Profanity?

[tntgoodwin]

What are your thoughts on profanity?

 

Me:

1. They are just words. Words have appropriate and inappropriate times and places to be used. Using an expletive in a situation that warrants it is ok. Riddling your speech with it shows ignorance to me.

2. IMO, that time and place is not around children, and generally not around ladies. And it bugs me when others use it in those situations.

3. A female that uses excessive profanity isn't classy, or "lady-like" to me.

4. Heck, crap, darn, etc don't really count in my view. I do understand why some have a problem with them.

5. The only word that offends me is G**d***, unless used in a literal sense of eternal ****ation.

 

Simon: I swear... when it's appropriate.

Kaylee: Simon, the whole point of swearing is that it ain't appropriate.

Edited September 16, 2011 by tntgoodwin

[Happy]

Can't stand 'em. I think they are a crutch for the lazy 'conversationalist' and a bad habit. You never know who is going to be offended by profanity so it's best to just not use it at all.

 

I get so tired of hearing foul words in real life, on TV, and in movies.

 

I agree that heck, darn, and such are not as bad, but they, too, are lazy words....and I use them... :tongue_smilie:

[Ria]

Hmmm....guess you missed this thread....

 

http://www.welltrainedmind.com/forums/showthread.php?t=310511

[swellmomma]

Do a search, we have had a few threads on this very topic this week

[greenvneck]

Dh says I must have a sailor living in my mouth, though I have been trying to be more circumspect now that the youngers are acting horrified every time an expletive escapes. I *think* I've cut down, maybe to only swearing 30ish times a day? And I try to not do it in front of children, but sometimes it happens.

 

If I had to choose my view from one of yours, mine would be closest to #1. My kids know that as they get older they can swear in context, and my teenagers do, but not to an obnoxious extent. Honestly, among my friends, obscenities fly quickly and often; not when kids are around, but when we are by ourselves? Hell, yes! :lol:

[stripe]

3. A female that uses excessive profanity isn't classy, or "lady-like" to me.

A male who uses excessive profanity isn't classy or manly to me, for that matter. Especially when it's always about his body parts and what he does with them.

[Melissa in Australia]

My personal views are that using any profanity is demonstrating that you have a lack of self control.

 

I don't use any , my DH doesn't use any ( though occasionally he will say he is really pissed off) , my children don't use any.

[Mommyfaithe]

Well, I am originally from Brooklyn, and my native language is Profanity. Lol.

 

I have trained myself not to speak that language anymore. I still let one fly now and again....but, I find it crass, and somewhat stupid.

 

I am not hung up on expressive language....however, I try to find better waysbof expressing myself. :001_smile:

Faithe

[eewaggie99]

Can't stand it. I'm guilty of occasionally cursing while driving, but I've cut back because it bothers me when others do it. I wouldn't say anything to an adult unless they were speaking directly to me. However, I have said something when I'm around young children if they're at my house or under my care. Basically, "do you sound nice when you use words like that? Noooo." (dragged out for effect). I wouldn't repeat curse words in front of a child not my own.

[kalanamak]

I swear about twice a year. To make a point.

 

I do, however, quote people swearing every day. I have to enter a "chief complaint" in my notes, and I hear bad words every day.

[Tangerine]

You said that swearing excessively is unappealing to you. So, it's just extra unappealing if it's a woman? Why make a distinction? Is it really worse if a woman swears?

Edited September 17, 2011 by Tangerine

[Truscifi]

I agree with you for the most part, though I find excessive swearing equally unappealing in men and women.

[Parrothead]

What are your thoughts on profanity?

 

Me:

1. They are just words. Words have appropriate and inappropriate times and places to be used. Using an expletive in a situation that warrants it is ok. Riddling your speech with it shows ignorance to me.

2. IMO, that time and place is not around children, and generally not around ladies. And it bugs me when others use it in those situations.

3. A female that uses excessive profanity isn't classy, or "lady-like" to me.

4. Heck, crap, darn, etc don't really count in my view. I do understand why some have a problem with them.

5. The only word that offends me is G**d***, unless used in a literal sense of eternal ****ation.

:iagree: I have to add the F-word. That one makes my ears bleed.

