A home for their hearts Posted March 12, 2013 Share Posted March 12, 2013 We found out about a month ago that baby number 6 is on it's way. We were not planning on having any more, we were done, I was done. I was so nervous when my period was late, I took 2 pregnancy tests and they both came back positive. Shock doesn't even begin to describe what I was feeling! I think I'm still in shock. My dh is taking the news better than I am. I am a nervous wreck! I'm having a hard enough time with the 5 kids I already have. I don't mean to sound unloving, or ungrateful. I've lost both of my grandmother's within 4 months of each other, both were very surprising and unexpected illnesses. I think I was just begining to process the death of my paternal grandma, when we found out that my maternal grandma was dying. With both of them, from the time we found out they were dying till they died was less than 2 weeks. So that has been a lot to take on. I've been doing the best I can not to slip into depression but some days are a lot better than others. Now that I am pregnant, I am extremely exhuasted. It's all I can do to get out of bed in the morning. I'm tired from the moment I get up until the moment I go to bed. By early afternoon I have no energy at all, even doing school work with my dc in the afternoon feels like I'm running a marathon. I am over weight, I weigh more now than I ever did at the end of any of my pregnancys. I think that has a lot to do with my energy level. Then I have a very wild 2 year old, who causes all kinds of havic all day long. Disicpling him is a nightmare and takes more energy than I have. Some virtual hugs would be great! And thanks for listening to me vent. We haven't told anyone irl yet, we also wait until after the first ultrasound. Even when we do tell people I know we will get a lot of, "I thought you were done?!?!", and stupid snarky remarks. So I'm not really excited about telling anybody. Maybe I won't show and I can just call people from the hospital and say "surprise, I just had a baby!" Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Twigs Posted March 12, 2013 Share Posted March 12, 2013 :grouphug: :grouphug: :grouphug: Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Forget-Me-Not Posted March 12, 2013 Share Posted March 12, 2013 CONGRATS!! And hugs! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Dandelion Posted March 12, 2013 Share Posted March 12, 2013 Congrats on your pregnancy! I'm sorry you're feeling so stressed right now. :grouphug: I agree with not telling the people that will only counter with snarky remarks. You don't need that. Maybe your older kids can help out a bit more to ease your stress? Wishing you a safe and easy pregnancy. :grouphug: Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
mumto2 Posted March 12, 2013 Share Posted March 12, 2013 :grouphug: I just wanted to add that I am so sorry about your grandmas. That is a lot of unexpected sadness for anyone to process. Please be kind to yourself and don't worry about other people's comments. : grouphug: Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
liber Posted March 12, 2013 Share Posted March 12, 2013 BTDT My #6 surprise is 6mths now. He truly is a blessing. When I found out though I was very upset and depressed about the whole thing. I just didn't know how I was going to handle everything. My youngest at the time was only a year and half and still nursing. My oldest I was having trouble with. My uncle was dying. The morning sickness was very debilitating I was in bed for about 5 mths/ Homeschooling barely got done. The older boys helped alot but I felt so guilty that they were running the house.I found out a month later my oldest got his girlfriend pregnant. My grandson is a week younger than my #6. But you know what, I did get through it even though at the time I didn't think I would. I felt tons better after the baby was born. I wasn't as tired and life did return to new normal. You just have to hang on for the ride and it does get better. :grouphug: Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
besroma Posted March 12, 2013 Share Posted March 12, 2013 :grouphug: :grouphug: :grouphug: Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Melissa in Australia Posted March 12, 2013 Share Posted March 12, 2013 :grouphug: Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Hypatia. Posted March 12, 2013 Share Posted March 12, 2013 :grouphug: We were done after #4, Havoc who most definitely lives up to his name. The news that #5 was on the way was a huge shock, I had a wide range of emotions and thoughts (some of them I'm not proud of) and it took a while to adjust to the news. Except for friends who I knew would be supportive and my mom who happened to be visiting while I was waiting on blood test results, we just kept the news quiet. Some family members didn't find out until they saw pictures of me visibly pregnant. After the horrible reactions we got to #4, we decided this was the way to go. The pregnancy was rough, I was definitely feeling my age, but we all made it through and now my surprise Caboose just turned 2 months old. I'm sorry about the loss of your grandmother. And congratulations on the pending new addition! I hope you find your peace and this pregnancy is quietly uneventful. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
gardenmom5 Posted March 12, 2013 Share Posted March 12, 2013 :grouphug: to those who make snarky remarks, just look them in the eye and thank them that they are so thrilled for you. (daring them to deny it.) Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Tap Posted March 12, 2013 Share Posted March 12, 2013 (((((((((hugs)))))))) Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Lisa in SC Posted March 12, 2013 Share Posted March 12, 2013 I'm so sorry for your loss of your grandmothers! That truly is a lot to process, and you need time to grieve. I know you're in shock about this new pregnancy, but this baby will be such a blessing! You just need to be gentle with yourself, and do see a doctor if you feel like depression is getting the better of you. Congratulations and lots of (((hugs)))! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
