TXMary2 Posted June 20, 2011 Share Posted June 20, 2011 My son dated a girl for a couple of months. At first she was sweet. He was taken by her looks (blonde, busty, you know.....). My son is an adult and is doing typical young adult things, making mistakes and hopefully learning from them. He was somewhat sheltered before he turned 18 and had to live by our rules. He's 20 now and he still does to some extent because he lives in our house, but we are more flexible because he is an adult, works full time and pays all his own bills - he just happens to live here still. Â Anyway, this girl would get extremely jealous, she'd look through his phone and she'd constantly be bringing other guys around trying to provoke my son. She'd sass girls he works with telling them not to talk to her man etc., etc. A few weeks ago everything came to a head. They were on a boat at the lake with some people she knew. My son had fallen asleep on the boat and awakened to her attacking him. He was taken by surprise and pushed her off of him. There were other young men on the boat who promptly threatened him, threw him off the boat and left him in the middle of the lake. Another boat came by and picked him up to take him back to shore. Â Just to let you know how scary this is, today there is a news story that another young man drowned in this very lake last night. Someone dies there every year. Â Once my son was brought back to shore he had to hunt the girl and her friends down because his truck keys, wallet and phone were on the boat. He found the people and they would not return his things. They told him it was all in the bottom of the lake. My son was stranded with no phone, no money and no keys. He went to a restaurant and called me crying - basically broken hearted and injured. The Sheriff was called, they took photos of him and he has a case number. They found the girl at a nearby restaurant with her loser friends and she filed a case against him too - except he is the one with visible injuries they have photos of. Basically he had scratches on his face, arms, chest and torso. Now she is trying to say that she never touched him, it was her male friends who did it. Really? Does anyone believe they scratched him up instead of punching him? She did it. A couple weeks before this happened she attacked him and ripped his shirt halfway off him. She did this in front of one of his friends. He should have ended it then, but he didn't. Â When his phone and wallet were allegedly at the bottom of the lake, his phone was being used by her to call his work. His debit card was used at 8 different locations. His bank has since refunded his money and he has a new debit card. Â Since this incident she has called his work, threatening some other girls that work there, telling them to stay away from my son. She relentlessly texted and called my son until we blocked her number and the subsequent numbers she was calling from. She calls and texts my phone and I just let her leave a record of her craziness. I usually ignore her, but today I replied to her after the 8th text I received. I should have kept ignoring her because now she is more psychotic I think. Â I looked her name up on line (she does local modeling) and discovered several different people posting about how she is "crazy," "clingy with guys," "mentally unstable" "a slut" "a liar" etc. I also found out from the county where the lake is, that she had a restraining order against her by some other young man she wouldn't leave alone. Â As of now, she hasn't come around physically (that we know of) so we can't get a protective order, we can only complain about "phone harassment." We might possibly get to do something if I can get the detective on his case to actually return our calls. It seems they view this as just another lovers spat on the lake. Sorry, but my son was basically left for dead, robbed and assaulted - not your typical spat. Â I don't know what to do. I don't like the drama. I don't like this girl and if anything else happens to my son, my mama bear may go off the charts. I have only heard of things like this and never imagined being in the middle of something like this. This girl is scary crazy and I am worried she will do something. My son isn't the first person she has harassed and she may be escalating her behavior. Â If anyone here was unfortunate enough to have experience with something like this - I am not sure what I am looking for - I just want her to go away. What did it take to end the situation? Anything else legal I can try? I have been praying and each time I think we are rid of her, she texts or calls. It is maddening. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Impish Posted June 20, 2011 Share Posted June 20, 2011 Unfortunately, you and your son are discovering one of the many flaws of the legal system. Â Until she *does* something, like show up, damage property...there won't be much that happens. Even when she does, and if you are able to get a restraining order, having them enforced is a challenge. Â And, as much as I hate to say it, the fact that its a woman harrassing a man doesn't help either. Not that women being stalked and threatened is dealt with very well either. :glare: Â Keep records, keep calling the police. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
amy g. Posted June 20, 2011 Share Posted June 20, 2011 Your post really scares me. Â If you think there is any way he might get back together with her, you might want to watch this haunting documentary with him. Â http://www.imdb.com/title/tt1152758/ Â In your situation, I would be very proactive about defending your family. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
