If you wear perfume to church...

[mamakimberly]

I'm not going to go head to head with people.

 

Yeah, I've never told anyone in person that they reek.

 

Thought it? Yes. Said it? No.

 

Well, I've told my sister not to wear perfume when I'm around her because she's my sister. She still does, of course, because that's how she rolls. She just puts on like half as much.

[Ellie]

right?

 

 

one does get tired of all the dramatic proclamations from the allergic about their highly sensitive this and thats.

 

We have allergies too. We deal. We dont assume others should cater to our needs every where we go or that if they dont they are being horrible.

I sort of felt this way, too, until we had to call 911 when a dear friend reacted to a man's cologne during choir practice. She was down on the floor within seconds of his walking in the door--asthma attack.

[mommaduck]

And sometimes it's not the perfume, but the scented laundry detergent. We got some hand-me-downs from people that use scented detergent and I know it took 15 or 20 washes to get the smell out.

 

Rene

Oh yes! But to be honest, my family breaks out from the stuff washed in anything "free & clear" (especially ALL).

[mommaduck]

Yeah, I've never told anyone in person that they reek.

 

Thought it? Yes. Said it? No.

 

Well, I've told my sister not to wear perfume when I'm around her because she's my sister. She still does, of course, because that's how she rolls. She just puts on like half as much.

I was always careful around my mother also. I couldn't even light a scented candle before my mother came over. She's extremely sensitive. But with a relative, you can broach the subject easier than with a stranger :)

[PrairieSong]

I think there is a big difference in being forced to sit next to someone for 1.5 hours and getting a whiff as you walk by in Target.

 

 

 

Seriously? My kids should have to wear surgical masks in church?

 

I have to say that this has been an eye-opening thread. I stand by my original post, though--there is no excuse for wearing strong perfume in church. If you are doing so knowing that it bothers other people, that is rude and inconsiderate, and you deserve to be called on it; if you are doing it out of ignorance, well, now you know.

 

Terri

 

Yes, we now know you are allergic, but us not wearing it to our churches/other places won't help you at all. You should talk to your own pastor and others you know to raise awareness in your circles.

[mamakimberly]

I would agree that it is cultural... Like the way I have to hold my breath in a lot of places we go here because the B.O. is so strong it makes me gag. My flight from Indonesia was the most miserable experience ever. I'll take perfume over BO any day of the week.

 

Yeah, I was in a convocation at a university in HK in August. 10,000 people in a small room, standing room only. I may have been the only one wearing deodorant!

 

The BO thing in tropical areas is vicious! But the solution is probably antiperspirant and deodorant, not perfume!

[Heather in Neverland]

 

I have to say that this has been an eye-opening thread. I stand by my original post, though--there is no excuse for wearing strong perfume in church. If you are doing so knowing that it bothers other people, that is rude and inconsiderate, and you deserve to be called on it; if you are doing it out of ignorance, well, now you know.

 

Terri

 

And if this is how you handle the situation ... By being rude to those who may not even realize it is a problem... Then you deserve to be called rude and have your requests ignored.

 

I prefer to handle things in a more civilized manner. YMMV

[curlylocks]

Yes, we now know you are allergic, but us not wearing it to our churches/other places won't help you at all. You should talk to your own pastor and others you know to raise awareness in your circles.

 

:iagree:

[Guest submarines]

 

STOP IT. There is no excuse, absolutely none, for imposing your scent on fellow church-goers. My family and I moved seats THREE times, which means we sat in four different spots, on Easter morning. I was so peeved after we'd been chased out of the third spot that I could not focus on the sermon. I just sat there pondering whether the ladies who reeked of perfume were selfish or just thoughtless.

 

On a typical Sunday morning, we sit in the less-populated balcony solely to avoid perfume, as most perfume makes two of my children sneeze and sniffle so much that they have to leave the service. When one of my daughters was younger, the perfume also could trigger her asthma. With the extra crowd at Easter, more people sat near us, and we ended up playing musical pews to avoid their perfumes.

 

You know what? If you don't reek of body odor, NO ONE CARES how you smell, especially the people sitting behind you in church.

 

Vent over.

 

Terri

 

 

 

:iagree::iagree::iagree:

Edited April 9, 2012 by sunflowers

[Tammyla]

I'm sorry you had such a difficult time, but expecting the world to give up perfumes, deo, soap etc. isn't very reasonable.

