Do you speak to other people's children when they are acting badly in public. . .

[Marie in Oh]

and there are no parents in sight? I tend to correct children who are not mine whether I know them or not.

 

The other night at my ds baseball game my girls were playing at the park and there was a girl going around asking how old all the girls how old they were. Then, she would say stuff like-- "no way, you are too small to be "x age." There is not way your that old. I'm seven and you are only up to here on me." Childish, I know, but she was very snotty and very rude. She just seemed to enjoy picking on the little ones around her. Of course, no parents in sight. So I spoke to her. I told her to stop picking on girls younger than her and that I was going to sit there and make sure she was going to behave herself.

 

So, what about you? Do you speak to children who are not yours?

[Remudamom]

Absolutely. And I bout got my fanny kicked one night by a big ol trashy momma who didn't want her little bully scolded. And I still can't keep my mouth shut.

[Jennifer in MI]

Yes, I do. And, I hope that other parents would do that with my kids if they ever misbehave in public and I'm not right there to correct it. I want kids to know that adults are watching and listening.

 

I had to correct a group of girls at our last baseball game too. These were 10 - 12 yos. They were using the most foul language EVER!! I very calmly asked them to refrain from using such vulgar language when kids were around as I didn't want my dd (2 and with me) to pick it up.

 

Good for you!!!

[beansprouts]

If they are treating others badly, or are in iminent danger to themselves or others - yes. Then it *is* my problem. If it is an issue where other families may have different rules, I leave it alone.

[beansprouts]

I had to correct a group of girls at our last baseball game too. These were 10 - 12 yos. They were using the most foul language EVER!! I very calmly asked them to refrain from using such vulgar language when kids were around as I didn't want my dd (2 and with me) to pick it up.

 

 

 

I have done this also, with kids and grown ups ;)

[abbeyej]

If they are treating others badly, or are in iminent danger to themselves or others - yes. Then it *is* my problem. If it is an issue where other families may have different rules, I leave it alone.

 

Yes, I do the same...

[bkpan]

If I saw another child hitting, beating up on another child, being destructive, etc., I would intervene. I would not correct manners, however. I would not feel as if that is my place to correct.

 

In the scenario that you mentioned, I would probably call my dc over and point out the other child's rude behavior, and the lack of character that it showed. If I was really annoyed, I might say it loud it enough for the other child to hear :D

 

Most circumstances would probably lead us to have a private conversation on the way home or similar. HTH

 

Kim

[dragons in the flower bed]

 

So, what about you? Do you speak to children who are not yours?

 

Generally, yes, I consider it appropriate to step in and stop innocents from harming each other or themselves. I think I'm pretty gentle. I tend to be nonpunitive with my own kids, so I certainly am gentle with strangers. I tend to hit strange kids up with one-liners, like, "Destroyed merchandise means increased prices," or, "When you insult a companion, you reveal more about your own character." I never leave fist-fighting kids alone, either, and I let them know I'd be happy to testify in court that I witnessed an assault.

 

It sure does make parents angry, though. I've had grown-ups seek me out later, all red in the face. "Did you tell my son . . . ?!"

 

I have never said this, but I always think, "Why yes, I did expose your child to the truth about human relations in society. If you don't want him to learn about the consequences of his behavior in the real world, for pete's sake, don't leave him out here."

[homeschoolmom]

Yes, I do. And, I hope that other parents would do that with my kids if they ever misbehave in public and I'm not right there to correct it. I want kids to know that adults are watching and listening.

 

:iagree: Yup, kids need to know there is an adult around watching their behavior who is not going to let them be a brat.

 

Mind you I would not go out of my way to insert myself but if I'm there and there is a child acting up in such a way as to impact others I will let them know that I think their behavior is unacceptable and needs to stop (and if DH or I are not around and our DD is acting up, by all means say something to her....and let us know too so we can address it as well.)