elizabeth Posted June 20, 2011 Share Posted June 20, 2011 I would go the police and seek a restraining order. Be you woman or man this is behaviour that is unlawful, dangerous and should be contained. What a demented and horrible person. If someone did that to my child they would be ....sorry. Very sorry. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Carol in Cal. Posted June 20, 2011 Share Posted June 20, 2011 Start with documentation. Write down everything that happened, in sequences, with dates (and times, if possible). Â Then go to the police and see whether you can get a restraining order. Be ready for some flack about it being weird to ask for that on behalf of the guy not the girl. But do it. Â My guess is that she will find a new object to latch onto, and things will die down, but being on record in case things get worse is really, really important. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
RanchGirl Posted June 20, 2011 Share Posted June 20, 2011 Is it part of the police report that she stole and used his debit card and phone? If it is, I wouldn't push for anything further legally at this point. If not, I would make sure that it is. I would think they wuld take that seriously? Â If I were you I would change all your phone numbers. Ignore texts and calls in the meantime. Then hope she finds someone else to be crazy with. If she doesn't, talk to a lawyer. Get an alarm system, dog, and/or gun (if you are willing to learn to use it safely). Â And make sure your son is being cautious about his surroundings, never alone, checking his car for tampering. Hopefully this will end and just be a huge learning experience. Â I'm so glad your son is ok! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
clarkacademy Posted June 20, 2011 Share Posted June 20, 2011 Unfortunately, you and your son are discovering one of the many flaws of the legal system. Until she *does* something, like show up, damage property...there won't be much that happens. Even when she does, and if you are able to get a restraining order, having them enforced is a challenge.  And, as much as I hate to say it, the fact that its a woman harrassing a man doesn't help either. Not that women being stalked and threatened is dealt with very well either. :glare:  Keep records, keep calling the police.  Yes I must agree on this here. Even then at times when they do break it unless they cause harm or damage the officers will most likely just say leave. I am glad your son is all right. If aaproached in a public place I would tell him to yell loudly I don't like you I don't want you maybe that will embarass her enough. I would have my work do it to when she calls be like hey he don't like you back off and hang up.  So sad those situations. I double the KEEP RECORDS If something happens you have something to fall back on Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
regentrude Posted June 20, 2011 Share Posted June 20, 2011 Anything else legal I can try? Â have you pressed charges for assault and robbery? Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Virg Posted June 20, 2011 Share Posted June 20, 2011 I would advise him to press charges about stealing his phone and using his money! :grouphug: IME detectives are so busy it takes them FOREVER to call back! I know it is really frustrating! This girl sounds dangerous and it sounds like you already are but I would recommend documenting everything you can. Wow I am so sorry you and your son are in this position! :( Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
AuntieM Posted June 20, 2011 Share Posted June 20, 2011 If you went to the police to have photos taken and filed a report, why can't you get a restraining order? Â How old is the girl? Is she above the age of contacting her parents? Â I would definitely file charges for theft of the phone and debit card. Those are criminal acts. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Mama2Many4 Posted June 20, 2011 Share Posted June 20, 2011 I've never gone through this myself, but my best friend dates a stalker when we were about that age. He would stand outside her house and punch her mom's mailbox, scream that we were lesbians, break windows on her car. One winter he buried her car in snow, clear up to the roof! He was really 2 fries short of a happy meal and the only way she could get rid of him was to get a restraining order. If your son gets a restraining order, even her calling him would land her in jail. It did for my friends ex-stalker. Sorry you have to go through this. I have 2 boys and a girl and I'm not looking forward to the dating years at all. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
WiseOwlKnits Posted June 20, 2011 Share Posted June 20, 2011 I have no advice, but wow - that's scary!! You guys will be in my thoughts and I hope that she'll get the hint soon. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Clover11 Posted June 20, 2011 Share Posted June 20, 2011 He needs to be very careful when out alone. Girls like this will sometimes get a group of male friends to harm the ex boyfriend in some way. So sorry he is dealing with this :( Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
