PIE! Posted January 7, 2012 Share Posted January 7, 2012 dd(7) was just invited to her first sleepover party. dh and I have mixed feelings about letting her go. We know the family a little - the girls are friends from our co-op and they seem like good people with strong values. There's probably nothing to worry about. But I remember going to sleepover parties at homes of good people, only to be exposed to some less-than-good stuff. Nothing terribly bad - but some movies I know I shouldn't have seen, or some games that were not appropriate. I know others who were exposed to MUCH worse - even at church sleepovers. But I know I can't, and shouldn't, shelter our kids their entire lives. They will eventually be in situations where they need make tough decisions. But 7 years old might be too young. Since this is the first invitation for our oldest child - this seems like a precedent setting moment. It seems like it would be easiest to either say "yes", or "Sorry honey, but we don't allow sleepover parties at all. You can go for a while, but I'll pick you up at 8:00." We really don't know what to do, but we promised dd a decision today. So do you let your kids go to sleepover parties? Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Heather in Neverland Posted January 7, 2012 Share Posted January 7, 2012 No I do not allow it and especially not at 7 years old. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Laura in MI Posted January 7, 2012 Share Posted January 7, 2012 My dc started going to sleepover parties when they we're around that age. I usually encourage sleepovers at our house instead of them going somewhere else though, but if it was an actual party for the friend and I knew the people and was okay with them I probably wouldn't think twice about it. :001_smile: Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
*Lulu* Posted January 7, 2012 Share Posted January 7, 2012 We allow it when certain conditions are met. Age 7 and a family we only know a little wouldn't satisfy our conditions. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Veritaserum Posted January 7, 2012 Share Posted January 7, 2012 We do allow sleepovers, but not at age 7. We do "late nights" until age 9/10. "Late nights" mean like 9pm. :) Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
jennsmile Posted January 7, 2012 Share Posted January 7, 2012 No we have a no sleepover rule. I would however talk to the mom and find out what time the girls are going to bed and pick up my child at that time. And maybe even arrange to take them back for breakfast the next day depending on the party schedule. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
PrincessMommy Posted January 7, 2012 Share Posted January 7, 2012 I would not do a sleepover for a 7yr old. I remember my 10yr old sleeping over at a neighbors and I got the teary call that she wanted to come home at 11pm. Just imagine if you had to get in the car and go get her. This is what we've done in the past: We would allow our children to go to the party and I would pick them up super late (for them) sometime like 9 or 10 or 11pm. That way they feel like they're part of the fun AND get to stay up late, etc. etc. We've also done this with older kids who had something early the next morning (like church or swim team). Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Coffeetime Posted January 7, 2012 Share Posted January 7, 2012 7 would be too young for a family we only knew slightly. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Unicorn. Posted January 7, 2012 Share Posted January 7, 2012 We allowed sleepovers at that age, and our dds even went away for a week to Girl Scout camp at 7. However, the sleepovers were w/ people we knew well. I think if you are uncomfortable w the situation, and don't know the family well, you could let her go until 10 and then pick her up. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
gardenmom5 Posted January 7, 2012 Share Posted January 7, 2012 It REALLY depended upon a) my child's personality, and b) the other child/family and how well I knew them. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Trish Posted January 7, 2012 Share Posted January 7, 2012 A 7-year-old is usually not mature enough to recognize a red flag that an older child might. Also if this family "seems" to have strong values, but you dont' know them well, I don't know if SEEMS is good enough. Do you know this family well enough to let them borrow your car? If not, you don't know them well enough to borrow your 7-year-old. We have allowed our kids sleepovers with families we knew very well, and vice versa. However in the past year we have instituted a "no more sleepovers" policy for a variety of reasons. One, we always stay up as late as the kids to ensure everything is okay. As they get older, they are starting to outlast us. Second, our boys are VERY crabby the next day after a sleepover. No matter what bedtime is instituted, they always stay up late talking and then the whole next day becomes a Lost Day. Third, as they get older they may want to stay at kids' houses whose parents we don't know well. Lots of opportunity for trouble. So we're nipping it in the bud now. no more sleepovers. good luck, usually it's just innocent fun, but you just have to be wrong about someone ONE time. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Mergath Posted January 7, 2012 Share Posted January 7, 2012 Dd isn't that age yet, but when she is seven, I'll let her go on sleepovers if it's a family I know and trust. I started going on sleepovers when I was five, and I survived. Sleepovers are so much fun at that age, and they let kids see that other families do things differently, which is good, I think. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
