deltahotelfoxtrot Posted July 17, 2012 Share Posted July 17, 2012 My wife and I are new to the homeschooling scene and will be taking the plunge in a couple weeks with our oldest child as she starts her first year in Classical Conversations. Unfortunately I won’t be there for the beginning of this experience since I still have a couple months left on my deployment to Afghanistan. I have a copy of “The Well Trained Mind, 3rd Ed.†on the way to me thanks to Amazon, but in the meantime I am more anxious about my little girl growing up back home than the bullets and bombs over here. I have been browsing the forums for a couple days and have been looking for a leaping point. It appears to me that most of the people posting here are female, so I curiously ask out of ignorance, how do your DHs fit into the homeschooling process? How are they typically involved, and what (if anything) can I do to help my DW from a distance? Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
dm379 Posted July 17, 2012 Share Posted July 17, 2012 Well my dh is deployed out of Bragg right now too due home same time. The best thing you can do right now is listen to her complain without saying "why don't we just put them in school." It is hard at first. When you get home, the best thing my dh does is Saturdays are daddy day and he takes them out the house for me to get some peace and quiet. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
nono Posted July 17, 2012 Share Posted July 17, 2012 Well when you are home, you can do as my dh does, and be a substitute teacher! :D He takes over a few times a year, and it really helps to give me a break and catch up on my other "to dos" like running errands for the family. There are guys who post on here, but you are correct, most of the posters here are gals. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Melissa in Australia Posted July 17, 2012 Share Posted July 17, 2012 I think it is different for every family. This is how it works in my family. My Dh is home all the time, He teaches the children technical, mechanical, metalwork, construction, very practical things, logic in an problem-solving way etc. He doesn't do it as a formal subject. He spends large amounts of time with them in the shed. When I get stuck, or can't get a science experiment to work, he steps in and helps. He is really marvelous. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
dm379 Posted July 17, 2012 Share Posted July 17, 2012 Also you can give her this website. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
southcarolinamom Posted July 17, 2012 Share Posted July 17, 2012 Dylan, Welcome to the forums! We are sooo glad to have a man in uniform here! :D Ft. Bragg is an awesome base. Our family toured the Airborne Special Ops museum on base a few years ago. My husband acts like a "principal" most of the time, while I take care of the teaching duties. But when my kids were little, he helped make sure they were obeying me, so I could teach them better. Ask your wife every day "what can I do to make your day easier?" and then follow through with whatever she suggests. It might be something as simple as "I need a hug right now", to "please take care of buying the groceries today" or "can you listen to _____'s spelling words." Homeschooling is a huge responsibility, and a stealer of our time. I try to pack a lot into 24 hours, but sometimes stuff just has to slip by until the next day. If your wife needs a neat, clean, tidy house to function, help pick up! Books take up a lot of space. She might need help keeping the homeschooling space organized and "untouched" by little hands. Have a safe trip back to the States! And thank you for asking us our opinion! Welcome to the journey of homeschooling. :001_smile: Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
cottonmama Posted July 17, 2012 Share Posted July 17, 2012 (edited) It is wonderful to have an interested and involved homeschooling father! There are plenty of ways you can help, and of course what you can do will depend on whether you are home or not, and what your free time is like when you are home. My dh has helped with curriculum decisions, watched the kids while I went to used book sales to look for school books, continued a math lesson with dd when I had to put the baby down for a nap, watched the kids while I did some planning or just got a break, done some pre-reading of novels we will be reading later, and given dd impromptu lessons. He is also much better at just sitting down and reading to dd than I am. As the kids get older, I imagine I will appreciate his help in making sure work gets done and otherwise motivating the kids. My dh is not much of a curriculum junkie, but reading the WTM and learning things on this forum sound like great ways to help, too. A lovely thing you may be able to do while deployed is record yourself reading a book or story. My dad did that when we lived 12 hours from him, and it was so special to dd. Good luck, and stay safe over there! ETA: I also really, really appreciate that my dh sees homeschooling as a full-time job, and therefore does NOT expect the house to be clean, chores to be done, gourmet dinner to be on the table, etc. when he gets home from with work. Just that attitude has been amazingly freeing to allow me to focus on the kids and not on the house during those hours. Edited July 17, 2012 by cottonmama Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