[AustinTea]

I have never said this, but I always think, "Why yes, I did expose your child to the truth about human relations in society. If you don't want him to learn about the consequences of his behavior in the real world, for pete's sake, don't leave him out here."

 

:lol: I like your response, even if it is only in thought.

[kribby]

it depends on what they are doing, most time no..........

[nancypants]

If they are treating others badly, or are in iminent danger to themselves or others - yes. Then it *is* my problem. If it is an issue where other families may have different rules, I leave it alone.

 

Same here. In fact, I did this once when I wasn't even a Mom yet. I was a part time nanny for a while for a friend who was on bedrest with her third pregnancy. I put a little boy (probably 4 or 5 years old) in his place when I took the kids out to grab something to eat because he was pushing little one and two year olds off the play equipment left and right and none of the other mothers would say anything to him. I got in his face and asked him if he would like for me to push him off of the play equipment and then told him very sternly that he better stop being mean!

[Sweetpeach]

I don't "scold" other people's children, but I have no problem gathering a group of children and explaining how to play with each other gently. I tend not to single out specific kids yet if children are in a group and not acting appropriately, then I have no issues interrupting play for the sake of the greater good, ie: someone getting hurt.

[OnTheBrink]

Not normally, but I will if bad behavior is infringing me personally.

 

I took dd to see Peter and the Wolf when she was 4. It was a day performance so there were a lot of public schools there on field trips. After the performance, they did a short little promo of a rock ballet the local ballet company was giving and the music was "Walk This Way" by Aerosmith. The dancing was obviously more modern and hip than the dancing in P&tW. The boys behind us (about 10 years old, I'd guess) were cat-calling, hooting, whoohooing, and shouting "Yeah! Shake it BABY! OOOH Yeah!" etc. NOT ONE ADULT SITTING WITH THEM SAID A WORD. So, I did. I turned around and said very sharply, "That's ENOUGH!" with the meanest mommy face I could muster. They quickly quieted down and didn't say another word. None of the adults there even acknowledged me or their rude behavior. I was astounded. But, their behavior did explain why the local symphony does a special performance for kids that includes fun lessons on appropriate theatre behavior. I guess these kids missed that one.

[shalom22]

Absolutely. And I bout got my fanny kicked one night by a big ol trashy momma who didn't want her little bully scolded. And I still can't keep my mouth shut.

 

You go girl!!

[Tammy]

but if they were doing something really bad....and no adult was present...I probably would. If an adult IS present...I think you are asking for it, LOL!

 

Tammy

[Mom2legomaniacs]

Yes and no. It really depends on the situation and so forth. I have asked kids to refrain from certain things at times. I have warned them to be careful in certain instances in order to catch the attention of the parents. I'll phrase it in a way that seems their safety or someone else's may be in danger making the parents aware as well. (kind of a sneaky way to sort of scold but not really)

 

I will ask them to watch their language as there are smaller kids around and things of that nature. And I have given "the look" to some in order to stop them from doing something bad. It really just depends on the situation. Most of the times I have said things are in situations when someone has the potential of being injured in some way.

[angela in ohio]

I don't, but ever since dh became a principal, he will have a stern taking to with just about any child her meets, LOL. I think it is some sort of agreement principals sign. He just yelled at some boys in the grocery store and made them pick up the mess they made (throwing paper product packages on the floor,) and their mom thanked him.

 

I tend to correct other adults more (like the man yelling at the cashier in line in front of me for something that isn't her fault,) LOL, which dh claims is more dangerous. :)

 

When I was kid, growing up in a small town, if you did something wrong across town, your mom would know by the time you got home. It was very good for us!

[Kris]

I tend to mind my own business unless it's something serious -- which being rude and obnoxious, while annoying, isn't. Where do you draw the "age line?" Most adults I know don't behave any better than the kid you're describing.

[Dayle in Guatemala]

I feel that we do a disservice to children when there aren't boundaries and expectations. I don't scold them, but, I may say something like, "You know, you really shouldn't do ____________ or say ___________. Most people consider that inappropriate behavior."

