Here's something I didn't know about public school

[Giraffe]

That was the rule in one of my elementary schools. I was caught talking and the punishment was to take my tray and stand on the stage (combined theatre/cafeteria), holding my tray, waiting for the meal to end. Nope, I couldn't eat, or put the tray down. Just stand there, a la Jane Eyre on her stool. Once lunch was over I was told to bus my tray and return to class. No more lunch for me that day.

 

Never spoke during lunch again that year. Moved that summer to another state.

[K&Rs Mom]

A quick poll of the nieces and nephew I'm visiting - grades 4, 7, and 9 public schooled - they have never heard of silent lunch and all 3 immediately answered, "That's mean!"

[Crimson Wife]

My elementary school did not have a cafeteria so we ate brown bag lunches at our desks (assigned seating). I vaguely remember lights being flicked if we got too loud.

 

At the secondary school I attended there was a cafeteria and no assigned seating. We were permitted to eat outside on nice days. I think they probably did stagger the schedule so that the jr. high students had lunch earlier than the sr. high ones but I don't specifically recall.

[justamouse]

Wow, I had no idea, but now I'll have to ask!

[KungFuPanda]

That's sad! My kids have gone through primary at Montessori schools. Their lunches I thought were lovely. They randomly choose tables at the beginning of the week which encourages kids to branch out with classmates, and kids sit at tables of two, three, or four. They dim the lights and play soft music. You can chat with tablemates. There's a little vase of flowers on the table, placemats, napkins, metal forks and spoons, real glasses with a water pitcher. They get the tables ready for lunch, have outside recess, come in and eat. After lunch, they clean up (wipe the tables, placemats and napkins put in hamper, sweep up crumbs, wash the glassware and silverware) and the lights stay dim while the teacher reads aloud. I have wanted to try that at home, but the baby and the dogs and cats just won't play along with my romantic notions! :)

 

 

My daughter showed me a photo of her lunch table the other day. They had a tablecloth and matching plates and napkins. This is high school. I don't know WHY they were fancy that day. This was just my weird kid and her friends; not a school-wide thing.

 

They have a daycare in their school for the teachers. A couple teachers always bring their preschoolers to the cafeteria and they eat with them and the big kids. Everyone seems to love it.

[Aslana]

I went to elementary school in the late 70's, early 80's. We did not have a traffic light, but we did have the monitors hold up two fingers in the peace sign. We didn't have to sit exactly in the same spot every day, but we did sit with our class as that's how you lined up.

 

In middle and high school, it was a free for all.

 

But, as for what's going on--it's nothing more than crowd control. Even when my kids were in elementary school, they had no choice to do this because there were only two lunch schedules, which meant in a school of 500, 250 students were eating at a time.

 

I went to school in the south and west. My kids went to school in the south.

[toawh]

That is how it is done here. Not at all like when I went to school a few decades ago. As much as I disagree with the policy I kind of understand it. Lunch is brief and the kids need to eat. If they spend all of their time talking they don't eat. Heaven forbid they should have more then 20 minutes to eat lunch.

 

I live in France and French people that I know are appalled that American schools provide anything less than 45 minutes for a meal. When I tell them that Americans often eat in their cars or while walking they are in shock. In fact they don't believe me.

More on topic: I think it is very odd that work places must provide breaks for employees, but that elementary students are expected to work non-stop without recess.

[texasmama]

This was the case at my dd's private school in the elementary grades (the no talking rule). I don't believe seats were assigned.

[LucyStoner]

I attended more than 10 schools between K and 7th grade, in 3 states and 6 districts and never saw anything like this. My son's schools from K and 1st before we started hs were not like this either. I've heard of it but I've never encountered it. I agree that it seems absurd.

[HappyLady]

This reminds me of the first time I ever got in trouble in school. I was in the 4th grade and we always had quiet time at the end of our lunch period. I think we had about a half hour of talk time and then about 15 minutes of silence. If you were caught talking during silent time you had to stand facing the wall in front of everyone in the cafeteria. Well, the girl sitting across from me went to grab some of my food that was left and I shook my head 'no.' That's it. I was immediately reprimanded and had to go stand facing the wall. I remember when I went back to class I was still so upset that I put my head down and just cried. My teacher told everyone to leave me alone. It's funny the things I remember from school. Can't say I have many fond memories. :glare:

[lynn]

There were kids at dd school that sat at a separate "silent lunch" table if they acted up in the classroom otherwise the kids could talk quietly at their lunch table. Each class has an assigned table but not assigned seats.

