k2bdeutmeyer Posted November 14, 2012 Share Posted November 14, 2012 **Back story is HERE and HERE in case you missed it** Well, well, well......last night, one of the other ladies in the group sent me a message on FB. We haven't really talked much since everything happened last February. I didn't know what the rest of the group knew or didn't know....what they thought, etc and it was awkward, so I just walked away from the whole thing. Anyway, she made a little small talk about preschool pictures and then said "hey, I should've told you this a long time ago" - and then, I KNEW. My patience and taking the high road paid off. She proceeded to say, "I'm so sorry J said all those things to you." Well, as it turns out, J did the EXACT same thing to her!!! She didn't give me much for details, which is fine, I know how it goes, but basically she criticized her marriage, style, etc. She told her that she was blind to who her husband really is, which apparently is a pedophile, because he drives a white van (he owns a drywall company and drives the typical white utility van). Anyway.....I had the opportunity to share that I didn't walk away because I didn't care, but because I didn't know what else to do. I also had the chance to share WHY I never said anything to them (I didn't know what they did or didn't know and didn't want to cause drama). We talked a little about learning who your friends are, and being more cautious about what you let them see of the "real you". I'm just so glad that I took the high road. All that time that I wanted to tell them who J really was, and I kept my mouth shut. I can now be confident in looking back and saying that I absolutely did NOTHING questionable in the entire confrontation. And, I feel so validated......I knew it was never about me, but this just proves it. It really was NEVER about ME. Apparently, she's moving to WA now........good riddance! That's all :) Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Chris in VA Posted November 14, 2012 Share Posted November 14, 2012 Closure is nice, isn't it? :grouphug: Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Alphabetika Posted November 14, 2012 Share Posted November 14, 2012 Wait. Wait. She told this woman that her husband must be a *pedophile* because he drives a white van? :blink: A woman who speaks this way to "a friend" could not move away fast enough. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
elegantlion Posted November 14, 2012 Share Posted November 14, 2012 :hurray: :hurray: Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
goldberry Posted November 14, 2012 Share Posted November 14, 2012 She told her that she was blind to who her husband really is, which apparently is a pedophile, because he drives a white van :001_huh::001_huh: Good for you, and so glad she will be out of the picture. She is clearly destructive and hateful. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
1bassoon Posted November 14, 2012 Share Posted November 14, 2012 I'd say you earned your cupcake. :D Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
jenL Posted November 14, 2012 Share Posted November 14, 2012 I'm so glad this is resolved for you. It sounds like a new/old friendship is about to blossom with the friend who shared all that information with you. The high road always wins. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Harriet Vane Posted November 14, 2012 Share Posted November 14, 2012 Wow. Your so-called friend is a real snake in the grass, eh? I am sorry it was so awful and painful, and so glad that the truth is now known. It's so validating! Good for you, too, because the high road is never an easy road. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
NittanyJen Posted November 14, 2012 Share Posted November 14, 2012 So glad she will be out of your hair, and glad the other woman came forward and validated you! (and sorry for her that she had to go through that, too-- some accusations, not matter how insane, have a way of sticking around). Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Night Elf Posted November 14, 2012 Share Posted November 14, 2012 We all knew it wasn't you in the first place! :grouphug: Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Unicorn. Posted November 14, 2012 Share Posted November 14, 2012 We all knew she was a piece of work, but wow! Glad she's moving, and glad that you have been validated. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Wildcat Posted November 14, 2012 Share Posted November 14, 2012 We all knew she was a piece of work, but wow! Glad she's moving, and glad that you have been validated. :iagree: I'd say you earned your cupcake. :D :iagree: :D And some :grouphug:. You must feel so much better! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Desert Rat Posted November 14, 2012 Share Posted November 14, 2012 What a good outcome! I followed that story and am glad it resolved itself in such a good way. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Cinder Posted November 14, 2012 Share Posted November 14, 2012 I'm just so glad that I took the high road. And, I feel so validated......I knew it was never about me, but this just proves it. It really was NEVER about ME. We always knew it wasn't about you. You've shown such strength and grace during this tough time. Glad to hear the truth is out. :grouphug: Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Kirch Posted November 14, 2012 Share Posted November 14, 2012 Nothing like vindication!! And I hope your friend laid into her over the dh comment. :glare: It's a good thing for you guys that she's moving, but it's too bad that she will be starting fresh with new friends. If she stayed put, it sounds like it wouldn't be long before she alienated everybody! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