[besroma]

I would agree that it is cultural... Like the way I have to hold my breath in a lot of places we go here because the B.O. is so strong it makes me gag.

 

I'll take perfume over BO any day of the week.

 

:iagree: I am sensitive to perfume and cologne and wish people didn't wear so much. But, it doesn't make me gag like BO.

 

I was once in a very sloooow moving checkout line when a man kept scooting up right.behind.me. His proximity to me made me very uncomfortable. But, the worst part was that his BO was so strong, I almost gagged several times. The only way I made it through the experience was grabbing a bar of scented soap and inhaling it as we went through the line.:tongue_smilie:

 

He was a business professional dressed in a suit and tie. When I described the situation to my husband, he explained it was a cultural difference. I had no idea until then.

[susankenny]

I wear a little. No, I won't stop. Especially if asked to do so in the manner of your request.

 

 

Susan

[ssavings]

My son and DH both have allergies that tend to flare-up due to the proximity to people in church. The pastor in our church allows them to set up chairs in the entryway just outside the enterence to the church. They can still hear everything going on, but they are far enough away to not be impacted by various things on people's clothings.

 

I'm not sure if it's a fire hazard, but it works for us for now...

[tristangrace]

So next time, I should ask the offenders to leave the service and wash up? Should I hand out wipes? Unscented soap and warm wash cloths? Just wondering what you think the appropriate "direct" response should be. Should we have just stayed there and sneezed and sniffled through the service, possibly whipped out an inhaler when necessary? I certainly don't want to offend anyone whose scent has polluted my air space, so please let me know what I should have done.

 

Terri

 

 

You raised a real issue on the thread, but by the time I got to this post, any original motivation to help you brainstorm appropriate responses has evaporated. If you're content with a passive-aggressive approach IRL and scolding and sarcasm online, you're on your own.

[gardening momma]

But the one scent that gives me an instant headache every time is Sure deodorant. I didn't think they made that anymore but one day at Chick-fil-a a couple sat in the booth next to ours and I got a whiff of Sure and sure enough (pun intended :D) I got a headache that lasted for several hours. Not sure (ok, ha ha) what it is about Sure that does it to me. Must be a particular ingredient in the fragrance.

My husband wears Sure because it is the only deodorant/antiperspirant that doesn't make him itch.

 

Wow. I guess this is a consequence of the internet. Instead of dealing with the people who actually did something that bothered you, some segment of people in a totally different environment are yelled at, and then yelled at again for not obeying the requests of someone they don't know and probably will never meet.

A consequence of the internet is that people read the wrong tone into someone's post and get their panties in a bunch because of it.

 

and I found the OP's wording to be a humor-laced vent at a common issue that most people are aware of.

:iagree:

[SpecialClassical]

I have admit that, every time we moved on Sunday, I said "perfume" louder as I instructed the family to collect their things and move. I like to think that people would want to know that their perfume is causing us discomfort, but you're probably right--they don't want to know.

 

Terri

 

I grew up with a parent like this. It was so embarrassing when this person would get offended about something. If you like to think people would want to know, you should think about HOW they would like to know. Shaming fellow church goers with veiled comments to your family as you leave isn't a respectful way to handle the problem. If you want themt to be repectful of your issue, be respectful of their feelings.

[emubird]

Well my momma always said you get more flies with honey than you do with vinegar.

 

 

 

Probably not though. A nice post would have been lost. An over the top post got a lot of angry comments and kept the topic up in the public eye here for a lot longer.

 

And while mentioning the problem on this board may not help with the OP's situation, this has turned into a public service announcement.

 

Anyway, I didn't see the original post as being over the top. It was meant to be humorous (I thought).

 

Also, those who think one can just take allergy drugs or "deal with it" probably need a bit of education. Allergy/asthma drugs can only do so much for those who have severe problems.

[Parrothead]

Probably not though. A nice post would have been lost. An over the top post got a lot of angry comments and kept the topic up in the public eye here for a lot longer.

 

And while mentioning the problem on this board may not help with the OP's situation, this has turned into a public service announcement.

 

Anyway, I didn't see the original post as being over the top. It was meant to be humorous (I thought).

 

Also, those who think one can just take allergy drugs or "deal with it" probably need a bit of education. Allergy/asthma drugs can only do so much for those who have severe problems.