Can't stand 'em. I think they are a crutch for the lazy 'conversationalist' and a bad habit. You never know who is going to be offended by profanity so it's best to just not use it at all.

 

I get so tired of hearing foul words in real life, on TV, and in movies.

 

I agree that heck, darn, and such are not as bad, but they, too, are lazy words....and I use them... :tongue_smilie:

:iagree: I use slightly stronger than heck, darn and shoot. Generally only when I'm by myself though. Every once in a while the word jack@$$ slips out when I'm in traffic.

[Just Robyn]

I don't find swearing stupid or lazy. When I use it, it is intentional. It serves a particular purpose; it is not due to my lack of knowledge of other words that exist. I chose to say @#$% because I believe that word is better for this occasion than all the stuck up words you or I could come up with.

 

I find people who don't swear stuffy, probably boring, easily offended.

 

Of course there is a time and place for swearing. I don't think it's okay to swear in front of children, in front of relatives who are your elders, or in a place of worship. I'm sure there are other occasions that are not coming to mind. I don't swear in front of strangers because I just assume they are stuffy.

 

I get tired of hearing swear words on TV, in music, etc. because I'd prefer to have more options of media I can enjoy with my children.

[MSNative]

You said that swearing excessively is unappealing to you. So, it's just extra unappealing if it's a woman? Why make a distinction? Is it really worse if a woman swears?

 

Hmm, I hadn't thought about this til you brought it up but for some reason it does bug me (not the OP) more if a woman cusses like a sailor than if a man does. But I also hate it more when men cuss in front of women than vice versa. Ah, the double standards I will now have to ponder...

[Ria]

I don't find swearing stupid or lazy. When I use it, it is intentional. It serves a particular purpose; it is not due to my lack of knowledge of other words that exist.

 

Yup. English major agreeing with you. :D

[simka2]

I will share a funny story. Dh had never cussed in his life. He was a Pastor he just DID. NOT. DO. THAT!!!!!

 

Well after going through ministry hell and surviving it to reach the other side. And after many great counseling sessions, I cannot tell you how proud I was the first time he said, "Wow! What the f*ck were they thinking!"

 

To this day he maybe cusses 5 times a year, but it is still music to my ears!!!!! :D

[Runningmom80]

I love to swear. It's so liberating. I also have a BA in creative writing, so I can assure you it's not for lack of words. :lol:

 

 

 

I try very hard not to swear in front of my kids, but every once in a while a word will slip out. My ds knows that swearing is wrong, and always corrects me. I realize this isnt the perfect way to parent. I try my best, because I do hope to raise contributing, respected members of society, not Jersey Shore cast members. :D

[Melissa in Australia]

I find people who don't swear stuffy, probably boring, easily offended.

 

.

 

I am probably in your eyes stuffy and boring. But in my eyes people who swear drop lower and lower in my opinions in proportion to how often they swear.

[IsabelC]

My thoughts:

 

Yes, they are just words, and a word can't be inherently 'bad'. However, words do carry tremendous significance in our culture. Uttering a word can change reality, for example a person isn't married, or baptized, until the authorized person has said the requisite words.

 

I don't personally feel offended by 'bad' words. The other day, the son of a friend of mine called me "you f*ckin' b*tch", and I wasn't particularly hurt or angry, and there wasn't any 'issue' to discuss with his mother. It was just a little boy expressing his annoyance at something I did (I didn't allow him to kick his sister). But, it's not really relevant that the words don't bother me or my friends. Words are there to communicate with others, so the relevant point is how those others feel. If the word 'enchilada' is offensive to you, it would be respectful for me not to constantly use it in your presence. Hence it is safer not to rely on words that large numbers of people find offensive for one's everyday conversation.

 

It's also somewhat boring to rely on a few words to express all our feelings. Sure, some people swear for a purpose, but to me, using f*ck or sh*t in just about every sentence actually sounds bland, rather like people who call everything they like 'nice', or 'cool', or peppering their sentences with 'like' ("Yanno, it was like, really, like, nice, how that nice person like gave me all those nice things, like...") Why not try to utilize more of the richness of expression offered in our language?

