Jean in Newcastle Posted November 2, 2011 Share Posted November 2, 2011 This is a recreation of a poll posted in the August 2011 issue of Reader's Digest. I'm just curious as how the Hive would answer. The question is: If you prioritize (and you must for the purposes of this poll!) what should your kids learn first from their parents? The choices are: kindness patriotism respect and obedience sense of humor *There is no other!!!!! You have to choose one as your top priority. (I think most people would choose at least 3 out of 4 of these as things to teach their kids and many would choose all 4.) The article was interesting because different countries had different priorities. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
LisaKinVA Posted November 2, 2011 Share Posted November 2, 2011 I chose respect and obedience...mainly because I feel kindness kind of grows out of respect. Sense of humor? I couldn't teach that if I tried. I don't have one. :lol: Seriously. I don't. (Okay, I do... but you have to know me pretty well to figure it out...dry, wry and completely out of the blue.) Patriotism? People teach that? :001_huh: Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Tigger Posted November 2, 2011 Share Posted November 2, 2011 I chose respect and obedience...mainly because I feel kindness kind of grows out of respect. :iagree: Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Joker Posted November 2, 2011 Share Posted November 2, 2011 I think the first real thing I taught the kiddos was about respecting others ~ manners. I remember older dd, just shy of 18 months, walking in a crowded area. She had to move around one man and said, "Scuse me." I remember thinking she was learning what I was trying to teach her. I also think respecting others leads to kindness. So, I guess it would be respect and obedience with an emphasis on respect. Obedience never seemed to be an issue here. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Jean in Newcastle Posted November 2, 2011 Author Share Posted November 2, 2011 sense of humor :lol: I dunno, the term obedience makes my teeth chatter. It makes me think of dogs giving their paw and sitting for treats. And then patriotism...that's another tricky one. Kindness is important, but sometimes when you aren't feeling like being kind a good sense of humor comes in handy. :D Wendy, you're German, right? (I'm sorry if I remembered incorrectly.) What is funny is that Germans were number one for thinking that sense of humor should be first! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
nono Posted November 2, 2011 Share Posted November 2, 2011 sense of humor So far, I'm the other vote on that one. ;) What I did is think about how I actually teach and live. And, really, no matter what proper answer I might want to give, by my actions, my vote is clearly sense of humor. Jean, please let us know what country fits what after this is done, please! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Embassy Posted November 2, 2011 Share Posted November 2, 2011 Kindness Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
RoughCollie Posted November 2, 2011 Share Posted November 2, 2011 I didn't know kids could be taught to have a sense of humor. Mine do, but I thought that was natural. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Mom-ninja. Posted November 2, 2011 Share Posted November 2, 2011 Wendy, you're German, right? (I'm sorry if I remembered incorrectly.) What is funny is that Germans were number one for thinking that sense of humor should be first! Ha! They are lagging behind their priorities then. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Spy Car Posted November 2, 2011 Share Posted November 2, 2011 Kindness, but I do love a good sense of humor. Bill Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
YourFidgetyFriend Posted November 2, 2011 Share Posted November 2, 2011 I would teach kindness first, although I feel it goes hand in hand with being respectful and considering other people. I'm not all that concerned with the others. Obedience can be important, but curiosity and questioning are as well. A sense of humor develops naturally as long as they are in a family that doesn't take themselves too seriously. Patriotism doesn't rank for me at all beyond the point of a child being comfortable with who they are and where they come from. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
The Girls' Mom Posted November 2, 2011 Share Posted November 2, 2011 Respect and obedience. IMO, it is hard to teach anything else without those. Kindness is a close second. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Farrar Posted November 2, 2011 Share Posted November 2, 2011 I picked kindness because I think those are the first lessons I want to teach and the most fundamental thing to learn... but I think kids are actual capable of learning a sense of humor first. Kindness is a big lesson. Sense of humor is more... organic I think. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
creekland Posted November 2, 2011 Share Posted November 2, 2011 Respect and obedience. IMO, it is hard to teach anything else without those. Kindness is a close second. :iagree: This is my vote too. Humor comes in a close third. Patriotism? Sort of (pros and cons), but way down the list. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Joker Posted November 2, 2011 Share Posted November 2, 2011 Are respect and obedience necessarily related though? One might obey out of fear, not respect. I don't believe in that at all. I agree with you. In my mind respect is more closely related to kindness, not obedience. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Running the race Posted November 2, 2011 Share Posted November 2, 2011 I voted for Respect and Obedience, but I almost voted for kindness. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Impish Posted November 2, 2011 Share Posted November 2, 2011 I voted for Respect and Obedience, but I almost voted for kindness. :iagree: I went with respect and obedience, but was viewing it from a safety perspective. If I tell a child, "No!" or "Stop!" b/c they're about to stick keys into an electrical socket, then yes, it absolutely outranks kindness. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Spy Car Posted November 2, 2011 Share Posted November 2, 2011 Teaching "obedience first" didn't work out so well for God—why do I think I could do better? :D Bill Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Lara in Colo Posted November 2, 2011 Share Posted November 2, 2011 I picked kindness. I think it is something that needs to be taught at an early age so that is is ingrained into the personality. I think that there is a point when kindness cannot be taught, it is too late, I don't think you teach a person be kind to animals once they have learned to be cruel. However, respect and obediance can be taught later--ask any drill sargent. I only voted for one 'cause I was told to--these things should be taught at the same time. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
