Ria Posted August 1, 2011 Share Posted August 1, 2011 We had some couples over for dinner a short while ago, and I had showed them the new lens for my dslr camera my dh had given me for my birthday. It's a good camera (Nikon D90) and a really good lens. Anyway, I put the camera away and went into the kitchen to start getting dinner on the table. I looked up and there was one of the women - with my camera in hand - and she took a picture! I was dumbfounded. I mean, she got my camera from where I had put it, and walked into another room and took a picture, all without so much as saying a word to me. I talked to dh about this later to see if he found it odd and he said yes, it seemed as though she didn't respect that you just don't do that. I could understand her looking at the camera, but to carry it to another location and actually use it? Wow. Am I out of line, or do you think this was a bit over the top? Ria Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
rafiki Posted August 1, 2011 Share Posted August 1, 2011 . Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Mama Geek Posted August 1, 2011 Share Posted August 1, 2011 I wouldn't find it particularly strange especially if they are people that would like to take pictures. I have a D80 and several lenses and unless it was a kid it wouldn't be a big deal. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Ria Posted August 1, 2011 Author Share Posted August 1, 2011 The funny thing about this is that I had said to dh before they came over that perhaps I should put the camera way out of reach so the young children couldn't get it. It never once occurred to me that an adult would go after it! Ria Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
LaxMom Posted August 1, 2011 Share Posted August 1, 2011 I can see if you had offered it to her, but to go get it and then use it without asking? Not something I would do. Yes, particularly the "go get it" part. If you were all looking at it, left it on the coffee table and walked into the kitchen, my friends might have grabbed it and shot a picture of you. But put away? No, that is a clear sign. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Shelly in IL Posted August 1, 2011 Share Posted August 1, 2011 I think that after it was shown, and it was put away, that should have been the end of it. Huge invasion of your space! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
mrs.m Posted August 1, 2011 Share Posted August 1, 2011 That was odd to not even ask before picking something so expensive up. But there was no harm done, correct? If they come over again, keep the camera in your bedroom closet. ;) Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
TheAutumnOak Posted August 1, 2011 Share Posted August 1, 2011 No, I wouldn't touch someone's camera...A book off a living room shelf maybe, but not something like that ;) Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
kitten18 Posted August 1, 2011 Share Posted August 1, 2011 Yes, particularly the "go get it" part. If you were all looking at it, left it on the coffee table and walked into the kitchen, my friends might have grabbed it and shot a picture of you. But put away? No, that is a clear sign. :iagree: Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Rebecca VA Posted August 1, 2011 Share Posted August 1, 2011 Definitely weird. She shouldn't have handled the camera at all without permission. I would have given her a look of horror and put the camera away without saying a word about it. Years ago I had a fellow Navy wife friend come over to spend the day, and she stole some of my stuff! I caught her stuffing it into her backpack. When I said something about it, she said she was just borrowing it, but then she never gave it back. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Parrothead Posted August 1, 2011 Share Posted August 1, 2011 Yeah, I'm with the others. Something strange going on there. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
hsmom23 Posted August 1, 2011 Share Posted August 1, 2011 I wouldn't touch something that nice at someones house unless given permission, but at the same time, it probably wouldn't bother me if someone else did at my house. In general I am pretty open about my own material things, to me they are just material things, but I respect that others may not be that way. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Jackie in AR Posted August 1, 2011 Share Posted August 1, 2011 No, I wouldn't touch someone's camera...A book off a living room shelf maybe, but not something like that ;) :iagree: Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
eternalknot Posted August 1, 2011 Share Posted August 1, 2011 I can see why it would bother you, and I don't think you're out of line ... but ... if it were me, it wouldn't seem really odd or out of place. It might give me cause to pause while it registered, but it wouldn't really bother me. The camera was a topic of conversation. There were multiple couples around. She might have been curious at the time of show-and-tell, but unable to grab an opening to ask if she could see it. She saw where you keep it (and maybe thought this is where you "keep" it as opposed to this is where you are "putting it away for the night") and -depending on where that was- didn't see the harm in retrieving it to test out. Through her eyes, perhaps she saw an opening to test it out when you put it away to "finish up dinner" (again, as opposed to ending show-and-tell, full stop). Definitely presumptious on her end, but not necessarily over the top IMO if that was her thought process and she's generally me-oriented with her curiousity! But, no, to answer your original question I don't think you're out of line for feeling ... I guess, violated? ... that someone would paw your possessions like that. Her asking first would have been nice, and definitely appropriate. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