Actually there have been several threads about this same topic in the past. I know of at least one that went to 10+ pages. So there really was no need for an over the top post. A gentle reminder would have sufficed.

[aggieamy]

I have admit that, every time we moved on Sunday, I said "perfume" louder as I instructed the family to collect their things and move. I like to think that people would want to know that their perfume is causing us discomfort, but you're probably right--they don't want to know.

 

Terri

 

I'm sure this is exactly how Jesus would have handled it. He was a big fan of shaming little old ladies and teenage girls that wore too much perfume to church. :glare:

[mommaduck]

I grew up with a parent like this. It was so embarrassing when this person would get offended about something. If you like to think people would want to know, you should think about HOW they would like to know. Shaming fellow church goers with veiled comments to your family as you leave isn't a respectful way to handle the problem. If you want themt to be repectful of your issue, be respectful of their feelings.

I grew up with a parent like this also. Very openly passive aggressive.

[Butter]

I often wear one spritz of a citrus-scented body spray. It would never occur to me to not wear cologne because of someone else's allergies. Church wouldn't be the only place this might be an issue. Someone mentioned being bothered in a store and getting a headache. Are we expected to not wear cologne, scented deodorant, etc., whenever we go into a public place?

 

A little bit is no big deal for most people (and, truly, if it is then maybe the allergic person needs to do something like a surgical mask). It's the people who practically bathe in it that is the problem. I think perhaps some people don't realize how much perfume they are wearing because they get used to it and just don't smell it themselves anymore.

[merry gardens]

The people I know irl who complain about perfume in Church, also complain about other Church smells that are part of our worship, like Easter lilies and incense. Just as some scent-sensitive people find some smell bring out negative reactions, some scent sensitive people (like me) find certain smells enhance our worship experience and bring us joy. I love Easter lilies and incense! And...I like some perfumes too.

 

Instead of asking people not to wear perfume and body scents, please ask them to wear it properly. There are "rules" to wearing perfumes. Perfumes shouldn't be that noticible to other people--and if they are, the problem isn't with the scent, it's with the application.

[Mergath]

 

Fluorescent lighting gives me migraines. Should I stomp into every store, church, school or public facility of any kind that has fluorescent lighting and rant and rave and accuse them of being insensitive to my migraines? No. Fluorescent lighting is common. I am the one with the problem so I cope with it or I don't go to those places.

 

 

:iagree: Fluorescent lights trigger seizures for me. I certainly don't demand that stores and other public buildings no longer use them.

[Aelwydd]

Any strong smells can trigger intense migraines for me. Perfumes, colognes, strong BO.

 

One of the worst is tobacco smoke, especially the stuff that clings to clothes. That stuff not only induces head aches, but coughing for me.

 

I don't get why going to church for some people equates slathering themselves with artificial aromatics, or how this is desirable. I'm not talking about lightly applied stuff. I'm talking about hey-I'm-standing-15-feet-away-and-I-can-still-smell-your-perfume type application.

 

Nevertheless, the way I've always handled it is to leave the room and get fresh air at certain intervals. If someone asks, I tell them point blank, strong smells bother me. It's not an accusatory thing. It's my own particular sensitivity, so I deal.

 

If it was as bad as the OP's situation, I would probably either switch churches, or just not go anymore. It's not particularly edifying for me if I'm always sick, and/or the experience is evoking such anger and disgust that I can't focus on anything else.

 

BTW, having an aversion to such strong smells is particularly challenging when you go to liturgical churches like me, where they use incense. :tongue_smilie:

[TN Mama]

I can't stand it either. At the Tulsa mall, there is one store that must have some sort of scent spraying all the time. It is so strong, I have to cross over to the other side of the huge walkway (in front of the store) to walk by and then I still have to put my shirt over my nose. It is really obnoxious.

 

 

 

:iagree: And I can't go in/near a Yankee Candle shop. I don't have a problem burning their candles in my home, I just cannot go in or by the store where ALL of the overwhelming scents live.

 

Over the years I've become really sensitive to smells. I can (and do) wear only one scent and very lightly.

[TN Mama]

So next time, I should ask the offenders to leave the service and wash up? Should I hand out wipes? Unscented soap and warm wash cloths? Just wondering what you think the appropriate "direct" response should be. Should we have just stayed there and sneezed and sniffled through the service, possibly whipped out an inhaler when necessary? I certainly don't want to offend anyone whose scent has polluted my air space, so please let me know what I should have done.