fraidycat Posted March 12, 2013 Share Posted March 12, 2013 :grouphug: :grouphug: Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
LittleIzumi Posted March 12, 2013 Share Posted March 12, 2013 Congratulations and (((hugs)))! This one was a total surprise, too. It took me until 7 mo pg or so to truly adjust and be looking forward to it. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
ashfern Posted March 12, 2013 Share Posted March 12, 2013 :grouphug: :grouphug: I'm pregnant with surprise #5. We haven't told anyone else yet. I had a m/c in the fall and only a handful of people know I was even pregnant. None of them are family. I'm not sure when we'll tell my mom as she wasn't happy about #3 or 4. :glare: Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
lmrich Posted March 12, 2013 Share Posted March 12, 2013 Taking a prenatal can help a tiny bit with fatigue, but now is the time to rest. Sorry about your losses. Congrats on your baby. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Mama Geek Posted March 12, 2013 Share Posted March 12, 2013 Congrads on your baby! I am sorry to hear about your grandparents. :grouphug: I always hate it when my dh tells me this but can you find 15 or 20 minutes a day to get out by yourself and go for a walk or a bike ride to get some exercise. I know with that many kids it wouldn't be easy, but it might really help. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
madlibs Posted March 12, 2013 Share Posted March 12, 2013 Congratulations and lots of hugs. In October, I found myself faced with a surprise pregnancy (#6 as well). I cried for about a day straight and was scared that I wouldn't be able to handle a new baby and my 2 year old twins. Thankfully my husband was super supportive. Give yourself sometime to process the news. For me, seeing that first flicker of a heartbeat on the ultrasound screen made the baby so real to me. I began to really treasure the secret news that I was carrying around. We waited to tell anyone until I was over 12 weeks. By that time I had grown excited enough about the baby to be able to handle the negative comments. My twins have grown tremendously over the last 7 months. I am really no longer scared to integrate this new family member and my 3 older dds (11,8 and almost 5) can't wait to get their hands on him. We are now all so excited to meet our new baby boy! Take care of yourself and get lots of rest! Robin Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
lavender's green Posted March 12, 2013 Share Posted March 12, 2013 Congratulations! It might be time to start expecting a lot of help from the older kids. 13 and 12 are good ages to take on more responsibilities. Can you hire help? Even a young teenaged mother's helper to come over in the afternoons to keep an eye on school work while you nap? Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
TammyinTN Posted March 12, 2013 Share Posted March 12, 2013 Congratulations! I agree...get the kids to pitch in and help. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
speedmom4 Posted March 12, 2013 Share Posted March 12, 2013 You have a lot on your plate. Be patient with yourself. Try to remember that this is a season. When I was pregnant with my fourth my other children were 5, 3, and 1. My one-year-old had/has cerebral palsy and I was so stressed about him. My husband traveled for work all the time and I was exhausted and stressed. Thankfully the new baby came into the world happy and healthy. Even to this day he is always cheerful and positive. I wish I had gone easier on myself during that time. I wish I had focused on the positive more. God Bless! Elise in NC Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
history_junkie Posted March 12, 2013 Share Posted March 12, 2013 My mom's five month old surprise is the darling of the family. He was a late in life surprise, so the kids were all older, but the pregnancy was rough and she was concerned about her age. Now, we can't imagine life without him :-) He and my baby will be just nine months apart!! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Danestress Posted March 12, 2013 Share Posted March 12, 2013 The fact that your 5th child is challenging you is proof positive that he isn't your last baby, because *last* babies are always always calm, easy, snuggle bunnies. You will see! Congratulations! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
********* Posted March 12, 2013 Share Posted March 12, 2013 Oh! Congratulations! Behold, children are a heritage from the Lord,The fruit of the womb is a reward.- Psalm 127:3 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
higginszoo Posted March 12, 2013 Share Posted March 12, 2013 :grouphug: Now breathe. There's a reason that you're given 9 months to get used to the idea. Everything will be ok. :grouphug: Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
applethyme Posted March 12, 2013 Share Posted March 12, 2013 :grouphug: :grouphug: :grouphug: Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