 

If I notice a child misbehaving in front of their parents and it just continues and continues, I'll sometimes say something then, too. Usually you can tell if the parent is just not wanting to be involved or if they are just really at the end of their rope. I try to give grace when they are at the end of their rope. Sometimes I'll offer to help them bag their groceries or whatever.

 

There have been times when my dc have misbehaved in public and, really, I was just at the end of my rope and needed to get out of the store or whatever. I knew their behavior was bad, but, I really needed someone to step in and help not correct me or them.

[cin]

If the behavior is dangerous to themselves or others, or intruding on others' rights (such as my right to pee in peace ) I WILL say something to the parents.

[TN Mama]

So, what about you? Do you speak to children who are not yours?

 

 

I do. I'm nice about it and I'll gently ask a child not to do something that is a) ugly to other children or b) could be harmful to themselves or other children. If the child continues harmful behavior, I usually seek out the parent.

[AndyJoy]

I think it depends on the severity of the actions, but I have intervened several times.

 

When I was 18, I saw an 8-year-old boy put a candy in his pocket at the grocery store. He actually looked right at me before doing it, and evidently assumed I was blind or wouldn't care. I told him that was stealing and to put it back. He denied having done it, but I said, "Put it back or I'll go find your mom and the manager." He put it back and ran.

 

When I was 19, a 10-year-old boy was chasing his 6-year-old brother around the Halloween display at Walmart spraying him with green hair dye. The 6-year-old was screaming at him to stop. Besides the destruction of property, I was concerned about the boy getting sprayed in the eye. I yelled, "Stop right now! You could seriously injure your brother and by using that up without buying it you are stealing. Where is your mother?" The boy was shocked, but stopped and took me to his mother and father, who were two aisles away with two more kids. I told her what he had done, and they were polite to me and dealt with him.

 

I have no problems speaking to kids when I think the situation warrants it. If the parent is with them, I stay out of it unless it is infringing upon me, such as the kid kicking my seat at the theater. In this situation, I give the parent the benefit of the doubt and politely ask them to ask their child to stop.

[Michelle T]

but have to admit I lack the courage to scold teenagers who are using terrible language in public. It might be far-fetched, but I wouldn't risk angering a group of teenage boys, particularly if there weren't a lot of other people around.

Michelle T

[Jennifer in MI]

but have to admit I lack the courage to scold teenagers who are using terrible language in public. It might be far-fetched, but I wouldn't risk angering a group of teenage boys, particularly if there weren't a lot of other people around.

Michelle T

 

 

You know, in this case, I've been known to call the non-emergency number of our local police. At the beginning of this baseball season, there were a number of older boys hanging out at the elementary school park (right near the baseball diamonds) where I would watch my dd. They would use foul language and run around like they owned the place - running over little kids. A bunch of us decided we'd had it and talked to the police. The told us to call them! We don't have this problem anymore!!

[lynn]

Oh absolutely. My dd was in a climbing tube and this girl behind her was a year or 2 older kept yelling at her to hurry up. I did not hesitiate to say "Stop yelling at her". I had to say it a couple times sternly to get her to stop yelling at me my dd. I don't put up with that. I don't hesitate to get a parents attention either if their child is bullying.

[Soph the vet]

Yes, I do. And I would want other adults to steer my dc in the right direction as well if I was not present and they were misbehaving. One of my friends' ds7 thinks I can "tame a wild tiger" all because I told him to stop running at church. Maybe I need to keep my tone in check!;)

[lynn]

I have also had to point out to teenagers at the pool that there were small children around and to please be more careful. Sometimes in fun I think they forget to watch out and most of the time the unwanted behaviour stops.

[ereks mom]

I put a little boy (probably 4 or 5 years old) in his place when I took the kids out to grab something to eat because he was pushing little one and two year olds off the play equipment left and right and none of the other mothers would say anything to him. I got in his face and asked him if he would like for me to push him off of the play equipment and then told him very sternly that he better stop being mean!