 

Terri

 

I think the suggestion was (more than once) to calmly speak to church leadership about a scent free zone.

 

Put me down as another who would not be sympathetic to a passive-agressive fit being thrown during a church service. No one suggested you not move. By all means, do what is best for your family. I would do the same if I needed. But there is just no need to be ugly about it. I do understand being sensitive to smells. Really, I do.

[chepyl]

I don't think the way you handled It was appropriate. Just get up and move, then contact the chirch amd request a scent free zone. Do it nicely though. Many places are very accomodating for people with food allergies. Maybe your church leadership has no idea this is an issue.

 

It is like people who pass a smoker outside and cough loudly as they go by. I do not like it when smokers stand to close to a building entrance, but I hold my breath and walk quickly if I have to pass one. If they blew ot in my face purposely, I would say something. But the people in your church are not doing it to you on purpose.

 

Ask, maybe your church will make the balcony scent free.

[Denise in Florida]

I do think though, that sitting in church you might want to be less judgemental. Give people the benefit of the doubt. I really don't think they put on perfume thinking it would hurt someone.

 

I'm not sure I agree. (hmmm??) Yes, I like to give people the benefit of the doubt and I would not want to embarass anyone but... Really... this is not new news.

 

Anyone paying attention knows that perfumes cause many problems. I have had teacher, ministers, group leaders explain over and over that it is a health hazard for some. We are not talking personal taste but actual health hazard. It is not a surprise...I don't buy the 'I didn't know' excuse unless the wearer is over 70.

 

There are folks who just will not listen. These are the same folks that deny food allergies and won't pay attention to cross contamination.

 

I have not attended Easter services in years. My problem is not the perfume but the lillies. To me (I know this is not everyone) they have a fetid stench and they cause migraines. Fortunately this is usually limited to Easter and funerals. :lol: eta: oops, not laughing at funerals, I just remembered sending my children in to the funeral services first to check for lillies before I would go, sometimes I just signed the guest book and ran.

[chepyl]

I'm not sure I agree. (hmmm??) Yes, I like to give people the benefit of the doubt and I would not want to embarass anyone but... Really... this is not new news.

 

Anyone paying attention knows that perfumes cause many problems. I have had teacher, ministers, group leaders explain over and over that it is a health hazard for some. We are not talking personal taste but actual health hazard. It is not a surprise...I don't buy the 'I didn't know' excuse unless the wearer is over 70.

 

There are folks who just will not listen. These are the same folks that deny food allergies and won't pay attention to cross contamination.

 

I have not attended Easter services in years. My problem is not the perfume but the lillies. To me (I know this is not everyone) they have a fetid stench and they cause migraines. Fortunately this is usually limited to Easter and funerals. :lol: eta: oops, not laughing at funerals, I just remembered sending my children in to the funeral services first to check for lillies before I would go, sometimes I just signed the guest book and ran.

 

My best friend has a daughter with allergies to scents and my cousin has a son with peanut allergies. When I cook for a meal/party my cousin attends, I watch for products with nuts. When I visit my friend, I don't spray my body splash.

 

But I don't live with allergies daily, I don't always think about it. If someone tells me about an allergy, I will be conscious of it. But, I do carry peanut butter crackers as snacks for my kids. We eat pbj and then go out in public. Maybe the people know it is possible, but don't know it actually affects someone in the church. If the church leadership jas never been notifoed of the problem, they cannot tell the congregation. Most people do not change their day to day habits because someone might be allergic, but are happy to if they know there is someone with a severe allergy.

[ktgrok]

I'm not sure I agree. (hmmm??) Yes, I like to give people the benefit of the doubt and I would not want to embarass anyone but... Really... this is not new news.

 

Anyone paying attention knows that perfumes cause many problems. I have had teacher, ministers, group leaders explain over and over that it is a health hazard for some. We are not talking personal taste but actual health hazard. It is not a surprise...I don't buy the 'I didn't know' excuse unless the wearer is over 70.

 

There are folks who just will not listen. These are the same folks that deny food allergies and won't pay attention to cross contamination.

 

I have not attended Easter services in years. My problem is not the perfume but the lillies. To me (I know this is not everyone) they have a fetid stench and they cause migraines. Fortunately this is usually limited to Easter and funerals. :lol: eta: oops, not laughing at funerals, I just remembered sending my children in to the funeral services first to check for lillies before I would go, sometimes I just signed the guest book and ran.