sassenach Posted January 7, 2012 Share Posted January 7, 2012 We do sleepovers at 7, but not sleepover parties. At 7, I am comfortable with 1 on 1 sleepovers with families we know well (which means knowing the dad as well as the mom). Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Trish Posted January 7, 2012 Share Posted January 7, 2012 Since it's winter you might want to know: are there working smoke detectors in the home? Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
songbirdie Posted January 7, 2012 Share Posted January 7, 2012 No. No sleepover at 7 with a family we don't know extremely well. In fact, no sleepovers even up to age 18 with families we don't know extremely well. When my oldest was 8 at the time (now 14) she slept over at a family's house from our church we knew fairly well. She was molested by the 12 yr. old son from that household. So. . .NO. No sleepovers unless we know the family extremely well - ALL memebers of the family. Not just the one our child is going to visit. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
lcelmer Posted January 7, 2012 Share Posted January 7, 2012 7 is pretty young for people you don't know all that well... however I would definitely let my kids stay at cousins or grandmas at 7. :-) Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
tomandlorih Posted January 7, 2012 Share Posted January 7, 2012 Our dd turned 8 in October and she has been to 2 sleep overs since then. 1 I was more comfortable with than the other as far as what she would be exposed too but it wasn't as bad as I thought it could have been=D I prefer her to have friends over here to sleep over. (Although, then I wonder... you don't really know me that well and you are letting your girl sleep over?? lol) :lol: Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
AHASRADA Posted January 7, 2012 Share Posted January 7, 2012 We only allow sleepovers very rarely with family and very close friends who share the same faith/values, and our dc are 15 and 11! That said, we also don't believe it is fair for our dc to miss out on the fun because of our rules. We bring the child to the party and let them stay until near bedtime, or whenever the activities will be finished (crafts, dinner, movie, etc.) If you live close enough, you could even bring them back to the party in the AM if there are any fun activities going on then. I also make sure to allow them to host their own sleepovers at our home. At age 7, sleepovers do not seem at all necessary. My dc wouldn't have felt comfortable sleeping at a non-family member's house at that age anyway (which your dc might discover as well at 1am :glare:.) Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Word Nerd Posted January 7, 2012 Share Posted January 7, 2012 (edited) DD10 is going to a sleepover tonight with one friend and has gone to a couple of slumber parties. DD6 was invited to stay over with a friend over Christmas break and I said no. Even later this year at 7 I think she's a little young. Edited January 7, 2012 by WordGirl Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
lorrainejmc Posted January 7, 2012 Share Posted January 7, 2012 No sleepovers here. I was sent on sleepovers as a kid and hated them but would never say. At 8 I went to sleepover with a family from our church where the 10 yr old daughter filled me in with every detail of life I did not yet need to know.:001_huh: Then at 13 I had my first period on a sleepover.:crying: Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
myfunnybunch Posted January 7, 2012 Share Posted January 7, 2012 I voted Moo. ;) We did/do allow sleepovers, starting around age 8-10 (depending on the child), with people that we know and trust. Family is different. My kids have been sleeping over with cousins and vice versa wince about age 4. I never had a bad experience as a sleepover as a child, so I'm sure that colors my perception of sleepovers. :) Cat Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Vanna Posted January 7, 2012 Share Posted January 7, 2012 Ha! I just had to "moo!" (Good one!):lol: My dd has gone to the sleepover party of a dear friend a couple of times. The family is as close as blood-relations to us. They live out-of-state so I "slept over" as well. ;) Up to this point, my children have not been invited to sleepover parties. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Tohru Posted January 7, 2012 Share Posted January 7, 2012 I just read Battle Hymn of the Tiger Mother and this is what she said about sleepovers: Upon giving in to let her daughter have a sleepover: "The next morning, she came back not only exhausted (and unable to practice piano well) but crabby and miserable. It turns out that sleepovers aren't fun at all for many kids - they can be kind of a punishment parents unknowingly inflict on their children through permissiveness." I must admit, that I have to agree. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
