Osmosis Mom Posted January 4, 2012 Share Posted January 4, 2012 Friend has a dh who has some level of amnesia. He claims strongly that he honestly cannot remember when he blows or walks out on her, for months while working and having a regular life otherwise. He has some issues from his childhood that she is aware of, but she is about to loose her patience with his treatment even though he has periods when he is so kind to her and cannot remember being otherwise? Does this make sense? This is a serious post and he is saying this in all seriousness. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
OrganicAnn Posted January 4, 2012 Share Posted January 4, 2012 So he leaves her for long periods and claims it is amnesia? Has he seen doctors about it? Is he seeking treatment? When he is gone, how does he live? Does he use his ATM card? Credit Cards? Cell Phone? I can't imagine not remember a wife, but remembers a pin number. I don't know what to think, but I might be tempted to hire a Private Investigator. I would not do it if it was just an ordinary case of cheating or abandonment - then I would say seek counseling. But this is a little strange. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Nakia Posted January 4, 2012 Share Posted January 4, 2012 So he left her for months, continued his life otherwise, yet claims he doesn't remember leaving? Like selective amnesia? I'm not buying it. Of course, I could be misunderstanding the situation. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
elegantlion Posted January 4, 2012 Share Posted January 4, 2012 Has he had a head injury or any time of neurological disorder. My dh had a concussion in 2009 and had some serious lapses in memory afterward. He would lose days and entire conversations. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
bettyandbob Posted January 4, 2012 Share Posted January 4, 2012 If this is truly what is happening, I would think he had a head injury or a brain tumor. I would insist on a neurological exam. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Ottakee Posted January 4, 2012 Share Posted January 4, 2012 NOt sure. I know that some forms of seizures can cause a person to have a "blow up" and not remember it, etc. but not sure it would last for "months" as it is more of a minutes to hours type thing. I would certainly request a full neurological workup if there is a question this is real along with a neuropsych eval. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Rosie_0801 Posted January 4, 2012 Share Posted January 4, 2012 Low dopamine can cause some funny things. My dh is on Epilim, which depressed dopamine production, and can tell me black is white in one breath and deny doing so in the next. But that's not forgetting where his family lives for months on end. :confused: Rosie Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
swellmomma Posted January 4, 2012 Share Posted January 4, 2012 I would guess he is lieing and leading a second life. Makes me wonder what other woman is falling for the same line from him. Every couple months he gets a bout of "amnesia" and goes to live with the other woman. SOunds like a plot from a soap opera. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Bang!Zoom! Posted January 4, 2012 Share Posted January 4, 2012 Just to be on the safe side, I'd run credit reports for both of them pronto. The financial issues here if there are kids involved are enormous. If it truly is a condition, he has should probably be released from the financial duties of the family like yesterday. In his defense, Oliver Sacks has published case studies of such people. In her defense, if this is beyond the scope of what she signed up for when she married, it's probably time to put the cards on the table, either seek treatment and attend to matters medically...if there is refusal for constant monitoring, it's probably best to end things. No way could I sleep in a house with a person like that, no matter what our relationship. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Teachin'Mine Posted January 4, 2012 Share Posted January 4, 2012 I'm reading it as the blow ups and walking out on her are short lived while he lives a normal life otherwise, but I may be wrong. If this is the case, is it possible that he's drinking? Some people have blackouts while drinking and don't remember what they said or did during that time. This would only be a possibility if we're talking very short term "amnesia". If he's leaving her for months on end, I agree that he's probably living a double life. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Catwoman Posted January 4, 2012 Share Posted January 4, 2012 I had so many answers ready for this thread, and then I read the part about it being a real and serious situation. Now I've got nothing. :glare: :D But if the husband won't agree to a barrage of medical testing to determine what's wrong with him, I would call Pants on Fire and toss him to the curb. I find it bizarre that this man is aware that he has episodes of amnesia, yet hasn't panicked about it and immediately gone to the best doctors he could find. I hope there are more details to this story than we know so far, because I don't know why the medical possibilities weren't explored as soon as this stuff began to happen. :confused: Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