elegantlion Posted August 1, 2011 Share Posted August 1, 2011 Yes, particularly the "go get it" part. If you were all looking at it, left it on the coffee table and walked into the kitchen, my friends might have grabbed it and shot a picture of you. But put away? No, that is a clear sign. :iagree: No, I wouldn't touch someone's camera...A book off a living room shelf maybe, but not something like that ;) :iagree: I have a hands off standard for other people's electronics and gear. A book I'd pick up, not a camera, not a computer, not a ipad. (having visions of green eggs and ham, must go get coffee) Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
eternalknot Posted August 1, 2011 Share Posted August 1, 2011 I wouldn't touch something that nice at someones house unless given permission, but at the same time, it probably wouldn't bother me if someone else did at my house. In general I am pretty open about my own material things, to me they are just material things, but I respect that others may not be that way. Yes, this is me. I can replace most anything, plus "nice" and "expensive" truly are relative. I have a similarly expensive camera, and have no qualms about letting others test it out - even kids. Kids love my camera. I wasn't sure if the OP was more bothered by the fact that her 'nice' camera was taken out and used at risk of being damaged, or if she felt more offended by the thought that someone would have the nerve to take the camera from its housing (and actually using it was a secondary offense). Responses seem split both ways. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Sophia Posted August 1, 2011 Share Posted August 1, 2011 I'm one of those "If you break it, you bought it" people, so since I know how expensive those cameras are and accidents happen...I have NO desire to touch other people's belongings. However, I'm often amazed at how careless people are about such matters. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Ria Posted August 1, 2011 Author Share Posted August 1, 2011 I wasn't sure if the OP was more bothered by the fact that her 'nice' camera was taken out and used at risk of being damaged, or if she felt more offended by the thought that someone would have the nerve to take the camera from its housing (and actually using it was a secondary offense). I wasn't so much bothered as just a bit shocked that she would actually use the camera...and this would have been my same reaction whether this was the expensive camera or my little point-and-shoot. Picking a camera up and looking at it seem within the range of normal to me. It was the actual "using it" that struck me as a bit off. I wasn't worried that she would hurt it or anything, but the fact that she'd take start using someone else's camera without asking seems bizarre to me. I think I'd feel that way about someone sitting down and using my computer or ipad without asking, too. Maybe it's just me. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Lady Florida. Posted August 1, 2011 Share Posted August 1, 2011 If you were all looking at it, left it on the coffee table and walked into the kitchen, my friends might have grabbed it and shot a picture of you. But put away? No, that is a clear sign. Yes, if this happened it probably wouldn't bother me. But to go get it from where you put it away? Strange. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
SonshineLearner Posted August 1, 2011 Share Posted August 1, 2011 Weird question, perhaps, but is she from the same culture that you are? Sometimes that makes all the difference. Here, from someone who's been here for a length of time.... absolutely not! Sorry :( Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
mommaduck Posted August 1, 2011 Share Posted August 1, 2011 No, I wouldn't touch someone's camera...A book off a living room shelf maybe, but not something like that ;) :iagree: Books are fair game LOL! At least standing there and looking at the titles, not necessarily picking them up. But someone's camera, especially after being put away, NO! If you know anyone that is a photographer, even as a hobby, the camera is sacred. You do NOT touch their camera. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Ria Posted August 1, 2011 Author Share Posted August 1, 2011 And, FWIW, this is the first time I'd ever had them over. We don't know them well at all. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Ria Posted August 1, 2011 Author Share Posted August 1, 2011 Weird question, perhaps, but is she from the same culture that you are? Sometimes that makes all the difference. Here, from someone who's been here for a length of time.... absolutely not! Sorry :( Yep, same culture. Same church affiliation. Mutual shared acquaintances. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
