Are safety harnesses/leashes "illegal" in CA? (??????)

[tex-mex]

While helping a friend with her twin toddlers at a library storytime, my friend looked upset and nudged me. She pointed to 2 adorable twins who were wearing these matching monkey backpacks/harnesses.

 

I smiled and didn't say it out loud -- but thought they were cute backpacks. I looked at my friend quizzingly as to why she nudged me. She then whispered to me her outrage over the harnesses and how they were illegal in CA. I was like... :001_huh:.

 

In sincerity and wanting to know the truth, I could not find anything online to what she said was fact.

 

How does one best handle a statement like this?

 

I like helping my friend out. She has a lot on her hands with 2 very ACTIVE twin toddlers -- who in my opinion, are great but the mom seems intimidated with their outbursts/tantrums -- but that is none of my beeswax. I pretty much shut up and smile and try to help her out.

 

It is ironic tho' that my friend bugged out over what another mom chose to do to keep her kids safe. I cannot find fault with that either. But it sure does drive me up the wall when my friend gets easily offended by other friends who judge her with parenting (I stay out of it) -- and every time I go out to help her -- the issue with her is she points out other moms who in her opinion are not doing a good job. Yes, she is the pot calling the kettle black. Aiiiyyyeeee. :D And I am the schmuck who is trapped helping her with her twin dynamos (whom I think are delightful... but a handful of energy) as no one else wants to. She has very little support at home and few "mom" friends.

 

How do I handle a barb/zinger from her aimed at other moms? Her judgmental attitude at times can be too much to handle even in short doses of 1-2 hours a week. Eeek.

[5kidsforME]

While helping a friend with her twin toddlers at a library storytime, my friend looked upset and nudged me. She pointed to 2 adorable twins who were wearing these matching monkey backpacks/harnesses.

 

I smiled and didn't say it out loud -- but thought they were cute backpacks. I looked at my friend quizzingly as to why she nudged me. She then whispered to me her outrage over the harnesses and how they were illegal in CA. I was like... :001_huh:.

 

In sincerity and wanting to know the truth, I could not find anything online to what she said was fact.

 

How does one best handle a statement like this?

 

I like helping my friend out. She has a lot on her hands with 2 very ACTIVE twin toddlers -- who in my opinion, are great but the mom seems intimidated with their outbursts/tantrums -- but that is none of my beeswax. I pretty much shut up and smile and try to help her out.

 

It is ironic tho' that my friend bugged out over what another mom chose to do to keep her kids safe. I cannot find fault with that either. But it sure does drive me up the wall when my friend gets easily offended by other friends who judge her with parenting (I stay out of it) -- and every time I go out to help her -- the issue with her is she points out other moms who in her opinion are not doing a good job. Yes, she is the pot calling the kettle black. Aiiiyyyeeee. :D And I am the schmuck who is trapped helping her with her twin dynamos (whom I think are delightful... but a handful of energy) as no one else wants to. She has very little support at home and few "mom" friends.

 

How do I handle a barb/zinger from her aimed at other moms? Her judgmental attitude at times can be too much to handle even in short doses of 1-2 hours a week. Eeek.

 

 

I would just softly say, "I am sure she is doing the best she can." If she keeps it up follow with "We never know what others are going through."

 

It is ironic though.

[tex-mex]

I would just softly say, "I am sure she is doing the best she can." If she keeps it up follow with "We never know what others are going through."

 

It is ironic though.

:iagree:

 

I said something like that topic can be polarizing if brought up to other moms. Nicely. But quickly changed topics as both twins split in other directions and ended the conversation. ;)

 

I really love your comment on "We never know...". Will use that in the future. Thanks!

[fourcatmom]

I don't know if they are illegal or not. My step-daughter has used one with her 2.5 year old. At first, I really hated seeing him in it and wished she wouldn't use it but he is very fast and unpredictable. I think she uses in situations when she knows that he could potentially get hurt and it's not a daily thing for her.

