I. We also observe the Sabbath - no shopping, no tv, no electronics...it is old fashioned family time.

[rainbird2]

We were gifted with a trip to Europe in 2010 with all of the cousins, aunts uncles on Hubby's side of the family. There were 6 boys from 17 on down to 5 years old. Do you know that while we were driving to the Acropolis? They were on their game boys with headphones on hunched down in the bus so the light didn't bother the screen. If they were unplugged they were miserable. When we were touring France, Turkey, Italy, Palma de Mallorca, Spain? Same thing. My FIL spent thousands to get them there and they saw a fraction of it because of electronics. That to me is very sad.

 

VERY sad, indeed.

[Amy in NH]

Anyway, just some food for thought. My son doesn't have any kind of diagnosis that is visible or recognizable if you meet him casually, so you'd think he's just a neuro-typical child being spoiled, coddled, indulged, "taught that he must be entertained at all times", etc. but I assure you, that is not the case. At least, not for us. Sometimes there really is more to the story than meets the eye.

 

No offense, but non-neurotypical kids can be taught to cope with and can be supported through a regular shopping trip.

[Heather in Neverland]

Well, we must have all gotten bored with the breast vs. bottle, working mom vs. SAHM, cloth vs. disposable, etc., mommy wars so we need to add a new dimension. :glare:

 

There is nothing INHERENTLY wrong with using electronics to occupy your child. If you don't like it, then that is a meaning YOU have assigned to it. You are not "correct" in terms of "absolute truth." It is just your opinion.

 

Others may think electronics are great for kids. That is not absolute truth either, but their opinion.

 

Also, just because something was done a certain way "back in the good old days" does not mean it is better or more valid. Doing things that way also does not make you a better or more virtuous mother.

 

Maybe your singing itsy bitsy spider to your child in the aisle at the store is just as annoying to me as my child playing on an electronic device is to you. Maybe I wish you would be quiet. I don't take my kids to the grocery store. It is the only hour I get all by myself in a given week. I enjoy the quiet and the solitude and some mom singing a song to her child might get on my nerves.

 

See what I mean? We can do this all day.

 

You can say that you prefer that your own children not play on electronic devices in public. That is your choice. But to extrapolate from that to say that any parent who DOES allow it is bad/lazy/doesn't care, etc., is taking it too far.

[Amy in NH]

I can tell you as an impartial shopper I sure would rather hear a kid play Angry Bird then listen to a mom sing Itsy Bitsy Spider.

 

I wouldn't.

[Catwoman]

I'm not sure anyone is trying to excuse rude behavior.

 

:iagree:

 

A noisy kid is annoying, whether he or she is using electronic devices with the volume turned way up, yelling loudly, or making assorted armpit noises. If a kid is blocking your way in a store and doesn't bother to move when asked nicely, that kid is rude, whether or not he's holding an electronic device.

 

We have electronics in our house. Lots of them. Computers, cell phones, iPads, tablets, gaming systems, etc. And they go with us when we go places. And good heavens, we even use them. :eek:

 

But we probably spend more time hanging out together and interacting with each other than most families do. My dh works at home, and my ds and I are together all day. So if you see us on our devices while we're waiting for our food in a restaurant, you're seeing 10 minutes of our lives, and it's pretty rotten of you to judge us on that basis. it would be totally different if we were bugging you in some way, like turning the volume up on games or something, but we don't do that. We're quieter with our devices turned on than we are when we're just sitting there talking to each other.

 

I know that some of you are anti-electronics for your kids, and if it works for your family, I think that's great. But a lot of us feel differently and live entirely different kinds of lives than you do. We're OK with your kids not watching TV or having game systems or whatever, so I think it's pretty rude that some of you are harshly judging those of us who do have those things.

 

It's mean to call someone a lazy parent, especially someone you don't even know.

[LeslieAnneLevine]

 

 

 

But we probably spend more time hanging out together and interacting with each other than most families do.

 

Suuuuure you do. What are you going to say next? That your son experiences life beyond his electronics, in the real world? :rolleyes: :D

[Catwoman]

 

Suuuuure you do. What are you going to say next? That your son experiences life beyond his electronics, in the real world? :rolleyes: :D

 

:lol: :lol: :lol: :lol:

 

Yup. That's the story I'll be sticking to. :D

[pdalley]

 

No offense, but non-neurotypical kids can be taught to cope with and can be supported through a regular shopping trip.