 

...practically threatened to sue! I was sitting right there and saw the whole thing, plus the mom's reaction, and was speechless! The mean kid was hitting and throwing things and pushing, and when my SIL said something to him and he kept it up and even hit at my SIL. She grabbed his hand -- gently -- to stop him from striking her and the other dc. The mama came up and went ballistic on my SIL, and said something like, "Don't touch my child! If you'd do that to someone else's child, I feel sorry for your kids because there's no telling how you treat them at home!" etc., etc.

[Jean in Newcastle]

If behavior is dangerous or unwise, I will speak up. It can be scary confronting older teens but I've done that too. I'm polite but firm (I expect to be obeyed!) and it has worked for me. I talked to a gang of teens once who were horsing around in a park - they had taken a picnic table and had put it into the lake to jump off of. I told them that when they were done, they needed to put it back in the park. If it was left here it could have been a serious hazard for boaters. My sister was shocked and scared to death that I had talked to them, but when they were done swimming, they put it back and came over to tell me that they'd cleaned up after themselves!

 

I do not confront people who are out of control - esp. if they are bigger than me! I will call the police.

[teamturner]

I will absolutely say something to a child who is putting himself or others in danger or being very unkind/inappropriate. I say it very gently yet sternly. I would want someone to do the same for my dc if I were not right there as well. I especially do it when neighborhood kids are playing at my house and need some help being nice. :D

[Tracey in TX]

Yes, I also correct DCs who are not my own. My rules of engagement are when safety is a factor, inappropriate behavior which offends others, or when it appears as if the child is looking for a boundary with nobody to grant it. I'll step up to the challenge. LOL

 

If it's a preference of behavior, then it's none of my business. Perhaps parents have different expectations than we do. That's okay, provided it doesn't negatively impact us. Yelling out "f'ing a...", which recently happened, DOES affect my little bubble and will voice a protest.

[Elaine]

I do, and I am usually very nice about it. I seem to have my biggest confrontations, for lack of a better word, at our local skatepark. The older boys are pretty good about self-sensoring when they see my four year old, but around my older boys, they tend to let the expletives fly.

 

I have found that I get the best reaction with this statement, "Hey, guys! Do you think that you could curtail the colorful language? My boys really look up to you older boys and so I would just ask that you set a good example." I follow it up with my most winning smile and 9 out of 10 times, they apologize to me!:001_smile:

 

I only say something if it involves us directly.

[gardenschooler]

I tend to mind my own business unless it's something serious -- which being rude and obnoxious, while annoying, isn't. Where do you draw the "age line?" Most adults I know don't behave any better than the kid you're describing.

 

I agree. I've found it's not safe to even interact with the type of people who will allow this socially unacceptable behavior in their children. The apple doesn't fall far from the tree. I don't have a problem with kids misbehaving, it's when the parent just sits and watches and sits and sits....or worse yet, calls out, repeatedly (while still glued to their seat) for the child to stop, yet not making it happen. That's their way of saving face.

 

I used to try. But it's so prevalent, there are certain places I just won't go anymore. I've got other things to do besides police other people's children and help them out because they can't seem to get off their rear ends and do it themselves. I honestly don't care what kind of monsters their kids turn into.

 

Having said that, I will interfere if an obnoxious one gets near my little one. I don't care to interact, though. I'm done. I just get the point across to back away, and once that's accomplished, we're fine.

 

For a place that I've paid a membership to, though, not something like a public park, I don't just leave. I'll go to the management and then they can deal with the parents who aren't parenting.

 

If it's someone I know (as in a large group), I'll go straight to the mother and tell her she needs to stay near her child to watch him. If she's not there, I'll go get her, as I've done in some of our homeschool group activities. I just say, "Your child is not behaving, so you need to stay with him for the rest of the time." I don't get into a conversation about it.

