Soccer on a Sunday, instead of Confirmation class--what hubby did...

[Chris in VA]

Thought this was an interesting assignment--

 

Dh (an Episcopal priest, in case anyone doesn't know) teaches Confirmation class every Sunday, from January til the Bish comes in June. Kids who want to be confirmed (make a mature profession of faith, having been baptised as infants) have to come to each class, unless they are sick or the family is traveling. So, one dear boy had a soccer game--and his parents let him choose what to attend, the class or the game. He chose the game.

 

Dh gave him a make-up assignment--Dear boy had to watch Chariots of Fire and write out some answers to a study guide on it that dh made up. :D

 

(For those of you that don't know CofF, one of the Olympic athletes, a Christian, gave up a race, choosing not to run on Sunday.)

 

I think that was a pretty fitting assignment, don't you?

[Hedgehog]

Nice one! :D

[Parrothead]

Sounds good.

[UnsinkableKristen]

Um, that is awesome.

[Carol in Cal.]

Totally perfect.

 

(And what were those parents thinking???)

[Amy1k]

Totally perfect.

 

(And what were those parents thinking???)

 

I guess they were thinking that the boy could choose which activity he preferred to attend. ;)

[Margo out of lurking]

I think that was a pretty fitting assignment, don't you?

 

QUITE brilliant! :coolgleamA:

 

(I would be aggravated by the parents who gave their ds the option. I hope they watched it with him!)

[Teachin'Mine]

Solomon couldn't have done better! :D

[TXBeth]

Not giving him the choice would kinda defeat the purpose of confirmation. Love the makeup assignment. :)

[Jen+4dc]

Not giving him the choice would kinda defeat the purpose of confirmation. Love the makeup assignment. :)

:iagree::iagree:

[ZooRho]

that was a great option.

 

We are in that difficult spot of making choices about a sport and church. It isn't easy. If your child has a talent there sometimes isn't a choice, that is easy.

 

For us this could be a ticket and money for college.

[Night Elf]

Just curious if there are make-up assignments for the kids who miss due to sickness or traveling.

[justamouse]

awesome!

[ChristusG]

Perfect!

 

How old is the boy? Will he understand the comparison between the two?

[QueenCat]

Brilliant!!!

[Carol in Cal.]

Not giving him the choice would kinda defeat the purpose of confirmation. Love the makeup assignment. :)

 

Au contraire...

 

We homeschoolers guide our children's learning. It seems that we should advocate for guiding their most important learning--Christian instruction--rather than making excuses for why it is less important than other instruction.

[Michele B]

We homeschoolers guide our children's learning. It seems that we should advocate for guiding their most important learning--Christian instruction--rather than making excuses for why it is less important than other instruction.

 

 

:iagree:

 

Right! Just like I don't let mine choose to eat fritos and doughnuts for breakfast - I will inform and guide my children's choices until they are capable of understanding what is at stake. IMO, that's the point of having parents.:D

[Michele B]

I guess they were thinking that the boy could choose which activity he preferred to attend. ;)

 

But as a middle school-aged child (I assume), is he informed enough to make that decision on his own? Did he understand the differences between the choices and the ultimate outcomes of his decision?

 

Perhaps the plan laid out in the Well-Trained Mind applies to more than education - this child was allowed to jump ahead to the Rhetoric stage, with out the Grammar and Logic stages.

[Mama Geek]

Great makeup assignment.

 

As far as confirmation the OP said that it is a mature statement of faith. The parents were right to let him make the choice. Kids at this age shouldn't be forced into confirmation if they either don't want or aren't ready for it.

 

I have no problems with confirmation, I am Lutheran, I am just saying it is a religious choice.

[katilac]

Au contraire...

 

We homeschoolers guide our children's learning. It seems that we should advocate for guiding their most important learning--Christian instruction--rather than making excuses for why it is less important than other instruction.

 

But the point is that he is studying for confirmation, a mature statement of faith. In other words, once he is confirmed, he is an adult in the church.