justamouse Posted January 4, 2012 Share Posted January 4, 2012 I had so many answers ready for this thread, and then I read the part about it being a real and serious situation. Now I've got nothing. :glare: :D But if the husband won't agree to a barrage of medical testing to determine what's wrong with him, I would call Pants on Fire and toss him to the curb. I find it bizarre that this man is aware that he has episodes of amnesia, yet hasn't panicked about it and immediately gone to the best doctors he could find. I hope there are more details to this story than we know so far, because I don't know why the medical possibilities weren't explored as soon as this stuff began to happen. :confused: :iagree: Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
8circles Posted January 4, 2012 Share Posted January 4, 2012 I had so many answers ready for this thread, and then I read the part about it being a real and serious situation. Now I've got nothing. :glare: :D But if the husband won't agree to a barrage of medical testing to determine what's wrong with him, I would call Pants on Fire and toss him to the curb. I find it bizarre that this man is aware that he has episodes of amnesia, yet hasn't panicked about it and immediately gone to the best doctors he could find. I hope there are more details to this story than we know so far, because I don't know why the medical possibilities weren't explored as soon as this stuff began to happen. :confused: Not only that but what does she do when he doesn't come home? Id be calling the police with a missing person report. I just can't even imagine how this plays out for so long without a confrontation and getting answers. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Catwoman Posted January 4, 2012 Share Posted January 4, 2012 Not only that but what does she do when he doesn't come home? Id be calling the police with a missing person report. I just can't even imagine how this plays out for so long without a confrontation and getting answers. Maybe he stayed away for a few nights once, and when he got home, she whacked him over the head with the vacuum cleaner (she would have used a cast iron frying pan, but the vacuum was right there...) And he got amnesia. And amazingly, he keeps getting it every. single. time. he doesn't come home on time... Hmmmmmmmmm.......... :D Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Sugarfoot Posted January 4, 2012 Share Posted January 4, 2012 I knew someone who had periods of time that they couldn't remember. It was slightly different, as he was single, but he traveled frequently for business and did some increasingly scary things, none of which he was aware or could remember. It turned out to be a brain tumor, and he died on one of those trips. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Unicorn. Posted January 4, 2012 Share Posted January 4, 2012 So he has a regular job that he goes to, and can remember to show up to work, but doesn't come home for months? Exactly where does he go after work for all those months? Honestly, it sounds like he is living a double life, probably with another family somewhere, but hey, tell her to get a full nuero eval, just to rule it out. I would also suggest some digging into financial records, and as a pp suggested, hire a PI if necessary. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Twigs Posted January 4, 2012 Share Posted January 4, 2012 Friend has a dh who has some level of amnesia. He claims strongly that he honestly cannot remember when he blows or walks out on her, for months while working and having a regular life otherwise. He has some issues from his childhood that she is aware of, but she is about to loose her patience with his treatment even though he has periods when he is so kind to her and cannot remember being otherwise? Does this make sense? This is a serious post and he is saying this in all seriousness. This sounds like a similar situation a friend of mine had with her husband. He had some (not a complete) medical workup done with no definitive diagnosis. They used a GP; I think they really needed a specialist (psycharist or neurologist). … I find it bizarre that this man is aware that he has episodes of amnesia, yet hasn't panicked about it and immediately gone to the best doctors he could find. I hope there are more details to this story than we know so far, because I don't know why the medical possibilities weren't explored as soon as this stuff began to happen. :confused: Not seeking good, complete medical diagnosis / treatment really isn't that uncommon, for a variety of factors such as fear, cost, availablity of competent help, etc. Most parents can be an advocate and will find help for their children no matter what, but an adult seeking help for himself/herself (usually with no advocate to help) is a different story - sometimes due to the nature of the problem itself. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Catwoman Posted January 4, 2012 Share Posted January 4, 2012 (edited) ...but an adult seeking help for himself/herself (usually with no advocate to help) is a different story - sometimes due to the nature of the problem itself. But in this case, he has a concerned wife and a family. This isn't some poor, destitute man living in a cardboard box somewhere with no access to medical help. This is a family man with a job. I would like to know how he responds when his wife suggests medical testing. (I would also like to know why she hasn't insisted on it long before now.) Something just isn't adding up here. All I know is that if my dh showed up at home claiming he had amnesia, he'd be in an ambulance on his way to the hospital immediately, and he wouldn't get out until he was properly diagnosed and treated. Period. Who would mess around with amnesia? It's not exactly a common household illness. Edited January 4, 2012 by Catwoman Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