 

First, there are many older people in church, many of whom have not heard of this. Secondly, they have lost much of their sense of smell and may not realize how much they put on. Third, although I've known ONE person in my whole life that was sensitive to heavy perfume, she wasn't sensitive to all perfumes or light scent, so no, I didn't realize that putting on perfume before going to church was a problem. I wear it lightly if I wear it, or I wear Bath and Body Works scented lotion. I have a feeling even that would be offensive to the OP.

 

Finally, Church is the last place one should be acting judgemental and throwing a passive agressive fit. What was the point??? To make them feel bad? Why on EARTH would she want to make someone feel badly or embarrassed while at church? Why not just say "I'm sorry....strong scents make me ill, and I'm not the only one. Your perfume is lovely, but it does make me ill...could you perhaps leave it off next week?" Or better yet, ask the pastor to make an announcement or put it in the bulletin?

[Oak Knoll Mom]

It's kind of like 2nd hand cigarette smoke huh? There is no escaping it...even in the non-smoking section.

 

I got a terrible headache on Palm Sunday because someone sitting behind me at church smelled strongly of cigarettes. I kept thinking that I would just get used to the smell and could deal with it, but instead I felt worse and worse as the service went on.

Edited April 9, 2012 by Oak Knoll Mom

[sparrow]

I truly feel bad for the sensitivity your family has to scents. My son is like previous posters that have a high sensitivity to fluorescent lighting. He has a physical reaction and breaks out in hives. Fluorescent lighting is everywhere now, so I understand your frustration! However, I also feel badly for the churchgoers, who I sense did not come to church to specifically cause an allergic reaction in your children. I'm sure they heard you loudly saying "perfume", but at that point, what could they do? That may very well have made it hard for them to concentrate on the sermon.

 

Perhaps this is a time when an approach with grace would have been best.

 

Oxford Advanced Learner's Dictionary:

 

grace noun: 2 [uncountable] a quality of behaviour that is polite and pleasant and deserves respect

Please approach your church about the scent free zone. It sounds like an excellent solution.

[Sk8ermaiden]

I'm sure this is exactly how Jesus would have handled it. He was a big fan of shaming little old ladies and teenage girls that wore too much perfume to church. :glare:

 

So I agree with this.

 

But also think the same thought applies to people who heard stories of children's eyes swelling shut, 911 having to be called for people whose throats were closing, 2-day migranes and essentially said, "Forget you. I don't like your delivery so I'm going to keep doing things that cause others harm." Jesus would totally have endorsed that. That's just his style.

 

My jaw just dropped when I read one particular response. This thread is giving me tremendous insight into how "Christians" act. Wowza. Forget turning the other cheek, we should escalate instead.

 

And I am NOT sensitive to scents.

[SKL]

I live with someone like this. I've mentioned it nicely a few times, but it seems to go in one ear and out the other.

 

I don't wear perfume and I dislike it. However, I would not have grumbled about it in church. If I had to move that many times, I would assume it was my hypersensitivity and go someplace where there were no people.

 

Interestingly, I got cussed at long and loud on Easter morning over having the audacity to park on the street (in a perfectly normal and legal manner, across the street from the full church parking lot). Must be the full moon or something.

[4everHis]

When I'm being yelled at for it. Sure. I wouldn't expect anyone to take me seriously when I'm ranting and raving.

 

and giving orders to adults who are not even in your sphere. . . sorry OP, my first thought was 'dang, who are you giving me orders?' You didn't raise a question or kindly request, you gave an order.

[4everHis]

I'm not sure I agree. (hmmm??) Yes, I like to give people the benefit of the doubt and I would not want to embarass anyone but... Really... this is not new news.

 

Anyone paying attention knows that perfumes cause many problems. I have had teacher, ministers, group leaders explain over and over that it is a health hazard for some. We are not talking personal taste but actual health hazard. It is not a surprise...I don't buy the 'I didn't know' excuse unless the wearer is over 70.

 

There are folks who just will not listen. These are the same folks that deny food allergies and won't pay attention to cross contamination.

 

I have not attended Easter services in years. My problem is not the perfume but the lillies. To me (I know this is not everyone) they have a fetid stench and they cause migraines. Fortunately this is usually limited to Easter and funerals. :lol: eta: oops, not laughing at funerals, I just remembered sending my children in to the funeral services first to check for lillies before I would go, sometimes I just signed the guest book and ran.