 

 

Not when they are unable to communicate. My youngest has selective mutism. He needs his iPad to communicate as anxiety makes him unable to verbalize. We are working on it with other methods and he is improving as he gets older. Of course I have three on the autism spectrum - two of which were elopers. They had zero sense of danger. All are 2 1/2 years apart in age. Shopping trips were loads of fun when they were little. We had no one to watch them. We had to grocery shop. I could hardly support all three off them - two of them running in opposite directions - when they were small. I used a leash. I got the nasty looks then. I get them when my youngest has his Ipad. If my boys do have devices to help them wait they ALWAYS have headphones that fit. If I can hear it then it is too loud and is turned down or off immediately. (I have hypersensitive hearing)

 

I suppose that's more 'lazy' parenting. So I used a leash for two of mine when they were small. So I use an Ipad for one and occasionally let the other two have their Ipads or games if they have to wait for a Doctor appointment or I'm trying to shop. We don't take them into restaurants and they are never at the table. Trust me, I interact with my kids for most of their waking hours. They need a break from me sometimes too.

 

It's not a free for all around here. There are rules for use and it is never an excuse for rude behavior.

 

There is such a thing as a happy medium. It's a tool. Some people will use it as a tool and others will use it as a crutch.

 

My mother's method of dealing with my brother and I in public was to slap us in the face but you won't catch me longing for those 'good old days' and I'm certainly not going to follow her example.

 

The Mommy Wars, the Christian Wars, The Homeschool Wars.... I'm sick of it. And people wonder why I'm a hermit. :rolleyes:

[Mom-ninja.]

You got that right. I see this every time I go to a restaurant and there are poor children who cannot seem to handle knives and forks or drink out of a glass without a straw or even sit on their bums in their chairs. I could weep for them. :crying:

 

I agree with manners not really being taught to children anymore. However, my kid is a kid who has hard time using utensils. He gets food all over his face and doesn't even realize it. He frequently spills his drink. He can't sit in a chair without tilting it in some way. Drives me batty. Believe me when I say that we work on these things. A lot. It has been explained to me that my ds has "sensory issues" and in his case his sense of touch and his "awareness" of his body are off. I never knew a person's senses could be "off." If I didn't have my ds I don't think I'd really believe the whole sensory issues thing. Sad but true. I'd look at parents and tsk tsk to myself. But what happened? I gave birth to a child who makes me eat humble pie every single day. Not just a slice either but a whole pie.

 

So, if you ever see my kid at a table eating just give me an understanding smile. I could use one.

 

 

 

Can someone please offer an excuse for the 9 year old that was sitting next to me at a fantastic piano recital, dodging and jerking around (elbowing me!) while playing a video game during the performances? He didn't even turn it off for his sister's performance. His parents didn't ask him to.

 

Let's say he had ADHD or something...could one of the parents have brought him to the back of the recital hall (it was a huge place) and let him move around during the performances?

 

As a classically trained musician, spending 5-8 hours a day practicing during my college years, this made my blood boil at the lack of respect on both the child and parents' behalf. It was very hard for me not to give an evil, judgemental eye to his parents. I just looked forward and tried to enjoy the music. These kids worked their tails off to learn their pieces, and he couldn't take an hour to listen to their hard work? What about 4 minutes to listen to his sister's piece? What kind of manners is he learning?

 

Someone, please, take me down a notch and give me an excuse for the game playing during the recital. I really would like to humble myself here.

 

Just last week at our recital there were parents on their phones texting, playing games, or whatever else during performances. Now, I could see one or two needing to get on their phones to answer emails or text because they were working perhaps. Maybe one of them is an OB and had a patient in labor and he was texting the nurse? I have no idea. The recital was one hour. I'm just wondering if the adults had valid reasons for using their phones during the recital.

[*Lulu*]

 

 

No offense, but non-neurotypical kids can be taught to cope with and can be supported through a regular shopping trip.

 

I have been mulling this over for a bit now. Still feel a mite irritated about it, but not full on offended so I thought I would give it a shot.