 

If he is forced to attend class, then confirmation will have no meaning. If he wants to be confirmed and be an adult in the church, then he will make the decisions he needs to in order to get there - - such as attending class on a regular basis, and doing a lot of makeup work when he misses.

[Carol in Cal.]

But the point is that he is studying for confirmation, a mature statement of faith. In other words, once he is confirmed, he is an adult in the church.

 

If he is forced to attend class, then confirmation will have no meaning. If he wants to be confirmed and be an adult in the church, then he will make the decisions he needs to in order to get there - - such as attending class on a regular basis, and doing a lot of makeup work when he misses.

 

In my opinion, they could reasonably (and should) insist that he attend these classes so as to form an informed opinion, but should not insist that he get confirmed.

 

I disagree that confirmation would have no meaning under those circumstances. It would be meaningless if he were pressured to make the vow, but attending instruction is different from that.

[Enough]

In my opinion, they could reasonably (and should) insist that he attend these classes so as to form an informed opinion, but should not insist that he get confirmed.

 

I disagree that confirmation would have no meaning under those circumstances. It would be meaningless if he were pressured to make the vow, but attending instruction is different from that.

 

:iagree:

And I'm troubled by the fact that the OP said the confirmation class participants "have to come to each class, unless they are sick or the family is traveling" and yet, this boy was allowed to break that rule.... for a sporting event?

 

I think the fact that he chose the soccer game means he ISN'T ready to make an adult commitment to his faith (which, for the record, I think is FINE. In our society, many (most?) 13 year olds are not developmentally or emotionally ready to make that commitment and shouldn't be forced to; I think youth confirmation is misguided, to be honest.) Being allowed to slide by certainly isn't doing him any favors in learning about making an adult commitment to his faith- or being an ADULT, for that matter.

[angela in ohio]

:iagree:

And I'm troubled by the fact that the OP said the confirmation class participants "have to come to each class, unless they are sick or the family is traveling" and yet, this boy was allowed to break that rule.... for a sporting event?

 

Me, too. I think the assignment was clever, and I understand the probable implications for refusing his confirmation (trouble with the parents,) but I still think a rule is a rule.

[Crissy]

I think the fact that he chose the soccer game means he ISN'T ready to make an adult commitment to his faith

 

I disagree.

Competitive youth sports teams put a tremendous amount of pressure on kids to be at every practice and especially at every game. I would not be surprised to find that it was a difficult decision for the young man.

That he chose his team on one occasion is not enough to indicate that he is immature in his faith.

[Margo out of lurking]

I think the fact that he chose the soccer game means he ISN'T ready to make an adult commitment to his faith

 

I earlier posted that I was surprised the parents would give an option. But I agree with those that followed, saying that may be exactly why they gave him that choice. And I agree with your comment, that he isn't ready.

 

We are in that difficult spot of making choices about a sport and church. It isn't easy. If your child has a talent there sometimes isn't a choice, that is easy.

 

For us this could be a ticket and money for college.

 

I think it depends on what it is. "Going to church" is not about going to church(!). It's just a part of one's relationship with Christ. If your ds has that relationship, it doesn't matter if he's in church or swimming. If your ds doesn't have that, it still doesn't matter if he's in church or swimming. ;) You don't have to choose between Jesus and the sport. (Based on another post or two of yours, I'm assuming you are Christian. Otherwise, I hope you will know what I mean anyway!)

 

But if one has made a commitment to the confirmation class, that commitment should come first. I'm not familiar with the Episcopal church, but I'm thinking it wouldn't have been so horrible for the boy in the original post to wait until he could commit to the classes in their entirety.

[ZooRho]

I

I think it depends on what it is. "Going to church" is not about going to church(!). It's just a part of one's relationship with Christ. If your ds has that relationship, it doesn't matter if he's in church or swimming. If your ds doesn't have that, it still doesn't matter if he's in church or swimming. ;) You don't have to choose between Jesus and the sport. (Based on another post or two of yours, I'm assuming you are Christian. Otherwise, I hope you will know what I mean anyway!)