 

Honestly, I am so tired of this, I just don't care anymore if I'm blunt. It's the parents, IMNSHO, not the kids. Those kids are having to parent themselves, and for ones that have problems with self-control already, how can anyone expect anything different?

[Lizzie in Ma]

I use more discretion with my older dd but we always talk about stuff like that later as needed.

 

It also depends where I am.

 

In our church family everybody parents everyone else's kids as needed when there are misbehaviors to address.

 

Heck, just last week I was at the Feed and Grain store paying for my things and I told a grown man he was being incredibly rude to the sales girl and that I was surprised, at his age, that he didn't know any better.

 

Fearless. :D

[Kris]

I agree. I've found it's not safe to even interact with the type of people who will allow this socially unacceptable behavior in their children. The apple doesn't fall far from the tree.

 

This is so true. You never know what you're getting yourself into. It might be that the little girl only acts this way when Mom isn't looking -- and Mom would be horrified if she knew what was going on.

 

On the other hand, Mom might be just as bad -- or worse! -- and then you've got a tidy little confrontation on your hands.

 

I don't have a problem with kids misbehaving, it's when the parent just sits and watches and sits and sits....or worse yet, calls out, repeatedly (while still glued to their seat) for the child to stop, yet not making it happen. That's their way of saving face.

At this point, it's a toss up as to whether it's the child or the parent that is more annoying. :glare:

 

I used to try. But it's so prevalent, there are certain places I just won't go anymore. I've got other things to do besides police other people's children and help them out because they can't seem to get off their rear ends and do it themselves. I honestly don't care what kind of monsters their kids turn into.

Well, I actually do care -- but for me it's a matter of picking my battles. I sincerely doubt anything I would have to say would change the situation the least little bit. The attitude didn't develop in the last five minutes, and it isn't going to disappear simply because I expressed an opinion.

 

Having said that, I will interfere if an obnoxious one gets near my little one. I don't care to interact, though. I'm done. I just get the point across to back away, and once that's accomplished, we're fine.

Oh definitely! Fortunately, those days are pretty much behind me, but if my son was involved, then I was, too -- with a reaction that was, hopefully, appropriate for the offense -- but not always. :D

 

Honestly, I am so tired of this, I just don't care anymore if I'm blunt. It's the parents, IMNSHO, not the kids. Those kids are having to parent themselves, and for ones that have problems with self-control already, how can anyone expect anything different?

When I was a kid, when we had family friends visiting, everyone seemed to look out for everyones children -- not only with behavior issues, but just keeping them out of harm's way, too . There was definitely a mix of parenting styles, but everyone seemed to get along and while we were all together, we were pretty much one big family and the children were expected to respect and obey the other adults in the group. It doesn't seem to be that way anymore. You are more likely to get a response of "You aren't the boss of me!" than a contrite apology from a misbehaving youngster.

[Christine]

I have to say that I generally don't talk to others' kids unless they are "infringing" on others or their safety.

 

I don't take kindly to other parents talking to my kids either -- I'd rather them talk to me, and let me take care of my own. Of course, this is fairly easy, as my kids aren't just running helter / skelter without being supervised until I am quite sure they know how to behave.

 

Now, there has been occassion where I have left my kids in care of others, and I'm perfectly okay with them (the parents) correcting in that situation. But even then, the parents I leave them with tend to be on the same sheet of music as I.

 

I have the "opportunity" to be around many "parentless" kids in the summer, at our pool. Of course, their parents come out sooner or later. . .Sadly, I don't believe that talking to those children will do any good based on the manner in which I see their parents behave / talk. Thankfully, our pool instituted a no cursing policy, and they will also kick out kids who are getting too rowdy. . .

[gardenschooler]

 

Well, I actually do care -- but for me it's a matter of picking my battles. I sincerely doubt anything I would have to say would change the situation the least little bit. The attitude didn't develop in the last five minutes, and it isn't going to disappear simply because I expressed an opinion.