[theYoungerMrsWarde]

Well, they sell those here in CA, so I don't think they're illegal. I've seen the cute monkey backpack on kids here, and they're very cute. I've used a kid harness with no problems or objections.

 

Please let your friend know that she is misinformed so that she doesn't spread the confusion.

[Spy Car]

News to me.

 

I doubt I've seen one employed more than twice, but I had never heard they were illegal.

 

Bill

[dangermom]

Well, they sell those here in CA, so I don't think they're illegal. I've seen the cute monkey backpack on kids here, and they're very cute. I've used a kid harness with no problems or objections.

 

Please let your friend know that she is misinformed so that she doesn't spread the confusion.

 

:iagree: I live in CA. I owned one when my kid was little, and I've seen them used. I can really see how twins would make them necessary--better judgmental neighbors than a car-squished child.

 

Besides, it's not so much a leash as a puppy costume!

Edited January 19, 2012 by dangermom

[dangermom]

Besides, even if child harnesses were illegal in CA, that wouldn't prove a thing--we love to pass crazy laws. Though actually I'm more inclined to think that legislators would make them mandatory while outside rather than banning them!

[tex-mex]

:iagree: I live in CA. I owned one when my kid was little, and I've seen them used. I can really see how twins would make them necessary--better judgmental neighbors than a car-squished child.

 

Besides, it's not so much a leash as a puppy costume!

Agreed.

 

I enjoy helping my friend. But it scares me to death that they can be very stong-willed and the mom scared of them -- it is now being an issue where if we are in a parking lot, one of them refuses to hold hands. And if you try to get them to understand from a gentle "OKay. Cars are big. You are little. The rule is we hold hands in a parking lot." The mom never backs me up. :confused: And it is a battle. I get stressed out.

[tex-mex]

News to me.

 

I doubt I've seen one employed more than twice, but I had never heard they were illegal.

 

Bill

Thanks Bill! I knew you would know. :)

[tex-mex]

I don't know if they are illegal or not. My step-daughter has used one with her 2.5 year old. At first, I really hated seeing him in it and wished she wouldn't use it but he is very fast and unpredictable. I think she uses in situations when she knows that he could potentially get hurt and it's not a daily thing for her.

 

This is the issue with the toddlers of my friend. Add strong-willed (bright/gifted) personalities into the mix. And how it takes 2 adults to corral them in public places. Eeep. :confused:

[Daisy]

Live in California and used one on my daughter when she was 18 months or so. She never liked being confined so she had walked beside me from the time she was a year old. She'd just hold my hand. That was all fine and good until I had her brother. Then one day she dashed off at a dead run across the store (she'd NEVER done that before) and I was paralyzed in indecision. Do I run after her and leave the newborn in the buggy? Do I yell for help? It was terrible. From that point on I gave her the choice of being in the stroller/buggy or walking with a harness. She loved that harness.

 

I don't have a problem with them. I frankly don't see the difference between a harness and strapping your kid down in a stroller. At least with a harness they are allowed some freedom of movement.

[Julie in CA]

Besides, even if child harnesses were illegal in CA, that wouldn't prove a thing--we love to pass crazy laws.

Yes. Care to dine in public in the nude? No problem, just lay a towel on the chair before you sit. :blink: :glare:

Edited January 19, 2012 by Julie in CA

[EKS]

Anyone who has needed to put a leash on a toddler does not wonder why anyone would ever do it.

 

We did it to keep our son from killing himself before he turned three. We didn't do it all the time, but there were certain circumstances that required it.

 

And we were in California at the time and never heard it was illegal.

[dangermom]

Yes. Care to dine in public in the nude? No problem, just lay a towel on the chair before you sit. :blink: :glare:

 

 

:lol::lol: Oh Julie, you are bringing up memories for me!!

[Unicorn.]

:iagree:

 

I said something like that topic can be polarizing if brought up to other moms. Nicely. But quickly changed topics as both twins split in other directions and ended the conversation. ;)I really love your comment on "We never know...". Will use that in the future. Thanks!

 

And that is why the other mom has cute little monkey harness/backpacks. I would point that out.