 

Blasphemy, while extremely common, isn't ever necessary or appropriate. Religious people are happier if they don't use it, and non religious people have no business using the name of a deity they don't believe in to show irritation, excitement or whatever. (And likewise, why use these phrases when it's more fun, as well as less likely to offend, to use less common ones - "Blithering beetroot!" is one of our favorites - or even make up your own sayings.)

 

As a feminist, I will defend my right to use any word that men can use. But usually I choose not to use those words, for the reasons above. My kids haven't starting on swearing as yet. Sometimes they say "goodness gracious Grandma!". The worst things I say in their hearing are usually 'crap' and 'bugger' in a semi French accent, comes out like 'boo-zher' (can't type it quite accurately without phonetic letters).

Edited September 17, 2011 by Hotdrink

[Desert Rat]

I don't find swearing stupid or lazy. When I use it, it is intentional. It serves a particular purpose; it is not due to my lack of knowledge of other words that exist. I chose to say @#$% because I believe that word is better for this occasion than all the stuck up words you or I could come up with.

 

I find people who don't swear stuffy, probably boring, easily offended.

 

Of course there is a time and place for swearing. I don't think it's okay to swear in front of children, in front of relatives who are your elders, or in a place of worship. I'm sure there are other occasions that are not coming to mind. I don't swear in front of strangers because I just assume they are stuffy.

 

I get tired of hearing swear words on TV, in music, etc. because I'd prefer to have more options of media I can enjoy with my children.

 

:iagree: Another English major agreeing with you. We've switched to British swears. My grandmother isnt so fond of it (being from England) but it suits us just fine.

 

I'm firmly in the "their just words" camp.

[gardenmom5]

We do not use profanity. It displays a glaring lack of vocabulary and inadequate command of language in that you must use vulgar terms to express something. It also means you are much more imprecise in terms you choose to convey your thoughts. In short, those who rely upon profanity overmuch send a messge to whomever they are speaking that they are "uneducated".

 

dh has a motto (that has hoist him on occassion). One must be precise.

 

(this is OT/ but pertinent) I loved David Niven's comment on the streaker who raced across the stage when he was hosting the academy awards - some people insist on showing off their lack of assets.

[BeautifulLife]

What are your thoughts on profanity?

 

Me:

1. They are just words. Words have appropriate and inappropriate times and places to be used. Using an expletive in a situation that warrants it is ok. Riddling your speech with it shows ignorance to me.

2. IMO, that time and place is not around children, and generally not around ladies. And it bugs me when others use it in those situations.

3. A female that uses excessive profanity isn't classy, or "lady-like" to me.

4. Heck, crap, darn, etc don't really count in my view. I do understand why some have a problem with them.

5. The only word that offends me is G**d***, unless used in a literal sense of eternal ****ation.

 

Actually, I agree with most everything you said - especially the words in bold. My DH doesn't use profanity, but a lot of the guys he works with do (he's in the Navy). It doesn't bother me to hear it. Now my son's football coaches.... well, I'd prefer them to watch their language around the kids.

[Daisy]

These profanity threads have definitely taught me something. Up until this time I figured people swore for one of two possible reasons...

 

1. It is a bad habit they can't break.

2. They feel rebellious and don't care that they are offending others.

 

This is the first time I've ever met people who make the active choice to swear. I still don't really understand why though. :confused:

[simka2]

These profanity threads have definitely taught me something. Up until this time I figured people swore for one of two possible reasons...

 

1. It is a bad habit they can't break.

2. They feel rebellious and don't care that they are offending others.

 

This is the first time I've ever met people who make the active choice to swear. I still don't really understand why though. :confused:

 

 

I have thought a bit about this. Sometimes there just isn't a better word. IMO. :D I am wanting a word that is a reflection of the situation. Crass, crude, and inflammatory.

 

For example when I have been subjected to a woman who is a real witch (okay not REAL witch ;)), but even a step beyond that what should I use? I really do not want the word to be to sophisticated, because she just isn't worth it (not her worth as a person :tongue_smilie:).