 

Sometimes when I take the kids to the store I make them keep a running tab of the amount we need to pay or have them compare unit costs for items. Other times I tell them that our goal is to, "get in and get out with our sanity." If someone chastised me for not making every.single.moment of our day super charged with education I would laugh and bless thier heart for thinking it was any of thier business.

 

Just because I can turn every trip outside the house into an educational drill for my homeschooled children doesn't mean I choose to.

 

Just because I can turn every single trip out side our home into a lesson in coping or an opportunity to stretch the abilities of my SN kids does not mean I must, or even should, choose to.

 

I am pretty confident that not every rudely behaving child at the store is SN, or carrying an electronic device.

 

I am absolutely convinced that most of the rude adults I see at the store are not SN, and I see plenty without electronic devices.

 

The common factor in all the rude people I encounter seems to be that they are human......and breathing.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

Edited to fix a typo

[Serenade]

Years ago DH and I were in Spain and saw a family of tourists with a boy about 9 touring the Alcazar in Seville.

 

Sigh. I love the Alcazar in Seville. I used to live in the Barrio Santa Cruz, and the Alcazar walls were right outside my pension -- I could see them from my window.

[Catwoman]

As I read this thread, I am somewhat saddened by the people who felt that they needed to justify their reasons for allowing their kids to bring electronic devices to stores or restaurants, or in the car with them.

 

They shouldn't need to make excuses.

 

They are doing nothing wrong.

 

They are doing nothing illegal.

 

They are not lazy parents, and they are not ruining their children for life.

 

So... if you're one of the people who felt like you were being judged to the point where you felt the need to defend your personal reasons for allowing your kids to use their devices...... remember that you are the parent of your children, and if you believe that what you're doing is OK, forget about what other people say, because what works for them and their family may not work for you and your family. And that's just fine.

[NorthwestMom]

As I read this thread, I am somewhat saddened by the people who felt that they needed to justify their reasons for allowing their kids to bring electronic devices to stores or restaurants, or in the car with them.

 

They shouldn't need to make excuses.

 

They are doing nothing wrong.

 

They are doing nothing illegal.

 

They are not lazy parents, and they are not ruining their children for life.

 

So... if you're one of the people who felt like you were being judged to the point where you felt the need to defend your personal reasons for allowing your kids to use their devices...... remember that you are the parent of your children, and if you believe that what you're doing is OK, forget about what other people say, because what works for them and their family may not work for you and your family. And that's just fine.

 

 

:iagree:

 

I really could not care less what any stranger thinks of me or my parenting. I'm very secure in my choices and I do not assume I know the whole story behind other people's choices. Most people are doing the best they can for their family. All this judging is so exhausting and changes nothing. :glare:

[NorthwestMom]

in the mid 1970s, my mother had to go back to work after my father passed away, and she paid the neighbor to look after me on school vacations. That lady's solution to the "pesty kids in the store with her" problem was to leave all of us in the car in the parking lot for what felt like hours.

 

So, I think a DS is better.

[Truscifi]

I agree with manners not really being taught to children anymore. However, my kid is a kid who has hard time using utensils. He gets food all over his face and doesn't even realize it. He frequently spills his drink. He can't sit in a chair without tilting it in some way. Drives me batty. Believe me when I say that we work on these things. A lot. It has been explained to me that my ds has "sensory issues" and in his case his sense of touch and his "awareness" of his body are off. I never knew a person's senses could be "off." If I didn't have my ds I don't think I'd really believe the whole sensory issues thing. Sad but true. I'd look at parents and tsk tsk to myself. But what happened? I gave birth to a child who makes me eat humble pie every single day. Not just a slice either but a whole pie.

 

So, if you ever see my kid at a table eating just give me an understanding smile. I could use one.

 

 

You would get one from me. We have a similar issue. Ds9 has no official diagnosis, but the more I read about it, the more I think he has sensory issues. He doesn't notice that he gets food all over his face. He can fall out of a perfectly still, stable chair, while sitting upright and not fidgeting. He hates tags, and has only in the last year been able to tolerate the feel of denim. He can't do or focus on anything else if there is visual stimulation around him (like he can't chew properly if the tv is on...which I should add is only an issue at other people's homes, lest someone decree me a lazy parent). So... :grouphug: . I won't judge.