AmyontheFarm Posted July 17, 2012 Share Posted July 17, 2012 Pray for your wife, pray for your children. Ask her how you can help, even just being a listening ear and an encourager will help with you being far away! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Carrie12345 Posted July 17, 2012 Share Posted July 17, 2012 My husband is mostly my cheerleader. Sometimes he searches Netflix for fun movies to go with our studies. He accepts a messy house. He talks to the kids about things they're learning. When he sees an educational opportunity, he tries to fold it in. Generally speaking, I think just being a Good Dad makes for being a Good Homeschool Dad, with as much or as little involvement as mutually agreeable. Be safe! :grouphug: Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Chris in VA Posted July 17, 2012 Share Posted July 17, 2012 Hello! Here's my advice: Listen to her when she is trying to make decisions about curriculum. Let her go on and on about each tiny, seemingly insignificant detail, without jumping in right away with a solution. Hold off on suggesting brick and mortar school when she is stressed, complaining, or unsure. Try not to pick at her about the house. Do the dishes. Take the kids out. Reinforce to them that this lovely woman is your wife, and you will not allow them to backtalk, refuse to listen to her, or otherwise disrespect her. Tell her she's beautiful and that she's a good mom and a good teacher. Take her out on dates. Find the $ and time to pay for a conference or two each year, so she can have "continuing education" and get jazzed up for the next year. Realize you may not see results right away--even in B&M school, results take time. If you discover special needs in your kiddos, get help and don't blame homeschooling. Homeschooling never gave a kid Aspergers, dyslexia, shyness, etc. Nurture your own relationships, both with her and with the kids. And never, ever make her choose between you and the children. Buckle your seatbelt--homeschooling is an adventure!! :D Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Farrar Posted July 17, 2012 Share Posted July 17, 2012 Agreed with what everyone else said. Trust her, trust that the homeschool road is a long one and that your kids will move along a different path of learning than kids in public schools - they may learn some things later, other things before - and it's hard to compare. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Parrothead Posted July 17, 2012 Share Posted July 17, 2012 We do have a handful or two of Well Trained Dads around here. Hopefully they will chime in soon. For us it works best when my dh stays out of the way. After years (we've just finished 8 years of homeschooling) of trying to fit him in with his ever-changing schedule (shift work, business trips, etc.) it works best if he is gone when we work on school. We do work around his schedule as best we can so that when he is home and off we have nothing to do and can spend our time with him. For example we will be starting school a week earlier than we traditionally do so that we can be off mid October for no other reason than he took that week off work. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Mama Anna Posted July 17, 2012 Share Posted July 17, 2012 For me, dh is the principal - he gives approval to my schooling plans, my curriculum choices, and helps me formulate our overall goals (and keep them in mind when the going gets tough) and keeps me accountable. It's not so much that he knows more than I do about everything, but that as I'm presenting stuff to him I'm forced think through things in a way that shows up logical flaws, etc. He allows me to bounce stuff off of him - ideas for the future, problems I see coming up, etc. in a way that helps me think through things in advance. He teaches for me when I'm teaching voice at the college (as long as I give him very detailed lesson plans), which not only gives me opportunities to use my own training, etc., but also gives him experience with the joys and frustrations of homeschooling. He'll adjust his work schedule to allow me to attend the annual conference. He's only once sympathetically suggested that we could let the girls go to public school if it really was too much for me. And then he learned not to do that again. :) You're doing great in that you're planning to read TWTM. Just realize that homeschooling can become a consuming passion and may begin to take up the vast majority of your dw's time and concentration depending on how she handles things. If you're right in there with her, it will draw the two of you closer together. If it's all "her thing" (which it seems unlikely it will be) then you have to worry about feeling left out and excluded, etc. Just my 2 cents! Mama Anna Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Harriet Vane Posted July 17, 2012 Share Posted July 17, 2012 Welcome! God bless you for your service to our country and for your care for your family. My brother was deployed to Iraq twice. May God keep you safe and bring you home soon. In the early years my dh was mostly a cheerful onlooker to our homeschool. I like teaching and researching, so this was fine with me. I appreciated how patient he was about the dishes not being done or dinner being late. I have also always appreciated the amount of time he spends with the kids. There is nothing more attractive in a man than his enjoyment of his children and eager participation in raising them. As my kids have gotten older, dh has gotten more involved. He is far better at math than me, so he has taken over that subject entirely with my teenager. It will only be a year or two before he takes on our ds for math as well. Also, when dd wanted to learn fencing, dh decided it would be fun to do this with her. They both really enjoy taking fencing lessons together. I also appreciate dh's willingness to pay for yearly conferences and to find a way to make it work. Most years I have gone by myself and relished the break. One year dh went with me specifically to learn more about TWTM. (He had never read the book, so I asked him to attend the seminars wherein SWB explains the theory and practice.) Other years the whole family went. Dh attended a few seminars and browsed the vendor hall with me, but his main job was to take the kids to the pool and to goof off with them. The number one thing you can do is affirm the work your wife is doing and refuse to let people criticize her. Assuming she and the kids are reading, thinking, learning each day, the kids will indeed learn and grow and be fine. If relatives or friends criticize, stand together with your wife. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