KidsHappen Posted January 4, 2012 Share Posted January 4, 2012 Friend has a dh who has some level of amnesia. He claims strongly that he honestly cannot remember when he blows or walks out on her, for months while working and having a regular life otherwise. He has some issues from his childhood that she is aware of, but she is about to loose her patience with his treatment even though he has periods when he is so kind to her and cannot remember being otherwise? Does this make sense? This is a serious post and he is saying this in all seriousness. Do you mean that this as in several short independent incidents that have been going on over a period of months or do you mean he disappears for months at a time? Because that is two totally different situations. If you are talking about discreet incidents of a blow up and lack of memory of the incident then there can be lots of explanations for that. The other situation would be much harder to explain. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Veritaserum Posted January 4, 2012 Share Posted January 4, 2012 Dh's panic attacks sometimes make him forget who/where he is.... Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Twigs Posted January 4, 2012 Share Posted January 4, 2012 But in this case, he has a concerned wife and a family. This isn't some poor, destitute man living in a cardboard box somewhere with no access to medical help. This is a family man with a job. My friend's husband also worked, but much of the time no insurance. I would like to know how he responds when his wife suggests medical testing. (I would also like to know why she hasn't insisted on it long before now.) Some people are very resistant (ie stubborn) to medical testing. There is not much you can do if they will not cooperate. Sometimes this non-cooperation is due to underlying emotional / psychiatric problems which can be very difficult to diagnose and treat even with patients who are cooperative. Something just isn't adding up here. All I know is that if my dh showed up at home claiming he had amnesia, he'd be in an ambulance on his way to the hospital immediately, and he wouldn't get out until he was properly diagnosed and treated. Period. When the husband is literally twice the size of the wife, there is no way to force him into an ambulance. I had another friend who need hospital care for a post-surgery infection, was discharged from hospital and eventually died. No one from his family was able to get the medical care he needed (they tried). Sometimes sheer determination is not enough to get results. Who would mess around with amnesia? It's not exactly a common household illness. . Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Catwoman Posted January 4, 2012 Share Posted January 4, 2012 Twigs, I'll be honest with you. If my dh claimed to have amnesia or appeared to be having some serious memory problems, yet he repeatedly refused to get medical assistance, at least I would rest easy at night knowing that he probably wouldn't even remember that I'd tossed all of his stuff out on to the front lawn and called him a cab. ;) Even if a husband doesn't like doctors, I feel that he owes it to his family to try to stay healthy for them, and a wife should do the same if she is unwell. Sticking your head in the sand and hoping the problem will go away just isn't a solution -- especially when the symptom is something as frightening as amnesia. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
justasque Posted January 4, 2012 Share Posted January 4, 2012 Friend has a dh who has some level of amnesia. He claims strongly that he honestly cannot remember when he blows or walks out on her, for months while working and having a regular life otherwise. He has some issues from his childhood that she is aware of, but she is about to lose her patience with his treatment even though he has periods when he is so kind to her and cannot remember being otherwise? Does this make sense? This is a serious post and he is saying this in all seriousness. I'm not entirely sure I understand the situation, from your post. However, I think the bottom line is that amnesia is not normal. Regardless of what it is he is forgetting, he should get it checked out. Of course, since he is forgetting the incidents, it may be hard to convince him that he needs medical attention because of them, as he doesn't remember them! If the situation is more one of him getting angry at her, blowing up, then later acting as if nothing happened, I would be seriously concerned about her safety. If this is the case, whether the behavior is because of medical reasons or not, it would be wise to seek professional help. Starting with a medical work-up is probably a good first step. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Myeightkiddies Posted January 4, 2012 Share Posted January 4, 2012 I'm not entirely sure I understand the situation, from your post. However, I think the bottom line is that amnesia is not normal. Regardless of what it is he is forgetting, he should get it checked out. Of course, since he is forgetting the incidents, it may be hard to convince him that he needs medical attention because of them, as he doesn't remember them! If the situation is more one of him getting angry at her, blowing up, then later acting as if nothing happened, I would be seriously concerned about her safety. If this is the case, whether the behavior is because of medical reasons or not, it would be wise to seek professional help. Starting with a medical work-up is probably a good first step. :iagree: Definitely, what she said! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