[BakersDozen]

PrairieSong - I am printing out your response and posting in on my fridge. :)

[LibraryLover]

Well it's true one can't win.

 

Mothers get judged for using backpack 'leashes', they get judged for letting kids walk in the store:

 

"Is it just me, or are people today ignoring their kids in stores?! Don't they know how easy it is for kids to get abducted? Don't mothers care about their children anymore?! I almost ran over a toddler playing in an isle today! She should have been strapped in the cart! When I mentioned to the mother that her child was in danger, she put her child in the basket of the cart! Is that crazy or what? People are so careless. Does anyone else hate those shopping carts that are supposed to be cars? They take the whole isle! What is wrong with mothers today?! And don't get me started! I saw a kid reading /playing on a tablet in the market today! Am I the the only parent who actually interacts with my child while shopping?)

 

Of course I am not judging, it's just my parenting methods are so much better. But really, people should do what they think is best for their own children."

 

Btw, I know a child (not mine) who is very young, and makes delightful and clever play-dough animation films with her iPad. They are very good, and she is still so young! Electronics opens up some pretty amazing ways for techno-savvy kids to be highly creative and imaginative. If a child doesn't have access to this technology, I am not going to post how sad I am that those kids without electronic tools are missing out.

[lynn]

That is annoying. We saw children standing in line at Disney playing games on parents phones and game boys. :confused1:

[kewb]

Electonics use is a family decision. What your family chooses to allow or not allow is none of my business. It is like my father always told me..."You can only drive one car at a time. Yours."

 

Rude behavior is something else. There is nothing wrong with asking someone to lower the volume or to move out of the middle of the aisle. Sometimes people don't realize they are being rude. To be honest, I have stopped in the middle of the aisle to start reading a label and have held up traffic. Someone will say excuse me, I apologize and move. But, I guess that is okay because I am reading a label and not texting my husband to ask which brand of pickles he wants.

 

I've got bigger fish to fry then kvetching about what I think other parents are doing wrong. I get judged plenty for homeschooling, for co-sleeping whne my kids were little, for feeding my kids "that poison in a can" instead of nursing, for working full time and putting them in day care when they were babies, for being too strict, for not being strict enough, for not allowing electronics, for allowing electronics, for not letting my 5 year old watch Spiderman when it was released when all of his friends were allowed, for being too school at home vs. unschooling, for not being school at home enough, for not being a vegan, for buying conventional produce, for eating red meat, for my religion, for my choice in clothes, for canceling cable, for getting on my high horse about people judging others when they have not walked in those shoes.

[TheReader]

 

No offense, but non-neurotypical kids can be taught to cope with and can be supported through a regular shopping trip.

 

 

True, to some extent. If you read my entire post from which you quoted a little snip, you saw all the ways that we did support him and help him cope through the *hours-long* search for jeans for his oldest brother. Being "on" for so long for him, and remember we were also not even in our home country at the time, is exhausting for him.

 

Keeping electronics as ONE of the methods by which we allow him to cope, to retreat into his shell where he has permission to tune out to what's going on around him, is a gift we give him on an as-needed basis, and is far from the only way we help him manage trips, shopping, dinner, etc.

 

 

It's not a free for all around here. There are rules for use and it is never an excuse for rude behavior.

 

There is such a thing as a happy medium. It's a tool. Some people will use it as a tool and others will use it as a crutch.

 

My mother's method of dealing with my brother and I in public was to slap us in the face but you won't catch me longing for those 'good old days' and I'm certainly not going to follow her example.

 

The Mommy Wars, the Christian Wars, The Homeschool Wars.... I'm sick of it. And people wonder why I'm a hermit. :rolleyes:

 

 

*LIKE* ^^^^ This, exactly.

 

We don't let him turn the volume up, and if he wants the noise, he wears earphones and at a level that we cannot hear it, and that he can still hear us speaking to him. We don't let him walk while looking at a screen. We don't let him block aisles. We use electronics sparingly, but sometimes, it is the tool that will work &/or is most appropriate for a given situation.

 

All I ask is that people stop and consider that maybe, just maybe, the mom who is allowing her child to use electronics might be doing so after careful thought or a purposeful decision, not just as a lazy, "I'd rather not interact, so here, shut up!" cop-out action.