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

i

[Nakia]

I've recently cut back to only 12 swear words per day.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

:lol:

Edited September 17, 2011 by Nakia

[kalanamak]

 

This is the first time I've ever met people who make the active choice to swear. I still don't really understand why though. :confused:

 

Words are only one of man's tools. I reserve the right to use any tool that does not actually harm someone. A rare and well-chosen swear word is a terrific way to get everyone's attention. If you almost never swear, then when you do, it gets the intensity across.

 

I don't swear much because it then loses its punch (it was also not the way I learned to speak as a child, so it isn't "natural" for me). Frequent cussing is sloppy and uselessly crass.

 

And, well, yes, sometimes I don't mind offending people. Sometimes people are very offensive and need a yank on their chain. I had an intern working under me who was a lazy liar. When he started putting patients in danger, I tried a variety of methods. It was my job to make sure people were safe. I let him borrow some equipment and warned him it had to be back up in the ICU in 15 minutes. 20 minutes later, I paged him and told him to get up there post-haste. I got a snide response, I shouted, and he said, "take it easy, lady". My reply, just before I hung, was carefully worded to get through his sexist, pea-brained skull: I'm no lady, I'm the ****ed chief. I got my equipment. Now then, would you prefer an ICU without the equipment and a non-swearing, or the swearing and the equipment?

Edited September 17, 2011 by kalanamak
spelling

[tntgoodwin]

You said that swearing excessively is unappealing to you. So, it's just extra unappealing if it's a woman? Why make a distinction? Is it really worse if a woman swears?

 

To me, yes, it is worse if it is a woman. I am not sure why I feel this way.

 

:iagree: Another English major agreeing with you. We've switched to British swears. My grandmother isnt so fond of it (being from England) but it suits us just fine.

 

I'm firmly in the "their just words" camp.

 

LOL :D

 

 

And just to clarify, in the OP, I wasn't listing choices, I was just listing my feelings on the subject. Not really sure why I numbered the list.

[Liz CA]

Interesting. I always thought I can avail myself of other language to express my disapproval.

[SKL]

I agree that swearing isn't sophisticated. However, I don't always want to sound sophisticated.

 

Sometimes when given a choice, rather than:

 

"That individual could have used some home training in the areas of consideration, respect, and politeness, and also some ability to examine himself"

 

I find it more impactful and efficient to say:

 

"What an a$$hole."

 

But, I'd only say it around people who know me well and understand that indeed, it's not because I can't think of a more intelligent way to phrase it.

 

There are also times when I utter a profanity as sort of a reflex. This occurs rarely, and I don't apologize for it. It's not like I "decided" to exclaim "Oh, F---" when my very conservative, elderly boss walked in at the moment I had spilled my coffee all over myself.

 

I dated a guy who had recently lived in New York. He used the F word for punctuation all day long. I never mentioned it, but it bugged me. It sounded stupid and felt disrespectful.

 

Then again, when my friend from India first moved here, she asked me why Americans use "F---" so often; she found it quite offensive. So I asked her, how is that different from the fact that you use "Sh--" just as often?" She thought for a moment, then said, "I guess in India people see sh--ting everywhere they go, while in the US people are F---ing everywhere." I've known her for decades now, and I still don't think I've heard her say F--- except in response to another person saying it.

 

Another fun story - my mom used to swear like a sailor, and my dad was trying to break her of that habit. "Do you kiss your children with that mouth?" One day my mom blurted out a profanity and my dad said, "the next time you swear, I'm going to stick you with a pin." To which my mom replied, "F--- you." So my dad got a pin and came after her, and in the process he bumped and broke his toe. That'll teach him! It was funny, but I'm pretty sure you had to be there. (It would have been a better story if he'd cussed in pain, but he didn't.)

 

So I don't take private swearing too seriously, but I do believe it's disrespectful in public. And it can be disrespectful in private, depending on how it's used. I don't mind kids hearing it, as long as they have the ability to understand when it shouldn't be used. I don't like kids swearing, because it's disrespectful to swear in front of an authority figure, in my opinion.

[Audrey]

It's not classy or intelligent to use in public conversation and of course not professionally. I've no problem with swearing when the situation truly warrants it. A private conversation is a different matter. There are some people in my life who cannot be accurately referred to without an expletive. Thankfully, I don't need to refer to them very much.