 

But if one has made a commitment to the confirmation class, that commitment should come first. I'm not familiar with the Episcopal church, but I'm thinking it wouldn't have been so horrible for the boy in the original post to wait until he could commit to the classes in their entirety.

yes I understand. Sadly for us the choice for confirmation is out, we changed churches in-between confirmation times, one church he wasn't old enough yet, the next one the pastor was too discombulated to get it done that year and now we are in another place where they do it in 6th grade for most of the kids, but ds is 16 and they do it all year I think.

 

We haven't joined there so I don't know what we will do for him. what is hard if they only offer it at this time and there are no other options then it wouldn't work for us at all.

[In The Great White North]

Kids who want to be confirmed (make a mature profession of faith, having been baptised as infants) have to come to each class, unless they are sick or the family is traveling.

 

This is where I have a problem. Why is there no flexibility? Prioritizing something over a class is not the same as prioritizing something over your faith. To say the kids should drop all other activities for two years in case it conflicts with a class is ridiculous.

 

To expect him to drop the soccer game over the actual confirmation is reasonable; expecting him to drop the soccer game (or anything else) for a class (which is one of many) is not. The material covered in class can be easily made up. Kids do that for school all the time.

 

Their warm body in the seat for every class does not mean they are mature in their faith. It means they don't have any outside activities.

 

I was not aware that the Episcopal Church required it's members to do nothing on Sunday but go to church. It's not fair to require that of the Confirmation candidates if it is not a requirement of the church as a whole.

[Ecclecticmum]

Theres good replies for both sides.

 

I think it is a very fitting assignment.

 

I do not believe the parents should of given a "choice" per say, but the child to give explanations of what is important to him about both the game & the class. Then perhaps him asking your DH if there is the possibility of being able to have a "make-up" assignment to cover the class. So it should of been upto the child to cover bth of his responsibilities faith & sports wise. I.e. if he had missed the game instead, he should talk to the coach about it beforehand and ask for some extra coaching/home ideas to make up for missing the game.

 

This next bit is just my opinion - I think missing the class and going to the game, if the sport was important enough to him, is the ideal choice, if it were between soccer practice & the class, the class would be the better choice, if it were between the actual confirmation itself and the game, the confirmation is the better choice. But this is all from the mind of a logical adult. Obviously, faith should be put first, so the confirmation goes above all else. But classes can (at the discretion of the holder) be made up, games can't be re-played. Soccer Practice can be caught up by doing extra hours at home.

 

xxxx :001_smile: And there are a few people whom have such passion for both the Lord and their sport, that they have done quite a few miraculous deeds because of this passion.

[Enough]

 

I was not aware that the Episcopal Church required it's members to do nothing on Sunday but go to church. It's not fair to require that of the Confirmation candidates if it is not a requirement of the church as a whole.

 

The Episcopal Church does not require its members to go to church every Sunday. In theory (but rarely in practice, as the OP's and many other ECs show), though, it DOES 'require' its youth (and anyone, of any age, who wishes to be confirmed) to go through a discernment process- a class with basic information about the church, prayer, Bible study, tenets of the faith, etc- so that they can make an educated decision about whether or not they wish to be official members of the church.

[Enough]

Their warm body in the seat for every class does not mean they are mature in their faith. It means they don't have any outside activities.

 

 

It could also mean that for eight weeks, they have prioritized their church activities over their outside activities.

[In The Great White North]

It could also mean that for eight weeks, they have prioritized their church activities over their outside activities.

 

Except it was 6 months, not 8 weeks (Jan - Jun); meaning the kids would have to bow out of both winter and spring activities.

 

All it teaches them is that no one cares about them, their interests or their schedules.