gardenmom5 Posted January 4, 2012 Share Posted January 4, 2012 (edited) So he leaves her for long periods and claims it is amnesia? Has he seen doctors about it? Is he seeking treatment? When he is gone, how does he live? Does he use his ATM card? Credit Cards? Cell Phone? I can't imagine not remember a wife, but remembers a pin number. I don't know what to think, but I might be tempted to hire a Private Investigator. I would not do it if it was just an ordinary case of cheating or abandonment - then I would say seek counseling. But this is a little strange. :iagree: call me cynical, but I'd only believe it was real if a PI found no funny business going on during that time. cheating husbands will often treat their wives kindly to assauge their sense of guilt. occams razor would seem to indicate cheating as opposed to an organic cause. especially if he's showing up at his job. Edited January 4, 2012 by gardenmom5 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Chris in VA Posted January 4, 2012 Share Posted January 4, 2012 I think they should go to therapy. (Just kidding...:D) Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Osmosis Mom Posted January 4, 2012 Author Share Posted January 4, 2012 Thanks everyone for your input. As Inunderstand it, then they have had a couple of fights over the last few years which blew up and where he then left. He works close by and sleeps in his office and would after several days or weeks start stopping by the house to greet the kids, but in both cases did nit speak to his wife for months. She would think he was obviously an @@iot. This time she actually filed for divorce after he initiated the four month silence with yelling he would divorce her. So after three months of silence, she filed for divorce, he didn't show up for the mediation and two weeks later he came to her and asked for her forgiveness amd to take him back. At that point then she spoke at lengths with him and confronted him and he honestly says he doesn't remember. Please understand that they are both highly educated and smart people. She is no dummy, but we honestly do not think he is fooling around or stuff like that. They have marital issues like the rest of us, but then there are these blow ups and no speaking when he leaves and ony comes back during a few evenjngs a week to check on the kids until three months later he wants her back. This time was more involved as the wife was going to divorce him, but she is now working hard to understand what is going in while he has several things he has to change and work on. He recently had a regular medical check up for insurance purposes, but is adamant that he does not take medication or otherwise see a doctor. This is one of the things the wife needs from him, to do some testing - if she knows what to test for- and have him take his medication or fish oil etc. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Osmosis Mom Posted January 4, 2012 Author Share Posted January 4, 2012 BTW they have been in therapy before and have always struggled in their marriage, but the amnesia part isa first for her to hear and there is ninreason he is making that up at this point and considering the rest of their dialogue. So pease assume the facts are as I told you guys. I was thinking hormones, thyroid? But a brain tumor for years and he is, thank God, still alive? Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Plink Posted January 4, 2012 Share Posted January 4, 2012 If he isn't willing to go for testing, there isn't a whole lot she can do. She is in such a sad situation. I know of a family who went through something similar. The husband would yell, break things, storm out, and then claim to never remember being aggressive. He was later diagnosed as being bi-polar. We still don't know if the "I don't remember" line was a lie or not, but one way or the other, it is getting better now that he is on medication. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Teachin'Mine Posted January 4, 2012 Share Posted January 4, 2012 It sounds like he's embarrassed by his behavior. If he had total amnesia, he wouldn't remember his family and go back to check in on his children. Kwim? Does he claim that he doesn't remember getting angry? That's possible as some people have such violent angry outbursts that they completely block out the memory of it. But if that's the case, then he probably wouldn't be giving her the silent treatment, but would continue on with life as though nothing had happened. Whatever the reason, he needs help. I would think they would start with a referral from their GP to a neurologist and go from there. If they find nothing wrong medically, then he needs anger management counseling at the least. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Osmosis Mom Posted January 4, 2012 Author Share Posted January 4, 2012 She will look into testing. Once they went to a counselor and the first thing he told them was to get anger management so you might be onto something there. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