 

I don't get my panties in a wad when people cuss, though. I expect professional behaviour at work, but I expect that people will be very casual elsewhere. For some people the cussing gets in the way of understanding what they are trying to say. That's annoying, but it doesn't really offend me.

 

FWIW, my dad was in the Navy, and he really swore like the proverbial sailor. I've heard cusses that would blister the ears of many. The cusses I hear most frequently from other people, like f*** and sh**? They're just meh.

[Audrey]

Words are only one of man's tools. I reserve the right to use any tool that does not actually harm someone. A rare and well-chosen swear word is a terrific way to get everyone's attention. If you almost never swear, then when you do, it gets the intensity across.

 

I don't swear much because it then loses its punch (it was also not the way I learned to speak as a child, so it isn't "natural" for me). Frequent cussing is sloppy and uselessly crass.

 

 

 

:iagree: I don't swear much actually (believe it or not). When I do it's because you've just pushed me too far. Usually when I get mad, I go all Southern on the poor sod's sorry little butt. That doesn't involve swearing.

 

If I swear at you, it's because you really deserved it. The last person I told to f*** off was a drunk at my father's funeral reception who was hitting on me in front of all my family. I didn't really feel he was worthy of a proper Southern smack-down. "F*** off," was most appropriate, IMO.

[GWOB]

How do I feel about swearing?

 

My Dad was a Sailor. I was a Sailor. My dh was a Sailor. I love Sailors;).

 

Dh and I were both nukes. We both have college degrees. We are both semi well-educated.

 

I love a colorfully-turned phrase. Sometimes, an f-bomb is totally needed. I really don't give a flying pig's arse if some random guy thinks I'm trashy if I drop an occasional f-bomb. That f-bomb will most likely be accompanied by a creative phrase. Gender stereotypes bore me and are frankly more offensive to me than an occasional cuss. We all need a good cuss every now and then.

 

Now, I don't think every other word should be obscene. I don't think all women should be referred to as b-words. But ya know something? Some people (not just women) really do deserve the title of b-word. If the shoe fits....

[GWOB]

I've recently cut back to only 12 swear words per day.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

:lol:

 

You+me= freaky, cussing awesomeness!

 

Won't you be my neighbor? Puh-lease?

[IsabelC]

The last person I told to f*** off was a drunk at my father's funeral reception who was hitting on me in front of all my family. I didn't really feel he was worthy of a proper Southern smack-down. "F*** off," was most appropriate, IMO.

Abso-firetruckin'-lutely!

[GWOB]

:iagree: I don't swear much actually (believe it or not). When I do it's because you've just pushed me too far. Usually when I get mad, I go all Southern on the poor sod's sorry little butt. That doesn't involve swearing.

 

If I swear at you, it's because you really deserved it. The last person I told to f*** off was a drunk at my father's funeral reception who was hitting on me in front of all my family. I didn't really feel he was worthy of a proper Southern smack-down. "F*** off," was most appropriate, IMO.

 

You+me+Nakia= a whole lotta Southern cussing awesomeness!

[Hannah]

"That individual could have used some home training in the areas of consideration, respect, and politeness, and also some ability to examine himself"

 

That sentence would probably have more effect than the swearing at work! :lol:

 

Here's an intersting article on an experiment done by Timothy Jay showing that swearing helps ease pain.

I see that when the preasure is on at work the amount of swearing (and coffee consumption) definitely increases. And I have to admit to joining in as well.

[Runningmom80]

That sentence would probably have more effect than the swearing at work! :lol:

 

Here's an intersting article on an experiment done by Timothy Jay showing that swearing helps ease pain.

I see that when the preasure is on at work the amount of swearing (and coffee consumption) definitely increases. And I have to admit to joining in as well.

 

I read that article a week or two ago! It did make me feel better about those littl incidents when I run into a baby gate at 2am, and say something I'm not supposed to. :lol:

[NanceXToo]

I curse a lot- casually. Particularly in front of my spouse and close friends and close acquaintances and family members who I know aren't bothered by that and/or do it, too. Sometimes they have a purpose, other times they are just sort of exclamatory.

 

I don't do it around people I don't know well, other peoples' children, or in any sort of formal or professional setting.