[*Inna*]

Um. I live in California and use similar backpack/leash all the time. No one ever said a word or gave me a weird look.

 

I know that without it we would have 2 kids instead of 3. My two year old is amazingly fast and will run until someone catches him. Parking lot, street, store- doesn't matter.

 

I think your friend needs to look for that telephone pole in her eye...

[Laura in MI]

I don't have a problem with them. I frankly don't see the difference between a harness and strapping your kid down in a stroller. At least with a harness they are allowed some freedom of movement.

 

:iagree: I used them when dd13 & 14 we're toddlers. I've used them occasionally for ds 3 & 5 when they we're younger, but I've had older kids to help keep an eye on them so it wasn't much of an issue.

[Julie in CA]

:lol::lol: Oh Julie, you are bringing up memories for me!!

Memories, huh? Sounds like you have a story to tell, lol!

[JMDRAD]

Besides, even if child harnesses were illegal in CA, that wouldn't prove a thing--we love to pass crazy laws. Though actually I'm more inclined to think that legislators would make them mandatory while outside rather than banning them!

 

:lol: My thoughts exactly! :lol:

[LND1218]

I don't have a problem with them. I frankly don't see the difference between a harness and strapping your kid down in a stroller. At least with a harness they are allowed some freedom of movement.

 

Or tying them to your back or front in a carrier... :tongue_smilie:

[NotAVampireLvr]

Anyone who has needed to put a leash on a toddler does not wonder why anyone would ever do it.

 

 

 

This is so true. Having my 18 m.o. take off in a full on run in a rest area parking lot off the New Jersey turnpike will forever change my opinion of harnesses. At the time he was our only child. It happens.

 

Thankfully my other 2 didn't walk until 18 months and 20 months. God is good!

[JessReplanted]

I absolutely used something similar when my kids were little. My girls are 12 months apart. Taking a 1 & 2 year old to the zoo (or a 2 & 3 year old) by yourself is no picnic. I also used them while traveling through airports.

 

When the option is either stay home (because you don't have anyone to help you) or use the 'leash', the leash doesn't look so bad. ;)

[Forget-Me-Not]

I live in CA and have used them for all three kids. I don't think I've had a single negative response. If anyone says anything about them, it's usually, "Where can I get one of those?!?!"

 

Not to mention, thousands upon thousands of people at places like Disney and the Monterrey Bay Aquarium would be in violation of the law.

[WeeBeaks]

If they are illegal, it is news to me. And I apparently then am witnessing illegal activity every day here in SoCal.

 

I used one with my oldest. Good grief, that kid was a handful and still is. At least I kept him alive though - so far. :D He was harder on me at the time with just one child than having 4 kids is now.

[emzhengjiu]

I had to use one of these for my younger daughter. She was and still is a speed demon. She could be out of sight in seconds. The harness gave me much peace of mind. A stranger once told me I was treating my daughter as if she were a dog. I should have told him to mind his own business but I didn't. My daughter's safety and my sanity were helped immensely by using a harness.

 

Ann

[dangermom]

Memories, huh? Sounds like you have a story to tell, lol!

 

:D Oh, I was at Berkeley when the Naked Guy was there. Nudity became all the rage. He did carry around a bandana to sit on in class--we had a lot of jokes about him...

[Lucy in Australia]

I couldn't imagine them being illegal anywhere in the world :confused: I'm pretty sure my harness (which was not even disguised as a cute animal :D) saved my 18-month old when she wanted to chase pigeons in the middle of Rome, Paris, London etc... If I hadn't had the harness I wouldn't have even tried taking her to busy places like that. She was too quick :tongue_smilie:

[BatmansWife]

My youngest had that exact same monkey harness. She loved it (and so did I). We called it her "monkey on her back" and she never gave us a problem with wearing it. I thought it was wonderful. I don't know where that monkey went to. I'm sure if I found it she'd still want to wear it. :001_smile:

 

I never heard of such a thing being illegal in any state (which doesn't mean that it isn't. But, it seems odd).