[EarleneW]

Competitve youth sports are a commitment as well- He had to choose between honoring commitments on both sides. So if one was sick or traveling with family, did they have to do the makeup assignment as well? Thankfully when I was young we did it during Sunday School that year. My kids do competitive sports and you let the whole team down when your not there- FWIW. IMO, it's not fair to ask kids to sit out of other events for 2 seasons.

[KarenC]

6 months of no Sunday events? It would be very difficult for a competitive athlete to remain on the team under those circumstances.

 

Karen

[unsinkable]

Thought this was an interesting assignment--

 

Dh (an Episcopal priest, in case anyone doesn't know) teaches Confirmation class every Sunday, from January til the Bish comes in June. Kids who want to be confirmed (make a mature profession of faith, having been baptised as infants) have to come to each class, unless they are sick or the family is traveling. So, one dear boy had a soccer game--and his parents let him choose what to attend, the class or the game. He chose the game.

 

Dh gave him a make-up assignment--Dear boy had to watch Chariots of Fire and write out some answers to a study guide on it that dh made up. :D

 

(For those of you that don't know CofF, one of the Olympic athletes, a Christian, gave up a race, choosing not to run on Sunday.)

 

I think that was a pretty fitting assignment, don't you?

 

I think it was good that your DH was flexible enough to allow him to make up the class with an appropriate assignment.

 

How many times will/would any student be allowed to "make-up" a class?

[Jennifer in MI]

My dh is also an Episcopal priest and we have this issue come up all the time. I think it's a complicated one and one that my family has had to face. I have two travel baseball players. They have a commitment to the team too! It didn't mean that their faith was at all compromised when we let them miss a Sunday to go to a championship game of a tournament.

 

I think if my two kids had to choose between church and baseball (which is what would happen if we made the "no playing on Sunday" rule as no team would have them!!), they'd choose church, but I think it would make them seriously depressed and perhaps make them question their faith even more.

 

That said, I think that the assignment was an appropriate one. I think kids need to see all sides of this issue as it will come up again and again.

 

Au contraire...

 

We homeschoolers guide our children's learning. It seems that we should advocate for guiding their most important learning--Christian instruction--rather than making excuses for why it is less important than other instruction.

 

For us, Christian instruction/foundation IS the most important thing. But, my kids also make a commitment to a team. They have to honor those commitments too! These classes/church services can be made up. The gap that one missing player leaves on a team cannot.

 

:iagree:

I think the fact that he chose the soccer game means he ISN'T ready to make an adult commitment to his faith (which, for the record, I think is FINE. In our society, many (most?) 13 year olds are not developmentally or emotionally ready to make that commitment and shouldn't be forced to; I think youth confirmation is misguided, to be honest.) Being allowed to slide by certainly isn't doing him any favors in learning about making an adult commitment to his faith- or being an ADULT, for that matter.

 

I disagree. I'm sure this was not an easy decision for his family or him. Sports at this level require a LOT of time, practice and skill. They need each player to fully function as a team. My kids are very firm in their faith, and yet made that same decision (to miss church) just a couple weeks ago.

 

I disagree.

Competitive youth sports teams put a tremendous amount of pressure on kids to be at every practice and especially at every game. I would not be surprised to find that it was a difficult decision for the young man.

That he chose his team on one occasion is not enough to indicate that he is immature in his faith.

 

You said it better than I did!!!

 

C. IMO, it's not fair to ask kids to sit out of other events for 2 seasons.

 

I agree!

Edited June 8, 2011 by Jennifer in MI

[Enough]

Except it was 6 months, not 8 weeks (Jan - Jun); meaning the kids would have to bow out of both winter and spring activities.

 

All it teaches them is that no one cares about them, their interests or their schedules.

 

*shrug* I don't agree.

 

The time commitment doesn't bother me either way- 6 months or 8 weeks. Different churches have different expectations, and I really don't care one way or another how long the time commitment is.

 

What bothers me is that the youth (and their parents) knew the time commitment going into it- and I assume if they were so involved in sports, they would have already had an idea of their upcoming sports schedule, too. They could have chosen to do it another year, or lobbied to change the confirmation process or schedule so that it takes into account how important their sports are to them. Instead, they chose to disregard the rule/commitment and do whatever they wanted to do- and most sadly of all, the church enabled this behavior.