GailV Posted November 14, 2012 Share Posted November 14, 2012 **Back story is [Apparently, she's moving to WA now........good riddance! That's all :) :grouphug: I'm glad this has worked out for you. And thanks for sharing it with us as a reminder for all of us to take the high road. BUT is there any way to warn WA that she's on her way? ACTIVATE THE EMERGENCY HIVE NETWORK! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
catz Posted November 14, 2012 Share Posted November 14, 2012 Wait. Wait. She told this woman that her husband must be a *pedophile* because he drives a white van? :blink: A woman who speaks this way to "a friend" could not move away fast enough. :iagree: Our neighbors are painters and have been driving a white utility van for years. That stereotype is the stupidest thing I've heard lately. These people have kids and grand kids and are the dreamiest neighbors you could imagine. I remember this story well. I knew karma would come back around! :D Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
kwg Posted November 14, 2012 Share Posted November 14, 2012 :grouphug: Thank you for updating! And what a good reminder to me that these things take time but can work themselves out. Whew. :party: for moving Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Jean in Newcastle Posted November 14, 2012 Share Posted November 14, 2012 BUT is there any way to warn WA that she's on her way? ACTIVATE THE EMERGENCY HIVE NETWORK! Hey! We don't want her here! Katy, bar the door! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
gardenmom5 Posted November 14, 2012 Share Posted November 14, 2012 what part of washington? those of us here want to be forwarned. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
JenC3 Posted November 14, 2012 Share Posted November 14, 2012 Wait. Wait. She told this woman that her husband must be a *pedophile* because he drives a white van? :blink: A woman who speaks this way to "a friend" could not move away fast enough. I can't believe she still talked to her after she said that??:confused: WOW! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
NorthwestMom Posted November 14, 2012 Share Posted November 14, 2012 It feels great to be vindicated. Apparently, she's moving to WA now........good riddance! Oh crap! We don't want her! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Soror Posted November 14, 2012 Share Posted November 14, 2012 Wow, that is crazy. So glad she is moving! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Trish Posted November 14, 2012 Share Posted November 14, 2012 :grouphug: Your post makes my day. Three cheers for patience and fortitude! :001_smile: Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
WTMCassandra Posted November 14, 2012 Share Posted November 14, 2012 I was great until your punchline, that "friend" is moving to WA. What?!?!?!? Where in WA? We don't want her! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
HappyCrazyMama Posted November 14, 2012 Share Posted November 14, 2012 **Back story is HERE and HERE in case you missed it** Well, well, well......last night, one of the other ladies in the group sent me a message on FB. We haven't really talked much since everything happened last February. I didn't know what the rest of the group knew or didn't know....what they thought, etc and it was awkward, so I just walked away from the whole thing. Anyway, she made a little small talk about preschool pictures and then said "hey, I should've told you this a long time ago" - and then, I KNEW. My patience and taking the high road paid off. She proceeded to say, "I'm so sorry J said all those things to you." Well, as it turns out, J did the EXACT same thing to her!!! She didn't give me much for details, which is fine, I know how it goes, but basically she criticized her marriage, style, etc. She told her that she was blind to who her husband really is, which apparently is a pedophile, because he drives a white van (he owns a drywall company and drives the typical white utility van). Anyway.....I had the opportunity to share that I didn't walk away because I didn't care, but because I didn't know what else to do. I also had the chance to share WHY I never said anything to them (I didn't know what they did or didn't know and didn't want to cause drama). We talked a little about learning who your friends are, and being more cautious about what you let them see of the "real you". I'm just so glad that I took the high road. All that time that I wanted to tell them who J really was, and I kept my mouth shut. I can now be confident in looking back and saying that I absolutely did NOTHING questionable in the entire confrontation. And, I feel so validated......I knew it was never about me, but this just proves it. It really was NEVER about ME. Apparently, she's moving to WA now........good riddance! That's all :) WA! Send me picture so I can avoid her.:tongue_smilie: Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest submarines Posted November 14, 2012 Share Posted November 14, 2012 :hurray: Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
WTMCassandra Posted November 14, 2012 Share Posted November 14, 2012 It feels great to be vindicated. Oh crap! We don't want her! :iagree::iagree::iagree: Finding out that the "friend" was moving to WA was an unwelcome punch line! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Plink Posted November 14, 2012 Share Posted November 14, 2012 White van = pedophile??? That has to be the stupidest stereotype I have ever heard. Glad J is leaving! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
ktgrok Posted November 14, 2012 Share Posted November 14, 2012 Wait. Wait. She told this woman that her husband must be a *pedophile* because he drives a white van? :blink: A woman who speaks this way to "a friend" could not move away fast enough. that may be my new favorite stupid assumption! I had a coworker tell me that my long distance boyfriend was probably a porn star because he and I were not having sex. Obviously it was because he was getting so much at his job as a porn star!!! Um, no...we just both were waiting, thank you very much, as neither of us wanted a baby out of wedlock. (he's now my husband, and I can verify, NOT a porn star). Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