No More Perfect Posted March 12, 2013 Share Posted March 12, 2013 I could have written most of what you did. In December, I found out I was pregnant with number six. We were done. I was shocked and overwhelmed till at least a few weeks ago. I am a little over 17 weeks now and this has been the hardest and most miserable pregnancy I have had. I am still battling morning sickness. I am on three meds to keep the vomiting down. I have a small return of my energy now which helps. I couldn't cook for the first two months because the smells all sent me to the bathroom. I laid on the couch all day and felt guilty while the kids watched tv or played on the tablets. It was all I could do to get out of the house once in a while. I still do not enjoy food or have much of an appetite. My hubby still has to brew his coffee in the garage. :laugh: I am also battling depression, though that has gotten better now that spring is coming. On top of that, I have an ADHD 4 year old who is a very challenging child, to say the least. We had gone on the Feingold Diet which helped her immensely, but when I couldn't cook we ate a lot of take out and things that are a big no-no for her. She turned back to her former uncontrollable self and we are just now starting back on the diet to help. Not much school was done. Only in the past couple of weeks are we really able to get work done consistently. All of this to say, :laugh: I am sending you many, many hugs. Feel free to pm me if you would like more encouragement or just to talk. :grouphug: Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Desert Rat Posted March 12, 2013 Share Posted March 12, 2013 :grouphug: Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
bry's-gal Posted March 12, 2013 Share Posted March 12, 2013 :grouphug: :grouphug: :grouphug: That is a lot to process all at once! Give yourself some grace and try to take a nap if you can! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
wapiti Posted March 12, 2013 Share Posted March 12, 2013 FWIW, my #6 was a surprise, 13 months older than my #5. "Surprise! It's me! I'm here! Time to party!!" describes her personality perfectly. She is a joy :) Remember, the hard part will be temporary. Good luck!! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
VeritasMama Posted March 13, 2013 Share Posted March 13, 2013 My number 6 was a surprise, 14 months younger than number 5. I felt much like you do, we also moved across the country when I was 6 months pregnant, it was hard. But now I can't imagine life without her, I'm really thankful we got through it! It will get better. My older children learned to help out more. Im now pregnant with number 7. The crock pot is a life saver, It is so nice to have dinner waiting for us as I'm too tired to cook at 5 pm. Remind yourself, this too shall pass, in regards to the anxiety and fatigue. I'm sure your little one will be a blessing to everyone in your family. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Mommy22alyns Posted March 13, 2013 Share Posted March 13, 2013 I can't do much, but I can send :grouphug: :grouphug: . Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
AmyontheFarm Posted March 13, 2013 Share Posted March 13, 2013 :hurray: :grouphug: :hurray: Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
A home for their hearts Posted March 15, 2013 Author Share Posted March 15, 2013 Thanks everyone for your encouraging words and cyber hugs! The fog is starting to lift a little. I have my first appt. today. I'm hoping and praying that all is well. I find myself getting excited once in awhile then I try to block that because I'm only about 10 weeks and things could still happen. I'm ususally on a roller coaster ride of emotions all day long! My mom's five month old surprise is the darling of the family. He was a late in life surprise, so the kids were all older, but the pregnancy was rough and she was concerned about her age. Now, we can't imagine life without him :-) He and my baby will be just nine months apart!! Wow I can't even imagine that! However I do have 2 aunts on each side of my family that are only 2 years older than me. The fact that your 5th child is challenging you is proof positive that he isn't your last baby, because *last* babies are always always calm, easy, snuggle bunnies. You will see! Congratulations! I hope this is true! I could have written most of what you did. In December, I found out I was pregnant with number six. We were done. I was shocked and overwhelmed till at least a few weeks ago. I am a little over 17 weeks now and this has been the hardest and most miserable pregnancy I have had. I am still battling morning sickness. I am on three meds to keep the vomiting down. I have a small return of my energy now which helps. I couldn't cook for the first two months because the smells all sent me to the bathroom. I laid on the couch all day and felt guilty while the kids watched tv or played on the tablets. It was all I could do to get out of the house once in a while. I still do not enjoy food or have much of an appetite. My hubby still has to brew his coffee in the garage. :laugh: I am also battling depression, though that has gotten better now that spring is coming. On top of that, I have an ADHD 4 year old who is a very challenging child, to say the least. We had gone on the Feingold Diet which helped her immensely, but when I couldn't cook we ate a lot of take out and things that are a big no-no for her. She turned back to her former uncontrollable self and we are just now starting back on the diet to help. Not much school was done. Only in the past couple of weeks are we really able to get work done consistently. All of this to say, :laugh: I am sending you many, many hugs. Feel free to pm me if you would like more encouragement or just to talk. :grouphug: I'm sorry you are having such a hard time with morning sickness. I'm still feeling nauseous but it's not as bad as it was early on. Luckily I've only thrown up once. I'm happy things are starting to go better for you! :grouphug: Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
