Is your husband hard to shop for?

[Rivka]

It's so easy to come up with Christmas ideas for my kids. It's impossible to come up with gift ideas for my husband. And he doesn't help me out! He can never think of anything he wants. To make it even worse, his birthday is a month after Christmas so I have to think of all my ideas for him at once. And now that the kids are a bit older, I have to think of things they can give him, too. (Let them choose their own gift ideas, you say? If that were the case, my daughter would be giving him a wind-up toy dachshund that barks a horrible yappy bark. I love him too much to let that happen.)

 

I finally came up with an idea that I think will be good - he's really gotten into grilling, lately, and I'm planning to get him a smoker. The man loves his meat! I think he'll be happy. But it's been approximately ten times harder than any other gift choice I have to make. I still don't have any ideas for his birthday.

 

Do you have a hard time finding presents for your husband? Or is mine just unusually infuriating in this respect?

[Chris in VA]

Ugg--I hear ya. Mine is difficult. Sometimes he buys things he wants right before birthdays or Christmas--my kids see it, too, so it isn't just my imagination. But it's always something small!

 

I think his love language just isn't gifts. He grew up pretty simply, and just doesn't want a lot of stuff. He has 3 suits, and wears them til they wear out; he dresses in clergy togs every day, so no business clothes or ties or that sort of thing. He is into music, but not listening to it.

 

Last year for his birthday, he asked me to contribute to a $1400 guitar. He really wanted it, he never really treats himself--I was thrilled b/c I didn't have to struggle to find something!

[Night Elf]

My DH rarely wants anything. If there is anything he wants, at any time of the year, he just buys it. But I'm talking about books. The last non-book item I got him was a special watch he uses for tracking his running. It was a Christmas gift last year and he told me exactly what model he needed. The year before that I got a sentimental gift, a wall hanging that had our names on it. This year we decided to buy some dvd sets we want. He told dd14 to buy him a Doctor Who book but it looks like a young adult book. We only put candy in each other's stockings because he's impossible to buy for and he isn't a good shopper for me. Because of both of us feeling like we can't find gifts for one another, we've always let the focus of Christmas be the kids. Really, he and I would be fine with a book or two.

[Aspasia]

We tend to be really practical about gift giving, meaning that we give each other exactly what we ask for. No surprises around here. My problem is that dh only wants really expensive stuff that we really shouldn't buy, but he kinda makes me feel bad about hesitating ("Oh, okay. Then I guess I don't really want anything. No, no, don't worry about it. I don't need anything.") It's annoying! Because guess what? I'm not going to spend $600+ on this guy for Christmas, just because he can't want something reasonably priced. Grrrrr!

[MeaganS]

My husband is crazy easy to buy for. I am not. Poor guy can never figure out what to get me and i can't help him, whereas I always have a hard time picking from one of my many ideas for him.

[Farrar]

I can't tell you how many times I've thought of something for him and then he bought it himself. Seriously.

 

I have to really dream up things that he'll want, but that he'll never think up himself. One year I got him shoes that didn't look silly. Those were a good gift. But I can't repeat it. He liked them enough that he started buying himself decent shoes finally. Another year I got him a sort of man bag. It was when the kids were tiny and he was forever leaving without ANYTHING. Like, no diapers, no food. All the moms we knew found it a bit cute that they'd be feeding our kids when dh had them, but it made me nuts. I was sure it was because all the kid bags weren't his, so I tried to remedy that with a cool guy bag. No dice. He almost never uses it.

 

The only year I feel like I hit it big was when the kids were babies and I used a deal to send him to Rome for four days. Dh is obsessed with Roman history. He had been such a perfect dad and I wanted to really reward him.

[ErinE]

Yes! Dh is very particular about his clothing and accessories, to the point where we'll go into a store, he'll point out a tie, pen, or belt, and I'm expected to remember that exact item months later for his birthday or Christmas. I have trouble remembering my own name some days, let alone the crucial differences between mahogany brown and chocolate brown for a belt. He doesn't wear cologne and on the rare occasion he needs something, he usually purchases it. I tried to get him a e-book reader, but it turns out the bright light hurts his eyes. The only successful gift I've ever given was a GPS many years ago, which is now obsolete because we use my phone when we travel.