[Danestress]

Electonics use is a family decision. What your family chooses to allow or not allow is none of my business. It is like my father always told me..."You can only drive once car at a time.

 

 

What a great Dadism. I will borrow this one!

[PrairieSong]

We were gifted with a trip to Europe in 2010 with all of the cousins, aunts uncles on Hubby's side of the family. There were 6 boys from 17 on down to 5 years old. Do you know that while we were driving to the Acropolis? They were on their game boys with headphones on hunched down in the bus so the light didn't bother the screen. If they were unplugged they were miserable. When we were touring France, Turkey, Italy, Palma de Mallorca, Spain? Same thing. My FIL spent thousands to get them there and they saw a fraction of it because of electronics. That to me is very sad.

 

That is incredibly sad. Did it not bother their parents at all? I don't get that. The parts of your post that jump out at me are "they saw a fraction of it because of electronics" and especially "if they were unplugged they were miserable". It's not the use of any and all electronics that I find disturbing, but the addictive nature of it.

 

When I am at the store I am focused on buying my food and going home. I'm not there to count how many kids are playing with electronics. However, I'm not blind, either, and I notice a trend toward more of it, just like Tara said. She pointedly said she was not judging any one person. I don't think it is wrong to talk about it the trend, and why it might bother some of us. I don't have all the answers, but I do have many questions.

 

It's not my place to call anyone (here, or anyone in general) a bad or lazy parent for using electronics or for other choices. I don't know you or your particular situation. I have been judged, too, for having a large family, for my religion, for homeschooling, and on and on. I was once judged for not always wearing my wedding ring in public. Men might hit on me. People might see me with several kids and think I am a loose woman. Okaaaay. Honestly, I do not stay up at night worrying about electronic use, or bottle over breast feeding, or educational choices, or whether people are buying birthday cake with food stamps, or whether they are wearing their wedding rings.

 

I still think we can discuss varying opinions without name calling or thinking everyone who chooses X is automatically judging those who choose Y. I find the different opinions very interesting. I don't always just want to talk to others who agree with me. Maybe a drama free discussion in such a large, busy forum with so many ideas flying around is not likely to happen. I wish it could.

[trlt]

My dd sometimes plays with an electronic device when we shop..mostly because I am tired and she is cranky because she doesn't want to shop in the first place but we need to get errands done. We have schooled all day and we have done projects and she's played outside and so I give her some screen time so I can get through the store without her asking for candy/toys/etc or hear her whine about having to go shopping. I have no judgment about parents letting kids use devices while shopping or wherever.

 

My issue is with adults who use devices when they should know better. My SIL and BIL both were on the cell phones for the ENTIRE thanksgiving dinner. I don't know if they were texting or playing games or whatever but their eyes were glued to the phones the entire time. It was so rude. They do it all the time, not just at thanksgiving dinner but any time we see them. I don't think it's us that causes this because we are never with just them, it's the whole family that gets together. BTW, they are in their early 30's.

[JumpedIntoTheDeepEndFirst]

Electronic devices have their time and place-my kids have them and use them too. But hey-I'm also the queen of demanding that the kids/teens I interact with remove their earbuds/headphones when speaking to me or each other. Electronic devices shouldn't replace communication and interaction with real people who are physically present. And I agree with the previous posters-adults are every bit as bad as the kids.

[Hwin]

It kind of scares me because technology is just gaining more and more ground - it's not like I can say "actually, we're not going to use any devices." Sure, I can make that choice for a little while but it's still coming for me! And... I don't want to completely eschew having a phone or a tablet or a video game system, but it becomes this constant setting of limits, a thing for my husband and I to argue about, a privilege to hang over my 7yo's head (you can play your DS but first you must do your chores and your schoolwork and brush your teeth and pick up your clothes off the floor...) As you can imagine, we do have rules about electronics in public and I generally don't allow it, because when it comes time to put them down, "I don't have a spot to save it!" or "I'm really close to the end of the level!"

[PrairieSong]

It kind of scares me because technology is just gaining more and more ground - it's not like I can say "actually, we're not going to use any devices." Sure, I can make that choice for a little while but it's still coming for me! And... I don't want to completely eschew having a phone or a tablet or a video game system, but it becomes this constant setting of limits, a thing for my husband and I to argue about, a privilege to hang over my 7yo's head (you can play your DS but first you must do your chores and your schoolwork and brush your teeth and pick up your clothes off the floor...) As you can imagine, we do have rules about electronics in public and I generally don't allow it, because when it comes time to put them down, "I don't have a spot to save it!" or "I'm really close to the end of the level!"