happypamama Posted July 17, 2012 Share Posted July 17, 2012 Lots of good advice here. I would add "be the principal." Be your wife's backup. If she says something needs to be done, enforce that. Especially as your kids get older, sometimes they complain at having to do work that stretches their brains; it's really helpful to me that DH backs me up. If you're interested in researching curricula, that's great! But no matter how great a program is, or how interesting it is for you, it has to match the teaching style of the teacher and the learning style of the children, so if it doesn't work for your wife, be amenable to her using something else. Or make it a subject you take over in the evenings/weekends. Accept that your wife has the same 24 hours a day that you do, and she's trying to fit a lot into that time, especially with young children around. Sometimes she can't fit everything in, so be patient and flexible. :) Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
swellmomma Posted July 17, 2012 Share Posted July 17, 2012 Don't question WHY she has to buy 5 Science programs, just smile and pay the bill :lol: Accept that the house will never be at tidy as it would if the kids were in school, there will be days your wife if exhausted and the worst thing you could do is suggest a)to put the kids into b&m school or b)that she is home all day so she should be able to accomplish xyz There will be days when she will want to throw in the towel and quit, it happens to the best of us. Just hold her and let her cry it out. She doesn't actually want to quit, she just needs to be heard. Buy and wear a kilt post pictures of it here. Oh what this was how to help your wife...never mind :lol: Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
cdrumm4448 Posted July 17, 2012 Share Posted July 17, 2012 (edited) Dylan, Welcome to the forums! We are sooo glad to have a man in uniform here! :D Ft. Bragg is an awesome base. Our family toured the Airborne Special Ops museum on base a few years ago. My husband acts like a "principal" most of the time, while I take care of the teaching duties. But when my kids were little, he helped make sure they were obeying me, so I could teach them better. Ask your wife every day "what can I do to make your day easier?" and then follow through with whatever she suggests. It might be something as simple as "I need a hug right now", to "please take care of buying the groceries today" or "can you listen to _____'s spelling words." Homeschooling is a huge responsibility, and a stealer of our time. I try to pack a lot into 24 hours, but sometimes stuff just has to slip by until the next day. If your wife needs a neat, clean, tidy house to function, help pick up! Books take up a lot of space. She might need help keeping the homeschooling space organized and "untouched" by little hands. Have a safe trip back to the States! And thank you for asking us our opinion! Welcome to the journey of homeschooling. :001_smile: :iagree::iagree::iagree:I can't agree enough! If my DH asked me every day what he could help me with, I would be so happy there aren't words. I would reciprocate, IYKWIM. Because of the happiness. Edited July 17, 2012 by cdrumm4448 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Parrothead Posted July 17, 2012 Share Posted July 17, 2012 Buy and wear a kilt post pictures of it here. Oh what this was how to help your wife...never mind :lol: Yeah, he wasn't asking how he could help us. So it may be helpful to his dw if he buys and wears the kilt, the photos would only satisfy us. :lol: DHF: Search kilts if you don't understand the reference. ;) Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Desert Rat Posted July 17, 2012 Share Posted July 17, 2012 My husband is mostly my cheerleader. Sometimes he searches Netflix for fun movies to go with our studies. He accepts a messy house. He talks to the kids about things they're learning. When he sees an educational opportunity, he tries to fold it in. Generally speaking, I think just being a Good Dad makes for being a Good Homeschool Dad, with as much or as little involvement as mutually agreeable. Be safe! :grouphug: :iagree: Welcome, Dylan! My dh is pretty much the same. During a long layoff, he picked up science for me and supervised homework. Now that he's back to work, he still helps with science now and again. Mostly, he checks in on how the boys are doing and what they are learning. They discuss history together. The most important thing he does for me is listens when I have a bad day and understands that it's just a bad day. I don't want to give up homeschooling for a bad day here and there. Stay safe! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