 

I really appreciate when he puts items in our Amazon cart and lets them sit there. For Father's Day, I was able to purchase some books he had held onto for awhile.

 

I'm not much easier to shop for, but I've started growing my costume jewelry collection so the kids (and dh) have done a great job of picking up some nice presents. Dh usually sets the kids loose in the jewelry section of Target or Kohls, and they always love it when I wear the items they've selected.

[Impish]

Wolf is super, super easy to buy for...and not b/c we're such perfect soul mates, LOL!

 

I have great taste in men's clothing. I file things away all yr long about what might be a good gift. Part of it is too that we both spend $ on the kids (when budget allows) but other than socks, etc, not on ourselves, so there's always loads to choose from for him.

[chiguirre]

I don't buy dh gifts (nor does he buy me gifts). It's obviously not our love language and we just buy what we need when we need it and what we want when we can within reason. Dh buys his own clothes now after years to asking me to buy stuff and then complaining about little details (thank you, internet commerce!)

[Tita Gidge]

Do you have a hard time finding presents for your husband? Or is mine just unusually infuriating in this respect?

 

I used to, but then I figured if he wasn't stressing about it there was no need for me or the kids to be LOL.

 

The man loves to eat. So I get him gift cards to various eateries -- sit-down restaurants, fast-food restaurants, gas stations (best snacks!), and cash for his favorite food truck. I tape them all to straws, stick them in a vase, and voila: a bouquet is born. He digs it. I change up the eateries to keep it fresh, and he's able to use the gift throughout the year.

 

Every year he gets a tee-shirt from each kid. It's something he can/will actually use, and the kids have fun picking out shirts with funny captions or DH's favorite bands, etc. My kids love to inherit their dad's old, soft tees; shirts are the gift that keep on giving!

 

He gets CDs and/or concert tickets each year for his birthday. The kids gift him various baked goods.

 

So, mine is easy now that we've settled into our current understanding. Every few years I'll get a great gift idea for him, and I just add it to the status quo. But I no longer hurt my brain trying to come up with one every year, much less twice a year.

 

For your husband's birthday, what about an online order for some really high-quality or exotic meat that he can smoke? That's kind of win-win LOL. Or wire an outdoor stereo system for him to listen to when he's out back smoking?

[Mommee & Baba]

I said, "easy he tells me what he wants". However I don't mean this month he'll tell me...but it's more like I listen ALL year long and gather my ideas that way and almost always come out a winner! :)

[QueenCat]

Generally speaking, if dh wants something, he goes & gets it.... but I still manage to find things I think he'll enjoy (or

could use an upgrade in).

[Kathryn]

We don't do gifts for each other unless there is something we know we need/want. We don't buy things just to have a gift to give. Since we are joining the Orthodox church, we are both getting gifts this year: icons and prayer ropes. Sometimes he will need a new tool for work or clothes or a wallet, stuff like that.

[TammyinTN]

Dh is military and there's always something he wants. I keep a little notebook in my purse and when I hear things I write it down. If he hasn't gotten it I make sure it shows up under the Christmas tree.

[Georgiana Daniels]

It's so easy to come up with Christmas ideas for my kids. It's impossible to come up with gift ideas for my husband. And he doesn't help me out! He can never think of anything he wants. To make it even worse, his birthday is a month after Christmas so I have to think of all my ideas for him at once. And now that the kids are a bit older, I have to think of things they can give him, too. (Let them choose their own gift ideas, you say? If that were the case, my daughter would be giving him a wind-up toy dachshund that barks a horrible yappy bark. I love him too much to let that happen.)

 

I finally came up with an idea that I think will be good - he's really gotten into grilling, lately, and I'm planning to get him a smoker. The man loves his meat! I think he'll be happy. But it's been approximately ten times harder than any other gift choice I have to make. I still don't have any ideas for his birthday.

 

Do you have a hard time finding presents for your husband? Or is mine just unusually infuriating in this respect?