[sewingmama]

So now I am curious. Do these schools have playtime? From what I'm reading they eat lunch and head straight back to class.

 

My DH is a school principal. His school (K-12) has a 10 minute fruit time where they take a break and eat fruit at their desk. Then 20 minutes morning tea time where the kids are sent outside to eat a snack and play and then 45 minute lunchtime ...again the kids eat outside and play.

 

It sounds like kids in the US are not playing. How does anyone put up with that? I can't imagine being a teacher and trying to control a bunch of kids that haven't had a playtime break and as a parent ...well I'd definitely homeschool as I think it's cruel.

 

 

[PinkyandtheBrains.]

Our local school allows talking, no eating happens. Lunch's are thrown away after the short 15-20 minutes they have for lunch.

[Farrar]

Ack. This thread reminds me of my middle school. Assigned seating at lunch. Enforced silent times. It wasn't fun at any point, but during eighth grade I was seated with these guys I barely knew who just made weird, often sexual comments to me - they were all friends at this one table... and me, who didn't know any of them. So it was always a relief when they were enforcing the silence, to be honest. I used to hum and go to a special place in my head and just wait for it to be over. I actually stopped bringing food to eat in eighth grade because it was so depressing. I had to eat at another time.

 

But here's the kicker - a teacher came up to me after lunch one day and said something along the lines of, "You seem kind of sad at lunch. And you don't seem to talk to anyone." I remember I was so flabbergasted I didn't even know what to say. I was just like, really? Really? Do you really not get it? I think I literally sputtered at her and never managed to formulate a response.

[MrsBasil]

Ack. This thread reminds me of my middle school. Assigned seating at lunch. Enforced silent times. It wasn't fun at any point, but during eighth grade I was seated with these guys I barely knew who just made weird, often sexual comments to me - they were all friends at this one table... and me, who didn't know any of them. So it was always a relief when they were enforcing the silence, to be honest. I used to hum and go to a special place in my head and just wait for it to be over. I actually stopped bringing food to eat in eighth grade because it was so depressing. I had to eat at another time.

 

But here's the kicker - a teacher came up to me after lunch one day and said something along the lines of, "You seem kind of sad at lunch. And you don't seem to talk to anyone." I remember I was so flabbergasted I didn't even know what to say. I was just like, really? Really? Do you really not get it? I think I literally sputtered at her and never managed to formulate a response.

:grouphug:

 

 

I remember being teased at lunch in elementary school, so I started bringing a book to lunch. I had to stop, because I got in trouble for not talking. So I stared at a wall instead. That made the aide's much happier.

 

The same aide's who would turn the light red and tell people lunch wasn't for socializing.

[Desert Rat]

My first grade teacher taped my mouth shut for talking during lunch. I went to a private school and we ate lunch in our classrooms. She was a mean woman. And no, I didn't eat. And I got yelled at by Mom because I didn't eat my lunch. I was too embarassed to tell her what Mrs. Lee had done. Yeah. That's not gonna stay with me or anything....

[SKL]

Well, I agree school is a lot like prison. (Not that I've been to prison.) But I have never been in a school where lunch is a no-talking zone. I do think it is normal for the adults to shush the kids in various ways so they don't go overboard with the noise and craziness. I do understand this. What if someone needs to make an announcement? The traffic light idea sounds good to me. There's nothing wrong with encouraging kids to moderate their noise in a cafeteria. It seems like a useful life skill. I certainly don't let my kids holler and carouse in restaurants.

[SKL]

My first grade teacher taped my mouth shut for talking during lunch. I went to a private school and we ate lunch in our classrooms. She was a mean woman. And no, I didn't eat. And I got yelled at by Mom because I didn't eat my lunch. I was too embarassed to tell her what Mrs. Lee had done. Yeah. That's not gonna stay with me or anything....