jillian Posted November 2, 2011 Share Posted November 2, 2011 i said kindness because to me if they are kind then respect is easier to teach. Furthermore, we believe that everyone deserves kindness, not everyone deserves respect if that makes sense. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
mycalling Posted November 2, 2011 Share Posted November 2, 2011 I chose kindness because an infant can learn that. Respect and obedience take a bit more "brainpower." Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Meriwether Posted November 2, 2011 Share Posted November 2, 2011 This is tough. I chose respect and obedience, because I would actively teach it first. Kindness should be taught early, also, but it is mostly modeling early on. I think I actively teach kindness a little later developmentally the obedience. Sense of humor and patriotism are important but fall a little later in active teaching. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Veritaserum Posted November 2, 2011 Share Posted November 2, 2011 Kindness, but I do love a good sense of humor. Bill :iagree: Kindness was my number one, but a sense of humor is also helpful. :) Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
LidiyaDawn Posted November 2, 2011 Share Posted November 2, 2011 i voted for "kindness" :D a sense of humour grows.. i don't think it's taught... "patriotism" isn't important to me at all.. i've never really understood the whole YOU MUST LOVE YOUR COUNTRY thing. *shrug* and i hate the word "obedience"... Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Lovedtodeath Posted November 2, 2011 Share Posted November 2, 2011 I chose kindness, but my kids show me no respect and that seems to be a failing of mine, so :bigear: Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Truscifi Posted November 2, 2011 Share Posted November 2, 2011 I would have voted respect, but not paired with obedience. I think kindness and respect go hand in hand though so I went with that. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Old Dominion Heather Posted November 2, 2011 Share Posted November 2, 2011 I chose sense of humor. I think that part of this is teaching a kid not to take themselves too seriously. Once you don't believe that you are the only important person in the universe, the others follow naturally. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Abigail4476 Posted November 2, 2011 Share Posted November 2, 2011 Kindness. I wouldn't separate kindness and respect, though. They go hand in hand. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest submarines Posted November 2, 2011 Share Posted November 2, 2011 I agree with you. In my mind respect is more closely related to kindness, not obedience. :iagree: Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
staceyobu Posted November 2, 2011 Share Posted November 2, 2011 I chose respect and obedience...mainly because I feel kindness kind of grows out of respect. Sense of humor? I couldn't teach that if I tried. I don't have one. :lol: Seriously. I don't. (Okay, I do... but you have to know me pretty well to figure it out...dry, wry and completely out of the blue.) Patriotism? People teach that? :001_huh: This was my thinking exactly. When I think of interactions with my two year old, it is a lot of "don't hit, don't pinch, don't take his toy away". It's a lot harder to just teach "be kind". I guess I was thinking if you teach respect, kindness easily follows. If you are respectful of others, you are kind to them. If you teach kindness, how do you teach it? My only differing thought is I do think we are teaching our children to be loving by constantly showing them love. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Mjfb Posted November 2, 2011 Share Posted November 2, 2011 I chose kindness, because I do think we (most parents) teach that first- from the time our babies are born. Every time we respond to a cry, change a diaper, or feed our babies cuddled against us, that is what they are learning. But to actually set OUT to teach something, probably respect and obedience. I can't imagine purposely teaching patriotism. Sounds a bit weird to me. And sense of humor imho isn't really something you teach :tongue_smilie: My ds has one similar to mine: an absolute sense of the ridiculous, minus my somewhat dark humor. My dd has one as well, but not in as obvious a way. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
UnsinkableKristen Posted November 2, 2011 Share Posted November 2, 2011 I would teach kindness first, although I feel it goes hand in hand with being respectful and considering other people. :iagree: Although after reading everyone else's replies, I think there are great reasons to pick any of those or all of them (with the exception of patriotism, I will admit. I can't imagine teaching patriotism over kindness...). Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Homemama2 Posted November 2, 2011 Share Posted November 2, 2011 I voted respect and obedience. Once they learn to respect others, kindness and respect for country (patriotism) seems to follow. If you knew some of my relatives, you'd realize a sense of humor unfortunately can't be taught! :lol: Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Cricket Posted November 2, 2011 Share Posted November 2, 2011 I chose sense of humor. I think that part of this is teaching a kid not to take themselves too seriously. Once you don't believe that you are the only important person in the universe, the others follow naturally. That's exactly why I chose respect and obedience. :lol: Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Mommy22alyns Posted November 2, 2011 Share Posted November 2, 2011 I said kindness first. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