[abacus2]

My mind is boggling that a mom of twin toddlers could be horrified by these. I would think she would understand the valid keep the kids alive, safe, and happy functionality.

[Julie in CA]

:D Oh, I was at Berkeley when the Naked Guy was there. Nudity became all the rage. He did carry around a bandana to sit on in class--we had a lot of jokes about him...

Berkeley! :eek:

Apparently nudity is still all the rage in San Francisco though, and the debate is not whether nudity should be allowed on the street, but whether it should be allowed in eating establishments and whether they should be required to use a towel. :glare:

 

Really, I don't think I belong in California at all. I probably should be living somewhere that might be a bit more representative of my conservative values--Texas maybe? Yeah, I think I should change my screen name to "misplaced Texan", since I'm pretty sure my values would be better suited there than here. :001_huh:

 

Yeah, I could be called "gun-toting, stick-in-the-mud, prudish and fully-dressed misplaced Texan". It has a certain ring to it, no? :D

[Spy Car]

:D Oh, I was at Berkeley when the Naked Guy was there. Nudity became all the rage. He did carry around a bandana to sit on in class--we had a lot of jokes about him...

 

I remember when I was at Cal that there were harnesses like this with leashes, only they were made out of black leather and worn by adult men in the Castro ;)

 

Bill (Go Bears!)

[Little Nyssa]

I would just softly say, "I am sure she is doing the best she can." If she keeps it up follow with "We never know what others are going through."

 

 

And I would say this over & over. Eventually she will learn this, I bet. I would be patient with your friend. She must be frazzled out of her mind and the only thing that makes it bearable is that somebody else may be doing worse.

 

And, yes, Berkeley.:eek: It is the capital for criticizing mothers, by the way! I have been called on things there by perfect strangers that you would laugh at! I am really surprised we managed to live in that area so long without being reported.

[Spy Car]

Berkeley! :eek:

Apparently nudity is still all the rage in San Francisco though, and the debate is not whether nudity should be allowed on the street, but whether it should be allowed in eating establishments and whether they should be required to use a towel. :glare:

 

Really, I don't think I belong in California at all. I probably should be living somewhere that might be a bit more representative of my conservative values--Texas maybe? Yeah, I think I should change my screen name to "misplaced Texan", since I'm pretty sure my values would be better suited there than here. :001_huh:

 

Yeah, I could be called "gun-toting, stick-in-the-mud, prudish and fully-dressed misplaced Texan". It has a certain ring to it, no? :D

 

It was not unusual for students to sunbathe on the grass inclines of Berkeley's Greek Theater. It had the perfect inclination and attitude towards the sun for catching rays on perfect Berkeley days. So one day I'm in the Greek Theatre drinking in some much needed sun and I meet this very lively and interesting older woman in her 70s and she told me that students sunbathed nude in the Greek Theater back when she was a student in the 1920's.

 

Go Bears!

 

Bill

Edited January 19, 2012 by Spy Car

[myfunnybunch]

I would just softly say, "I am sure she is doing the best she can." If she keeps it up follow with "We never know what others are going through."

 

I think this is very sweet and gracious. :) A lovely way to reframe the situation without correcting your friend. Hopefully, eventually, she will start thinking it automatically in those kinds of situations.

 

Cat

[sewingmama]

Two of my kids needed to be on leashes. Unfortunately for me they both hated them and if I put one on them they would drop cold to the floor and scream and refuse to move :glare:

 

I could have just dragged them along by the leash - but then I guess I would have just re-inforced people's objection to them ;)

[tex-mex]

And that is why the other mom has cute little monkey harness/backpacks. I would point that out.

Oooh. It was in the depths of my inner soul -- so wanting to point that out. Heheheee.

 

I think your friend needs to look for that telephone pole in her eye...

True dat. She is too busy judging other mamas.

 

Thank God I can vent about it here. Aiiiiyyyyeeee.

This is so true. Having my 18 m.o. take off in a full on run in a rest area parking lot off the New Jersey turnpike will forever change my opinion of harnesses. At the time he was our only child. It happens.