 

But it is. . . news to me. I've known people who just don't like to be around perfume, including my dh, but I never realized it was a life or death problem. Where would I have gotten that information unless someone I knew had that allergy? No one I know does or they have not mentioned it if they do. And I am under 50.

[JeneralMom]

I am extremely sensitive to scents. Not only do I sniffle, sneeze, snort, and get a brutal headache, but I have had asthma attacks. However, I am lucky in that it only occurs when someone has alot of scent on or they have mixed scents. Usually I can just move away, but the worst experience of my life was being trapped on a plane from San Francisco to Sydney with a woman about 10 rows behind me doused in the most vile perfume I have ever smelled. I knew getting on the plane that it would be bad because I could smell her in line. Trapped in an airplane with recycled air for 15 hours, having a blinding sinus headache that even allergy pills wouldn't help, and then having an asthma attack to boot was hell-on-earth. DH was so worried. Then, I spent the next 5 days in Australia suffering the after-effects - red and cracking nose, sounded like Donald Duck after a bender, etc.

 

I do believe in the individual's right to wear scent but please reconsider in a situation where you will be trapped with people who might be allergic - public transport, the theatre, etc.

[mommy5]

I have the same issue in many public places ... it can trigger asthma or sinus issues. I can't stand it and wish people would stop wearing so much.

[Guest submarines]

and giving orders to adults who are not even in your sphere. . . sorry OP, my first thought was 'dang, who are you giving me orders?' You didn't raise a question or kindly request, you gave an order.

 

I didn't perceive the OP as yelling or giving orders. It semed to me to be an emotional appeal / vent. Maybe I'm not as sensitive to all caps.

[ZooRho]

The men are just as bad with theirs, I can't stand it.

It is spray and walk through people, you don't bathe in the stuff!!

 

So you met my son :tongue_smilie:

 

 

I can't deal with strong chemical smells. it just about does me in.

[aggieamy]

But it is. . . news to me. I've known people who just don't like to be around perfume, including my dh, but I never realized it was a life or death problem. Where would I have gotten that information unless someone I knew had that allergy? No one I know does or they have not mentioned it if they do. And I am under 50.

 

I think this is a big part of the problem because I've never heard of perfume allergies before and I just turned 30 this year. I wear Bath and Body works lotion and never thought that it even really had much scent until I went to visit some old coworkers and someone came over and said that they knew I was here because they smelled my lotion. I've never heard of anyone complaining that they were getting sick over it and knowing the people I used to work with they would have complained. It's near impossible to change other people's behavior but I think some good suggestions on talking to the pastor about a non-scent zone is good. I still think that passive aggressiveness towards people at church is still tacky and uncalled for.

[shinyhappypeople]

So next time, I should ask the offenders to leave the service and wash up? Should I hand out wipes? Unscented soap and warm wash cloths? Just wondering what you think the appropriate "direct" response should be. Should we have just stayed there and sneezed and sniffled through the service, possibly whipped out an inhaler when necessary? I certainly don't want to offend anyone whose scent has polluted my air space, so please let me know what I should have done.

 

Terri

 

You should have politely asked an usher for help. That's what they're there for. Then, today, you should call the church office and find out who to speak to about a "scent-free" zone.

 

But it is. . . news to me. I've known people who just don't like to be around perfume, including my dh, but I never realized it was a life or death problem. Where would I have gotten that information unless someone I knew had that allergy? No one I know does or they have not mentioned it if they do. And I am under 50.

 

:iagree: I had no idea it could be life or death.

 

FWIW, I tend to shut down and tune out when someone yells at me, which is what happened in the OP. Like a PP said, you win more flies with honey.

 

For future reference, if your post had been worded something like: "I'm so frustrated! My kids have scent allergies and we had to move three times at church yesterday because people wore too much perfume. How would you handle this? I don't want to have to move around like this every week!" you would have received a lot of sympathy and suggestions.

[ZooRho]

I often wear one spritz of a citrus-scented body spray. It would never occur to me to not wear cologne because of someone else's allergies. Church wouldn't be the only place this might be an issue. Someone mentioned being bothered in a store and getting a headache. Are we expected to not wear cologne, scented deodorant, etc., whenever we go into a public place?

 

I think it is who you are around. I would hope that if you knew that someone close to you had an issue that you would not wear it when you were around them.

