Moms of girls - female content

[Mommy22alyns]

When do you talk to your DDs about AF? I know it's best to do it before they start, obviously. I started pretty late and Becca is slender and athletic and showing zero signs of puberty. Advice from moms who've BTDT much appreciated! :)

[Parrothead]

By 9 or 10 at least. I waited until dd was almost 10. I bought her some supplies and just recently (since she is actually entering puberty) this set of books.

[amo_mea_filiis.]

I'm not too much help, because my dd has always been aware of things. She knows what tampons and pads are, and that there are other options she can look into when wanted. Even my ds knows some basic AF info.

 

My dd is 10 and developing. Ever since she needed a bra, she carries a just in case pad.

 

ETA: We've had the body book for a few years now as well.

[Avila]

When do you talk to your DDs about AF? I know it's best to do it before they start, obviously. I started pretty late and Becca is slender and athletic and showing zero signs of puberty. Advice from moms who've BTDT much appreciated! :)

 

I try to by 9. My girls, so far, have not personally needed the talk. But a lot of other girls at that age DO need it, and I want my kids to understand it before they are presented with the reality of it.

 

I went to Girl Scout camp in 3rd grade, and there was a girl there in my cabin who got AF. I had no clue what was going on, and sadly, neither did she. The leaders (none of which was her mom) had a lot of explaining to do. And I decided then that my kids would hear that from me, if at all possible.

[Evergreen State Sue]

I was 10 when my mom got me a book called "Now you are 10" and it discussed this stuff. So I was looking forward to talking to my daughter at age 10. Unfortunately, she had a well child visit at age 9 and the doctor brought up the subject. I was so disappointed she didn't hear it from me first. The doctor dropped the subject when I told her we haven't discussed that yet.

 

I was 12 when I started so I thought I had time. Then a friend told me her daughter started a couple of days after her 10th birthday, so I knew that just in case I'd better talk to her just before she turned 10. It was another 3 years before the event happened.

[Jennifer in MI]

I'm not too much help, because my dd has always been aware of things..

 

Me too. My dd has been in the bathroom with me and seen things. I've explained it to her in a 5 yo's terms. She knows it will happen to her. I find it easier to explain things when they're little so it's not awkward when they're older. Then, as they age, the discussions become more technical.

 

My boys know all about periods too. They know it not only from a technical side but also from an emotional one. They know that I have mood changes around that time of month. I've also told them about cramps and bloating. Heck, they're gonna' be prepared when they get married!!!

[RoughCollie]

I told DD when she was 8.5. It wasn't necessary at that point, but since the boys were learning about the facts of life, I figured I'd rather be the one to tell her. I haven't considered my boys to be helpful teachers of DD since they taught her to climb out of her crib.

Edited May 26, 2011 by RoughCollie

[AmyinMD]

I waited too long. My dd got hers right at 11 and I thought I still had time. I hadn't gotten mine until much later.

[Karen in CO]

By 9 or 10 at least. I waited until dd was almost 10. I bought her some supplies and just recently (since she is actually entering puberty) this set of books.

 

That book was terrific and has answered questions as my dd has thought of them.

 

I've gradually given more sophisticated answers to children's questions. My dd was asking questions that the book addresses around 9 or 10.

[JeneralMom]

My kids all know about it because I addressed it when we talked about how babies are made.

[Ali in OR]

My dd's doctor confirmed that she was getting buds at her well-child check-up when she turned 9, so shortly after that we went over it together and she then read The Care and Keeping of You many times on her own. I would have loved to wait another year or two, but since she was already changing, it was time.

[unsinkable]

I'm going to regret this but...

 

i know what we're talking about but what does AF mean?

[LG Gone Wild]

I'm going to regret this but...

 

i know what we're talking about but what does AF mean?

 

I was wondering the same thing!

[Jennifer in MI]

I'm going to regret this but...

 

i know what we're talking about but what does AF mean?