 

Thankfully my other 2 didn't walk until 18 months and 20 months. God is good!

 

Okay. Now that is scary. And I'm not sure if my heart could have took that episode... eeeeeeek!!!:svengo:

 

I live in CA and have used them for all three kids. I don't think I've had a single negative response. If anyone says anything about them, it's usually, "Where can I get one of those?!?!"

 

Not to mention, thousands upon thousands of people at places like Disney and the Monterrey Bay Aquarium would be in violation of the law.

:lol:

If they are illegal, it is news to me. And I apparently then am witnessing illegal activity every day here in SoCal.

 

 

:lol:

My mind is boggling that a mom of twin toddlers could be horrified by these. I would think she would understand the valid keep the kids alive, safe, and happy functionality.

I know, right? I don't get it either.

I remember when I was at Cal that there were harnesses like this with leashes, only they were made out of black leather and worn by adult men in the Castro ;)

 

:smilielol5::smilielol5::smilielol5:

Two of my kids needed to be on leashes. Unfortunately for me they both hated them and if I put one on them they would drop cold to the floor and scream and refuse to move

 

I could have just dragged them along by the leash - but then I guess I would have just re-inforced people's objection to them

Oh my.

 

This is precisely the scenario with my friend's twin toddlers. If they do not like it, all you-know-what breaks loose. I was quite impressed with one tantrum that lasted 30 minutes over a seat beat in the car. Wowzers. After a morning with that episode and the mom/friend too scared to deal with the toddler in charge of 2 adults... when I came home frazzled, I told my husband I needed a stiff drink. HAAAAAAAA. :D

[Crimson Wife]

I was against toddler harnesses until my 2nd child was born when we were living in Boston and I had to deal with taking the T (subway) with a very energetic 3 y.o. and an infant. I still cringe a bit every time I put it on a child, but it has kept them safe over the years.

[jennsmile]

Perhaps for the next outing you should buy some for her twins. :lol:

[cjzimmer1]

When my kids were little they ASKED me to put them in their harness. They loved the freedom to explore a little bit farther than they normally got holding my hand but it also gave them security that mom was close by. They would have complete fits though if someone else tried to hold it. They wanted that connection with mom.

[Mimm]

I used a "leash" for my oldest. It went around her wrist. She was 18 months old when I had her sister. I was in the situation above where she would split and I was standing there with a newborn trying to decide which kid to stay near. She liked having the physical reminder to stay close and never fought me on it.

 

She's ten now and one time she saw a child with a harness when we were out and she pointed him out to me in surprise. I commented that I had the same type of thing for her when she was little and she thought that was hysterical. :)

[RoughCollie]

My kids had harnesses. There was no way to safely take them out in public otherwise. That seemed like a no-brainer to me, but I did receive abrasive comments from stupid people about how I was treating them like dogs. A few even accused me of being abusive because my kids wore leashes.

 

I do mean stupid, btw, even though I'm certain none of the people who made comments were actually unintelligent. To me, it is simple common sense that if I have 3 or 4 toddlers or preschoolers in tow, I have the responsibility to make sure the children are safe. What would I have done with the others if one had run off and risked being hit by a car?

Edited January 19, 2012 by RoughCollie

[higginszoo]

10 years ago, I used the harness a lot. The boys were comfortable in the double stroller (a late walking toddler and a somewhat physically challenged 3 year old). But there was no room for the ADD 2 year old who loved(s) to climb. I got lots of dirty looks and was even was accosted in the mall (we lived near Seattle) about overpopulation, yadda yadda ... my dh didn't do well with the dark, so we only lived there a year, but we also came away with the idea that it was NOT a family-friendly place to live. Whatever. She's lived to be 12 so far, which she might not have if I hadn't used the harness.