justamouse Posted July 17, 2012 Share Posted July 17, 2012 Welcome! And thank you so much for your service. What My dh does is teach all of the Algebra and up math classes. :-) He is my defender against people in the family who disagree with our choices, and he's my cheerleader. He's also the provider that makes our HS happen. I go to him with questions if I'm having trouble figuring something out as far as how to teach something. He has just enough 'outside' perspective to be a real help. He's an intelligent conversant. Our dining room table is a great conversation and he's always right in there, with the kids. He supports the culture of our house, and of our homeschool. So, he's not in on the every day, but he's an integral piece to the success of our homeschool experience. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Parrothead Posted July 17, 2012 Share Posted July 17, 2012 Oh, I thought of something else. You deal with those on your side of the family that would make disparaging comments about your family's choice to home school. Your dw will be busy dealing with her side. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
fairfarmhand Posted July 17, 2012 Share Posted July 17, 2012 my dh does very lttle of the day to day teaching/grading/organizing, but he is still a great homeschooling father. He gives me time alone away from the kids, is a great help in getting the kids moving on chores (I do get so tired of telling people what to do), and he listens to me complain on bad days. (He had to learn that sometimes I was looking for suggestions, other times I was just griping to get it off my chest. He's learned the subtle cues to tell the difference) He never suggests that we put the kids in school, even when we've had bad weeks, months and years. Accept that the house will look very lived in. Just because she is home all day, that also means that the kids are there too, and while she is teaching one child, the other is likely making a mess. Some mom's do well with keeping order while homeschooling, while others struggle a bit. Still others don't have a tidy house even when the kids are all in school! Never compare your family or wife to another homeschooling family. It looks different for every family. While you can gently nudge things in the direction that you may prefer with encouraging suggestions, try not to criticize or hand down orders unless you have spent weeks doing her job to get a feel for how things work out. Right off the top of my head, there are my suggestions. Welcome to the boards! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Catherine Posted July 17, 2012 Share Posted July 17, 2012 I would also add that it's so demoralizing to the teaching parent when the non-teaching parent promises to take on a schooling task and then doesn't follow through. Don't make promises you can't keep. :) Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Hwin Posted July 17, 2012 Share Posted July 17, 2012 Welcome :) If you're on a homeschooling forum asking how to support your wife, then you probably don't need any advice from us! I have a wildly different home situation and, short version, we both give 100% at work and home and school. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
dhudson Posted July 17, 2012 Share Posted July 17, 2012 Thank you for your service on our behalf, we are grateful for both your sacrifice and your family's sacrifice. The best things my dh does for me are- 1. Goes to convention with me when he can. He often sees the big picture while I am miring in details. 2. Recognize homeschooling as my job and treat it as such. He values the time I spend with the kids and only very rarely comments on the pb&j for dinner.;) 3. When my kids were younger, on a particularly bad day, he offered to quit work so that he could homeschool and I could get a job to support the family. He said it sincerely and lovingly but it showed me how much he valued homeschooling and made me take a step back and evaluate my priorities. 4. From a distance as you are, (my dh was a software consultant and worked 2 weeks away from home a month for several years) he encouraged me to get babysitters to get some needed time off. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Jaz Posted July 17, 2012 Share Posted July 17, 2012 Two specific things I really appreciate about my dh who travels extensively for work: 1. He helps me plan semester goals for each of our dc. The goals may be educational in nature, such as memorize multiplication facts or practical, such as learn to ride a bike. Our most important goals are relational, such as learn to play with his sister (when our ds was young). When I'm struggling with homeschooling, I can review our short-term goals and see what is important to our family at that moment. It makes it easier to let go of unrealistic expectations or adjust our schedule, etc. 2. He calls on the phone and reads to our dc. I agree with the other poster, you should record books! My brother once recorded a bunch of our Five in a Row (my favorite curriculum for younger kids) picture books. Both dc listened to them for years. :) Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
swellmomma Posted July 17, 2012 Share Posted July 17, 2012 I thought of another one. Take whatever image you have in your brain of what a homeschooling family looks like and throw it away. No family no matter how many cute blog posts they have fits the image any of us had in our mind when we first started out and it can lead to many unneccessary feelings of failure for not fitting that image. Kids will squabble and pout about doing school work, teens will get surly and backtalk, and contrary to popular belief not all homeschooled kids love to read and learn. Some want to do nothing more than lay on the couch playing video games. Just like other aspects of parenting there is times you or your wife will have to be the "bad guy" and say no dice, get yer butt to work. Kids are kids, and each one is different. Don't compare your kids to the ones on some random blog or even to us on here, even though we all are all awesome and perfect *insert eyeroll*. As someone here once said you will be comparing your worst to their best. Not conducive to long term sanity. And when all else fails, bring home flowers and chocolate and take the kids to the park so she can relax. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
