Slojo's Homeschool Posted October 11, 2011 Share Posted October 11, 2011 The "heathener" thread made me laugh - and that person deserved whatever response they received. I'm wondering what other malapropisms or mistatements you've heard. Very different situation, but one that has my husband and I still chuckling five years later is an acquaintance of ours who was describing another person she had known who had gotten very, very drunk. She said, "He drunk himself to Bolivia." Again, we knew she was trying to come up with the right phrase, but my husband and I couldn't help but have a private chuckle in the car later because Bolivia is a long way and we couldn't imagine just how many drinks that would take. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Lady Florida. Posted October 11, 2011 Share Posted October 11, 2011 My mom had a friend who was talking about her late FIL's will and said it was "still in escarole". Mom and I laughed for years over that one. Her friend is a lovely lady with a big heart, but always had trouble using words and phrases correctly. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Trresh Posted October 11, 2011 Share Posted October 11, 2011 (edited) I have a friend that was talking about breast cancer running in her family and she kept saying milk duds instead of milk ducts. She must have said it 6 or 7 times. I felt horrible but it was all I could do to keep a straight face. Who am I to talk about anyone else, though....I had to Google malapropisms. Edited October 11, 2011 by Trresh Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Amy1k Posted October 11, 2011 Share Posted October 11, 2011 With Facebook I see this stuff constantly. I had a friend post, "Up and Adam!" the other day. :D Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
SweetMissMagnolia Posted October 11, 2011 Share Posted October 11, 2011 LOL yep-see alot of that on FB too..... Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
GingerPoppy Posted October 11, 2011 Share Posted October 11, 2011 A teen I know, probably 17 or so, was convinced that if something terrible was going wrong, it was "a mercengy. It's a mergency! It's a mergency! :tongue_smilie: I believe she came by it honestly. Her mom talked about something falling down a "clift" and doing the math homework on a "graft." Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
amy g. Posted October 11, 2011 Share Posted October 11, 2011 When my one year old is about to get into trouble, we yell,"baby demolition" to warn the others in the room. My 5 year old says "baby delicious" so now we all say it that way too. People must think we are crazy. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Reeciecup Posted October 11, 2011 Share Posted October 11, 2011 My mom had a friend who was talking about her late FIL's will and said it was "still in escarole". Mom and I laughed for years over that one. Her friend is a lovely lady with a big heart, but always had trouble using words and phrases correctly. I know this should just come to me....but it won't...haha What was the will supposed to be in? (I'm sure the answer will dawn the minute I hit submit :tongue_smilie:) Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
IsabelC Posted October 11, 2011 Share Posted October 11, 2011 I know this should just come to me....but it won't...haha What was the will supposed to be in? (I'm sure the answer will dawn the minute I hit submit :tongue_smilie:) escrow? Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
justamouse Posted October 11, 2011 Share Posted October 11, 2011 My MIL calls the board walk the BROAD walk. And, not intentionally. We :lol: over that one. I'll have to think of the other ones she says-she's loaded with them. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Daisy Posted October 11, 2011 Share Posted October 11, 2011 My kids always say pacific instead of specific. DRIVES ME BATTY. If anyone can think of a way to break that habit, please let me know. ;) Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Amy1k Posted October 11, 2011 Share Posted October 11, 2011 I got in an argument (:rolleyes: @ self) with someone over the validity of the term "sheath" cake. She insisted that's what they are always called. Maybe I'm incorrect, but I've never heard of anything other that a "sheet" cake. :D Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Lucy in Australia Posted October 11, 2011 Share Posted October 11, 2011 We had a show on TV here called "Kath & Kim" that was just full of this. They were very clever with how they used them. The funniest one was when the adult daughter was complaining to her mother that she wanted to be "effluent" (yes, she meant "affluent" ) :lol::lol::lol: Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
ChristusG Posted October 11, 2011 Share Posted October 11, 2011 I've heard "get your goat" instead of "get your goad." I'm like "What goat? I don't have a goat." Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
ThatCyndiGirl Posted October 11, 2011 Share Posted October 11, 2011 My neighbour was talking about a woman we knew who was VERY skinny. (only ate canned corn, nothing else.) Neighbour said, ''I know, she's like, totally emancipated!" :lol: Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Onceuponatime Posted October 11, 2011 Share Posted October 11, 2011 (edited) I've heard "get your goat" instead of "get your goad." I'm like "What goat? I don't have a goat." It is "get your goat." http://www.phrases.org.uk/meanings/get-your-goat.html Edited October 11, 2011 by Onceuponatime Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