 

As far as the friend, my mom learned this when I was little, and I did, too. As much as we liked some people, their active decision not to parent, illustrated by the refusal to have any rules, even for safety like holding hands (not necessarily by choosing not to personally use a harness), made the situation dangerous for us as children and my own children, and it became necessary to make the relationship more distant for the course of the child-raising phase of life. My mom is now close again to one of these ladies who she had to stop socializing with when her dc broke every toy in my room while the mother stood blithely by. They can now talk grandchildren, though my mother, who rarely has anything bad to say about anyone or anything, has confessed to not particularly wanting to meet this friend's grandchildren in person.

[LuvingLife]

I used to know someone who only used the harness when in high traffic areas, or places where he knew his son would wonder off and get hurt. So no they are not illegal, everyone is different!:)

[higginszoo]

When my kids were little they ASKED me to put them in their harness. They loved the freedom to explore a little bit farther than they normally got holding my hand but it also gave them security that mom was close by. They would have complete fits though if someone else tried to hold it. They wanted that connection with mom.

This was my dd, too, most of the time. She had her moments of two year old pique, but she generally liked the security. But yeah, her rules were that I had to hold it, couldn't even clip it onto the stroller.

 

When they got old enough to be compliant (3, 4, 5), we were travelling a lot -- just me and the dc. So I had a 'duck rope' for them to hold on to ... I'd take the lead, and they'd hold on to loops and we could stay together in airports, etc. the comments of how cute or smart it was outnumbered the critical remarks probably about 4:1. Last year, we were in a busy airport, just me and the kids again, and I could only hold the 6 and 10 year olds' hands. The 11 and 12 year olds were lamenting that I hadn't thought to bring the duck rope, as even though they are capable of traveling without an adult now (we still send them in a group of 2 or 3), they kind of like the security, I think.

[stripe]

There is a lady who lives on my street with a kid who looks about 8-10 who is on a harness when they go on walks. He looks a little bit different, so I figure it's a safety thing.

 

The only time I've really rolled my eyes was when someone used them to "walk" a kid (who could barely walk) up and down the aisles on an airplane. I mean, how far or fast could he really go?

[brendag]

Disneyland with 2 year old twins. You bet I used them! Most of the time I didn't need to because my kids liked being in the stroller. :). My daughter had no fear of walking off and has always loved talking to strangers.

 

One time I used them in Old Sacramento. An older man said something about them, but I couldn't quite hear what. Then I heard his wife(?) tell him to be quiet since he never had to deal with 2 little kids by himself. :D

[Ellie]

Sounds like an urban legend to me, along the lines of its not being legal to drive a car barefooted in California. Not drive barefooted? In California?? :lol:

 

As far as comments to your friend, I probably would have said, "Huh," and let it go. She's going to believe what she's going to believe.

[dangermom]

Berkeley! :eek:

 

Oh, I loved Berkeley. It's a great place. I couldn't live there now--I don't like big cities anymore and it's not an easy place to live--but I still love it.

Apparently nudity is still all the rage in San Francisco though, and the debate is not whether nudity should be allowed on the street, but whether it should be allowed in eating establishments and whether they should be required to use a towel. :glare:

I had not heard that. :001_huh: SF is a little...chilly...for that kind of behavior! But if it weren't for the museums I'd happily never go there again.

Really, I don't think I belong in California at all. I probably should be living somewhere that might be a bit more representative of my conservative values--Texas maybe? Yeah, I think I should change my screen name to "misplaced Texan", since I'm pretty sure my values would be better suited there than here. :001_huh:

 

Yeah, I could be called "gun-toting, stick-in-the-mud, prudish and fully-dressed misplaced Texan". It has a certain ring to it, no? :D

My problem is that I hate the way CA is run,* but it's HOME. I think Chico is the greatest place to live (if it weren't for the dang evil City Council). Not to mention most of my family is here. I don't know where I'd go if we left.

 

 

*Here we are, in one of the most naturally-wealthy areas in the whole world. Can we run it competently? Apparently not.

[katilac]

I don't have a problem with them. I frankly don't see the difference between a harness and strapping your kid down in a stroller. At least with a harness they are allowed some freedom of movement.

 

I know, right? I never had to use them with my two, but it seems a sight better than being belted into a stroller all the time (which ones sees often, and no one bats an eye or utters a word).