regentrude Posted November 2, 2011 Share Posted November 2, 2011 I do not like that respect and obedience are grouped together, because they really have nothing to do with each other. Are you obedient to everybody you respect? I definitely am not and have no wish to be. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Denisemomof4 Posted November 2, 2011 Share Posted November 2, 2011 Kindness. Definitely. Tempted to put sense of humor ;) but no, kindness. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
mommaduck Posted November 2, 2011 Share Posted November 2, 2011 Kindness, because I believe it's the first thing they understand. Respect and obedience come in time. Respect stems off of Kindness. Obedience is subjective (to whom, when to, when not to, etc...sorry, the world is not black and white). Patriotism should be balanced with Reality. That type of understanding comes MUCH later. I no longer believe in blind patriotism. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
catz Posted November 2, 2011 Share Posted November 2, 2011 (edited) I think respect and kindness go together more than respect and obedience. So that's what I would pick! I don't feel like I teach obedience. I respect them so in turn they respect me. Teaching blind obedience to my kids would be a nightmare. They're non-stop questioners and negotiators and social justice "experts". If they understand expectations and why they're in place, we're usually good to go. The key word being usually! I do like myself a good sense of humor though! :D Edited November 2, 2011 by kck Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
MamaT Posted November 2, 2011 Share Posted November 2, 2011 I voted kindness. I'm not sure you can teach someone how to have a sense of humor, although I sure don't like to be around people that are missing one! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Jean in Newcastle Posted November 2, 2011 Author Share Posted November 2, 2011 Are respect and obedience necessarily related though? One might obey out of fear, not respect. I don't believe in that at all. I don't know why the Reader's Digest chose to put those together. I just put the categories they chose. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Jean in Newcastle Posted November 2, 2011 Author Share Posted November 2, 2011 I only voted for one 'cause I was told to--these things should be taught at the same time. How respectful and obedient of you!:D Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Parrothead Posted November 2, 2011 Share Posted November 2, 2011 Sense of humor. We laughed a whole lot when dd was tiny. If it matters we are Americans of Scots-Irish descent. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Farrar Posted November 2, 2011 Share Posted November 2, 2011 No one has chosen patriotism. Was that actually chosen by anyone in the article? Is there some nationality that really wanted that taught right off the bat, Jean? Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
keptwoman Posted November 2, 2011 Share Posted November 2, 2011 I chose respect and obedience...mainly because I feel kindness kind of grows out of respect. Sense of humor? I couldn't teach that if I tried. I don't have one. :lol: Seriously. I don't. (Okay, I do... but you have to know me pretty well to figure it out...dry, wry and completely out of the blue.) Patriotism? People teach that? :001_huh: :iagree: Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Jean in Newcastle Posted November 3, 2011 Author Share Posted November 3, 2011 No one has chosen patriotism. Was that actually chosen by anyone in the article? Is there some nationality that really wanted that taught right off the bat, Jean? Sort of. The Chinese and Russians gave this a higher percentage than any of the other countries. I thought that was extremely interesting given their history. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
8circles Posted November 3, 2011 Share Posted November 3, 2011 I picked kindness. I think it is something that needs to be taught at an early age so that is is ingrained into the personality. I think that there is a point when kindness cannot be taught, it is too late, I don't think you teach a person be kind to animals once they have learned to be cruel. However, respect and obediance can be taught later--ask any drill sargent. :iagree:Kindness. Ideally I would want my kids to be both kind & respectful and obedient when appropriate. But if I could only have one, I'd rather they were kind. If you are kind then respect & obedience (when appropriate) will also be there. However, its possible to be respectful & obedient without being kind - I would never choose this. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
mycalling Posted November 3, 2011 Share Posted November 3, 2011 If you teach kindness, how do you teach it?My babies start to think "mean" things are new and exciting about 6mo old. Pulling my hair, smacking my face, kicking me. These are just new interactions they try, not something they've learned from sibling example or anything. When they start these things I'll teach them to stroke my face with the hand they just hit me with and say what my German Oma used to, "I-ya, i-ya," or "gentle, gentle," and "be nice" while I stroke their forearm and hand. If they've kicked me, I'll stoke their legs and kiss their feet saying the same things. That's always the first experience with teaching kindness, ime. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Iucounu Posted November 3, 2011 Share Posted November 3, 2011 I picked sense of humor, because IMHO it can be taught earlier than the rest. If I believed that a very young child was ready to begin learning all four options at the same age, I would pick kindness, no contest. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Lovedtodeath Posted November 3, 2011 Share Posted November 3, 2011 If you teach kindness, how do you teach it? My only differing thought is I do think we are teaching our children to be loving by constantly showing them love. Love and kindness go hand in hand. I think DD is learning about these by my being grateful of the love and kindness that I am being shown, during a hard time in my life. And I am being shown them. And to all who are... thank you.:grouphug: Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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