FairyMom Posted October 11, 2011 Share Posted October 11, 2011 My neighbour was talking about a woman we knew who was VERY skinny. (only ate canned corn, nothing else.) Neighbour said, ''I know, she's like, totally emancipated!" :lol: :lol: Well, I guess she's "free" of the endless decisions on what to make for supper..... Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Cosmos Posted October 11, 2011 Share Posted October 11, 2011 I have a friend that was talking about breast cancer running in her family and she kept saying milk duds instead of milk ducts. I had a friend post, "Up and Adam!" the other day. :D The funniest one was when the adult daughter was complaining to her mother that she wanted to be "effluent" (yes, she meant "affluent" ) :lol::lol::lol: These are hilarious. :lol: Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
ThatCyndiGirl Posted October 11, 2011 Share Posted October 11, 2011 I've heard "get your goat" instead of "get your goad." I'm like "What goat? I don't have a goat." I've never heard anyone say "get your goad". Where I come from it IS "get your goat". :confused: Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Alessandra Posted October 11, 2011 Share Posted October 11, 2011 Background -- if you are going to visit the Statue of Liberty, you go to Ellis Island first. Ds (young at the time) thought we were going to see the Statue of Elvis. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
LaxMom Posted October 11, 2011 Share Posted October 11, 2011 I used to translate for my idiom-challenged boss in staff meetings. "We're trying to keep this whole department from going to hell in a handbag" <ahem, "handbasket"> "I know I'm b!tching at the chorus here, but..." < :blink: ... ... "oh! 'Preaching to the choir!'"> That was my favorite. :D Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
RegGuheert Posted October 11, 2011 Share Posted October 11, 2011 I've never heard anyone say "get your goad". Where I come from it IS "get your goat". :confused:Same here. They may have said it, but I didn't hear it! :tongue_smilie: But, then again, it seems I tend to misuse "goats" in lots of idioms! One of MomsintheGarden's all-time favorites is that I used to use the term "give up the goats" to mean dying! :lol: I will NEVER live that one down... Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Barry Goldwater Posted October 11, 2011 Share Posted October 11, 2011 I have a client that is a never-ending source of material for this...I store them in my Blackberry... Examples: "Higher Anarchy" instead of 'heirarchy' "allergy" instead of 'algae' The fighting "alumni" in place of the 'University of Illinois FIGHTING ILLINI' <snort> and my alltime favorite, "He's trying to make me the 'escape goat'" instead of 'scapegoat' :lol: well, if someone unfairly puts the blame on you, an escape goat that can spirit you out of there quickly could be handy, I suppose :tongue_smilie: Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Aurelia Posted October 11, 2011 Share Posted October 11, 2011 (edited) A lot of people mix up "ask" and "axe". (As in, "I need to axe you something.") I watched an episode of SNL a few weeks ago where they were doing a stand up comedy spoof in which the comedian said he lived in a ghetto neighborhood and went to the local grocery store and bought a body wash called "Ask". I cracked up laughing. My dad insists the word protein is pronounced "pro-tee-in" and wouldn't accept it when I tried to tell him that everyone else, including my organic chemistry teacher, pronounces it "pro-teen". He also used to tell us to stop "dwaddling" if we were walking too slowly. It bugs me when I see "beyond the pail". The reference is not to go past a bucket. A pale is a fence or border, and the idiom usually refers to someone who is outside the bounds of decency. /end rant :tongue_smilie: Edited October 11, 2011 by Aurelia Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Lady Florida. Posted October 11, 2011 Share Posted October 11, 2011 I know this should just come to me....but it won't...haha What was the will supposed to be in? (I'm sure the answer will dawn the minute I hit submit :tongue_smilie:) It was answered, but since I'm the one who posted - yes, escrow. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Slojo's Homeschool Posted October 11, 2011 Author Share Posted October 11, 2011 This thread is great - thanks everyone for the chuckles. My kids call the Sears Tower in Chicago (I know it's now supposed to some other name) the "Serious Tower." Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Rich with Kids Posted October 11, 2011 Share Posted October 11, 2011 All-timers for Alzheimer's Demencia for Dementia These drive me nuts!!!!! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Oak Knoll Mom Posted October 11, 2011 Share Posted October 11, 2011 All-timers for Alzheimer's or "Old timer's" Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Ellie Posted October 11, 2011 Share Posted October 11, 2011 My dad insists the word protein is pronounced "pro-tee-in" and wouldn't accept it when I tried to tell him that everyone else, including my organic chemistry teacher, pronounces it "pro-teen". In your father's defense, it was pronounced pro-tee-in long ago. :-) Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