mlktwins Posted August 1, 2011 Share Posted August 1, 2011 I would be upset had I not offered to let her try it. I have a D90 and it's my baby (after my boys of course). On another note, what lens did you get :D? Mendy Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
mytwomonkeys Posted August 1, 2011 Share Posted August 1, 2011 Not something I would do. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Ria Posted August 1, 2011 Author Share Posted August 1, 2011 I would be upset had I not offered to let her try it. I have a D90 and it's my baby (after my boys of course). On another note, what lens did you get :D? Mendy Tokina 11-16 ultra-wide angle; Ken Rockwell wrote a great review (http://www.kenrockwell.com/tokina/11-16mm.htm) and it gets good reviews on Amazon as well. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
eternalknot Posted August 1, 2011 Share Posted August 1, 2011 Picking a camera up and looking at it seem within the range of normal to me. It was the actual "using it" that struck me as a bit off. I wasn't worried that she would hurt it or anything, but the fact that she'd take start using someone else's camera without asking seems bizarre to me. I think I'd feel that way about someone sitting down and using my computer or ipad without asking, too. Maybe it's just me. I was thinking this was someone you knew better; I didn't realize it was her first time to your home and that your relationship was through that of a mutual friend. That does make it seem a bit more presumptuous on her end, doesn't it? I grew up in a large family, so I've never had issues with people using/taking/sharing my stuff. It's just an assumed LOL. My husband, OTOH, is from a smaller family and if someone came over and sat at his computer he'd be whigged out. It wouldn't really phase me, though. I think it's reasonable we all have our levels of comfort, and I can see how you'd feel like this was kind of an invasion of your personal space and stuff. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Ellie Posted August 1, 2011 Share Posted August 1, 2011 Well, you're disturbed, but I wouldn't say that you are "out of line." That implies action on your part; for example, if you had smacked her hand, you'd have been out of line, even if she had deserved it. She was out of line, though. :blink: I can't imagine what she was thinking. And she did deserve having her hand smacked. Sheesh. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
angela in ohio Posted August 1, 2011 Share Posted August 1, 2011 Some people are raised without a proper sense of boundaries and manners. They only think of what they want ("I want to try this camera.") and not about what other people think/feel. She ideally should have only tried it if you offered. At the very least, she should have asked you first. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Jan in SC Posted August 1, 2011 Share Posted August 1, 2011 I wouldn't have picked up or touched your camera. However, it wouldn't have bothered me if someone had picked up mine. I just don't care that much about it. If it had been my phone, or she had gone on my computer, it would have bothered me a lot! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
eternalknot Posted August 1, 2011 Share Posted August 1, 2011 If you know anyone that is a photographer, even as a hobby, the camera is sacred. You do NOT touch their camera. I'm glad that this hasn't been my experience at all LOL. I baby my cameras, but I love sharing them -and the art of photography- with others, especially the unenlightened and even the uninitiated :D. My local photonerds are the same way, but perhaps we're the exception. We range from paid professionals -paid and former- to serious amateurs and even hobbyists. The only people I see getting all wired up about the cameras are the MWACs at my kids' games; they buy into the marketing, purchase a pricey body with mediocre glass, then treat their cameras like delicate little flowers that everyone else is too irresponsible to handle LOL. I mean, I'm sure accidents have happened, but at the end of the day it's all about the art! Share the photo love! Spread cameras, not war. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Frontier Mom Posted August 1, 2011 Share Posted August 1, 2011 I have found that it really depends upon the way someone is raised, even as an adult. I am the youngest and OCD about many things, especially my "stuff." However, my dh was the oldest of 4 and they are really close in age. His whole family is much less inhibited about touching people's things. They just don't think about it as an invasion. His attitude is, "I used it and put it back. What's the big deal?" As you can tell, we have minor issues with that and I have learned to bend somewhat. I am sure in her mind she was thinking you might like to get a picture of yourself to show off your new lens. I doubt she was really being vengeful, just though it was a kind act. Who knows, she might be in the market for one herself. All this to say, I think how we view things like that has a lot to do with the way we are raised, how our parents were about getting things and other issues. I try to be careful with my dcs myself because I want boundaries but I don't want them to think that my "stuff" is more important than them. Not saying you feel that way at all, just talking from a personal standpoint. Just my $.02. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Dobela Posted August 1, 2011 Share Posted August 1, 2011 No, I wouldn't touch someone's camera...A book off a living room shelf maybe, but not something like that ;) :iagree: I was raised that you don't touch anything in someone's home without permission. Now, my brother with Asperger's might do that however. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Plucky Posted August 1, 2011 Share Posted August 1, 2011 Is she a photographer or camera nut? I don't think she should have done that, but I wonder if camera fanatics can't help themselves and must take a picture. I don't get it, but maybe it is a photographer thing. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Imprimis Posted August 1, 2011 Share Posted August 1, 2011 Is she a photographer or camera nut? I don't think she should have done that, but I wonder if camera fanatics can't help themselves and must take a picture. I don't get it, but maybe it is a photographer thing. Yes, that was my thought. Although I would never touch someone's camera (or anything like that) without invitation, it wouldn't really bother me if someone picked my camera up, especially if we had just been talking about it, and, even more especially if I knew it was someone who is also into photography. I would think it was a bit odd, but, I wouldn't give it any more thought beyond that. And, I have the same camera as the op. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
gardenmom5 Posted August 1, 2011 Share Posted August 1, 2011 (edited) We had some couples over for dinner , and I had showed them the new lens for my dslr camera. I put the camera away and went into the kitchen . define "put away". in its bag resting on your table or in a closet/cupboard/your room? I looked up and there was one of the women - with my camera in hand - and she took a picture! Am I out of line, or do you think this was a bit over the top? Ria It was over the top. some people are like that, and you now know this woman needs supervision in your house. like a pre-schooler. Edited August 1, 2011 by gardenmom5 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
clarkacademy Posted August 1, 2011 Share Posted August 1, 2011 Are you and this woman close friends? She may have thought it was no big deal if so. If I am at my best friends house I could see picking up her stuff without a thought, she would be the same with me. Now if I am not close and it is a casual type thing then NO, I would never touch someone elses property like that. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Ria Posted August 1, 2011 Author Share Posted August 1, 2011 Are you and this woman close friends? She may have thought it was no big deal if so. If I am at my best friends house I could see picking up her stuff without a thought, she would be the same with me. Now if I am not close and it is a casual type thing then NO, I would never touch someone elses property like that. No, I do not know her well at all. We were trying to get to know them a little better (not so sure about that desire anymore after that evening). There were other "oddities" in both conversation and behavior as well. LOL. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
gardenmom5 Posted August 1, 2011 Share Posted August 1, 2011 (edited) I don't get it, but maybe it is a photographer thing. I only know one person who would do that. (sadly, a relative. she 's nuts I tell you!) she has a point and shoot and is constantly in other people's faces even when we tell her to 'back off'. of course, she doens't consider herself a photographer of any kind so she would never pick up a dsl except to move it. (and good luck finding it after she moves it.) I know serious hobbiests through professionals - and they'd never start taking pictures with other people's camera's without permission. If they wanted to try it out, they'd ask first. it wasn't the looking at the camera that seemed to miff the OP, but the presumptuousness and impropriety of taking it out from where she had put it away, and started taking pictures with it. all without asking. Edited August 1, 2011 by gardenmom5 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Ria Posted August 1, 2011 Author Share Posted August 1, 2011 it wasn't the looking at the camera that seemed to miff the OP, but the presumptuousness and impropriety of taking it out from where she had put it away, and started taking pictures with it. all without asking. Yep, that's it in a nutshell. I don't mind people playing with the camera. It's fun. I even let kids use it. But ask first! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