 

I was wondering the same thing!

 

I think it's "Aunt Flo." Get it? :001_smile:

[Lara in Colo]

I have a problem with this same issue.

DD10 is very smart--but not very discreet.

She just want everyone to know what she knows --she get so excited about things.

No matter how many talks I have about being discreet (not saying everything you know to everyone)

She has gotten me into trouble with my mother and other people when she blurts family business out to others. We have stopped talking around her and try to not include her in any conversations.

 

If I have this talk with her, my 9yo will know (this is fine, she is discreet), my 7yo will blab (incorrect info at church) and my 6yo son will do G.. knows what.

[Dawn in OH]

I'm the mother of a 8 1/2 year old girl. This thread has depressed me. Can she be 3 again, please?

[delaney]

We sat down not too long ago(she is almost 11) and talked about all of it including what she "thought" she already knew. She did have a bit of a strange look on her face when I explained things....especially what a a vasectomy so that we can't have anymore of the siblings she begs for.:D

[Mynyel]

I got:

 

http://www.amazon.com/Care-Keeping-You-American-Library/dp/1562476661/ref=pd_sim_b_3

 

I did block out a couple pages at first... the ones about tampons (Or tampoons as my dd first called them :lol:). I thought it was a little over the top.

 

Other than that, it was the best thing ever. She would read it and ask questions, and that was it. She started about a year after I gave her the book with little fan fair.

 

I was very happy with it. :)

[Mommy22alyns]

I'm the mother of a 8 1/2 year old girl. This thread has depressed me. Can she be 3 again, please?

 

 

I know... In 2nd grade, Becca already had a girl in her class wearing a bra!

[Elizabeth in WA]

I got my daughter "The Care and Keeping of You" shortly after she turned 8 and have answered her questions about it. I know she has discussed it with her friends in the neighborhood (at least one of whom claims to have reached menarche) because I have answered her questions as a result and discussed those discussions with her. I would not have wanted her first information to come from them.

[Dawn in OH]

I know... In 2nd grade, Becca already had a girl in her class wearing a bra!

 

Seriously? In 2nd grade? Because she needed it? That's awful!

[texasmama]

My oldest dd has heard about menstrual cycles from the time she was old enough to notice what was going on with me when we were in a public bathroom together. In about the 4th or 5th grade, we got her The American Girl book which covers this (and other) issues. It was a good resource for her. I never really had a "big talk" about it since we had lots of little ones through the years, and she always asked any questions she had.

[Elfinlady]

I'm just discussing this with my 9 year old now. We are reading The Care and Keeping of You together. Today we got to the section on periods. Her reaction was, "That's digusting!" :lol:

 

She did enjoy the show and tell I did of various supplies. We soaked a disposable pad and tampon so she could see how absorbent they are. Then I showed her some cloth pads. She really liked those, and that will be the way we go when it's time.

[Rhonda in TX]

I talked to DD when she was 9. She was already starting to develop, so I knew it was time. I also got her The Care and Keeping of You, which others have mentioned here. It's a great book.

[Jennifer in MI]

I'm just discussing this with my 9 year old now. We are reading The Care and Keeping of You together. Today we got to the section on periods. Her reaction was, "That's digusting!" :lol:

 

She did enjoy the show and tell I did of various supplies. We soaked a disposable pad and tampon so she could see how absorbent they are. Then I showed her some cloth pads. She really liked those, and that will be the way we go when it's time.

 

You are SUCH a homeschooler!!!! Turning THE talk into a science experiment! :lol: Actually, I love it! I'm stealing it. I hope my dd chooses cloth too, but I'll show her all her options.

[Rhonda in TX]

Seriously? In 2nd grade? Because she needed it? That's awful!

 

My DD started wearing one in 3rd grade. I remember I wasn't sure if she needed one, so I asked a friend who had two older daughters (one in high school). Her answer was an unhesitating "yes!". So, I went down and bought her a training bra that day. Sigh...