deltahotelfoxtrot Posted July 17, 2012 Author Share Posted July 17, 2012 WOW! Thank you so much for the amazing replies! I am sure that even if I just left it all to my DW that she would be able to nail it, but some of the ideas you all had were things we probably wouldn’t have thought of (which is a big reason I posted in the first place). As we move around with the Army and face more deployments I know we will encounter more and unique challenges, however part of the reason we are homeschooling is to give the kids stability and consistency when I work a job that provides neither. I really liked how many of you related the DH to a principal, I never quite thought of it like that, and hope I can handle some of the discipline and odd ball issues for my DW since I know she will have her hands full as it is. I think I most look forward to helping with the science experiments (I’m a bit of a geek) and teaching some of the more practical non academic subjects (running, bird house building, etc). I will certainly take everything you ladies said to heart, and I will work on trying to get my DW on the forums. I also want to thank everyone for your thoughts and prayers. This is my second deployment to Afghanistan and my DS was born about 5 days before I deployed so I look forward to getting back and making up for lost time. Oh, my family ancestry is Scottish so I will see what I can do about the Kilt! :lol: Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
swellmomma Posted July 17, 2012 Share Posted July 17, 2012 WOW! Thank you so much for the amazing replies! I am sure that even if I just left it all to my DW that she would be able to nail it, but some of the ideas you all had were things we probably wouldn’t have thought of (which is a big reason I posted in the first place). As we move around with the Army and face more deployments I know we will encounter more and unique challenges, however part of the reason we are homeschooling is to give the kids stability and consistency when I work a job that provides neither. I really liked how many of you related the DH to a principal, I never quite thought of it like that, and hope I can handle some of the discipline and odd ball issues for my DW since I know she will have her hands full as it is. I think I most look forward to helping with the science experiments (I’m a bit of a geek) and teaching some of the more practical non academic subjects (running, bird house building, etc). I will certainly take everything you ladies said to heart, and I will work on trying to get my DW on the forums. I also want to thank everyone for your thoughts and prayers. This is my second deployment to Afghanistan and my DS was born about 5 days before I deployed so I look forward to getting back and making up for lost time. Oh, my family ancestry is Scottish so I will see what I can do about the Kilt! :lol: You will make a fine addition to the hive :D Don't forget to get your wife to join us too. Sometimes all she will need is the support of those of us in the thick of things too, especially those of us that have been at this for a few years. Also when you are deployment it would be beneficial for her to talk with those of us on the hive that are also single (whether temporarily due to the dh's work, or more permanently) and homeschooling, because that offers it's own unique homeschooling experience. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
ocelotmom Posted July 17, 2012 Share Posted July 17, 2012 What I'm getting from this thread is go to http://homeschoolingryangosling.tumblr.com/ and be that guy :) Seriously though... the role of the dad in homeschooling varies from family to family. In some families, the mother wants to be fully in charge, with the father just offering financial and emotional support. In others, the dad does shares in the teaching. And sometimes the dad is the primary or sole teacher. You have to find the balance that works for both of you in your particular circumstances. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Night Elf Posted July 17, 2012 Share Posted July 17, 2012 I can't tell you about the distance because I don't have personal experience with it. But I can tell you that my DH is heavily involved in homeschooling. Much of our schoolwork lends itself to discussion and DH is involved in everything. But he works from home and is here when we need him. When the kids were much younger and he worked in the office, I did the greater majority of work. But when we hit the high school years and school work became very important, he jumped right in with us. When I was doing the majority, he was always 100% supportive. He talked to the kids when he got home from work. He helped them in anything they needed help on. He helped me make some curriculum decisions. I am sure I wouldn't have liked it if he left everything to me and showed no interest at all. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Beth S Posted July 17, 2012 Share Posted July 17, 2012 Treat the WTM book like a buffet. :001_smile: Your dw will not be able to juggle the two little ones AND do a full slate of academics for the oldest one. Hopefully you can glean from SWB's suggestions, and even come up with ideas that work BETTER for your family. With a Kindergartener, the main thing to look for is a willing, happy, cooperative attitude (for both the student AND the teacher LOL), which is quite a new challenge. And remembering this whole adventure (just like parenting in general) is a marathon not a sprint. Making step-by-step progress toward the big goals ends up to be fascinating. Watching your child learn to read a bit better every day is one of the most rewarding activities of that first year (or so) of homeschooling. Let the adventure begin!:001_smile: Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