 

Well, it IS all around, everywhere, but it's not "coming for you". You still have a choice what to have in your home and how much to let your kids use it.

 

We have never had the Gameboy type small games, but we did allow 19yo ds to once buy a Game Cube with his own money. He was 12 I think. I saw firsthand how addictive it can be, and I hated, hated, hated that it was the focus of his existence for a while. He was either playing it, or thinking about playing it, it seemed. The games take so long to get through, so many levels. He tuned everything else out while playing it. He got mad when we set time limits. He wasn't happy playing for an hour and then stopping. It was a short period in our family history, but I did learn something from it. It was more trouble than it was worth. YMMV

 

So no, you don't have to buy any certain device or game system just because the rest of the world seems to have one.

[Catwoman]

That is annoying. We saw children standing in line at Disney playing games on parents phones and game boys. :confused1:

 

Seriously? :confused:

 

If I had to stand in those lines at Disney, I'd want something to help occupy my time, too! Standing in line is boring! Personally, I'd much rather see kids quietly occupied with their games, than telling everyone in line how bored they, are every few minutes for an hour... at every single ride.

 

Would you have felt differently if they'd had books instead? Because most people would say that kids are so cute and studious if they're reading instead of playing games, but in truth, either activity distances them from their immediate environment.

[Joker]

Seriously? :confused:

 

If I had to stand in those lines at Disney, I'd want something to help occupy my time, too! Standing in line is boring! Personally, I'd much rather see kids quietly occupied with their games, than telling everyone in line how bored they, are every few minutes for an hour... at every single ride.

 

Would you have felt differently if they'd had books instead? Because most people would say that kids are so cute and studious if they're reading instead of playing games, but in truth, either activity distances them from their immediate environment.

 

I was thinking the same thing but was going to let it pass. Waiting in line at Disney is boring and it goes on ride after ride all day! If we had smartphones the last time we were there, we so would have all been playing on them. It doesn't mean there wasn't plenty of family bonding time and awesome things we saw while on vacation either.

[BarbecueMom]

Would you have felt differently if they'd had books instead? Because most people would say that kids are so cute and studious if they're reading instead of playing games, but in truth, either activity distances them from their immediate environment.

 

 

My cousin and I are the same age, and we both used to read books in "inappropriate places" growing up - school, recess, parties, etc. We were teased and called out on our antisocial behavior, but reading in public was sort of a bat signal for other nerds so we could find our brethren. Now, everyone's reading something on a phone and I don't know who is who or what they're reading. It's like a social minefield.

[vonfirmath]

That is annoying. We saw children standing in line at Disney playing games on parents phones and game boys. :confused1:

 

 

With how long the lines have gotten, I'm glad kids have another option while they wait rather than asking "How much farther" and annoying their neighbors, etc. This sounds like a perfect time to play games and game boys if you happen to have them around. Let the parents be the deciding factor when the kids have spent too much time on electronics and not enough on the vacation -- the parents are the ones paying for it.

[Moxie]

That is annoying. We saw children standing in line at Disney playing games on parents phones and game boys. :confused1:

 

I'm sorry but what should they have been doing?!? Watercolors?? Meditation??

[LeslieAnneLevine]

I'm sorry but what should they have been doing?!? Watercolors?? Meditation??

 

Staring at the back of the people in front of them and liking it!

[kitten18]

That is annoying. We saw children standing in line at Disney playing games on parents phones and game boys. :confused1:

:confused1: :confused1: :confused1:

We were at Disneyland yesterday. We waited in line 65 minutes for a Cars racing ride (the longest I have ever waited in a Disneyland line). *I* checked my email, texted, etc. DD stood there bored out of her mind. DS made friends with a group on teenage girls in front of us. If my kids had electronics with them, I would have let them play with them.

 

I'm not sure how they were supposed to benefit from standing in line? Take in the beautiful man-made scenery? Learn all about the culture of Cars Land? I'm sure I missed many learning/bonding opportunities.

[msjones]

Egads.