mcconnellboys Posted June 20, 2011 Share Posted June 20, 2011 Why don't you file charges for the theft, too? And I'd tell that detective what you've found out about her other restraining order, other comments about her, etc., too. His workplace should also file harrassment charges against her, along with the co-workers she is harassing. And I'd pile on as many charges as possible, so that if anything more serious ever does occur, there's a great record of her past behaviours.... Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
AuntieM Posted June 20, 2011 Share Posted June 20, 2011 Just wanted to add that I would see if you can get an affidavit from ds's friend about the shirt-tearing episode, and see if you can add that to the Sheriff's file. Also, since you know about the other case, would it be too much to mention those to the Sheriff as well, sort of help build up the credibility of your son's case? Whatever it takes to get a restraining order, if they won't implement one now? Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Lara in Colo Posted June 20, 2011 Share Posted June 20, 2011 Start with documentation. Write down everything that happened, in sequences, with dates (and times, if possible). Then go to the police and see whether you can get a restraining order. Be ready for some flack about it being weird to ask for that on behalf of the guy not the girl. But do it.  My guess is that she will find a new object to latch onto, and things will die down, but being on record in case things get worse is really, really important.    Agree with this!! Get a notebook and start writing everything down. A calendar would work as well. Also get a printout from the cell phone people of the texts and keep a copy of the bill (this shows incoming and outgoing calls--this will show that she is calling him and not him calling her.)  You can also get signed witness statements from his friends and co-workers. Start being more defensive and she should back down. Defensive is different from aggressive (do not provoke, just report and gather your evidence-letting nothing slide) Do not let your son talk to her!!!! His silence has the upperhand and gives him the power in this relationship. His silence could cause her to up the agression (giving you the ammunition you need to get the restraining order)   Good luck and I am sorry he is going through this---hopefully he can recognise the crazies from now on and avoid them (good lesson to learn early in the dating process--before children are involved)  Lara Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Wendi Posted June 20, 2011 Share Posted June 20, 2011 Do the police plan to arrest her and her friends for assault and robbery, and whatever charge corresponds to leaving someone in a lake (reckless endangerment?)? If not, why? They already have evidence that he was attacked and robbed. She has "done something" already. It seems like the fact that she's already attacked and robbed him, and continues to text, call, and threaten others would be enough to get a restraining order, hopefully to keep her away from him and his workplace. Â I'm sorry all this is happening. :grouphug: Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
gingersmom Posted June 20, 2011 Share Posted June 20, 2011 I would get a restraining order against her. Â Go to court with all your evidence (police reports, texts, photos, etc) and ask the judge for one. Not sure about where you are but in NY you do not need a lawyer to file for one. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
TXMary2 Posted June 20, 2011 Author Share Posted June 20, 2011 Thanks everyone. I have left messages with the detective about the debit card, but again I get no return calls. I called again this morning and was told the detective assigned to this case is in a training all week and can't call me until next week. It is very frustrating. Â I do have several pages of notes with dates and times. We have saved all texts and voice mails. Â Actual charges have not been pressed because again, no return calls. The night my son filed the report with the Sheriff, he did not want to press charges. The Sheriff told us that evening that if he changed his mind all we had to do was call the detective who would be assigned to the case. The other obstacle is we don't live in the county where this happened - we are an hour an a half away so it isn't easy to pop in there and make a scene to get some action taken. Â I keep reminding my son to be aware of his surroundings and don't go anywhere alone if he can help it. The thing is unless this girl has a weapon, she can't do real damage, he physically could over power her. But mentally, that is a problem for him as he wouldn't hit a girl. He pushed her off him but she keeps repeating over and over that he punched her, as if that will make it true if she keeps saying it. She is a pathological liar and seems to be oblivious to reality. I do worry about her getting other men to do something to him. She knows where we live, where he works and she knows where my husband works. It is all so unnerving. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Parrothead Posted June 20, 2011 Share Posted June 20, 2011 press charges on what she's done to this point, and every time hereafter. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