Whoa. Did you happen to have my kids' teacher? She's been at it for 25 years. I should find out if her maiden name was Lee. You would think in this day and age, they would know that starving a 6yo would raise eyebrows.

[Melissa in Australia]

So now I am curious. Do these schools have playtime? From what I'm reading they eat lunch and head straight back to class.

 

My DH is a school principal. His school (K-12) has a 10 minute fruit time where they take a break and eat fruit at their desk. Then 20 minutes morning tea time where the kids are sent outside to eat a snack and play and then 45 minute lunchtime ...again the kids eat outside and play.

 

It sounds like kids in the US are not playing. How does anyone put up with that? I can't imagine being a teacher and trying to control a bunch of kids that haven't had a playtime break and as a parent ...well I'd definitely homeschool as I think it's cruel.

 

I am reading it the same way as you.

[GSOchristie]

I stopped teaching five years ago, but our public school schedule looked like this:

7:50-8:30: morning work, turn in assignments, morning announcements, free reading (no talking)

8:30-10:00: subject work (limited talking to group member IF they were assigned group work, no talking otherwise)

10:00-10:20: snack at your desk (you could talk quietly with those sitting around you, who weren't your close friends because there was a seating chart :)

10:20-12:00: subject work (limited talking to group member IF they were assigned group work, no talking otherwise)

12:00-12:25: lunch (first 15 min no talking, last 10 talk quietly, if it got too loud, lights out, silent lunch)

12:30-12:50: recess outside unles raining

12:50-2:00: subject work (limited talking to group member IF they were assigned group work, no talking otherwise)

2:00-2:45: specials

2:55: dismissal

 

This was a 4th grade class in a huge, poor, underperforming school. The last year I was there, the students in 3rd-5th grade performed poorly on their 3rd quarter benchmarks, like in the 25%tile, so the principal suspended recess until SOL's to use that time for test prep.

 

This was the set up because these kids got out of control at the drop of a hat. We also had 25-28 kids per class, with no assisstants. They were never taught self control, and by the time they got to me, I didn't have time to teach it. I was too busy putting out behavior fires and prepping for SOL's. It was seriously the most stressful job I've ever done.

 

Asher is only in K this year, and I'm sure the kindys were less structured, but right now our schedule is school from 8:00-10:00, with a 15 minute snack break at 9:00, and a total seated time of about 30 minutes. From 10:00-7:00, he is in constant motion and asking a constant stream of questions, I can practically see the neurons in his brain branching and growing:). It would kill me a little inside to send him to a public school :(.

[Melissa in Australia]

Wow! hardly any physical exercise at all!.

the school I was working in last year had this timetable.

school starts at 9.00, 20 minutes of physical activity called huff and puff. get drink and go into classroom class settled by 9.30. subject work until 10.45. during morning subject work a plate of fruit would be passed around for students to snack on. 10.45 recess (students running around wildly in yard getting exercise. 11.15 class resumes till 1 pm lunch break. students grab their lunchbox and run around wildly outside getting heaps of exercise 1.45 whole school silent reading til 2.05. 2.05 to 3.15 subject work. school finish at 3.15

[Catherine]

I can honestly see both sides. I'm all for freedom of choice, and it honestly used to make me nuts that the school cafeteria sometimes did not allow any talking. OTOH, assigned seating would be a good way to address bullying and I'm in favor if that. It's a form of "supervision" that makes sense-lack of supervision IMO is one of the biggest contributors to bullying.

[Desert Rat]

Whoa. Did you happen to have my kids' teacher? She's been at it for 25 years. I should find out if her maiden name was Lee. You would think in this day and age, they would know that starving a 6yo would raise eyebrows.

 

 

Ha! Yeah, she was a peach. Also wouldn't let me use the bathroom so I had an accident. :( Told me the devil lived in the TV. When my mom turned on the TV that night I flipped out. My mom went all momma bear on that one. LOL

Her married name was Lee. She got married half way through my first grade year. Her maiden name was an animal. I remember my mouth being taped shut many times.