[Hwin]

Well, it IS all around, everywhere, but it's not "coming for you". You still have a choice what to have in your home and how much to let your kids use it.

 

We have never had the Gameboy type small games, but we did allow 19yo ds to once buy a Game Cube with his own money. He was 12 I think. I saw firsthand how addictive it can be, and I hated, hated, hated that it was the focus of his existence for a while. He was either playing it, or thinking about playing it, it seemed. The games take so long to get through, so many levels. He tuned everything else out while playing it. He got mad when we set time limits. He wasn't happy playing for an hour and then stopping. It was a short period in our family history, but I did learn something from it. It was more trouble than it was worth. YMMV

 

So no, you don't have to buy any certain device or game system just because the rest of the world seems to have one.

My 7yo is showing those same traits. We are a video game family, for sure, but we're also a play outside, read books, have fun with board games family. I want to be able to have my cake and eat it, too. Is that too much to ask? :p

[PinkyandtheBrains.]

Verbally accosting a mother in a Denny's restroom to tell her she is a bad parent, and has no family values, because she allowed her children to play on electronic devices (quietly with sound off) while waiting on the food to come, is much worse than the electronic usage.

 

So much judgmental nonsense.

 

Good job at ripping other parents apart because their choices aren't yours.

[LibraryLover]

On occasion, I've read the WTM boards on my smartphone while waiting in Disney Lines. I've also uploaded photos while sitting by the pool.

 

Point to Slytherin.

[LibraryLover]

My 7yo is showing those same traits. We are a video game family, for sure, but we're also a play outside, read books, have fun with board games family. I want to be able to have my cake and eat it, too. Is that too much to ask? :p

 

 

Maybe I am not tech savvy enough, but is there a way to save progress in games in which levels are not complete? My nephew and I play Lego Harry Potter Xbox together, and we've often been frustrated by the inability to save a game. If you stop at a certain place, before you complete a level, all gains made are lost. It's so frustrating.

[PinkyandtheBrains.]

 

 

Maybe I am not tech savvy enough, but is there a way to save levels in games which are not complete. My nephew and I play Lego Harry Potter Xbox, and we've often been frustrated by the inability to save a game. If you stop at a certain place, before you complete a level, all gains made are lost. It's so frustrating.

 

 

It depends on the game. Most games on console systems like Xbox require you get to specified save spots. So no you can't just randomly save whenever. I always tell my boys they have x number of minutes to go back to, or get to a save spot. Most phone or iPod based games auto-save.

 

It is frustrating, especially since some games require quite a bit of time to get from one save point to another.

[PrairieSong]

My 7yo is showing those same traits. We are a video game family, for sure, but we're also a play outside, read books, have fun with board games family. I want to be able to have my cake and eat it, too. Is that too much to ask? :p

 

It's all about mindful parenting really. Find the balance that works for your family. I hated what I was seeing in my son and it was very hard to get him to use moderation. He was GROUCHY. I am glad that it's over. Interestingly, because of this thread I asked him today whether he might someday buy a game system for his future kids and he said, "Probably not."

[PrairieSong]

On occasion, I've read the WTM boards on my smartphone while waiting in Disney Lines. I've also uploaded photos while sitting by the pool.

 

Point to Slytherin.

 

:lol: Now you've put an image in my head of a Harry Potter world where all the students have electronic devices, iPhones, etc. Avada kedavra could be just another app.

[JFSinIL]

Kids engrossed in looking at a toy in the store or poking each other in the eye or whatever could also have been blocking your cart - so you get their attention and move on. Doesn't have to be an electronic device. I agree with everyone so far who has noted that you do not know the whole story - nor do you need to know - not your kids, not your problem. Don't judge.

 

I had a woman give my tall son the stink-eye once and start to mutter at his "rudeness" when she asked him to reach an item on a top shelf in the grocery store and he did not respond. She obviously felt embarrassed when I moved in and (I am shorter than she was !) reached it for her, commenting quietly (so my son would not hear) "Sorry - he has autism and won't respond".

 

You just never know.

 

Now - can we start lambasting the REAL rude folks - the drivers who are too busy yakking on the phone to shut-up and DRIVE? Dude - the light turned green ten seconds ago and we are all about to miss our turn if you don't MOVE! Put the phone down!