TXMary2 Posted June 20, 2011 Author Share Posted June 20, 2011 Agree with this!! Do not let your son talk to her!!!! His silence has the upperhand and gives him the power in this relationship. His silence could cause her to up the agression (giving you the ammunition you need to get the restraining order)   Good luck and I am sorry he is going through this---hopefully he can recognise the crazies from now on and avoid them (good lesson to learn early in the dating process--before children are involved)  Lara  He hasn't spoken to her since that night and it has enraged her and made her distraught. She left a crazy message first threatening him, then begging him to unblock her number and to "pleeeeaaaaase" talk to her. She left another message sounding all doped up as if she was trying to convince my son she OD'd in an attempt to get him to call her. He did not of course.  I forgot to say that also that night, her friends broke the back window out of his truck, so that should be in the report too, but I don't have a copy of it so I have no idea what it says! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
BatmansWife Posted June 21, 2011 Share Posted June 21, 2011 :eek: Oh my goodness! :grouphug: I am so sorry this is happening. Your poor son! When you said he called you crying...that made me tear up. :crying: It can take a lot to make a young man cry. I just can't believe those people for throwing him off the boat like that!! I don't even wanna think about what could have happened. You said "he has a case number. They found the girl at a nearby restaurant with her loser friends and she filed a case against him too". Does this mean that he did file a restraining order against her? I suppose her case against him is all based on lies. I'm so glad he went to the police right away. I hope there is a way to find the people in the other boat that picked him up so they can give their statement that he really was in the middle of the lake. I wish I had advice, the others have given some good suggestions. I am so sorry your son ever met this psycho.   Unfortunately, you and your son are discovering one of the many flaws of the legal system. Until she *does* something, like show up, damage property...there won't be much that happens. Even when she does, and if you are able to get a restraining order, having them enforced is a challenge.  And, as much as I hate to say it, the fact that its a woman harrassing a man doesn't help either. Not that women being stalked and threatened is dealt with very well either. :glare:  Keep records, keep calling the police.  Until she *does* something? Isn't it enough to attack him and have her friends throw him overboard? Wouldn't this be enough for a restraining order? I know it's a matter of he said, she said....but he had some evidence on him; soaked clothes, scratches.  Do the police plan to arrest her and her friends for assault and robbery, and whatever charge corresponds to leaving someone in a lake (reckless endangerment?)? If not, why? They already have evidence that he was attacked and robbed. She has "done something" already. It seems like the fact that she's already attacked and robbed him, and continues to text, call, and threaten others would be enough to get a restraining order, hopefully to keep her away from him and his workplace. I'm sorry all this is happening. :grouphug: :iagree: I agree. Why weren't they arrested or held accountable in some way? Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
AuntieM Posted June 21, 2011 Share Posted June 21, 2011 (edited) The thing is unless this girl has a weapon, she can't do real damage, he physically could over power her. But mentally, that is a problem for him as he wouldn't hit a girl. He pushed her off him but she keeps repeating over and over that he punched her, as if that will make it true if she keeps saying it. She is a pathological liar and seems to be oblivious to reality. Â Â This may be her strategy -- to bait him into action and then try to turn the tables. He needs to always go out with a group of his friends, so there can be no false accusations. Cell phone camera all around. Â ETA I think this is worth an hour and a half drive to sweetly rattle some cages at the sheriff's office. Someone has got to be covering for this out of commission officer (I mean, cases just can't sit for a week, someone has been given responsibility for them in his absence). I think it's important to let them know you're serious enough about protecting and defending your son to make that drive... but that's just what I would do. Edited June 21, 2011 by AuntieM Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
gardening momma Posted June 21, 2011 Share Posted June 21, 2011 (edited) I called again this morning and was told the detective assigned to this case is in a training all week and can't call me until next week. It is very frustrating. That's crazy. I'd call and complain about that. They should have someone else cover for him if he's not available for a week. Say you want the restraining order this week. ETA: and to press charges this week. Edited June 21, 2011 by gardening momma Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
BatmansWife Posted June 21, 2011 Share Posted June 21, 2011 Actual charges have not been pressed because again, no return calls. The night my son filed the report with the Sheriff, he did not want to press charges. The Sheriff told us that evening that if he changed his mind all we had to do was call the detective who would be assigned to the case. Â I think he needs to change his mind and contact that detective. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Bug's Mom Posted June 21, 2011 Share Posted June 21, 2011 Did any of the places where the debit card was used have video cameras? If so, they should be able to figure out who was using it. When I was robbed at gunpoint, the (quite grainy) video was the main thing that helped the detectives figure out who the robber was. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