 

 

I could've written your post, Rivka! Except my hubby's b-day is about a month before. This year I let him basically pick his own b-day present and he seemed pretty happy about that. Not sure what we'll do for Christmas, but I don't want it to be a bust!

[Alte Veste Academy]

I finally came up with an idea that I think will be good - he's really gotten into grilling, lately, and I'm planning to get him a smoker. The man loves his meat! I think he'll be happy. But it's been approximately ten times harder than any other gift choice I have to make. I still don't have any ideas for his birthday. Do you have a hard time finding presents for your husband? Or is mine just unusually infuriating in this respect?

 

Oh, Rivka, if he likes his smoker you will not have any problems coming up with something for his birthday! I bought DH a Weber Bullet smoker for Father's Day and for Christmas he is getting the rib/roast rack, a fish rack, three chicken racks, and dry rub shakers. There are great utensils, different kinds of wood chips, really great grilling potholders... There are so many great cookbooks about smoking too. DH loves his Weber Way to Grill cookbook.

 

My DH is a breeze because of his hobbies. Some of the stuff he wants is expensive, but there are always ideas.

[nmoira]

I chose "Easy. He tells me what he wants," but technically it's "He keeps an up-to-date wishlist" at Amazon and Funagain.

[justLisa]

I can never think of what to get him. He always says he just wants to get me something. He likes techi things but I have no clue about that stuff so I don't know unless I have a list. And he has been saying he is working on his list for the past month.

[justamouse]

If I had to buy him something, yes, it would be difficult, but what we do is WE buy something. He has everything he needs, and we like buying stuff for the house, so we just go get ourselves a gift. We bought ourselves a gorgeous antique lamp for our anniversary, and I think we'll get another for ourselves for Christmas. It's nice to look at stuff and say, ohh, remember where we were when we got that?

[Jenny in Florida]

You're missing a poll option: Impossible and unpleasant about it.

 

Gifts are important to my husband, and he has all of these rules and hang ups about them. For example, he's not into anything practical, and he doesn't believe in making wish lists. Gifts, as far as he's concerned, should be delightful surprises.

 

He does not approve of or appreciate gift cards or gift certificates, because they don't require personalized thought.

 

If he wants something and we can afford it, he buys it whenever he wishes to do so.

 

Edit: I forgot to mention that:

 

- He has no hobbies.

- He doesn't watch (or play) any sports.

- He has physical limitations that make it risky to encourage anything active, since I never know whether he'll be up to it on a given day.

- We're vegetarians (meaning all of those bacon-centric gifts are out), and he's not really into food, in general.

- He is not a handyman type. (So, no tools or anything like that.)

 

If he does not get enough gifts or the "right" ones, he pouts like a child.

 

His birthday is in September, meaning any reasonably good idea I might have is used up then.

 

Let's just say I start dreading Christmas sometime in August.

[Forget-Me-Not]

Mine is hard to shop for because he's content and doesn't really want anything. When he does want something, it's usually something techy--like the new video card he bought for his birthday in August. He kept trying to talk specs with me--I think he was looking for my approval to spend a little more money on it--but he may as well have been speaking Greek :D He likes books and music, but with the advent of the Kindle and the iPhone, wonderful devices that they are, that leaves me with less things to wrap and put under the tree. I still download stuff to surprise him, but it's just not the same, saying, "Uh. . . by the way, check your Kindle for that new Bourne book you wanted." LOL I usually end up buying him some practical things. He got some new clothes for his birthday. He seems genuinely happy with those things, or at least he doesn't mind it. I usually end up saying, "Sorry it's such a practical gift" and he says, "Hey, I'm a practical guy." So there you go.

[Rivka]

You're missing a poll option: Impossible and unpleasant about it.

 

Gifts are important to my husband, and he has all of these rules and hang ups about them. For example, he's not into anything practical, and he doesn't believe in making wish lists. Gifts, as far as he's concerned, should be delightful surprises.

 

He does not approve of or appreciate gift cards or gift certificates, because they don't require personalized thought.

 

If he wants something and we can afford it, he buys it whenever he wishes to do so. [...]