hsmom2011 Posted January 7, 2012 Share Posted January 7, 2012 As a general rule, we don't do sleepovers. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
TKDmom Posted January 7, 2012 Share Posted January 7, 2012 I allowed my dd to go to sleepovers at 7, but only with one or two families that we pare particularly close to. I don't think I'd let a child go to a sleepover at any age with a family that I didn't know well. If you're having misgivings, listen to those feelings. I'd be more inclined to allow her to stay until 9 or 10 and then pick her up. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
beaners Posted January 7, 2012 Share Posted January 7, 2012 For my 7th birthday my parents let me invite every girl I was friends with for a sleepover. Imagine their surprise when nearly every parent dropped their child off! Half of them had never even met my parents before. 20 girls was fun for me, but my parents were overwhelmed. I personally probably wouldn't let a 7 year old sleep over unless it was a family I was close to. I would allow a child to stay until around bedtime, and be picked up then. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Vanna Posted January 7, 2012 Share Posted January 7, 2012 We only allow sleepovers very rarely with family and very close friends who share the same faith/values, and our dc are 15 and 11! That said, we also don't believe it is fair for our dc to miss out on the fun because of our rules. We bring the child to the party and let them stay until near bedtime, or whenever the activities will be finished (crafts, dinner, movie, etc.) If you live close enough, you could even bring them back to the party in the AM if there are any fun activities going on then... This is such a good suggestion. :thumbup: Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Janie Grace Posted January 7, 2012 Share Posted January 7, 2012 We do allow sleepovers, but not at age 7. We do "late nights" until age 9/10. "Late nights" mean like 9pm. :) :iagree: This is our approach too. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Starr Posted January 7, 2012 Share Posted January 7, 2012 At 7 I brought dd home at 10pm or so. She was overwrought with all the stimulation. That is just her personality. Once I took ds home and back over at 7 am to a party. He never liked to sleep away from home. This did not endear dd to the group however. The boys never seemed to care one way or another. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
athena1277 Posted January 7, 2012 Share Posted January 7, 2012 My dd just went to her first sleepover recently. She was a few weeks from turning 9yo. The only reason I let her go was because it was with her AHG troop so I knew there would be a lot of supervision. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
clarkacademy Posted January 7, 2012 Share Posted January 7, 2012 I would let her go for the party and pick her up around 9 cause they will probally be up then. I would let her do the party and playing but then come home, after I made sure of what was going to be going on. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
catz Posted January 7, 2012 Share Posted January 7, 2012 It REALLY depended upon a) my child's personality, and b) the other child/family and how well I knew them. :iagree: My oldest started sleepovers with our very close neighbors at age 8. My daughter will be 8 next summer and I would consider letting her have a sleepover somewhere else if the "right" family asked. She has had an older friend sleep over here. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
twoxcell Posted January 7, 2012 Share Posted January 7, 2012 My kids have only been at sleepovers at my sisters house and only the older two. All of them spend the night at my moms a few times a year but that isn't a sleepover. They have never been invited to sleepover at anyone elses house but the answer would most likely be no. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
PIE! Posted January 8, 2012 Author Share Posted January 8, 2012 Thanks for all the comments! After stewing over it a bit, we've decided to just let her go for a few hours, but pick her up before bedtime. Everything would probably be fine and fun, but I've just got one of those mommy feelings that I've learned not to ignore. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
caedmyn Posted January 8, 2012 Share Posted January 8, 2012 I have a 6 YO, and I wouldn't let her (now or ever) sleepover anywhere we didn't know the parents well. Even if we knew them well I would want to know what activities they'd be doing and what the level of supervision will be (and if we knew the family well I'd probably already have a good idea of what the supervision level would be). She has had one friend sleepover at our house twice though. I will never, even allow my boys to do a sleepover. Not after hearing the experiences of a (male) childhood friend at sleepovers with a bunch of other boys raised in good families. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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