unsinkable Posted June 21, 2011 Share Posted June 21, 2011 I have no advice but I'll be praying for a good outcome! Â :grouphug: Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
AuntieM Posted June 21, 2011 Share Posted June 21, 2011 Did any of the places where the debit card was used have video cameras? If so, they should be able to figure out who was using it. When I was robbed at gunpoint, the (quite grainy) video was the main thing that helped the detectives figure out who the robber was. Â great idea! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Jennifer3141 Posted June 21, 2011 Share Posted June 21, 2011 Change his cell phone. Change any and all numbers she has and document EVERYTHING. I know changing phone number is a pain but she's nuts. Get her as much out of his life as possible. Â And I'd call the police every single day until something is done. Â I am so sorry about this!! This is terrifying!!! :grouphug: Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
kalanamak Posted June 21, 2011 Share Posted June 21, 2011 Change his cell phone. Change any and all numbers she has and document EVERYTHING. I know changing phone number is a pain but she's nuts. Get her as much out of his life as possible. :grouphug:  :iagree: I do hope he takes this opportunity to consider the less-flashy girl with her nose in a book and her spade in a nice garden next time. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
TXMary2 Posted June 21, 2011 Author Share Posted June 21, 2011 :iagree: I do hope he takes this opportunity to consider the less-flashy girl with her nose in a book and her spade in a nice garden next time. Â Amen to that. The way he met this girl should have been his first clue, but he's a 20 year old with raging hormones. She gave him her phone number on a napkin - just walked up to him and didn't know him from Adam. My husband told my son that truly "hot" girls don't need to give their number out like that. I told him the next time that happens to run the other way! Â Auntie, I would go and "rattle cages" but I can tell from the dozens of phone calls I have made that it would be a wasted trip. I have asked to speak to someone else and I was repeatedly told that only the detective on the case would have information for me. Even his sargeant is at the training this week. I am more than happy to drive there if I know it will yield results. Â Several of the businesses do have cameras. I called every one of them. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
AuntieM Posted June 21, 2011 Share Posted June 21, 2011 Auntie, I would go and "rattle cages" but I can tell from the dozens of phone calls I have made that it would be a wasted trip. I have asked to speak to someone else and I was repeatedly told that only the detective on the case would have information for me. Even his sargeant is at the training this week. I am more than happy to drive there if I know it will yield results. Â Several of the businesses do have cameras. I called every one of them. Â Oh, how frustrating! Well, hopefully he'll get the message that you've called and called. I hope the cameras will yield something. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Paz Posted June 21, 2011 Share Posted June 21, 2011 My ds's last serious girlfriend had major issues. She showed up at a party one night after she had been drinking and was acting so scary my ds's friend locked himself in his truck and didn't know what to do. These are huge, athletic men. My ds called the police and they came and took her to the hospital overnight for observation. I think you have gotten good advice. Keep documentation, call the police if you or he feel threatened in any way. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
arghmatey Posted June 21, 2011 Share Posted June 21, 2011 Have you contacted an attorney? She might give you some ideas no one here has thought of yet. Perhaps a cease and desist letter would spook her a bit--or buy your son some time until the detective is no longer busy. Â This is all so frustrating. I'm sorry your family is going through this. Very scary, and I'm glad your son is alive after that lake incident! Those people are all criminals. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
OrganicAnn Posted June 21, 2011 Share Posted June 21, 2011 I think everyone gave good info on what to do about the attack. One thing that I would say, is that people who keep dating the crazy guys/girls often do so again and again. They keep ignore all the warning signs until the situation has turned violent. I hope it was a fluke for your DS. I don't know what it takes to break that cycle, but some people do and some people don't. What is really sad is when it eventually involves kids. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Tree House Academy Posted June 21, 2011 Share Posted June 21, 2011 (edited) Your post really scares me. If you think there is any way he might get back together with her, you might want to watch this haunting documentary with him.  http://www.imdb.com/title/tt1152758/  In your situation, I would be very proactive about defending your family.  I just watched this documentary and I must say that it touched me so very deeply. What a tragedy and amazing failure on the part of that legal system. I can't even imagine what, in that mother's mind, made her capable of what she did in the end. :( And it makes me think of life and what if all of us had a friend who could go back and talk to those we have touched during our lives. What a beautiful tribute and a beautiful dedication to those parents and grandparents who lost so much!  