 

If he does not get enough gifts or the "right" ones, he pouts like a child.

 

His birthday is in September, meaning any reasonably good idea I might have is used up then.

 

Let's just say I start dreading Christmas sometime in August.

 

Ugh! I am sorry. This would drive me absolutely up the wall. At least mine doesn't give me a hard time about it, and is genuinely apologetic about not being able to give me any ideas.

[KRG]

He's only difficult to shop for because his hobbies are expensive.

[fraidycat]

I chose two. He's challenging, and he gets ME for Christmas. Some years we exchange "good" gifts and some years not. This year we aren't, so he's not as challenging this year. :)

[Jayne J]

Dh is a techie. I am not. I have bought the wrong doo-dad attach-a-ma-thingie far more often than the right one. He has hobbies, but already owns all he needs for them. I generally tell him that his mom and dad have requested a list, skim some ideas off the top, and call it good.

[KatieJ]

Bacon Freak has 35% off Bacon of the month today! Thanks for the ideas ladies.

[happypamama]

I voted "not so hard -- he has hobbies" and "other." For general presents, yes, my DH is hard to buy for. However, he has a very specific hobby, and if he tells me the supplies he needs for that hobby, he's super easy to buy for (although not inexpensive). I thought about getting him a nice Klean Kanteen insulated mug for coffee (since his tend to get beat up after a while), but honestly, I think he'd rather me put the money toward his hobby, because if he doesn't have the supplies, he can't do it at all, and financial strains have had him cutting back in the past few years. I think this year, since I'm not quite sure what other people are giving him, I'm going to get a gift card to a store that sells the necessary supplies (which he appreciates; he'll know that I took the time to get the card just for him), and then I'll wrap up the rest of his allotment of cash to put wherever he needs later.

 

The downside to all of this is that my DH is an awesome gift giver. It's one of his main love languages. But it is not one of mine. By DH's own admission, he likes having stuff for people to open, including me. I don't honestly care if there's anything for me to open at all, and gifts aren't how I receive love. I'd rather just set aside the cash to use where I need it later. But since it sounds like DH would probably like having something from me to open, that's why I think I'll get the gift card and wrap it up.

[Tap]

Other..I don't think he is hard to buy for but I never make him really happy with the gifts either. He isn't a material person, so he could really care less about gifts. I buy him nice gifts that he uses, but he isn't ever ga-ga over them.

 

He doesn't have any hobbies and his interests are too expensive to buy. Think...sail boat expensive!

[MissKNG]

We really don't give gifts to each other at Christmas. I rather spend the money on something extra for the girls or maybe a family meal out. But if I had to get something, he is easy to shop for!

[Wildiris]

Be it Christmas or Birthdays, I can never find the right gift for DH. I retrun almost everything I buy as a gift for him.

 

He doesn't want clothes as a gift and has no hobbies.

 

All of my best gift ideas I give to his mother so she can buy him something special.

 

This year I managed to dream up the perfect gift (I hope it's the perfect gift!) that my MIL and I split $$$$. Now the trick is keeping it a surprise.

I feel bad when I run out of time and I have no gift to give and he manages to present me with a lovely gift.

[unsinkable]

I picked the soul mates one...not to be a smartass but I know what he likes in the present department! I just pay attention and note well what he is interested in. He is tricky because while he feels uncomfortable accepting presents, he loves to receive what I think of as "useful splurges."

[LucyStoner]

We shop together for our annual combined Christmas/Anniversary gift and it is always a price of art. We decided that we would prefer to spend the funds on something we will have and enjoy long term rather than temporary things like electronics and cool pants. We do exchange token gifts for Christmas but we have a $10 limit. I have fun making that work. He's given me drawings, used music, homemade gadgets etc. I get him things like massage oil, used music, thrifted clothing, handmade stuff. This year I crocheted him stuff using yarn scored cheap. It's fun and takes the pressure off.

 

We've been busy and he is in school and working so we are taking a couple days of a couples break this year right after Christmas. Normally I wouldn't spend that money for a holiday present but it's the only time during the year we can get away without the kids.