SunD Posted January 4, 2012 Share Posted January 4, 2012 I would still do credit checks and hire a private investigator, even if she believes him 100% when he says he's sleeping at the office. If he doesn't remember not speaking to his wife for months on end, what else might he not remember? He could be blowing money all sort of different places and have no idea. He could be hoarding cash in a safety deposit box somewhere and not remember that he has one. He could be wandering around, going to dangerous places unaware. If this is real and if he really won't see a doctor about it, I'd want credit checks to make sure my place was secure in case he died of a brain tumor or something. I'd also want the PI following him to keep him relatively safe during these episodes. That's the most she can do, I guess. If he won't get treatment it doesn't really matter what's causing it. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Osmosis Mom Posted January 4, 2012 Author Share Posted January 4, 2012 It is the blow ups he forgets.He does the silent treatment and they are both proid people so that goes on for a while. Until now, hopefully. Money is not a concern. She has access to all documents and there is no reason to think he is cheating. She could do PI and stuff, but does not feel the need. She is not stupid, though, nor naive. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Tammyla Posted January 4, 2012 Share Posted January 4, 2012 Selective amnesia, still able to continue on with his career and the rest of his life?... I wouldn't buy it. Now, if I wanted to, I'd insist on testing go to the doctor with him and keep a private investigator looking into a possible double life, and an attorney. The attorney, dr. and pi would enable her to better act in the future to protect her family. A double life or extreme disregard for his wife and family, that makes sense. His actions and behavior just don't make sense or sound like amnesia. She really needs to look into preparing for another blow-up and walk out. She sure has a lot on her plate.:grouphug: Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Tammyla Posted January 4, 2012 Share Posted January 4, 2012 How can that be? I mean if he's angry enough not to be coming home for days or months; I'd certainly be concerned with his actions. It is the blow ups he forgets.He does the silent treatment and they are both proid people so that goes on for a while. Until now, hopefully. Money is not a concern. She has access to all documents and there is no reason to think he is cheating. She could do PI and stuff, but does not feel the need. She is not stupid, though, nor naive. Smart women are victims in many marriages:grouphug:. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
melissad2 Posted January 4, 2012 Share Posted January 4, 2012 Selective amnesia, still able to continue on with his career and the rest of his life?... I wouldn't buy it. Now, if I wanted to, I'd insist on testing go to the doctor with him and keep a private investigator looking into a possible double life, and an attorney. The attorney, dr. and pi would enable her to better act in the future to protect her family. A double life or extreme disregard for his wife and family, that makes sense. His actions and behavior just don't make sense or sound like amnesia. She really needs to look into preparing for another blow-up and walk out. She sure has a lot on her plate.:grouphug: :iagree: I don't buy it either...but I am a born skeptic also. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
ktgrok Posted January 4, 2012 Share Posted January 4, 2012 bipolar or other mental illness Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Maria from IN Posted January 4, 2012 Share Posted January 4, 2012 If he really isn't lying, I would have to wonder if he wasn't experiencing some sort of dissociative fugue state. They're very rare, but if you say he's had a traumatic past... Just throwing that out there. :001_smile: Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Mama2Many4 Posted January 4, 2012 Share Posted January 4, 2012 I have Bipolar. Severely. I remember every.single.time. that I act like a b%$^T. I just can't stop myself. With meds, it's manageable. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Osmosis Mom Posted January 4, 2012 Author Share Posted January 4, 2012 If he really isn't lying, I would have to wonder if he wasn't experiencing some sort of dissociative fugue state. They're very rare, but if you say he's had a traumatic past... Just throwing that out there. :001_smile: Sounds interesting. I want to reiterate that he is not playing a game right now. I don't want to be more detailed about their professions, but she is past the deception stage, anger stage and all that and is now for the first time in almost fifteen years of marriage considering that there might be a medical issue going on. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
justasque Posted January 4, 2012 Share Posted January 4, 2012 She will look into testing. Once they went to a counselor and the first thing he told them was to get anger management so you might be onto something there. And did he? Because if he's blowing up, he should be working on that, as a bare minimum. And if he's not, she has some serious decisions to make. Does he not remember the blowing up at all, or is it more that he doesn't realize the impact of his blow up and how it is perceived by his family, and downplays the seriousness of the incident? Honestly, this sounds like a situation where she and maybe her kids could end up dead. I don't say that lightly; I'm not one to read every argument between couples as a dangerous situation. But if he's blowing up and not only not owning the actions but believing that they never happened, and she and the kids are walking on eggshells waiting for the next blow-up, then she would be wise to talk to a professional about domestic violence, whether or not he's ever laid a hand on her. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Starr Posted January 4, 2012 Share Posted January 4, 2012 Very intelligent people can do bad things. This doesn't fit a pattern of amnesia that I remember. It's too selective. If he isn't willing to be worried about it and look for help then I would guess their marriage will remain like this. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