[happymomofboys]

I can honestly see both sides. I'm all for freedom of choice, and it honestly used to make me nuts that the school cafeteria sometimes did not allow any talking. OTOH, assigned seating would be a good way to address bullying and I'm in favor if that. It's a form of "supervision" that makes sense-lack of supervision IMO is one of the biggest contributors to bullying.

 

 

I wasn't free from lunchtime bullying until I got to high school and was no longer required to enter the cafeteria. Being forced to sit across from kids who don't like you and mock everything you say, do, and eat does not lead to less bullying.

[Mommy22alyns]

My son went to public school for 1st and 2nd grade. I always sent sack lunches, but one day my son told me that he wished he could have a hot dog from the hot lunch counter. When I told him that he could and that I would give him the money, he replied that he would NEVER buy a hot lunch at school because the line was so long that by the time the kids at the end of the line got their lunches, they only had a few minutes to eat, and that if they didn't eat fast enough, they had to go stand by the wall and finish eating while standing up.

 

I don't know if this was a logistics issue because of other kids coming in to the cafeteria or not, but it always made me feel bad for those kids.

 

 

 

It was like this when I was in high school. I never once bought a lunch there and hardly stepped foot in the cafeteria.

[Word Nerd]

I vaguely remember having a traffic light in our lunchroom, but I don't remember it ever going off. Maybe it wasn't functional. My memories of grade school are so fuzzy!

[T'smom]

 

 

I wasn't free from lunchtime bullying until I got to high school and was no longer required to enter the cafeteria. Being forced to sit across from kids who don't like you and mock everything you say, do, and eat does not lead to less bullying.

 

I'm sure that happens, but it could also go another way. If I'm the teacher and I know that A and B pick on C, but that D and E are all around nice kids who get along with anyone, I can put D and E with C and keep A and B at a separate table. This doesn't work if ALL the kids are picking on 1 student. But there are usually a couple nice kids in any given class.

[happymomofboys]

I'm sure that happens, but it could also go another way. If I'm the teacher and I know that A and B pick on C, but that D and E are all around nice kids who get along with anyone, I can put D and E with C and keep A and B at a separate table. This doesn't work if ALL the kids are picking on 1 student. But there are usually a couple nice kids in any given class.

 

In my personal experience the teachers didn't care enough to do anything about it. I hope that's changed with the new anti-bullying campaigns. My experiences were a large influence on my choice to homeschool.

[Forget-Me-Not]

That would have me storming the school within 10 minutes.

Just think about that. Time is sooooooo precious in school now that we aren't going to make the time for children to wash potential fecal matter and bacteria off their hands. Really?? What the heck are you teaching that is sooooo important that we need to cut that out? Because honestly, teaching my kids how to properly wash their hands is one of those life skills I'd put right up there on the list. :glare: :scared:

 

Interestingly my 5 yo nephews (twins) have the opposite problem. The teachers have them washing their hands so frequently (I think SIL counted 5-6 times during half-day preschool) that they are chapped and cracking.

 

It seems common sense is becoming a precious commodity.

[AimeeM]

When dd was at private school, the first 10 minutes of lunch was silent (right after prayer, if I remember correctly). After that, they could talk quietly; if it got too loud, they were silent again.

At both the private and public school, she could only ever sit with her class.

[Mom0012]

What do you suggest then, to make sure the kids are eating lunch? It can get awfully loud in the lunch room. I assume when it's loud, not much eating is going on. I only have 3 kids, and when mine get out of control at dinner, we implement the no talking rule. Did you observe recess? I can guarantee plenty of socializing gets done during that time, not to mention other times.

 

Just like in adult life, in large group settings there are appropriate times for quiet and appropriate times for playing.

 

Longer lunches. 20 minutes is not long enough. Lunch should be a social time, IMO. They should have time to talk and eat.

[Mom2Es]

We had the traffic light (with siren) in upper elementary school in the late 80's. They basically had to because the cafeteria was so close to the classrooms that the noise would disturb classes (recess and lunch times were all staggered by class and not related to each other). If the light went to yellow, everyone would start saying, "Sshhhhh!" and the noise of THAT would usually make it go to red and then everyone had to be silent for a few minutes. If it went to red more than once, you had to be silent the rest of lunch time. If you got caught talking when you weren't supposed to be, you got write-offs. Not something dinky like "I will not talk at lunch," either. It was a paragraph.