 

I'm neither stupid nor lacking in vocabulary, it's just sort of a habit I've had since my teens and part of my casual attitude, I guess.

 

People who would be easily offended by it likely wouldn't be the kind of people I'd be close enough to to do it in front of anyway. :P If i curse in front of you, I probably like you lol.

 

And as for men with sexist or double standards.... Yeah, uh, shrug. :P

[mytwomonkeys]

we don't use curse words at all here (but i think referring to us as stuffy because of it is ridiculous). honestly, i have cursed enough in my early years to last 12 lifetimes over. i'm fine without them.

[jenangelcat]

Me:

1. They are just words. Words have appropriate and inappropriate times and places to be used. Using an expletive in a situation that warrants it is ok. Riddling your speech with it shows ignorance to me. I agree with all except the last statement.

 

2. IMO, that time and place is not around children, and generally not around ladies. And it bugs me when others use it in those situations. I disagree. I try not to swear around kids because other people don't like it but I don't feel they need to be shielded from something I don't think is wrong. Also "don't swear around ladies" is so insulting. I'm not a flower who will wilt if you swear just because I have different reproductive organs.

3. A female that uses excessive profanity isn't classy, or "lady-like" to me. Like I said above. In addition to be anti-woman, the statement is a bit classist imo.

4. Heck, crap, darn, etc don't really count in my view. I do understand why some have a problem with them. I don't understand the problem with them. They are words that mean exactly what the word they are replacing means.

5. The only word that offends me is G**d***, unless used in a literal sense of eternal ****ation.Doesn't bother me. I'm not religious.

[bluechicken]

DH is terrible with profanity. I use it more than I should and that is just recently that I started using it. To me, it's not that big of a deal. I don't use it in social gatherings or public. They are just words. I guess I am pretty relaxed. :)

[Joanne]

I no longer believe that words are always "just words".

 

Words such as thank you, awesome, Really?, please, good job!, can be powerful and life-changing.

 

Swear words can have power, too, and IMO that power is diluted with frequent use.

 

I've been *literally* hurt by words; I will not discount their power.

[Lovedtodeath]

I no longer believe that words are always "just words".

 

Words such as thank you, awesome, Really?, please, good job!, can be powerful and life-changing.

 

Swear words can have power, too, and IMO that power is diluted with frequent use.

 

I've been *literally* hurt by words; I will not discount their power.

Joanne, I was waiting for a post that would mean something to me. You are very classy!

[eewaggie99]

I no longer believe that words are always "just words".

 

Words such as thank you, awesome, Really?, please, good job!, can be powerful and life-changing.

 

Swear words can have power, too, and IMO that power is diluted with frequent use.

 

I've been *literally* hurt by words; I will not discount their power.

 

I absolutely agree! If someone on this board were to call their own child these profane names, even if spoken in a loving tone, I think a vast majority would agree it's verbal abuse. Words aren't just words.

[Nakia]

You+me= freaky, cussing awesomeness!

 

Won't you be my neighbor? Puh-lease?

 

You+me+Nakia= a whole lotta Southern cussing awesomeness!

 

:lol:

[DawnM]

When I worked in public high school I pretty much became immune to it, however, they are kids.

 

What I HATE is hearing it from someone in a professional job who is trying to sell me something!

 

I called to get some info on a refi and the loan officer said "Oh, what that other guy told you is a bunch of sh**."

 

I didn't use him!

[IsabelC]

Also "don't swear around ladies" is so insulting. I'm not a flower who will wilt if you swear just because I have different reproductive organs.

:iagree:I rarely swear, but when somebody pulls the 'curb your language, ladies present' stunt, my inner child (or is that inner wild woman) wants to start screaming obscenities at them. (I don't, of course. I just bite my tongue and remember that they are trying to be respectful.)

[FiveOaksAcademy]

Myself? When I hear someone speak or see someone write profanity, I immediately, knee-jerk, assume they aren't bright enough to come up with an intelligent way to express themselves.

[FiveOaksAcademy]

I am probably in your eyes stuffy and boring. But in my eyes people who swear drop lower and lower in my opinions in proportion to how often they swear.

 

:iagree: This!!!