tntgoodwin Posted July 17, 2012 Share Posted July 17, 2012 Welcome! Good to have another military homeschooling father here! In our family, I am the curriculum junkie, so it is a bit different for us than for a lot of the people here. I "substitute teach" on days when I am home early or am off work, I do 90% of the curriculum choosing (with her input, of course), and just do what I can do to help her as she needs. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
happypamama Posted July 17, 2012 Share Posted July 17, 2012 Oh, I thought of something else. You deal with those on your side of the family that would make disparaging comments about your family's choice to home school. Your dw will be busy dealing with her side. :iagree: Oh, yes. In fact, any time people disparage your family's choice to homeschool, step in and back up your wife. But especially with your side of the family. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
WVNA Posted July 17, 2012 Share Posted July 17, 2012 My wife and I are new to the homeschooling scene and will be taking the plunge in a couple weeks with our oldest child as she starts her first year in Classical Conversations. Unfortunately I won’t be there for the beginning of this experience since I still have a couple months left on my deployment to Afghanistan. I have a copy of “The Well Trained Mind, 3rd Ed.†on the way to me thanks to Amazon, but in the meantime I am more anxious about my little girl growing up back home than the bullets and bombs over here. I have been browsing the forums for a couple days and have been looking for a leaping point. It appears to me that most of the people posting here are female, so I curiously ask out of ignorance, how do your DHs fit into the homeschooling process? How are they typically involved, and what (if anything) can I do to help my DW from a distance? First, let me thank you for your military service. I'm also a husband who tries to help out as much as I can with homeschooling. The main thing is to figure out what your wife wants help with. In our house, I do all the science work and a lot of the math work. When I have the day off, I also take over teaching duties that day. Just like tntgoodwin, I am also the one who does most of the curriculum research. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
FO4UR Posted July 18, 2012 Share Posted July 18, 2012 Be interested in seeing the projects and papers...hang some in a special place. Help with the housework at night...your wife has been working all day. Take over teaching the kids to do chores cheerfully. Send her to plan/rest/work on anything besides kid-related work while you and the kids clean up the kitchen/living areas after dinner. Read aloud to the kids. Have fun searching for great literature with your wife...or at least be open to her suggestions. On your days off (Haha - do you get those!?!) spend some time doing some messy art with the kids - and teach them to clean it up when they are done. Teach the kids to do whatever it is that you do for a hobby. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Ibbygirl Posted July 18, 2012 Share Posted July 18, 2012 I have nothing to add to the discussion, but I just wanted to welcome you to the boards and to the homeschooling journey. It's an amazing ride. :) If your wife isn't yet a member here I'd encourage her to become one. These boards function as a support group as well as being an invaluable resource for information. :) Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
swellmomma Posted July 18, 2012 Share Posted July 18, 2012 I have nothing to add to the discussion, but I just wanted to welcome you to the boards and to the homeschooling journey. It's an amazing ride. :) If your wife isn't yet a member here I'd encourage her to become one. These boards function as a support group as well as being an invaluable resource for information. :) :iagree: plus I am on here which should make joining a no brainer for her. I am sure she has heard of me, I'm that famous and awesome. ;) Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
acablue Posted July 18, 2012 Share Posted July 18, 2012 The ladies on here are much better with advice than I am, so I'll just say that the very fact that you're sitting in Afghanistan reading a homeschooling forum basically guarantees that you're going to be an awesome homeschooling dad. Welcome! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Ibbygirl Posted July 18, 2012 Share Posted July 18, 2012 :iagree: plus I am on here which should make joining a no brainer for her. I am sure she has heard of me, I'm that famous and awesome. ;) :lol::lol::lol: It's true! She is! :) Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
BigMamaBird Posted July 18, 2012 Share Posted July 18, 2012 (edited) Welcome Dylan. Please stay safe over there! When it comes to selecting curriculum, I do the research and pretty much decide on what to use. I run all the options past him and have him help me in the decision process, but he has stated that he's comfortable trusting me with the choice. I do the hands on, day to day teaching and work, but he's very supportive in the evenings and on weekends taking the kids so I can have some alone time. And a few times a year he tries to take a day off to come on a field trip with us. He really enjoys doing that! Last year our group took a tour of a Fire Truck Manufacturing plant and he had more fun than the kids! He's in the IT field and also has a degree in Electrical Repair, so he covers a lot of our "techy" stuff. My dd LOVES the Snap Circuit kit that he got her! They do the projects together and they really enjoy the time they share doing that. If you can find your niche and work that into your homeschooling someway, it will give your kids something to share with you. And occasionally, after a hard day of teaching, he'll go out and get me ice cream. That's very, very important! Edited July 18, 2012 by BigMamaBird Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