[kchara]

I had the first "talk" when DD was 8 1/2. We took a special shopping trip and got her The Care and Keeping of You. We revisit it any time she has a question. I haven't done a show and tell yet... hmm... I probably won't inentionally revisit it (coming to her, not her coming to me with questions) until she starts to develop. She's pretty flat yet.

[WistfulRidge]

I never got the AF talk (or any other "Talk") from my mom... partly I think because I started at 11 and I think my mom thought she had more time. I was fine, and having been a curious know-it-all all my life I knew what was going on because I'd heard someone talking about it when I was 9 or so and had gone looking for books on the subject. Mom didn't even know that I had started until I threw a package of pads into the shopping cart because I figured I shouldn't steal her stash of them. However, I don't really want that for my dds (if/when I have them) so I've always figured I'd discuss AF with them around the time they turn 9.

[3lilreds in NC]

I waited too long. My dd got hers right at 11 and I thought I still had time. I hadn't gotten mine until much later.

 

This is what happened to me! I thought Em had more time; I think we'd talked about it before, but I only found out what had happened when my mom was doing laundry and told me to talk to her about it. Poor kid, I can't believe she didn't come rushing to talk to me when she started!

[In the Rain]

I've talked to my 9yo about it. She freaks out about blood loss and wounds in general, so I wanted to make sure she wouldn't be caught off guard.

[Mommy22alyns]

I've talked to my 9yo about it. She freaks out about blood loss and wounds in general, so I wanted to make sure she wouldn't be caught off guard.

 

 

This is Rebecca too. I'd hate to think of how she'd react if it caught her off guard.

[LG Gone Wild]

I'm the mother of a 8 1/2 year old girl. This thread has depressed me. Can she be 3 again, please?

 

No kidding..:glare:

[cassiemc]

DD turned 9 almost 2 months ago. We bought her "The Care and Keeping of You." I was 11, so I hope we have a little time left, but you never know! How I wish we had more than 5 years before she has to worry about this stuff!

[Mejane]

I'm going to regret this but...

 

i know what we're talking about but what does AF mean?

 

I was wondering, too, but didn't want to ask. :D

[Mimm]

I talked to my oldest last year when she was nine. I gave her an American Girls book and she loved reading it and she would talk to me about it. My younger daughter has been getting information too, from her sister and from me.

Edited May 26, 2011 by Mimm
clarity

[Running the race]

I just went through the book The Care and Keeping of You with my daughter this month. She will be 10 in June.

[Brindee]

Me too. My dd has been in the bathroom with me and seen things. I've explained it to her in a 5 yo's terms. She knows it will happen to her. I find it easier to explain things when they're little so it's not awkward when they're older. Then, as they age, the discussions become more technical.

 

My boys know all about periods too. They know it not only from a technical side but also from an emotional one. They know that I have mood changes around that time of month. I've also told them about cramps and bloating. Heck, they're gonna' be prepared when they get married!!!

:iagree: This is how it's been at our house too! My boys know about them and how they can affect women/girls. My dd has known forever (her forever), it seems, and like Jennifer said, she's asked about things as she thought of them as she was growing up and has been ready for whenever it chooses to show up.

 

My mom was 16, I was 14. DD's 14 and hasn't started yet. I am VERY happy about that, since my mom and I had HORRIBLE periods! :glare: I've prayed that dd doesn't have that, but if she does, I've been hoping it holds off for as long as possible!!!

[NorCalMom]

I would talk with her soon. The American Girl book is great. We got it when dd was 9. I'm so glad because she started irregular menses one month after her 10th bday! I can't believe it & neither can her pediatrician. She has no other signs of puberty except for moodiness from the hormone shifts. At her 9 yr. well check her doctor said she was years away. Crazy! :tongue_smilie:

[PiCO]

When do you talk to your DDs about AF? I know it's best to do it before they start, obviously. I started pretty late and Becca is slender and athletic and showing zero signs of puberty. Advice from moms who've BTDT much appreciated! :)

 

I have no idea what you mean by "AF", but I'm assuming from the context you mean her menstrual period. (MP?)