mom2jjka Posted October 11, 2011 Share Posted October 11, 2011 My MIL had some crazy ones....that she passed down to DH. :glare: He's had to 'unlearn' them over the years. Instead of: 'Six of one - half dozen of the other' she said 'Six of one three dozen of the other'. And instead of, "Wow, they're really going to town." It was, "Wow, they're really going to house." He also, to this day, cannot pronounce the word ravioli. He says "Raver-oli." (Drives me bonkers.) Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Ellie Posted October 11, 2011 Share Posted October 11, 2011 A friend's wife was notorious for her malapropisms; he kept a little notebook in his pocket to write them down... Like the time they were in the fine china department at Macy's, and the wife was admiring a soup tureen, and she said, "Oh, I've always wanted a soup latrine!" The husband just took out his little notebook and wrote it down. :lol: Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Joyofsixreboot Posted October 11, 2011 Share Posted October 11, 2011 I have a dear friend whom I love but....she's always flustrated. Not flustered. Not frustrated. Flustrated. Drives. Me. Nuts. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Puma Mom Posted October 11, 2011 Share Posted October 11, 2011 My dd butchers phrases so often we call them "Sammie-isms." Trombone!! for Geronimo! Waterfall effect for Trickle Down effect I am totally drawing a blank on the others, but it's a regular thing with her. My brother used to call TP "tissue toilet". To the point that I really had to think about how to say it right. That and "calerpitter". Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
meggie Posted October 11, 2011 Share Posted October 11, 2011 With Facebook I see this stuff constantly. I had a friend post, "Up and Adam!" the other day. :D We must have the same friend ;) My cousin posted the above on his FB the other day and I replied with, "Up and Eve, I'm ready to go!" I'm trying to think of things I've said. The only thing that comes to mind is when I was a teenager, I used to say epitome with a long O and silent E. "Eh-pih-TOHM". My family always made fun of me, the buttheads. :tongue_smilie: Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
LaxMom Posted October 11, 2011 Share Posted October 11, 2011 A friend's wife was notorious for her malapropisms; he kept a little notebook in his pocket to write them down... Like the time they were in the fine china department at Macy's, and the wife was admiring a soup tureen, and she said, "Oh, I've always wanted a soup latrine!" The husband just took out his little notebook and wrote it down. :lol: Ok, but, see, that would be entirely appropriate for a conversation between me and MIL, out antiquing one day. I found this HUGE (as in hundreds) wall of soup tureens. Gorgeous! She comes along while I'm browsing through them - because I've always wanted a soup tureen, too - and points out that they have one handle. Chamber pots! And then she said she would never eat soup at my house again. :lol: But soup latrines would fit perfectly there! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
justamouse Posted October 11, 2011 Share Posted October 11, 2011 All-timers for Alzheimer's Demencia for Dementia These drive me nuts!!!!! That's the other one! Old Timers for Alzheimer. And here my FIL had it and MIL *still* says it wrong. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
FO4UR Posted October 11, 2011 Share Posted October 11, 2011 This one is more of an issue of accent (southern accent meets the midwest)...but my grandma says "like" for "lack." True story: (I'm helping clean the dishes...) Grandma: How much do you like (lack) in there? Me: :001_huh: I like them all...why do you ask?:confused: Grandma: What? You LACK them all...what are you doing??? Me: :001_huh: The dishes. Grandma: Well, how many do you lack (LIKE)? Me: :001_huh: I like them all. They are pretty dishes.:confused: Grandma: walks in and throws her hands up....and the dishes are done... :lol::lol::lol: My kids say pacific instead of specific too. I love to take it literally. "Mom, I pacifically said that I am hungry." I reply, "Really, by boat or plane? That's probably why I didn't hear you...the pacific ocean is across the continent and the human ear cannot hear from that far away." Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Mom in High Heels Posted October 11, 2011 Share Posted October 11, 2011 My kids always say pacific instead of specific. DRIVES ME BATTY. If anyone can think of a way to break that habit, please let me know. ;) Indy says this too. I correct him a hundred times a week. All-timers for Alzheimer's or "Old timer's" Ugh to both of these. James Bond is always asking me how to say it and at first did not believe me that it wasn't All-timers. :001_huh: I've heard "He's a real straight scooter" instead of straight shooter. :confused: My mom says sheriff "sure if." Ack. My grandfather (her father) used to say clemmed (short e sound) for climbed. "He clemmed that tree faster 'n a cat on fire." I don't know what that means. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
ThatCyndiGirl Posted October 11, 2011 Share Posted October 11, 2011 Lymes Disease. :glare: Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Ellie Posted October 11, 2011 Share Posted October 11, 2011 Ok, but, see, that would be entirely appropriate for a conversation between me and MIL, out antiquing one day. I found this HUGE (as in hundreds) wall of soup tureens. Gorgeous! She comes along while I'm browsing through them - because I've always wanted a soup tureen, too - and points out that they have one handle. Chamber pots! And then she said she would never eat soup at my house again. :lol: But soup latrines would fit perfectly there! :lol::lol::lol: Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Kareni Posted October 25, 2011 Share Posted October 25, 2011 I've heard 'pronunciate' more than once. Regards, Kareni Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