LMD Posted July 18, 2012 Share Posted July 18, 2012 Welcome! You've had some great advice already. The only thing I can think to add is that my DH really helps with the focus and direction of our homeschool, our philosophy, what is important to us etc. It helps me not to get carried away with the latest 'best curriculum' or method, because I know that DH & I have a plan that we believe in and are excited about. He's not intimately involved in every book purchase, but the overall focus of our time is something we discuss regularly. And he can't wait until the kids are a little bit older to do all the 'dangerous' fun stuff with them! Lots of power tools and fire I think - I don't want to know... Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
tothenthdegree Posted July 18, 2012 Share Posted July 18, 2012 Dylan, thanks for serving our country and kudos to your wife for holding down the fort with all those babies. I will remember her when I'm complaining about my husband being 15 minutes late from work. Thanks for starting this thread....it's going on my hubby's assigned reading list :lol: You have received lots of wise counsel; you came to the right place. God bless you and your family. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
kricau Posted July 18, 2012 Share Posted July 18, 2012 :patriot: I just wanted to thank you for what you are doing for our country. God Bless You !!! As for my family, my dh is more of the principal LOL He steps in if I need any behaviors corrected. He listens to me ramble on about curriculum, and what we did that day. And he admires and praises any work that is show to him :) I think you can do all those things from a distance. Are you able to Skype with each other? Keep up the great work. My wife and I are new to the homeschooling scene and will be taking the plunge in a couple weeks with our oldest child as she starts her first year in Classical Conversations. Unfortunately I won’t be there for the beginning of this experience since I still have a couple months left on my deployment to Afghanistan. I have a copy of “The Well Trained Mind, 3rd Ed.†on the way to me thanks to Amazon, but in the meantime I am more anxious about my little girl growing up back home than the bullets and bombs over here. I have been browsing the forums for a couple days and have been looking for a leaping point. It appears to me that most of the people posting here are female, so I curiously ask out of ignorance, how do your DHs fit into the homeschooling process? How are they typically involved, and what (if anything) can I do to help my DW from a distance? Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
russiantwins Posted July 18, 2012 Share Posted July 18, 2012 My wife and I are new to the homeschooling scene and will be taking the plunge in a couple weeks with our oldest child as she starts her first year in Classical Conversations. Unfortunately I won’t be there for the beginning of this experience since I still have a couple months left on my deployment to Afghanistan. I have a copy of “The Well Trained Mind, 3rd Ed.†on the way to me thanks to Amazon, but in the meantime I am more anxious about my little girl growing up back home than the bullets and bombs over here. I have been browsing the forums for a couple days and have been looking for a leaping point. It appears to me that most of the people posting here are female, so I curiously ask out of ignorance, how do your DHs fit into the homeschooling process? How are they typically involved, and what (if anything) can I do to help my DW from a distance? My husband teaches history and Bible, at night, when he comes home from work, usually around 7. It lasts an hour. He also does all the neat extra things he likes, such as American Indians, or how to tie cool knots. They love that time with their father, and it gives me a chance to get ready for the next day and have an hour of me time. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
LaxMom Posted July 18, 2012 Share Posted July 18, 2012 The ladies on here are much better with advice than I am, so I'll just say that the very fact that you're sitting in Afghanistan reading a homeschooling forum basically guarantees that you're going to be an awesome homeschooling dad. Welcome! Indeed. My husband is actively involved and has officially taken over the STEM subjects this year (that's his happy area, so I get Lib Arts). He works a 24 on /72 off schedule, though, so it's easy for us to work it like that. Keep doing what you're doing: be involved and part of the process as much as your schedule allows. Be open to finding what works for your family, instead of trying to fit into someone else's ideal. You'll all have a great time and learn a lot! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
kubiac Posted July 18, 2012 Share Posted July 18, 2012 The ladies on here are much better with advice than I am, so I'll just say that the very fact that you're sitting in Afghanistan reading a homeschooling forum basically guarantees that you're going to be an awesome homeschooling dad. Welcome! What he said! And another welcome to you. No wisdom that hasn't already been shared, except that homeschooling seems to involve a lot of books that take up a lot of space, so be prepared for that (this might also come up if the family moves frequently) and I love the idea of you doing video recordings of storybooks for your children! This photo of a soldier reading to his kid via Skype just made the rounds and was inspirational to everyone who saw it! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