gardening momma Posted August 1, 2011 Share Posted August 1, 2011 I just bought a very expensive camera, so no, no way would I pick up someone else's and take a picture. Not even a cheap camera. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Classical Country Mama Posted August 1, 2011 Share Posted August 1, 2011 Ooo! Ooo! I have friends like this! One will, when she is visiting, pick up birthday/anniversary cards hanging on the wall and read them; open journals and skim them; look through closets and drawers for interesting things. It's wonderful character growth for me. :D My FAVORITE such instance is back when I worked in an office. I hadn't yet told my boss (db?) I was expecting my first baby, and had an envelope with my u/s in it on my desk. He saunters by, sees the envelope, disregards MY NAME on it, opens it up, and just about faints. And says, stunned, "OMG, it's a FETUS!" It was a while before he dared touch anything on my desk again. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
angela in ohio Posted August 1, 2011 Share Posted August 1, 2011 I know serious hobbiests through professionals - and they'd never start taking pictures with other people's camera's without permission. If they wanted to try it out, they'd ask first. it wasn't the looking at the camera that seemed to miff the OP, but the presumptuousness and impropriety of taking it out from where she had put it away, and started taking pictures with it. all without asking. Exactly. I'm :lol: at some of the implications that Ria (good to see you back, btw! :)) is selfish or not experienced enough with cameras. This was a grown woman, not a child, and she should know enough to at least ask. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Cindy in the NH Woods Posted August 1, 2011 Share Posted August 1, 2011 (edited) Yep, that's it in a nutshell. I don't mind people playing with the camera. It's fun. I even let kids use it. But ask first! You're much kinder than I am, Ria! It sounds like your guest may have some other issues going on... but touching someone's camera (in addition to risking scratching the lens, etc.) is IMO a violation of privacy akin to reading someone's mail or journal. I may not necessarily want someone looking at my (or a client's) photos! At times, I use photography to work out some deep issues I have been thinking about or experiencing. In other words, you may borrow my car, my clothes, my house.... but if you touch my camera, you die. Just kidding. Sorta. Edited August 1, 2011 by Cindy in the NH Woods Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
akmommy Posted August 1, 2011 Share Posted August 1, 2011 : No, I wouldn't touch someone's camera...A book off a living room shelf maybe, but not something like that ;) :iagree: I don't handle expensive items belonging to others without specific permission. Just too many things that could happen to it and then I would feel responsible for replacing it. So yes I would find it odd. I suppose my my reaction would depend on who. A good friend versus an acquaintance. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
gardenmom5 Posted August 1, 2011 Share Posted August 1, 2011 Ooo! Ooo! I have friends like this! One will, when she is visiting, pick up birthday/anniversary cards hanging on the wall and read them; open journals and skim them; look through closets and drawers for interesting things. It's wonderful character growth for me. :D You're friends with my MIL? who knew. :lol: just to warn you, she likes to put things back in interesting places so you won't find them. ;p Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
AuntieM Posted August 1, 2011 Share Posted August 1, 2011 Oh, heavens no! What if I dropped your really nice camera, and it broke? And even if the object in question weren't breakable, it's still not mine. I would only mess with it if I were invited to, or if I saw it was in a dangerous spot and then I would simply move it to a safer place. Maybe this person assumes such a close friendship that she thought you wouldn't mind? Maybe she is an experienced photographer? I dunno... it seems odd to me. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Wabi Sabi Posted August 1, 2011 Share Posted August 1, 2011 It depends on what you mean by "put-away." We have a D90 and putting it away could mean several things: it might be that we put it up on a high shelf in the living room out of children's reach (the majority of the time that's where you'll find it.) It's still wide out in the open right at adult eye level. But, putting it away might also mean zipping it back into its case and tucking it into our backpack, into a drawer, closet, etc. If it was put away right out in the open it wouldn't bother me that someone picked it up providing that they're a careful adult. If they went rummaging through a bag or closet to get to it? I'd be irate. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
AuntieM Posted August 1, 2011 Share Posted August 1, 2011 You're friends with my MIL? who knew. :lol: just to warn you, she likes to put things back in interesting places so you won't find them. ;p :lol::lol::lol::lol: I have a personal-card-reader in the extended family, too. Just because I left it on the counter doesn't mean I am inviting you to pick it up, open it and read it. I just ran out of time to shove all the paper bits into drawers before you got here! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Mommy22alyns Posted August 1, 2011 Share Posted August 1, 2011 Definitely weird. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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