 

I care to the point that I don't really want more ill-mannered people running amok in the world, and I do care if it's just a mom who is overwhelmed and having a bad day. I don't judge people who are actually trying, or seem to be putting in some effort to parent their children, no matter how unruly the kids in question appear to be. It's the ones that do nothing that bug me.

 

When I was a kid, when we had family friends visiting, everyone seemed to look out for everyones children -- not only with behavior issues, but just keeping them out of harm's way, too .

 

I think that still happens. I'm happy to keep a friend's child out of harm's way, or give them some direction if need be. I was answering more along the lines or strangers and even aquaintances that I'm not especially chummy with.

 

I do have to say that everyone who answered this thread seems to have so much more patience than I do. I'm just burned out on the whole thing.

[Scarlett]

I will to protect my child--both from physical harm and if someone is being mean to him. I think it is important for our kids to know we will stand up for them.

[homeschoolmom]

 

Honestly, I am so tired of this, I just don't care anymore if I'm blunt. It's the parents, IMNSHO, not the kids. Those kids are having to parent themselves, and for ones that have problems with self-control already, how can anyone expect anything different?

 

 

Yup, yup, yup. I totally agree.

[Marie in Oh]

I agree. I've found it's not safe to even interact with the type of people who will allow this socially unacceptable behavior in their children. The apple doesn't fall far from the tree. I don't have a problem with kids misbehaving, it's when the parent just sits and watches and sits and sits....or worse yet, calls out, repeatedly (while still glued to their seat) for the child to stop, yet not making it happen. That's their way of saving face.

 

I used to try. But it's so prevalent, there are certain places I just won't go anymore. I've got other things to do besides police other people's children and help them out because they can't seem to get off their rear ends and do it themselves. I honestly don't care what kind of monsters their kids turn into.

 

Having said that, I will interfere if an obnoxious one gets near my little one. I don't care to interact, though. I'm done. I just get the point across to back away, and once that's accomplished, we're fine.

 

For a place that I've paid a membership to, though, not something like a public park, I don't just leave. I'll go to the management and then they can deal with the parents who aren't parenting.

 

If it's someone I know (as in a large group), I'll go straight to the mother and tell her she needs to stay near her child to watch him. If she's not there, I'll go get her, as I've done in some of our homeschool group activities. I just say, "Your child is not behaving, so you need to stay with him for the rest of the time." I don't get into a conversation about it.

 

Honestly, I am so tired of this, I just don't care anymore if I'm blunt. It's the parents, IMNSHO, not the kids. Those kids are having to parent themselves, and for ones that have problems with self-control already, how can anyone expect anything different?

 

This is pretty much how I feel about it too. I hate going to the pool and dealing with all the unruly kids. I hast going to a museum and being around all the rude kids there that have zero manners. I agree that many here have much more patience than I do. I say stuff because it isn't their fault and they aren't being parented. It might be the only instruction they will get on the matter. These aren't just behavior preferences either. It is common manners and thinking others that I so rarely see when I am at a public place. It really baffles me. This post really sums it up.

[ChristusG]

I will to protect my child--both from physical harm and if someone is being mean to him. I think it is important for our kids to know we will stand up for them.

 

Same here too. I'm a pretty shy person, and I'd be afraid that parent who is not parenting would go off on me or something.....however, dont mess with my kids because then I will talk to the child who is doing it.

[homeschoolmom]

You know, thinking back to room mom days, there have been several times that I have corrected a child's behavior and after that their behavior does improve - not just what I corrected but just a general overall improvement. All I did was state such-and-such was not acceptable in a calm voice and move on.

 

That is the other reason why I blame the parents. The kids, more often than not, will behave themselves if they are told they are expected to behave and what the parameters are. In fact, poor things, at least the younger ones, WANT you to provide that structure.