To the OP...Please, do all you can to stop this girl from harrassing your son...and make sure that he also does all he can to stay away from her and does not "take her back" for any reason.  Hugs and prayers for you and your family as you go through this. Edited June 21, 2011 by Tree House Academy Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Jennifer3141 Posted June 21, 2011 Share Posted June 21, 2011 Mary, call EVERY day until you get ahold of whomever you need to contact. Who cares if it is irritating to them? You need to make sure the authorities are aware of this girl's past and know they need to protect your son. Â Do you think your DS should talk to a therapist or something? It has to be scary to have something like this happen to him!!! Has he done enough examination of himself to ensure it won't happen again? Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
kolamum Posted June 21, 2011 Share Posted June 21, 2011 Can you contact a lawyer? She may dissaper into the never blue yonder if she gets a piece of paper from a legal head threatening her with harassment and another slew of "things" if she can't grow up. Â And if she thinks going to court will win for her, chances are the lawyer could dig up a lot of people with the same complaints which means her "love life" will be virtually over if she's lucky enough not to get locked up for insanity. ;) Â I suspect a lawyer could all ready do something about harassment because of she keeps bugging people at your ds's work I'd say there's an extremely high chance he'll lose his job. While it's not HIM making the problem it's someone he knew/knows. In order to keep things calm and quite at work the boss people may take this step. However, that might be her goal with what she's doing too.. Â I'd definitely seek legal advice. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Sputterduck Posted June 21, 2011 Share Posted June 21, 2011 (edited) Your post really scares me. If you think there is any way he might get back together with her, you might want to watch this haunting documentary with him.  http://www.imdb.com/title/tt1152758/  In your situation, I would be very proactive about defending your family.  I rented this in itunes this evening and watched it out of curiosity after your post. How... utterly frightening and awful.  Tell me, please, that the Canadian justice system doesn't normally work that way.  Why have I never seen that story on the news? Edited June 21, 2011 by Sputterduck Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
annandatje Posted June 21, 2011 Share Posted June 21, 2011 My first thought was that she will dispatch her thuggy male minions to do him harm again. Â In addition to all the other great advice you have received, I would invest in a personal taser if they are legal in Texas. I assume they probably are. A discreet camera in his vehicle would be good idea too. Change the cell phone number and remove as much identifying information as possible from social networking sites and the internet in general. Â Pressure the detectives. Oh, and get affidavit from the people who rescued him. Â Could he possibly move beyond her geographical reach? Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
WishboneDawn Posted June 21, 2011 Share Posted June 21, 2011 The other obstacle is we don't live in the county where this happened - we are an hour an a half away so it isn't easy to pop in there and make a scene to get some action taken. Â Â I'd make the time for this. This is important and the time or distance involved shouldn't be a factor. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
calandalsmom Posted June 21, 2011 Share Posted June 21, 2011 It would probably be cheap and a good idea to get a cease and desist letter from a lawyer telling her she has to stop harassing him. I assume you contacted the bank already and the cell phone carrier? You can press charges on theft at your own police station I would think. Let them do the foot work and contact the other for the info on the actual day. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
pbjmeyer Posted June 21, 2011 Share Posted June 21, 2011 I think in order to have more evidence against her, I would unblock her number and let her text away - just keep the phone in a drawer somewhere and print out the calls daily. Then, get your son a new phone and new number to use and make sure it has a good camera. Â I'm sorry this is happening to you and your family. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
micheller1 Posted June 21, 2011 Share Posted June 21, 2011 it really frustrates me that the police refuse to take cases like this seriously!! if it were a man harrassing a woman in such a way they would be all over it!! phone harrassment and the behavior she is exhibiting would allow for a restraining order if the situation were reversed - man harrassing a woman!  It's situations like these that allow woman to believe that they can be abusers.  