sparkygirl Posted July 18, 2012 Share Posted July 18, 2012 (edited) Welcome to the Hive! In our home I am the working parent, DH stays at home with the kids and will be homeschooling. In our family I am the planner and organizer so I take on the research and development role, putting together workboxes etc. Use your Army career to the benefit of your homeschooling. As a Public Health Service Officer I strive to take advantage of AD benefits for my family. Travel when you can to see and experience what you DD is learning. Explore Space A travel and MWR lodging through all the branches including the Coast Guard who have some awesome options. When you can work with your wife to plan "field trips" for your family. Keep an idea log book of trips and homeschool experiences you want your children to have record where and what it would tie into for example there is an MWR facility in Great Pond Maine it is a 4 hour drive from there to Prince Edward Island and the Anne of Green Gables park and museum. Look into the Coast Guard Lodging in Marathon, FL to bring to life an ocean unit study in the Florida Key's. We keep a log of the MWR facilities we would like to visit and include the specific details for each for example the recreation house on Cuttyhunk Island off Cape Cod requires reservation by e-mail for AD the reservation date is March 1 of the year you want to travel. If the site has pictures we include those to jog our memories on what we liked about each location. I mention these ideas and suggestions as they are things you can do long distance and sent back to your wife. Also, check with the USO about their reading program I was having a really rough time leaving my family behind to return to my Duty Station and the USO ladies at the airport pulled me aside and brought me to another location in the airport where I recorded a story for the kids that was then sent to them with the book. Edited July 18, 2012 by sparkygirl Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Sahamamama Posted July 19, 2012 Share Posted July 19, 2012 How do your DHs fit into the homeschooling process? How are they typically involved, and what (if anything) can I do to help my DW from a distance? My husband travels most of the time, but he is still involved in what we do. First, he provides for us and lets me know that he supports what we do in our homeschool. We set aside a certain amount each month for school materials (automatic deposit in a dedicated account). Secondly, he listens to me go on and on and on (wince) about the minutiae of curriculum choices, Charlotte Mason narration v. Susan Wise-Bauer narration, why that philosophy of French language learning will never work, why Latin matters, how to use that math manipulative, and on and on and on. :willy_nilly: He sometimes seems to know what I'm talking about, which is still a mystery to me. :lol: When your wife needs to talk it out, be the Big Ear :bigear:. Thirdly, he prays for me to have wisdom, health, patience, and strength. I am so glad my husband prays for his family! Fourthly, he spends time with the girls when he is home, freeing me to rest, recharge, plan, get out by myself, and visit other women. Fifthly, he helps out with chores and errands when he's home. He pitches in wherever there's something "on the list" of things to do. He puts up with crock pot meals and soup, even though he's "not a soup kinda guy." LOL. We are a great team, I think. Sixthly, he reads to the girls when I am too exhausted or have lost my voice (or when I'm not). Especially with young children, so much of what we do all day involves me talking, teaching, directing, explaining, and READING ALOUD. Sometimes I am simply drained, but when my husband reads aloud to the girls -- or actively listens to them read to him -- it is truly a help to me. Plus, the girls love it. :D Finally, I would say that my husband has an overall positive attitude about -- well, everything! He is pleasant and happy. He is lively and funny. We don't have to completely change our routine when he is traveling or when he is home -- we just keep making progress in the work. When he's home, he helps out by simply being fun. He supports homeschooling; this is as much his decision as it is mine. We decided to go this route together, and we are walking this route together, even though much of the day-to-day implementation is mine. He trusts me to do well with it, he trusts that the girls are learning even when homeschooling doesn't look like "school," he praises my work to others, he never undermines what we do by criticism, and he encourages the girls to do their best and to learn. I admit, I love it when he brags me up! :001_wub: HTH. Welcome to the forum, and may God bring you home soon and safely. :patriot: Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Mrs Mungo Posted July 19, 2012 Share Posted July 19, 2012 I think military careers provide particular types of challenges. One thing that has not been mentioned, but that is important to me? Join a support group. There are co-ops on and off-post. There are FRG meetings, chapel services, meetings for families of deployed soldiers, PWOC and much more. Having a few go-to people (military and non-military) is one of the most important things I do when my dh is deployed. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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