 

Some kids sure, are challenges and they don't listen for beans. Makes you wonder though - how did they become like that?

 

OK now I sound like a Sears disciple (loving limits and all that). ;)

 

It is HARD. Some days are better than others and my child is no angel but we definitely have rules here and we're not shy about setting the bar high.

[battlemaiden]

Just yesterday as a matter of fact. A little boy was racing up and down the sidewalk on his bike and yelling for the little kids (the toddlers) to "get out of the way." I stopped his bike and explained that the older kids always have to look out for the little kids- "that's the rule" I said. ;) He said okay and took off.

 

I'm old school.

 

Jo

[Karenciavo]

Depends on the situation. I spoke to a kid today while cherry picking, he was jumping up, grabbing branches, breaking them off, and then picking the cherries. :smash:

[classicteacher]

the answer would be yes. However, it truly depends upon the situation.

[Kris]

I care to the point that I don't really want more ill-mannered people running amok in the world, and I do care if it's just a mom who is overwhelmed and having a bad day. I don't judge people who are actually trying, or seem to be putting in some effort to parent their children, no matter how unruly the kids in question appear to be. It's the ones that do nothing that bug me.

 

Yes -- I care that the kids that aren't being taught manners now are the adults who will have kids running amok later. I care in a generally societal sort of way.

 

I also care in a personal way about friends' kids. But what I feel about their behavior is really irrelevant. If I'm with them one or two hours a week, it really doesn't make any difference what I say or do. The only impact I can have is over my own behavior -- and I find I just don't visit much if it's that bad. And sometimes it is just that bad. :)

 

I think that still happens. I'm happy to keep a friend's child out of harm's way, or give them some direction if need be. I was answering more along the lines or strangers and even aquaintances that I'm not especially chummy with.

 

I don't see it so much in the gatherings I do attend. If you're talking true danger then, yes, I think anyone I know would step in. But when it comes to poorly behaved kids, everyone seems to just make a concerted effort to ignore the chaos. I really don't see people instructing other's kids in basic manners.

 

Now, when we're at *my* house, it's a different situation. I won't tolerate it. This is my castle, such as it is. And I make my voice heard. I don't usually get much of a response from Mom or Dad -- the ones who are sitting there making the appropriate mouth noises and not doing anything.

 

I just want to emphasize that I'm don't ignore kids in trouble -- real trouble or danger -- whether they're strangers or not. But I just don't think it's my place to teach basic manners and civil behavior to someone else's kids.

[MyThreeSons]

I speak up if it's a matter of safety, either for the child or others. If I hear foul language that offends me personally, I speak up. I don't usually step in when I hear a child being a jerk, even if it's to my own child.

 

I speak to my friends' children if they're doing or saying something I know their parents would correct if they were around, and my friends do the same for me.

[OhM]

I do - but not often - I have the same guidelines that most others have mentioned here - especially safety.

 

In one case the reason was just plain annoyance - I was cleaning windows in the 2nd story of our house, where I could see the front sidewalk. Three teens walked by, encountered dd's bike, and just pushed it over, out of their way. I had to choke back real anger in order to calmly call out the window, "Hey guys, I think you knocked that over - could you pick it back up, please?" They looked up and all around, mumbled, "Sorry", and put the bike back on the kickstand. They were still trying to locate me without being noticeable about it while they walked away. Just wish I had had a deep "voice of God" to call out to them!:D

[sandellie4]

I don't tend to say anything to the other child. I have found, the hard way, that child bullies often have bullying, or at least confrontational, parents. I once spoke to a child, a young one, who had picked up a cigarette butt off the ground and was walking around the playground "smoking" it (it wasn't lit). I told him to give it to me and, though he was mouthing off to me, he did hand it over. Then he ran to tell his mother, who came over yelling at me -- from across the playground -- to stay the blank-blank away from her kid, etc., etc. It occurred to me that it hadn't been such a smart move on my part to speak to the child in the first place.

 

Sandy