 

But the bigger issue as others are alluding to is the bathing of oneself in a scent or multiple scents. And trust me I have lived with one like that. My son puts so much on that it precedes him and lingers after he leaves. Literally the other day he left and it was still strong in the room he had WALKED through not where he put it on 15 mins later.

 

I also have problems now with fabric softeners although mostly that is when it is in use not if someone has used it and wearing clothes that were in a rinse with it.

 

So wear just enough that only those hugging you smell it.

[SonshineLearner]

This is how I felt with peanut butter sandwiches and my child playing around other children. You absolutely can't understand, unless you have a child who might die because of your convenient sandwich. And nope, I could care less about smell, compared to sneezing my head off. Now yes, take a shower... but just get clean :) And my husband continues to wear aftershave that makes me "after sneeze" ;) BUT, at least he doesn't wear it around me, if he knows we'll be in the same car. It took a long time before he realized that yes, he'll have to go and scrub it off. And no, he can't leave the restroom door open if he has open Irish Clean soap.... Nope... scents are a problem for me!! :(

[wintermom]

Most churches and performance centers (theatres, concert halls) as well as hospitals I've been to within the last few years have all had signs up in the bathrooms to kindly not use scent when coming. I think this is pretty standard practice to help inform people that a great many people are highly sensitive to the products.

 

I just had a thought though, our church used insense quite a bit during holy week. It's not normally used here. That was probably tough for a lot of people with sensitivities. My children noticed the smell and didn't like it, but they don't have allergies. I guess for these infrequent, special occassions those with allergies would have to be aware and sit at the back, near an open window, or avoid the service. I wish there was a way to accommodate everyone.

[Cinder]

My husband wears Sure because it is the only deodorant/antiperspirant that doesn't make him itch.

 

Actually I used to use Sure, too. It was back around 7th grade. Can't remember how long I used it, but I stopped when I realized it was the Sure that was giving me daily headaches.

[Laura Cook]

For future reference, if your post had been worded something like: "I'm so frustrated! My kids have scent allergies and we had to move three times at church yesterday because people wore too much perfume. How would you handle this? I don't want to have to move around like this every week!" you would have received a lot of sympathy and suggestions.

 

:iagree:

 

Until I began visiting this forum I had no clue that perfume or cologne could be life threatening for some people! I knew that people could be sensitive to it because all of the females in my family are, but that it could cause such a severe reaction? I never knew. I am thankful to know now. I don't wear perfume but if I did I would never want to hurt someone.

 

I think that nicely educating whomever is in charge at your church and looking for a way to educate the people who attend your church would be the best way to begin finding a solution. Good luck!

Edited April 9, 2012 by bzymama23

[Parrothead]

I didn't perceive the OP as yelling or giving orders. It semed to me to be an emotional appeal / vent. Maybe I'm not as sensitive to all caps.

From the board rules

Use Your Inside Voice

Posting a message in all caps is the cyber-equivalent of yelling please don't do it. It's rude. Really.

[Parrothead]

So I agree with this.

 

But also think the same thought applies to people who heard stories of children's eyes swelling shut, 911 having to be called for people whose throats were closing, 2-day migranes and essentially said, "Forget you. I don't like your delivery so I'm going to keep doing things that cause others harm." Jesus would totally have endorsed that. That's just his style.

 

My jaw just dropped when I read one particular response. This thread is giving me tremendous insight into how "Christians" act. Wowza. Forget turning the other cheek, we should escalate instead.

 

And I am NOT sensitive to scents.

I'll own up to it. And that is okay. On my grave stone it will say, "She wasn't a nice person."

[snickelfritz]

Most churches and performance centers (theatres, concert halls) as well as hospitals I've been to within the last few years have all had signs up in the bathrooms to kindly not use scent when coming. I think this is pretty standard practice to help inform people that a great many people are highly sensitive to the products.

 

.

 

This must be VERY regional, because I have never seen this at a church (we attend a large one), hospital (I've visited 2 different large ones in the last year), or performance hall (in the last year, we have been to two different large performance halls and two different small performance halls.). Basically, I have just never seen a sign referring to perfume. And I think it ISN'T something that most people think of before they put on their smelly stuff.

 

So, the best approach is to get the church leadership informed on the issue and get people aware and sympathetic to the problem. The way the OP acted, if anything, is likely to have people acting the opposite way she wants in response to her rudeness.