chepyl Posted October 25, 2011 Share Posted October 25, 2011 My cousin posted the following under a picture of her son on FB the other day: My knight AND shining armor! instead of My knight IN shining armor! My two favorite from my kids involve the same word: DS has always called tortillas - torkatillas! He has recently stopped, and I wanted to cry :crying: DD calls her cousin - Sophia - Tortilla! One day we were in the balcony of the theatre, getting ready for a rehearsal. DD hears her cousin downstairs and starts yelling: "My tortilla, my tortilla!!!" We were o confused until she ran to the elevator and then to her cousin "Tortilla." She knows how to say her name now, but we all made such a big deal about how cute it is that if you ask her to say Sophia, she will say - Tortilla - and smile really big!:D Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
ThatCyndiGirl Posted October 25, 2011 Share Posted October 25, 2011 I've heard 'pronunciate' more than once. When I attempted to correct my SIL after she used this 'word' and said that it is 'enunciate' she informed me, fully of haughty self-righteousness, "Honey, there is no such word as enuciate!" :001_huh: (She married my brother when I was 12 years old. I think that she still thinks of me as the stupid little sister of her husband. Ooooookay.) Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
kalanamak Posted October 25, 2011 Share Posted October 25, 2011 When I was 10 or so, and the SDS was in the news, I thought euthanasia was a communist group of college students in India. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
MHowell Posted October 25, 2011 Share Posted October 25, 2011 D has a lot of them. The most memorable is 'tending'. As in, "Mommy, I'm not really a doctor- I'm just tending!" Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Grover Posted October 25, 2011 Share Posted October 25, 2011 My mother insists it's prostrate cancer. It raises an interesting mental image. She will not be corrected. I had a good friend at school who was dreadful at this - I always thought it was because she didn't read, so didn't know she's misheard things. Two that stuck in my head were her saying someone got "all dulled up" to go out, and that someone was a "real cop-case". Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Bug's Mom Posted October 25, 2011 Share Posted October 25, 2011 Two different moms I "know" on message boards have used this phrase when referring to a neighbor: "the girl next store".... When dh & I owned our guitar shop, there was a woman (very nice) who would stop in regularly as her young daughter was taking lessons from someone at our shop. The girl had been taking violin lessons, but didn't like it. They went to Branson for vacation and she saw some fiddle player (can't remember who) and she (the girl) was inspired to play like that. The mom said "He was so good that the crowd gave him a standing ovulation!" The same woman (gotta love her) was telling us about the Three Tenors (Plácido Domingo, José Carreras, and Luciano Pavarotti) and how much she liked "Placenta Dominguez". Last one...my friend had her son (age 11) in the delivery room when she had her last baby. Their first meal after she was home included polenta. When her son was done eating (but hadn't eaten everything on his plate) he thought to ask if anyone wanted it before he threw it out. His words? "Does anyone want this placenta?" Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
OnTheBrink Posted October 25, 2011 Share Posted October 25, 2011 My kids always say pacific instead of specific. DRIVES ME BATTY. If anyone can think of a way to break that habit, please let me know. ;) Throw salt water on them. Then say, "THAT'S the pacific. Is that what you meant?" If you want San Diego/Mexican border authenticity, throw a few used syringes and some icky seaweed in with it. :lol: I had a roommate once who would say, "Well, Heigh Ho Hitler" when she felt she was being bossed around. A coworker was showing me something on the computer and kept saying I needed to click on the eclipse button, but she meant the ellipsis button. I'll never forget this one; it made me laugh out loud for days. Several years ago, there was a "reality" show called Joe Millionaire. They were getting toward the end of the season and they asked one of the contestants what she'd do with all the riches Joe allegedly had. Her answer was, " Oh, I'd like to be a mercenary and go to Africa and wash dirty children." :lol: Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Bug's Mom Posted October 25, 2011 Share Posted October 25, 2011 Our ancient neighbor across the road used bellignorant once. I thought it a lovely word: belligerent and ignorant all in one. They do often go together! This is a great thread. :lol: Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
silliness7 Posted October 25, 2011 Share Posted October 25, 2011 My MIL had some crazy ones....that she passed down to DH. :glare:He's had to 'unlearn' them over the years. Instead of: 'Six of one - half dozen of the other' she said 'Six of one three dozen of the other'. And instead of, "Wow, they're really going to town." It was, "Wow, they're really going to house." He also, to this day, cannot pronounce the word ravioli. He says "Raver-oli." (Drives me bonkers.) Oh dear. My dh says things wrong on purpose (and out of habit) just to be funny. I get his humor but I wonder if the kids will grow up thinking that it's correct and not a joke. I'll have to make make it a point to point out his jokes from now on. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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