justLisa Posted November 14, 2012 Share Posted November 14, 2012 OH NO! You sent her MY way :lol: Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Catwoman Posted November 14, 2012 Share Posted November 14, 2012 I remember the story, and I'm so glad to hear that you have finally been validated. :hurray: (I know it sounds kind of mean, but I'm also secretly pleased that that horrible woman was just as rotten to other people as she was to you, because now you know it wasn't really about you at all -- it was just about a nasty, crazy person being mean to make herself feel important.) Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
k2bdeutmeyer Posted November 14, 2012 Author Share Posted November 14, 2012 Closure is nice, isn't it? :grouphug: It sure is! So glad she will be out of your hair, and glad the other woman came forward and validated you! (and sorry for her that she had to go through that, too-- some accusations, not matter how insane, have a way of sticking around). Boy do they! I feel terrible for her too..... You must feel so much better! I do!! I can't believe how much better. We always knew it wasn't about you. You've shown such strength and grace during this tough time. Glad to hear the truth is out. :grouphug: Aww, thank you!! Nothing like vindication!! And I hope your friend laid into her over the dh comment. :glare: It's a good thing for you guys that she's moving, but it's too bad that she will be starting fresh with new friends. If she stayed put, it sounds like it wouldn't be long before she alienated everybody! And the sad part is, I'm sure she'll continue to pick out those she feels are weak.....and will do it over and over - moving from one to the next. Makes me sad, cuz it sure hurts to have those types of things said to you. what part of washington? those of us here want to be forwarned. I,honestly, have no idea! He works for the nuclear power plant here, so I'm assuming they'll go wherever there is one out there. And if that happens to be close to any of you.....I'm terribly sorry, and will gladly share a name/photo of who to watch out for!! White van = pedophile??? That has to be the stupidest stereotype I have ever heard. Glad J is leaving! It is a terrible...awful thing to assume - especially about a friend's husband.....and it is somewhat dumb, but I do know, at least, where it's coming from. There have been several almost abductions of children by a white van around here lately. Sometimes just sitting back and letting things fall into place says so much more than trying to warn them. Glad things came to light and they saw her for what she is. Me too!!! I'm so glad I waited....and had patience. Walking away was hard, but.... (I know it sounds kind of mean, but I'm also secretly pleased that that horrible woman was just as rotten to other people as she was to you, because now you know it wasn't really about you at all -- it was just about a nasty, crazy person being mean to make herself feel important.) I feel the same! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
k2bdeutmeyer Posted November 15, 2012 Author Share Posted November 15, 2012 Oh and....kinda funny, I ran into her for the first time all year today....in the stairwell. She HAD TO mention a play date with my DD and hers yet again.....in front of my DD. GRRR. She had texted me out of the blue a month or so ago asking if her DD could have a playdate with mine at my house cuz she had a class? Uh...since when is it okay to invite your kid to someone else's house? Glorified babysitting - fine if you're friends, not so much when we haven't talked in MONTHS. Anyway, I told her I was sick and couldn't. But, now, DD is going to be talking about this potential playdate for weeks. I refuse to allow her to yo-yo her daughter in and out of my DD's life as she sees fit. Not to mention....I don't really want her in my life at all and it's hard to avoid that if we're meeting somewhere to play. Do I really have to wait for spring/summer for her to move? Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
tomandlorih Posted November 15, 2012 Share Posted November 15, 2012 I'm so happy you got validated for doing the right thing.. that doesn't happen often enough in this world but... Apparently, she's moving to WA now........ :eek: Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
k2bdeutmeyer Posted November 15, 2012 Author Share Posted November 15, 2012 I'm so happy you got validated for doing the right thing.. that doesn't happen often enough in this world but... :iagree: Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
besroma Posted November 15, 2012 Share Posted November 15, 2012 :hurray: Glad you got things resolved! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
QuirkyKapers Posted November 15, 2012 Share Posted November 15, 2012 Yay! What a nice thing to have happen. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Mimm Posted November 15, 2012 Share Posted November 15, 2012 I remember when that happened! What a loony! I hope you can settle into some nice healthy and drama free friendships with her moving away. :) Good for you for being the better person. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
In the Rain Posted November 15, 2012 Share Posted November 15, 2012 :001_smile: Yay for taking the high road, and receiving validation that you were correct. I remember when you posted about her before. She sounds like a real piece of work. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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