history_junkie Posted March 15, 2013 Share Posted March 15, 2013 Wow I can't even imagine that! However I do have 2 aunts on each side of my family that are only 2 years older than me. We're still in shock a lot of the time :-) I noticed your kids' ages in your sig, and I just wanted to add that I'm the oldest in my family (of 8) and I absolutely loved having babies around growing up. I'm 11 and 13 years older than the two before the Surprise :-) and I had a blast having little kids around during high school. It's the same way with my little brother now. His 14, 11, and 9 year old siblings love him and are really quite good with him. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
lea_lpz Posted March 15, 2013 Share Posted March 15, 2013 Hugs <3 I sympathize with you greatly :) I just found out about surprise number 3 too :) I am also heavier now than at the end of my pregnancies for both kids. I am very bummed about that. But, my pregnancy has actually encouraged / sometimes forced me to have healthier eating habits :). I lost ten pound within the first 10 weeks of pregnancy and haven't gained anything at 13 weeks. I don't feel starved or reprieved or intentionally try to lose, but I am eating smaller portions more often to ward off hunger / nausea and feeling too full by eating big meals. So, I am feeling confident about being able to gain only the 15-25 pounds recommended. Weeks 6-12 were a blur of exhaustion and nausea. Sorry to hear you are having a hard time. My kids are little but my strategy has been to hit the basics / priorities, and for me that is Bible, K math & Lang., and 15 minutes of preschool time. Everything else is gravy but if I can accomplish that I am happy. I try to remember the 2nd trimester will bring energy and we can do more in time. This'll pass. I feel a lot more tired and a lot more sick this time so I know how you feel. This time I am not as young or fit, which is not helping. Maybe we can help each other out? Motivate each other to walk / gain in the healthy range? My dd is Sept. 30. When is yours? Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
A home for their hearts Posted March 15, 2013 Author Share Posted March 15, 2013 We're still in shock a lot of the time :-) I noticed your kids' ages in your sig, and I just wanted to add that I'm the oldest in my family (of 8) and I absolutely loved having babies around growing up. I'm 11 and 13 years older than the two before the Surprise :-) and I had a blast having little kids around during high school. It's the same way with my little brother now. His 14, 11, and 9 year old siblings love him and are really quite good with him. That is great to hear! I think my oldest two are tired of the two little ones, but we are having some discipline issues with my youngest, some sibling rivalry, and newly teenager attitude problems! . I'm hoping that when they are grown and look back on it they will cherish the days that their little siblings annoyed the crap out of them! LOL Hugs <3 I sympathize with you greatly :) I just found out about surprise number 3 too :) I am also heavier now than at the end of my pregnancies for both kids. I am very bummed about that. But, my pregnancy has actually encouraged / sometimes forced me to have healthier eating habits :). I lost ten pound within the first 10 weeks of pregnancy and haven't gained anything at 13 weeks. I don't feel starved or reprieved or intentionally try to lose, but I am eating smaller portions more often to ward off hunger / nausea and feeling too full by eating big meals. So, I am feeling confident about being able to gain only the 15-25 pounds recommended. Weeks 6-12 were a blur of exhaustion and nausea. Sorry to hear you are having a hard time. My kids are little but my strategy has been to hit the basics / priorities, and for me that is Bible, K math & Lang., and 15 minutes of preschool time. Everything else is gravy but if I can accomplish that I am happy. I try to remember the 2nd trimester will bring energy and we can do more in time. This'll pass. I feel a lot more tired and a lot more sick this time so I know how you feel. This time I am not as young or fit, which is not helping. Maybe we can help each other out? Motivate each other to walk / gain in the healthy range? My dd is Sept. 30. When is yours? I just got back from my first doctor appt. I go for an ultrasound next week. I am 10 weeks, my due date is oct.11. She asked if I minded if she try to find the heartbeat since I am still a little early she didn't want to worry me if she couldn't find one. She tried, but she couldn't find it. Because of my weight she would prefer I not gain any weight but said it would be ok if I gained max. 15lbs. She told me to eat a lot of protein and fruit and veggies. I love my carbs so I'm in for a rough road. I think it would be great to have a partner to help motivate each other! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
countrygal Posted March 15, 2013 Share Posted March 15, 2013 :grouphug: Good thing is that the baby will take 9 months to get here :) Don't worry about telling anyone. It's not their business. Everything will be okay. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
LibraryLover Posted March 15, 2013 Share Posted March 15, 2013 Congratulations! I had a shocker pregnancy, but once the worry wore off, it was great. But if it helps, I'll take the toddler. lol Or Redmudamom and I can flip for him. ;) Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
LibraryLover Posted March 15, 2013 Share Posted March 15, 2013 Babies are so cuuuute! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Monica_in_Switzerland Posted March 15, 2013 Share Posted March 15, 2013 Thank God pregnancy lasts nine months, so we have time to get used to the idea. :-) :grouphug: The fatigue is terrible- I hope it passes soon! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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