 

What is the point of having a rule and an expectation of following through on a commitment, and then allowing that to be disregarded? If these are the "rites of passage" we are using for our youth, it's no wonder the vast majority of them leave the church after confirmation. We are teaching them- explicitly- that this behavior is okay.

 

I don't discount the importance of sports or other outside activities. However, IME (working in a church, and many of my colleagues would concur) if there is a choice- the church activity almost *always* loses over the sports event. I wonder why that is? (I actually don't wonder that at all. I know the answer, and that's why I'm an advocate of eliminating youth confirmation altogether. :D)

[WishboneDawn]

...the Bish...

 

This just made me laugh. I'm Anglican and we refer to our Bishop as Bishop Sue (Sue being her nickname).

 

We're such a reverent and formal bunch, eh? :D

[WishboneDawn]

This is where I have a problem. Why is there no flexibility? Prioritizing something over a class is not the same as prioritizing something over your faith. To say the kids should drop all other activities for two years in case it conflicts with a class is ridiculous.

 

 

Some things require extraordinary commitments. Some things demand hard choices. If you agree to confirmation knowing you are supposed to show up for every class for two years then you've embraced that idea and need to show up.

[eternalknot]

I really liked everything Jennifer in MI said. I found myself nodding all the way through it.

 

What bothers me is that the youth (and their parents) knew the time commitment going into it- and I assume if they were so involved in sports, they would have already had an idea of their upcoming sports schedule, too. They could have chosen to do it another year, or lobbied to change the confirmation process or schedule so that it takes into account how important their sports are to them. Instead, they chose to disregard the rule/commitment and do whatever they wanted to do- and most sadly of all, the church enabled this behavior.

 

We know the months my son will play (Feb-July, Sept-Nov) but we don't know the specific days until sometimes the week of! Travel ball seems to operate differently than scheduled recreational play because it's subject to various tournament locations and schedules instead of one group- or city-sponsored organization. Tournament play is also such that one day's schedules will be determined -last minute- after the day prior's play has been scored. It can be so tricky to plan in advance around.

 

I don't discount the importance of sports or other outside activities. However, IME (working in a church, and many of my colleagues would concur) if there is a choice- the church activity almost *always* loses over the sports event. I wonder why that is? (I actually don't wonder that at all. I know the answer, and that's why I'm an advocate of eliminating youth confirmation altogether. :D)

 

I am not Christian, and have never been. I don't pretend to understand the sacramental process or reasoning for the whens/whys. My kids' church recently decided to require two-years of good attendance (no more than two absences) in the year of and prior to receiving a sacrament. This affects my younger child, who I hadn't planned to enroll but discovered must be. I let the church know ahead of time that she'd be missing four classes for the upcoming year, based on visitation with her dad (who lives in another state). They basically suggested she wouldn't be able to make her sacrament on time because of it; thing is, her visitation is the same every year.

 

Will they put her off indefinitely, or will they eventually give in ... who knows. As a non-Christian, I'm not threatened by her not receiving her sacrament because it holds no value to me personally. As the mother of a heavily spiritual child who wants it more than anything and is counting the months until she is eligible to receive, ... my heart breaks at how inflexible the parish is being. The director says it's basically a zero-tolerance type of ruling based on kids who skip for sports and dance (as you say, church always comes second). I see her POV and wish they would show more grace and take things on a case-by-case basis.

 

Like the OP's husband did. I've never heard of or seen that movie, but it sounds like an appropriate movie and thoughtful way to encourage a child to reflect on his choices. I guess I should google how it ends, before I comment LOL. I'll post this anyway and google later :D that'll probably come back to bite me in the behind.

 

The kid might still feel good about his decision, knowing his faith is stronger than class attendance, but more food for thought in the form of a movie can't be an altogther bad thing IMO.