8circles Posted January 4, 2012 Share Posted January 4, 2012 I call BS. Educated, smart people can & are duped all the time. What, exactly, doesn't he remember? The blowing-up part? But he knows that he's ignoring her - why does he think he's ignoring her if he doesn't remember the blow-up? Sorry, it makes no sense. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Osmosis Mom Posted January 4, 2012 Author Share Posted January 4, 2012 I don't recall all her details but it is the blow up itself or the reason for it....There has never been any kind of violence in the marriage whatsoever. Only mutual verbal exchanges and silent treatments and then his thing of staying probably in his office for months. They are talking through things now and he obviously has to agree to do some testing because she can't endure another Cold War. They still love eachother, though. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Unicorn. Posted January 4, 2012 Share Posted January 4, 2012 What he is doing to her is abuse. Giving her the silent treatment for months, but coming by to see the kids, and then claiming not to remember why they were fighting or that he blew up (playing on her emotions, so she will feel bad for him)... all mental and emotional abuse! Just because it hasn't become physical (yet, if ever) doesn't mean she isn't being abused. She is. And the worst part of this abuse is that it is hard to prove, people can't see it, and therefore they don't want to believe her if she mentions it. She will have scars for a lifetime that no one can see. Her children are being taught that it is ok and normal to behave this way, thereby setting her daughters up to be abused, and her sons to be abusers. She needs to stand up for herself and her children, and not allow the abuse to continue. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Osmosis Mom Posted January 4, 2012 Author Share Posted January 4, 2012 Oh, yes, emotional abuse. She knows that. Come on, ladies. I was asking for a brainstorming on what might cause such amnesia on the assumption that he is not lying. Thanks everyone for your amazing help. I might update in a few months and let you know what was concluded. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
dragons in the flower bed Posted January 4, 2012 Share Posted January 4, 2012 A dissociative disorder would cause that. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
gardenmom5 Posted January 4, 2012 Share Posted January 4, 2012 It is the blow ups he forgets.He does the silent treatment and they are both proid people so that goes on for a while. Until now, hopefully. Money is not a concern. She has access to all documents and there is no reason to think he is cheating. She could do PI and stuff, but does not feel the need. She is not stupid, though, nor naive. It makes no sense that he forgets the blow-up, but still engages in silent treatment. if he can't remember the blow-up, why give the silent treatment? what would the motivation be? Unless he really does remember. why would he remember his children, but refuse to speak to his wife? Unless she has checked the actual credit reports in his name, she has no idea if he's opened other accounts with statements mailed to another location. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Stacia Posted January 4, 2012 Share Posted January 4, 2012 The husband would yell, break things, storm out, and then claim to never remember being aggressive. He was later diagnosed as being bi-polar. We still don't know if the "I don't remember" line was a lie or not, but one way or the other, it is getting better now that he is on medication. If they find nothing wrong medically' date=' then he needs anger management counseling at the least.[/quote'] A dissociative disorder would cause that. :iagree: To me, amnesia seems like an incorrect term to describe what's happening...? Maybe a chemical imbalance is causing the problems (excessive rage, ability to selectively 'delete' the rage scenes from his memory)? Psychological counseling seems to be in order, imo. Either way, it doesn't sound good & I'm sorry your friend is going through this. :grouphug: I would appreciate if you update us down the road as to what cause/problem is found, if any. I'm very curious. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Tammyla Posted January 4, 2012 Share Posted January 4, 2012 Due update us. Has she spoken with a medical doctor yet? That would be a really good place to begin. She would be able to give the details, symptoms etc. and maybe the directional advice she's looking for. Oh, yes, emotional abuse. She knows that. Come on, ladies. I was asking for a brainstorming on what might cause such amnesia on the assumption that he is not lying. Thanks everyone for your amazing help. I might update in a few months and let you know what was concluded. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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