 

We always had to sit with our class until junior high. In lower elementary, the teachers ate in the lunch room with the class, but in upper elementary, the teachers ate in the lounge and the P.E. teachers and principal monitored the cafeteria. I don't ever remember lunch being longer than 20 minutes. I usually took my lunch because I didn't like standing in line and also because the cafeteria food was gross.

 

I also remember that often the restrooms did not have doors on the stalls, so everyone would take turns standing in front of the stall to be a flimsy "human door." If you had to go in the restroom on your own, you were out of luck in that regard and just hoped nobody walked in while you were doing your business.

[TechWife]

When I was in elementary school in the early 70's, we had a traffic light, but it was rare for it to be on red. When my son was in a private school for a few years in the early nought's, they were not allowed to talk during lunch at all - one of the many reasons we left.

[sueh16]

That's how it was when I was a child. We had assigned seats in the cafeteria and we could talk quietly. If it got too noisy or if too many kids were fooling around, we'd have "silent lunch." We had to raise our hands if we wanted to get out of our seats, even if it was just to throw away our trash. After lunch we lined up with our class and we were escorted out to recess by the teacher on duty. I never really gave it much thought because that was how it was always done.

[Erin]

Well, I think we've established that we definitely aren't talking about a "something about public schools" thing, since a lot of us have never heard of this stuff!

 

For perspective, I've been subbing for 15 years in dozens of small town schools all over Nebraska, South Dakota and Kansas.

 

1. I've never seen a silent lunch unless the kids were REALLY noisy and the lunch monitors had hit their tolerance for the day! lol

2. Kids usually have to sit at the table with their classmates, just because that's who they have their lunch period with. Sometimes they'll have a seating order, sometimes they won't.

3. The stoplight thing has been a common tool for decades (usually in classrooms) as a visual indicator of acceptable noise level. Never seen a functional one, though.

4. Many lunchrooms require permission to clear trays. "May I be excused?"

It's really for the same reason as teaching kids to say, "Yes, please" or "No thanks" when choosing their meal, though...it's manners.

5. I've never worked in a school system where elementary kids had less than 2 recesses per day. Some schools even have three, or they have two recesses and daily PE.

6. All schools "allow" parents to visit at any time during the day, within reason. (Ie, not during things like testing)

 

But these are all schools of less than 400 students, K-12, so I don't have any idea what ya'll do in the big cities! ;)

[T'smom]

 

 

In my personal experience the teachers didn't care enough to do anything about it. I hope that's changed with the new anti-bullying campaigns. My experiences were a large influence on my choice to homeschool.

 

 

I'm sorry. I used to be a teacher and I cared. And I know others who cared. But I also knew ones that didn't care or were clueless. Of course, I can't promise that there weren't some situations where I was clueless. As a child, I was one of the kids who was too terrified of being picked on that I didn't stand up for those who were. The biggest bully in my class was my friend, she lived across the street and I was supposed to walk to/from school with her every day. I was so scared of her turning on me.

 

Anyway, my experiences made me choose to homeschool too.

[jennynd]

Asked DS, there is no rule on talking during lunch time. His elementary school has 700+ kids.

[LibraryLover]

Is silent lunch like SWB's 1-3 PM Enforced Nap Time? She doesn't even let her kids leave their rooms! lol

 

:laugh:

[KungFuPanda]

Is silent lunch like SWB's 1-3 PM enforced Nap Time? She doesn't even let her kids leave their rooms! lol

:laugh:

 

Awesome!

 

To be clear . . .if homeschoolers do it, it is wise and beneficial to all concerned. If a school does it, it is cruel and abusive. Try to keep it straight.

[momofkhm]

No idea about the public schools around here but when my girls were at the local private for several years it would go back and forth. Some teachers allowed talking, some didn't. Some did read-alouds during lunch. But for the most part, lunch was at your desk. Some times they would go outside and eat on the sidewalk. This was elementary. We left before middle school, so no idea what those kids do.