[eternalknot]

Some things require extraordinary commitments. Some things demand hard choices. If you agree to confirmation knowing you are supposed to show up for every class for two years then you've embraced that idea and need to show up.

 

Has this kid otherwise been faithful in attendance and actively participating? Has this kid been someone who goofs off in class and is just there for his parents' desire for the social ritual? I think that matters.

 

Why does the church equate perfect attendance with being more important than the overall content and thought-process derived from regular, on-going class attendance during the Confirmation process?

[Ohdanigirl]

I think it was nice of him to allow a make-up assignment. I hope he has something similar for those who are traveling.

 

I think this can be a hard decision. As others have said, it was a choice between commitments. One may seem less important to others. I don't think we should jump to that conclusion. I had to make similar decisions for my dc when doing there First Communion. They are required to attend for two years. Classes are on Saturdays from 9AM-12PM. Where I live, that basically removes you from most other activities. In addition, after class began, they informed us that my dc had to attend Mass at a set hour(10AM). Being who am, I butt heads with the teachers over this quite a few times. I prefer to attend church earlier, my boys had chess on some Sundays at 11AM, and we also like to visit grandpa in the states on Sunday. My children had given up their soccer team on Sat.

 

There was really no other option for them. You cannot lobby to change things here. It would be seen as very badly. I tried to get permission for my dc to do their Catechism in San Diego, where the classes took place early Sunday morning. No go, we do not live there, so the church would not allow it.

 

Next year ds needs to begin preparing for his confirmation. It will be the same thing all over again. I am currently looking at other churches to see what the rules are for Mass times. I hope to be better informed this time.;)

 

Danielle

[Daisy]

Excellent assignment.

 

This is one reason our family doesn't make sports commitments on Sundays.

[In The Great White North]

What is the point of having a rule and an expectation of following through on a commitment, and then allowing that to be disregarded? If these are the "rites of passage" we are using for our youth, it's no wonder the vast majority of them leave the church after confirmation.

 

What is the point of the rule period?

 

Actually, most of dd's First Communion class left BEFORE Confirmation, not after. I bet these rules had something to do with that.

[Night Elf]

So if one was sick or traveling with family, did they have to do the makeup assignment as well?

 

I asked the same thing, but no response. I'm really genuinely curious so I thought I would bump the thread so it doesn't get lost.

[mom4him]

Thought this was an interesting assignment--

 

Dh (an Episcopal priest, in case anyone doesn't know) teaches Confirmation class every Sunday, from January til the Bish comes in June. Kids who want to be confirmed (make a mature profession of faith, having been baptised as infants) have to come to each class, unless they are sick or the family is traveling. So, one dear boy had a soccer game--and his parents let him choose what to attend, the class or the game. He chose the game.

 

Dh gave him a make-up assignment--Dear boy had to watch Chariots of Fire and write out some answers to a study guide on it that dh made up. :D

 

(For those of you that don't know CofF, one of the Olympic athletes, a Christian, gave up a race, choosing not to run on Sunday.)

 

I think that was a pretty fitting assignment, don't you?

:iagree:

[C_l_e_0..Q_c]

My own kids had to miss quite a few Sundays of catechism (and I'm a catechist myself, and I had to miss too!) for sport events. There is just no way around it. As a parent you cannot control the dates of the events, and you can't just stay home and do nothing, in case it might lead to a conflict later on.

 

My daughter is in gymnastics. She trains hard, year round, 20 hours a week. And I should step in and tell her she can't compete when it clashes with a class where an extra assignment can be had?

 

My son doesn't train as hard, but he's part of a team. The team can't compete if he's not there ( or any other kid) because it's a team of 8. Everyone must be present at the competition.

 

I really don't see myself telling the kids they can't register for their sport in case there's a conflict later between a church activity and a competition. My son even chose to postpone his own confirmation by a year due to this situation. It was his choice and we respected that.

 

That said, the OP's DH's make up assignment is a perfect choice. bravo!