I would really force the police to stand up and take notice, even if it means taking the phone records and phone recordings and copies of harrassing txt messages personally in to the police station  maybe they are confused ab what constitutes harrassment: ha·rass·ment [ hĂƒÂ©rrÉ™smÉ™nt ]   threatening or tormenting behavior: behavior that threatens or torments somebody, especially persistently http://definitions.uslegal.com/h/harassment/  Harassment in the second degree is a violation. S 240.30 Aggravated harassment in the second degree. A person is guilty of aggravated harassment in the second degree when, with intent to harass, annoy, threaten or alarm another person, he or she:   Either (a) communicates with a person, anonymously or otherwise, by telephone, or by telegraph, mail or any other form of written communication, in a manner likely to cause annoyance or alarm; or (b) causes a communication to be initiated by mechanical or electronic means or otherwise with a person, anonymously or otherwise, by telephone, or by telegraph, mail or any other form of written communication, in a manner likely to cause annoyance or alarm; or Makes a telephone call, whether or not a conversation ensues, with no purpose of legitimate communication; or Strikes, shoves, kicks, or otherwise subjects another person to physical contact, or attempts or threatens to do the same because of a belief or perception regarding such person`s race, color, national origin, ancestry, gender, religion, religious practice, age, disability or sexual orientation, regardless of whether the belief or perception is correct; or Commits the crime of harassment in the first degree and has previously been convicted of the crime of harassment in the first degree as defined by section 240.25 of this article within the preceding ten years.  Aggravated harassment in the second degree is a class A misdemeanor.   I would take this down to the police station with me and refuse to leave without them putting a restraining order against her. Why should she be allowed to believe that this behavior is not only acceptable but unstoppable!! :glare: Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
TXMary2 Posted June 21, 2011 Author Share Posted June 21, 2011 it really frustrates me that the police refuse to take cases like this seriously!! if it were a man harrassing a woman in such a way they would be all over it!! phone harrassment and the behavior she is exhibiting would allow for a restraining order if the situation were reversed - man harrassing a woman! It's situations like these that allow woman to believe that they can be abusers.  I would really force the police to stand up and take notice, even if it means taking the phone records and phone recordings and copies of harrassing txt messages personally in to the police station  maybe they are confused ab what constitutes harrassment: ha·rass·ment [ hĂƒÂ©rrÉ™smÉ™nt ]   threatening or tormenting behavior: behavior that threatens or torments somebody, especially persistently http://definitions.uslegal.com/h/harassment/  Harassment in the second degree is a violation. S 240.30 Aggravated harassment in the second degree. A person is guilty of aggravated harassment in the second degree when, with intent to harass, annoy, threaten or alarm another person, he or she:   Either (a) communicates with a person, anonymously or otherwise, by telephone, or by telegraph, mail or any other form of written communication, in a manner likely to cause annoyance or alarm; or (b) causes a communication to be initiated by mechanical or electronic means or otherwise with a person, anonymously or otherwise, by telephone, or by telegraph, mail or any other form of written communication, in a manner likely to cause annoyance or alarm; or Makes a telephone call, whether or not a conversation ensues, with no purpose of legitimate communication; or Strikes, shoves, kicks, or otherwise subjects another person to physical contact, or attempts or threatens to do the same because of a belief or perception regarding such person`s race, color, national origin, ancestry, gender, religion, religious practice, age, disability or sexual orientation, regardless of whether the belief or perception is correct; or Commits the crime of harassment in the first degree and has previously been convicted of the crime of harassment in the first degree as defined by section 240.25 of this article within the preceding ten years. Aggravated harassment in the second degree is a class A misdemeanor.   I would take this down to the police station with me and refuse to leave without them putting a restraining order against her. Why should she be allowed to believe that this behavior is not only acceptable but unstoppable!! :glare:  Thank you for this.  I think in order to have more evidence against her, I would unblock her number and let her text away - just keep the phone in a drawer somewhere and print out the calls daily. Then, get your son a new phone and new number to use and make sure it has a good camera.    We blocked her on his phone, but she has been calling and texting mine. I haven't blocked her on mine so that we could have a record of her behavior.  Thank you everyone for the suggestions. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
RanchGirl Posted June 24, 2011 Share Posted June 24, 2011 Any update on this? I hope you were able to make contact with the detective! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
TXMary2 Posted June 24, 2011 Author Share Posted June 24, 2011 Any update on this? I hope you were able to make contact with the detective! Â Nope, but I anticipate him being available Monday morning since today was the last day of their training. On the up side, we haven't heard back from the girl since I posted OP. I don't want to get too excited because she has gone a few days without contact before, but I am just praying she goes away. The hard thing is if she is leaving my son alone that can only mean she has found a new obesession - so God help whoever he is. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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