 

I would advise to start talking about anything your or your dd might find embarassing as early as possible. If you've already talked about puberty, sex, and all the gory details (in an age appropriate manner) when your kids were young, they will be more inclined to ask you any questions that come up rather than asking friends (who may give misinformation.)

 

By young, I mean as soon as the kids can talk. Just naturally letting conversation flow though- not structured lectures or anything.

[littlebug42]

My girls are 9 and 7 and they both have read the American Girl book. They read it probably at ages 8 and 6 so they know what is ahead of them. When the signs of puberty set in, I will probably go over it all again with them.

[The Girls' Mom]

We started talking about it in a little more depth around age 8 here. I started my period at the ripe old age of 9! and wanted my girls to be prepared. I knew what it was and it didn't seem like that big of a deal to me at the time. With my girls, one started at 11, and two started when they were almost 11.

[Lolly]

Started when she was just about 2. Have built from there. An in depth review at about 9.

[Janie Grace]

I don't remember. I think she probably first asked about feminine supplies that she noticed around when she was 5 or 6. She's a very curious child, so it didn't take long for her to ask about all the details. She is now 12 and hasn't started (probably won't for a few years, given her development and our family history!) but brings the topic up whenever we're alone. :D She's sort of fascinated by it, the way I remember being (along w/ my friends) at her age. I never wanted to have "THE TALK" -- I think it's too awkward and weird. I just want the topic to be a normal part of our conversation (I feel the same about the topic if s*x).

[Jennifer3141]

My kids have always known about menstruation. Doesn't everyone's kids bust in on them in the bathroom??? I do use cloth pads too though and they like to sit in the sun just like cloth diapers so that's led to a few discussions. DD thinks it'll be neat when she can have her own pads and DS like to tease his sister that she'll go nuts like mom once a month and eat all the chocolate within a 10 mile radius. :D

[Mommy22alyns]

Doesn't everyone's kids bust in on them in the bathroom???

 

 

I lock the door at that time of the month.

[ThatCyndiGirl]

IMO, it is easier when done gradually. When she is preschool age and needs to be in the bathroom with you (because you are in public or can't be left alone in the house, etc.) she notices that you are changing pad/tampon and you say casually, "women bleed every month and it doens't hurt. (you may have to lie on that point. :tongue_smilie: ) It's so they can have babies". That's the first part of OUR sex ed and it goes on from there as a gradual/casual conversation so we never have to sit down and do ''THE TALK''.

[EthiopianFood]

Me too. My dd has been in the bathroom with me and seen things. I've explained it to her in a 5 yo's terms. She knows it will happen to her. I find it easier to explain things when they're little so it's not awkward when they're older. Then, as they age, the discussions become more technical.

 

:iagree: Absolutely, 100%.

[EthiopianFood]

I lock the door at that time of the month.

 

Well, maybe you could purchase supplies while they are with you, and casually mention that you are expecting your period soon, and want to make sure you are prepared. It would be very casual, but would hopefully make them ask what a period was.

[Grateful for Grace]

As soon as she starts budding, then I believe it's time to prepare her. I found my firstborn on the toilet reading my tampon package insert when she was 6, so.... she kinda busted my plan. ;)

[EthiopianFood]

I would talk with her soon. The American Girl book is great. We got it when dd was 9. I'm so glad because she started irregular menses one month after her 10th bday! I can't believe it & neither can her pediatrician. She has no other signs of puberty except for moodiness from the hormone shifts. At her 9 yr. well check her doctor said she was years away. Crazy! :tongue_smilie:

 

:001_huh: Oh my. Was she tall and/or chubby? Or still very much skinny, short, little kid? Dn is turning 11 next month, and looks very much like a little girl still....