[8circles]

choosing the sport over the class - eh - I don't think it says anything meaningful either way.

 

I think the choice of make-up work was brilliant, though. A lot can be learned from that movie, even if you think choosing the sport was the right thing to do.

[Home'scool]

My own kids had to miss quite a few Sundays of catechism (and I'm a catechist myself, and I had to miss too!) for sport events. There is just no way around it. As a parent you cannot control the dates of the events, and you can't just stay home and do nothing, in case it might lead to a conflict later on.

 

My daughter is in gymnastics. She trains hard, year round, 20 hours a week. And I should step in and tell her she can't compete when it clashes with a class where an extra assignment can be had?

 

My son doesn't train as hard, but he's part of a team. The team can't compete if he's not there ( or any other kid) because it's a team of 8. Everyone must be present at the competition.

 

I really don't see myself telling the kids they can't register for their sport in case there's a conflict later between a church activity and a competition. My son even chose to postpone his own confirmation by a year due to this situation. It was his choice and we respected that.

 

 

:iagree:

 

I can absolutely see sometimes making the decision to go to the sporting event. And I do not think it would be a reflection of my child's immaturity or lack of commitment to her faith.

 

I do see, however, that you need to set some guidelines for class attendance, or the excuses alone would boggle the mind.

 

I think I might, as a parent, be a bit miffed about the assignment. It is clever in it's message, but I feel like it borders on being a bit snarky. And I bristle a bit when people get snarky about my parenting choices.

[emubird]

I've never really understood why a confirmation class at a particular time is seen as more important than ANYTHING else in the child's life. I've never understood why the confirmation class material can't be made up in other ways. (So I think the assignment the OP mentioned is a good idea.)

 

And now for my rant, which is only tangentially related. Seriously, given the confirmation classes we've been involved in, what kid wouldn't pick some other activity over confirmation? I think some clergy just like to pull out the: well, it's your faith and that's more important than anything clause. But that importance doesn't bleed over into making their making the class actually worthwhile. Just because it's CALLED confirmation doesn't mean anything.

 

Unfortunately, the pastors we've been involved with seem to think that just showing up is the important thing. They often don't even bother to prepare anything to talk about. Or they give the same talk over and over and over and over.... They gave my kids a hard time about not showing up to confirmation class much (it really IS their decision, unlike baptism and if nothing was happening, why should they show up?) and weren't all that willing to confirm them (which my kids actually didn't care about, as they saw it as a ritual only, with no bearing on their actual faith). In fact, my kids were much more interested in being involved with the life of the church - the choir and volunteer work - then sitting through another worthless confirmation hour (I won't even call what they were doing class, as nothing got covered).

 

And guess who still comes to church? My kids. Guess who doesn't go to church anymore AT ALL? All those kids who were forced into going to confirmation.

 

Anyway, that's my rant. I suspect we had a particularly bad experience, but we were committed to staying in this church because of its other good qualities (the ones that keep my kids coming!). I'm still disappointed confirmation didn't amount to anything but taking attendance.

[mommaduck]

Thought this was an interesting assignment--

 

Dh (an Episcopal priest, in case anyone doesn't know) teaches Confirmation class every Sunday, from January til the Bish comes in June. Kids who want to be confirmed (make a mature profession of faith, having been baptised as infants) have to come to each class, unless they are sick or the family is traveling. So, one dear boy had a soccer game--and his parents let him choose what to attend, the class or the game. He chose the game.

 

Dh gave him a make-up assignment--Dear boy had to watch Chariots of Fire and write out some answers to a study guide on it that dh made up. :D

 

(For those of you that don't know CofF, one of the Olympic athletes, a Christian, gave up a race, choosing not to run on Sunday.)

 

I think that was a pretty fitting assignment, don't you?

 

Very appropriate :D Though I think it's crummy that they schedule games when many people would be in church (yes, and when many aren't). Of course, then there is the issue where other days are holy to other faiths...it's a no win situation sometimes.